My Father's Shadow, Part 3
by MisterEWriter
Summary: The story continues. How do things change for Steve and Alex now that Doris is back and Catherine becomes a more permanent fixture in their lives? McRoll fans will LOVE Chapter 18! Please read parts 1 and 2 if you are a new reader to this story. Thanks for reading!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here is the first chapter of part 3! Thank you to everyone who has read the first two parts! I hope you continue to enjoy this story! If you are new to this story, please read My Father's Shadow and MFS2 as I feel like they are both essential to understanding everything that has happened up to this point. **

**Since I do try to stick to as much canon as possible, please be warned that you might cry while reading this chapter as it does take place during episode 1 of season 3. **

**As always, please read and review! Mahalo!**

* * *

As she crawled under the covers of her bed, the only thing on Alex's grief-stricken mind was the hope that her dad, wherever he was in Japan, was faring better than everyone here. It was now nine in the morning and she had yet to go to sleep. Even though they were all running on adrenaline, Catherine – she was staying with her and Josh at the house since Josh's dad was still gone for work – had suggested that all three of them try to finally get some sleep. It had been a rough eighteen hours since bidding her Dad goodbye at Headquarters. Even though she hadn't been there for any part of it, pretty much all hell had broken loose as soon as her dad had headed to the airport with Commander White. In the hours since then, so many lives had been touched by grief. So many lives had been altered forever thanks to the man that Kono had helped put away all those months ago during her undercover stint.

It had all started during dinner last night when she had a received a phone call from Grace. Speaking in hushed tones, the ten-year-old had told her that she overheard her Mom and Stan talking about moving back to the mainland. They wanted Grace to go with them which had caused Grace to fear that she wouldn't see her dad anymore. She had said that she liked Hawaii, she liked being able to spend time with her dad, and she really didn't want to move again. Alex had calmed her down, assuring her that everything would be okay, while hoping to herself that her words wouldn't end up being a lie; she really hoped Uncle Danny and Grace would not be put through another separation. After hanging up with Grace, she had finished eating her meal, continuing to tell Catherine all about their exams and future plans for Heart2Heart.

After dinner, Catherine had taken them to Jungle River Mini Golf in Aiea, where they met up with Sam and his friend's family for an 18-hole game. Then, after a shaved ice and conversation, Sam had ended up coming home with them. They had thrown a football around in the backyard – Catherine had joined them – for nearly an hour, before Sam had headed off to bed, falling asleep on the couch. The three of them had stayed in the backyard, playing with Anchor, until Catherine had received a panicked phone call from Danny, telling them that the paramedics were called to Chin's house and that Malia was being rushed to the hospital. As soon as Catherine had told her, Alex had requested that they go to the hospital to check on Malia and to be supportive of Chin.

They had gotten to the hospital around ten p.m., meeting Danny just inside the entrance, and, within five minutes of their arrival, they received the news that Malia had not made it; she had died at home, with Chin holding her hand. Chin, who had obviously been crying prior to their arrival, had slumped against the wall, sliding down until he was seated on the floor. His hand had been bruised and scratched; it had resembled the injury Josh had received after punching a wall. They had all stood there in shock; how was it that the woman who had just laughed with them at a barbecue the weekend prior was now dead? How had Chin, who was still technically a newlywed, already become a widower? Josh had escorted his brother down the hall, telling Catherine that they would meet them in the front lobby of the hospital, while Alex had been riveted to the scene of the now-broken Chin in front of her. Catherine had tried to pull her away, to give Chin and Danny some space, but Alex had refused when she heard Chin utter the words, "It was Delano".

Frank Delano, the ex-cop who had gone to jail after Kono's undercover operation, had orchestrated revenge on the Five-0 taskforce from behind bars. He had been responsible for everything that had taken place that day – Captain Fryer being murdered; Max being shot at the scene of Fryer's death; the explosion at HPD – and, according to Chin, had also had both Malia and Kono kidnapped. Chin had helped get Delano out of prison and then he had been given a choice: his cousin or his wife. Both had been hostage, with tape covering their mouths and hands tied up behind them, and it had been up to him to decide which one to save and which one to let die. Chin told Danny that he had elected to go rescue Malia and, while rushing home to save her, he had called Adam Noshimuri to save Kono. When Chin had arrived home, Malia had been lying on the kitchen floor, bleeding heavily from a gunshot wound to the abdomen. As for Kono, Chin did not know if she had been saved or not.

It wasn't until she stepped foot inside of the healing garden that Alex had allowed herself to break down. She had wept for Chin's loss, for his was a loss so profound and so deep that she could not even fathom it. She had wept for Malia; her life had been far too short. She had wept for Captain Fryer and for Max and for all of the HPD cops injured that day. She had wept for Kono, praying that Adam had reached her in time. She had wept out of sadness that Danny might lose Grace. Josh had found her there and he immediately had gathered her in his arms, holding her as she cried while his own tears fell quietly. Sam had joined them not much longer, throwing his arms around both of their waists as he, too, gave into tears. Catherine had found them all there later, embracing all three of them, until their tears had dried. Then, as they had been exiting the hospital through the lobby, Danny had found them, telling them that Kono had been brought in by Adam – he had performed CPR on her – for an examination after she had nearly drowned.

They had stayed at the hospital for several more hours – Catherine had suggested they go home but all three kids had insisted they stay – until Kono was released from the hospital and Danny drove Chin to the Medical Examiner's office. All four of them had been in a daze yet none of them longed for sleep so they had made breakfast. Everything they did had seemed to take forever to complete; their grief had slowed their movements down. They had eaten in silence, with Sam dozing off with his head on the table around six o'clock. Josh had picked up his brother and carried him to the couch, tucking him in underneath an afghan. After their meal, Josh and Catherine had washed the dishes while Alex had insisted on cleaning both the kitchen and the dining room. Around quarter to nine, she had started to clean the downstairs bathroom when Catherine had taken the sponge out of her hand and led her up the stairs, telling her they all needed to try to get some rest.

Not that she could see herself getting any sleep; she was still lying under her covers, wide awake. With a loud sigh, she climbed out of bed. Stopping first at her dresser, she pulled a Navy blue t-shirt – it had once belonged to her Dad and advertised the Naval Academy – over her head and then she headed downstairs. Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, she saw Josh sitting in the recliner with the footrest up and, on his lap was the laptop he had gotten for his birthday; he had ear buds in his ears. When he saw her, he pushed a button on the laptop and then took one ear bud out of his ear. Whispering, he asked, "You can't sleep either?" When she silently agreed with a nod, he held one ear bud out to her. "I'm having a Transformers marathon. Wanna watch?" She walked across the room, squeezing in next to him on the recliner. Sticking the ear bud in her ear, she settled down next to him, her head resting on his shoulder. When Catherine woke up three hours later, that was exactly how she had found them; this time they were both fast asleep.

* * *

"Sure you don't want a cup?" Doris McGarrett asked her son as she lifted a tea kettle off of the burner. Not getting a response, she turned around. "Steve?"

Coming out of his daze, Steve answered, "No. No thank you."

Abandoning the kettle after pouring herself a cup, Doris took a seat across from the son she had not seen in twenty years. "I know you must have a lot of questions, Steve."

"Yeah," Steve said, "why don't we start with Shelburne?" Shelburne was, after all, the reason his father had been murdered and why Wo Fat had caused so much damage to their family. Shelburne was the reason for everything that had taken place over the last twenty years.

Doris nodded, cradling the tea cup in both of her hands. "Shelburne was the code name the agency gave me."

It took Steve a moment to respond. All of this was so shocking, so unbelievable; he felt like he was in a dream. "I'm sorry," he said, "agency? What agency?"

"Before I met your father I worked for an intelligence program that reported directly to the Pentagon," Doris answered.

Talk about yet another shock to his system. "You were a spy?"

"Yes."

"So all those years I thought you were a nurse… that was just…"

"It was a cover."

"And, uh," he said, placing a hand over his heart. "Were me and Mary just a cover, too?" He stared at his mother for several quiet moments. Never, in a million years, had he imagined that Shelburne's secret identity would be as life-altering as this.

Doris shook her head, emotions threatening to bubble to the surface. "Shelburne was way before you and Mary."

Steve dropped his hand back to his side. "How'd you meet Wo Fat's father?"

"He was an assignment."

"So you were ordered to kill him?"

"It was a little more complicated than that so…"

His anger rose to the surface. "Well we have some time so why don't you uncomplicate it?" He licked his lips, his mouth strangely dry due to the overwhelming emotions coursing through his body.

"Okay," Doris said, tapping the tea cup with her left hand which, to Steve's shock, still sported her wedding band. "Like you, I served my country." She sighed. "But after I got married, I left the agency because I wanted to be a mother. Unfortunately, I could change my name but not my past."

"That's why you pretended to be dead?" Steve said, clasping his hands together, his fingers entwined with each other. He swallowed hard, wondering what all Joe had told her. She obviously knew about his military service. Did she know about Mary's tumultuous adolescence and young adulthood? Did she know about his past relationship with Cindy? Did she know about Catherine? Did she know that he had a daughter?

Doris leaned forward. "When I made that choice, I knew that my life would never be the same. I knew that I would have to give up the only thing that meant anything to me – my family."

"So why'd you do it, Doris," Steve asked, "if that's even your real name." He bit his lip momentarily, tilting his head in a sign that he expected a quick and honest answer from her.

"It was the name I was born with," Doris replied, "and the name I went back to the day I met your father." Shifting uncomfortably, she continued, "And, since when does a son call his mother by her first name?"

"Since you failed to be one twenty years ago." At his comment, his mother's eyes filled with tears but, honestly, he could care less. He was angry – what had given his mother the right to fake her death, leaving her family with pain and heartache? – and he hoped she could understand why. The pain he had endured as a fifteen-year-old when he had been told his mother was dead; it still resonated deep inside of him. The turmoil and years of bad mistakes that Mary had made – those were a result from what their mother had done. Everything that had occurred in the last twenty years was the result of his mother's selfish choice.

"I didn't see any other option, Steve," she stated firmly. "Wo Fat was looking for the person who murdered his father and he was willing to kill anyone who stood in his way."

Not liking her answer, he stated in a tone that expressed his disgust with her, "So you _faked_ your own death."

"Yeah," Doris answered, getting defensive. "I did what I had to do to protect my own family."

Steve stood up. It took him several moments to respond. "You know, Dad sent us away, thinking he had to protect us. Then he spent the next twenty years looking for your killer." His thoughts instantly traveled to Alex and the deep heartache she had felt after losing her grandfather. To know that her pain and his death could have been prevented if only his mother had not faked her death… it was gut-wrenching. "All of that was for nothing."

"If I had told him the truth, Wo Fat would have executed him."

Raising his voice, he replied, "Wo Fat executed him anyway!" His mother's eyes filling with tears, he blinked away his own and walked to the window. He stared out the window.

"You and Mary," Doris said, "God knows you deserved better."

His hand to his mouth, Steve closed his eyes. For having come so far, for finally forgiving his father and for learning how to move on past his death, the rage was slowly building up inside of him. The pain was renewed, as fresh and raw as the day it had happened. Then his thoughts once again traveled to his daughter – how was he ever going to explain all of this to her? His eyes full of tears, he turned his head and looked at his mother.

"I just – I didn't know what else to do, Steve." Doris shook her head. "I never once did not spend a day not thinking about you."

Walking back towards her, he pressed his fingers into his chest and asked, "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

She shrugged a little and shook her head. "It's the truth."

"What am I supposed to do with that truth?" He got angry again. "I'm just supposed to forgive you now, huh? Is that it? Move on?"

"No," Doris said, standing up and facing off against the little boy who had grown into a man taller than her now. "I'd just like you to understand. I'd like you to just try to understand." She choked back the tears.

He now knew exactly how his daughter had felt when her mother had walked back into her life. He now understood that feeling of desperation, that longing to reconnect with his mother, even though a large part of him harbored so much anger towards her and what she had done. The fifteen-year-old kid inside of him had always wanted to spend one more minute with his mother and now he had been given that chance. That feeling, coupled with the intense desire to keep an eye on her until the entire truth had come out, was what made him say, "Pack a bag."

"Pack… what do you mean?" Doris asked, surprised by the sudden change in him. "Where are we going?"

"We're going home."

"It's not safe," Doris argued, shaking her head. "I can't."

"Wo Fat can't hurt you," Steve told her. "He's being transferred to a super max facility on the mainland today." With a glance towards the door, he continued, "By the time we land in Oahu, he's out of our lives forever."

* * *

As the island of Oahu appeared on the horizon, Steve glanced across the aisle at his mother. Then he thought back on the conversation he had with Joe just prior to getting on the plane in Tokyo.

"_I can't believe you, Joe," Steve said, his anger evident in his voice as the two of them stopped walking once they were out of earshot of Doris. "How dare you! You knew she was alive and –"_

"_I've told you repeatedly that everything I've done was done to –"_

"_To keep me safe," Steve interrupted. "Yeah, yeah, I've heard that more times than I can count." His eyes were like lasers, gazing deeply with contempt at the man who he had admired for nearly his entire life. "You helped my mom fake her death! You kept it from my dad – he was your friend!"_

"_I did it to keep him safe, Steve," Joe said, his voice calm and steady. He had prepared himself for an encounter like this. He knew that, as soon as the identity of Shelburne was revealed, Steve's anger would escalate to a level that he had never seen before. Sensing that Steve was going to argue, he held his hand up. "I know what this secret did to your family. I acknowledge that it caused a lot of pain – not just to you but also to Mary and your dad – but I stand by my decision. I had to help your Mom keep you all safe." Locking his eyes with the younger man's, he added, "I did this to also keep your daughter safe."_

_Steve expelled a breath."So, it was okay for you to keep the truth from us yet you had no problem keeping my Mom updated on everything going on in my life?" His mother knew he had served in the military, she had made that clear. It made sense that Joe had kept her informed of other important things, too._

"_Not everything, Steve."_

"_What?"_

"_Alexandra," Joe answered, knowing that Doris McGarrett would soon be angry with him, too. "Your mother doesn't know about her. She doesn't know you're a dad."_

"_Joe…"_

"_Do you know how many times over the last twenty years that your Mom expressed wanting to be a grandmother?" Joe asked rhetorically. "How many times she asked me if you or Mary had any kids? How often she expressed wishing that things were different so that she could be a grandmother?" Joe shook his head, glancing off in the distance where Doris was waiting to board the boat that would take them to the small airfield where they would catch a flight to Tokyo. "If she knew about your daughter, she would have come out of hiding years ago and all of you would have been in danger. You and Mary, your parents, Alexandra; all of you would have been murdered." _

As the plane continued its' descent, he sighed. As angry as he was with Joe, it did make him feel good that his daughter's existence had been kept out of this. It was going to be hard enough to explain everything to Alex. It would be even worse for her if her grandmother entered the picture already knowing everything about her. As it was, he had a feeling that his daughter would not take too kindly to the news of Doris still being alive.

When they had landed, they were greeted by Danny and, much to Steve's surprise, a slew of heavily armed HPD officers.

"On the phone you said you were bringing Shelburne back," Danny said in lieu of the traditional 'welcome home' greeting.

"Yeah," Steve said, using his thumb to point behind him at Doris. "This is Shelburne."

"You can call me Mom," Doris said, stepping in place beside her son. "Someone should."

"Mom?" Danny asked, looking at Steve with confusion. "Whose Mom?"

"That would be mine," Steve said nonchalantly.

"Doris McGarrett," Doris said, sticking her hand out to shake Danny's.

"Danny Williams," he returned, shaking her hand even though his eyes were focused on Steve. He looked back and forth between the two, dropping her hand. "You know, for a woman who died in a car bomb twenty years ago, you are remarkably well put together."

"Thank you," Doris said, "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Sorry to interrupt here, Danno," Steve said, stepping between the two with his hands elevated to about chest level. "I appreciate the homecoming but what's with the police presence?" His eyes scanned around the hanger, mentally counting the number of armed officers present. "You didn't have to go through all this trouble."

"This is not for you," Danny replied. His hands gesturing towards Doris, he explained, "It's for Shelburne."

Doris looked confused. "Why me?"

"Wo Fat escaped."

Disbelief clouded Steve's features. "What are you talking about? When?"

"Two hours ago."

"Steve, if he finds out I'm on this island –"

He interrupted her. "That's not gonna happen. We're gonna put you someplace safe." He glanced at Danny. "We're going to hunt down Wo Fat." He turned and faced Danny. "Call Chin and Kono and have them meet us at the Palace." Danny shifted uncomfortably, a nonverbal cue that something had happened. "What? What is it?"

"There's something else you need to know," Danny replied, sad memories resurfacing. Steve's eyes asked the question for him. "Malia… she's dead. She was killed."

Steve's mouth dropped open in shock. "Malia's dead? What?"

With a glance at Doris, Danny explained, "Delano had her murdered. He had Kono kidnapped as well and…" he trailed off. "Kono's okay but Chin. He…"

"Where is he now?"

* * *

"Son of a bitch!" Steve exclaimed, throwing his Bluetooth device into the center console of the Camaro. "He wants a full inquiry into the Delano release!"

"Steven," Doris scolded.

"I'm sorry," Steve apologized.

From the backseat, Danny piped up, irritation still present from his conversation with Doris from seconds earlier. "Oh, yeah, watch your mouth, Steven."

"That goes for you, too, Smart Ass," Doris said, turning around in the passenger seat to face him.

With a smirk, Steve turned around in his seat to look at Danny. Danny made an action with his fingers, indicating that he was zipping his lips, and sat back in the seat.

"Okay, so," Doris said, facing forward again. "what's the game plan?"

"We find Delano and Wo Fat," Steve stated.

Doris just looked at her son. "Where do we start?"

"You don't start anywhere," Steve replied. "Doris, you're on ice until this blows over."

"I survived two assassination attempts by the PLO," Doris argued. "I think I can handle this."

"I understand that," Steve said, "but I'm not going to risk losing you again." Diverting his eyes to look in the side mirror, he added, "You're going someplace safe and I have the perfect person to make sure you stay put."

Doris sighed; there was no arguing with her son. "Okay, fine. So who's Alex?"

"What?" Steve asked, catching Danny's eyes in the rearview mirror. One look was all it took for Danny to realize that Doris was not aware that her son was a father.

"Alex," Doris repeated. "Before you called the governor, there was a missed call on your phone from someone named Alex. Who is Alex?"

Steve sighed; now was not the time or the place to have this conversation. "Let's just focus on getting you to the safe house. Okay?"

* * *

Seeing Catherine's beautiful face when he opened the front door of the safe house served as an immediate sense of calm and reassurance. He gave her a smile and then glanced back at the woman inside of the house before stepping onto the porch with Catherine. Leaving the door open, they took a few steps and, lowering his voice, he said, "Thanks for coming."

"Thanks for calling." Catherine looked through the open door and at the woman who was Steve's mother. "So, uh, your mom faked her own death and she's Shelburne." Steve sighed. "Well, if you didn't have mommy issues before…"

Steve smiled at her, giving into an eye roll. "Thank you."

Catherine laughed. "I try."

With a nod towards the house, Steve said, "Come on. I'll introduce you." He followed Catherine into the house where, upon entering, he said, "Doris." Stepping in front of Catherine, he pointed behind him and said, "This is Lieutenant Rollins. She's on leave from Naval Intelligence."

"He refuses to call me Mom," Doris said, shaking Catherine's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Ma'am," Catherine returned.

"Lieutenant Rollins," Doris said, crossing her arms in front of her. "I told my son I didn't need anyone to look out for me."

"Oh," Catherine said, looking at Steve. "He's just being over-protective, Ma'am. It's a SEAL thing." Smiling, she added, "Please call me Catherine."

Doris nodded. Then, glancing at Steve and then back at Catherine, she inquired. "What does my son call you?"

Sparing Catherine the need to answer, Steve explained, "Former intelligence agent; needs to know everything."

"Unless it's apparent," Doris rebutted, noting her son's obvious discomfort when she did. With a smile at Catherine, Doris asked, "Catherine, would you like some tea? I was just going to make myself a cup."

"That would be great," Catherine replied with a glance towards Steve. "Thank you."

Doris looked at her son. "You?"

"I'll pass."

Once Doris exited the room and was out of earshot, Catherine observed, "She's something."

"Yeah," Steve agreed, taking a step closer to her and scratching his arm. Crossing his arms in front of her, he looked at her, gazing into her eyes.

"So, have you told your sister yet? Or Alex?"

"Uh, no," Steve answered, looking in the direction of the kitchen. "I don't really feel like I can tell Mary this one over the phone." With a sigh, he added, "And, as for Alex, I don't even know how to tell her." He lowered his voice, not wanting his mother to overhear in case her "spy ears" were listening. "Where is she, by the way?"

"I dropped her and the boys at Schofield as soon as I learned about Wo Fat's escape," Catherine told him. "I got a hold of Jason earlier and explained everything. His flight landed twenty minutes ago and he's going to take her home with them." Sensing his concern, she added, "She's safe, Steve."

Steve nodded, expelling a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "Doris doesn't know about her."

It was a good thing he had opted to keep his voice lowered because, at that moment, Doris stuck her head into the living room. "Milk and sugar, okay?"

"Uh, yeah," Catherine said, turning her head to look at Doris. "Sounds perfect."

"Cath," Steve said, drawing her attention back to him. "Listen, I gotta go." He uncrossed his arms to touch hers. "Keep the doors locked. SWAT is right outside if you need anything."

"Listen," she said, placing both of her hands on his chest. "I am going to look after her like she's my own mother." Seeing the look on his face, she apologized. "That came out wrong."

"I didn't think so," he told her, giving her a smile that made her wonder if the idea of making her more than just his girlfriend had ever crossed his mind.

She'd be lying if she said it never had crossed hers. When she thought about home, Steve and Alex were it. Once he left – he had opted to not kiss her goodbye – she prepared herself to deal with his mother, reminding herself that, based on Steve's earlier comment, she was not to discuss Alex, or even the fact that Steve was a father, with Doris.

* * *

Headed to the Sullivan's to pick up his daughter, Steve reflected on how the rest of the day had gone. After leaving the safe house earlier, he had learned from the members of his team that Frank Delano had been the one to help Wo Fat escape from prison. It had made absolutely no sense why the two were working together and there had been no clues to suggest that they had known each other before that morning. There had been video footage of both men climbing into a blue minivan; he had assigned Chin and Kono the task of trying to locate the van using a partial plate number and signs that it had been in an auto accident.

Later, he had called Kamekona, asking him to deliver some shrimp to the safe house. He had explained everything to Kamekona – his mother having faked her death; her being on the island – and had emphasized that, under no conditions, should there be any mention of him being a dad or of Alex. That conversation could occur only _after_ Alex knew about her grandmother and Doris knew about her granddaughter. Then, he had arrived at Headquarters, where, while Chin and Kono were still in Chin's office searching for information on the van, Danny had told him all about last night and how Catherine and all three kids had been at the hospital when the news of Malia's death had been announced. Before he had even got the chance to call his daughter and check on her, Chin and Kono had appeared, letting him know that they had found a match between the partial tag and the owner.

Upon entering the owner's home, they had discovered five dead bodies of an entire construction crew. After speaking to the foreman of the construction crew, Kono had learned that the same guys – as in, the same _dead_ guys – had just clocked in at another construction site: HPD. Upon arrival at HPD, they had learned that the renovation crew had requested to begin work in the basement and, according to Duke Lukela, the narcotics room was full of a thousand pounds of methamphetamines that had been taken into police custody after an ICE bust weeks earlier. Delano and his men had been gone by the time they had arrived at the narcotics locker; their truck had been gone by the time they had reached the loading docks. Duke had located the truck quickly using traffic cameras; they were stuck at the intersection of Ala Moana and Atkinson due to a traffic collision. After a highly dangerous shootout in the middle of the street that resulted in the deaths of all of Delano's crewmembers including Delano himself who Chin had pursued into a parking garage two blocks away, they had discovered that Wo Fat was on his way to kill Shelburne. He had immediately called Catherine, warning her of the threat and telling her to secure the perimeter. Then, he had rushed to the safe house with HPD as backup, arriving there to find his mother and Catherine in an upstairs bedroom, safe but scared to death. Wo Fat had, of course, managed to escape.

That had all taken place hours ago. Twenty minutes ago he had put his mother on a plane, instructing her to pick anywhere in the world and fly there; he wanted her safe and away from Wo Fat. He had promised to come find her as soon as Wo Fat was out of the picture. She had hugged him tearfully, apologizing for all of the pain and secrets. Before she had boarded the plane, she had said something to him that was so similar to something he had once told Alex: that, even though she wasn't around, she had never stopped loving him. That moment had, once again, provided so much clarity and validation. That moment had made him understand his daughter, and everything she had felt at one point, in a way that he never had been able to before. Of course, the peacefulness he had felt in that moment had been shattered when Danny, arriving at the air hanger in his car, told him that ballistics proved that his mother had lied about having exchanged gunfire with Wo Fat at the safe house. Instead, crime scene investigators and ballistics determined that only one weapon, the one Catherine had provided Doris, had been fired in the bedroom. All three bullets had been fired directly into the floor.

Now, as he pulled up to the curb right in front of the Sullivan house, the only thought on his mind was how to tell his daughter about Doris. He feared that it would only trigger an outburst of emotions or that it would spark confusion. Yet, he knew he had to tell her. His mother still being alive not only affected him and Mary, it affected her, too. With a calming sigh, he turned off the truck, unbuckled his seatbelt, and got out of the vehicle. He made his way up the front walkway, knocking on the door when he reached it. A curtain in the living room window moved briefly and then, suddenly, the door was being thrown open and his daughter's arms were wrapped around him.

The two of them just stood there embracing; Alex, clearly, needed to feel his warmth and love. He looked into the house, nodding a grateful 'thank you' to Jason, before Alex stepped back. Looking at him, she asked, "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

_How right you are, Sweetheart._ He took a deep breath before expelling the air loudly. "There's something I need to tell you."

* * *

**A/N: I know that in the episode, we saw that Malia died at home on her kitchen floor. In this chapter, she died the same way yet, in Chin's grief, I made it that Danny ended up being confused about whether or not Malia was still alive and on the way to the hospital. **

**Also, I know that in canon Doris was believed to have been a teacher. Yet, in part 1 of my story, I made Doris a nurse… that is why I changed that line in this story. And, yes, I'm also aware that the show did not give us a conversation between Joe and Steve after the big reveal but I thought it was important to add here. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has decided to follow this story and/or added it to your favorites. I've noticed that with each part of this story, the number of individual viewers increases… that is so awesome! Over 250 visitors have read the first chapter of this installment. One day I hope that more of you will drop in and leave a review…or even just a comment to say 'hi'! I really appreciate all of you!**

**Specific thanks to:**

**Craftygirl11 – So sorry I had to kill Malia off. I wish I could have found another way to approach that plot but it is really important to me that I remain as true to canon as possible. (Yes, I know that Steve having a child is totally **_**non-canonical**_**)! I'm glad you enjoyed the conversation between Joe and Steve. I thought it was important, especially with the added element of Steve having a daughter, that they have that conversation before Joe departs for wherever he went in the show. Plus, I think it redeems Joe a little in Steve's eyes.**

**Pinkphoenix1985 – Thank you. I thought it was important to incorporate that first conversation between Steve and Doris as it was such an essential scene. Steve tells Alex in this chapter… hope the way it's written is enjoyable, plausible, and understandable. **

**FicreaderT – Thanks! I hope this third installment remains as enjoyable as the other two have been for you. **

**Sunny irish – Haha, you are so right. Alex is not going to take too well to her grandmother being alive and, oh, just you wait until Doris moves in ;) **

**Pat toby – Thank you! Hope your Christmas was great. Happy New Year!**

**Angel – Thanks! I already know the moment when Doris will find out about Alex. **** Hope you enjoy it when that happens. Steve, Cath, and Alex's relationship will continue to grow as will Josh and Alex's! **

**HBSpud – Thanks! Hope you continue to enjoy the story!**

**Narwhayley – Thank you. I thought it was important to use many canonical elements in that chapter and try to fit Alex in them somehow. I absolutely hate that Chin had to lose Malia **** Thanks for your loyalty to this story!**

* * *

"Listen, Sweetheart," Steve said, his arm draped around his daughter's shoulders as they sat down on the front step of the Sullivan house. Anchor, who had joined them on the porch once he had realized it was Steve who had knocked on the door, took a seat at Steve's feet. "This might not be easy for you to hear." _Sure as hell wasn't for me._

"Is it about Shelburne?" She knew him well enough to know that the haunted look in his eyes wasn't due to Malia's death. Something else was the cause, something even more personal than his good friend and co-worker having just lost his wife.

Steve nodded. "Yes, it's about Shelburne." He expelled a breath as he ran a tremulous hand through his hair. Ever since that moment when his mother had opened the door, he had wondered how he would tell Alex about everything. Now, after the last twenty hours, he realized that nothing would lessen the blow. Regardless of whatever words he chose to use were, the shocking reality of the truth, with all of the resulting implications of that truth, would, more than likely, be hard for his daughter to stomach. He expelled another breath. "As you know, Joe took me to meet Shelburne." Alex nodded, keeping her eyes locked with his. "And, well, it turns out that Shelburne is someone I used to know."

"Really?" Alex asked as her mind began to race with all of the possibilities. "One of your SEAL buddies? Or one of Commander White's friends?"

"No," he replied, shaking his head. He took a deep breath and exhaled. "Shelburne is someone who I thought had died a long time ago." A confused look in his daughter's eye, he explained, "She, uh –"

"She?" Alex asked, interrupting him. "Shelburne is a she?" That eliminated all of the possibilities in her mind.

"Yes," Steve said, covering one of her hands with his. "Shelburne is a woman who was supposed to have died twenty years ago." He watched as understanding started to fill her eyes. "Shelburne is my mom."

"Your – your—your Mom?" Alex asked, her eyes leaving his as they scanned the front lawn as if the fresh cut grass would provide her the clarity and understanding she was searching for. "But… but she died and –"

"She faked her death, Sweetheart."

Alex shook her head. "No. That doesn't make any sense."

Oh, how he hated the sound of anguish in her voice. "It's the truth, Alex. She –" And then his heart broke when she put all of the pieces together.

"But if she's alive," Alex interrupted. "That means she walked out on you and Mary just like Mom left me. And, if she's alive, that means Grandpa sent you away for nothing. If she's alive, then he wasted all that time trying to find her killer when he could've continued being your dad." With a slump in her shoulders, she continued, "If she's really alive, Grandpa..." She trailed off, adding quietly to herself, _got killed for nothing. He didn't have to die._

"I know, Sweetheart," he said, putting his arm around her again and pulling her close. He placed a kiss on the top of her head, leaving his chin resting gently there for several minutes. "You wanna tell me what you're feeling right now?"

She shook her head, dislodging it from under his head. "I'm not ready to talk about my feelings just yet."

"Okay," Steve said, having not expected any different. "I can respect that." He relaxed, resting his elbows lazily on his knees.

"Thanks," Alex said, giving him a grateful smile. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"I remember how confused I was when Mom came back." She shrugged. She also remembered the hurt of knowing how different things could have been – she would never have doubted her dad's love; she could have spent more of her childhood with him – if her mom had only told the truth. She remembered those moments of self-doubt when she would find herself wondering what she had done to cause her mom to walk out of her life. Now, unfortunately, her dad had to experience those same realities, those same emotions. Maybe it even was worse for him than it had been for her. He had been tricked into thinking his mother had died whereas her mom had, at least, had the guts to look her in the eye and tell her she couldn't be her mom anymore. "I bet you're feeling just as shitty as I did."

"Language!"

"Sorry," Alex said with an unapologetic tone. "_Crappy_. I meant that you're probably feeling just as _crappy_ as I did."

"Honestly, Sweetheart," he replied, running a hand across his exhausted eyes. "I'm not quite sure what I'm feeling right now. I –"

"Mr. McGarrett! Alex!" Sam's voice rang out as he stepped onto the front porch from inside of the house. Meeting their eyes when they both turned around to look at them, he continued, "My Dad wants to know if you would like to stay for lunch. He's making burgers on the grill."

"Sam!" Josh said loudly as he joined his brother on the porch. "Dad told you to ask them when they _finished_ talking. He didn't say it was okay for you to interrupt them." Turning his attention to the McGarrett's, Josh continued, "Sorry, Sir. I think Sam –"

"It's okay," Steve interrupted as he rubbed his hand along Anchor's back. "You want to stay here for lunch or go grab some shrimp?" Her answer reminded him that, right now, everything going on with his mom was the least of his worries right now; he still had legitimate reasons to be concerned about his daughter's relationship with Josh.

With a smile in Josh's direction, Alex answered, "I'm good with staying here."

"I'll go tell my Dad!" Sam exclaimed, nudging Josh accidentally with his shoulder as he headed back inside.

"You okay?" Josh asked Alex. When she nodded that she was, he said, "Okay. I'll see you inside then."

Once the front door was closed again, Steve said, "You and I are going to have another talk about your relationship with Josh."

Alex rolled her eyes. "There's nothing to talk about, Dad."

He gave her a look that told her he wasn't buying it. "Are you kidding me? You turned down shrimp."

Alex shrugged. "So?"

Steve sighed and shook his head. Regardless of whatever his daughter told him, he knew there was more to her relationship with Josh than either kid would ever admit to. He just hoped that the next year – she would turn sixteen in just over eleven months – would go by much slower than the past year had but, even then, he wasn't sure he would be ready for her to start dating. Sometimes, in moments like now, in times like these, he wished he had a remote control for life and that he could push a pause button. His mother's return reminded him of just how fast life moved; some days it was so hard to believe that twenty years had passed since her "death". Now, his daughter was growing up far too quickly. "What?" he asked as he got to his feet. He had been aware that she was speaking but had not heard a single word of what she said.

"Is it okay if I tell Josh?"

"About Shelburne?"

Alex nodded. "He pretty much knows everything already anyway." One day, several months ago, Josh had witnessed yet another one of her panic attacks. After it had ended – after her breathing returned to normal and her hands stopped shaking – she had opened up to him even more about her kidnapping. He had already known that she had been held in a cabin and that she had spent the night in the jungle. What he hadn't known, up until that day, was anything about the men who had taken her or their reasons for doing so. That conversation had led to her telling him about Wo Fat and all of the damage the man had caused to not only her family but other families, too. He was the only one of her friends, which included Brian and Alyssa, who knew about Wo Fat and the mysterious Shelburne.

That was news to him; he had not realized that Alex had told Josh anything about Shelburne. Yet it did not really surprise him considering how close the two had become. Since Josh already knew about Shelburne, it wouldn't cause any damage for him to know Shelburne's true identity. Plus, if his gut instincts were right, Josh would still be in Alex's life on the day that Doris returned to Hawaii… even if that day ended up being several years from now. He nodded. "Yes, it's okay for you to tell him."

* * *

Late that night, when he went to check on Alex before heading to bed, he found her in a deep sleep on top of the covers. Carefully and gently he had lifted her legs, managing to tuck her in without rousing her. Moving over to the nightstand in order to turn off the lamp, he had stopped dead in his tracks when he had spotted his father's dog tags draped over that well-worn photo from their camping trip seven years earlier. He had studied his daughter's sleeping face for any sign that she had cried herself to sleep. Her face had revealed nothing yet the location of the dog tags and picture pretty much confirmed that feeling deep in his gut that she had; he wondered if it was something triggered by his mother being alive or if it still was something that occurred regularly. He had flipped off the light and then left her room.

Two hours later, he was still fighting insomnia when he heard a light knock on the open door of his bedroom. "Dad?" Alex's soft voice said. "Are you awake?"

He moved his arm from where it was draped over his eyes. "Yes." He scooted his head further up on the pillow to look at her. He noticed that she had changed into one of his t-shirts. "What's up?"

"I can't sleep," she answered, shifting nervously as she stood in the doorway. "Can we talk?"

"Of course we can," he replied, sitting up and adjusting the pillow behind his back. He smiled at her as she stepped into the room and made her way towards the bed. They had come such a long way from where they had been a year ago; now she wasn't afraid of letting him know when her insomnia struck.

She climbed onto Catherine's side of the bed, sliding right up next to him so that her arm touched his. She sat with her back against the headboard and legs under the comforter; the pillow was moved to her lap. When she didn't say anything after several minutes, he said, "So…"

Alex sighed. "Are you and Catherine fighting? Are you mad at her?"

"Fighting? Why –"

"She's not here," Alex interrupted, her eyes cast downward so they focused on the pillow. "And she –"

"No," Steve told her, placing a hand over her fidgeting ones to calm them. "We are not fighting and I'm not mad at her." He gave her hands a slight squeeze to get her to look at him. "Why would I be?"

Alex shrugged. "Maybe because she took us to the hospital and you didn't like that we were there when…" she trailed off, tearing her eyes from his as she blinked away the tears that were beginning to form.

"Catherine told me everything," he told her, placing a finger under her chin and directing her face to look at him again. "She told me about Danny's phone call and, from the sounds of it, you and Josh were pretty adamant about wanting to go to the hospital."

"Malia's dead, Dad."

"I know, Sweetheart, I –"

"No!" Alex said, as a tear rolled down each of her cheeks. "You weren't there. You didn't see Chin. He was broken, Dad!"

_He still is_, Steve thought to himself as he held his daughter against him. The Chin he had seen at the ME's office and who he had worked with during the hunt for Delano and Wo Fat was a man Steve had barely recognized. He had looked so lost and haunted. Not that anyone could blame him; his anguish and heartache were understandable.

"I'm sorry," Alex said, pulling back from him and wiping her eyes with her hand. "It's just… Chin and Malia didn't deserve this. They were so happy."

It wasn't until nearly an hour later that Alex had finally brought up the subject of her grandmother. Up until that point they had talked about the memorial service for Malia – since Alex's four-week summer Japanese intensive course was scheduled for the afternoons, she would be able to attend – and Kono's near death experience as well as the possible custody battle over Grace. They both were concerned about all of those significant things; they hated that every single person of their ohana was going through a rough time. They both just hoped that, with support and love, everyone would come out on top.

Then, with a sudden change of topic, Alex had started talking about her plans for donating the money to Denise for the new shelter in Seattle. He had promised her before he left for Japan that they would discuss it and, after listening to her list everything she had discussed with Denise on the phone earlier that day, he again promised to sit down with her and write everything out on paper. He made a mental note to himself that he would probably need to fly him and Alex out to Seattle for a few days in order to sit down with Denise to solidify plans and to deliver the check. He wasn't even sure Alex had considered the idea that she might need to return to the city that she had last left with heartache and tears. He would discuss that with her tomorrow, during their father-daughter date.

"Are you sure she's your Mom?" Her second sudden change of topic had surprised him but not more than her question had. "I mean, are you _really_ sure?"

Steve nodded. "Yes, Sweetheart." It wasn't like anyone could ever forget their mother's face, even after twenty years. "Shelburne is my Mom."

"Why did Commander White help her fake her death? _Why_ did she pretend to be dead?"

He spent the next five minutes telling everything he knew about Shelburne. He told her about his mother having been a spy and how Wo Fat's father had been one of her assignments. He told her that his mother had ended up killing Wo Fat's father – he couldn't provide Alex any of the details that she wanted to know – and that, in order to protect her family, she resorted to faking her death. He told her that Joe had helped Doris – his many trips to Japan were to check on or relocate her – also in an attempt to keep the rest of the McGarrett family, Alex included, safe. He told her that Joe had kept Doris informed about his time at Annapolis and his Navy career. As he talked he could see the anger starting to flash in her eyes and, even though he had been expecting it, it left an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach. To make it worse, she refused to tell him about what she was feeling until he told her what he was feeling.

"I'm feeling a lot of things right now," he admitted to her. His daughter was probably the only person apart from Catherine who he could tell these things to. "I imagine it's all of the same things you felt when your Mom came back." When Alex nodded, he continued, "I'm glad she's not really dead and I'm happy that Mary and I will get a second chance with her. Yet, at the same time, I'm hurt and confused. Does that make sense?"

Alex nodded again. "That's exactly what I felt when Mom came back." She shifted so she was sitting Indian style, nudging Steve in the thigh with the bony part of her left knee when she did. "I wanted to scream at her and tell her how mad I was at her for giving me up and for hurting me but, at the same time, I just wanted to hug her and spend time with her and tell her I love her." She shrugged. "I was mad at her but I was also so excited to be with her again."

"Yeah," Steve said, running his fingers through her hair twice before wrapping his arm around her and pressing a kiss to her temple. Her summary of how she had felt when Cindy had returned after relinquishing her parental rights was spot on; it described, at a basic level, what he was currently feeling. Yet it was also so much more than that. He was reminded of a conversation he had had with Danny not long after starting the Five-0 Taskforce. After finding out that his mother had died in a car bomb and not a traffic accident like his father had always told him, he remembered telling Danny that his mother's death had made him into the man he was today. If his mother had never faked her death, his life would have gone in an entirely different direction.

Ever since he had laid eyes on his mom, he had often found himself wishing he could get back all of the lost time. He had found himself wishing time could rewind twenty years and that she had never made the choice to fake her death. As a result, he felt like a terrible father. Even though he never would wish his daughter did not exist – he would never regret the girl sitting next to him on the bed – he knew that, if his mother had never faked her death, he never would have met Cindy. And, because he knew that for a fact, he felt absolutely terrible every time he found himself wishing his mother had never done what she had done. Wishing his mother had never faked her death equated, in his mind, to wishing his daughter had never been born. That contradiction, that conflict, only added to the turmoil he found himself to currently be experiencing.

"Does she want to meet me?"

Alex's question kept him from falling any deeper into self-beratement and guilt. "Joe never told her about you," he answered. "And I haven't told her yet either."

It didn't make any sense to her that Joe had not mentioned her existence especially since he had kept Doris informed about her dad's every move. "She doesn't know about me?"

Steve shook his head. "No, she doesn't. Joe felt it was best that she not know plus he wanted to keep you safe."

If her dad's comment about Joe wanting to keep her safe was supposed to redeem the man in her eyes, it didn't. If anything, it just added to her dislike of him even more; for someone who was supposed to have been best friends with her grandfather, she felt that it was extremely wrong of him to help her grandmother fake her death. He had known years ago that her grandfather was relentlessly searching for the man responsible for Doris' death yet Commander White had looked him in the eye on numerous occasions and lied to him. It just reconfirmed that her gut instinct about Commander White being a distrustful, secretive liar had always been correct. "Do I have to meet her?" Her question was coupled with the uncomfortable fidgeting of her fingers on top of the pillow.

Hearing a sense of dread in her tone, he said, "Well, she's not in Hawaii anymore but, when she does come back then, yes, at some point, you will have to meet her."

"She's not in Hawaii?"

He shook his head. "I put her on a plane right before I drove to the Sullivan's." He sensed her next question. "And, no, I don't know where she went. The only people who know that are her handlers."

"How long until she'll be back?"

He placed a hand over hers, pressing down lightly on them until they relaxed. "Look at me, Alex." When she did, he ignored her question and, instead, addressed the underlying issue. "You don't want to meet her, do you?"

She shrugged even though his statement was accurate. But how was she supposed to tell her Dad that her gut instinct about Doris made her not want to have anything to do with her? How could she hurt him with that piece of information?

"You can be honest with me, Sweetheart."

She expelled a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. "I don't want to hurt you, Dad."

"You won't, Sweetheart," he assured her. He was fairly certain that he could predict what thoughts were going through her mind right now. Still, he knew it was important that she be able to vocalize her feelings. "It's important for me to know what you're thinking and feeling. Nothing you tell me right now is going to hurt me."

She expelled another breath. "I don't know if I want to meet her. I know she's your Mom but…" she trailed off, shaking her head.

"But what?"

"I don't like what she did to you and Mary and Grandpa," Alex told him, her eyes cast downward to focus on her dad's hand. "I don't care what she tells you but I don't think anything justifies her actions. She said she faked her death because she wanted to keep all three of you safe but Grandpa still got killed. Because of what she did, Wo Fat tortured you. I'm angry at her." She looked back up at him. "I'm sorry, Dad, but I don't know if I can pretend to be happy that she's alive."

* * *

Wiping his face with a towel, he looked towards the beach at Chin, who was standing staring at the ocean. The amazingly beautiful and touching memorial service for Malia had just finished; Chin had spread her ashes into the water. He could not even imagine the turmoil that his friend was going through right now. It hurt to see Chin so damaged.

"How do you recover from something like that?" Catherine asked him from where she was standing on his right side.

He used the towel to dry some of his hair and then, with a glance at her, he answered, "You don't." He grabbed his blue t-shirt which he had been draped over the open window of his truck and, putting his arms in it, added, "Cath, I need a favor."

"Of course," she said, leaning back against the truck as she dried off her bare feet.

Turning towards her, he said, "I want your help finding my mother." He put his head through the opening of the shirt and pulled it down so it covered his torso.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I thought you told me for the best protection you wanted her location kept secret, even from you." She really did not understand his sudden change of heart.

He leaned against the truck, using his right forearm for support. "Yeah, I did," he said, nodding. "But that was before I found out that she had a chance to kill Wo Fat and she didn't do it."

"What?" Catherine asked, her confusion evident on her face. "I don't understand. Why would she do that?"

"I don't know," he answered, shaking his head. "Crime lab said she intentionally fired her weapon into the floor."

Pulling her shirt over her head, Catherine commented, "She didn't want him hurt."

"She let him escape and I want to know why," he replied, turning around and running the towel through his hair again.

"If you don't like the answer?"

"I can handle the truth."

"This is your mother we're talking about, Steve," Catherine reminded him. She was afraid of what would happen if the truth turned out being even more shocking than the fact that Doris had faked her own death.

"Catherine," he argued, his voice rising in volume slightly. "It's not going to prevent me from doing my job, okay?" Seeing that she was uncomfortable with the whole situation, he placed a hand on her arm and asked, "Look, will you do it? Will you help me?"

"You'll owe me," she said, her voice changing tones.

"What else is new?" He gave into a smile. "Add it to my tab." Looking over Catherine's shoulder, he was distracted by the sight of his daughter – she was still wearing the two-piece bikini that she was only wearing because she and Catherine had convinced him to allow her to wear to the service – and Josh, engaged in what appeared to be a pretty aggressive conversation with three older teenage boys. Whatever was going on, his gut told him he needed to intervene. "What the hell?"

He moved past Catherine; she fell into step next to him. When they were within ten feet of the group, they heard Josh yell, "Show her some respect!" That was when one of the other boys – Steve guessed he was the ringleader of the trio – stepped forward, bumping chests with Josh before taking on an aggressive, poised-to-fight stance.

"What seems to be the problem here?" Steve asked, reaching them.

"No problem," the native Hawaiian teenager replied, his eyes laser focused on Josh. "Other than this punk here seems to think he can tell me what to say and who to say it to."

"Yeah?" Josh said, not willing to back down even if the boy's fist flew towards him. "Well, why don't you tell her _dad_ what you just said to her and see what he has to say about it?" That got the teen's attention. He blinked and then glanced at Steve. When he saw the facial similarities between Alex and Steve, he backed up, turned around, and took off on his skateboard with his friends.

"What the hell was that about?" Steve asked. "And I thought I told you to get dressed." Just because he had allowed her to wear a two-piece to the memorial did not mean he had given her permission to walk around nearly naked afterwards.

"Josh and I were talking about something," Alex said, ignoring his question.

"And you couldn't do that while you were putting your clothes on over –"

"I'm going, okay?" She interrupted, pushing past him with her clothes in hand, intentionally knocking him out of the way with her elbow.

Steve turned his attention to Josh. "What just happened that made her so upset?"

"That's not why she's upset," Josh said, his eyes trailing Alex as she climbed into her dad's truck. He looked at Steve – he had grown so much in the last few months that he was nearly tall enough to look Steve eye-to-eye – and said, "He said something that was totally inappropriate but I won't repeat it." He shrugged. "I'm sure she was offended by it but that's not why she's upset." Alex had been right when she had told him that her dad had forgotten all about what day it was. As if saying goodbye to Malia hadn't been hard enough, things were even more emotional for Alex considering what day it was. His eye caught something over Steve's shoulder. "There's my Dad." He bent down and picked up his t-shirt and towel that he had dropped there a few minutes ago. "See you when I get back next week, Sir."

"Oh, that's right," Steve said, remembering that the Sullivan's would be spending the week in New York. "You're headed to West Point."

"Yes, Sir," Josh said, an excited grin appearing on his face. "I'm going to go say bye to Alex real quick. Take care, Lieutenant Rollins, Mr. McGarrett."

"See ya, Josh," they both returned. Before Steve started walking away, Catherine placed a hand on his arm. "What's going on with your daughter?"

Steve shrugged. "I don't know. Let's just go to brunch and maybe she'll tell me."

* * *

"So," Steve said as he drove them to the Wailana Coffee House. "That boy said something inappropriate to you." When she didn't answer, he said, "Alex?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," she replied snarkily. "I didn't know that was a question."

Steve expelled a frustrated breath and glanced at Catherine. "What did he say?"

"It was inappropriate," Alex answered, looking out the side window from the backseat where she was seated. "Therefore, I'm not going to repeat it, especially to you."

"Why not?"

"Because if you knew what he had said, you would've chased him down and beat the crap out of him."

"It was that offensive?" Catherine asked, turning in the front passenger seat to look at the teenager.

Before Alex even had a chance to answer, Steve made a comment that, had he been thinking, he would have known would start an argument. "Did it have to do with the fact that you were wearing something I never really approved of?"

Two sets of female eyes glared at him. Alex was the first of the two to speak. "Why are you so obsessed with what I wear?"

Stopping on the street just before the parking garage – the traffic was backed up getting into the garage – Steve replied, "Because you are _fifteen_ years old and –"

"I could have been wearing a garbage bag and he still would have been offensive," Alex interrupted, her eyes flashing with anger. "He clearly was never taught how to be respectful of women." She took off her seatbelt and opened the door. "It's not my fault that he said what he did so stop blaming everything on me." She hopped out of the truck.

"Alex!" Steve and Catherine both exclaimed.

"I'll just go get us a table," Alex muttered, slamming the door closed and heading towards the entrance to the restaurant.

As Steve turned into the parking garage, Catherine sarcastically aid, "Well you handled that well."

"What?" His tone told her that he was in disbelief at her comment.

"Seriously, Steve?" she said, shaking her head. "Instead of trying to figure out why she's really upset you go ahead and take the opportunity to, once again, argue your opinion on the style of swimsuit she wears?" He pulled into a parking spot and she took off her seatbelt. "You could have handled that a lot better."

* * *

"Excuse me," Steve said, setting down his beer and wiping his mouth with the napkin. He stood up from his seat at a dining table at the Hilton Hawaiian Village and walked through the dining area towards Catherine. "Hey," he greeted. "What's up?"

"I bypassed WITSEC like you asked," Catherine told him. The look on her face told him she did not really have good news to report.

"Where is she?"

"She's here," Catherine told him, still in disbelief herself that Doris had never left the island.

"What do you mean she's here?" Steve asked, his eyebrows hunched together in confusion.

"Your mother's on Oahu, Steve," Catherine explained.

"She came back?"

"No," Catherine replied, shaking her head. "She had the plane turn around right after takeoff. She never even left the island." Seeing the distressed look on his face, she gave him a few moments to consider her words. She looked towards the table that he had just vacated. Spotting Alex's backpack on the floor near one of the chairs but no Alex, she asked, "Where's Alex?"

"On the beach brooding," he replied, expelling a breath laced with confusion and concern.

"She's still mad about this morning?" That morning, she and Steve had met Alex in the foyer of the Wailana Coffee House and, after a ten minute wait during which Alex had refused to talk to her dad, they had been seated at a table near the windows. Instead of talking to Steve, Alex had pulled out her cell phone to text; that had lasted only five minutes before Steve had reached across the table and ripped the phone out of her hands. That had added fuel to the fire and Catherine had been forced to put a stop to not one but two arguments before the entire restaurant overheard the McGarrett's arguing. Once they had received their food, Alex had eaten completely in silence with the exception of requesting she be dropped off early at her school for the first afternoon of her intensive Japanese course. As Steve was paying their bill, his phone had rung with news of a new case. He had dropped them off at Catherine's house – it was closer than Alex's school – and then Catherine had driven Alex to campus. She had tried to find out what was bothering the teenager – she had been moody even _before_ the memorial service – but the only thing Alex would tell her is that her dad should already know what was wrong.

Steve shrugged. "Hell if I know. She's giving me the silent treatment." After rescuing Karen, the kidnapped girl from that day's armed robbery/stolen artwork case, he had picked Alex up at her school. He had inquired as to how her first day of the summer intensive class went. All she had said to him was that it had gone fine and then told him she needed to listen to a Japanese audio program that her teacher had them all download. With that, she had pulled out her iPod and ear buds and had not said another word to him all evening.

"How about I go talk to her?" Catherine suggested, sensing that Steve needed some time away from his daughter. "I'll offer to take her back to your place. It'll give you a chance to hang out with your team without having to worry about her attitude."

Steve smiled, touching her affectionately on the arm and kissing her on the cheek. "That would be great. Thank you."

Catherine followed him back to the table and, after saying hello to everyone seated there, she headed out to the beach, spotting Alex standing near the tide. "Hey," she greeted as she got closer to her. Alex was writing something in the sand using a long stick.

"Hi," Alex said, her voice sounding strangely haunted and distant. "Did my Dad send you to check on me?" Her body language, coupled with her voice, caused Catherine to stop where she was. She knew both McGarrett's well enough to know when they needed physical space. She would not get any closer to her until Alex gave her a sign that it was okay to do so.

"No," Catherine replied, "I offered." When Alex turned to look at her, she shrugged. "I figured you might want to head home sooner rather than later. I can take you home so that you don't have to endure another ride with your Dad."

Alex sighed and returned her attention to whatever she was writing in the sand. "He thinks I'm upset because what that boy said to me this morning."

"What are you upset about?"

"He should know," Alex said, tossing the stick into the water. "He loved her, too, at one point."

The tearful sound of her voice told Catherine it was okay to approach her. Reaching her, Catherine looked down at the sand and, as a result of what was written there, she quickly embraced the teenager. "Oh, honey, I had no idea."

Her arms around the teenager, she kept her eyes on the three words in the sand: _Happy Birthday, Mom._

* * *

**A/N: I know that on the show Steve got called to the case while talking to Catherine after the service for Malia. I changed the timeline of him receiving the call in order to fit my storyline. I had different plans for this chapter but the characters had different plans... so, it kind of got away from me. **

**I hope you all have had a wonderful holiday season. Happy New Year! Please be so kind to leave a review on your way out! Mahalo!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Warning for one use of the "F" word and for Steve being frisky. Oh, and also for some references to sex. Clearly, this chapter got away from me… you can thank Steve and Catherine for that. Other than that, this chapter is pretty much all fluff and I found myself laughing throughout the writing of this and during the editing. :) **** And I know we haven't seen canon Steve and Catherine have any fights or even get pissed off at each other but, honestly, that's not a real relationship so, well, you'll see…**

**Thank you to:**

**Pat Toby – Thank you! I'm pretty busy but will try to update as quickly as I can!**

**Lynnrxgal – Thank you! Hope 2013 is great for you!**

**Angel – Thank you! I'm messing with the timeline just a bit. In the show, it was only a matter of weeks before Doris reappeared in Steve's kitchen. For this story, I'm making it a tad bit longer… since it is summer break for Alex and she has a lot going on…it might take a couple of filler chapters before Doris and her meet. **

**Craftygirl11 – Alex is being a moody teenager by giving him the silent treatment. She still struggles with dealing with her emotions in an effective manner. Let's just say that Alex and Doris' initial meeting will be… interesting, LOL. **

**Pinkphoenix1985 – Thanks. I sort of struggled with writing Steve's feelings but I thought it was very important to address it since, like you said, the show did gloss over that. It might take a couple of other chapters before the Doris/Alex meeting… I need to mess with the timeline just a bit. **

**Gear's Girl – Thanks! I appreciate your loyalty to this story. **

* * *

Stepping into his bedroom, he toed off his shoes and stripped down to his boxer briefs. Sliding under the covers, he sidled up next to Catherine, putting an arm around her and nuzzling her neck with his nose before dropping a kiss to the spot that always drove her crazy. She took him by surprise when she pulled away from him and said, "Nope, not tonight."

"What?" He reached for her again, having a need that only she could help him satisfy. He had only drunk a couple of beers at the Hilton; he had hoped the slight buzz would help him to numb the multitude of emotions that he had been experiencing. When that had failed, he had decided to head home, hoping Catherine could help him take his mind off of things another way. When she swatted away his hand and rolled over onto her back, he asked, "Why not?" Without looking, he reached behind him for the TV remote on his nightstand. When his fingers didn't touch it, he switched on the lamp. Now that the room was lit, he noticed that the TV was missing as well. "What the hell happened to my TV?"

"We moved it into Alex's room for the night."

Steve sat up, shaking his head before standing up. "She's not allowed to have a TV in her room, Cath. You know that."

"Hey," she said, still lying down and looking up at him. "Considering what today is, I figured I'd make an exception to that rule."

"What are you talking about?" He lay back down next to her, deciding to test his luck again by pushing his needy lower half against her. When she edged away from him, he sighed.

"Did you do what I told you to?" She was referring to the last thing she had said to him before she had left the Hilton with Alex in tow.

"Well, yeah," Steve said with an exaggerated sigh as he rolled over onto his back. "I went down to the beach right before I left but whatever it was you wanted me to see had already been washed away."

She gave him a look that told him he had screwed up. "Why did you not go when I told you to?"

"Are you really mad at me right now?" he asked her, lifting himself up on one arm and turning to look down at her. What was going on with the women in his personal life? His mother had never left the island, Alex was pissed off at him for some reason only known to her, and now Catherine was mad at him because of some stupid drawing in the sand? What the hell was going on?

"Why do you not listen to me when I tell you something is important?"

Steve sighed. "I'll take that as a 'yes'."

Catherine nodded. "That's why you're not getting any tonight."

Steve shook his head, falling back onto his back. "Fine," he said, knowing her tone well enough to know that he better not try again.

"You know," Catherine said, "it's a good thing your daughter is obsessed with taking pictures." She reached for her phone on the nightstand, pulling up the picture she had snapped earlier before leaving the beach, and showed it to him.

Almost instantaneously, he snapped his head to the right and looked at her. "That's today?" He glanced at the date stamp on his watch. "Fuck." He knew Cindy's birthday would be coming up; yet, with everything that had gone on the last few days, it had just slipped his mind that it was _today_. "Is this why she's been pissed off at me all day?" He handed the phone back to her. "Is this why _you_ are mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you about the date slipping your mind," Catherine told him, setting the phone back on the nightstand. "You've been under a lot of stress lately."

He sensed there was more to her comment. "But?"

"I still think you could've handled things better," she told him gently. She rolled over onto her side so that she was facing him. Running a hand through his hair, she said, "We've talked about this before: yelling at her – like you started to do at brunch – doesn't help the situation any."

"Yeah, well," Steve argued defensively, "when she gets all snarky and pissy and then gives me the silent treatment it doesn't help either." In fact, it actually just infuriated him even more, spurring him to do everything that he had promised Catherine he wouldn't do when it came to communicating with his daughter.

"I know," she said, giving into a nod. "I talked to her about that and she knows she needs to communicate with you instead of ignore you."

Steve wrapped his fingers around her wrist, bringing her hand down to his face so he could kiss her palm. "So, since I won't be able to talk to her until the morning," he said, running a hand up her thigh beginning at her knee while grinning at her lasciviously. He just assumed that his daughter was asleep already. "Why don't you let me figure out a way to get you un-mad at me?"

Catherine shook her head. He was so relentless at times but, this time, not even his adorable sexy smile would work. She placed her hand on top of his and removed it from where it was caressing her thigh. "I don't think so, Sailor." She placed a quick, gentle kiss on his lips. "And she's still awake. That's why the TV is in her room."

With a sigh, he rolled over. Regardless of how determined he could be he knew that he had absolutely _no_ chance of having sex tonight. He stood up and walked over to his dresser, pulling a pair of shorts out of the second drawer and putting them on. Before exiting the room, he walked over to Catherine's side of the bed and, with both hands on either side of her head on the mattress, he leaned down to kiss her. "I still owe you, you know."

"You always owe me," she replied.

"True," he said, returning her smile. He kissed her chastely again. "Thanks for getting the info on my Mom. Love you."

"Love you, too. Now go fix things with your daughter."

* * *

His daughter's bedroom door was only open a crack. Putting his hand on the knob, he started to push it open but stopped when he heard an all too familiar voice. In that moment, his mind transported him back to that day, more than fourteen years ago, that he had recorded on home video and Alex was apparently now watching.

_His hands prepped to grab her in case she fell, he watched as their nine-and-a-half-month-old took her first wobbly step towards Cindy. When he had spoken to Cindy on Tuesday evening, she had told him that Alex had started trying to walk unassisted. She had been standing and moving along the edge of the couch and coffee table for a month and they had both been expecting her to begin walking any day now. On Tuesday, he had just hoped that he wouldn't miss her first steps. _

_He had returned to his classes at the Academy right after the New Year and had been given permission to go home only on the weekends. He would leave the apartment every Monday morning at 0430 so he could get his daily six-mile run in before Reveille at 0630. He would return to the apartment every Friday evening around 1930, after eating the mandatory evening meal with his fellow plebes on campus. He got very little time to spend with Cindy and their daughter so he tried to make the most of his Saturday and Sunday by staying up late every Friday evening, often until one or two in the morning, working on finishing up that week's assignments. He had gotten home last night and, first thing this morning, Alexandra had started trying to walk by herself; he wasn't going to miss her first steps!_

"_C'mon, Alexandra," Cindy said, holding her hands out and urging the girl to come to her. "You can do it!"_

_Alexandra looked down at her feet in amazement. He and Cindy couldn't help but laugh at the expression on her face before they encouraged her to keep going. "Good girl, Alex. Go to mommy." _

_She attempted another step, failing; his hands caught her before she could fall to the floor. He set her upright, allowing her to hold onto his fingers until she regained her balance. "Go get mommy, Sweetheart." Alex took another wobbly step forward, giving into a giggle. Three more wobbly steps and Cindy scooped her up into her arms, placing kisses all over her face. Clapping, Steve joined them, laughing when Alex started clapping her chubby little hands, too. _

"_Da-da," Alex said, reaching her arms out towards him, not realizing she had just shocked her parents by not only taking her first unassisted steps but also by saying her first word. _

_Steve took her from Cindy, hugging her to him while placing a kiss on Cindy's lips. "Walking and her first word?" He placed a kiss on Alex's forehead. "And, yes, baby girl; I'm your daddy." _

He came back to the present when Cindy's laughter and baby Alex's giggles filled the air. He pushed the door open so that it was completely open and stepped inside. Alex was sitting on the floor, her back against the frame of her bed, wrapped in a blanket that had once been Cindy's and with a box of tissues at her feet. Her eyes were riveted to the TV screen, which was now showing another home movie of her being pushed in a baby swing at the park. She picked up the remote and hit pause on the video; it was the only sign she gave of having heard him enter her room. "Go away."

"Alex, I –"

"I don't want you here." Her eyes never left the screen.

_Ouch_. Sometimes she knew exactly what to say to hurt him. To hell with that, though. He'd already screwed up once today, he wouldn't do it again. "Not gonna happen. I'm staying."

Alex sighed. "Fine," she said, swiping the back of her hand across her nose. "You can sit over there. Please don't touch me and don't talk."

* * *

"She finally turned the TV off around three," Steve said, his arms resting on the dining room table, his fingers tapping his coffee mug. He gave into a sigh. "She didn't say anything to me, or even look at me. She just climbed into bed and rolled over to face the wall."

"So you both still require a family mediation," Catherine observed, bringing her mug to her lips and taking a sip.

"I tried, Cath," Steve insisted, sitting back in the chair and staring at the coffee mug. "I wanted to talk to her – I wanted to make things right – but she…" he shook his head. "She was so focused on the home videos. I couldn't…" He trailed off again, this time because of Anchor, who was demanding his attention. The dog's front paws were on Steve's thigh and he was licking Steve's arm. If Anchor was up, that meant Alex was also awake. Sure enough, not even two minutes later, Alex walked past the dining room and into the kitchen; her cell phone was attached to ear. She stepped into the dining room a few minutes later, not acknowledging him or Catherine, carrying a bottle of water, an orange, and a paper towel. She took a seat at the far end of the table, setting all three items down on the table.

"Hold on a sec," she said, taking the phone from her ear and swiping her finger across the screen a few times. She put the phone back to her ear. "Yeah, I got 'em." She picked up the orange and started peeling it, dropping the peels onto the paper towel. "Yeah it is but the Naval Academy is prettier." She broke into a laugh and then suddenly stopped as a blush formed on her cheeks. Glancing up, she saw that both her dad's and Catherine's eyes were on her. "Um, hey, I better go. Let me know how your meeting goes." She smiled again, popping an orange slice into her mouth. "Okay, I will. Bye." She set the phone down on the table, avoiding the looks from the two adults.

"I guess Josh is enjoying West Point." When she didn't reply, Steve gave Catherine an exasperated look.

"Your dad is talking to you, Alex."

"I didn't know I needed to respond," Alex said, opening the bottle of water. "Since, _again_, it wasn't phrased in the form of a question."

"Really, Alex?" Steve said with anger evident in his tone. "You knew perfectly well that I was trying to start a conversation with you."

"If you want to know if Josh is enjoying West Point or not," Alex returned, glaring at him. "Then why don't you ask him? I'm not your –"

Catherine decided she'd had enough. "Okay," she said, grabbing a hold of Steve's t-shirt and pulling him to his feet with her. Then, walking over to the teenager, she did the same thing. "Both of you are coming with me." She clenched her fingers into their t-shirts, tightening her hold on them, ignoring their protests as she led them to the downstairs bathroom. Pushing them both inside, first Alex and then Steve, she sent them both a pointed look. "I love you both but I need some peace and quiet and you two need to work this out." She pulled the door shut behind her and, thanks to the original lock still being on the door, she used the key to lock it from the outside.

"Catherine!"

"Cath!"

Both of their shouts went unanswered. Alex started rummaging through the medicine cabinet before moving to the small drawer under the sink. "What are you doing?" He was leaning back against the shut door, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

Taking things out of the drawer – did anyone ever actually use anything from in there? – it was like a junk drawer – she set them in the sink. "There's not a spare key?"

"No, there's only one."

Alex expelled a breath as she stopped her choppy and hurried movements. Looking at him, she asked, "What did your parents do when you or Mary locked yourselves in here?"

They both looked up at the ceiling. Thanks to the thin walls, they could hear that Catherine was drawing water for a bath. That meant, based on prior experience, that they would be trapped down here for well over an hour. On the rare occasions that she took baths, Catherine would sit in the water until it got cold – and, considering she always had the water piping hot when she climbed in, that could take awhile – and then she would spend close to an hour fixing her hair, applying lotion, and just enjoying her 'me time'.

"We never did," he answered, actually surprised that she was talking to him. He shrugged. "The key was never kept in here so we couldn't lock ourselves in."

Alex shook her head. "You don't know what you missed out on," she mumbled, a grin appearing on her face.

"That was _not_ funny," Steve said, remembering the exact event she was referring to. She had been five – it was during her second visit that year, at Thanksgiving, to visit him in Coronado – and, thinking she was in her room taking a nap, he had not discovered that she had locked herself in the bathroom until nearly an hour after he had told her to stay in her room. He had spent twenty minutes trying to get her to unlock the door to let him in; he finally had to pick the lock but by then it had been too late. The damage had been done: water in the bathtub was overflowing onto the floor and Alex, naked with only swim floaties on her arms, was in the tub doggie paddling. That was the first time he had been forced to ground her. "I'm actually surprised you remember that."

She gave into a smirk. "It was fun for me." Shrugging, she added, "I told you, Dad; I remember a lot from when I was little." Then, backing away from the sink, she took two short steps over to the toilet and, after putting both the toilet seat and lid down – why did her Dad always insist on leaving them _up_? – climbed on top of it, facing the small window.

"Now what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she replied, trying to push open a window that probably had not been opened in forty years. "I'm trying to get us out of here."

She was so amusing right now that he had to force himself not to smile. He shifted against the door. "You do realize that Catherine put us in here so we can talk, right?"

She stopped trying to open the window momentarily as she turned to look at him. "I thought that's what we've been doing." She got off the toilet and grabbed the hand soap pump dispenser from the sink. Climbing back up onto the toilet, she looked at him again and said, "I'm hungry, okay? And you know that I get grouchy when I don't eat." She turned to the window and started squirting soap into the joints of the window, hoping it would serve as enough lubrication to make it easier to open.

"So, what?" He asked, coming to stand behind her. "You're going to climb out the window and go cook breakfast? All without Catherine finding out?"

"No," Alex said, her tone playful. "_We_ are breaking out of here and then _I _will take _you_ to breakfast. When Catherine comes to let us out, she'll open the door and we'll be gone." She grinned. "Then she'll know that she shouldn't mess with McGarrett's."

Steve shook his head. Maybe he was crazy but he was actually considering supporting his daughter in her endeavor to outsmart Catherine. If, for no other reason, than because his stomach was demanding that he take Alex up on her offer to buy him breakfast. He watched as she continued to struggle with the window, considering the consequences of breaking out of "lockup" with his daughter. Catherine would probably deny him sex for the next month but, then again, he had gone a lot longer than that during her tours on the Enterprise. She might even get mad at him, leading to a fight, but that wouldn't be the first time either. Besides, she did tell him last night that he needed to fix things with Alex. "I see one problem with your plan."

"What?" She said, turning around and tossing the now empty soap dispenser into the sink.

"I can't fit through there," he said, nodding towards the window.

She shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. The window was small, sure, but she was thin enough to squeeze through it. "But I can." She grinned. "Help me open the window; I'll climb out and I'll open the door to let you out."

* * *

"I'm not perfect you know," Steve said, looking over at his daughter who was sitting in the passenger seat. Their breakfast was in a box on her lap; they had decided to pick up a to-go order and bring it home to enjoy with Catherine. "I try my best to do the right thing but I'm not perfect, especially when it comes to being your Dad."

"I know that, Dad," she replied, looking at him as he focused his eyes straight ahead as he drove. "And, I think that's what makes you such a good dad: you acknowledge that you make mistakes."

Steve nodded, glancing at his daughter briefly before returning his attention to the road. "I know your Mom's birth date, Alex. I knew it was soon but yesterday my mind was elsewhere and I just forgot."

"I know," she returned, thinking about the long discussion she had had with Catherine last night on the way home from the Hilton. "I'm sorry I was a brat. I'm sorry I mistreated you."

"Thank you," he said, stopping at the traffic light and using the chance to look at her. "Then why did you? I mean, you said you would try to talk to me when something is wrong or if I do something to upset you."

"I was mad," she stated. "I was upset with myself and at you." Knowing that answer wouldn't appease him, she explained, "When I said I wanted to go to the service for Malia I didn't realize what date it would be taking place on. I still would have gone if I did realize it but at least I would have been prepared." She chewed on the inside of her lip for a few moments as she thought about her actions from the day before. "I didn't realize it was Mom's birthday until I saw Chin spreading Malia's ashes. That made me think of when we spread Mom's ashes and then I remembered it was her birthday. I was mad at myself for not realizing it sooner and I was mad at you for not reminding me."

"Like I said, I did not intentionally forget her birthday."

"I know, Dad," she said again, her eyes still on him as he started driving again. "You had a lot on your mind and it was selfish of me to not consider that. I'm sorry."

* * *

By the time they got back to the house they were both in good moods, laughing and telling jokes as they got out of the truck and walked to the front door. Both of their smiles vanished the moment they stepped inside the house and spotted Catherine standing in the living room, hands on her hips and a look of supreme annoyance on her face.

"Hi, Babe," Steve said, giving her that charming smile of his that usually was successful in reducing her anger at him.

"Don't, Steve," she said, glaring at him. "You can't charm your way out of this one."

"Um, we brought breakfast," Alex said, giving Catherine a smile that matched her dad's and holding up the box of food. "Hungry?"

Catherine shook her head. "You are just like your father, you know that?"

"What?" Alex asked, attempting an innocent smile.

"That," Catherine said, pointing at Alex's face. "You can't charm yourself out of this either."

Alex looked at her Dad. He was now in the doghouse with Catherine and it was partly her fault. She owed it to him to try to make the situation better. She looked back at Catherine. "Well, you locked us in there to work things out." Catherine and her Dad both looked at her; their expressions told her they were curious to see where she was going with this. "And, well, we did. It took teamwork to get out of the bathroom and it took trust on my Dad's part because I could have easily just walked off and left him in there once I got out. We communicated through all of that and then we continued to talk while we went to get breakfast."

"How exactly did you get your Dad out if I had the key?"

"Yeah," Steve said, just now finding out that his daughter did not use the key to get him out. "How did you?"

Alex shrugged nonchalantly. "Picked it."

"You picked the lock?" Her only response was a nod. "And how exactly did you learn to do that?"

"It's part of the McGarrett DNA." She grinned at the small smile that graced Catherine's face. She handed the box to her dad and then walked over to Catherine, hugging her. Stepping back, she said, "I know you're mad that we didn't stay where you put us but your plan still worked. Thanks."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Steve and Catherine were sitting on the couch, Alex nestled between them. All three of them had their feet propped up on the coffee table; in their laps, plates full of their breakfast. Anchor lay on the floor, having given up begging for food awhile ago.

"Turn it off," Catherine said, laughing as she leaned over Alex and tried to wrestle away the remote from Steve.

"Nuh-uh," Steve said with his mouth full of food and the remote held high above his head. "My house, my rules."

"I agree with Catherine," Alex said, "this show is trash." Her Dad, who had suggested that they have breakfast on the couch while watching TV, had elected to put on some terrible court show with judges who dealt with some of the most ridiculous cases ever. The things people would do for five minutes of fame. Of all shows that he could have chosen to watch, he had picked something that he knew both she and Catherine absolutely despised.

"Hey now," he said, holding up his finger. "This is quality television." Even though he felt quite the opposite; sometimes it was just too much fun to annoy them.

Balancing her plate on her lap, she reached over and ripped the remote out of his hand, grinning at him when he looked at her in surprise. She hit two numbers on the remote – she had the channel number memorized – and up popped A&E. "Now _this_ is quality television."

Steve glanced over his daughter's head, catching Catherine's eye. "Um, Sweetheart, I don't know if –"

"Look," Alex said, ignoring him completely. She knew Catherine would be happy about her channel choice; she had looked up the TV schedule for the movie only a few days before. "_Ghost _is on."

A grin appeared on Catherine's face, much to Steve's displeasure. "I'm good with watching this."

Steve groaned and started to get up from the couch. Alex reached out and grabbed his t-shirt, pulling him back down onto the couch. "It was your idea to watch TV while we eat so you have to watch this."

"That's right, Steve," Catherine said, smiling sweetly at him. "Majority rules."

* * *

"Do you know any Japanese?"

Catherine turned around to face the teenager in the back seat of Steve's truck. "Very little. Why?"

Alex nodded towards her dad. "Dad said that, at the halfway point of this class, he's going to start speaking only Japanese to me. That way I have a better chance of being able to skip Japanese Two next school year. I was just wondering if you would be able to understand what he says to me."

"No," Catherine replied, shaking her head. "But I think that's a great idea."

"Yeah," Alex said, "Dad's pretty cool like that. Did he tell you everything he did to help me and Josh study for our final exams? Especially the land nav course he made for us?"She spent the next five minutes rambling on and on about all of the things he had done to help her and Josh prepare for their final exams.

Catherine glanced at Steve, that familiar warm feeling pooling in her belly all of a sudden. There were certain things that made her want to jump his bones and one of those had always been the sweet things he did in his role as a father. Seeing how much he cared for and loved Alex had always been a major turn on for her. She cleared her throat, mentally telling herself to keep her hormones under wraps until the teenager was out of the truck. "You created a land nav course for them? You did all that?"

"Well, yeah," he said, as if it was something that every parent did for their child.

"It was awesome, Catherine," Alex exclaimed, leaning so far forward in the seat which caused her Dad to question if she was still wearing her safety belt. "I really think that because of him, Josh and I both got really good grades on our exams." She shrugged. "At least we both feel like we did well."

"Speaking of," Steve said, turning onto the street where Alex's school was located. "When do you get your report card?"

"Next week, I think," Alex said, sliding her backpack across the seat towards her. "But if it comes this week I have to wait until Josh gets back to look at it." Seeing her dad's questioning eyes in the rearview mirror, she explained, "We promised to look at them together." Her dad pulled the car up to the curb in front of the main entrance. "See you in a couple of hours." She opened the door and got out. "Love you!"

Catherine waited until the door was closed and Alex was walking up the steps of the school. "What time did you say her class ends?"

"Three-thirty."

She glanced at the clock. Twelve twenty-eight. Today was Alex's short day of class; every Tuesday and Thursday her class ran for three hours instead of four."And it takes twenty minutes to go home?"

"Yeah."

"You still plan on going to the grocery store?"

"Yeah," Steve said, tearing his eyes away from watching his daughter open the main door of the school. "Why?"

"Well, if you save the grocery store for after we pick Alex up," Catherine said, placing her hand on his leg. "And make it back to the house in fifteen," she continued, running her hand up his leg until it stopped very high up on his thigh, causing Steve to groan at the contact. "I'll make it worth your while." She squeezed his thigh. "Unless you want to get arrested for having public sex outside of your daughter's school."

He didn't know what he had done to make her horny but he was _not_ going to complain. Certain parts of his anatomy were already reacting physically to her touch. "Your wish is my command, Lieutenant."

* * *

A week later, Alex and Josh opened up their report cards in the middle of the McGarrett living room. Both teens had received high marks in each of their courses; their GPA's were the exact same. In addition, they had received their AP test scores – Alex for French and Italian and Josh for Spanish – with both kids doing remarkably well. Josh had received the highest score possible, a five. Alex had received a five in French and a four in Italian. Proud of both of their kids, Steve and Jason had suggested an afternoon and evening of fun – arcade games, black light mini golf and laser tag, mini bowling, and a laser frenzy challenge game – at the Rascal's Family Fun Center followed by a quick dinner and an IMAX movie. Alex and Josh had, of course, spent most of the evening flirting but Steve had, due to a promise he had made to Catherine, not freaked out; he had given her the freedom to be a teenager all while keeping a close eye on them.

The following week he had started speaking to Alex in Japanese about seventy-five percent of the time. He had been very impressed with how much of the language she had already picked up; his kid certainly had an ear for languages. It was nice to know that the extra money he had forked over for this four-week intensive course seemed to be paying off. But, then again, Alex spent nearly three hours every morning listening to Japanese audio tapes and often fell asleep listening to them at night, too. She was bound and determined to test out of Japanese Two so that she could take Japanese Three next school year which would put her in line to take the AP Japanese exam her senior year, just like she had planned out on her academic schedule for the next three years.

Starting the weekend before the last week of her class, he had only spoken Japanese to her; absolutely no English. If he said something to her that she didn't understand, she had to look it up and figure out how to respond appropriately. If she needed or wanted to know something, she would only get a response from him if she spoke to him in Japanese. The morning of her final exam, he had taken her on an extra long run – nine miles – to relax her and then to a Japanese restaurant in Waikiki for brunch before dropping her off at school. After the exam, she had ridden her bike to Headquarters, telling him that she felt fairly confident that she had done well and that she would get her exam score the following week.

The following weekend they had sat down and finalized the plans for their four days in Seattle. They would be flying there – Catherine was going to join them – on Wednesday. They would meet with Denise and other shelter personnel on Thursday morning, reviewing the architectural plans that Denise - she had already met with the city Urban Planning office and notified them of their plans – and Alex had drawn up over the course of multiple Skype sessions, and to finalize the estimated costs of renovating and adding on to the current building. That night they would be having dinner with Brian's family at their apartment. Then, on Friday, they would all make a trip to the bank to transfer the funds from the account that Cindy had set aside for Alex to the shelter's account. They would spend the rest of the day at the shelter, helping out as needed and spending time with the kids, before grabbing dinner at one of Steve and Alex's favorite restaurants in Seattle – The Pink Door. The plan for Saturday, their last day in the city, was up in the air; they would take it relaxed and easy. Sunday would find them flying back to Honolulu.

On Monday, Alex had received news that she had proved herself well enough to register for Japanese Three. On Tuesday, Steve drove her to the school to meet with her guidance counselor where she had finalized her schedule for the upcoming school year. In addition to Japanese Three, she would be taking Physics, AP US History, Honors English 10, Trigonometry – her Geometry teacher had suggested that she skip Algebra Two based on her math skills – as well as NJROTC and the school's required health, physical education, and business classes. Josh, as the kids had predicted, would be all in of the same classes, with the exceptions of Japanese and NJROTC; he would be taking Italian and Army JROTC. That night, they had packed their bags before heading to Catherine's house to pick her up for dinner. She had spent the night at their place so that they could head straight to the airport from there.

That was where they were now, in the gate area, waiting for their flight to Seattle to board. Alex had grown steadily more anxious with each passing hour; she was now sitting in her seat, tapping her feet nervously on the floor. "You sure you want to do this?" Steve asked, placing a comforting arm on her back.

"Flight's already paid for, Dad," she said, her fingers becoming in sync with the rhythm of her feet.

"True," he said, "but if you'd rather not, we can leave right now. We can do VTC's with Denise and transfer the money from here."

Alex shook her head. "I have to do this, Dad." It didn't matter that she was _dreading _going back to Seattle – there were so many memories there that she wasn't quite ready to deal with again – because other things were more important than her discomfort. "I have to do this for the kids. I have to do this for their families."

* * *

**A/N: Yes, I know this was another **_**long**_** chapter but my characters and muse are demanding. Hope you don't mind the lengthiness. Hope you McRoll fans enjoyed this!**

**Please be kind and leave me a review. It would make me very happy :) **** Thank you!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Symbolic (in my mind) and endearing… those are two words that, I think, sum up this chapter. There is no action and no drama. It's about family and love. Hopefully it leaves you with a warm and fuzzy feeling :) Thanks to JMReagan for the inspiration of two lines written below!**

**Thanks to everyone who left reviews on the last chapter:**

**Guest – Thank you for the compliment. Mama McG will be either in chapter 5 or 6. **

**FicreaderT – Glad you enjoy Steve and Cath, too! I wasn't sure how Cath's solution would be received by the readers but, hey, I think it worked. Thanks for reading!**

**Pinkphoenix1985 – Sorry for making you sob… part of this chapter might do the same. Yes, this chapter takes place in Seattle. Thanks for everything!**

**Angel – Glad you loved them getting locked in the bathroom! Happy New Year to you, too, and thanks for reading!**

**Narwhayley – Glad you enjoyed it! I really think there is so much more to McRoll than what we see on the show… I love when Cath/Alex/Steve get to have family moments. Thanks for reading!**

**Craftygirl11 – Thanks so much. No relationship is perfect so I think Steve and Alex's ups and downs are normal but yes, I prefer when they aren't arguing, too. Haha, yes, escaping the bathroom was funny to write. Episode 3 (stranded in the ocean) should be in the next chapter. Thanks again!**

**HBSpud – LOL. No one ever messes with the McGarrett's and gets away with it! Thanks for reading!**

**JMReagan – Thanks! I think Alex is a pretty remarkable kid, too. Thanks for the compliment.**

* * *

They had arrived at the Lawson's over an hour ago after having spent a good portion of the day with a handful of shelter personnel discussing everyone's vision for the soon-to-be renovated building. Very few changes had needed to be made and all had agreed on the final plan. The restrooms and shower areas, as well as the kitchen, would be completely renovated and all other required repairs would be conducted. In addition to adding an extra classroom, both of the living quarters would be expanded, providing space for another twenty-four residents, and the dining area would be given a fresh makeover. The representative from the construction company who had been hired to complete the renovation had even, after learning where they money for the project would be coming from, had made a final offer that was $75,000 cheaper than his original estimate. The final cost of the project had been quoted to be $640,000 which, thanks to her inheritance, was pretty much pocket change for Alex. And, even though they would not be transferring the money until tomorrow, Alex had, during their drive over to Brian's, insisted that she still wanted to transfer a total of one million, arguing that it would provide the shelter with extra funds to use when they needed it. Steve had told her they would figure out those details tomorrow.

When they had stepped inside the Lawson's apartment, Alex had introduced Catherine and re-introduced Steve to Brian and Brian's parents, Robert and Cosette, before disappearing down the hall to catch up with her friend. With dinner cooking in the oven, the adults, meanwhile, had headed to the living room – the biggest one Catherine had ever been in – where they cracked open a bottle of red wine and started getting to know each other. About half an hour ago, the kids had invaded the kitchen; Cosette had been forced to remind them not to snack because dinner would be ready in an hour. Roughly twenty minutes ago, Alex had walked by them, headed for the bathroom in the hallway. Yet, it had just dawned on both Catherine and Steve that they had never seen her head back towards the kitchen.

"I'll go," Catherine said quietly, her breath tickling Steve's ear as she set her wine glass down on the coffee table and politely excused herself. She had checked the bathroom first; Alex wasn't there. Stepping into the kitchen, she spotted Brian sampling one of the homemade macarons – Cosette, who was native French, had prepared a variety of traditional French desserts in addition to an authentic French meal – which his mother had just told him not to touch.

Caught red handed, Brian dropped the macaron, giving into an impish grin. "Um, Lieutenant Rollins, I –"

"Make that your last one and I won't tell your Mom."

"Deal," Brian said right away. "Thanks." He covered the rest of the deserts, sticking the last bite of macaron in his mouth. "You lookin' for Alex?"

Catherine nodded. "I thought she went to the bathroom but –"

"She's next door," Brian told her.

Catherine thanked him and then, without bothering to inform Steve where she was headed, she left the apartment, sliding out the front door unnoticed. She turned to head down the hall and, sure enough, the front door of the only other apartment on this floor was partially open. She headed down the hall, pushing the door open and quietly closing it behind her. On her right was a large and modern kitchen; on her left, a closed door. The walls were bare; the counters dusty. The air was musty as would be expected of a place that had not been lived in for almost a year. Past the kitchen, she rounded the corner and stopped. Directly in front of her, about twenty feet away, sat Alex on the floor in a living room that put the Lawson's to shame; the floor-to-ceiling windows that Alex was looking out of provided a view that Catherine found to be absolutely stunning. Catherine toed off her shoes and then, stepping around them, walked softly into the unfurnished, open space and took a seat next to Alex on the hardwood floor. "It's so beautiful."

Alex nodded, lifting her chin momentarily from where it was resting on her kneecaps, which she was hugging to her chest. "It's even prettier at night when all the lights are on." She gave into a laugh that echoed throughout the room. "I'm a little bit biased but this is one of my favorite views in the city."

Catherine didn't say anything, just taking in the beauty that was spread out before her. The Puget Sound was in the distance but sailboats, Ferry boats, and part of the Seattle skyline could still be seen. She just sat there, feeling at peace as she sat quietly with the teenager, watching the sun get lower in the sky.

"It's mine."

"What?"

"This apartment," Alex said, her eyes never leaving the landscape outside. "Apparently when my Mom's attorney said I was left everything, everything included this." Not long after she and Brian had disappeared into his room to catch up, she had asked about his new neighbors, assuming that her former apartment had been sold. She had been shocked when, in reply, he had told her that the apartment was vacant and had never even been put on the market after she had moved to Hawaii. Then he had told her that, months earlier, when her Mom had been missing, David would stop by about once a week. The last time he had stopped by was in February, informing them of her mom's death, and telling his parents that the apartment had been left to Alex. They had not seen him or anyone else enter the apartment since then.

What Alex had just told her was news to Catherine and she was fairly certain that Steve didn't know that either. Studying Alex's profile, she got the feeling that Alex had just learned about the apartment being hers. "How do you feel about that?"

Alex shrugged. "I'm fifteen years old and I just inherited several million dollars and a 6,000 square foot apartment." _And I'd give it all back if it meant knowing my Mom was still alive. _She finally looked at Catherine. "It's weird." She shrugged again. "Plus, I don't understand why, if the apartment is mine, I haven't received a bill for the utilities." Seeing the confused look on Catherine's face, she explained, "The lights still work and there's running water. It doesn't make any sense, especially because I know how expensive those bills can get." _Especially for an apartment this size._

"That is strange," Catherine agreed. Following Alex's lead, she continued to take in the scenery outside. It was so quiet here. Even the rain pounding the glass outside couldn't be heard.

"When Dad and I were here last time," Alex finally said, relaxing her legs and turning her head to look at Catherine. "My Mom really didn't spend that much time with us. With me. She wasn't here when we were packing up my room; she wasn't here when I told Dad how hard it was for me to leave Seattle. It's like she didn't even care." She shook her head. "This doesn't make sense to me. Why would she leave me this place when she was so apt to get rid of it the way she got rid of me?"

"Maybe, deep down, she understood how hard it was for you to lose this as your home," Catherine said, reaching out a hand and stroking Alex's hair. "Maybe she knew you weren't quite ready to say goodbye." She gave her a hopeful smile. "And maybe, knowing that, she thought it would be better if she gave you the opportunity to say goodbye on your own terms." She glanced around the steadily darkening apartment. "One more chance to remember all the good times you had here."_Not everything was bad, you've told me that yourself. _

"Yeah," she said nodding before breaking into a smile. "Yeah, you're right." She scrambled to her feet. "I wanna show you the rest of the place."She grabbed Catherine's hand, pulling her to her feet and practically dragging her behind her in the direction of the wing of the apartment Catherine had yet to see. Alex opened a door at the end of the hall, flipping on the light and dropping Catherine's hand as soon as she stepped inside. "This was my room."

Catherine looked around the room. Not surprisingly, it was larger than Alex's bedroom in Hawaii. The walls were painted white; the Saxony Plush carpet was the color of almonds. Along the opposite wall, a desk made of white oak was surrounded on each side by a bookshelf; the items appeared to be one solid unit. To the left of the door, closer to the corner of the room, was a lone window that provided a similar view to that of the living room. To the right, along the same wall as the door, was the opening to a large walk-in closet with built in shelving units and hanging bars.

"My bed was here," Alex said, using her hands to show the layout of where her bed had stuck out from the far right side wall. "And my nightstand here." She looked up at the ceiling. "There used to be those glow-in-the-dark stars – a whole solar system actually – right above my bed; my grandpa bought them for me and he had displayed them so they formed the different constellations. Once I learned a few of them, he would take me outside to find them in the sky." She walked over the desk, running her hand along the smooth oak, making a trail through the layer of dust found there. "My dad designed this," she said, the smile on her face growing larger. "I think I was nine when he and Grandpa – they actually visited me at the same time – built it together." She gestured to the wall above the desk. "I used to spend a lot of time sitting here – doing homework or art projects; using my Mom's extra laptop to email my grandpa or to Skype with Dad…crying." She grew quiet, thinking about how much of this room had been filled with a dichotomy of emotions – laughter had echoed here and nearly everything in here, on multiple occasions, had been bathed in tears of sadness.

She choked back a sob, pulling Catherine out of the room while flipping off the light with her other hand. Their next stop was the guest room: smaller than Alex's bedroom but with an even better view of the Sound thanks to three large windows along the far wall. "This was the guest bedroom," Alex said, standing in the middle of the room. She pointed to her left. "There was a chaise lounge chair in that corner – Dad and Grandpa used to read to me there – and the bed was over there," she added, pointing to the opposite wall. "There was a bookshelf and a small writing desk." She gave into a pensive smile. "This was Grandpa's room every time he came to visit."

Alex continued to ramble. Watching and listening to her, Catherine grew wistful; even when she called to mind her good memories Alex's words were touched with a tinge of sadness. "And what about your Dad? Where did he sleep when he came to see you?"

"At a hotel sometimes," Alex answered, leaning back against the wall. "When I was real little he usually slept in my room with me or we would fall asleep on the couch while watching movies." She shrugged. "I used to listen to his heartbeat and it always lulled me to sleep." She shifted her weight to the other foot. "I guess when I was nine, or ten maybe, was when he stopped staying here at night; I stayed with him at his hotel." She hunched her shoulders slightly as a fleeting flash of hurt appeared in her eyes. "The last time he saw me before last summer was at Christmas when I was eleven and mom wouldn't let me stay at his hotel with him. They didn't know that I had been listening but they argued and then he ended up sleeping on the floor in my room."

The mention of Christmas spawned another train of thought for Alex because she led Catherine out of the room, past the bathroom and computer room, and back into the living room. She stood in the middle of the room directly in front of the center line of the long line of windows. "This is where our Christmas tree was," she said, her arms spread out wide as if showcasing the tree. "It was always a huge tree and I never let anyone put the angel on top because that was Dad's job and no one else's." She grew melancholic, her eyes becoming damp with tears. "That Christmas was the last time our tree had an angel on it," she said, before adding with a quieter voice, "That was also the last time I didn't have to decorate it by myself." When Catherine made a move in her direction, she cleared her throat and blinked away the tears. "The balcony over there?" Alex said, changing the topic. "I once tried to rappel off it using bed sheets tied together but my Mom caught me."

"You tried to rappel off of a fifth floor balcony?" It shouldn't have surprised Catherine; Alex was her father's daughter.

"Yeah," Alex said, giving into a laugh. "I read a book about SEAL's doing it during missions so I wanted to try it." She shrugged. "I got in trouble that night which, I guess, was appropriate but, um," she said, biting her lip nervously. "I finally managed to do it – this time with _real_ rappelling gear – a couple of weeks later, in the middle of the night when Mom was gone." Alex looked at Catherine. "I probably shouldn't have told you that."

Catherine gave Alex a smile of assurance. "It's in the past and you didn't get hurt. Your Dad doesn't need to know. It'll be our secret."

"Cool," Alex said, giving into a grateful smile. "I want to show you one more thing. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is."

Alex led her to the other wing of the apartment, stopping in front of a closed door. Her fingers wrapped around the round handle, she opened the door, revealing a large empty room with light blue walls and dusty hardwood floors. "This was my Mom's room. I never got to spend much time in here because it was off limits." She looked at Catherine. "It wasn't like at my Dad's apartment where I could wake him up in the middle of the night if I needed to or ask to sleep in his room if I was scared." She shrugged, changing her train of thought. "Apparently when we first moved here, I didn't – _couldn't _– sleep."

Catherine nodded. "Yeah, your dad once told me that when you lived in Annapolis you would only fall asleep if he was with you."

"Yeah," Alex said, nodding. "Listening to his heart beat was soothing." She shrugged, her eyes filling with tears again. "Still is actually." She allowed a tear to fall, not bothering to wipe it away as she sank to the floor with her back against the wall.

"Oh, Alex," Catherine said, sitting next to her and wrapping her arm around her.

"She left me a letter." She had not told anyone about the letter that had been included in the packet that her mom's attorney had mailed to Hawaii. No one, not even Josh or her dad, knew about it.

"A letter?"

Alex nodded. "The lawyer sent it with the info about my inheritance." She wiped her eyes. "She apologized for, like, the millionth time for not being a good mom. She said she loved me but just never knew how to be a mother. Then she went off on a tangent, talking about how there had always been signs that I belonged with my Dad but that she didn't realize it until it was too late. About how, when I was a baby, I was always calmer around him and how I always wanted to be everywhere he was. I guess when he went back to the Academy, I cried a lot because I was so attached to him." In closing the letter, her Mom had gone off on a tangent, expressing that she had a different take on the phrase 'two hearts beating as one'. Where most people felt the phrase referred to romantic love, her Mom believed it referred to a strong familial love that not every blood relation shared. The reason, according to her Mom, that only her Dad could get her to sleep as a baby and toddler was because her heart beat in sync with her Dad's. Her Mom had stated that blood had made her the maternal relative of Alex's; a deep-seated connection of heart beats made her dad her family. It was that way because it was supposed to be that way, regardless of how much her Mom had wished differently.

Alex cleared her throat as she forced herself to think about something different. "I don't know what to do," she finally admitted after several minutes.

"About what, Honey?"

"About the apartment," Alex replied. "I don't know what to do with it. I don't need it – I'm not even sure I want it – but I don't see myself selling it either."She looked at Catherine. "How do I decide?"

"Maybe you don't know what to do for a reason. Maybe you're not ready to say goodbye," she told her, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. "And there's nothing wrong with that."

* * *

Not long after their conversation in Cindy's former bedroom, Catherine's phone had vibrated due to an incoming text message from Steve, informing them that dinner would be ready in fifteen minutes. On their way out of the apartment, Alex had led them to the laundry room, opening the door and showing Catherine the spot where her mom had recorded her height with each age or significant life event. It had started, according to Alex, the day they had moved in, when she was four. There were numerous marks after that, one for each birthday, with each one separated by a different length of space based on how much she had grown that year. Alex had told her that, up until the age of twelve, her Mom had always been the one to mark her height and write the date or her age next to the line. The last line, marked with words penned in Alex's handwriting, had been drawn the day that her grandfather had died. Alex had reached up to above the door frame, locating a pen that had been left there, and had asked Catherine to record her height and today's date.

Then they had headed back to the Lawson's apartment and, upon entering the apartment, Steve had asked if everything was okay; Catherine had told him they would talk about it later. After washing their hands, they had joined everyone else for an exquisite multi-course traditional French dining experience – a small bowl of lobster bisque for the appetizer; _Bœuf bourguignon_ for the main meal; a piece of _Camembert_ for the fromage course; and a slice of _mille-feuille, _in addition to the macarons, for dessert. The teenagers, despite their best attempts at sampling the Bordeaux red wine the adults were drinking, had ended up drinking wine with their meal. Afterwards, the teenagers had offered to clear the table and wash the dishes. After another two hours of socializing, they had bid goodbye to the Lawson's, expressing immense gratitude for the warm reception, enjoyable conversation, and excellent meal. Alex had hugged Brian goodbye and then, once in the hallway outside of the apartment, she had grabbed onto her Dad's hand and led him down the hall to the apartment that she now owned.

Alex had not said very much – she simply had told Steve that her mother had left her the apartment. Then, she had returned to the spot on the floor where Catherine had originally found her. Steve, surprised to learn that his daughter had been left an apartment well worth over one million dollars, had silently disappeared into Alex's former bedroom. Catherine had followed him a few minutes later, finding him leaning against the wall, one hand in his pocket, looking out the window. After she had recapped what she and Alex had been doing earlier, he told her that he needed to be alone for awhile and that he would find her and Alex in the living room when he was ready to head back to the hotel. An hour later, after Catherine and Alex had sat in front of the window, talking and looking out at the Sound, he had joined them, suggesting that they go back to the hotel.

They had arrived back at their hotel room forty-five minutes ago. Steve had received a phone call from an old SEAL buddy and had headed out to the bedroom balcony to talk to him. After changing their clothes, Catherine and Alex had headed to the couch and, while Catherine searched for something to watch, Alex had curled up on her side, resting her head in Catherine's lap. In only a matter of minutes, Alex had fallen into a deep asleep, not even moving when Catherine started to run her hand through her hair.

When he finished his phone call, Steve headed back inside, changing into shorts and a t-shirt before heading to the living room section of their two-bedroom hotel suite. He stopped, frozen in place, at the sight of Catherine and Alex on the couch. The way that Catherine was stroking his daughter's hair and the blissful look on Alex's sleeping face would have made him, if he didn't know any better, think he was looking at a loving mother and daughter. When Catherine smiled at him, he walked over to them, placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Want me to put her to bed?"

Catherine shook her head. "No. Let her stay. I'll be her pillow and you'll be mine."

He returned her smile, taking the empty spot on the couch next to her. Feeling her hand on his knee, he looked at it, finding himself shocked by the sudden thought running through his head: her hand was naked. It was surprising, and a bit terrifying, to him that he found it extremely wrong that there wasn't a single article of jewelry on her finger. His breath caught in his throat at the immense feeling of love that he felt for this woman. The sudden longing deep within his heart to make Catherine a permanent fixture in his and Alex's life – to ask her the question that he had only ever asked one woman before – hit him like a ton of bricks. She loved him despite all of his flaws but, even more than that, it was the things she had done for Alex that had intensified his feelings for her.

"You okay?"

Ripping his eyes away from her hand, he released the breath he had been holding. He nodded, giving her a smile that didn't exactly match his words. "Yeah." He grabbed her hand, bringing it up to his mouth and kissing it. "Thank you for loving my daughter."

"Thank you for allowing me to be a part of her life," Catherine replied, not quite understanding the look in his eyes. "And to be part of your life with her. You both bring so much joy to my life."

Steve smiled. "I love you."

When he kissed her, it was a kiss like no other. It wasn't erotic yet was full of plenty of passion. It wasn't entirely chaste yet was full of respect and decency. It didn't last very long yet, even after he pulled away, it felt like it would last forever. It felt as if it were their souls touching and not their lips. The kiss was full of promises and felt like they were sealing their love forever. It was so different and the way he looked at her, gazing into her eyes, was different than ever before. "I love you, too, Sailor."

"I love you," he stated again, placing his arm over her shoulders and covering her hand on his thigh with his free hand. He placed a kiss to her temple, shifting his body a little so she could get comfortable against his shoulder. When Steve closed his eyes an hour later, a smile graced his face. He was falling asleep with the feeling like his heart was finally whole again.

* * *

**A/N: I am aware that we have not seen canon Steve entertain the notion of marriage but that's the difference between this story and the show. From here on out, this story may become even more AU. Just a warning in case that's not your cup of tea. **

**Topics for discussion: who do you think is paying the utility bills for the apartment? (I already know who is, but I'm curious to see what you all think). Did you find this chapter to contain symbolic elements? If so, what were they? **

**As always, thank you for reading! **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Warning for a reference to sex. For some reason, Catherine and Steve keep demanding that I write something that will turn this story into an M rating. I keep refusing to do so; instead you will just get references to it. **

**Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter… it's been a crazy week.**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and, for everyone who guessed, the person paying the utility bills for Alex is… DAVID!**

**Craftygirl11 – Thanks. I honestly think that Steve can be (and has been in the past) romantic. It's fun to write that side of him. And, you're guesses were good but nope, neither Joe nor Sam are paying the utility bills (neither of them know about Alex having the apartment). Thanks for reading!**

**FicreaderT – Glad you found it to be warm and fuzzy, too! **** I'm also glad you are looking forward to reading a proposal ;-) Great job guessing David! Thanks for reading!**

**Guest – I loved that line (and paragraph), too! Your guess was right – David is paying the bill. Thanks for reading/reviewing!**

**Gear's Girl – Thanks! The last part was one of my favorites, too! I love that Steve is finally coming to realizations about certain things **

**Pinkphoenix1985 – I had debated about whether or not to keep in that part of what Cindy told Alex. I wasn't too sure how the readers would receive that… seems like it went over pretty well. I felt that it was important that Cindy try to redeem herself in her daughter's eyes. Alex isn't quite there yet but at least she doesn't feel hatred towards her. Sorry to disappoint but no Doris in this chapter either…**

**Angel – Thanks for the review. Great job guessing David! I'm glad you are enjoying the idea of Steve proposing! **

**Narwhayley – Thank you! I really love Alex and Catherine's relationship too so I'm glad you are enjoying reading the scenes between them. **** Glad you are enjoying the Steve/Cath stuff as well. **

**Pat Toby – Thank you! Sorry it took so long to get this chapter written and posted. **

**Sunny irish – Wow! I didn't realize you were such a McRoll fan! **** Glad to know I made you very happy with the last chapter! **** Yes, it's quite the responsibility for a 15 year old. Of course, as her guardian, Steve has oversight on all decisions she makes in regards to it until she reaches the age of 18. Thanks for reading/reviewing!**

**JM Reagan – Thank you so much for your wonderful text! "So very poignant and beautifully written"… I never thought that someone would find that chapter to be so deeply moved. It's amazing to me that Cindy's explanation about two hearts beating as one had such a profound effect on you. The memories that moved you – John and Steve building Alex's desk, Steve sleeping on the floor in her room, the angel on the Christmas tree – were all things that came to my mind during a bout of insomnia LOL so you can thank my tired muse for those **** Thanks again friend!**

* * *

"Whatcha talking about?" Alex asked, stepping into the kitchenette of the hotel room. Fresh out of the shower, her towel dried hair formed a small damp spot on her shirt as she walked past the small table where her dad and Catherine were sitting.

"Oh, just about this incredible teenager that we know," Steve said, his smile causing his eyes to crinkle at the corners. He was being truthful – he and Catherine had been talking about her. Only after engaging in other _things_, of course. He had been the first to rise that morning; his body had been sore and stiff after sleeping on the couch in a sitting position. Deciding to forego a morning run or swim, he had gently extracted his numb arm from behind Catherine and headed to the bathroom for a shower. Just as he was getting ready to end his three-minute Navy shower, Catherine had surprised him by stepping into the shower, barely giving him time to react before placing a sloppy kiss to his shoulder and wrapping her arms around him. When he lifted her up, she had wasted no time in wrapping her legs around his waist. After a leisurely, quiet round of love making, they had washed up and gotten dressed.

Alex had still been asleep on the couch when they had exited the bathroom and headed to the kitchenette. As the coffee brewed, Catherine had gone into more detail about the night before, sharing with him all of Alex's wonderful memories of the apartment. Then, she had asked him if Alex was still seeing her therapist and, when he told her no, she suggested that, based on the amount of pain Alex still had regarding her mother, he might want to consider resending her to therapy sessions. When they heard the shower turn on, their conversation switched gears, with Steve expressing his awe and profound admiration of his daughter for everything she was doing for the shelter. That, of course, had led to them talking further about all of those things that made them so very proud of Alex.

"Really?" Alex asked, opening the full-sized fridge and grabbing a bottle of water. "Anyone I know?"

He nodded, giving a teasing smile at Catherine. "Yeah. This kid's intelligent."

"Athletic," Catherine piped in, her hands wrapped around her coffee mug.

"Very driven," Steve added. "And is very talented musically."

"Cares a lot about other people."

"And wants to be a military officer one day."

Alex grinned, knowing exactly what her next comment would do to her dad. "Oh, yeah, Josh _is_ pretty incredible, isn't he?"

The smile dropped from her dad's face and he shook his head. "You like doing that to me, don't you?"

"What are you talking about? She asked innocently, as she stepped over to the table with the bottle in hand along with a medication bottle. The small table only had two chairs; she claimed one of her dad's legs to use as a chair.

"You know what I'm talking about," he said, noticing the medication that Alex had set on the table so she could open the water bottle.

Alex shrugged, giving into a laugh. "Well, all of those things you listed _do_ describe Josh."

"She has a point," Catherine said, smiling sweetly at Steve when he softly glared at her.

Alex opened the medication bottle dropping one tablet of Ibuprofen onto the table and then, reconsidering, a second pill joined the first.

"Headache?" Steve asked, brushing a strand of damp hair off the side of her face.

She shook her head. "My hand hurts." Her hand, for the last few months, had always bothered her. Normally it was a tolerable, dull throbbing but, for the last couple of days now, the throbbing had been joined by occasional burning type pain. Starting last night during dinner, it had turned into sharp pains, making her feel like the knife was piercing her skin all over again. Normally, massaging the skin around the scar would help loosen the muscles and help with the pain. Yet, this time, it didn't.

Steve set his coffee mug aside and took her hand in his. He ran his thumbs gently along the scar, his touch just barely brushing her skin. Then, he applied a little bit more pressure, with every intention to help lessen the pain. When Alex cried out in pain, he stopped immediately. He apologized and, when he saw the tears in her eyes, he apologized again. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart," he said, kissing the side of her head. "I didn't realize that made it worse."

"'S okay," she said, sucking in another painful breath as the nerves in her hand continued to fire rapidly, causing sharp, shooting pains to travel to every part of her hand. "That hasn't helped at all this week." She put both pills in her mouth and took a drink of water, swallowing them. "These haven't really helped at all either."

"This week?" Steve asked, his tone full of concern. "It's been bothering you all week?"

Alex nodded. "It hurts all the time, just never this bad."

"All the time?" Steve asked, glancing past his daughter to look at Catherine. When she shook her head in the negative, signaling that she didn't anything about it, he looked back at Alex. "How long has this been going on?"

"Couple of months," she mumbled, hanging her head in shame. She had disappointed her dad once again by not telling him about the pain. Even if she thought her reasoning for not telling him was logical, he wouldn't, and that was why she had just suffered in silence.

"Months?!" Catching a look that Catherine shot him, he took a deep breath, reminding himself to not yell at his daughter for not telling him about the pain when it had started to be a consistent problem. "I'm not mad at you, Sweetheart," he said, placing a hand under her chin and lifting her head so she would look at him. "It's just…" He shook his head as he trailed off. He wasn't mad at her, that part had been true, but he was a little disappointed. Not necessarily at her but at himself; he thought he had done enough to make her unafraid and comfortable with talking to him when she was sick or hurting. Apparently not.

"Your dad's not mad at you," Catherine said, reaching over the small table to stroke her finger affectionately on Alex's cheek. "He – _we_ – just don't like knowing that you've been dealing with pain for so long." When Alex mumbled a quiet apology, Catherine asked, "We just want you to be comfortable with coming to us when there is something wrong."

"I am," Alex replied, wincing as another shot of pain coursed through her hand. "I mean, I do feel comfortable."

"Then why didn't you?" Steve asked, keeping his tone calm and non-aggressive.

"Because you both would have made me go back to the doctor and I don't want to." Maybe it was childish to be afraid of going to the doctor. Even though her fear had nothing to with actually seeing the doctor; the mental anguish associated with _why_ she had a scar on her palm was what she didn't want to experience.

"You can't continue taking Ibuprofen, hoping it helps," Steve told her, brushing her hair out of her face again. "You shouldn't have to live with constant pain, especially when it's as bad as it is right now."

Alex sighed, studying the only visible reminder she had of that day. "It's been more than a year, Dad."

_393 days to be exact._ The day that Alex had been kidnapped had become one of those days that can never be erased from memory. And the day that she had been rescued had become one of those days that he would celebrate every year. He had counted and cherished every single day since then in deep gratitude of being given a second chance at being her father. "Yeah," he agreed. "And you've come a long way since then. No more nightmares."

Alex nodded. "And I haven't had a panic attack in awhile," she added. "That's why I don't want to go to the doctor."

Steve studied her for a few moments, picking up on the fear in her eyes. He understood now: she was afraid of having to retell the story of how she got the scar. It reminded him that, even though she was one of the most fearless people he knew, - bugs, spiders, heights, confined spaces; none of those things had ever bothered her – she could look bullies in the eye; rappel down a cliff face; swim with sharks; survive in a jungle at night while alone and bleeding! – yet Alex was still a kid who had legitimate fears when it came to her mental health status. She liked to be in control of her emotions; she hated when her thoughts controlled her body. She could deal with the worst physical pain imaginable; for her the memory of her injury was far worse than the actual deep cutting of her skin. "I know you're scared," he told her, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "And it's okay to be scared. We really need to get that hand examined though. I promise that I will do what I can to make sure you don't have to talk about what happened. Okay?"

"Okay," she replied, her tone suggesting that she didn't quite believe him. Steve brought her hand to his face and pressed a kiss to the scar, causing Alex to give him a weird look.

He shrugged, giving into an amused smile. "What? I just wanted to see if I could kiss it and make it better."

Alex rolled her eyes before giving into a laugh. "That hasn't worked since I was, like, five." She laughed again. "I appreciate the gesture, though." She turned slightly so that she was facing him more and wrapped an arm around his neck. "So, Daddy," she started, finally getting the chance to talk to him about what she wanted to.

"Daddy?" Steve asked with one eyebrow raised. He shared an amused smile with Catherine. "Okay, what do you want?"

"Why does saying 'Daddy' mean that I want something?"

"Oh, gee, I don't know," he said, playing along. "Maybe because you never call me 'Daddy'".

"Not true!"Alex argued. "After my kidnapping I called you 'Daddy' all the time. And, sometimes when I tell you I love you, I say it too. I've even called you that when I've told you how lucky I feel to be your daughter."

"Okay," Steve said, holding up his hand in surrender. "You win; you're right."

"Thank you."

He smiled, giving into a shake of his head as well. "Okay, so if you don't want something…"

"Actually," Alex replied, giving into a grin. "This time I do want something."

* * *

Immense joy and happiness. Profound gratitude. Exceptionally blessed and serenely satisfied. These were the things that Steve was feeling as he sat back in his seat, watching his daughter and Catherine, who were huddled close together, flipping through pictures on Alex's phone from earlier that day. Their laughter sounded to him like a choir of angels; their smiles made the restaurant shine that much brighter. They were his girls; they were his world. A smile graced his face as he watched their interaction. His smile grew bigger when he reflected back on the amazingly wonderful day they had all had together.

What Alex had wanted from him was his permission to use more of the money Cindy had left her to buy groceries to help stock the pantry at the shelter. He had been fully supported her idea; during a conversation with Denise yesterday, he had learned that donations to the shelter had been gradually declining. He had suggested that they all go to breakfast at his and Alex's favorite diner and, after Catherine braided Alex's hair, they had hopped in the car and headed to the restaurant. While they ate their breakfast, every member of the staff had stopped by their table – all of them apologized for interrupting – to catch up with Alex. Then, since the manager had insisted that the bill was on the house, Alex had picked five random tables and told their waitress that she would pay for their meals before they left the restaurant. It had made him extremely delighted to watch as the unsuspecting patrons approached the counter with their bill in hand only to be told that their meal had already been paid for. Seeing the joy on each of their faces had made him immensely proud to be Alex's father. Alex, of course, had just sat there in a state of nonchalance, not showing any sign that she was the source of their happiness.

After breakfast they had headed to a nearby grocery store where they had each grabbed a shopping cart. Due to time constraints, they had all headed in different directions with him heading towards the meat department, Alex heading towards the canned goods, and Catherine picking up other dried goods. They had met back up in the frozen foods department where they picked up ten cartons of ice cream which would serve as the focal point for the surprise ice cream social Alex wanted to have at the shelter that afternoon. Over eight-hundred dollars later, they had loaded up the trunk and most of the back seat – there was barely enough room for Alex to sit – of the rental car and then they drove to the bank where they did a quick transfer of money from Alex's inheritance – she insisted that her donation be anonymous; she did not want her name to be reported in any media source – to the shelter account.

Then they had driven to the shelter, meeting Denise and other staff members, in the parking lot at the back of the shelter. They had unloaded the groceries from the car before Denise, Alex and Catherine started organizing the dried goods storage area while Steve and Jerome, the lead volunteer cook, restocked the walk-in freezer and refrigerators. Once they completed that task, they all assisted in preparing and serving lunch. Nearly all diners had remembered Alex from when she had volunteered regularly, leading them to all strike up a conversation with her. When the drink dispensers in the dining area got low, Alex had volunteered to replace them, dragging Steve with her to carry the milk dispenser while she carried the juice one. They had ended up not returning to the serving line due to several residents and lunch guests talking with Alex. Even though he didn't question Alex's safety, the protective father in Steve had resulted in him staying close to her, getting to know the people she spoke with.

Once lunch was over and everything had been cleaned up, they had headed to the classroom where both Steve and Alex were greeted enthusiastically by the children. After a quick introduction to Catherine, the three of them had been dragged to three separate sections of the room: Alex to the art tables; Catherine to the dress up area; Steve to the miniature library. Tommy, the little boy who had asked Steve to read to him last time, had waited until Steve had sat down in the bean bag chair before climbing into his lap and "helping" him read to the other children. They had stayed there for a couple of hours and, after multiple hugs from all of the kids, they had reconnected with Denise in her office. Then Alex and Denise had led Steve and Catherine on a walk-through of the facility, pointing out everything that would be fixed using Alex's donation. After saying goodbye to roughly three dozen people, Denise accompanied them out to the parking lot and, after she promised to keep Alex updated daily on the progress of the renovations, she hugged them all goodbye, thanking them again for everything they did for the shelter.

Then they drove to Pike Place Market, parking in the parking garage on Western Avenue. With about an hour left until their dinner reservations at the Pink Door, they headed to the Pike Place Fish Market, where Alex introduced Catherine to all of the fishmongers there. James, the fishmonger who had donated painting supplies to Alex for making the shelter classroom more than a year ago, had allowed Alex to help him with a few customers. She clearly had helped him with that task in the past, tossing and catching the fish nearly as well as the professionals. She had unsuccessfully tried to get Steve involved. When she had tossed the slippery fish at him, it had hit him in the chest and dropped to the floor, causing her to double over with laughter; Catherine had joined her in laughing. After bidding goodbye to Alex's fishmonger friends, they had headed back to the car where, thanks to his insistence on keeping a change of clothes there, he and Alex had both changed their clothes, ridding themselves of the fish smell. They had then walked to the Pink Door, arriving just ten minutes before their reservation.

During dinner, the three of them had continued to enjoy each other's company, talking and laughing with much gusto. After the waiter cleared their plates, they had ordered dessert and that was when Catherine had moved her chair closer to Alex in order to be able to view the pictures on Alex's phone. Thinking about their day and watching his girls now made Steve incredibly happy. They had spent the entire day together, not as a teenager with her dad and his girlfriend, but as a family. The love, compassion, and respect they all had for each other were that of a family. Alex and Catherine were his family; his life had never been more complete. His reflections were interrupted by the waiter who was delivering their desserts – tiramisu, gelato, and butterscotch budino – all of which they would be sharing.

"It's really good, isn't it?" Alex asked, seeing the smile of satisfaction on Catherine's face as she tasted the tiramisu.

"Best tiramisu I've ever eaten," Catherine said, dipping her spoon into the gelato.

Fork halfway to her mouth, Alex asked, "Are you okay, Dad?" She had noticed how quiet he had gotten when she and Catherine were looking at pictures on her phone. Plus, he was still sitting there, just watching her and Catherine, not saying a word and not eating.

"Yeah," he answered, giving into a smile. "I'm great actually."

"You sure?" Alex returned. "Because you love the tiramisu here and you usually jump all over it but you have yet to taste it." She pushed the plate of tiramisu across the table towards him.

He grinned. "I just wanted you two to get what you want before I eat the rest of it."

Alex shook her head. "You have to share. We each get a third of everything. That's the rule." She looked at Catherine. "Right?"

Her spoon in the butterscotch budino, Catherine looked at him and agreed. "That's right, Babe. If that wasn't the rule, I'd be fighting you for the rest of that tiramisu."

* * *

Slowly waking up, Alex heard the steady lub-dub of a heart beating directly below her ear. Still half asleep, she struggled to remember having fallen asleep on her dad last night. She remembered being very tired last night but could not recall where she had last been sitting before falling asleep. She blinked a few times; the darkness of the room told her it was still several hours before sunrise. From where her head was resting, she could see the glow of a digital clock, which told her it was only three-thirty in the morning. Then, her eyes now adjusted to the dark, she could make out a sleeping form on the other side of the bed: her dad. Which meant…

The words of her mom's letter coursing through her mind, sudden realization dawned on her. Slowly extricating herself from underneath the arm wrapped around her, she stood up and her suspicion was confirmed: she had fallen asleep listening to Catherine's heartbeat. She just stood there in the dark for several minutes, staring down at Catherine, until the panic coursing through her system became too much to bear. She then headed to the second bedroom of their hotel suite, climbing into the bed there, and, after fifteen minutes of having too many thoughts running through her mind, she turned on her cell phone – at this point she didn't care if she got in trouble for having her phone on at night – and texted Josh, hoping that he would respond to her text despite it being one-forty-five in the morning. It took a few minutes, but finally she received a response for him. She then spent the next hour and a half texting with him, telling him everything about their trip so far, her mom's letter, and how she just woke up to the sound of Catherine's heart beating in her ear.

When they finally stopped talking just before five, she was feeling a little less panicky, a little less stunned at what it all meant, but she still had a million thoughts colliding in her mind. Turning off her cell phone, she got out of the bed and headed to the bathroom. She climbed into the shower, letting the hot water rain down on her as she just stood there trying to understand the conflict and confusion she was now feeling. When her dad knocked on the door, it scared the crap out of her, causing her to startle and almost slip in the shower. It wasn't until she got out of the shower that she realized she had been in the bathroom for nearly an hour. When her dad and Catherine asked her if everything was okay, she had merely nodded before disappearing into the second bedroom.

* * *

"I'm just gonna go sit inside by myself, okay?"

Steve looked at his daughter. His eyebrow was raised in confusion. "What? You always like being out here during this trip." They had just boarded one of the ferry boats, headed across the Sound to spend the day on Bainbridge Island. Alex had been quiet all morning. She had not been disrespectful to them at all but she had barely communicated when they had talked to her. Even when they had stopped by one of the coffee shops for breakfast, she had ordered her food and then gone off in a corner by herself to eat. Something was clearly bugging her – whatever it was hadn't been there last night – yet she wouldn't talk to either of them about it.

"I just want to, okay?"

"Okay," Steve said, deciding to not push her again about what was bothering her. "Just stay where I can see you." He followed her with his eyes until she took a seat near one of the windows. With a sigh, he turned back around, resting his forearms on the railing.

"Still can't figure out," Catherine commented.

"Me either," Steve replied. "PMS?"

Catherine shook her head. "It's not that time of the month for her."

Her comment surprised him. "You know my daughter's cycle?" Maybe it was because he was a man but even he, who had lived with Alex for over a year now, didn't know when her moodiness was the result of PMS or something else entirely.

"Yeah, it's…" she trailed off, seeing the expression on his face. "Why is that so surprising?"

Steve shrugged before wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close. "You're amazing you know that?" He kissed the side of her head. "I'm so glad you decided to come here with us." They stood there together, Catherine's arm around his waist, just enjoying the calmness of the Sound. Half an hour later, the ferry approached the Bainbridge Island Ferry Station. When Steve and Catherine turned their backs to the water, Alex, with her cell phone to her ear, was walking towards them. Seeing them she smiled, saying bye to whomever she was speaking with, and then joined them.

"Who was that?" Steve inquired, noticing something in her eyes that hadn't been there earlier.

"Josh."

That explained why she was in a good mood for the rest of the day. She had immediately struck up conversation with both him and Catherine about what on their agenda they would be visiting first and her chattiness continued for the rest of the day. Neither he nor Catherine could figure out what had been bothering her that morning or what Josh had said to her to put her in a good mood again. Their confusion grew later that night when, for the first time during their trip, Alex had refused to join them on the couch or the bed to watch TV with them. Instead, she headed into the second bedroom, shutting the door behind her. When Steve had checked on her an hour later, she was laying in the bed, chatting on the phone with Alyssa and watching a Mariners game on the TV. Even though he still would have liked an explanation for his daughter's strange behavior, he had decided to leave it alone and left the room, closing the door behind him, and headed to the bed he shared with Catherine. After cuddling with and talking to her for over an hour, he finally closed his eyes for the night with a contented smile on his face.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. It's been a crazy week. I'm not entirely pleased with how this chapter turned out but maybe that's me just being my own worst critic. **

**They return to Hawaii in the next chapter so that is when the episodes will start re-appearing in this story. **

**Please leave a review on the way out. Mahalo!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Warning for some cursing. Also, this chapter references 3.03 and 3.04 so any dialogue that sounds familiar, I'm just borrowing it. (I really hope I was able to add Alex into it seamlessly).Thanks to everyone who reads this story. Special thanks to: **

**Guest: Thank you. I know my writing isn't perfect (or anywhere near perfect) but I have worked extremely hard to improve my writing since that very first chapter I posted over a year ago. **

**Craftygirl11 – Yeah, 4 and 5 were both in Seattle. This chapter has them back in Hawaii. Thanks for reading!**

**JMReagan – You explained Alex's dilemma perfectly! The confusion and guilt are so overwhelming. And, yes, I'm very glad Alex finally has a real family (even if she hasn't quite figured it out yet). Thanks, Friend!**

**Angel – Thank you! Alex is very charitable; it's one of my favorite things about her. I love how Josh is always there for her, too! Thanks so much for reviewing! **

**Pinkphoenix1985 – I still can't believe your read the last chapter 4 times! Wow! Haha, I love that you squealed. Thanks! FYI – You're going to like the end of this chapter! **

**Francis2 – Thank you!**

**FicreaderT – Hehe, yes, a girl can certainly dream about Steve and Cath getting married! ;) I have a feeling that Alex is going to start thinking of Cath as a mom figure even before Steve decides to pop the question. **** (Did I just give away too much of my story?) Thank you very much for your kind words. **

**This chapter hasn't turned out like I wanted it to but I'm posting it as is because I have to head to a funeral for a family member in a few days. It might be awhile before I post the next chapter, depending on my emotional state and stress level over the next week. **

* * *

"I thought the mission today was to get your first tuna," Steve said to Danny. After all, he was certain that _was_ the reason for borrowing Chin's uncle's boat. Since Catherine had apparently – she insisted that she told him – scheduled an appointment weeks ago for her and Alex to get their nails done this morning, he had nothing to do. That had led to him asking Danny to accompany him on a fishing trip for a couple of hours with the hopes that Danny would catch his first tuna fish.

Danny, who was sitting on the edge of the boat, asked, "Why does everything have to be a mission?"

Steve rolled his eyes. "The _goal_ is to help you catch an Ahi."

"There is no goal, there is no mission," Danny stated. "We are just fishing. What that means is that we just relax. We have a couple of laughs, maybe we catch a fish, maybe we do not."

Steve put his hands on his hips. "Well this right here," he said, nodding downwards at the boat. "This is called sitting on a boat and not catching anything. Just so you know."

"Fine," Danny said, standing up and moving over towards the cooler. "Okay, well that's where the beer comes in." He unscrewed the caps off of both of the bottles. "A few laughs; pretend we're friends." He handed Steve a bottle. "Right?" Steve took the bottle from him but did not say anything in response to his comment. "That's all," Danny continued, clanking his bottle against Steve's bottle. "Salut!"

"Salut," Steve returned. "Alright, what now?"

Danny sat back down in the same spot as before. "What now?" he repeated. "Well, we talk, you know. Shoot the breeze."

"Okay. Shoot."

"Uh," Danny started. "Any word on your mother?

Steve scratched his neck. "No, she's still on the island somewhere." Should he be ashamed to admit that his mother had barely crossed his mind the last couple of days? His focus had been on enjoying the trip to Seattle with both his daughter and the love of his life.

"Doing what?"

Steve shrugged. "I don't know. I got lines out."

"Is one of those lines Catherine?"

It took Steve several long moments to respond. "Maybe." He returned to sipping his beer.

"Huh," Danny muttered, giving into a laugh. "That's good," he added sarcastically. "Your girlfriend checking up on your mother - that should turn out _very_ well."

"Okay, first of all," Steve argued, "she's not my girlfriend." _She's the woman I want to become my wife._ "And second of all, she's not checking up on my mother; she's using her contacts in Naval Intelligence to locate my mother. Okay? Nobody's gonna know."

"Oh, no, no, no," Danny argued, holding up a finger. "Your mother is a spy _and_ a woman; she will know. Trust me."

Steve considered Danny's statement, finally deciding he had a legitimate argument. "That's a good point."

"Let me ask you another question," Danny said, holding onto the side of the boat with his left hand while his right hand held the beer bottle. "What is it with Navy SEAL's? Are they not allowed to have girlfriends? I mean, how would you characterize your relationship?"

Danny's question caught him off-guard. He knew exactly how he would characterize his relationship with Catherine: what had started off as a friends-with-benefits thing had turned into a deep felt love for one another. He loved Catherine and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Yet, he couldn't tell Danny any of that, especially not when Catherine had absolutely _no_ idea that he was even considering the idea of marriage with her. ""Well, we – I mean, she is – we have a thing."

"Yeah," Danny said, "you have a thing. It's called a _girlfriend_. Who, by the way, you are asking to spy on your mother."

"Not spying – locating, Danny."

"Okay," Danny said, even though he completely disagreed.

"Spy, locate; they are two _different_ things," Steve stated again, hoping Danny would understand it better the second time around.

"You have any idea where she's at?"

"No idea at all," Steve answered truthfully. "I'm doing everything I can to find her but, you know, my mother _was_ a highly trained spy for twenty years and she managed to stay hidden that whole time so she's not going to make it easy for us." Even though he wanted to know where Doris was at he also knew that if he contacted her she might very well decide to come visit him at the house. That would only lead to her meeting Alex which could open up a whole other can of worms, namely an angry, emotional fifteen-year-old girl. Although he knew it was something he would have to deal with at some point, right now he would rather prolong that by at least a few weeks; let Alex enjoy the rest of her summer break before wrecking her world all over again.

"What about your sister?"

"No. I mean, I haven't told her," Steve told him. "What am I going to say? I haven't told her yet."

"Wow," Danny said, staring out at the empty ocean. "That should be an interesting conversation." He felt for Steve, he really did, and he wished he had words of advice for him but, honestly, he had no idea what to say to his friend. It wasn't like someone had written a book on what to say to a friend whose mother had faked her death and stayed in hiding for twenty years. "What about Alex? How did she take it? What did you say to her?"

Before Steve had a chance to reply, something tugged on Danny's fishing line. Not even three minutes later, Steve was snapping a picture of Danny holding his very first tuna fish.

* * *

As she and Alex walked into Five-0 Headquarters, Catherine was on her phone trying to reach Steve on his cell again. They had just come from the South Shore Sailing Club, where they were supposed to have met Steve and Danny before lunch. Neither of them had answered their phones then either. Unsuccessful in her attempt, she put the phone back into her pocket as Kono stepped out of her office and joined them near the Smart Table.

"Hey, any luck?"

"Nobody at the marina has seen them," Catherine answered.

"They aren't answering their cell phones either," Alex said before walking away and disappearing into her dad's office.

"She doing okay?" Kono asked. She had heard the fear in the teenager's voice and that was concerning.

"No," Catherine replied, shaking her head. "She told Steve this morning that she had a feeling something bad was going to happen today."

"And now she thinks Steve and Danny are in trouble," Kono stated, putting the pieces together.

Catherine nodded. "Well, it's not like either of them to not answer their phone _and_ Steve wouldn't have been late for our lunch date." After their nail appointment, they had planned on meeting Steve and Danny at the marina. From there, they would drop Danny off at his apartment before the three of them would head to lunch and do some shopping at the Aloha Tower Marketplace. Then they would go to the hospital for an appointment to get Alex's hand checked out.

Kono nodded in both understanding and agreement. Danny and Steve practically lived with their phones attached to them. Neither one of them would willingly not answer their phones. "How late are they?"

"I was supposed to pick them up about three hours ago so I'm officially worried." Catherine looked down at the Smart Table. "Were you able to triangulate their cell phones?

"No," Kono said, shaking her head. "Both of their signals are dead or not functioning." She looked at Catherine. "Did they say where they were going?"

Catherine shook her head. "The only thing I could get out of Steve was that it was some secret spot that his father used to take them to. He wanted to get Danny his first tuna."

"Any chance that Alex knows where that spot is?"

Catherine shook her head again. "Her grandfather took her fishing in the ocean once but that was five years ago." She glanced down the hall towards Steve's office. "Poor girl is so upset because she can't remember where he had taken her."

At that moment, Chin walked into the room, letting the glass door swing shut behind him. "So they took my uncle's boat which means I should be able to get the location off of the GPS." Stepping up to the Smart Table, he pulled up a map of the island and then typed in a request to locate a GPS signal. A red dot appeared on a zoomed in portion of the map. The dot indicated that the boat was docked somewhere on the North Shore. "That's odd. Didn't Steve tell you to pick him up at the South Shore Sailing Club?"

"Yeah, why?"

Chin pointed to the screen. "According to the GPS, the boat's docked on the North Shore."

* * *

Chin, Kono, Catherine, and Alex climbed out of Chin's SUV that had just arrived at the North Shore Marina. Even though Alex had been seeking solace in her dad's office, as soon as Kono had told her that they had tracked the boat to the North Shore, she had instantly jumped out of Steve's desk chair and optimistically joined the adults on their ride to the marina. At that time, none of the adults had reason to suspect that something terrible might have happened to Steve and Danny. They simply had thought that perhaps the boat had experienced some mechanical issues or there had been a miscommunication about where Catherine should meet them. They had also assumed that maybe the battery in both men's cell phones had died. As they walked through the marina, Chin spotted his uncle's boat. "That's it. Right there."

"I'll go talk to the dock master," Kono told them. While she turned around and headed back the way they came, Chin lead Catherine and Alex towards the boat.

"Steve? Danny?" Chin said as he stepped into the boat, followed closely by Catherine and Alex. He reached into the hold below deck, pulling out a black backpack. Unzipping it revealed two towels as well as Steve and Danny's badges and guns. "They wouldn't leave these behind." Chin then opened a cargo hold, revealing ice and a large tuna fish. "Looks like they caught something so we know they were out fishing." He and Catherine turned around when they heard Alex retching over the side of the boat.

Concerned, they both approached her. Chin placed a comforting hand on her back while Catherine helped hold back her hair. When she finally finished vomiting, Alex pointed to the corner of the boat. "Blood." She had stopped throwing up at the sight of blood a few months ago but the thought that the blood was her dad's or Uncle Danny's – or both – had made her sick to her stomach.

"Chin?" Catherine said, spotting the blood soaked shirt. "That does look like blood."

Chin moved away from Alex, leaving Catherine to care for her, and picked up the shirt using a black latex glove that he had pulled out of his pocket. "Whose shirt is this? Steve's? Danny's?"

"It could be Steve's," Catherine said, stepping away from Alex and joining Chin. "I'm not sure." She turned her attention back to Alex but, seeing how green the teenager still appeared, she decided not to ask her if the shirt was her dad's.

"It might not belong to either of them," Chin suggested with hope in his voice.

"That looks fresh," Catherine stated, dropping her voice so as not to make things worse for Alex. "We need to check all of the local hospitals."

* * *

Finally back in Honolulu, Steve climbed out of the boat first, having spotted Chin's blue SUV in the parking lot. With Danny trailing behind him, he walked barefooted along the dock towards the vehicle and Catherine, who was standing by the driver's side door next to Chin. She met him at the end of the walkway, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Steve, I was so worried."

"Hey," Danny said, raising his hand in a greeting as he passed by them. "I'm fine."

Dropping one of his arms from around Catherine, Steve said, "We _were_ fine. We were lucky to find that boat but we were fine." He left one hand resting on the small of Catherine's back as they took two steps towards Danny.

"We were _not_ fine," Danny argued, putting his hands up in the air which let them all know that he was prepared to start ranting. "Tell them about the sharks." Turning towards Chin, he pointed, "Tell him about the sharks."

"Sharks?" Catherine asked. Her tone was one of newfound concern.

"_A_ shark," Steve replied. "_One_ shark and it wasn't a big deal."

"Of course it was a big deal," Danny argued. "What are you talking about?" His rant was cut short by Alex who, getting out of the backseat of the vehicle, shouted for her dad. Reaching him, she threw her arms around him, holding on for dear life.

Still feeling argumentative, Danny picked up where he left off. "It _was _a big deal, Steven. Trust me."

Alex stepped out of the hug but remained tucked against her dad's side, his arm around her shoulders.

"We're back on dry land," Steve argued. "We're safe and sound."

"You know," Chin said, disrupting their little spat. "You two need to spend some time apart."

Steve certainly agreed with Chin. Danny had done nothing but bitch and moan the _entire_ time they had been "lost at sea". Danny had even had the audacity to accuse Steve of being a danger magnet, blaming _him _for all aspects of their predicament: the guy with the gun who took their boat; the Tiger Shark who showed up near the dinghy while Steve was attempting to tow them to shore; and being handcuffed by the Coast Guard when they were unable to prove they were Five-0. Even though Danny later explained why he hated the ocean – Steve felt terrible that Danny had lost his friend Billy Selway to an undertow during a high school vacation to the beach – that had not been an excuse for Danny being a pain in the ass. Spending some time apart from Danny seemed like a great idea at the moment.

"I agree," Danny said. Before he got the chance to say anymore, he was embraced by Alex. He knew it was probably her way of getting him to shut up but either way it did manage to calm him slightly.

"Glad you're okay, Uncle Danny."

* * *

Before he had headed back below deck with Max to further inspect the victim's body, Catherine had pulled him aside to speak to him privately. She had told him that Alex had been the one to discover the blood-soaked shirt on the boat they had borrowed from Chin's uncle which, in turn, had caused Alex to vomit up the entirety of her stomach contents. Catherine's eyes had been full of so much guilt and she had apologized repeatedly for allowing Alex to go with them to the marina where the boat had been discovered. She had expressed feeling absolutely terrible that she had put his daughter in a position that had caused her to be sick. Then she had told him about how quiet and reclusive Alex had gotten while he and Danny's whereabouts were unknown. He had been concerned about his daughter, of that there was no question, but he had not been upset with Catherine. After telling her that she did not have anything to feel guilty about and reassuring her that Alex would be okay, he had hugged her and kissed her before asking her to take Alex to her doctor appointment. Then, he had approached his daughter, embracing her and reassuring her that everything was okay now.

That had been hours ago and now, after a long afternoon and evening of following leads, they had finally determined that the victim's _wife_ was responsible for his death. Arriving at home, Steve walked through the front door of his house, dropping his cell phone and wallet onto the end table. Taking a minute to pet an excited Anchor, he toed off his boots, placing them in an orderly fashion in the alcove beneath the stairs and then, spotting Catherine through the glass of the door, headed out to the lanai. Bending down, he kissed her and then claimed the seat next to her, resting his hand on her leg. She leaned down, pulling a beer bottle from the six-pack at her feet and handed it to him. Taking the bottle from her and twisting the cap off, he studied her; her distant gaze towards the water, coupled with the six-pack, signaled to him she had a lot on her mind. He just hoped she still wasn't feeling guilty about earlier.

"Babe?" He said, covering her hand with his and lightly stroking his thumb over her smooth skin.

"I'm fine, Steve," Catherine replied, her eyes still focused on the backyard beach. "Go talk to your daughter."

Steve sighed. She was _not_ fine but he _had_ told Catherine only two hours via text that he would talk to Alex as soon as he got home. Apparently Alex had remained quiet and withdrawn even after she had seen him at the marina; the results of her doctor's appointment had only added to her despondency. He took a long swig of his beer. "Where is she?"

"Garage."

That was an odd place for Alex to be. Setting the bottle down on the table, he kissed Catherine on the cheek, telling her to wait up for him – he wanted to talk to her about whatever was bothering her – and then, with Anchor padding along beside him, headed towards the garage. When he opened the garage door, he found his daughter to be sitting in the driver's seat of his Dad's 1974 Mercury Marquis. He stepped around the back of the car, stopping at the passenger side door. He knocked on the window before opening the door and sticking his head inside. Anchor squeezed his body between the car and Steve, jumping onto the passenger seat and giving Alex a lick on the arm before jumping into the backseat and lying contentedly with his head on his paws. "If you wanted to go for your first driving lesson, all you had to do was ask." Failing to get a smile out of her or at least a glimmer of interest in her eyes, he asked, "May I join you?"

She nodded and when he was inside the car with her, she said, "Hi."

"Hi," he replied, pulling the door closed behind him. "Whatcha doing out here?"

"Just thinkin'," she answered, her hands resting in her lap and her eyes focused straight ahead.

He waited for several minutes, hoping that, in the silence, she would decide to offer more. When she didn't, he commented, "Catherine told me about you getting sick today."

Alex shrugged. Her voice distant, she said, "I guess the sight of blood – which I thought was _yours_ – still makes me sick." _If only I had never had to witness that man get shot or be covered in his blood. _The only thing worse than actually vomiting at the sight of blood was the fear that she would always have that reaction to blood.

"Catherine feels bad that you had to see that," he replied, covering her hands with one of his. "And it wasn't my blood; Danny and I were absolutely fine."

That statement made her turn her to look at him. "It's not Catherine's fault," she declared. "And, according to Danny, you _weren't_ fine."

"Yeah, well," he said, expelling a breath loudly. He sensed an impending argument and needed to nip it in the bud now. "You know Danny… he likes to… over-inflate things."

Alex shrugged. "He always blows things out of proportion and you always make things out to be less dangerous than what they are. I figure the truth is somewhere in the middle."

Steve just stared at her for several long moments. "The details of what happened to us don't matter, Alex. All that matters is that we are okay and the blood was _not_ mine."

"You're still the only parent I have, you know."

"Alex, Sweetheart, I'm fine."

"Yeah," Alex agreed, "You're fine _now_. But I leave for Moloka'i in two days. You gonna get yourself blown up or shot while I'm away?" Realizing how aggressive her tone sounded, she apologized, "Sorry."

Steve gave her a few minutes to relax. "There is something more to this than what happened today. What's going on with you?" When she expelled a shaky breath and looked away, he attempted another route to get her to talk. "How'd your appointment go?" Catherine had already informed him, via text, of everything that had happened at the doctor's but asking Alex about it served as an opportunity to just get her to talk to him.

"Gave me a cortisone shot for now and sent me for an x-ray and CT scan," Alex answered, thinking back to that afternoon at the hospital and how that had only contributed to the inner conflict she had already been dealing with. "But they might have to do an exploratory surgery to figure out what's wrong."

"Yeah, your first surgery is always scary."

"I'm not scared of surgery, Dad." _No, my struggle right now is trying to understand how Catherine could act more motherly towards me than Mom ever did. _Catherine had, during her medical appointment, once again acted in such a caring and compassionate manner. For the last couple of years of living in Seattle, whenever she had been at the hospital because she was sick, her Mom would take her there only to spend the entire time talking on her cell phone, conducting business. On top of that, Catherine had also apologized repeatedly for taking her to the marina earlier; Catherine blamed herself for her getting sick.

"Then what is it, Alex?" Steve asked, lifting his hand up to allow Anchor to settle on his lap. "Today wasn't the first day you've acted like this."

"Like what?"

"Quiet and withdrawn," he told her, nudging her in the arm so that she looked at him. "And Catherine said you're still acting different around her."

"I'm not being disrespectful or rude to her, Dad," Alex swore. "Honest, I'm not."

"It's not an issue of disrespect," he said, covering her hand with his again. "You've just been… different around her the last couple of days." They only got back from Seattle yesterday morning so that made today the third day in which she had been acting strange around Catherine.

Alex expelled a breath. How was she supposed to tell him what was going on when she didn't understand it herself? How could she even explain it in a way that would make sense? She truly was at a loss for words. She didn't even know if it was possible to verbalize what she was feeling. After all, she couldn't even be sure that the way Catherine treated her was how a mother treated her daughter; she didn't have any experience to compare it to. Not that she could remember anyways.

"Do you feel like she's been spending too much time with us?"

Alex's head snapped to the right to look at him. "What?"

"Catherine," her dad stated. "Do you want her to stop spending time with us every day? Do you want her to start spending more time at her own home?" As much as he _loved_ Catherine being with them every single day, as much as he loved waking up to her beautiful face every morning, he needed Alex to be okay with it, too. His number one priority was still Alex and, if she wasn't happy, then maybe he needed to reconsider how much time Catherine spent with them. "And what about the trip to Moloka'i? Would you rather she not be your chaperone?"

The group that Alex had started with Josh as a response to bullying at their school, Heart2Heart, had been so successful during the spring semester – they had conducted numerous bullying awareness campaigns and anti-bullying programs, performed numerous community service projects, and met with Governor Denning and his staff about interest in pushing for a state-wide anti-bullying legislation – that the school board had scheduled the group members to visit the different Hawaiian Islands over the course of the next few weeks. The students and their chaperones would be spending time on each island visiting with members of each of the school boards, explaining the key elements of the Heart2Heart program, as well as meeting with students from those schools who had expressed interest in developing their own version of Heart2Heart or something similar to the group. In addition to the principal and other staff members, one chaperone for every two students – there were a total of six students – would be attending the trips. The first trip was to Moloka'i which, due to Steve's work schedule, Catherine would be acting as a chaperone to Alex and Josh while two other parents would chaperone the other teens. The second trip, which included visits to both Maui and Lana'i, would be chaperoned by Jason, and Steve would chaperone the third trip to Kaua'i. The last trip of the summer, to the Big Island of Hawaii, would be chaperoned by Steve, Jason, and Catherine.

"I like Catherine, Dad," Alex told him. "And I like having her around." She shrugged. "I'm just trying to figure some stuff out, that's all."

"I thought you were going to stop trying to figure things out on your own," Steve commented. "And start talking to –"

"I'm not figuring it out on my own."

"Let me guess," Steve said, his tone taking on an annoyed huffiness. "Josh."

"Why do you say it like that?"

"Like what?" Steve asked, completely in denial. "I don't say it like… well like anything."

"Like it's a bad thing that I have a friend who I can talk to about anything and who doesn't judge me or treat me like I'm stupid for –"

"I never said –"

Following her dad's example, she interrupted him, too. "Yeah, well, that's how you make me feel when you say things the way you just did, with the tone that you just said it in." She shrugged off his hand when he placed it on her shoulder. "And, just so you know, I also talked to Alyssa."

"I'm sorry if I make you feel that way sometimes, Sweetheart," Steve said, resorting to resting his hand on Anchor's back since his daughter didn't want any physical contact with him. "I just –"

"You worry about me," Alex interrupted. "You worry about me and you want me to talk to you about everything. I get that, Dad."

"I don't want you to tell me about _everything_," he argued. Certain things he really did not enjoy hearing about. Like her period, for example. Or anything that related to that biological monthly cycle. He knew it was a part of life but having to run to the store to buy tampons when she ran out… that was something he would never be comfortable doing. "But when something is bothering you I want to be able to help you. That's what I'm here for."

"You promised Catherine you would be patient with me," Alex reminded him. "You promised to give me time and space to try to figure things out on my own. When I'm ready to, I will talk to you."

Steve exhaled loudly. "Can you at least tell me a little bit about what you're trying to figure out?"

Alex shook her head and opened the car door. "No disrespect intended, Dad, but you're kind of annoying me right now." She got out of the car. "Think I'll go make sure Catherine knows I don't blame her for me throwing up earlier. C'mon, Anchor." When the dog joined her in the garage, she slammed the door closed, leaving Steve alone in the car.

* * *

The next three-and-a-half weeks passed quickly and smoothly for all of them. The Heart2Heart trips had been successful, setting up a network of student-led anti-bullying/social acceptance groups at the other school districts, and had also allowed for some exploration of the other islands. When Alex was back on Oahu, she and Steve had run together every morning, bright and early, with an average distance of eight miles. Then, if Five-0 had a case, Alex had either spent time volunteering at Kamekona's or hanging out with her friends. One day a week, Steve had resumed having a date with his daughter: Ziplining; rock climbing; a hike to the petroglyphs. Catherine had split her time between the McGarrett house and hers; all three of them had dinner together twice a week, if not more.

On the last Monday of Alex's summer break – the last week before she was due to begin her Sophomore year of high school – Steve and Alex had gone for a ten-mile run before meeting Catherine for breakfast at the Wailana Coffee House. Then they had spent the next four hours shopping for back to school clothes for Alex. If Steve had thought that last year's back to school shopping had been a test of his patience, shopping with a teenage girl _and_ Catherine had been even worse. Cath had only encouraged Alex's hunt for the _perfect_ shirt in store B that would match the _perfect_ skirt she had found in store A. By the end of the shopping extravaganza, both Alex _and_ Catherine had purchased numerous new outfits; Steve, on the other hand, had grown a few more grey hairs thanks to a couple of the short skirts and tight-fitting shirts that his daughter had insisted on trying on if, for no other reason, just to drive him crazy. They had all headed back to the house after that, cooking dinner and making dessert together. After dinner, they had all cuddled up together on the couch where they, much to Steve's discomfort, watched _Ghost_ all over again.

That had all taken place yesterday and now Alex found herself waking to the sound of a low growl from Anchor. Sitting up in bed, she glanced down at the spot on the floor usually occupied by the dog. He was standing there, his ears back, and growling in the direction of the door. She called him to her but, when he ignored her and continued growling, she strained her ears to listen, finally hearing someone moving around downstairs. Based on the dog's behavior, she knew it was not her dad or Catherine. As she continued listening, a cold sweat broke out over her entire body; an intruder was in their house. She quietly got out bed and, after grabbing a hold of Anchor's collar and telling him to be quiet, she slowly opened the door to her room. She managed to make it into her dad's room without Anchor breaking free from her grasp and without him barking at the noise downstairs – good thing he was very obedient to her – and quietly closed the door behind her.

"Dad," Alex whispered, letting Anchor freely roam around the room as she gently shook her dad.

"Alex?" He opened his tired eyes. "What –"

"Someone's downstairs," Alex whispered.

"You're hearing things," he said, "go back to—" At that moment, there was a clanging noise downstairs; Anchor started growling again and Steve instantly became alert. He sat up in the bed, swinging his legs to the side and pulling his shirt over his head.

"What are you doing?" A groggy Catherine asked from her prone position on the other side of the bed.

"Nothing," Steve answered, opening the drawer of his nightstand. "Go back to sleep." He locked and loaded the weapon, ensuring the safety was on, before pulling a second weapon out of the drawer.

"Something downstairs?" Catherine asked.

"No," Steve lied, checking the chamber on the second weapon. "No, there isn't." Another noise echoed from downstairs and Catherine sat up, climbing out of bed. Steve turned his attention to his daughter. "Stay here." He handed her the gun and his cell phone. "Remember what I taught you about guns?" When she nodded, holding the gun, pointed at the floor, her eyes wide with fear, he said, "Good." He touched her cheek affectionately. "If you hear gunshots or screaming, you call 911 immediately. Okay?" She nodded again, unable to speak. "And you only use this if you need to." She nodded again.

"Hey, hey, what are you doing?" Steve asked, turning around to find Catherine holding a baseball bat in her hands.

"There's someone downstairs."

"Which is why you are going to stay up here where it's safe."

"Don't be a caveman," Catherine replied. "I'm coming with you."

"No, you're not," Steve said, the weapon in his right hand and his left hand gesturing that Catherine needed to stay put.

"Then you're coming with me," Catherine said, moving towards the door. Meeting her at the door, his hand joined hers at the door knob. Steve waited until Anchor obeyed his order of staying with Alex and, once Alex had the dog by his collar, he opened the door. Making sure he headed down the stairs in front of Catherine, they slowly tiptoed their way towards the kitchen, which was where the noises were coming from. Stepping into the kitchen, Steve could not believe what he was seeing: his mother was standing there cooking! Exasperated, he exclaimed, "Mom!"

"Stop playing with your gun and come breakfast," Doris stated, amused at the sight of her son and Catherine Rollins standing there armed and prepared for an attack.

Steve placed his gun on top of the refrigerator. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to cook my son breakfast," Doris replied.

From upstairs a voice drifted down. "Dad?"

Doris froze in place; a pan full of eggs in one hand and a spoon in the other. Her jaw dropped as she stared at her son. "You're a father?"

* * *

**A/N: My apologies if the last section seemed rushed. I wanted to get this posted before I leave for the funeral. **

**As always, please leave a comment after reading! Thank you!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Not entirely pleased with this chapter (but, then again, am I ever?)… Actually, the only part I'm really pleased with is Alex's relationship with Catherine in this chapter :) **

**Thank you to the eleven of you (Eleven reviews for one chapter! :) ) who left reviews and to everyone who reads this story:**

**HBSpud: Thanks for the condolences and for reviewing. Hope this chapter satisfies your curiosity.**

**FiveOFan: Thanks for reviewing! **

**JMReagan: I hope this meeting of Doris and Alex suffices. Thanks for reviewing!**

**Angel: Thanks for the condolences and your review. This is Doris's introduction to her granddaughter.**

**Francis2: Yes, most definitely. Awkward conversations for sure… and not just for Doris. It's only going to get more interesting from here on out. Thanks for reviewing!**

**Guest: Thank you for the compliment.**

**Craftygirl11 – It's a long story but peace was definitely easy to come by at this funeral. Thank you for keeping me in your prayers. Thanks for the lengthy comment on the last chapter. All of your questions will be answered at some point **

**Another Guest: Was this actually you, Pinkphoenix1985? Sounds like something you would have written. Either way, thanks for your review. Hope this initial meeting of Doris and Alex lives up to your expectations. It's going to get even better from here **

**Sunny irish: Thanks for the compliment. Sorry it took so long to post this chapter!**

**Jenwiz: Thank YOU for reviewing. I hope you continue to enjoy the story. **

**FicreaderT: Thank you for the incredible review (and PMs). Good to hear that you felt I did a good job in incorporating Alex into that last chapter **** Thank you for posting your critique, too. I really appreciate honest feedback – absolutely NO offense taken. I definitely understand your critique and, perhaps, I could have written that scene differently. Thanks! **

* * *

"Dad?" Alex's voice drifted down to them again.

"Steven?" Doris said, still in shock that a voice belonging to a girl was calling her son 'dad'. "You – you're a father?"

Steve's mouth filled with air, causing his cheeks to puff out, and then he slowly released a big breath. _Let the fireworks begin._ He glanced at Catherine then back to his mom, trying to figure out his next move. When Alex called for him again, he made up his mind. "Give me a few minutes; stay here." Then he left the kitchen, brushing past Catherine, missing the look of annoyance she gave him as he did. She was not exactly happy with being left alone with his mother. The interrogation that started as soon as he headed upstairs only reinforced that fact.

"My son has a daughter?" Doris asked, finally setting the pan of eggs down on the island counter. "How old is she?" Studying a very uncomfortable looking Catherine for a few moments, she added, "Is she yours?"

"Ma'am," Catherine said, shifting her weight to her other foot. "I think you should wait to ask Steve those questions."

* * *

"Here," Steve said, taking his cell phone out of his daughter's hand. He could see that his weapon was lying on top of his dresser. "Have a seat for a minute." With his hand on her back, he guided her towards his bed, sitting down next to her on the edge.

"What's going on?" Alex asked him, searching his eyes for clues. "Who's downstairs and why did they sneak into the house?"

Steve expelled a tremulous breath. "It's Grandma, Sweetheart."

"Grandma?" Addressing someone with that term was such a foreign concept to her – she had never had a grandmother before – and, based on what she knew about Doris McGarrett, she wouldn't be starting to use that term anytime soon. "You mean your Mom?" She laughed nervously as she stood up and started to pace back and forth in front of him. "Your Mom is here? In our house?"

He reached out a hand and grabbed her arm, making her halt her pacing and stop in place. "Yes, she's in the kitchen." He shrugged. "I guess she wanted to surprise us all by cooking breakfast." When his daughter shook her head, scoffing at his comment, he said, "Look, Alex, I know you're not ready to meet her but we don't really have a choice at the moment." When she started to protest in disagreement, he continued, "Please, Sweetheart, just do this for me. We'll go downstairs and I'll introduce you."

"Then what?" Alex asked, her tone telling him she was less than happy about the situation. He better not tell her that she had to act excited about his mom being alive. Or that she had to engage in conversation with a woman that she already did not have much respect for.

"I don't know, Alex," he replied. He had absolutely no idea how his mother was going to react to meeting Alex for the first time. "But I expect you to be courteous and respectful," he instructed, standing up and placing both hands on her shoulders. "Please behave like I raised you with some manners. Got it?"

Alex expelled a breath, releasing some of the tension that she could already feel starting to build inside of herself. She had tried, in the weeks since her Dad had told her that his Mom had faked her death, to develop an upbeat attitude about it. Yet, her gut instinct told her that she couldn't trust Doris. That was going to make this more difficult than it should be but, for her Dad, she would try to be friendly and respectful. "Aye, aye, Commander," she replied, standing at attention and saluting him as she did.

Chuckling, Steve stood up and, placing his hands on her shoulders from behind, led her out of his room and down the stairs.

* * *

Anchor was the one who alerted Catherine and Doris to Steve returning to the kitchen. The puppy padded into the room, stopping suddenly near Catherine and, growling, bared his teeth at Doris. Catherine squatted down, running a hand through Anchor's fur and quietly telling him to stop. Stepping into the kitchen in front of his daughter, Steve said, "Doris, I'd like you to meet my daughter." Stepping to the side, he gently pulled Alex to stand next to him. "This is Alexandra. Alex."

"Alexandra," Alex emphasized with a tone that reminded her Dad only certain people were allowed to call her Alex. Her good friends and family were some of those people; Doris would now join Commander White in the group that had not been given that privilege. Before she could say anything else, the woman who she had just laid eyes on for the first time – she didn't even _look_ like a grandmother was supposed to look – and who gave her a really bad feeling in her gut, quickly approached her and hugged her. It wasn't until her Dad mouthed that she needed to that she lifted her arms from where they had been hanging at her sides and returned the hug. Even then she kept her body stiff, not really caring if it offended Doris _or_ her Dad.

Once Doris released her, Alex wasted no time in stepping backwards so that she was standing next to Catherine in the doorway. Hearing the growl that Anchor only emitted when they encountered someone that Alex did not really like – he had growled at Kailani Parker just last week when she and Josh ran into her at Kamekona's as well as the three upperclassmen boys who had fought with Josh at the dance – Alex had to suppress a grin. Even the dog sensed that Doris could not be trusted.

"It's so nice to meet you, Alex," Doris stated, smiling at the teenager. "I –"

"My name is _Alexandra_." Steve put a hand on his daughter's shoulder, giving her a look that warned her to watch her tone and which reminded her to be polite.

"Right," Doris said, giving into another smile. "Nice to meet you, Alexandra." She picked up the pan of eggs that had been abandoned nearly ten minutes ago and resumed scooping them onto a serving plate. "Why don't we all sit down and get to know each other?" She looked at Catherine and Alex. "Scrambled eggs, okay?"

"I, um, actually have to go," Catherine said, looking at Steve. Seeing the questioning look on his face, she explained, "Briefing at the base."

"Is that today?" Alex asked, glancing at the clock above the stove. "We better hurry up and get ready then."

"Where are you going?"

Alex looked at her dad, answering his question. "With Catherine." Alex saw the curious look cross Doris' face when she called Catherine by her first name – was that surprising to her, for some reason? – and then, glancing at Catherine, Alex hoped she would not be called out on her lie. "I can't sit in on her briefing but, afterwards, she's going to introduce me to some of the other Intelligence officers she works with."

Steve's eyes drifted to Catherine and he was surprised when she nodded in agreement. "C'mon, let's go get dressed. We need to leave in ten minutes."

* * *

"Thanks for covering for me," Alex said, pulling the passenger side door of Catherine's car closed behind her. She put her seat belt on as Catherine turned the key in the ignition.

"You're welcome," Catherine returned, putting her car into reverse and backing carefully out of the driveway. When Alex had fibbed about having plans to spend the morning with her, she had sensed that Alex was feeling very uncomfortable with her grandmother's sudden appearance. For that matter, she and Steve were also uncomfortable with Doris showing up unexpectedly and unannounced. Even though Alex had flat out lied to Steve, Catherine couldn't be one to judge; she, too, had lied about her plans for that morning.

"You can just drop me off at Kamekona's or at the mall," Alex suggested. "I can meet up with you later or something."

Catherine shook her head. "No." Glancing at the teenager, she continued, "Your dad thinks we're spending the day together so –"

Alex shrugged. "So? He doesn't have to know."

Catherine shook her head again. "He's already going to be mad when he finds out that we both lied to him about the briefing." Stopping at a traffic light, she looked at Alex again and smiled. "Sorry, kid, but you're stuck with me for the rest of the day."

Alex grinned. There certainly were worse ways to spend the day. "Okay. So what do you wanna do?"

"First: breakfast. Then how does a girl's day sound?" After Alex agreed excitedly, Catherine said, "Okay. Spill it."

"Spill what?"

"Why were you so anxious on getting out of the house?"

"Doris," Alex said, her tone dripping with disdain. "I don't like her."

Catherine gave into a small, amused laugh. "You just met her."

Alex shrugged. "So? I don't like what she did to my dad, Aunt Mary, and Grandpa." Angry at the situation all over again, Alex gave into a rant. "I don't like her because of what she did and I don't respect her because she took the coward's way out and _faked_ her death. My mom at least had the guts to look me in the eye and tell me she couldn't be my mom anymore. But Doris didn't do that; Doris lied. She lied and ended up destroying her family in the process." With a final firm statement, she added, "I don't trust her either."

* * *

"So that was Alex," Doris commented when her son walked into the dining room. He had already interrogated her about her whereabouts the last two months and then had left the room for a few minutes. When her son's only response to her statement was a sigh, she commented, "She's older than I expected." When she had first heard the voice calling for her dad, she had expected to see a girl of nine or ten. "She –"

"She's fifteen," Steve answered, sensing that his mother was looking to start a fight with him.

"Fifteen?"

"Don't start," Steve said, clearly annoyed at the thoughts that he knew his mother was having at the moment.

"Fifteen?" Doris repeated, ignoring her son's warning. "But you're only…" She looked at him from her seat at the table. "She was born when you were at the Academy?" When Steve didn't answer her, she commented, "I guess that means you weren't married to her mother when she got pregnant." When she had first seen the teenager, the first thought was that Alexandra was most certainly a McGarrett – she had Steve's eyes, right down to the long eyelashes, and they both shared the same smile – but the way the teenager's hair fell perfectly straight, her body shape, and the way Alex had nestled up beside Lieutenant Rollins, had made her wonder if Catherine was, in fact, Alex's mother. Yet, Alex calling Catherine 'Catherine' had destroyed that suspicion.

"Don't, Mom," Steve said, shaking his head in disbelief. Here she was, twenty years after electing to _not_ be a mother anymore, getting ready to pass critical judgment on his life choices.

"I'm just trying to have a conversation with you, Steven."

"No," he replied. "I know exactly what you are doing and, please, just don't do it." Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he said, "Do not sit here and judge me –"

"Steven –"

Steve shook his head. His irritation had only grown in the twenty-five minutes since he had spotted his mother standing in his kitchen. First, she had shown up after being MIA for the entire summer. Then, Catherine and Alex – and Anchor as well – had bailed, leaving him to deal with Doris by himself. Now, with every word his mother spoke – with every condescending tone that escaped her mouth – he found himself being forced to swallow many of the words that he would like to say to her. "Yes, I was twenty when she was born. Yes, I took a break from the Academy for a year." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Please do not sit here and talk to me like you are disappointed in my life choices. I don't need to be reminded about what you always deemed the acceptable progression of things: finish college, get married, and _then_ have children." Most of what she had taught him in regards to family had become moot on the day he learned that she had decided to fake her death.

Doris quietly sighed as she stared at her son. "I just want to know about her, Steve. She's my granddaughter and I was never told that she existed."

"That's something you will have to talk to Joe about," Steve replied, his eyes focused on the ocean in the back that could be spotted through the doors. "Only he can tell you why he didn't let you know about her."

"I asked you, too," Doris told him, remembering that first day back on Oahu. "I asked you who Alex was and –"

Steve ignored her comment, not feeling like he needed to address it in any way, shape or form. Instead, his eyes drifted to the set of luggage off in the corner of the dining area. Before he even asked his mother about the suitcases he knew that he would not be happy with her answer. "What is this? What are these bags? You're staying?"

* * *

"Catherine?" Alex said, setting her fork down next to her plate and sitting back in the dining booth.

"Yeah?" Catherine asked, setting down her mug full of fresh coffee and giving the teenager all of her attention. After Alex had expressed her extreme dislike for Steve's mother, they had agreed on heading to the Wailana Coffee House. After that, Alex had, once again, grown quiet. Understanding that Alex was upset and angry, Catherine had respected her silence, not saying anything to her until they had stepped foot inside of the restaurant. Even then, after ordering their food, Alex had gotten quiet again, sitting in the booth in quiet reflection.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"For being weird around you this summer," Alex answered. After deciding to come to this restaurant for breakfast, she had turned quiet, thinking about how Catherine had, once again, surprised her by covering for her. Catherine could have easily informed her Dad that she had lied about having planned to attend Catherine's pretend briefing with her. Every single day Catherine either said or did something that made Alex reflect on that night of her birthday party when her friends had commented that Catherine acted so motherly towards her. This morning, in the kitchen, had been another one of those moments when Alex had felt a strange tugging in her heart. "I've been kinda bi-polar around you, I guess." She shrugged. "You know: one minute I'm all loving and the next minute I'm quiet and avoiding you."

"It's okay." Sure, it was confusing every time Alex had done what she had described but it wasn't something that Catherine would hold against her.

Alex shook her head. "No, it's not. I should have tried to explain it to you even though I didn't really understand it myself." She started fidgeting with her spoon, tapping out a random pattern on the tabletop. "Still don't," she muttered.

"What don't you understand, honey?" Catherine asked, reaching over and placing her hand on top of Alex's, forcing her to stop making noise with the spoon. When Alex didn't say anything, she added, "You can try to explain it to me now, if you want."

Alex expelled a breath, releasing some tension. She guessed that it wouldn't hurt to tell Catherine about some of her confusion, hoping that doing so would help explain her behavior over the last two months. She just wasn't sure she was ready for her Dad to know. After getting Catherine to promise to keep this conversation between them, Alex admitted, "I feel like you love me more than my Mom did and I – I don't know what that means."

"I would never compare myself to your Mom," Catherine told her, speaking truthfully. She would never intentionally try to replace Cindy. Not unless both Steve and Alex wanted her to allow her to play that role. She squeezed Alex's hand. "But it is true that I love you very much. I love both you _and_ your Dad very much."

Alex nodded. "Yeah, but what does that _mean_?"

"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking."

"What am I supposed to call you?" Alex asked, her question explaining what she meant. "What do you call the woman who is dating your dad but loves you more than your own Mom? I just…" she trailed off, shaking her head in confusion and dropping her eyes downward. "I don't know what that makes you to me."

"Honestly, Honey," Catherine replied. "I don't know what that makes me either. All I know is that I love you and that I will always be here for you." When Alex's eyes met hers again, she continued, "Whenever you need anything – someone to talk to; a shoulder to cry on; someone to talk to about Josh – _anything_ – all you need to do is call me." She gave into a grin. "Even if you just need someone to agree with you on what movie to watch so you don't get stuck having to watch Jerry Springer with your Dad." Her comment had the desired effect – Alex laughed.

"Thanks, Catherine."

* * *

"She's beautiful, Steve," Doris commented, watching as her granddaughter toss a ball to her dog on the beachfront near Kamekona's.

"She's perfect," Steve replied, smiling at the sight of Alex laughing and enjoying life with her ever faithful companion Anchor. It was such a nice change from the seemingly despondent kid of only fifteen minutes ago. After wrapping up that day's case of a murdered, headless polo player, he had driven home to pick up his mother before heading to Kamekona's to have dinner with his team, Catherine, and Alex. Of course, as soon as she had seen them getting out of his truck, Alex had frowned at him, which had later only led to her barely speaking to anyone while they ate. She had even gone as far moving to the opposite end of the table from Doris.

He hadn't really blamed her for acting the way she did; if he had been her he would have acted the same way. As it was, he had not been particularly pleased with his mother either. Especially after she had lied about how Wo Fat had gotten away when she had been given the chance to shoot him. At the table, his mother had made small talk with his team and Catherine while he had kept an eye on his daughter, not bothering to reprimand her for texting on her phone throughout most of the meal. His team had gradually headed home for the night, with Danny leaving to pick up Grace while Chin and Kono headed out to a party at one of their cousin's houses. Catherine had been the last to leave, promising Alex that they would finish their 'girls' day' tomorrow – it had been disrupted when he had met them at Kamekona's just after lunch time to ask for Catherine's assistance in identifying an explosive device –and then, after telling him that she would be sleeping at her own house tonight, kissed him goodbye. As soon as Catherine left, Alex had taken Anchor down to the beach, where she proceeded to play fetch with him. In the fifteen minutes since then, her demeanor had changed from annoyed and withdrawn to happy and full of life again.

"I know this has to be confusing for her," Doris stated, tearing her eyes away from the beach to look at her son.

"I don't know if confusing is the appropriate word to use," Steve said, his eyes still focused on his daughter for a few seconds before looking at his mother. "She's spent her entire life not knowing what it's like to have a grandmother and then suddenly you appear. I would imagine that this is not exactly easy for her."

"Right," Doris agreed. "I would think it's hard for her, too." She thought for several long seconds about her son's comment. "She grew up without either of her grandmothers? What happened to her mom's –"

"Dad!" Alex's loud approach interrupted her grandmother's question. Jogging up to them, with Anchor – he was carrying a tennis ball in his mouth – at her side and cell phone in hand, Alex stopped when she reached Steve's side of the bench. "Dad," she repeated. "Can we stop by Josh's on the way home? He wants me to see the new guitar he got today."

"The guitar's not going anywhere, is it?" Steve asked, looking up at his daughter. "You can stop by there tomorrow."

"Tomorrow is my and Catherine's 'girls' day, remember?" Alex reminded him. "Please, Dad, can we? I promise it will be a short visit. Like, ten minutes."

Ten minutes to Alex really meant an hour, Steve knew that. It wasn't even that it would be a big deal to stop by the Sullivan's on their way home but that didn't stop him from messing with his daughter. "What's so special about this new guitar? How is it any different than his last one?"

"I don't know," Alex replied, sitting down on the edge of the bench next to him. "I can answer that once I see it." She set her phone on the table top while instructing Anchor to calm down and sit at her feet. "Please can we? I'll buy you lunch the next time we have one of our dates."

Steve laughed. "Are you really bribing me right now?" He shook his head out of amusement. "You don't have to buy me lunch. And, yes, we can stop by for a few minutes on our way home."

Alex kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Daddy," she said, grinning when he rolled his eyes at her comment. See, she didn't have to use the term 'Daddy' in order to get her way. "Can we leave now?"

* * *

**A/N: Some of you might feel that Steve was too harsh with Doris during the dining room scene. Sorry if you feel that way but I have always felt that canon Steve has been way too easy on his mother and I think he is long overdue for telling her exactly how he feels and how much her actions had hurt him. **

**Also, there is one part in this chapter that is a direct copy of something I wrote in a previous chapter. It'd be interesting to see if any of you are able to pick that part out. **

**Two questions: 1) in the scene between Steve and Doris in the dining room: did Doris' character seem plausible? Did it make sense that she would question/judge her son about how young he was when his daughter was born? **

**2) Do any of you remember who Kailani Parker is (she had a very brief mention in this chapter) or is/was she so minor of a character that I should have written in a reminder about her? I'm asking because she will most likely be returning in a future chapter. **

**As always, thank you so very much for reading! Please leave a review on the way out! **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thank you to JMReagan for helping me get started with this chapter (I had no idea how to begin the chapter) – one phrase in here are credited to her! Warning for mild use of language.**

**Francis2 – I agree with you. Steve needs to be much harder on Doris. And I absolutely despised how judgmental she was with Danny. Thanks for reviewing! **

**Sunny irish – Glad to know we are in agreement about canon Steve and how he's been too "easy" on Doris. And what you mentioned about Doris giving Danny parenting advice… that's exactly why I thought it wouldn't be OOC for Doris to interrogate/critique Steve. Thanks for reading!**

**Lynnrxgal – It will certainly be interesting to see how the Steve/Doris relationship plays out. I actually hope that it reaches a boiling point and Steve tells his mother EXACTLY how he feels about what she did to her family. Thanks for reading!**

**Five0fan – It's interesting that you brought up the house scene where Doris' mark comes after her… I've been doing a lot of thinking about that episode and how it will play out in my story. Seems like you and I have similar thoughts on that ;) Thanks for reading!**

**JMReagan – I felt that it was more than time for Alex to attempt to explain to Catherine about her confusion and odd behavior towards her. In time, she will tell her dad, too. Thanks for your kind words!**

**Craftygirl11 – Thank you. I really hope Steve cracks down hard on his mom at some point, letting her know exactly how he feels about what she did. Guess we'll have to wait and see what happens on the show. Kailani is a made up character in my story. We first saw her in part 2. This chapter should serve as a reminder of who she is/was. Thanks for reading!**

**Pinkphoenix1985 – Haha, I just knew it! Kinda scary I can pick out your reviews when your name is not attached to them! Thanks. To be honest, I really thought Doris would end up being more confrontational in the last chapter, too. Thanks for reading/reviewing!**

**FicreaderT – In time, Alex will tell her Dad about her confusion regarding Catherine. I definitely agree with you on Doris (she is still up to something and I don't like that she is still hiding so much from her son). You picked the right part: "She's beautiful"/ "she's perfect" is something that we saw in a flashback from the day Alex was born. John, in the hospital room and seeing his granddaughter for the first time, said, "She's beautiful", and Steve responded with, "She's perfect". **** I'm so pleased that someone recognized that from a previous part in my story. Thank you for reading!**

**Guest – Thank you so much for being a loyal reader! **

**Angel – Thanks! I love the Alex and Cath scenes, too! As for Josh and Alex… those two kids will be the death of me! (I guess that even though Steve said Alex cannot date until she is 16, she and Josh could still "date" without actually dating. Does that make sense?). Thanks again!**

* * *

"So," Josh said, opening the Ziploc bag that contained his sandwich. "How are things with your grandmother?"

Alex sighed, taking a bite of her peanut butter and banana sandwich. Her grandmother had basically just moved back into the spare bedroom at the house last week without even asking her dad for permission. Since then, she had done everything she could to avoid the woman. "Annoying." She shrugged her shoulders. "She's _always_ around and is always trying to be in the middle of everything. And, yesterday, she actually thought she could just butt in and join Dad and me on our morning run!"

"Really?" Josh said, shaking his head. He had only talked to Alex's grandmother briefly when she had stopped by the house with Alex and Mr. McGarrett on the day he had gotten his new guitar. She had been polite enough and had seemed genuinely interested in getting to know him, Sam and his dad but, knowing what he did about her, he had felt a little uncomfortable around her. He had found it difficult to respect her or even to like her; he just did not like that she had willingly abandoned her family. He was familiar with that kind of pain but he truly believed that his pain was nothing to the pain that Mr. McGarrett must be feeling now. Mr. McGarrett's mother, unlike his own mother or Alex's mother, had cowardly walked away from her husband and kids. Whereas his mother had looked him in the eye and told him that she could not be his mom anymore, Mrs. McGarrett had gone as far as faking her own death, creating a loss and pain so deep that it was a miracle either of her children had survived. Only to resurface twenty years later! What bugged him the most right now was that Mrs. McGarrett acted like it should be easy for everyone to include her in their lives; she needed to give her family some time and space until they grew used to her being alive again. "Did she end up running with you guys?"

Alex shook her head, sticking a piece of pineapple into her mouth. "Dad told her that it was something that he and I did together every morning. I actually think he wanted her to go with us and only didn't let her because he knew I would be angry if he did."

Josh nodded. He understood why Alex felt the way she did but he also understood why Mr. McGarrett would want to spend time with his mom and daughter together. He didn't say anything for a few minutes; the only sound around them was that of other students in the courtyard who were also on their lunch break. As he finished his sandwich, occasionally stealing a piece of fresh fruit from the container of mixed fruit in front of Alex, he studied her. Even when she shifted a little uncomfortably at his intense scrutiny of her he didn't stop watching her. "Have you been nice to her?" he finally asked, referring to a prior discussion they had only a few days ago.

Alex sighed, prolonging the need to reply by opening her bottle of water and drinking half of it before setting it back down. She shrugged. "I guess so. I mean, I intentionally haven't spent a lot of time with her."

"Maybe you should try… at least when your Dad wants to spend time with both of you," Josh suggested, holding off the impending argument by holding his hand up in a 'stop' signal. "Just hear me out, okay? Remember when _your_ Mom came back to Hawaii and, even though you were mad at her, all you wanted to do was be with her again?" Alex nodded her agreement and Josh continued talking. "And remember how your Dad reacted to her being here?"

"He was angry," Alex replied, the memory of those days all too clear in her mind. "He wanted to keep me from her so that I wouldn't get hurt again."

Josh nodded. "Exactly. And you fought with each other until you were able to make him understand that you needed to see her again for your own peace of mind and for clarity. Once he allowed you to see her, once he stopped expressing his disgust, distrust, and dislike of her and what she had done, things became easier for you. When he finally started supporting your desire to attempt a relationship with your Mom again, things got better for you and him."

"What's your point?"

"My point is that the same thing is happening now that happened then," Josh told her. "Only now you and your dad's positions are switched." When she diverted her eyes to look at something over his shoulder, he got up and moved to her side of the table, taking a seat next to her. He placed his hand over hers and, when she turned her head to look at him, he smiled at her. "I know you want to keep him from getting hurt again but maybe the best way to be supportive of him is to be courteous and amicable towards Doris."

Alex sighed. "She's living with us, Josh, and I don't trust her." Her Dad had been through so much hurt in the last twenty years and she feared that Doris would be the source of even more pain for him. That thought alone terrified her.

"I know," Josh replied, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "I don't like it anymore than you do."

"Then why are you telling me I have to be nice to her when –"

Josh interrupted her. "Because if she were _my _grandmother and had done what Doris did you would be sitting here telling me the same thing." He gave her an encouraging smile. "It's the right thing to do even if neither of us likes it."

"I guess you're right," Alex said, giving him a small smile.

"Of course I am. Aren't I always?" he teased, kissing her on the cheek.

"Hey, you two lovebirds!"

Seth's too-loud voice caused both of them to tear their eyes away from each other and look up. Their friend was walking towards them, accompanied by his now official girlfriend, and their friend, Tracy. Noticing that a good number of students in the courtyard were now looking at them – the sole exception was Kailani Parker who was _glaring_ in their direction - , Josh dropped his arm from around Alex and glared at Seth. "We are _not_ lovebirds," Josh stated, his glare intensifying as Seth and Tracy sat down across from them.

Seth shrugged. "Only because Alex isn't sixteen yet."

Josh couldn't argue with that but, still, Seth brought up a good point. "You do realize that if her Dad even _thinks_ we are "lovebirds" that I am pretty much dead, right?"

Seth laughed, pulling his lunch out of his backpack. "All I did was use the term 'lovebirds'. Besides, it's not like I say stuff like that when Mr. McGarrett is around."

"It doesn't matter," Josh said, reaching across the table and pulling the remains of his lunch towards him. Glancing at Alex, he smirked. "Besides, what were you two _lovebirds_ up to that made _you_ so late for lunch?" Beside him, Alex started laughing; Tracy's neck sported visible proof of what exactly their friends had been up to.

"Yeah," Alex chimed in. "Your dad said it was okay to date Seth but he might not approve of that," she added, pointing at Tracy's neck.

Tracy pulled a small mirror out of her backpack. Spotting the mark, she swatted Seth hard in the arm. "My dad is going to _kill_ us." Panicking, she stood back up, grabbing her backpack and hurriedly walked away.

"I better go try to help her," Alex said, imagining the fear that she would be feeling if _she_ was the one with the hickey on her neck. At the rate her and Josh were going, it wouldn't be too long before she was in Tracy's shoes. Shuddering at the mere thought of her dad seeing proof that she and Josh did kiss, she stood and started gathering her things.

"I'll get them," Josh said, looking up at her. "Go help Tracy; I'll bring this stuff to class for you." That was the benefits of having nearly every class together – he got to carry her things for her whenever he felt like it.

"Thanks," Alex said, bending down and kissing him on the cheek. "See you in a few."

"Geez," Seth said, turning back around to face Josh. "What's with Kailani? She's been giving you the death stare for five minutes now."

Josh shrugged as he started to gather their lunch trash. "I think she's still pissed off that I didn't go with her to the Sadie Hawkins dance. Plus, she called my house almost every day the last few weeks and I refuse to talk to her."

"I thought Becky Morrison asked you to that dance."

"She did," Josh confirmed, standing up and tossing the garbage into a nearby trash can. "And so did Kailani."

"So you had _two_ juniors ask you, who were a freshman at the time, to a dance and you turned them both down?" Seth shook his head. "You do realize that older girls don't usually ask out younger guys, right?"

"Yeah," Josh said, giving into a shrug as he closed the Tupperware container that had contained the fruit salad and put it back inside Alex's backpack. "Kailani must be stupid if she thinks I would seriously consider going out with her, not after the way she treats people, and, besides, she's not –"

"Alex," Seth interrupted. "I know – you've got it bad for Alex." Glancing back over his shoulder, he asked, "Does she know Kailani asked you to the dance?"

"Nope."

* * *

"So," Doris started, setting down her fork and looking at her son, who was seated on her right at the head of the table, and granddaughter, who was seated on Steve's other side, directly across from her. "I was thinking that maybe the three of us could go for a walk on the beach tonight."

"That sounds like a good idea," Steve replied, returning his mother's smile. He had so many questions for Doris and the confusion that had stemmed from knowing she let Wo Fat get away when she had the chance to shoot him only added to his distrust of her. Yet, despite that, he wanted to spend time with her, too. "What do you think, Alex?"

Alex glanced at Doris then looked at her dad, taking several long moments to respond. She couldn't exactly respond in the way she would have liked – she would end up grounded if she told him how she really felt about spending time with Doris – so she repeated Josh's advice to herself before replying. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"Have a lot of homework to do." It wasn't exactly a lie – she _did_ need to finish her second Trigonometry assignment – but the rest of her homework could wait until the weekend.

"Oh," Doris said, picking her fork back up. "Well, that's okay. Maybe next time."

Alex faked a smile and then shifted uncomfortably in her seat when her Dad gave her a look that told her he recognized her smile as not being real. "What homework do you need to finish?" Steve asked her.

"Trigonometry."

"Trigonometry?" Doris asked, giving her granddaughter look that said she was impressed. "Isn't that a class that juniors or seniors usually take?"

Alex shrugged uncomfortably, slouching lower in her seat. If there was one thing she despised most in life, it was having all of the attention focused on her. Even when it wasn't in front of a large crowd like last year's State Championships.

"Sit up straight," Steve instructed before answering his mother's question for her since he could see Alex's unease. His words only served to further his daughter's distress. "Alex is a great student. She makes straight A's and takes a lot of higher level classes."

"That's wonderful, Alexandra," Doris said, a proud smile appearing on her face. "What other classes are you taking?"

A glance towards her Dad told Alex that he expected her to answer. "Um, Honors English, Health, PE, Physics, AP US History, NJROTC, and Japanese Three."

"An AP class as a sophomore?" Doris repeated. "I'm impressed. Plus, Japanese is a great language."

Alex nodded but didn't reply as she pushed the rest of her spaghetti around on her plate. Even though Steve knew Alex would not take too kindly to him bragging about her, the proud dad in him didn't care. "Alex took two AP exams last school year and she did remarkably well on both of them."

Doris's smile grew. Her granddaughter was not only beautiful; she was smart, too. "What two subjects?"

Alex responded but only because the look on her dad's face told her she had to. "Italian and French." Seeing the curious expression on her grandmother's face, she explained, "I'm trilingual."

"Soon to be quadrilingual," Steve commented, a proud smile on his face.

"Yeah," Alex muttered, dropping her fork on the plate. "Dad, may I be excused?"

"You didn't eat very much," he observed, nodding towards her plate.

"I ate the vegetables," Alex said, giving into a shrug. "I'm just not very hungry. May I be excused please?" When he nodded his approval, she stood up. Picking her plate and cup up, she said, "Just let me know when you're done and I'll come back down to wash the dishes."

"It's okay, Sweetheart," Steve told her. "Just focus on your homework for tonight and if you need any help, let me know."

"Thanks, Dad," Alex said, turning and starting to walk out of the dining room. "Love you."

A few minutes later, once Alex was headed up the stairs towards her room, Doris commented, "It looks like you've done a great job with her."

"She's a good kid," Steve responded, taking a swig from his beer bottle. "I'm not one of those parents who live in denial – she's not perfect and does screw up every now and then – but she's still a good kid. I think she'd be a good kid even if I wasn't involved in her life." He set his beer bottle down and glanced at his mother. "But thanks."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Doris said, her motherly instincts taking over. "She knows that you love her. Sometimes that's all a kid needs to be successful." She reached over and patted her son on the hand. "And from the way it sounds, she's doing fantastically well academically."

Steve nodded. "Not just academically," he murmured, thinking about how great it was going to be to watch her compete in cross-country meets again this year. When his mother raised her eyebrow in question, he explained, "She was the Hawaii State High School Girls Cross Country Champion last year."

"That must make the boys come calling," Doris commented. "Brains, beauty, _and_ athletic. You must have your hands full." It actually was a little amusing to see how uncomfortable her comment made him. He must now understand what all of those dads of girls he used to hound as a teenager must have felt.

"You have no idea," he replied, knowing that it was only going to get worse with every day that brought Alex closer to turning sixteen. Especially considering that, even after spending nearly every second of the school day with Josh, she also spent so much of her free time with him as well.

Deciding to test her luck, Doris asked, "What's her Mom think about that?"

Her comment caused Steve to startle. Clearing his throat, he said, "What?"

"Her mother," Doris repeated. "I'm assuming you have full custody. What's her Mom think about you having to chase away the boys?"

Steve expelled a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "She, um…" _No, I can't be the one to tell her about Cindy. Alex doesn't trust Doris enough for me to do that. It would only hurt Alex if I did._ "Um, now's not an appropriate time to talk about Alex's mother."

* * *

"Alex!" Josh shouted, dropping the football that he was just getting ready to throw. He could care less that he was in the middle of the first practice of his sophomore season; his friend screaming in agony was far more important. He took off at a full sprint towards the opposite end of the field, ignoring the shouts of his teammates and coach. He couldn't understand what had just happened: the girls' cross-country team had just re-entered the track area, having just exited the patch of woods that served as cover for the running trail. Alex had been in the lead by quite a bit – he had seen that when they had broken from their huddle – and then suddenly she had slipped, landing hard on the track, before screaming out in pain.

By the time he reached her, Coach Sheehan and many of the girls on the team were huddled around Alex. Coach Sheehan has his cell phone out and was requesting an ambulance. Josh pushed himself through the crowd, dropping to his knees at Alex's side, and immediately grabbed a hold of her hand. She was in utter agony: tears were rolling down her cheeks, her breathing was labored, and she was grasping her ankle. Coach Sheehan thanked whoever was on the phone and hung up, setting his cell phone on the track. He gently untied Alex's shoelaces and removed her shoe as carefully as he could as to not cause her any additional pain. Then, he slowly removed her sock and watched as her bruised ankle swelled before his eyes.

"Okay, Alex," Coach Sheehan told her, "the nurse and ambulance are on their way." He patted her gently on the arm. "I know it hurts but they'll be here soon, okay? I'm going to go call your Dad." He stood up and, leaving Josh and Tracy – even though she was not fit enough to be a cross-country runner, Coach Sheehan allowed her to practice with the team to get additional exercise – to comfort Alex, instructed the rest of his team to back up and give Alex some air. Coach Sheehan moved aside, dialing Steve's number and, not getting an answer, left a voicemail. He then tried to reach both of her emergency contacts. Danny Williams did not pick up; Catherine Rollins did. As he hung up with her, two of the girls on his team, who were standing around eight feet away from him and not far from the spot where Alex was currently laying, beckoned to him with a wave of their hand.

Reaching them, Audrey pointed to the ground. In a hushed tone, she said, "Coach, I think this is why Alex fell." Squatting down to get a better look, he saw that someone had poured some sort of oily substance on the inside lane of the track. As much as he would prefer to not blame someone for Alex's accident, the feeling in his gut told him that his All Star's injury was the result of sabotage.

* * *

"I understand that, Sir," Steve said into his cell phone as he paced back and forth in one of the waiting room of Queens Medical Center. "But my daughter –" He expelled a frustrated breath as the Governor interrupted him. "Yes, Sir." Hanging up, he slid the phone back into his front pocket. "Son of a bitch!" He looked at Catherine and his team members. "He wants to meet with me in thirty minutes."

"But what about Alex?" Kono asked. The teenager's broken ankle was so bad – both the lateral and medial malleoli were broken – that she was currently undergoing surgery to set the bones.

"He doesn't care," Steve spat out angrily. They had been working on a case earlier when Coach Sheehan had tried to get a hold of both him and Danny. As such, it wasn't until after Alex had made it to the Emergency Room that he had found out about her injury. Catherine had finally gotten a hold of him as they were headed back to HQ, telling him that Alex was getting an x-ray and would most likely need surgery. Even though he had signed Catherine up to be a health care proxy for Alex, she still had wanted to know if he would be okay with her signing the paperwork okaying the surgical procedure. Having given her his permission, he had called Governor Denning earlier that evening to inform him that he was headed to the hospital to be with his injured daughter. Since their case had been solved, his teammates had decided to join him at Queens Medical Center. But now, even though the Governor knew all of that, he was requesting to see Steve in his office.

"Steve," Catherine said, stepping in front of him and placing her hands on his chest. His concern for Alex had been stressful enough and the Governor's request only added to it; Steve looked ready to punch a wall. "Hey, Babe," she said, lowering her voice to just above a whisper. "Calm down and go see the Governor. Take care of business and –"

"I need to be here for Alex and the Governor –"

"I know. I agree that he could postpone the meeting until Alexi s out of surgery," Catherine told him. "But they just started the operation and, with the time it will take for them to finish and for her to come out of recovery, you can still make it back here before she is moved to her room."

"Yeah." Steve took a deep breath. "If she wakes up before I get back, please tell her I'm sorry and that I love her. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"I will," Catherine assured him.

He dropped a quick kiss to her lips and then turned to head out of the room. As he reached the doorway, Coach Sheehan and Principal Kamiya approached the door. Not too far behind them were the Sullivan's, who just happened to arrive at the same time Principal Kamiya did.

"Commander McGarrett," Principal Kamiya greeted. "Sorry to see you again under these circumstances."

"Ma'am," Steve greeted, shaking her hand. "Bob," he said, shaking the hand of his daughter's cross-country coach. "Alex is in surgery. Her season's over before it even started."

"Damn," Bob Sheehan muttered.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Principal Kamiya stated. "I know this isn't going to change what happened to Alexandra but we've discovered what – or should I say who – is responsible for her injury."

"Who?" Steve repeated. "This wasn't accident?"

Bob shook his head. "Some of Alex's teammates made me aware of an oily substance on the track."

Principal Kamiya shook her head in agreement. Once she had been made aware of the incident, she and Coach Sheehan had questioned every single student that had been present at the time. An hour ago, she had met with the parents of the student responsible and had made them aware that their child, based on her previous misconduct, would be expelled from the school. "The student swears that she did not mean to cause such a serious injury. She said she just wanted to cause Alex to fall so that the other runners could pass her." Seeing the anger flash in Steve's eyes, she told him, "The student is going to be expelled. Rest assured that I will make sure of that."

"Who is this student?" Steve asked, starting to pace again with his arms crossed in front of his chest. Some classmate of Alex's had intentionally done this? This whole time he was thinking it was just an unfortunate accident. "I have a right to know who did this to my daughter and I want to meet with this girl's parents."

"Kailani Parker."

"Kailani?" Steve asked in disbelief. He thought things had been better with the older girl as Tracy or any of the kids never complained about her. "The same girl who bullied Tracy and was the reason my daughter got hurt last year?" Completely angry now, he stated loudly, "Kailani Parker caused my daughter to have a concussion and now my daughter has a broken ankle because of her! I want to meet with her parents first thing tomorrow morning!"

Before Steve could continue his rant – before anyone could even respond to his rant – a voice spoke up. "It's all my fault." Every pair of eyes in the room turned to look at Josh.

* * *

**A/N: Please leave a review on your way out. You know, your favorite part or line, the biggest surprise, something you didn't particularly care for… anything! Mahalo for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: 14 reviews for the last chapter! Wow! Thank you so much! :-D What would make it even cooler would be if all 14 of you could continue reviewing ;-) **

**Mari McGarrett – Two days?! Wow. Thank you so much. Glad you have discovered this story and that you are enjoying it! :) **

**AnonGuest – Haha. Nope! Alex will certainly not enjoy being stuck with Doris. Thanks for reading!**

**Narwhayley – I love Josh, too. **** I think it was very important that he compare Alex to her Dad… it got the point through to her. LOL, Doris is certainly irritating everyone isn't she? Even Anchor! Thanks for reading!**

**Five0Fan – Yep, poor Josh and his guilt. But I think he gets over that thanks to… well you'll see ;) **** Thanks for reading!**

**Sunny irish – I don't think any heart to hearts between Doris and Alex will be taking place just yet. Alex is going to be a handful to deal with that's for sure – she'll be going stir crazy in no time! Thanks!**

**Francis2 – Yes, Alex will be going absolutely crazy not being able to do any of her favorite outdoor activities. It will drive everyone else crazy, too, I'm sure! **

**Pinkphoenix1985 – Yay! I surprised you with something (since, you know, usually you can predict just about everything I write)! I think that a lot of the time things get through to Alex much more easily if someone points out her similarities to her dad. Doris is certainly trying to get to know her granddaughter but she still bugs me! **

**JM Reagan – Thanks! LOL about "channel"!**

**Gear's Girl – Thank you very much! Glad you are still loving this story! **

**Pat Toby – Thanks! Glad you, too, are enjoying this story! **

**Craftygirl11 – Josh explains his guilt in this chapter and I think **_**someone**_** ;-) manages to help him move beyond that. As for Steve: he's confused, just like Alex was when Cindy came back. He's conflicted – he's mad at Doris but she's still his mom. Thanks for reading!**

**FicreaderT – Yes, you hit the nail on the head – it's not going to take long for Alex to go stir crazy. She certainly won't make things easy for everyone else. As for Steve's reaction… continue reading … and, nope, no one blames Josh for Kailani's behavior. Thanks for reading!**

**Angel – Josh will get past his guilt in this chapter, thanks to one person in particular ;) Thanks for reading!**

**HbSpud – Someone will make Josh see that it was not his fault. It might just surprise you who ;) Thanks!**

* * *

As soon as Josh had expressed his guilt, stating that _he_ was to blame for Alex's injury, he had quickly apologized to Steve and then ran out of the room, violently pulling free from his Dad's grasp on his arm. He didn't know if it was fear that Josh would hurt himself again – he had worked very hard to find other outlets for his anger – or just plain curiosity about Josh's declaration but, for some strange reason, Steve felt extremely compelled to go after the boy. "Jason," he said, "mind if I –"

"Go ahead," Jason said, more than grateful to Steve for offering to go after Josh. Ever since he had picked Josh up from practice, the teenager had been driving him up a wall. First, Josh had been angry that he had not been allowed to accompany Alex to the hospital. Then he had gotten pissed off when Jason told him that they had to go pick up Sam and then head home to shower and eat _before_ heading to the hospital to check on Alex's status. He had understood that his son was concerned about his friend and it had taken all of his willpower to not yell at him for his moodiness. With Josh now verbalizing that he blamed himself for Alex getting hurt, Jason had reason to be concerned about his son taking his guilt out by attempting to break his hand; he hoped that Steve could prevent that from happening.

Steve left the room and turned right, heading in the direction that Josh had taken. He picked up his pace when he spotted the teenager stepping into the open elevator at the end of the hall; he slid into the elevator sideways just as the doors were closing. Josh, who was now only an inch shorter than Steve and had clenched fists, stared at him in shock. Obviously he had not been expecting Steve to come after him. "You planning on, I don't know, punching a wall or something?" Steve asked, deciding to take the direct approach instead of skirting around the issue.

Josh expelled a breath laced with anger, guilt, and regret. He considered lying but reconsidered when he thought about the man standing next to him. Alex's dad was a freakin' Navy SEAL for Pete's sake; he'd be stupid to even attempt to lie to him. "I was thinkin' about it."

Steve stared at him for a few seconds. He was actually very surprised that Josh had answered him honestly. "Well," he said, "if you want to hit something, you can hit me." Getting the desired confused look on Josh's face, he explained, "I'm as much to blame as you are."

"But Mr. McGarrett," Josh said, absently unclenching his fists. "Sir, it's not your fault Alex is hurt."

"Exactly," Steve said, with an agreeable nod. "And it's not yours either."

A flash of anger appeared in Josh's eyes. "It _is_ my fault!" he argued, clenching his fists at his sides again. "If I had –" He was interrupted by a dinging sound which signaled that the elevator had reached its' destination on the main floor.

As the doors opened and they moved into the lobby, Steve listened to his gut instinct. "I have to head to a meeting with Governor Denning but, if you want, you could ride with me." He shrugged his shoulder. "And, if you want, maybe you'll want to tell me why you think it's your fault Alex got hurt."

"Really?" Josh asked. He was surprised that Mr. McGarrett was actually offering to spend time with him alone and, for some strange reason, it didn't make him feel weird at all. "You'll let me go to the Governor's office with you?"

"Well," Steve answered as they continued walking through the lobby towards the exit that led to the parking area. "You can't go into my meeting with me but you can wait for me on the couch outside his office." He shrugged. "Alex won't be out of surgery for at least an hour, anyway."

* * *

"Kailani asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance," Josh said, not even three minutes into their drive.

Steve glanced at him. Even though Josh had expressed interest in accompanying him to Governor Denning's office – Steve had texted Jason to let him know that Josh was with him – he had not been completely confident that the teenager would open up to him. This really could be considered the first time they were alone together. It had already given Steve incredible insight into Josh – he had always known Josh was a good kid but this allowed him to see the teenager on a different level – and he wondered what else Josh would share with him. "Oh?"

"I turned her down."

"Okay," Steve said, studying the boy out of the corner of his eye. "Honestly, I can understand why you did – she bullied Tracy and many other kids and is, overall, just not a nice girl – so you shouldn't feel guilty about that."

"I –" Josh expelled a breath. "She called me all the time this summer, too, wanting to hang out or go to the movies." He looked at Steve. "I started having to ignore her calls because she wouldn't take 'no' for an answer." He looked back out the windshield, muttering, "That's why it's my fault."

"I'm sorry, Josh," Steve said. "But I don't understand why it's your fault Kailani caused Alex to get hurt."

"Because!" Josh said, anger at himself boiling to the surface. "She went after Alex to get back at me!"

Steve allowed him to calm down for a minute before continuing the conversation. "I still don't really understand, Josh," he admitted. "Why would Kailani target Alex if she was mad at you?"

Josh didn't answer right away as he debated on what exactly to tell Mr. McGarrett. After all, Josh hoped to date his daughter one day. He didn't want to lie to him but, at the same time, he couldn't exactly tell him everything either. Like how Kailani saw him and Alex kissing inside the glow-in-the-dark mini golf place at the mall two weeks ago. Josh wasn't stupid enough to tell Mr. McGarrett _that_. He finally decided that a few basic truths would suffice; he would refuse to delve into the issue any further than that. "Well, Sir," he started, timidly glancing at Steve. "When I turned down Kailani's invitation to the dance, she wanted to know why. I gave her the same reason I gave the other girl who asked me to that same dance." He bit his lip nervously before sticking to his guns and continuing on the path of honesty. Hopefully Mr. McGarrett wouldn't throw him out of the truck or strangle him. "There's only one girl I want to go to dances with and neither one of them are her."

Steve knew who Josh was referring to but stated it anyway. "My daughter."

"Yes, Sir," Josh replied. He shifted slightly in his seat so that he was facing Steve a little more easily as they sat in traffic at a red light. "Look, Mr. McGarrett," he continued. "I know you don't really like that Alex and I spend a lot of time together and I'm sorry if that stresses you out. But, Sir, I really do care about her. I care about her a lot and today, when she was screaming from the pain, it was the worst sound I have ever heard in my life. It was the worst sound in the world."

Steve just stared at Josh. It had always been obvious to _everyone_ that Josh was attracted - whatever that meant at fifteen years old – to Alex and, well, that attraction was blatantly reciprocated on Alex's part. Yet Josh had never – _never_! – verbally admitted it, at least not to him, and, to be honest, it surprised him that Josh was being this open with him. "Josh –"

"Kailani doesn't like that the only girl I'm interested in is Alex," Josh interrupted, his guilt still present. "Maybe if I had agreed to go out with her – to see a movie or something – she never would have did what she did today." He looked out the passenger side window. "You know, I would do anything to protect my little brother. I've gotten in fights protecting him and I would die to keep him and my Dad safe if I had to but Alex…" he trailed off, his eyes following a raindrop down the glass of the window. "I mean, I've stood up for my friends before but Alex is the first person outside of my family that I know I would take a bullet for if I needed to." He shrugged. "I don't know what it is about her but it just about kills me when I see her being mistreated or when she's hurt. It's why I tried to beat the crap out of those three guys at the dance and why I was ready to punch that rude, disgusting kid at the beach. I don't want anything bad to happen to her ever." When he was the bad thing in her life – that day, at his house, when she showed up after he hurt himself – he had realized that she deserved better and so, even though he missed her like crazy, he couldn't allow himself to hurt her with his anger. That was why he had distanced himself from her until he was able to be with her without hurting her. "I hate it when she's hurting, Sir, and today she got hurt because of me."

It took Steve awhile to respond. How was any Dad supposed to respond to a fifteen year old boy who had just, basically, expressed love for his daughter? Because, wasn't that what Josh just did? Maybe not in those exact words but wasn't that what his words had meant? As unsettling as that was, Steve felt it was more important at the moment to address Josh's guilt. "Only one person is to blame for what Kailani did and that person is Kailani." He reached over and tapped Josh on the arm, getting him to look in his direction. "Just because you turned her down does not make you responsible. Nobody blames you for Alex getting hurt. I don't and neither does Alex – this is _not_ your fault." He gave the teenager a smile. "If anything, I owe you a little bit of gratitude. Thank you for being there for Alex today."

* * *

"Okay," Catherine said, pulling Steve along by the hand behind her as she stepped outside of Alex's hospital room. "What's going on in that head of yours?" Ever since Alex had come out of recovery, Steve had not said very much to either of them. Instead, he had just stared at his daughter, his eyes tearing up every once and awhile before filling with rage. "You're worrying me."

"I'm fine," Steve said, lowering his voice so that his daughter wouldn't be woken up from them conversing.

Catherine shook her head and crossed her arms in front of her. "You forget that I know you," she commented. "Why do I have the feeling that you are considering doing something you might later regret?" She took a step closer to him, placing her hand on his arm. "Talk to me, Steve."

Steve sighed. "What's wrong is that my daughter is in the hospital because of some punk kid who thinks she's entitled to do whatever the hell she wants!" As if Alex having to undergo surgery because of a broken ankle that would keep her from participating in the cross-country season hadn't been bad enough, she had started vomiting in the recovery area of the OR _and_, not even an hour ago, had developed a scary looking rash all over her body that was determined to be a side effect to morphine. The morphine issue had, apparently, been something that had been passed to Alex from Cindy.

When he and Josh had arrived back at the hospital, they had walked into the waiting room to find everyone still there with the sole exception of Catherine. Kono had explained to him that Alex's surgery had finished but that she had gotten sick after waking up in recovery. Alex had asked the nurses to get her Dad and, since he was not there, Catherine had headed to the back to be with her. Hearing that, Steve had approached the nurse's desk, asking if he could be escorted to the back to see his daughter. The nurse had commented that hospital policy usually only allowed for one person at a time and that his wife had already headed back there – he had not bothered to correct her – but then, the nurse next to her, had informed her that the Governor had just called and instated an exception to policy for the McGarrett's.

When he had arrived at her bedside, Alex, still groggy from the anesthesia, was puking into a small plastic tub that Catherine, who was sitting next to Alex, was holding just under her chin for her; Alex's ankle, in addition to the stitched incision, had a plate and screws protruding from it. Once she had finally stopped vomiting, he had kissed her on the head and then took the tub from Catherine and delivered it to the nurses for disposal. When he got back to her recovery area, Alex had her head resting on Catherine's shoulder and her eyes were closed. He used that opportunity to return to the waiting room to inform everyone of Alex's status and then thanked them all for coming to support her. He had asked everyone to put off visiting her until tomorrow's mid-morning visiting hours.

They had finally been moved to the room where Alex would be staying for two nights. With the anesthesia wearing off, the doctor had ordered a morphine drip to aid in controlling the pain that Alex would certainly be feeling. Twenty minutes later was when Doris had showed up – when her granddaughter and son never showed up at the house, she had gotten concerned, finally getting a hold of Chin, who told her where they were – to check on her granddaughter. Not even ten minutes later, Alex had exhaustingly complained of being itchy. When he and Catherine had spotted several rashes beginning to form on multiple areas of her body, he had contacted the nurse and then, after thanking Doris for stopping by, had asked that she come back tomorrow. Once the itching calmed down – at one point he had to hold her hands in nearly a death grip to keep her from scratching – Alex had finally drifted off to sleep. That was when Catherine had dragged him into the hallway.

"Steve –"

"What I really want to do is drive to the Parker's," he admitted to her, his right fist clenching in anger. "I don't care that Kailani's only seventeen – I'm tempted to beat the shit out of that little shit! No one hurts my kid and gets away with it!"

"Okay," Catherine said, moving her hand to his chest. "I get that you're angry – I am, too, Babe – but you know that beating the shit out of Kailani is only going to make things worse." When he opened his mouth to argue, she put her finger over his lips and shook her head. "You're going to meet with her parents tomorrow and we already know that she is going to be expelled." Catherine glanced over her shoulder, her eyes landing on the dozing teenager. "You ending up in jail for assault would only make things worse for Alex." She shook her head, feeling ache in her heart over how rough the next few months were going to be on the fifteen year old. "This is going to be hard enough on her and –"

"Dad!" Alex's voice drifted out into the hallway. He and Catherine ended their conversation and headed back inside her room. "I can't sleep," she stated, spotting him as they stepped through the doorway. "Can you lay down with me until I fall asleep?"

"Sure, Sweetheart," Steve replied, walking over the bed. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and cell phone out of the front one and set them both on the rolling table near the bed. As he toed out of his boots, Catherine picked up her purse from the chair in the corner and started to bid them goodbye.

"Both of you."

"What?" Steve and Catherine said at the same time, looking first at each other then at Alex.

"I want you to stay, too."

Half an hour later, thanks to Governor Denning also requesting that Alex's double room be utilized as a single for the duration of her stay, both hospital beds were pushed together and Alex was nestled between him and Catherine. The TV was still turned to a sports channel airing a Mariners game even though Alex had fallen asleep only a few minutes earlier with her head on his chest, her ear tuned to his heartbeat. His left arm was stretched out, allowing him to partly embrace Catherine; his fingers absentmindedly played with her hair. When the game turned to a commercial break, he stole a glance at Catherine to find her watching him. He returned her smile, draping his right arm across his daughter's body and reaching for Catherine's hand. He squeezed it three times before entwining his fingers with hers. She smiled at him, slowly shifting her body – she didn't want to wake Alex – so that she could move her head closer to his. He kissed her chastely and whispered, "Love you."

"Love you, too, Sailor," she whispered back. "And I love your daughter, too."

* * *

As he headed back to the hospital from Alex's school, Steve reflected on his meeting with Trig Parker, Kailani's father, and Principal Kamiya. To say that he had been blown away by the meeting would be an understatement. Going into the meeting, Steve had prepared himself to meet some resistance from Kailani's parents when he told them that he was considering filing charges against their daughter. Trig Parker, however, had taken him by surprise, apologizing for his daughter's behavior yet recognizing that an apology would do little to make up for what had happened. Trig had informed Steve that the reason Kailani and her mother were not present at the meeting was because Trig had put them both on a flight to the mainland first thing that morning.

After the incident that had occurred last school year, he and Kailani's mother had given threatened their daughter with military school if she stepped out of line again. Up until yesterday, they thought their seventeen year old had taken care of whatever issues she was dealing with – they had taken her to a therapist in an attempt to get to the bottom of their daughter's ever-worsening behavior and ever-declining grades– but they had been proven wrong at five p.m. yesterday when they got that phone call from Principal Kamiya. At the beginning of next week, his daughter would start her enrollment at a North Carolina based military school for troubled girls. Trig had then inquired as to the cost of Alex's medical care, telling Steve that he would cover _all_ of the expenses associated with treating her injury, including her surgery, physical therapy, and follow-up appointments. He had even had his lawyer draft up a legal document and sworn statement that Trig Parker would cover all of Alexandra McGarrett's medical expenses that were a direct result of his daughter's sabotage.

He had taken a copy of the document, telling Trig that he would have his lawyer look it over and then he would get back with him. He glanced over at the envelope containing the document and wondered if he would actually forward it on to his lawyer or not. He could not quite figure out if he wanted to accept Trig Parker's offer to pay Alex's medical bills. He felt conflicted and needed to talk to someone – either Danny or Catherine or maybe both – about the situation. His issue was this: it was his, Steve's, responsibility as Alex's father to pay for her healthcare. Would accepting Trig's offer reflect badly on him as a father?

* * *

**A/N: I know this chapter is shorter than normal but I wanted to post it anyway. Hope you don't mind! I also know that a major portion of this chapter was Josh/Steve centric – hope you don't mind! Three questions: 1) do you think Steve should accept Trig's offer to cover Alex's medical expenses? **

**2) Did Josh and Steve's conversation seem plausible to you OR were you at all surprised by any of it?**

**3) What was your favorite part in this chapter?**

**As always, thank you for reading! Please leave a review on the way out! **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: You all are awesome! This story is now averaging 10 reviews a chapter (that's more than either of the first two installments of this series) so THANK YOU! This chapter is essentially fluff… it does not mention any of the episodes and it's just full of… fluff. LOL. Hope you enjoy! **

**Guest – Thank you for the compliment. :) The more you write, the better it gets and I can definitely say that I feel like my writing has improved drastically since that very first chapter I ever posted. That said, I still think it needs to be improved. **

**Pinkphoenix1985 – Haha, Joeve! Love it! That conversation was definitely one that improved their relationship. Family bonding… I loved it, too!**

**AnonGuest – Thank you. It seems like we had the same thoughts as for what they would do about Trig's offer to pay for the medical bills. **** Glad you enjoyed the Steve/Josh conversation… I loved it, too!**

**Mari McGarrett – Thanks! Glad you discovered this story! **

**Angel – Yep, I agree that the conversation between Steve and Josh took their relationship to a new level that will help out in the future. Thanks for reading!**

**Francis2 – I agree with you. Hope this solution to Trig's offer is acceptable. Steve/Josh was my favorite part, too! Thanks for reading!**

**Ircam – Thanks. Steve definitely acknowledges that Catherine is a huge part of Alex's life and he is starting to realize that he needs to consider taking the next step ;) Thanks for reading!**

**Sunny irish – Thank you! Josh/Steve was my favorite part, too! **

**JM Reagan – I knew you would like the Steve/Josh conversation :D thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**Craftygirl11 – Thanks for your review. Kailani certainly deserved to be expelled. As for the Navy Academy, you will have to wait and see ;) As for Doris, we will have to give it some time. Thanks again!**

**FicreaderT – Steve realizes what Cath is to him and Alex and he knows that he probably should take the next step in making her a permanent fixture in their lives. Yet, he's hesitant, too, based on his past experience with popping the question. Be patient and I'm sure at some point you will be happy with the result ;) :D Thanks for reading!**

**Rolodexthoughts - Josh is a pretty awesome kid, isn't he! I loved that whole part with him and Steve **** Thanks for your review!**

* * *

Alex woke up to the sound of a steady heartbeat in her ear and a dull throbbing in her ankle. A faint ray of light was shining through the small crack between the two curtains that had been pulled shut by Doris before she had left last night. She felt warm, maybe slightly feverish, but that could be due to the fact that she was cocooned between her Dad and Catherine. Feeling an arm draped over her abdomen, she glanced down and couldn't help but smile. Catherine's arm was draped over her, her hand resting palm down on her dad's stomach; her dad's right hand covered Catherine's. They loved each other and that made her happy. Her smile widened and, as she buried her face deeper into her dad's t-shirt, inhaling the scent of their favorite laundry detergent, she covered both of their hands with hers and sighed contentedly. She had been oblivious to the fact that her dad and Catherine were both awake, watching her. When she closed her eyes and snuggled tighter against Steve's side, they both looked at each other with love in their eyes and smiled. Whether or not either of them realized it or not, the three of them were a family.

They lay there for several minutes, just enjoying each other's presence, until Steve felt an involuntary flinch in his daughter's hand accompanied by a stifled groan. "You okay?"

Alex lifted her head, scooting a little higher on the bed, and then laid her head on his shoulder. "It hurts a little."

Steve moved his arm from around his girls and looked at his watch. "The nurse should be in soon to check your vitals, change the bandage, and give you some more pain meds."

"It's bad, isn't it?" Alex asked him, looking at him and refusing to look down at her ankle.

"Yeah," he replied, brushing hair off of her forehead. "You're going to be out of commission for awhile."

Alex frowned. "How long?"

Steve glanced over his daughter's head at Catherine. They both knew that Alex would not be happy when she found out how long her recovery would be. This was only the start of what would probably be several long and trying months of dealing with an unhappy Alex. "It will take at least six to eight weeks for the bones to heal and then another three to four months for you to get back to daily tasks. Although," he added, wanting to be completely upfront with her from the beginning. "It will take longer than that for you to be able to run again." He watched as understanding filled his daughter's eyes and hated the tears that brimmed on her eyelids.

Hearing her dad's words – hearing the truth about her ankle injury – hit Alex like a punch to the gut. It wasn't just that she would not be able to run for the cross-country team this year or with her dad in the mornings. There were so many other things that she would also be prohibited from doing: riding her bike; swimming (at least not until the stitches had healed); surfing; rock climbing; hiking. Heck, even playing the piano was out since – okay, technically she still could play the piano but it just wasn't the same without the use of a foot pedal – as was playing fetch with Anchor or taking him for a walk. She wouldn't even be able to take driving lessons with her dad since it was her driving foot that was broken. She wouldn't even be able to walk up the stairs to her bedroom or take a shower by herself. Her situation simply sucked and the worst part was that she didn't even understand how she had gotten hurt in the first place.

"I don't get what happened."

"What do you mean, Honey?" Catherine asked, running her hand through Alex's hair, untangling it as she did.

"How I fell," the teenager replied. "I remember running – it was a really good run – and I remember exiting the tree line and stepping onto the track and then, suddenly, I was on the ground and I was in the worst pain I've ever been in." She shook her head. "I'm not that clumsy – I just don't fall down without a reason."

"Yeah," Steve and Catherine both murmured, looking at each other. Steve cleared his throat; he had no intention of going into details right now about what exactly had led to Alex getting hurt. "I have an idea. How about I go track down the nurse and see if she can get an okay from the doctor for us to go downstairs for a little bit? Maybe the healing garden and breakfast in the cafeteria?"

* * *

"Cath?" Steve said, stopping in his tracks and backtracking to the entrance of the waiting room. He was surprised to see her there and not in Alex's room considering the conversation they had both had with Alex yesterday morning in the healing garden. Alex had told them that she didn't want to be left alone during her hospital stay and had asked if they could both stay with her until she was released. Steve had promised to be there with her when he was not working a case while Catherine had promised to be there when Steve couldn't be. With the exception of running to their respective homes for showers and a change of clothes – Anchor was staying with the Sullivan's – they both had spent all day yesterday with her. Early that morning, however, Steve had been called to a case, leaving Catherine to take care of Alex's discharge paperwork. At lunch time, she had texted him, letting him know that Alex would not be released today due to her running a fever and not having had a bowel movement since her operation. With any luck, she would be released and sent home tomorrow.

It was now six-thirty and, after running home for his traditional three-minute Navy shower, he had headed straight here, not even bothering to grab a bite to eat first. "Cath?" he repeated, stepping into the waiting room. "What's wrong? Did something –"

"No," Catherine interrupted him, getting out of the chair she had been sitting in and stepping towards him. She placed a feathery light kiss to his lips. "Everything's fine." She smiled when the panic disappeared from his face. "Jason dropped Josh off for a little while so I came out here so they could talk."

Steve frowned. "You left two teenagers, one of whom is wearing a skimpy hospital gown, alone?" He turned and headed back out of the room, turning right into the hallway; Catherine followed him. "What if they closed the door?" Sure, he had a good conversation with Josh the other night and he truly believed that Josh did care about Alex and wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt her but they were still teenagers.

"They didn't," Catherine said, remembering the instructions she had given Josh before she had left the room. "See," she stated when Alex's room came into sight. She reached out and grabbed his hand, tugging on it until he stopped and looked at her. "Do _not_ cause a scene."

"Cath –"

She shook her head. "Josh being here put a smile on her face for the first time since we told her about Kailani." Yesterday afternoon the three of them were watching TV when Alex had once again stated confusion about what had caused her to fall and get hurt. That was when Steve had decided to end her confusion by telling her that Kailani Parker had spilled some sort of oily substance on the track and _that_ was what had made Alex slip. Catherine had then informed her of Kailani's expulsion and how she was no longer on Oahu. Alex hadn't said anything in response instead she had grown crestfallen and had refused to smile despite their attempts in humor. "Don't you _dare_ do something to ruin that, got it?"

"Alright, Lieutenant," Steve said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. Catherine had always been good at putting her foot down when it was necessary but her tendency to do so had increased after she started spending more time with Alex. "I won't make a scene," he told her before his eyes scanned the entire length of her body and a smirk quickly appeared on his face at the memory. "_Unless_," he said, his smirk turning into a grimace, "they are doing any of the things that _we_ did the last time _I _was in a hospital gown." Appreciating the blush that appeared on her cheeks, he added, "If they are, I can't promise that I won't throw Josh out the window."

They continued walking down the hall towards Alex's room, stopping just short of the doorway to look through the window into the interior of the room. Alex was sitting up in bed with the blanket pulled up to her armpits – Steve was very much relieved to see that the only skin of his daughter's that Josh could see was her face, neck, and arms – and Josh was seated next to her, on top of the blanket, with enough space between them to not cause Steve a heart attack. The surface of the rollaway table was open so that it was over the bed and a laptop was open on top of it. The two teens were watching whatever was on the screen, occasionally speaking to one another briefly before returning their attention to the laptop.

"Okay," Steve said, glancing down at Catherine, "they're behaving themselves."

"Yes, they are," Catherine returned, tearing her attention away from the teens to look at Steve. "They'll be bringing Alex's dinner soon and, unless I'm mistaken, I just heard your stomach rumble."

He grinned sheepishly. "I may have skipped lunch."

Catherine shook her head; it wouldn't be the first time he had skipped a meal. Or two. "I haven't had dinner yet. Wanna enjoy the fine dining experience offered by the Queens Medical Center Cafeteria?"

"I'd love to," he said, giving into a smile and holding his hand out for her to take. When she took his hand, he entwined his fingers with hers and then turned, heading back in the direction they had just come.

* * *

"So we have to pick one of those topics and come up with a project based on it?" Alex asked as Josh leaned forward and pushing a few buttons on the laptop. He had stopped by after football practice to bring in-class assignment and homework that she had and would be missing out for the week. One of those assignments was for AP US History which consisted of the six different short PowerPoint presentations about important British legislative acts that led up to the American Revolution – The Sugar Act; Currency Act; Stamp Act; and the Townshend-Revenue Act – that they had just watched.

"Yeah," he confirmed, closing the screen of the laptop. "It's a pretty open-ended assignment," he told her, settling back into his previous position. "In the past, some students have made videos. Others have written papers. Rob Cagle said that he's thinking about going 'in character' as one of the colonists and be interviewed about the political climate, fears, friction and turmoil of that time." He shrugged. "We have to be sure to address any key players, what events led up to the Act being imposed, and what happened as a result of the Act. Other than that, we can do anything we want."

"How long do we have?"

"Four weeks," Josh answered. "Oh, and, we're allowed to work in pairs but, if so, the project has to be worthy of two people having worked on it." He shrugged again. "So, um, think about it and if you want to work together on it, just let me know."

Alex smiled at him. "I'd like to work on it with you." She shrugged. "Wanna spend the next couple of days coming up with a list of ideas and then we can get together on Friday night or Saturday to decide?"

"Sounds good," he said, returning her smile.

"What else?" she asked him, nodding towards the stack of textbooks he had set on the chair in the room.

"You have a Japanese test next week," he answered, his eyes focused on the textbooks. "But your teacher said you can postpone it if you need to." He thought for a few moments. "Um, there are a couple of trig assignments from the book – I wrote the pages and question numbers down for you – and the same for Physics. For English, we have a couple of grammar worksheets and also a list of readings that are based on transcendentalism. You'll see the assignment sheet in your notebook." Due to their blocked schedule of classes, half of Alex's class materials were still in her locker. After practice today and before his Dad had picked him up, he had headed to Alex's locker where, thanks to knowing the combination, he had opened it and grabbed the textbooks and notebooks that she would need for her assignments. "There are a couple of chapters in the health book to read and you'll have quizzes on those when you get back to school." He turned his head and looked at her. "Enough to keep your mind off of your ankle."

"Yeah," she muttered, laying her head back against the upright portion of the bed. "My dad told me what happened." She looked at him. "Kailani."

Josh nodded, swallowing the lump of guilt in his throat. "Yeah," he replied, his eyes downcast for several long moments. "I think she did it to get back at me." He lifted his eyes, looking at Alex again. "I'm sorry."

"Get back at you?"

Josh nodded and sighed. "She asked me to that Sadie Hawkins dance and she kept calling me all summer."

"Oh." That still didn't explain why Kailani would want to retaliate by targeting her.

"I turned her down," he told her. "Every single time."

"That still doesn't make it your fault," Alex told him, entwining her fingers with his and stroking her thumb along the back of his hand.

"That's what your Dad said."

"You talked to my Dad about feeling guilty?"

Josh nodded. "The other night during your surgery." He shrugged. "I told him about turning Kailani down and the reason why I did. I mean, besides the obvious part of me just not liking her." He brought his eyes up from their joined hands to look her in the eyes. "I told him that there's only one girl I ever want to go to a dance with."

Alex's mouth dropped open in shock. "You told my Dad how you feel about me?"

"Well, yeah," Josh replied. He actually didn't think Mr. McGarrett had been all that surprised by what he had told him. After all, he was fairly certain that nearly everyone sensed that he and Alex would start dating once she turned sixteen. It wasn't like it was any secret that he and Alex had a special kind of relationship.

"And you're still alive?"

Josh laughed a laugh that was a combination of nervousness and disbelief. "Yeah, it's a miracle, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Alex murmured before clearing her throat and speaking. "It's not your fault, Josh, okay?" She kissed his cheek. "Please don't feel guilty about this. It's not your fault and I don't blame you."

"Okay," he told her. "I'll try."

"Good," she said, giving into a smile. They gazed at each other for several long moments and then they closed the distance between them, bringing their lips together.

The sound of someone clearing their throat forced them apart less than a minute later. "Uh, hi, Dad," Josh greeted, unable to wipe the grin off of his face.

* * *

"Leave me alone!" Alex shouted, looking up at Doris from her spot on the couch. "I –"

"Alex!" Catherine interrupted, stepping through the front door of the house. "Why are you yelling?"

"She keeps bugging me," Alex replied before turning her sights back on Doris. Glaring, she yelled, "I don't want a stupid snack!"

"There is no need for you to yell at me," Doris stated, her arms crossed in front of her in a way that reminded Alex of her dad. "All I did was –"

"You keep checking on me every five minutes," Alex interrupted. "I don't need your help with _anything_!"

"Oh, don't exaggerate, Alexandra," Doris returned. The teenager's moodiness did not faze her in the least; she'd already been through it all with Steve. "I checked on you _twice_ in the last hour."

"I don't care!" Alex screamed. "I told you the first time –"

"Okay, that's enough," Catherine interrupted, sending a look of disappointment in Alex's direction. "You need to relax," she told the teenager. "I understand that you're bored and that you hate being stuck in the house all day but that does not give you the right to yell at your grandmother."

"Catherine –"

"No," Catherine interrupted again, shaking her head. "You owe her an apology."

Alex narrowed her eyes at Catherine. She did _not_ appreciate Catherine taking Doris' side on this, especially since Catherine knew she couldn't stand her Dad's mom. "Fine." She turned her head to look at Doris. "I'm sorry, _Mrs_. _McGarrett_," she apologized, not oblivious to the look of shock and displeasure on Doris' face when she called her by her last name. "I should not have taken my frustration out on you."

"Thank you," Doris said. "Believe it or not, Alexandra, I'm here to help when you need something. I care about you."

A look from Catherine made Alex refrain from saying what she wanted to. Instead, she chose to pick up her iPod from the coffee table and put the ear buds in her ears, ignoring both of them until they finally walked away.

* * *

With a sigh, Steve closed the front door after Catherine left the house. He turned and stared at his daughter who was sitting on the couch, eyes closed, head bopping in time with the music blasting from her iPod. Alex had only been home from the hospital for two days and already she was taking her anger out by yelling at others. The next several months were going to be extremely trying and, if Alex didn't watch herself and keep her attitude in check, she was going to find herself grounded. With another sigh, he stepped over to the couch and, lifting her legs up, he sat down, setting her legs down on his lap. When she opened her eyes to look at him, he gestured for her to take the ear buds out of her ears. She obliged without shutting off the iPod so he took it out of her hands and shut it off, setting it on the end table well outside of her span of reach. "First, how many times do I have to tell you to not play the music that loud?"

"Dad –"

Steve shook his head. "No, Alex. Do what I told you – if I can hear the music then it's too loud – and if you don't, I'll take it away until you learn. Got it?"

"Fine," Alex said, rolling her eyes.

Steve sent her a warning look and then expelled a frustrated breath. He reminded himself to remain calm and to be understanding – her normal teenage attitude was exacerbated by the fact that she was stuck inside all day without a physical outlet for her energy and frustrations. "So, I understand that you yelled at your grandmother today."

"She's not my…" She trailed off when she saw the annoyed look on her dad's face. "Fine. Yes, I yelled at her because she wouldn't leave me alone."

"What do you mean she wouldn't leave you alone?"

"I'm not four, Dad," Alex replied, turning her head so she wasn't looking at him. "I don't need her to make me a snack or help me go to the bathroom or –"

"C'mon, Alex," he interrupted. "Really? I thought _you_ were the one that complained just this morning about how difficult it is for you to do even the simplest of tasks and that you hate having to rely on everyone else to help you." He tapped her on the thigh until she looked at him again. "If it had been Catherine or me checking on you, you would not have yelled at us."

"Yeah, well," Alex started, "you guys would have checked on me because you actually care. _She_ only does it because she's trying to get on my good side." Steve sighed and she continued. "I don't like her and I don't want her here. Especially because I have had to be home with her for two whole days while you and Catherine got to escape to work."

Steve sighed again and then expelled another breath. "It doesn't matter if you like someone or not, Alex. You still need to be respectful." He narrowed his eyes at her. "And being respectful does _not_ mean calling her Mrs. McGarrett."

Alex shrugged, giving into a smirk. "That _is _her name." Untrustworthy Doris ranked right up there with Commander White – she had never called him by his first name either, despite her dad's encouragement to do so. "Or is it _Ms. _McGarrett now since, you know, Grandpa died because of her?"

"Alex." His tone served as a warning to her: knock it off or face the consequences.

"I'm _not_ calling her grandma," Alex told him. "And I'm not calling her Doris either." She shrugged. "Mrs. McGarrett is all she's getting."

"Fine," Steve said, not wanting to argue with her. It was certainly strange to hear his daughter refer to his mother as 'Mrs. McGarrett' but at least she wasn't calling her something inappropriate or offensive. "But you need to stop yelling at her. You need to be respectful and courteous. Got it?"

"Okay, okay," Alex answered. "Got it."

"Thank you," he told her. "Now, there are a couple of other things I want to talk to you about."

"What?"

"First," he started, his eyes scanning the coffee table at her school books. "Since you're having such a hard time being stuck at home, I've come up with a couple of ideas of things you can do outside of the house. Wanna hear them?" She nodded and he continued. "Well, what about guitar lessons? I know Josh was teaching you over the summer but I spoke with Mr. Carmichael, one of the music instructors at your school, and he is willing to teach you how to play after school for about an hour twice a week."

"I don't have a guitar."

"I know," he acknowledged, "but when I ran into Mr. Sullivan at lunch today he told me that Josh was talking about giving you his old one."

"Really?" Alex asked, a smile appearing on her face. "Are the guitar lessons expensive?"

"Price doesn't matter, Alex," Steve reminded her. "But think about it and you can let Mr. Carmichael know on Monday if you want to take the lessons or not. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Great," he said, smiling. "I was also thinking maybe you want to go to that Youth Group with Josh every Wednesday evening." Every Wednesday from six to seven-thirty, Josh attended a teen Youth Group at his church; Josh had mentioned it to Alex numerous times but, not being as religious as him, she had declined the offer to join him. "I know it might be a little too churchy for you but it would get you out of the house."

"You're going to let me spend even more time with Josh outside of school?" She stared at him in disbelief. Josh's conversation with her Dad must have really changed things between them.

"Do you want to do it or not?" Steve said, forcing himself to not cringe at her comment. "If so, you can go to Josh's practice on Wednesday's and Mr. Sullivan said you could go to dinner with them before dropping you both off at the church."

"Yes," Alex answered. "I want to go."

"Alright, I'll let Jason know."

"What else?" Alex asked excitedly. She'd only been stuck at home for two days but she was already sick of it. She needed to be out socializing and getting fresh air. Both of her dad's ideas had been awesome; she wondered what else he had come up with.

"Right now, that's it," he told her. "At least about activities for you to do." He took a drink from her cup of water. "There is one other thing I want to talk to you about though."

"What?"

"Mr. Parker – Kailani's dad – he, um, he offered to pay for your medical bills," he told her. "But I had another idea that I want to run by you."

"Okay," Alex said, the look in her eyes telling him that she was thinking about Trig's offer. "I'm not sure I want him to pay for my medical bills. I've got the money to cover them."

"Right," Steve acknowledged, nodding his head. "And I was thinking his money could be put to better use elsewhere. Say Heart2Heart, for example."

A look of agreement appeared on Alex's face. "I like that idea!"

"Yeah?" Steve asked, smiling. "I had a feeling you would." He smiled at the smile on his daughter's face. "Good, I'll tell him to do that then." He picked her legs up and stood up, gently placing her legs back down on the couch. "Now, what do you say we head up to the North Shore for some shrimp?"

* * *

**A/N: Any favorite part/s from this chapter? Anything you're hoping to see in the upcoming chapters? **

**As always, thanks for reading. Please leave a review on your way out!**

**I have family visiting this week so it might be awhile before the next chapter is posted.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks for the fabulous reviews on the last chapter. I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter (I feel like I've lost my momentum) so please leave a review with your thoughts and comments. **

**Guest: Sorry that I couldn't post earlier than now. Hope you are in the group of people who DO have power. How much snow did you end up getting? I used to live in New England and I actually miss the snow! Thanks for reading!**

**AnonGuest: Thanks. Yes, Catherine is a pretty good buffer and she's great at preventing arguments/meltdowns. **

**Craftygirl11: Heart2Heart is the anti-bullying group that Alex and Josh started at their school. Haha, I can't quite answer your question about when Steve will pop the question… not yet anyway ;) Thanks for reading!**

**Narwhayley: Thanks. Cath really is a mother figure to Alex, isn't she? **** LOL, Josh and Alex were lucky that it was Jason who interrupted their kiss and NOT Steve because, like you said, Steve would have done a heck of a lot more than clear his throat! Thanks for reviewing!**

**FicreaderT: This chapter addresses the second half of your review – as you predicted, the crap hits the fan, so to speak. Thanks for reading!**

**Angel: LOL, they DID kiss and they have before, too. Poor kids have a habit of getting interrupted, though. If you liked Alex screaming at Doris, then you should like this chapter, too! :) Thanks for reading!**

**Pinkphoenix1985: Hope this chapter makes you a LOT happier in regards to Doris and Alex ;) Thanks for letting me bounce part of this off of you. **

**Mari McGarrett: The three of them certainly are a cute little family, aren't they? :D Thanks for reading!**

**Guest: Thank you. I try really hard with dialogue (sometimes that's the **_**hardest**_** part to write). Glad you enjoyed that part. **

**Rolodexthoughts: Thanks – I love writing Steve and Catherine scenes :D Thanks for reading!**

**Sunny irish: The fact that Doris still wears her wedding ring bothers me, too! If you like Alex giving her a hard time, you should enjoy this chapter! :)And, no, she hasn't had her hand operated on yet. Thanks for reviewing!**

**JMReagan – Cath is a great mother to Alex! Glad we ended up having the same thoughts about Heart2Heart! Thanks, Friend!**

* * *

In the four weeks since her ankle had been broken, Alex had steadily grown more and more miserable and it wasn't all due to her injury. First, there had been the argument with her grandmother on the second day of her recovery at home. In the days since then, Doris' constant presence and insistence on asking the same questions – questions that Alex did not want to answer – had only served as a greater annoyance. She had returned to school exactly one week after her operation, but the extra attention she had received from everyone – teachers had gone out of their way to ensure she had a way to keep her leg elevated during class and she had become the new topic of interest for many of her fellow students – had made her feel very uncomfortable. Then, despite the fact that the guitar lessons were going well and that she enjoyed attending the youth group with Josh, she still found herself to be slipping into what she could only imagine was the early stages of depression. Being immobile, plus having to be so dependent on others, had simply made her very unhappy – it had even been difficult for her to find joy when the doctors had replaced the plaster cast and bandages with a permanent plastic cast.

To make matters worse, during those moments of boredom and loneliness, her mind would often drift to thinking about things of the past: her mom; life in Seattle; her grandfather; and every single moment with Boris Balakov. As a result, her insomnia was back in full-force and, on the rare nights that she actually did manage to fall asleep, she had woken up, screaming, in the throes of nightmares. She could not remember having ever felt this miserable and she hated that she didn't seem to have any control over it. She knew that her attitude was far from being acceptable and it truly was a miracle that her dad had not locked her in the holding cell at the Five-0 Headquarters until she reeled in her negativity and disrespectful mood. Yet, despite numerous lectures from just about _everyone_ – her Dad, Catherine, Josh, Kono, Chin, Danny, even Mr. Sullivan – she still found it extremely difficult to bite her tongue, especially when it came to the ever-irksome woman otherwise known as Doris McGarrett. And it flat out pissed her off that Doris still wore her wedding ring – Alex's grandfather had been devastated when he thought she had died – how dare she act like she was still happily married! Doris living with them had changed everything and, as a result of her Dad being oblivious to that little fact as well as some of the things she had overheard him say, Alex was mad at him, too. It wouldn't be long before the volcano of emotions inside of her decided to erupt, spilling forth a slew of anger, contempt, and hurt.

It was as if Doris had been, over the last few days, inviting her to lash out. Doris had been more annoying than usual, if that was even possible, and her constant pestering during the hours in which Alex was home alone with her made the teenager's anger reach near boiling point. If only the woman could take a hint and realize that certain topics were simply not up for discussion. Which was why, not even a minute ago, Alex had answered Doris' question about her mom with a simple, "France", before yelling at the woman to leave her alone. Her shouts had been accompanied with a satisfying slam of her bedroom door. Based on the rapid sound of dress shoes hitting the wooden floor as they made their way up the stairs to the second floor, Alex, who no longer cared about neither the threats of being grounded nor the importance of being respectful, especially after the question she had been asked for the umpteenth time, prepared herself to fight with Doris.

"Alexandra McGarrett," Doris said loudly as she opened Alex's bedroom door without permission. "You –"

"You can't just walk into my room without knocking," Alex interrupted, glaring at the woman while she used a crutch for support as she rose from her desk chair and stood back up.

"Your father has told you repeatedly to not slam your door," Doris returned, stepping further into the room. Numerous times over the last few weeks, she had been witness to Alex slamming her bedroom door – it usually occurred after Steve tried to get the teenager to join him and her in some sort of outing, such as a simple trip to the grocery store, or a trip to the Dole Plantation, or dinner down on the beach behind the house – which had always ended with Steve yelling at his daughter.

"I don't care!" Alex replied, hobbling towards Doris so that she was closer to the hallway in case she wanted to make a less-than-quick getaway. "You still have no right to –"

"You know," Doris interrupted, crossing her arms in front of her. "I have tried to be patient with you. I have tried all this time, all these weeks, to be patient with you," she repeated. "But I've had it with you. You –"

"Yeah?" Alex scoffed, balancing her weight on her good foot. "Well I've had it with you, too!" Anger flashed in her eyes. "You bug me all the time. You refuse to understand that I don't want to talk to you. Why can't you just TAKE A HINT?!"

Something flashed in Doris' eyes; Alex didn't know if she should be scared or not. "You have absolutely NO right to talk to me like you have been. I am your grandmother and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. You _will_ treat me with respect. Do you understand me?"

Alex was only vaguely aware of the sound of the front door being slammed shut downstairs. Even still, it wasn't like she cared at this point. She brushed angrily past Doris and hobbled into the hallway as she yelled back. "Just because we share blood does _not_ make you my grandmother!" Stopping a few steps outside of her room, she turned around. "You can't just show up out of the blue one day and expect me to accept you as my grandmother!"

"Alex!"

The teenager ignored her father, whose voice was booming disapprovingly from downstairs. "Why couldn't you have just stayed dead?!" she shouted at Doris, her heart beating rapidly and her body feeling warmer from the hot, angry blood coursing through her system. "Why did you have to show up and ruin everything?!" When Doris opened her mouth to respond, Alex shouted over her. "Don't you see that faking your death ruined everything for your family? You should have just stayed gone!"

"If she had never faked her death," Steve said, getting his daughter's attention as he was halfway up the staircase, "I never would have met your mother and you wouldn't be here." For some reason, his comment only added fuel to the fire.

The volcano erupted as she remembered the comments she had overheard her Dad say over the last few weeks. "Maybe that would have been the best thing for everybody then!" When a look of confusion crossed her Dad's face, she shouted, "Everything would be easier and better if I had never been born!"

"Alexandra!" Doris' voice was joined by a pained, shocked look on Steve's face.

"Leave me alone!" Alex shouted, hobbling back past Doris and into her room. "Both of you – just leave me alone!" With that, she slammed her bedroom door, leaving Steve and Doris to stare at the closed door.

Several minutes later, Steve, the ache caused by his daughter's comment worsening, broke the silence. "What did you say to her?" It wasn't that he was blaming his mother for Alex's outburst but, clearly, she must have said something of importance to trigger it.

"I told her she needed to be respectful and –"

Steve shook his head. "Before that. What did you say to her that made her mad at you to begin with?"

"All I did was ask her about her mom."

"Damn it, Mom," he spat out, turning and heading back down the stairs. "I told you to stop asking about her mother."

* * *

"Alex!" Steve shouted again, getting a little annoyed that his daughter had not responded to him the last two times he'd called her down for dinner. After the explosive argument earlier, he had left her alone in her room, understanding that she needed to calm down before having to face him and his mother again. His daughter's comment about never having been born had caused a pain in his heart that surpassed any of the physical pains he had experienced over the years. He could never imagine life without his daughter and it had shaken him to his core when she had expressed that everyone's life would be better without her. Alex's behavior earlier had been uncalled for but, considering the ache in his heart, he had decided to hold off on reprimanding her until they, but especially he, had all calmed down.

"I'll go," Catherine said, placing a hand on his arm as she got to her feet. She had not been provided all of the details of what had taken place that afternoon – all she knew was that Doris and Alex had had an argument. Whatever they had argued about, whatever they had said, had clearly upset Steve – when she had arrived at the house to help Steve make dinner, he had been reserved and his eyes had been full of hurt – and her concern had grown when, knocking on Alex's door to say hello, the teenager had, in unusual fashion, ignored her.

Catherine left the dining room, walking through the open living space before she started to climb the stairs. Reaching the door at the end of the hall on the second floor, she knocked. "Alex?" A bad feeling came over her and she knocked again. "Alex, Honey, you need to come downstairs and eat." Not getting an answer, she put her hand on the door knob and, pushing the door open, she stepped inside the room. One brief glance around the room confirmed her suspicion. _Oh, Alex, what are you thinking?_ She left the room and, as she made her way back downstairs, prepared herself for the storm that was about to start raging. As she stepped into the dining room, both Doris and Steve looked at her. Keeping her eyes locked on Steve's, she told him, "She left, Steve. She's gone."

He almost knocked her into the wall when he jumped to his feet and sped out of the room. She followed him; Doris followed her. When they reached Alex's room, Steve was staring in disbelief at the open window where a rope of tied together bed sheets, clothes, and curtains was hanging out of. Catherine watched as his eyes drifted to the wall next to the open window; one of Alex's crutches was, abandoned, leaning against the lavender painted wall. When she placed a gentle hand on his bicep, he turned his head to look at her. The look in his wet eyes scared her – she had never seen that exact combination of pain and fear in them – but the lost way in which he said her name terrified her even more. "Cath…"

"We'll find her," she assured him. She had no idea where Alex would have run off to – she didn't even know _why_ Alex had climbed out of her second floor bedroom window – but she knew that she needed to be strong for Steve. She needed to help him find his daughter. They needed to find Alex. She dropped her hand down to his and squeezed it. "Call your team and I'll call her friends, see if any of them have seen her. We'll find her, Babe."

* * *

She was angry and she was hurt. She hated fighting with people, even with those people that she didn't particularly care for, yet this argument had seemed warranted. Doris just wouldn't leave her alone – she wouldn't stop asking for information about her Mom – which didn't exactly make sense to her because Doris was a former CIA operative. Surely, she had ways of researching whatever information she was seeking; couldn't Doris have just located information about Alex's mom by having her handler's log in to the secure government network and searching for it? Plus, for having worked for an undercover government agency for so long, the woman should have been able to recognize how uncomfortable all of the questions about her mom had made her. Maybe Doris just didn't care.

What had really angered her though was the way her Dad had basically stood up for his Mom. Then again, that should not have surprised her – he'd been taking Doris' side since Day One. Ever since Doris had shown up at their house that one morning all those weeks ago, everything had changed. The only person her Dad seemed to care about now was Doris. Everything he had been doing over the last few weeks was to accommodate _her_. When they had ordered take-out, he let her pick the place to order from; when they had a meal out, it was Doris that got to pick every single restaurant. At breakfast two Saturdays ago, her Dad had asked _Doris_ what she wanted to do for the day, completely forgetting that he had promised to take her to the Honolulu Museum of Art that day. As it was, ever since Doris walked back into their lives, her Dad had not taken her on a single father/daughter date and she never got any one-on-one time with him because he always let his mom hang around them.

In addition to that, her Dad had made multiple comments to Chin, Kono, and Danny which made her feel like he wished she had never been born. Other comments he had made to Doris only added to that sentiment. Then there was the memory of that conversation last Christmas when her Dad told her that, in many ways, she reminded him of his mom. She didn't like Doris and, if what her Dad had said was true, if she was very much like Doris, then she didn't like herself anymore either.

All of that was too much to handle. She felt alone. She felt like a stranger in her own house. Knowing how her Dad felt about her, knowing that her feelings didn't matter, had made her decision all too easy. Since he didn't want her around, she had decided to go someplace where she was missed. Since she was no longer welcomed in her Dad's house, she had decided to go to a residence where she could make a life of her own. Who cared if she was only fifteen? She could take better care of herself now than she did when she had been twelve.

The tears had started to roll down her cheeks as she had pulled the sheets off of her bed, tying the two ends together. Once the makeshift rope was long enough, she had secured it to the corner of her desk and dropped it out the window. She had taken a final glance around her room before tossing one of her crutches out of the open window. Then, as she had started the final journey down the side of the house, she had allowed a sob to escape. The tears had been flowing even harder when the Taxi she had called pulled up outside of the house at the corner of their street. When the taxi driver had spotted her, she had assured him that she was fine, attributing her tears to her ankle being extremely painful. She was pretty sure he had not believed her, especially after she told him where she wanted him to take her, but the extra thirty dollars she had promised him had ended all of his doubts.

Of course, in the emotional madness of her mind, she had not considered the fact that she would not be able to leave Honolulu right away. Nor had she expected that she would not be able to leave until tomorrow morning and that was only _if_ the standby ticket she had purchased would be turned into an actual seat on the flight. Yet, here she was in the waiting area of an almost completely abandoned airline terminal, with a pounding headache, staring out the windows at the darkening horizon. She felt so drained, so emotionally drained, that, even if she needed to find it and use it, all of the fight in her was gone. Which was why, when Doris showed up, taking a seat next to her, she didn't yell or scream; she acted completely normal and civil instead.

* * *

"Duke!" Steve called, climbing out of his truck after pulling up to the curb outside Honolulu International Airport.

"Steve," Duke said, reaching out his hand to shake Steve's as he nodded politely to Catherine and Doris. He turned and they headed towards the entrance to the airport.

"Thanks for calling," Steve told him, holding the door open for his mom and Catherine. About twenty minutes ago, while they were scouring the Aloha Tower Marketplace area, looking for Alex, he had received a call from Duke Lukela, telling him that Alex had been spotted at the airport by another HPD Officer assigned to the airport. The officer did not know Alex but, seeing her resemblance to Steve, had casually approached the teenager and talked to her for several minutes. Leaving her sitting at Gate Six, the officer had called Duke, explaining that something seemed off with the girl, and, since Duke knew the McGarrett's, maybe he could notify Steve that his daughter was here.

"Of course," Duke replied. "She's at Gate Six." Duke escorted the three of them into the terminal, bypassing the security checkpoint, and led them in the direction of Gate Six, a gate at the far end of the airport.

When the gate appeared in sight, they spotted Alex, seated and facing away from them, sitting there in the abandoned gate area. Steve took a step forward but was thwarted by a hand on his arm. "Let me," Doris said, her eyes pleading for agreement. "Please." It took Steve a minute to respond but he finally agreed, knowing he would be able to intervene if need be.

"Hi," Doris said tentatively, taking the seat next to her granddaughter. She was going to approach this cautiously.

"Hi," Alex said, sniffling and wiping her nose on the back of her hand.

Spotting the envelope containing Alex's airline ticket, Doris asked, "Where are you flying to?"

"Seattle." She was exhausted, emotionally drained; she didn't even feel like she was in her own body. The vacant feeling in her mind; the empty feeling in her heart; they made her talk to Doris as if there had never been an argument.

"Seattle?"

Alex nodded. "My mom… she… our apartment is there."

Doris was confused and she didn't bother to mask it. "I thought you told me your mother lives in France."

Alex only partly succeeded in stifling a sob. "My mom's dead. We scattered her ashes in Paris."

"Oh, honey," Doris said, her heart aching for the girl. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"Yeah, well," Alex said, turning her eyes on Doris. "There was a reason I didn't want to talk about it."

Doris nodded. "I know. I get that now. I'm sorry."

That was the first thing Doris had ever said to her that she actually believed. Still, that didn't mean things were cool between them suddenly. "Yeah," she said, turning her head to stare back out the window.

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes; their silence was interrupted by the arrival of Steve and Catherine. "Can you give us a few minutes, Mom?"

"Of course," Doris said, standing up. Patting her granddaughter on the arm, she repeated, "I'm sorry, Alexandra." She left the immediate area as her son and Catherine took seats across the aisle from Alex so that they were both facing her.

When her Dad sat down across from her, interrupting her view of the horizon, Alex dropped her eyes so that she was staring at the ticket envelope in her lap. Steve just stared at his daughter. Catherine watched both of them, wondering who would break first. After only a minute, her attention was focused on Steve – he looked on the verge of a breakdown. His watery eyes, the clenching of his jaw and the tension in his shoulders; she knew he was struggling with the choice of either hugging his daughter or yelling at her for trying to run away. After several minutes more of watching Steve's inner struggle and Alex's refusal to look at her Dad, Catherine finally spoke up. "Just what do you think you're doing, Alex?"

"I'm leaving."

"I see that," Catherine said, placing her hand on Steve's leg, using her thumb to rub soothing circles over his kneecap. "But why?" The teenager's eyes slowly drifted up and Catherine saw that they were full of tears.

"He doesn't want me around anymore," Alex answered with a slight nod towards her Dad. "He wishes I had never been born." She shrugged. "Everything else has already changed so I figured it wouldn't matter if I leave."

"That's not true," Steve said, finally finding his words. "None of that is true."

"Yeah, it is," Alex argued, finally looking at him. "Everything's changed, Dad. Her still being alive changes everything." _It means that Grandpa died for nothing. It means my Mom died for nothing._ "Even you have changed and you don't even realize it." _Her being alive has made you change the way you feel about me. _ "You don't want me anymore so I'll just do both of us the favor and –"

"Alex…" Steve's voice sounded strangled, anguish deeply embedded in his tone. "Alex, I…" He choked on his words and the merest of glances at Catherine made her sense that he was about to give into a vulnerability that he would not want his daughter to see.

"Can you please give your Dad and me a few minutes?" Catherine asked the teenager. "Please? Go over there by Officer Lukela."

As his daughter got to her feet and hobbled away using the one crutch she had brought with her, he cradled his head in his hands. He felt like his heart had just been ripped from his chest. How could things have gotten so bad that his daughter felt like she wasn't wanted anymore? When had his incredible fifteen-year-old turned into a depressed kid? He knew that Alex had been struggling with her injury but he had not realized that her unhappiness could be attributed to so much more than that. He spotted the ticket envelope on the floor – it must have fallen from her lap when she had gotten up – and he reached over and picked up. Opening it, he looked at the standby ticket. "Seattle." He gave into a laugh of disbelief; this whole situation seemed so unreal to him. His hands shaking, he handed the envelope to Catherine.

Catherine took the envelope from him and set it on the seat on the other side of her. "Steve," she said, covering his shaky hands with hers. "Babe –"

"What am I supposed to do? How do I deal with this?"

* * *

"Do you want to talk about whatever's bothering you?" Duke Lukela asked the teenager as they sat down in the waiting area of Gate Eight. Alex shrugged and he continued. "It must be something pretty serious if it's making you want to run away."

"I…" Alex sighed. "It's just… things aren't going well at home." She shrugged again. "Things would be easier for everyone if I leave."

"That look on your dad's face tells me it would _not_ be easier for him if you were gone," Duke stated, nodding his head towards gate Six where Steve was still sitting with Catherine. "He was worried sick about you when he found out you ran away." The look on her face told him she didn't believe him. "So what's so bad at home? Your Dad hasn't hit you, has he?"

"Of course not!" Alex answered. "My dad has never hit me. You know that he would never hit me."

Of course he knew that Steve would never hurt his daughter – Steve wasn't that kind of man – but he needed to try to get through the teenager somehow. He needed her to see that _nothing_ going on in her life was so bad that she needed to escape to the mainland. "I know. I'm just trying to figure out what's hurt you so much that you decided to run away."

"Ever since she got here," Alex explained, nodding towards Doris who had just stepped out of the ladies room down the hallway. "He's been different."

"Different how?"

She dropped her head in shame. "I overheard him tell his mom that he wished she had never faked her death and several times he's said that, if she never pretended to die, he never would have met my Mom." She looked at him, tears in her eyes. "He wishes I had never been born."

Duke wrapped an arm around Alex, hugging her. "I know your Dad, Alex, and he would _never_ wish you hadn't been born. He loves you and can't imagine life without you."

"It's what he said, Officer Lukela."

"I don't doubt that you heard what you said you did," he told her. "But I honestly don't think he would ever wish you hadn't been born. You're his daughter and he loves you more than anything in the world." When she didn't say anything, he added, "What do you think your grandfather would have to say about all of this?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know and it's not like I can ask him." She glanced at Doris who was sitting by herself in another gate area. "He wasted so much time looking for _her_ killer."

"I don't think he would consider it a waste of time," Duke commented. He did not know all of the specific details about why Doris had faked her death twenty years ago – as John's friend and fellow HPD officer, he remembered how her family had been devastated by the death – but he had learned from Steve that she had done it to keep her family safe. "And, while I think he would be upset to find out that she faked her death, I think he would understand why she did it." The teenager seemed to be considering what he had to say. "And I think that he would probably wish she had come up with some other way of keeping her family safe besides faking her death but that doesn't mean he would wish you didn't exist. Your family loves you, Alex. Your grandfather loved you and your Dad loves you. I think if you give him a chance to explain, you will see that he never meant for you to feel like you are unwanted or unloved."

* * *

**A/N: Please leave a review and let me know what you thought about this chapter. Thanks!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I want to say thank you to FicreaderT for reminding me that I needed to address, on a deeper level, what Steve was feeling about everything going on. I hope I was able to that a little bit of justice in this chapter. Warning for mention of sex and reference to nudity.**

**Guest – 30 inches! Wow! I'm guessing you live in CT like the other guest who posted? Thanks for reviewing!**

**Pinkphoenix1985 – Thanks. I don't think Alex hates Doris by any means but it's certainly going to take awhile for her to warm up to her. I hope that "fight" made Alex realize that Doris is not a pushover and she will reprimand her when wrong. As for Alex running away: I have to surprise you sometimes, don't I? And, yeah, I think it was important for Duke to have that conversation with her. He knows her but does not spend a lot of time around her. If had been anyone else (Chin, Kono, Danny, Kamokona) the message may not have affected her the same way.**

**Sunny irish – yeah, I feel bad for Alex but Steve is also hurting. A LOT. They will work it out eventually (they also do). And, yep, Doris' wedding ring bugs the crap out of me. Glad you enjoyed the duke/Alex talk! Thank you!**

**AnonGuest – Thank you! I'm glad my writing comes across better to the readers than it does to me. **

**Five0fan – hope this was soon enough for you ;) Thanks for reading!**

**Guest – Thanks! That's a pretty incredible review! I used to live in CT! **** I miss it :p **

**Pat Toby – Thank you! Glad you are enjoying the story.**

**Craftygirl11 – Aww, thanks! You know that Alex and Steve will work things out but, as you will see, Steve needs to deal with his own emotions first. I will get back to the Core Four at some point. Hopefully soon!**

**Tessab – Welcome back! Hope your surgery went well. So nice to hear from you again! Thanks for reading!**

**Angel – Alex has a lot of deep-rooted abandonment issues but eventually she will learn to trust that her dad won't walk out of her life. He's deeply invested her and one day she will feel it in both her heart and soul. Thanks for reading!**

**Mandy-chick00 – Thanks for reviewing! Hope this update came soon enough ;)**

**JM Reagan – You know Alex so well! Her abandonment issues are so deep-rooted. Thanks, as always, for reading!**

**FicreaderT – Again, thanks for reminding me that I needed to address Steve's pain. I always was aware of his pain but never quite had the 'oomph' to even attempt to address it until your last review. He's in a lose-lose situation or at least that's how it seems to him. Also, I borrowed your suggestion about him needing a break from his mom and daughter. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

* * *

"Steve?" Catherine said sleepily as she opened her eyes and spotted him sitting on the edge of the bed, facing the wall. He was still completely naked from their three rounds of exhausting lovemaking earlier. His entire body was tense – she could see that in the taut, well-defined muscles of his back – and his hands were gripping the side of the mattress. Catherine sat up in the bed, sliding across the mattress and kneeling behind him. "Babe?" She wrapped an arm around his torso, her fingers splayed over his chest where she could feel his strong heartbeat. "Talk to me."

Steve sighed. "I – I don't know what I'm doing anymore." His voice was distant, hollow. "I don't know what to say to either of them. I just… I don't know."

"What you need is a break," Catherine replied. "A break from your Mom and Alex. You need –"

"I'm going for a run," he interrupted, pushing off from the bed and standing.

Catherine glanced at the clock on Steve's nightstand. "It's two-thirty in the morning," she told him, watching as he stepped over to his dresser. "You should try to get some sleep before we talk to your daughter at five." He pulled a pair of shorts out of the dresser and slid them on over his bare bottom. "Steve."

"I need to run," he repeated, not bothering to even glance her way as he walked out of the room.

Even though she didn't really like that he was going for a run in the middle of the night, she didn't bother to go after him. She knew him well enough to know that pushing himself physically always had been a way for him to deal with emotional pain. She had thought that their intense sex marathon earlier would have helped him to get some sleep at least but that, obviously, had failed to the job. She knew that he was hurting and had been since that night in Japan when he had discovered that his mother had faked her death. Learning that his mother had been alive for the last twenty years had changed everything for him and the inner turmoil he had been dealing with had only been made worse by the conflict between Alex and Doris.

Everything that he had once thought about his mother had changed that night in Japan. Up until then, he had thought his mother was a caretaker, a nurse, _not_ a spy trained to kill. Up until that night, he had found no similarities between Cindy and Doris but now… now he had to deal with the pain that his mother had abandoned him just like Cindy had abandoned Alex. It was like the beautiful, innocent painting of his childhood had suddenly been destroyed by a can of black paint being spilled over it; idyllic memories of Doris were now marred over by the truth of what she had done, by the hurt that she had caused her family. That warming and comforting feeling of his mother's love that he had carried within him for twenty years was now hard to find due to the confusion and doubt that had leaked into every single one of his pores. His mother was not the woman that he remembered from his childhood and that was a difficult pill for him to swallow.

Even though Steve had never quite vocalized all of that to her, Catherine had been able to figure it out and she hated that he was hurting so bad. Steve had always been good at hiding his emotions when he wanted to and, as a result, she doubted that anyone else in his life had picked up on just how much Steve was hurting. She honestly believed that he needed to spend a few days away from both his mother and daughter to just focus on his own emotions. He needed to come to terms with what _he_ was feeling without the added pressure of having to put his daughter first. Steve just needed to take care of himself for a few days and maybe, based on previous experience, the best way for him to do that was for the two of them to take a trip somewhere.

Catherine lay back down on the bed, pulling the sheet up over her own naked body. Glancing at the clock, she gave into an exhausted sigh and closed her eyes. She would make it a point to talk to Steve when he got back from his run. She just hoped, for everyone's sake, that she could convince him to get away from home for a few days. If she needed to, she would promise him lots of sex and naked take-out every night of their getaway.

* * *

"Morning!" Catherine greeted as Alex hobbled into the dining room using one crutch, carrying a bowl of oatmeal in one hand, followed by Anchor trudging along after her.

"Morning," Alex returned with a yawn as she sat down at the table across from her Dad. She gave him a curious look when he didn't return the greeting and took the first bite of the oatmeal. "For some reason, my alarm clock was set an hour early." Instead of 5:30, her alarm had gone off at 4:30 but, since she was one of those people who just couldn't go back to sleep after being woken up, she had climbed out of bed, wrapped her cast in a plastic bag, and then headed for the shower immediately. When she had made it downstairs, she had been surprised to see her Dad and Catherine seated in the dining room – she figured her Dad would have been out for his morning swim – not talking. It's like they were waiting for a meeting to begin or something. _Oh, crap_.

"I adjusted the setting on it," Catherine told the teenager. Seeing the look of confusion that appeared on Alex's face, she explained. "Your Dad and I," she started, covering Steve's hand with her own. "We need to talk to you about what happened yesterday."

Alex's gaze drifted to her Dad, who was just sitting there looking at her with a stoic expression on his face. Other than those brief moments after her Dad had showed up at the airport, he had not shown any emotion on his face whatsoever. And ever since Catherine had sent her to go sit by Officer Lukela, her dad hadn't said a single word to her. When she had seen him last night at the airport, she had prepared herself to be yelled at by him because that was what he had done the last time she had "disappeared" on him. Her Dad not saying anything or showing no expression on his face was a heck of a lot scarier than him yelling at her. "Dad, I –"

"You will have time to talk," Catherine interrupted, squeezing Steve's hand lightly, reconfirming the promise she had made to him earlier that she would take the lead in this conversation. When Steve had gotten back from his nearly hour-and-a-half run, he had asked her to join him in the shower. They had not had sex but, instead, much to her satisfaction, they had talked. Steve had opened up a little bit more about the roller coaster of emotions he was feeling and had admitted that he felt this was a lose-lose situation. As a parent, he had to put his daughter first but, at the same time, the son in him did not want to kick his mother out of the house. As much as he hated the pain that Doris had caused their family – Steve's eyes had filled with tears when he had mentioned his dad – it was impossible for him to hate _her_. No matter what and regardless of what had happened, she was, and always would be, his mom. They had continued to talk after their shower, standing wrapped in their towels while he shaved and she applied lotion to her body. He told her that he really was at a loss for how to deal with his daughter – he did not understand why she was so adamant that he no longer wanted her around – and he admitted that it almost killed him inside to know that she had purchased a plane ticket back to Seattle. Everything he had told her had served to reaffirm her belief that he needed a vacation away from Alex and Doris so, once they were dressed and downstairs, she had brought the idea up to him. She had just about convinced him to go away with her for a few days when they had heard Alex moving around upstairs. "But for now you just need to listen. Okay?"

Alex's gaze darted back and forth between her Dad and Catherine. "I – yeah, okay." It wasn't like she had much of a choice anyway.

"Okay," Catherine said, shifting slightly in her seat. "Listen, Honey, we know that you're going through a rough time right now. We know that you don't trust your grandmother and we know that it's hard for you to have to be so inactive." She glanced at Steve, noting that his gaze had not lingered from his daughter. "But that's no excuse for your behavior yesterday."

"Cather –"

Catherine shook her head: a silent reminder that Alex would get her turn to speak but now was not that time. "You said some pretty harsh things to your grandmother. You said some very hurtful things. It doesn't matter if you don't trust her or not – you were _wrong_ to say those things to her." She saw a flash of shame in the teenager's eyes before they dropped downward to look at the table. _Good, she understands what I'm telling her, but I'm just getting started._ "And you also scared everyone by running away. No matter what is troubling you, running away is _never_ the answer. Buying a plane ticket to Seattle and thinking that was the solution to all of your problems…" she trailed off, shaking her head. "The only thing it did was scare us and hurt us." She glanced at Steve again; his laser-like focus was still on his daughter. "Do you understand me?" A mere nod of Alex's head, which did not suffice as an appropriate response, was all she got in reply. "Alexandra Isabelle McGarrett, I asked you a question."

Alex jerked her head up, eyes wide, shocked at hearing Catherine use her full name for the first time. Even her Dad didn't use all three of her names; Catherine saying them was just downright scary. "Ye – yes, Ma'am, I understand."

"Good," Catherine said, wondering if it was terrible of her to feel a sense of satisfaction that using Alex's full name had invoked fear in the girl. "Now what would you like to say to us?"

Alex was quiet for several long moments, her eyes flitting back and forth between Catherine and her Dad. Her eyes finally came to rest on her Dad. "Why haven't you said anything?"

When Steve didn't say anything, Catherine answered for him. "Your Dad," she started, causing Alex to look at her again, "is having a really hard time with what happened."

"Is that because I called him out on his not wanting me around anymore?" Pain flashed in Steve's eyes but, just as quickly as it had appeared, it vanished.

"What makes you say that?" Catherine asked. Her voice was laced with a hint of hurt.

"It's what _he_ said," Alex stated, her eyes flitting towards her dad before returning to Catherine.

"I don't think your Dad would ever say that," Catherine disagreed gently. "He loves you."

"Just because he loves me doesn't mean he wants me around," Alex argued. "Ever since she showed up, he's stopped spending time with me." She glanced at her Dad and then back at Catherine. "He told his Mom that he wished she had never faked her death and _then_ he told Danny, Chin and Kono that his mom's death was what made him who he is today. Her death is what made him get sent to the mainland." With a pained expression on her face, she continued, "If he wishes she had never faked her death, then that means he wishes he had never been sent away." She got quieter with every sentence she spoke. "It means he wishes he had never met my Mom." She dropped her head downward, her voice barely audible. "It means he wishes I was never born."

As Alex had been speaking, Catherine's focus had been on Steve. With every word his daughter spoke, the pain in Steve's eyes blossomed into something insurmountable. She had been waiting for an outward expression of his pain and anger – she was waiting for him to start yelling at his daughter – so it surprised her when all he did was back his chair up, the bottoms of the legs scraping against the wooden floor, and stood up. With a final glance at his daughter, he turned and opened the door to the lanai, walking through the grass and down to the beach. Her heart aching for him – for both of them – Catherine looked at Alex and told her, "Go to your room."

"What?" Alex asked, hurt and shocked by the non-characteristic response she had received from her Dad. He was so foreign to her right now, it was terrifying.

"Your room," Catherine repeated, mentally reminding herself to not lash out at the teenager. Alex had just wounded her father and that pissed Catherine off immensely. "Go to your room until it's time to leave for school."

Alex just stared at her for a minute. "What about breakfast?"

"Five minutes," Catherine told her as she turned to look at Steve through the glass on the lanai doors. He was just standing there, hands in his short pockets, the tide hitting his legs, staring out at the water. "Finish your breakfast in five minutes," she continued, getting to her feet. "And then go to your room until it's time to head to school. Got it?"

Alex nodded meekly. "Yes, Ma'am."

* * *

"Dad, are you ever going to say something to me?" They were halfway to her school and it had to be the worst drive in the history of all drives; the tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Her Dad had yet to say a single word to her – he hadn't even called her downstairs when it was time to head to school – despite not being able to ride with them, Catherine had been the one to do that – and he had barely even looked at her once after getting into his truck.

When two minutes had passed without an answer from him – heck, without even an _acknowledgement_ that she had asked him a question – she gave up all hope. She rested her head back against the seat and looked out the passenger side window. She realized that she had scared him yesterday. She realized that she had probably hurt him by yelling at his mom and by purchasing the standby ticket to Seattle. She was sorry for all of that. Yet, that morning he had never even made it a point to respond to her admitting that she had overheard his comments; he had never negated them. He never tried to convince her that what she had heard was wrong. He had never tried to reassure her that he did want her around and that… that stung tremendously.

Five minutes later, and seven minutes after she had asked the question, her Dad finally responded. "I know that you've been hurt in the past but what I don't understand is why you are afraid that everyone in your life is going to abandon you."

An equal amount of time passed before she could reply to his comment; his words rang true, if only partially. As he pulled up to the curb in front of her school, she undid her seatbelt and opened the door. Once she was out of the vehicle, supported by two crutches, she reached in for her backpack. Looking at him, she said, "I'm not afraid that everyone in my life is going to abandon me." She maneuvered the backpack onto her shoulders and took a few steps backward to give her space to close the door. The look in his eyes told her that he sensed what she was going to say before she even said it. "I'm afraid that you will." With that, she slammed the door shut and turned to head into the building.

"Alex –" He had started to say before the truck door closed. Mumbling to himself, he removed his seatbelt and, leaving the truck running but in park, got out of the vehicle. "Alex!" he shouted, shaking his head when he realized that his daughter, who was halfway up the front steps of the school by now, would not be responding to his call. With a resolved sigh, he leaned back against the passenger side of his truck and continued watching as his daughter stopped to chat with some other students on the steps.

"Mornin', Mr. McGarrett," he heard as Josh jogged past him, yelling for Alex as he did. Steve watched as Josh reached Alex, said something to her and then helped her take the backpack from her shoulders. As they turned to head into the school, Josh was carrying her backpack in one hand while his other hand rested on the small of her back; something which Steve hoped was only done to serve as a protection from loss of imbalance and nothing more.

"So, where'd you end up finding her?" Steve's head jerked to his right. Apparently the Sullivan's had pulled up right after him, since Jason's truck was now parked behind his.

Uncrossing his arms, Steve turned and faced his friend. During their search for Alex last night, Jason had, naturally, been one of the people they had called. "Airport." He shook his head, frustrated at the mere memory of it. "She bought herself a ticket to Seattle."

"Steve, man," Jason said, shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too," Steve returned, glancing towards the entrance of the school to see that his daughter was hobbling through the main doors.

Jason studied his friend for a long minute. Steve looked downright lost and hurt. Even a little bit fearful. All of which was to be expected. "You wanna swap kids this afternoon?" The kids had a half day of school today and the day off tomorrow for a teacher's in-service. "Josh doesn't get done until three because of his practice but I can pick Alex up at noon and I'll drop her off at your house tonight sometime."

Steve shrugged. "You're brave to be offering to take her – she's sort of a handful right now."

"That's alright," Jason replied, giving into a shrug as well. "My kids can be a pain in the ass sometimes, too."

* * *

"So," Jason said, setting a shrimp tail down on his plate as he chewed the coconut shrimp he had just popped into his mouth. "Your Dad told me you went to the airport last night."

His comment threw Alex off guard – so that's why Mr. Sullivan had picked her up from school and taken her to lunch. She finally nodded, putting another butter-garlic shrimp in her mouth and chasing it down with water. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, intentionally avoiding his scrutinizing gaze.

"What's going on with you, Alex?" His tone was not at all judgmental and she felt like he really cared for her.

She hesitated to respond at first but, once she did, she couldn't stop talking. She explained everything to him: about how Doris was CIA and Doris's reasoning for why faking her death had not been wrong; how she didn't trust or like Doris; her argument with Doris; everything she overheard her Dad say that had hurt her and made her feel like she was unwanted; her frustrations over being injured; the return of her nightmares and panic attacks; thinking constantly about her Mom and grandfather; _everything_. She even told him something that she had yet to tell anyone. "And I'm afraid that this," she said, gesturing down to her casted ankle, "is going to keep me from getting accepted into the Academy."

"Okay," Jason said, appreciating how forthcoming she was as he set his glass of water down on the table. "First, I can understand why you're having problems with your grandmother being alive. What she did to her family reminds you of what your Mom did to you." He crossed his arms on the tabletop, leaning forward slightly. "However, at the same time, none of us should judge her for her decision to do that. She must have honestly believed that her family would be kept safe _only_ if she was believed to be dead." He held up his hand when she opened her mouth to speak. "I understand that her actions caused a lot of pain and that it tore her family apart but I really don't think that was her intention. Maybe you want to consider sitting down with her and asking her to explain her thought process about the whole thing – maybe she can give you insight that no one else can."

"I get what you are saying, Mr. Sullivan," Alex told him. "But she thinks there was nothing wrong with what she did and she expects everyone to be okay with it."

"You have to remember, Alex," Jason stated gently. "That it wasn't just your Dad or your Aunt Mary or your grandfather who missed out on things the last twenty years ago. Your grandmother missed out on stuff, too. She never got to see your Dad and Aunt's graduation from high school or see your Dad head to the Academy. She missed out on holding you – her only grandbaby – for the first time. She never got to see her husband again." He took a sip of water. "I'm not choosing her side over yours. I'm not saying that what she did was right but I can't say that it was wrong either."

Alex appeared to be considering his words as she chewed another piece of shrimp. When she didn't say anything after a couple of minutes, he decided to keep talking. "As for what you overheard your Dad say: I think there is probably more it than just those comments. Your Dad is a good friend, a good man, but he's an even better father and he loves you more than life itself. I'm not doubting that you heard what you said you did – if you say you did, I believe you – but, to me, wishing his mom had never faked her death does not equate to him wishing you had never been born."

"Then why has everything changed?" Alex asked, focusing her eyes on him again. "If her being alive hasn't changed the way he feels about me, then why have we not spent any time together, just the two of us, like we used to? Why –"

"Did you ever consider how hard this is for your Dad?" When she didn't reply, he continued, "Remember how hurt and confused you felt when your Mom came back? He has to be feeling something similar to that." _If not worse_. "I think that if I were him – if it were my Mom that had faked her death and reappeared twenty years later – that I would feel like I was in a tough spot." Her eyebrows lifted in question. "As a dad, my kids would still be my priority but, as a son, I would want to be around my mother, trying to make up for lost time." He shrugged as he took a drink of water. "Maybe the only solution would be to spend time with both my kids and my mother at the same time. Kill two birds with one stone, if you will." He reached over and patted the girl on the hand. When she looked at him again, he added, "I'm going to tell you the same thing I tell Josh and Sam: if something is bothering you, talk about it. If I do something that upsets them, I would rather they be open and honest with me about it instead of keeping it inside." He patted her on the hand again. "Talk to your Dad, Alex. No yelling and no running away. Just talk. Be honest with him and it will make things better in the long run."

"My dad's not really talking to me right now," Alex told him, her eyes following a drop of condensation as it made its way down the outside of the glass. She chewed the inside of her cheek for a few moments and then, with tearful eyes, looked at him, asking, "How do I stop being afraid that he's going to abandon me just like my Mom did?"

Jason didn't answer for a minute as his thoughts drifted back to a family counseling session he and the boys had attended a few years ago. It was about two years after Megan had left them and Josh was still having occasional outbursts of anger. The night before the session, he had walked into the bathroom to discover his ten-year-old cutting his upper thigh with a razor blade. Josh had just been sitting there, on the edge of the tub, watching the blood as it snaked down his leg and fell, in droplets, to the tiled floor. At the session the next day, Josh had admitted to him and the therapist that his biggest fear was that his Dad would abandon him and Sam the same way his mother had. Even now, sometimes, Jason felt that Josh still experienced that same fear of abandonment. He shook his head to clear it, grateful for how far he and his boys had come since then. "Honestly, Alex, I think that's something you and Josh will have to help each other with." The only thing he could do to help with Josh's fear was to tell him on a daily basis that he loved him. Other than that, he did not have any idea how Josh learned to trust a parent again.

At that, Alex excused herself to use the restroom and, as she hobbled away on her crutches, it reminded Jason of the original point of having Alex with him this afternoon. He glanced at his watch and finished off the last two remaining, but now cold, shrimp. When the teenager got back, he asked her to quickly finish her meal because they had somewhere to be in half an hour. As she finished eating, he told her about the severe injury to his knee that had happened while he was in his junior year of high school. He, like her, had been concerned that he would be forced to abandon his dream of attending a military academy. He reminded her that, although her bones were taking a slower time healing than was to be expected, she was still young and her dream of attending the Naval Academy was still within reach. By the time she had finished eating, she had appeared a little more at ease regarding that. At 1400 hours, he was escorting her into a large physical therapy room at Tripler Army Medical Center where nearly 30 wounded warriors from Iraq and Afghanistan, the majority of whom were missing at least one limb, were going through a variety of rehabilitation exercises. Alex needed some inspiration from people who had experienced far more traumatic injuries than hers and what better place to find that inspiration than from the soldiers, sailors, marines, and airmen who had put their life on the line for their country.

* * *

Setting his black duffel down on the edge of the bed, Steve reached for Catherine's hand and pulled her down next to him on the bed. Propped up on his left elbow, he tucked her hair behind her ear and just gazed down at her. After Cindy he had never thought it would be possible but, with every passing second, he found himself falling more and more in love with Catherine. After his daughter, Catherine had become the second most important person in his life and, after last night and today, he couldn't be more grateful for having her by his side. To find a woman who could not only put up with all of the crazy shit he put her through but also love his daughter as if she herself had given birth to Alex… it made him a very lucky man.

The way Catherine had been strong for him, both last night and today, when he felt like his heart was being ripped in two, had served as a reminder of just how much she loved him. By taking control of the conversation with Alex this morning, it showed that Catherine treated Alex like a mother would treat her daughter. Harsh love, setting rules, and lecturing her on appropriate conduct while gently guiding Alex to an understanding of where and how she had erred… Steve could not remember a time when Cindy had ever done that with their daughter. He knew that Catherine got frustrated with both of them at times but she had something special about her that enabled her to handle two hard-headed McGarrett's with ease, simple grace, gentle kindness, and a relative calmness that most people would throw out the window as soon as they encountered his or Alex's strong personalities. Catherine understood him – both of them – better than anyone ever had and, as a result, she always seemed to know what they needed without either of them having to verbalize it.

He had realized a week ago that his patience level was wearing thin. He had acknowledged that the feeling of being stuck between a rock and a hard place was becoming too much to handle. He knew then that he needed a break from both the woman who had birthed him into life and the girl whose birth had reawakened him to life anew. Yet, he had not vocalized any of that because stating it would, as he had thought at the time, have admitted a weakness. So instead, like the SEAL that he was, he had kept it all inside. He had locked it away, deep down, until Catherine had suggested it to him that morning before his run and then again after their shower. However, it wasn't until he had pulled away from Alex's school that he had made the decision to go away with her for a few days. By the time lunchtime had rolled around, Catherine had connected with an old Navy buddy of theirs who lived permanently in Coronado but owned a second home on Maui. Mark Larson owed both he and Catherine for a favor they had provided four years ago – back then he had promised repayment with a free flight to Maui and free lodging at his home there. By the time Steve had picked up Josh from football practice, his and Catherine's last minute four-day, four-night trip to Maui was planned.

His original plan had been to have Alex stay with Danny – Kono and Chin were scheduled to head to the Big Island for a family get-together – but that had been unsuccessful. Danny was scheduled to meet with his lawyer tomorrow morning and then he and Grace were headed to Molokai – Grace had a school trip and she had requested her dad as a chaperone – for the weekend. Attempts to reach the parents of a handful of Alex's female friends had also been unsuccessful. He had not really wanted to leave Alex alone with Doris because he feared that, if he did, one of them wouldn't come out alive. When Jason had stopped by the house to swap kids, he overheard Steve's dilemma and had offered to take Alex for the long weekend; Steve had taken him up on his offer.

"You okay?"

Catherine's voice made him refocus his thoughts. He gazed into her eyes and smiled before placing a soft kiss on her lips. "I really love you, you know that?"

She returned his smile, reaching up and gently pulling his head back down. She placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "I love you, too."

He stroked her cheek with his thumb and continued gazing into her brown eyes. God, how he loved this woman! He kissed her lightly again and then his eyes drifted down to her left hand. Taking in the sight of her naked fingers, a thought struck him, as it had once or twice before, that he wanted to make her his wife. He picked up her hand and brought to his mouth. He kissed her on the palm and then on the spot where a ring would be if she had one. "I love you," he repeated.

The way he looked at her, so intense, so intimately, it was strangely terrifying. Not a bad terrifying but a good terrifying. "What's going on in that head of yours?" she asked, bringing a hand up and running it through his hair until her fingers tangled in the curls at the nape of his neck.

He had not bought a ring yet so he was not going to bring up discussion of the "M" word. "I think you made a mistake in renting your house," he said, turning slightly so that his right leg rested between both of hers. He ran his thumb lightly over her lips before dipping his head down and kissing her passionately. When he came up for air, he added, "I think you should be living in my house permanently."

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so I'm not sure what I think of how this last scene turned out… Steve and Cath just weren't quite cooperating with me today. **

**As always, please read and review! I appreciate all of your wonderful feedback! **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Part of this chapter comes from a request from adrien maciel (please see the A/N at the end of the chapter for specifics). Thank you, Adri!**

**This chapter is focused on our (okay, my) two favorite "couples": Steve/Cath and Josh/Alex. Hope you enjoy!**

**Warning for references to sex and nudity (again!). **

**Ircam – Thank you!**

**JM Reagan – Thanks! I think the fact that Alex opened up to Jason is a bit foreshadowing of what is to come in their relationship. And, in a way, I think it aligns with the talk that Josh had with Steve (even though the subject matter was entirely different). Being active duty military myself, Veterans and Wounded warriors (and I don't just mean physically wounded) hold a special place in my heart so I felt it was important to incorporate them into this story. Thanks for reviewing! :-) **

**Duffster21 – That was quite a lengthy review but I am so glad you found this story! :-) Although, I find it surprising that you lost sleep to read this story. I hope you have been able to get some rest! Thanks – I love Alex, too! And you make a very good point: the McGarrett's are not great at communicating but I think Catherine is slowly helping them make progress with that. Since you like Alex and Josh so much, you will probably just LOVE this chapter ;-) Thanks for reading!**

**Angel – Thanks for reading! Alex will eventually open up to Steve. They certainly have their ups and downs when it comes to communicating, don't they? Jason did a wonderful job at getting through to Alex and I'm sure there will be more Alson scenes in the future :)**

**Guest – was that a good OMG or a bad one? Either way, thanks!**

**Pinkphoenix1985 – Glad you enjoyed Alson! **** Haha, and yes, Steve is definitely considering the M word! :D Thanks!**

**Gear's Girl – Wow! Thanks for the awesome review! I spent a lot of time trying to understand Steve's internal struggles so I'm glad that it came across as real and believable. You have no idea how great your review made me feel! Thanks so much! :D**

**Sunny irish – Steve is slow but he's getting there ;) I think you'll enjoy the McRoll scenes in this chapter, too :D **

**AnonGuest – Thanks so much! Your review really brought a smile to my face, too! Sometimes I feel like there's too much emotion in this story but my characters took over control of it a long time ago, LOL. Again, I am so pleased that the raw emotion they are all feeling came across as real. I'll say it again: thank you! :D**

**FicreaderT – Seriously?! You think I "hit it out of the park"? That's so incredible to me. Wow, just wow. I'm smiling big time :D Thanks again for serving as the catalyst to digging into Steve's emotions – I couldn't have written that last chapter without you. :-) And about Catherine being a co-parent… well I think Steve definitely feels she's great at it, too. Thank you again! **

**Craftygirl11 – Thanks. Steve and Alex do have issues communicating sometimes and it's a good thing Catherine is there to knock some sense into the both of them. Steve is enjoying his time away from Oahu ;-) And, no worries, they WILL work things out. Yes, I saw the episode and I found it very entertaining! :D Episode – the next chapter is planned to include the Halloween episode (I think that was 5?). Thanks again!**

* * *

A light breeze was blowing, the palms on the palm trees swaying gracefully, and the stars shone brightly, twinkling in the night sky. The sound of the waves, which were rough earlier in the day, was peaceful and soothing. The moon, big and bright, cast a glow almost like a spotlight over the hammock as they lay there, cuddled together and completely relaxed. Steve sighed contentedly, dropping a kiss to Catherine's hairline as he brushed his thumb along the warm skin of her shoulder. He loved that he could feel the warmth of her hand through his t-shirt; her fingers resting directly over his heart. Call him sentimental but it was symbolic of how it was only her who had a hold on his heart; his heart belonged to her and only her.

Last night, immediately after expressing his wishes that Catherine should just move into his house, he had kissed her thoroughly before they had both surrendered to a languid round of lovemaking. Afterwards, completely sated, they had laid in the bed, wrapped in each other's arms, until their stomachs reminded them that they had skipped dinner. They had thrown their clothes back on – it had taken awhile to locate Catherine's bra – his haphazard toss had landed it _behind_ the dresser – and got back into their rental truck. They had driven to Mama's Fish House on the North Shore of the island, where they shared a sampling of lobster tails, Mahimahi sautéed in Panang curry and coconut milk, and a three fish sashimi accompanied by a bottle of wine. After dinner, they had stopped by a grocery store, picking up food items they would need for the rest of their weekend. After putting away the groceries, they had headed down to the beach, walking, hand-in-hand, for over an hour in the sand as the receding tide graced their legs periodically. They had made love again that night before falling into a deep and peaceful sleep.

Steve had woken up first this morning, at four-thirty, and, after watching Catherine sleep for five minutes, he had placed a soft kiss on her shoulder before getting out of bed and heading for a run on the secluded beach. After his shower, he had decided to surprise her with breakfast on the beach, only rousing her from sleep when everything – strawberries, blueberries, fresh squeezed orange juice, eggs just how she liked them, and coffee – was ready. They had then spent the rest of the day in the water – swimming, snorkeling, and scuba diving – forgetting to eat lunch. As they had headed back inside the house, Alex had called Catherine and he had gone to shower alone. As Catherine had taken her turn in the shower, he had put on his best suit and tie, surprising her with dinner reservations at the Lahaina Grill. They had gotten back to the house half an hour ago and, after changing out of their fancy clothing, had headed straight to the hammock out front.

He brought his free hand up, covering her hand that was on his chest, while kissing her hairline again. "Thank you."

"For what?" Catherine asked, tilting her head back to look at him.

"For convincing me to get away for awhile," he answered, smiling at her. "You always know what I need when I need it."

She returned his smile. "You're so good at taking care of other people but sometimes you need a reminder that you need to take care of yourself." She moved her hand up to his face, running her finger along the stubble on his jaw line. "I just hope this helps in some way."

He smirked lasciviously. "It sure is helping me in one _wonderful_ way." Catherine rolled her eyes and shook her head, swatting him on the chest. "Ouch," he said, feigning hurt. He laughed at the look of mild exasperation on her face. "Oh, c'mon, Babe, it's not my fault you're such a dyn…" He trailed off, seeing the look on her face that told him he was skating on thin ice; this wasn't the first time that he had talked about their amazing sex life when she had been trying to have a serious conversation with him. "Okay, I'll stop." He leaned his head down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Seriously," he said, pulling back only a few inches. "This is helping. Being here with you is helping."

"Yeah?" She smiled at him, placing a kiss on his jaw. "Good." She settled her head back against his shoulder. "So you're figuring some stuff out?"

"I don't know," he replied, continuing his ministrations on her shoulder. "I mean, what is there to figure out? My mom's alive and, even though I know she's hiding stuff from me and lying about what happened with Wo Fat, she's still my Mom. I missed her for twenty years and now she's back. Neither of us is the same person anymore and, even though I'm hurt by and don't agree with what she did, I still think we owe it to one another to get to know each other again." He ran a hand up his face to pinch the bridge of his nose. He shook his head and sighed. "But, at the same time, I have to put my daughter first and she's miserable right now." Catherine lifted her head to look at him. "I'm stuck," he stated. "I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place." He gave into an uneasy laugh. "I actually wish I was on some top-secret SEAL op right now because it'd be so much easier than this is."

"Maybe you need to sit down with both of them and explain to them what you just told me," Catherine suggested, hating the conflicted look in his eyes. She hated that he was struggling with all of this especially because he had not brought any of this on himself. It wasn't his fault that his mother had faked her death or that Alex and Doris just couldn't seem to get along. "Tell Alex that your mom is not going anywhere and that she needs to accept that. Tell your Mom that she can't encroach upon your time with Alex and that she needs to give Alex some time to warm up to her."

"That might work with my Mom."

"It might work with Alex, too," Catherine argued. "Just be firm with her. Stand your ground and tell her that disrespect towards your Mom will not be tolerated."

"It's more than that, though," Steve stated. He gave into a pained sigh, thinking back to his daughter's words just yesterday. "Alex, she… she told me that she's afraid I'm going to abandon her."

"What?" Catherine asked, her eyes wide. It wasn't so much the fact that Alex was afraid of being abandoned by her father – any kid who had gone through what Alex had with her mother would be – and, besides, Alex had admitted to her before that she had tested Steve to figure out if he would stop loving her. What she was surprised about was that Alex had actually admitted it to him. "When –"

"Yesterday outside of her school," Steve interrupted. "Cindy damaged my daughter, Cath, and, short of telling her everyday that I love her and that I'm not going anywhere, I don't know how to help Alex heal. I don't know how to make her believe that I will never abandon her."

"Maybe that's all you can do," Catherine assured him, running a hand through his hair before massaging his scalp to help soothe him. "She needs to continue going to her therapist – maybe Victoria will be able to help her deal with some of it." She studied his face for a few moments; the inner struggle he was going through was evident in his clenched jaw and the furrows in his brow. "Maybe you should talk to Jason about it." He was the only person that they knew who had experienced anything even remotely similar to what Steve and Alex had; he'd be able to provide Steve with a level of understanding that no one else could.

* * *

Bidding goodbye to Seth and Seth's mom, Josh closed the car door and turned to head up the walkway to the front door of his house. Putting his key in the lock, he turned and waved goodbye to Seth's mom as she backed out of the driveway. His dad's truck was not in the driveway, which told him that his dad, Sam, and Alex must have ran out for something since he wasn't expected to be home – after his game that morning, he and some of his teammates had headed out for lunch as had been previously planned – for another hour or so. Since the truck was not home, the last thing he had expected upon opening the front door of the house was to hear music and someone singing; someone, probably Sam, must have left the radio on again.

He stepped into the house, closing the door behind him. He hung his key on the key rack near the door and listened to a song that he had not heard since they had lived in North Carolina.

_And would you even recognize,_

_The woman that your little girl has grown up to be._

_Cuz I look in the mirror and all I see,_

_Are your brown eyes looking back at me._

_They're the only thing you ever gave me at all._

Josh then realized that the singing did not sound like it was coming from a CD or the radio – it was live. Even the piano music sounded live. Then it dawned on him that he was not alone in the house. Yet… was it really who he thought it was? He headed further into the house, listening as the singing continued. His heart started to _thud-thud-thud_ at the sound of the beautiful voice that he had never heard before.

_I think about how it ain't fair_

_That you weren't there to braid my hair like mothers do._

_You weren't around to cheer me on,_

_Help me dress for my high school prom like mothers do._

_Did you think I didn't need you here_

_To hold my hand, to dry my tears._

_Did you even miss me through the years at all?_

Josh reached the spare bedroom that housed the piano and sure enough, sitting there playing the piano, her bad ankle propped on a small footstool, and singing with her eyes closed was Alex. Alex had never – _never!_ – sung in front of him before and, as he watched and listened to her, he didn't understand why she had kept her voice a secret. Her voice was beautiful, angelic, and, as he watched her, he was reminded of the first day he met her and how this girl had completely changed his life. Somehow the tears rolling down her face didn't affect her voice at all. His heart began pounding in his chest and he felt his breath catch in his throat as she moved onto the bridge part of the song.

_Forgiveness._

_Such a simple word._

_But it's so hard to_

_When you've been hurt._

He unconsciously shifted his weight, causing the floorboard to creak. Alex's fingers halted over the keys as she jerked her head around to look at him while Anchor, who had been lying on the floor asleep, jumped up and padded over to him. As soon as Alex spotted him, a blush of embarrassment appeared on her cheeks. She turned back around to face the piano, swiping a hand across her damp eyes.

"Please don't stop," Josh said as he walked into the room and sat down next to her on the piano bench. "That was amazing." He reached over and placed a hand over hers and she looked at him, the blush getting more pronounced. "I know it's a sad song but your voice is beautiful. You've never sung in front of me before."

"I don't sing in front of anyone," Alex told him, dropping her eyes to stare at the piano keys. Even if it was just him that had heard her, she was still very embarrassed. "And my voice isn't very good at all."

"You're kidding me, right?" An amused smile graced his face: how could she think she had a terrible singing voice? When she didn't say anything, he reached up and stroked a finger on her warm cheek. When she looked at him again, he said, "C'mon, Alex, have I ever lied to you? I mean, if I suck at something you'd be honest and tell me."

"Well," Alex said, "I wouldn't just come out and say 'you suck'".

Josh nodded. "Yeah, but you'd still be honest with me. It's always been that way between us – we're honest with each other – and I'm being completely honest when I tell you that you have a beautiful singing voice." He grinned, a teasing quality in his tone. "And, I have to say, I'm pretty surprised that you actually know a country song." Out of their core group of friends, he was the _only_ one who actually admitted to enjoying country music. The time his family had spent in Texas and North Carolina had contributed to his enjoying the genre. As it was, Seth and Alex barely even knew the names of some of country music's most popular artists; if they did know one it was usually because they had become popular due to _American Idol_.

Alex shrugged, the blush on her face disappearing. "I figured that I'd give it a try since you seem to enjoy it so much." She smiled at him. "It's not that bad actually and a lot of the lyrics really speak to me." She glanced at the piano keys and, for the first time, Josh noticed that Alex had been playing and singing strictly from memory; there was no sheet music or song book present. "Like that song I just played –"

"_I Wonder_."

Alex nodded. "Yeah. I heard it twice and I already had it memorized. I only had to look up the notes once and I was able to play it from memory, too." She shrugged again. "It just resonated in my soul."

They both got quiet after that as they reflected on the words of the song. It resonated with both of the teens as it vocalized emotions that, at times, were so hard to express. Forgiveness was so incredibly hard to do, especially with the long-lasting effects of their mothers' choices. Josh finally cleared his throat as his mind started to think about how he would love to hear his best friend sing again. "You should sing more often."

Alex shook her head. "Can we please just keep this between us?"

"A voice like yours shouldn't be –"

"Please, Josh."

Josh sighed. "Okay, but I guess that means you have no desire to audition for _Les Mis'_." Alex's favorite French novel had been selected as the musical for the spring theater performance at their school. With a voice like hers, Josh could easily see Alex in a lead role of the show. It seemed like a perfect fit.

"Musical theater isn't really my thing." _Plus, I don't like singing in front of people._ _I don't even think my Dad has heard me sing._

"It's not mine either," Josh told her. He gave into a shrug. "But if you audition, I will, too." Yeah, he had no problem with bribery, especially when being selected to perform in the show would give Alex something to do in lieu of not being able to do anything athletic for the next couple of months. Besides, he honestly felt that she had an amazingly beautiful singing voice and people would be blessed to have her share it with them. Anchor barked and Josh laughed. "See, even your dog thinks it's a good idea."

* * *

As she pulled a tank top over her head, effectively covering the bikini bra that Steve favored over any other, she stepped into the kitchen and took in the sight of the domestic side of Steve. She loved days like today where she was witness to the dichotomy that was Steve: the rough-and-tumble, covered in mud, hunting and fishing for their dinner, adrenaline junky – pure man – one minute and wearing an apron, completely relaxed, covered in flour, and humming in the kitchen as he cooked the next. She leaned back against the wall, smiling as she watched him.

They had spent the morning at Iao Valley State Park, hiking over the moss covered floor of the valley towards the iconic Iao Needle. Giving into the primal caveman urges of his, he had ventured off of the well-worn trail, in search of the resting places of many Hawaiian Kings. He wouldn't have been Steve if he had not trekked – dragging her with him – through muddy sections of jungle; he must have been hard up for some sort of adventure, resorting to using the mud to create camouflage on his face as if they were on some secret, covert SEAL op. She imagined that he probably wished he had been able to act out some sort of war game in the jungle. When he had misjudged his footing, sliding into a deep puddle of mud, she had been unable to do anything but laugh at him. When they had emerged from the jungle, back on one of the trails used by tourists, he was covered head-to-toe in mud while her bare arms were covered with mud after he had wiped his muddy hands on them.

When they had reached the coastline, he had dived completely clothed into the ocean, emerging mud free. After that, they had trekked back to the car; this time they stayed on the trail. They ate lunch in the car – they had packed bagged lunches – before heading to Kaihalulu Beach; it was the first time either of them had witnessed the vibrant red sand that made the beach popular. She had been forced to walk away from him when he had suggested that they join the other nudists on the clothing optional beach; he had grinned like a horny teenager at his additional suggestion that they find a secluded _public_ (his emphasis not hers) place to be "naked" together. She had just rolled her eyes before turning back to snap some photos to show Alex and then she had practically dragged him back to their rental. When they had gotten back to the house, they had headed immediately down to the water where Steve proceeded to fish for their dinner while she had gone for a swim nearby.

Once he was satisfied with what he had caught, they had headed back inside. She had headed straight for the shower while he went in the direction of the kitchen. Now, forty-five minutes later, she was free of the combined smell of the jungle and the ocean and he had, based on the condition of the kitchen counter, been successful in gutting and deboning the fish. He continued to hum, completely oblivious to her presence. It wasn't until a few minutes later, when he turned to grab the trash can, that he spotted her. "Hi."

"Hi," she returned, stepping over to him and brushing some flour off of his face. "What happened to you?"

He grinned boyishly. "I wanted to surprise you by baking a cake and, well, let's just say I had a battle with the bag of flour."

"A cake, huh?" She reached up and brushed flour out of his hair. "What's the occasion?"

_Me deciding I want you to become my wife._ As much as he wanted to, he couldn't say that to her. Not when he hadn't bought an engagement ring yet. Plus, he had yet to talk to Alex about it. With everything else going on, he felt like he owed it to his daughter to let her know that he planned on adding to their family by proposing to Catherine. Instead, he just shrugged. "Just because." He placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Besides, you know us McGarrett's: more often than not, we make dessert when we cook dinner." That fact didn't necessarily apply to him but, then again, he wasn't the one who usually cooked dinner; Alex and Doris tended to make dinner at least twice a week each and Alex always made sure to have a different item for dessert with each meal she prepared.

"You miss her."

"Yeah," he replied, needing no confirmation of who she was referring to. "I kinda wish she had been at Iao Valley today with us; she would have enjoyed it." Of course, even if she had come to Maui with them, her broken ankle would have prevented her from hiking with them; he supposed he could've carried her on his back the whole way. "Sorry," he added.

"You don't need to apologize for missing your daughter," Catherine told him, stepping around him to grab the trashcan from the corner of the room. She carried it over to the counter, taking the lid off and raising it so it was flush with the counter. As she held it, Steve cleaned off the counter, pushing all of the trash into the lined garbage can. When he was done, he started wiping down the counter while she returned the can to its' rightful place in the room. "Speaking of Alex," she said, "she texted me while I was in the shower; Josh threw for four touchdowns this morning."

A flash of hurt registered in his eyes. His daughter had not texted him at all nor had she requested to talk to him after her phone conversation with Catherine yesterday. "That's great," he finally managed to say although his voice suggested differently.

"Steve –"

"I guess she's still mad at me," he stated, tossing the sponge into the sink and resting one of his hands on the countertop. "Doesn't want to talk to me at all."

"I think she's giving you the space that you need," Catherine told him, resting her hand on top of his. "She knows you –"

"I didn't realize that I was the source of most of her confusion and pain."

_Oh, Steve, she's confused about so much and her pain… most of that goes back to her Mom._ She thought back to a conversation she had once had with Alex, not long after their trip to Seattle, and, even though she had promised the teenager that she would not tell Steve, she decided that this was something Steve needed to know. Especially because she doubted that Alex had talked to him about it like she had advised her to do. "She's confused about a lot of stuff, Steve. More than just your Mom. More than her fear of being abandoned." Seeing the confusion in his eyes, she added, "She's confused about me, too." She spent the next five minutes telling him everything that Alex had admitted to her, explaining why Alex had acted so bipolar around her in Seattle and emphasizing Alex's confusion about what Catherine's exact relationship was to her.

When she was done, it took Steve a little while to respond. "Well, you do get along with her a lot better than Cindy did and you do an amazing job of parenting her," he pointed out. Then he asked her something that she had not expected to hear. "What would you like her to call you?" _Say you want her to call you 'Mom' and I'll drop to one knee right now._

"I want her to call me whatever she's comfortable calling me."

* * *

Alex clicked the send button on her phone, transmitting her text to the desired was three-thirty in the morning; she doubted he was still awake. Not even a minute later, her phone vibrated in her hands.

_Yep. Just dreamin' bout the day u turn 16 :-D _

Alex smiled at that as she replied to Josh's text. _LOL. 7 months n countin. Wanna go outside?_

_Meet u in the hall._

Five minutes later, she and Josh, with Anchor padding along behind them, were headed to the backyard. They probably could have met downstairs in the spare room where the piano was but, to prevent waking up Sam and Mr. Sullivan with their talking, they would have had to close the door and that was against the Sullivan – for the matter, also the McGarrett – house rules. If they were found to be alone together behind a closed door, they would probably never get to see each other again. Besides, she was already facing the grounding of a lifetime once her dad figured out how to punish her for running off to the airport the other night. Yeah, the backyard was the safest place for them to be.

They stopped when they reached the middle of the yard. Josh laid out a blanket he had snagged from the back of the couch on their way out of the house. They settled down onto the blanket, laid on their backs, heads propped on their arms, looking up at the stars. Anchor settled down between them, stretching his body out and making himself as long as he possibly could. After several minutes of silence, Josh spoke up. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Alex answered. "Just couldn't sleep."

"Is that because you couldn't help but consider auditioning for _Les Mis'_?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "I told you, Josh: I don't sing in front of people."

"I heard what you said, Alex," he replied, rolling onto his side and looking at her. He grinned. "But I still think you should do it."

"Wow," Alex said, shaking her head at him. "Since when do you subscribe to using peer pressure to –"

He laughed as he reached a hand out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm not pressuring you to do anything. I just think you should really consider doing it." He shrugged. "I mean, you don't have to sing in front of anyone until the day of the audition."

"Right," she acknowledged. "But _if_ – and I mean _if_ I'm as good as you think I am – and they select me for a role then I'd have to sing in front of hundreds of people."

Josh shrugged as if her statement was pointless. "So? By the time that rolls around you'll be well prepared to sing in front of people."

"Oh really?" Alex said, laughing at the look of utmost confidence on his face. "You think so?"

He nodded. "Yep," he said smugly. "Because I will convince you to sing for me every day for practice."

"You'll convince me?" she asked, her voice taking on a teasing quality. "You think so, huh? Just _how_ do you think you'll do that?"

He shifted closer to her so that his face was only a few inches above hers. He grinned confidently. Flirtatiously, he said, "I have ways of making you think it will be worth your while." He leaned down and kissed her softly. Lifting his head back up, he continued, "Every time you sing for me I'll give you a kiss."

Alex rolled her eyes and laughed at him, pushing him gently away from her. "So, if I don't audition, it means you'll never kiss me again?" She laughed even louder at the expression that appeared on his face. "That's what I thought."

He feigned a glare at her and then lay back down on his back. "Can you just please think about it?" He reached for her hand and laced his fingers with hers. Their hands rested on Anchor's back. "I really am considering auditioning and I think it would be something fun for us to do together." He laughed. "Can you imagine the looks on everyone's faces if _we_ show up at auditions? No one would ever expect it."

"Okay," Alex said, just to get him to stop talking about it; the thought of singing in front of somebody was very nerve wracking. "I'll think about it."

"Thanks," Josh said, turning his head and looking at her. "Seriously though, why can't you sleep?"

Alex sighed. "That song keeps playing on a continuous loop in my head."

"The one you were singing earlier?"Alex nodded and he stated, "You miss your Mom."

Alex shook her head in disagreement. "I miss Catherine." When Josh's eyes widened in surprise – he knew she was close with Catherine but had not expected her to relate that song to her – she explained, "Some of those lyrics make me think of her. My mom never braided my hair – at least, not that I can remember – but Catherine does. Catherine has cheered me on in so many ways and I know that she'll be the one to go prom dress shopping with me."

"Yeah," Josh agreed. "I could see her doing that with you."

Alex nodded. "There's a line in the song that talks about how the only thing the singer's mom gave her was her eyes."

"I know what line you're talking about."

Alex nodded again. "But I don't even have that in common with my Mom. I don't look anything like her." She laughed uncomfortably. "I actually look more like Catherine than I did her."

"What are you saying?" Josh asked, sensing that there was some underlying meaning to everything she was telling him.

Alex took a deep breath and expelled it. "I think – I think I've figured out what I'm supposed to call Catherine. I think I know what she is to me now."

Josh thought back to all of the talks they had had about Catherine. Alex had even called him from Seattle one morning, telling him about the letter from her mom and how she had fallen asleep listening to Catherine's heartbeat. The two of them had had numerous conversations about Catherine and everything that she did for Alex. Josh told Alex months ago that he felt that Catherine had become the mother figure that she had always needed. Before Alex even explained herself, he sensed what she would say.

"I think I'm supposed to call her 'Mom'."

* * *

**A/N: The song that Alex sings in this chapter is called "I Wonder" by Kellie Pickler. You can YouTube a live performance of this song (the 2007 CMA's) where Kellie ends up in tears as the song is a true testament of her life without the mother who abandoned her and her younger brother. I feel that this song was the **_**perfect**_** song for Alex's relationship with Cindy AND helping Alex discover who Catherine had become to her. **

**The inspiration for having Josh hear Alex sing came from reader adrien maciel who, about a month ago, sent me a pm requesting that Josh fall in love with Alex after hearing her sing. Adri had suggested a different song and, while I feel bad that I could not incorporate the suggested song into this story, I hope this does a little justice to that idea. **

**Please leave a review on your way out! Thanks!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: First: you all are awesome! Your amazingly kind and encouraging reviews mean so much to me – you have no idea! **

**Warning: this chapter refers briefly to a scene from Episode 5 of the third season.**

**This chapter isn't as long as I originally planned but I have a pretty crazy week ahead of me and I wanted to give you all something to read before the craziness begins. I'm shooting for 14 reviews for this chapter so please consider leaving some sort of comment after reading. Thanks! **

**Joe-Don-Rooney-is-amazing: First, Rascal Flatts is awesome and I love your screen name! Also, I am so glad you found this story and are enjoying it! I really like Danny and Alex, too. I hope to have more good scenes between them… if only my characters would cooperate! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**AnonGuest – Haha, "Gibbs-slap"… love it! As you will see, Alex feels the same way you do about the example he set. Thanks so much for your always encouraging and supportive reviews! It really helps keep me motivated. Thanks!**

**Camps1893 – Nice to know you are enjoying the story. Glad to know that you also like the Josh/Alex relationship and how Catherine has slowly become the mother that Alex never had. **** Thanks so much for your review!**

**Pinkphoenix1985 – Thanks for your great review. As for spoiling you… you're welcome! :D Steve is definitely thinking marriage and eventually he will drop to one knee ;) about the song – I felt it very fitting as well. Thanks for reading!**

**Gear's Girl – Thanks!**

**Guest – Thanks for your review!**

**FicreaderT – I'm glad you enjoyed the circuitous route I took with that last chapter. As you will see, something happens in this chapter that 100% gives Steve his unspoken wish ;) I agree, having Catherine in a full-time mother role will only do positive things for Alex's abandonment issues and her overall well-being. Thanks, as always, for your wonderful review. **

**Narwhayley – Steve and Alex have their talk(s) in this chapter. Not everything they discuss is written in this chapter but will be alluded to at some point. LOL, I don't care if you're a "creeper". :D Thanks for your review!**

**Sunny irish – Haha, I will keep teasing at it until it actually happens, LOL ;) (FYI, I already know **_**when**_** it's going to happen). I absolutely love your idea of Steve's book on rules for dating his daughter. I might just have to incorporate that it into this story, if you don't mind me borrowing your idea. BTW, I already have ideas for the day Alex turns 16… hahaha, poor Steve. :D Thanks for reading!**

**Susie8807 – Thank you! **

**Angel – Yep, they kissed and there will be more of that at some point ;) I think you might enjoy this chapter ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**Craftygirl11 – LOL, I think everyone reading wants them to get married. One day, you will all be very happy readers :D I think you will enjoy this chapter for several reasons… as for Chin: I never thought about addressing either of the things you suggested but they are both very good ideas. Thanks for putting those thoughts in my head ;) Thanks for the wonderful compliment. **

**Rolodexthoughts – They are really great for each other, aren't they? Oh, those two teenagers… I have a feeling they are going to create a lot of stress (more than they already do) for **_** both**_** of their fathers, especially once Alex turns 16. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

"That was good news," Steve said, turning the key in the ignition. He glanced over at his daughter, who was snapping her seatbelt into place. Oddly, she didn't seem as pleased with the news from the doctor as he had thought she would be. Or maybe that was just because she had been stuck alone with him all morning.

"Yeah," she answered, glancing down at her foot which now had a walking cast in it. Gone were the crutches that she had been forced to use for five weeks! Even though she still couldn't run, she had been given the okay to start bearing weight on her bad foot and the three times a week physical therapy sessions would gradually increase the amount of weight bearing activity she was allowed to participate in. As her dad pulled out of the hospital parking lot, she turned and stared out of the side window; now for a twenty minute awkward drive to school.

Her dad and Catherine had returned to Oahu late last night. She had already been at the house – Mr. Sullivan had dropped her off after dinner – and, in an attempt to avoid having to talk to Doris, she had headed straight for her room, listening to her iPod until she fell asleep. She had heard her dad and Catherine speaking with Doris when they had arrived home but, after hearing the two of them say they would head upstairs to check on her, she had rolled over to face away from the door. When she heard the door to her room open, she had closed her eyes and feigned sleep; she just had not been emotionally ready to face her Dad. Even this morning at breakfast, when he had said that he would be the one taking her to her doctor's appointment, she had not been ready to face him.

When her Dad bypassed the turn that they should have taken to get to her school, she looked at him but still didn't say anything.

"I called your school this morning and told them you would be absent today," her Dad explained, glancing at her before he turned his attention back to the road. He had checked to make sure she didn't have any exams or presentations today and, when she didn't, he decided to use his day off to their advantage.

"What? Why?"

"Because you and I are going to spend the day together," he answered. "We need to talk." When she didn't say anything, he added, "I was thinking brunch first and then we can head somewhere peaceful to talk." He sighed when she didn't say anything and, when he stopped at a red light, he just sat there looking at her; still nothing. The light turned green and he turned left onto Kalakaua Avenue. He decided to be a little bit more patient, testing her to see if she would respond to him in some way. They both remained quiet as he drove south, finally turning right on Ena Road. As he pulled into the parking garage of the Wailana Coffee House, he finally spoke. "Why won't you talk to me?"

"I didn't know you wanted me to," she answered truthfully. "I was following the example you set."

He raised an eyebrow at her in question as he pulled his truck into a parking spot. "What do you mean?"

"You're the one who stopped talking to me." From that first day over a year ago when she had showed up to visit him for the summer, he had lectured her on the importance of communicating with him. She would admit that, at times, she was the one to blame for poor communication. She knew that sometimes she still had problems with talking to him because, for so long, she didn't have him to talk to; she hadn't really had anyone to talk to. Yet, this time, he was the one to blame. Apparently his rules for communication did not apply to him. "Besides, I don't know what to say to you."

He shut off the truck and expelled a breath. His daughter had a point. He had neglected to say anything to her after finding her at the airport. "Okay, I guess that's a fair statement." He removed his seat belt. "Why don't you know what to say to me?"

"What do you want me to say, Dad?" she asked, taking off her belt and turning to look at him. "What do you want me to say?" she repeated, anger in her tone. "You want me to say I'm sorry for sneaking out of the house and buying a plane ticket to Seattle? Because I'm not – I felt like I had no other choice!"

"Okay," Steve replied. "First, you need to calm down. We need to –"

"I'm damaged goods, Dad," Alex interrupted. The volcano of emotions inside of her began to erupt. "And every morning I wake up wondering if today is going to be the day that you decide to pawn me off on someone else because you don't want to be my Dad anymore."

"That's not going to happen, Alex."

"Parents are liars!" Alex responded, her voice carrying even more emotion in it. "And, in our screwed up family, parents put their own needs before their kids – they don't care if their actions destroy their kids. Parents lie about their love and they lie when they say they won't ever leave you." She reached for the door handle. "I can't help it that I am afraid every single day of my life that you are going to abandon me! Mom did and Doris abandoned you and Mary! Mom ruined any chance I had of trusting that you won't leave me." She opened the door of the truck and hopped out. "I'm damaged goods, Dad!" She slammed the door and then leaned back against it, willing herself to not give into the tears that threatened to fall. She had been doing so well – the last few days at the Sullivan had been great – and now everything was, once again, hitting her like a ton of bricks.

Steve took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the truck. He slipped the keys into his front pocket and closed the driver's side door. He walked around the rear of the truck and cautiously approached his daughter. The last thing either of them needed right now was for one of them to cause a scene. "Alex," he said tentatively, reaching out a hand and just barely touching her shoulder.

"Mom ruined me, Dad," Alex said, looking at him with eyes full of tears. "She destroyed the person I was and now you choose Doris over me." With a shaky breath, she added, "Mom broke me and you also broke me by picking Doris over me. I'm broken and I don't think I'll ever get better."

When she finally allowed the tears to fall, Steve stepped over to her and tried to wrap his arms around her. She struggled against him, pushing him away, and then, when he tried to hug her again, she hit him, sloppily and with minimal force, over and over and over again, the side of her fist against his chest and he was certain that, if she actually decided to apply any true force behind her punch, there would be bruises on him later. Yet, he just stood there, letting her get out all of her anger – so much of it had been caused by him and, hell, he probably deserved worse – until, finally, she collapsed, exhausted, against him. "You _will_ get better," he told her, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "Because, damaged or not, I love you and I'm not going anywhere. You are stuck with me for life."

* * *

Steve and Alex walked into the house and were instantly greeted by Anchor. Steve glanced upstairs, wondering if his mother was home or not, as they headed straight for the lanai. He set the bag containing their take-out – Alex had requested that they not stay at the coffee house to eat – onto the table. As Alex took her seat, he opened the bag and passed out the food, watching her as he did. After the scene in the parking garage, she had stated that she didn't want to go inside – she had stayed in the truck while he had gone inside to order their food to go – and had not said another word since then. He knew she was hurting but, for that matter, so was he and they owed it to each other – he owed it to her – to talk things through. He figured he would try to ease the tension a little by asking her to talk about a different topic. "So, how was your time at Josh's?"

She didn't answer right away as if it was a struggle to answer even that simple question. "It was fine."

"What'd you do?"

She opened the container holding the fruit salad that she had ordered, picking out a piece of pineapple by hand. "Mr. Sullivan took Friday off and he took us on the Hoku Nai'a Dolphin Watch."

"How was that?"

She shrugged. "I couldn't do the snorkeling part of it, obviously, but other than that it was cool, I guess."

"That's good," Steve said, digging into his pancakes. It had been a wise choice to stop for food since neither of them had eaten breakfast that morning. "We'll have to go back when you are able to get into the water."

Alex didn't respond to that. She just sat there eating her fruit salad, avoiding his gaze by looking out at the water. Somewhere over the course of the last few months, his daughter had become so very hard to read at times. Watching her, he had absolutely no idea what was going through her mind. He wondered what she was thinking about. He didn't know if she was still mad at him or if she was just being silently contemplative about everything going on. Alex visibly tensed when Doris, stepping onto the lanai from the house, said, "I thought I heard someone come home a few minutes ago. Everything okay?"

Steve glanced at his daughter and then stood up. He placed a hand on his mom's arm and led her back into the house, stopping just inside the open door. "Everything's okay," Steve told her. He glanced back at Alex. "I need to ask you a favor: can you please go find something to do outside of the house for a few hours? I really need some one-on-one time with my daughter." He saw concern flash in her eyes. "She's okay and the three of us will sit down later and talk but for now I just need –"

"I get it, Steve," Doris said, her eyes focused on her granddaughter, noting that Alexandra had been upgraded to a walking cast. Doris returned her attention to Steve and smiled. "I have some stuff I need to do anyway." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Tell her I'm glad to see that she lost the crutches."

Once his mother had headed towards the front of the house, he stepped back outside, returning to the seat that he had just vacated. He reached over and plucked a strawberry out of her fruit salad, grinning teasingly when she looked at him with an annoyed expression on her face. He picked up his fork and used it to cut a piece of pancake. "Your grandmother said –"

"I heard what she said," Alex interrupted, leaning forward and pulling another chair over so that she could brace her injured foot on it. She looked over at him. "Do the three of us really need to sit down together?"

"Yes," he answered. He was going to take Catherine's advice to sit down with both of them at once. He would tell his Mom that Alex would always be his priority and he needed Alex to know that Doris was not going anywhere. He also needed Alex to understand that she needed to be respectful of her grandmother – disrespect would not be tolerated – and he needed his mom to understand how important it was for him and Alex to have one-on-one time. "But first you and I need to talk about what's been going on."

Alex sighed. "Everything's changed, Dad, and you don't even care. That's what's going on."

"Of course I care, Alex," he disputed. "I always care, especially about you, but I don't think _everything_ has changed."

"You have."

Steve shook his head. "I know that things have been… awkward around here with my Mom being alive but I'm still the same person. I'm still the same Dad."

Alex shook her head in disagreement. "No, you're not." Her eyes drifted away from him to look out at the water again. "Before she got here you never would have expressed that you wish I hadn't been born."

"I never said that."

"I heard what you said," she stated, anger lacing into her tone. "You –"

"Exactly," he interrupted. "It's what you heard; it's _not_ what I said. There's a difference."

"It's the same thing, Dad!"

"No, it's not." He sent her a look that told her she needed to check her tone. "I _never_ said that I wished you hadn't been born. I would never say that. I would never feel that way about you." He held up his finger to keep her from responding. "I _did_ tell my Mom that I wish she hadn't faked her death but I also told her that I wished she had figured out another way to go into hiding. I wish she hadn't faked her death because it would have kept my dad from spending the rest of his life trying to track her killer. If she had just been honest with him…" he trailed off momentarily. "Knowing that we were in danger, he still would have sent Mary and me to the mainland but he wouldn't have had to go through the pain of thinking his wife was murdered." He reached across the table and placed a hand on top of hers. "I don't regret getting sent to California. I don't wish I had never met your Mom and I _definitely_ don't wish you had never been born. Everything that happened in the first twenty years of my life led to your birth and that is something I would not trade for the world."

Alex was quiet for a few moments and she seemed to be thinking about what he had said. "Then why was it, as soon as she got here, that your relationship with me changed?" She saw the confusion flash in his eyes. With her eyes downcast, she explained, "We haven't been on one of our dates since she got here and you promised that we would always have them unless something came up, like you had to work or you were out of town for reserve drills or one of us was sick or…" she trailed off, shaking her head. "You broke your promise the minute she showed up in our kitchen." She withdrew her hand from under his and swiped it across her damp eyes. "I _loved_ our dates. I always looked forward to spending that time with you but your broke your promise." She swallowed the lump in her throat and dared to look at her dad. "When you did that, it reminded me of when Mom stopped doing stuff with me and it made me think that you didn't want me around anymore." She sniffled. "That's why I ran away. I wanted to go someplace where I wouldn't be a burden to anybody."

"You are _not_ a burden," he stated. When her eyes welled up with tears again, he scooted his chair closer to her. Wrapping his arm around her, he pulled her into him, kissing her on the top of the head. "You are not a burden," he repeated. "Not to me, not to Catherine, not to anyone." He rested his chin on top of her head. "I'll admit that I screwed up by not taking you on one of our dates since my Mom got here and I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to make you feel like I didn't want you around. That was not my intention at all." He sighed. "But the thing is, Sweetheart… this – having my mom show up alive after all these years – it hasn't exactly been easy for me. In a way, it's tougher than any of my missions with the SEAL's." At this, Alex dislodged her head from under his and looked at him. "I mean, I haven't even been able to tell Mary yet and…"

"She'll be here next month."

"What?"

"Mary. She's coming here next month for a short visit," Alex explained. "Don't worry," she added, "I didn't tell her." All those months ago, when her Dad had returned from Japan with the news that his Mom was still alive, he had made her promise to not tell Mary; he had wanted to tell her in person. "When she comes you can tell her."

Steve nodded, not bothering to ask for specifics on Mary's trip at this point. He'd ask for that information later when he asked just how long Alex had known that his sister would be returning to Hawaii. "This has been hard on me, Alex," he repeated. "I'm sorry I made you feel unwanted. I just – I wanted to try to make us all a family." He kissed her on the side of the head. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart. Forgive me?"

Alex nodded. "I forgive you and I'm sorry that I have such a hard time believing that you won't abandon me."

"It's not your fault that you have abandonment issues," he told her. _Your freakin' mother is to blame for that. In a way, so is Doris – neither of them has set a good example for you._ "I just want you to try to tell yourself, every single day, that I'm not going to leave you. And, if you ever start feeling the way you have been lately then _please_ let someone know. Okay?"

"I'll try."

"Good," he said, giving her a smile.

"Can we take a break from talking for awhile?"

"Sure," he answered. He was feeling a little emotionally drained at the moment; a break would be great. "What do you want to do now?"

"Can we go visit Catherine at work?"

* * *

As she waited for Josh to reply to her text, her eyes drifted to the note card on the corner of her desk. Even though she had it memorized, she picked it up and opened it. Her eyes scanned the unique handwriting that was all her dad's: _Things will get better, Sweetheart. I promise. I love you and I will never abandon you. – Love Always, Dad. _Below that, in hand printed letters was a quote that related to what she had said that day, two weeks ago, in the parking garage of the Wailana Coffee House. "_When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful." –Barbara Bloom. _She didn't know if her dad had already known that quote or if he had searched to find something that related to her feeling like she was broken. Either way, every time she looked at the note card or read the words he had written inside of it, it brought a smile to her face. It served as a daily reminder that her Dad had promised to never leave her.

The ding of her phone signaled an incoming text message. _Did u tell him? _Josh's question referred to the reason that she was currently banished to her bedroom – she had gotten home ten minutes late from hanging out with Josh and her Dad did not buy the excuse that they had just been studying. Of course, the _real _ reason her Dad had sent her upstairs was so that he could make out with Catherine on the couch. She knew they loved each other but couldn't they save that crap for when she was not around?

_No. U kno y. _She clicked the send button, already anticipating what Josh's response would be. He would advise her to tell her Dad exactly _what_ they had been studying, which would be songs for the upcoming _Les Miserables_ auditions_. _Yeah, she had finally agreed to audition for the musical – it wasn't like she had anything else to do since her ankle was still jacked up – but only if Josh auditioned with her. So, in the ten days since she had agreed to do it, she and Josh had been practicing the songs they would be singing for their respective auditions. Of course, she had made him promise to not tell _anyone_, not even Tracy or Seth, that she would be auditioning; it was their secret.

She heard the doorbell ring and then Danny's voice. Grinning, she sent off a quick text to Josh to tell him that she would catch up with him later and then headed to the door of her room. Opening her door, she saw Grace, who was wearing a bee costume, sitting on the floor in front of Catherine as she petted Anchor, and Danny standing in the living room wearing some sort of red cape thingy. "Thank God!" she said loudly, hurrying down the stairs as fast as she could with her walking cast. Looking at Danny she said, "Dad banished me to my room so _they_ could make out like a couple of teenagers."

"We – " Steve and Cath both started before Alex sent them a pointed look. Clearing his throat, Steve said, "You were sent to your room because I'm considering grounding you."

"Again?" Danny asked. 'What did you do now?"

"I –" Alex started.

At the same time as his daughter, Steve said, "She –"

They were both cut off by Catherine. "We're going to watch The Notebook. Want to watch it with us?"

A smile graced Alex's face. Moving past her Dad, she said, "I love The Notebook!" She settled down on the couch next to Catherine, reaching for a handful of popcorn before snuggling down against Catherine.

"Alex," Steve said, staring in disbelief at what had just happened. Wasn't it just a couple of nights ago on Halloween that he and Catherine had been interrupted by Danny? What was it with Danny constantly interrupting him and Catherine? Now, not only had his relaxing evening been ruined when Alex had gotten home late and then refused to tell him what she had been doing with Josh, but now, Danny and Grace were here _and_ Catherine had just over-ruled him on the punishment he had given to his daughter.

"Mom already said I'm allowed to watch the movie." Her eyes were riveted on the screen which was airing the movie's previews; she did not notice the looks of surprise on the faces of the three adults. Alex had never before referred to Catherine as "mom" but the way she had just said – it had been so natural – told them that she had been feeling that way about her for awhile. Mouths agape, Steve, Danny and Catherine all stared at Alex and then looked at each other. "What?" Alex asked, finally coming out of her trance when Grace settled down in her lap. She looked at her dad, befuddled, but not deterred, by his expression. "Can you please sit down so we can start the actual movie now?"

Clearing his throat, he stole a glance at Catherine whose attention was now on Alex. The look on Catherine's face was one of love; as if she was looking at her newborn daughter. He watched as the woman he loved ran her fingers affectionately through his daughter's hair. "Uncle Steve." Grace's tone was one of annoyance but it made him stop staring at the two brunettes who had completely stolen his heart: one on the day of her birth and one eight years ago in a bar in Coronado. He sat down next to Danny who leaned over and asked, "What's The Notebook?"

"You're going to hate it." It was way too girly of a movie and, to make matters worse, he had already watched this movie on multiple occasions, once with Catherine and once with his daughter on one of their dates when she was sick and wanted a movie day.

"It can't be that bad, can it?"

* * *

**A/N: There was one line in here (said by Steve) that is extremely similar to a line that was said by another character played by Alex O'Loughlin. Kudos to anyone who picks up on it. **

**As always, please leave a review. Remember, I'm shooting for 14 for this chapter. Thanks! :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Wow – 18 reviews for the last chapter! You all exceeded my goal and my expectations! Thank you! And, oh, the "familiar quote" I asked about, it was: ****"It's what you heard; it's not what I said. There's a difference." from The Backup Plan. Kudos to AnonGuest for guessing the right line!**

**Warning for some language. This chapter also includes references to Episodes 5 (Mohai or the Halloween episode referenced in the last chapter), 6 (I Ka Wa Mamua), and 7 (Ohuna) of season 3. As such, there is mention of the September 11****th**** terrorist attacks so be prepared to deal with your own memories of that day (my family lost a friend that day in the Pentagon attacks – my dad's former commander had an office which received a direct hit by the plane). That said, this may be an emotional chapter for some/many of you.**

**Craftygirl11 – Thank you. The Steve and Alex talk is a continual thing – it's something that needs to be discussed on a near daily basis. Thanks again for your ideas and for reading!**

**Sunny irish – Yep, they are on speaking terms again but that doesn't mean everything is kosher between Alex and Doris. Their relationship will take longer to mend. Glad you loved Alex calling Catherine mom! Thanks!**

**Lynnrxgal – I never watched Moonlight so that's pretty crazy that that quote was something included in that show. Crazy! Anyways, thanks for reading!**

**AdaYuki – Thank you! **

**Gear's Girl – That was my favorite part, too! When I first saw that episode back on its original air date I instantly knew that was the scene where Alex would say it! Thank you!**

**Duffster21 – Yeah, her calling Catherine Mom is a big step in the healing process. And, LOL, I can't wait for Alex to turn 16 either! Steve is going to have heart attack after heart attack, LOL! Thanks for reading!**

**Pinkphoenix1985 – Steve will continue to prove to her that he loves her (you will see that in this chapter). :D You're very welcome for spoiling you rotten! Haha! Thanks for everything!**

**Rolodexthoughts – Thank you. Mary does return in this chapter (although I only reference her for now). I hope to incorporate her in the next chapter. Thanks for reading!**

**Camps1893 – I love that Alex called her Mom, too! It's a big step in the healing process (I think!). Thanks for reading!**

**Guest – Thanks for the compliment! This chapter will show you what Steve and Catherine's reaction is to the Mom comment. Thanks for reading!**

**AnonGuest – I'm grinning like an idiot reading your review! Thank you! Glad you enjoyed how I incorporated episode 5; hope my brief references to episodes 6 and 7 are just as enjoyable. And, ding, ding, ding: you picked the right quote! Thanks for reading!**

**Ilovesinging – Thank you so much! LOL, you're not the first one who has said they cry over these chapters. Sorry! Thanks again for your incredible review and amazing compliment – I write because I enjoy writing so it's really nice to hear compliments like yours. It feels good to know that my writing has progressed to the point that I am able to evoke emotions out of the readers and that I am capable of capturing canonical character personalities. Thanks!**

**Guest – Thanks! Hope you continue to enjoy the story!**

**Pat Toby – Thank you!**

**Joe-Don-Rooney-is-amazing – They are my favorite pair, too! Thanks for reading!**

**FicreaderT – I hope this addresses some of your questions. As for Alex calling Cath "Mom" – I think it's going to make things a lot easier for when Steve does pop the question ;) And, yes, the three of them did have their talk but Alex and Doris still have a long way to go. Thanks for reading!**

**Carson34 – I respect your pairing preference but, from the beginning, I wanted to respect canon relationships. On the show Steve is dating Catherine so it will always be in my story. Thanks for taking the time to read and review! I appreciate it!**

**Angel – Alex calling Cath "mom" definitely makes Steve's decision to propose a lot easier. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint because I don't "show" Alex's audition. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

"Bye, Alex," a sleepy-faced Grace said, wrapping her arms around Alex.

"Bye, Grace," Alex returned, hugging the younger girl and kissing her on the top of her head. "See you tomorrow for mini golf." Releasing Grace, Alex sat back down on the couch, snuggling up next to Catherine and giving into a yawn.

"Alright, Monkey," Danny said, placing a gentle hand on her back. "Let's go home and get some sleep." He led his daughter over to the door where Steve was standing, his hand on the doorknob. As they reached him, Steve opened the door before bending down to hug the girl. "Good night, Grace."

"Good night, Uncle Steve," Grace said, hugging him as she gave into a yawn. Stepping out of the hug, she grabbed a hold of her father's hand and stepped out of the house.

"You're right," Danny muttered to Steve as he followed his daughter of the house. "I did hate the movie."

Bidding goodbye to his friend, Steve chuckled and then closed the door behind Danny. He locked the door and then looked at the couch. He just stood there for a few minutes, watching Alex and Catherine, until Catherine caught his eye. He returned her smile and then stepped over to the couch, claiming the seat on the other side of his daughter. "So," he said, tapping his daughter on the leg to get her attention. "What's with 'Mom'?"

"What?" Alex asked, blinking blearily. "Oh," she stated, her eyes wide as she realized what he was referring to. Instantly, she had a feeling that she had made a mistake. She pulled away from Catherine, regret flashing in her eyes briefly before a look of concern flooded her features. "I'm sorry," she said hurriedly, looking at Catherine. "I didn't think you'd mind because we had talked and you –"

"I don't mind, Honey," Catherine assured her, reaching over and squeezing the teenager's hand.

"Oh." A smile of relief graced her face but that was quickly changed to concern when she turned to look at her dad. "So you – do you –"

Steve shook his head. "No, Sweetheart." He glanced at Catherine and smiled a smile that reached his eyes. "If Catherine's okay with you calling her that, then so am I. I just – you just surprised me is all. I didn't realize you felt that way about Catherine. How long have you felt that way?"

Alex shrugged as she relaxed back against the couch. "Awhile, I guess. At first I was confused because I didn't understand why Catherine made me feel better about myself than Mom ever did. And I was confused because I felt like Catherine loved me more than Mom ever did and that just didn't make any sense to me." She glanced to her left at Catherine. "I mean, I'm not hers but she's everything I thought a mom should be. She's everything I thought _my_ Mom should be." She shrugged again. "And then I thought that it would be disrespectful to Mom to call Catherine 'Mom' and I really struggled with it but then Josh reminded me of what Mom had written on that check she mailed me - she told me to be happy and to be loved. Josh told me that I deserve to be happy and if calling Catherine 'Mom' and being loved by her makes me happy, then I'm not doing Mom any disservice." She got a little nervous again. "But if it makes either of you uncomfortable then I won't do it again. I mean, it's not like you two are married or that you even live together all the time." She looked at Catherine. "Maybe it is weird for me to call you that."

"Not weird," Catherine told her. Her eyes flitted past the teenager to land on Steve's. She smiled, remembering their conversation from weeks ago about her moving in. She had not been opposed to moving in with him – he and Alex had become her family – but there was one issue of being locked into a lease for her rental. Her ultimate concern though had been that Alex, with all of the changes that had occurred in her life that last six months, would not be ready for an additional person living in her home full-time. She had expressed all of that to Steve and they had agreed to re-address the matter in a couple of months. Now, however, she sensed that Steve would be bringing it up again soon, if not tonight.

"Definitely not weird," Steve assured his daughter, wrapping an arm around her and dropping a kiss to the top of her head. "Not weird at all. I just want you to be happy." He rested his chin on her head and looked at Catherine. "As long as you and Catherine are happy, then I'm happy."

* * *

His body was still trembling as he turned his truck in the direction of home. He had spent the last hour in absolute fear as the Bomb Squad had defused a bomb that had caused Danny to stand absolutely still; any movement would have triggered the bomb to go off. He had seen crazy shit like that before – red laser dots trained on a buddy's chest; bombs rigged to explode; friends' in mortal danger – but none – _none!_ – had paralyzed him with fear like today's event had. That insane shit had been part of the job – he had been prepared to confront those horrors during his missions – but he had never expected that yet another one of his teammates, another one of his friends, would end up having their life threatened by a bomb rigged to blow. It had been difficult enough when Chin had had the bomb strapped around his neck over a year ago; it had not been any easier this time with Danny.

Steve huffed out a breath, willing his body to relax. Shaking his head to clear it of the memory of that red laser dot on Danny's chest, his mind traveled to the story Danny had shared with him about who his daughter had been named after. Danny's partner in New Jersey had been named Grace and, after tracking down two of their suspects into a warehouse in New Jersey and being held captive by said suspects, she had been murdered in front of Danny. It had not made sense that, after hearing an endless stream of police sirens outside of the building, not a single cop had shown up to rescue them. It wasn't until later – after Grace was murdered and Danny had sought retribution on the criminals – when Danny, still hearing the steady sound of sirens outdoors, had exited the building only to find his fellow Newark PD officers speeding past the warehouse, ignoring his pleas for help, that he realized that September 11, 2001 had become a day that would live in infamy. Danny believed that he had been living on borrowed time since that day. The only reason he had not headed to the World Trade Center in response to the terrorist attacks was because he was trapped in a warehouse, watching his partner be murdered before his very eyes; her death had prevented his.

Steve shook his head again, willing his mind to empty itself of the raw emotion in Danny's voice as he had relayed the story to him. Steve's mind then, naturally, drifted to where _he_ had been on that tragic day. Cindy and Alex had flown out to Seattle exactly two weeks prior and, six days after they had left, he had been summoned to D.C. to participate in numerous intelligence briefings at the Pentagon. On the morning of 9/11, he had been scheduled to attend another meeting in the Pentagon yet, an hour before the meeting was to occur, he, along with the other members of his SEAL team, had been given instructions to head immediately to Coronado to prepare for an upcoming mission to Djibouti. They had been loading up into a C-17 when American Airlines Flight 77 slammed into the Pentagon – straight into the section of the building where their meeting had been scheduled to take place. He had never thought of it that way but, after listening to Danny, maybe he, too, had been living on borrowed time.

_Enough of that,_ he told himself as an idea popped into his head. Forget living with regrets for all of the time he had missed with his daughter. Instead of reflecting on those moments he had missed out on, he would start focusing on the moments he still had left with her; starting with taking her on a spontaneous father-daughter date to the same dance that Danny was taking Grace to. He flipped on the police lights and stepped on the gas pedal, making it home in record speed. He shut off the truck and hopped out, jogging through the front yard. Opening the front door, he stepped inside and, ignoring Anchor's greeting, took the stairs two at a time. Knocking twice on his daughter's bedroom door, he opened it and, spotting her sitting at her desk drumming out a tune with her pencil, said, "Can you be ready in ten minutes?"

"What?" she asked confusedly. "Ready?"

Steve nodded, grinning. "Impromptu father-daughter date night. Put a nice dress on – maybe the one Catherine bought you – and meet me downstairs in ten minutes." When she didn't move a muscle, he added, "I'm serious. Get dressed."

When Alex stepped out of her room ten minutes later, wearing the dress Catherine had brought her and had been ripped – her Dad had hand-sewn it afterwards – at the school dance, her Dad was standing in the living room, dressed in a very fancy black suit – he even had a tie on! "You look absolutely beautiful, Sweetheart," he said as she walked down the stairs with only a slight limp. When she reached the bottom, he kissed her on the cheek and extended his arm to her. "Let's go to a dance and then to dinner. Sound good?"

"Sounds great!"

* * *

Bidding bye to Josh on the sidewalk, Alex walked through the archway. She adjusted her new messenger bag on her shoulder and hummed a Tony Award winning song as she moved along the walkway leading to the front door. Sliding her hand into her pocket, she pulled out her house key. With the key poised to be inserted into the keyhole, a loud hammering noise came from inside of the house. Curious – no one else was supposed to be home until late that night – she leaned to her left and looked through the window; her dad was on a ladder in the living room and Catherine was standing at the bottom, stabilizing it. She opened the door and stepped inside the house. She was instantly greeted by Anchor who barked his hello.

"Hey, Sweetheart," Steve said, glancing at her briefly before taking a picture frame from Catherine.

"Hi, Honey," Catherine greeted, watching Steve as he made his way back up the ladder.

"Hi," Alex returned, closing the door behind her and dropping . She looked at the walls of the living room which, once relatively bare, now contained a multitude of pictures. "I thought you wouldn't be home until later?"

"Is that straight?" Steve asked, referring to the large picture of him and Alex with the Eiffel Tower in the background. Catherine and Alex both answered in the affirmative. "We decided to surprise you."

"With what?" Alex asked, looking around the room again. "A million and one picture frames?"

"You don't like them?" Steve asked, making his way down the ladder.

"I do," Alex answered. "Just surprised is all. The Navy bred you to prefer bare walls. This," she said, gesturing to the walls, "isn't really your style."

Catherine stifled a laugh. "That is true. Every apartment you've ever had has had plain white walls."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Well, I thought it was long past due to make this house a little more family oriented. I should have had pictures of you – of us – hanging up from the moment I moved back in here." For that matter, he should have had pictures of her hanging in every single one of his apartments, too. The past was what it was and all he could do now was try to make up for it by making sure his daughter could see and feel that she was loved by him.

"So that's what you wanted to surprise me with?" That didn't seem like much of a reason for him to take the evening off of work, especially considering he was in the middle of a case.

"Nope," Catherine and Steve said at the same time. With a grin, Catherine said, "We had such a good time when we went to Maui that we thought the three of us could go back together since you have a three day weekend."

"What?" Alex asked, clearly shocked. "But Dad's in the middle of a case."

"Not anymore," he replied. After discovering that the suspected serial killer they were hunting for shared an M.O. with a killer being hunted by the FBI on the mainland, their case had been transferred to the Feds. When that had happened just before lunchtime, he had called Catherine and suggested the idea of going on a trip – he had plenty of leave still saved up – and then had convinced Governor Denning – he had used the stress from the bomb incident as leverage for his request – to give his team the weekend off. "If you hurry up and pack we can leave tonight."

Alex quickly turned and sped up the stairs as Steve gave into a laugh. He and Catherine moved into the kitchen where they each grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. Not even ten minutes later, they could hear Alex coming back down the stairs and a few minutes later she stepped into the kitchen, clutching a piece of paper in her hands.

"So I don't forget once we get back from Maui," Alex said, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "I need you to sign this for me."

"What is it?" Steve asked as he tossed his empty water bottle into the recycle bin that was next to the trash can.

"Um," Alex said, wishing he could just sign it without needing details or reading it. "Parents just need to sign it to say they agree to help with a project."

He gave her a curious look as he leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "What project?"

"Um," Alex hesitated.

"Alex?"

At the sound of Catherine's voice, the teenager realized she just needed to come out with it. She knew it would surprise both of the adults and she could imagine what her Dad's reaction would be but she couldn't hide it from him – or anyone for that matter – for much longer anyway. She walked over to him and placed the paper on the counter. "To help with set design."

"Set design?" Steve repeated, taking a cursory look at the form. "What do you have to do with a play?"

"Musical," Alex corrected. A slight blush appeared on her cheeks. "I, uh, I auditioned and got selected for a role in _Les Miserables_."

Steve and Catherine looked at each other. "What?" they both asked at the same time, not quite believing what they had just heard. Alex had never – _never!_ – expressed interest in musical theater. "You auditioned for a play?" Steve asked again.

"It's a musical," Alex repeated. "But, uh, yeah," she continued, her eyes darting to Catherine and then back to her dad. "I did. It's what Josh and I have been working on for the last couple of weeks." As she had expected, her Dad threw his arms around her, embracing her tightly.

"I'm proud of you, Sweetheart," he told her. "A little surprised – I didn't realize you had an interest in musical theater – but I'm proud of you."

"I didn't really think I was interested in it either," Alex admitted, giving into a shrug. "But Josh overheard me singing one day and thought I should. Oh, and he also was picked to be in the show."

"Of course he was," Steve muttered. Did those two kids have to do _everything_ together?

"That's great, Honey," Catherine said, stepping forward and hugging her. "You know, I've never heard you sing."

"Come to think of it," Steve chimed in. "I don't think I have either."

Alex laughed and shook her head. "Nice try. No one except for the cast and crew will get to hear me sing until opening night. I'm not going to give you and Mom an early listen just because you're my parents." Her comment caused Steve to grin and he embraced both of his girls, kissing Catherine chastely on the lips before kissing his daughter on the head.

"So, _Les Mis'_, huh," Steve said, his arms still wrapped around both of them. "Which characters are you and Josh going to play?"

"Josh got picked to play Jean Valjean," Alex answered, so proud of him for being selected for the lead role. "And I really thought they would pick me to be either Cosette or Eponine." She backed out of the family hug slightly. "Fantine. I got picked to play Fantine." She didn't tell them the reason why she got selected for the minor – minor in the sense of stage time – role. It had pretty much been a last minute decision that had only come after the director had requested that Josh and she sing a duet – all of the auditions had been solo acts, including hers and Josh's – from the show. Even though they had been told to sing a duet for the characters of Cosette and Marius, apparently the director had visualized them in other roles and selected her as Fantine so that she and Josh could sing the opening half of the show's final musical number.

"Which one was Fantine again?" It had been years since Steve had read _Les Miserables_ – he had read it as a sophomore in high school – and the only character he remembered was Jean Valjean.

Alex laughed. "Guess this means you'll be taking me to see the new movie version when it comes out in December."

Steve and Catherine laughed. "I guess so," Steve said, releasing both of his girls. "Now what do you say about heading to the airport?"

* * *

Doris walked slowly up the stairs in search of her son. She continued past his room – the room that she had once shared with her husband – when she saw that the door was open and the room was empty. She continued down the hall, peering into her granddaughter's room. When she spotted her son sitting on the floor next to the bed, his back against the nightstand and Anchor's head in his lap, she stepped inside and sat down next to him. In her son's hands was a picture; she looked at it for several long seconds. "Is that her Mom?" Her son's slight nod was the only answer she received. "She's beautiful." When her son didn't answer, she said, "I didn't know she was murdered." Three hours ago, Alex had, in the middle of her reunion with Mary, blown up at her and, at one point, had blamed her for her mother being killed. She had left the house, leaving her, Mary and Steve together in the house until Steve had received a phone call from Catherine, telling him that Alex had shown up at her place. Steve had returned a half hour ago without his daughter. "When –"

"February," he answered, his voice gravelly.

"And what Alex said…about Wo Fat," Doris started, ignoring the dog who was lightly growling at her. "He –"

"Does my daughter have proof that Wo Fat was responsible for Cindy's death?" Steve asked, his hand resting on Anchor's head, calming the dog. "No she doesn't but her gut tells her he was," he said, glancing briefly at his mother when he finished his statement, "And I _know_ for a fact that he was." It had been several months now since he had received a phone call from Jeff, who informed him that a man named Dmitri Balakov had been arrested in connection with Cindy's stabbing. "The man who stabbed Cindy was the brother of one of the men Wo Fat hired to kidnap Alex and who later held a knife to my child's throat."

Dmitri Balakov had admitted to the attack on Cindy, telling Prague police that he had been hired by an associate of his brother's, a man named Wo Fat, to follow her in the hopes of being led to Alex. After calling Wo Fat to let him know that, firstly, the girl was not with her mother and, secondly, that he thought the woman had figured out she was being followed, he had been instructed to do what he needed to do to make sure Cindy would not talk.

"Alex was kidnapped?" Doris asked, shock and concern for her granddaughter flooding her heart. "He held a knife to her –"

"Wo Fat has wreaked havoc on this family," Steve interrupted, anger rising to the surface. "Although I raised my daughter to behave better than she did earlier, I understand why she's upset. I understand her anger." Reaching behind him, he grabbed the picture frame off the nightstand and showed it to his mother. "Dad meant everything to Alex. They were very close. He was her whole world and Wo Fat took him from her. Because of Wo Fat's quest for revenge, my daughter lost both her grandfather and mother in a span of less than eighteen months." He shook his head while he blinked away the moisture from his eyes. "It took Alex a long time to get over dad's death and now, with you being alive after faking your death, she is reliving it all over again. She's questioning everything all over again and now my daughter doesn't even want to live here anymore." When he had arrived at Catherine's, Alex had still been clearly upset and had told him that she didn't want to live at home anymore. It had just about killed him to hear her say that but, after talking to Catherine, he had acquiesced, allowing her to stay the weekend – just the weekend – with Catherine. After that, he had told her, she would have to come back home. "Alex is…" He trailed off when Anchor started to whine. The dog was already missing Alex as much as he was. "I don't blame her for feeling the way she does."

"I never thought your dad would send you and Mary away," Doris told him. "I never thought that he would relentlessly pursue whoever was responsible for my death. I did what I had to in order to keep all three of you safe. I know the truth has hurt you and Mary. I know that—"

"The only reason I don't hate you for what you did is because, if you had never died, I never would have gone to California," Steve said, interrupting her. He was tired of her excuses, tired of hearing the same story over and over again. Alex's outburst a few hours ago only added to his frustration. "Being sent to California introduced me to Cindy and, because of that, I have my daughter." Looking at his mother for the first time, he added, "As appropriate as it would be to hate you right now, I can't for one reason and one reason only: my daughter."

"Steven –"

Steve shook his head and stood up. "No, Mom." He set the picture frame back down on the nightstand. "Listen, I am so happy that you and Mary have reconnected and I am very glad that you aren't really dead but this is hard, you know that." He shook his head. "I raised Alex to behave better than she did tonight but, at the same time, I know where she's coming from. I was in the same position as her when her mother walked back into her life after relinquishing her parental rights months earlier." He held up his hand when he saw his mother open her mouth to say something. "Watching you and Mary reminds Alex of her mom. It reminds her of when Cindy abandoned her and when we found out that she was dead. With that comes a lot of pain. Being at Dad's gravesite today with Mary was really painful for Alex. It brought back so many memories of Dad's death." He took a few steps towards the door, stepping around his mother. "I love you, Mom, but right now I need to be with my daughter." He called Anchor over to him, petting the dog on the head. "I'm going to spend the weekend at Catherine's with her. I hope you and Mary use my absence to spend some quality time together. I know she has a lot of pain that only a mother's love can resolve."

* * *

**A/N: I don't remember if the show ever mentioned where Steve had been on 9/11 so, if they have, then my apologies for changing that piece of canon. **

**I debated about writing Alex's meltdown but decided it was enough to just refer to it. Hope it doesn't disappoint! Also, I hope what Steve said to his mom in the last scene doesn't seem too harsh. As always, please read and review. It'd be awesome to shoot for 14 reviews again! Thanks!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I feel like my muse is running away from me. These chapters get harder and harder to write… Warning for language and a quick mention of someone being "horny". Also, this episode refers to a scene in Episode 8 and also to a major part of Episode 9.**

**Narwhayley – Thanks. Alex definitely considers Catherine a parent and, as you will see, she is more than excited for it to become official. The "question" is coming soon, I promise! :-) **

**Gear's Girl – Thank you!**

**Angel – Haha, I love that quote, too. Josh and Alex certainly do spend a lot of time together. And, yes, even though Steve was hurt by his mother faking her death, he sees the silver lining it… he wouldn't change a thing about his life since his daughter exists because of it. Thanks for reading!**

**Pinkphoenix1985 – First, thanks for sending me a link so I could view Episode 9. Haha, Josh as Valjean… oh man, I can see it now… he is going to have so many girls just flock to him – he's going to have to beat them off with a stick! I have a reason that I assigned the role of Fantine to Alex ;) Thanks for reading!**

**Rolodexthoughts – Thank you! It will be awhile until we see the musical but I hope you will enjoy it when we do get there. **

**JMReagan – Great minds think alike! That is all I'm going to say about your last comment (chapter 13) ;) Thanks!**

**Guest – Mary's in this chapter. It's not very lengthy but I hope you enjoy it anyway! I love what you said in your review: "Steve deserves to be with Alex more than Doris deserves to be with Steve". Wow! Thanks!**

**Sunny irish – Alex proposes an idea in this chapter that might help Doris "get out" (out of the house at least!). LOL, I hear your feelings on Doris loud and clear :-)**** Thanks for reading!**

**FicreaderT – Great minds think alike! You suggested the same idea about Catherine's lease that Alex suggests in this chapter! Thanks for pointing out that the transitions in the last chapter were choppy… I sensed that something wasn't quite right with it but could not figure it out… that was probably it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**AnonGuest – Thanks for the amazing compliment. I really try to make the addition of Alex as seamless as possible and, I'll be honest, sometimes it is so difficult to do so. I'm glad you liked Steve's little "chat" with Doris at the end of last chapter. Thanks again!**

**Seventeenforeverxoxo – Thank you so much for your review! You're right – their relationship is complicated but also so extraordinarily beautiful. As you will see, both of the McGarrett's want their relationship to become "official"! Thanks again!**

* * *

"It's not that I'm unhappy about you reconnecting with her," Alex said, looking at her aunt from across the booth of the Wailana Coffee House. "It's just… I don't like what she did to you guys. I don't like what she did to Grandpa."

"It's okay," Mary assured her. "Your dad and I don't really like what she did either but she's still our Mom." The last thing she had expected to hear from her brother when he had met her at the airport was that their mother was still alive. That news had been heart-wrenchingly painful. So much so that she had told Steve that she didn't want to see her. Instead, she had spent the afternoon at her father's gravesite – Alex had actually shown up there not long after she had – and then the evening on the beach, trying to make sense of everything. It hadn't been until Morty – the elderly man she was serving as caretaker for – suggested that she go see her mom that she had driven over to her childhood home. Almost immediately after her arrival at the home, Alex had gone into meltdown mode, yelling at and blaming Doris for so many terrible things. Then Alex had left and Mary had not seen her since then. Missing her niece, that morning Mary had picked up the phone and called Alex, suggesting they go to the nail salon for mani-pedi's before meeting Steve for lunch.

Alex nodded. "Yeah." She took a sip of her water. "I'm sorry if I've made it harder on you."

Mary shook her head. "You haven't." She shrugged. "I get it, Alex. You're trying to protect us from getting hurt again." Alex looked surprise at that and Mary laughed. "That's one of the good things you get from your Dad – you both are very dedicated to protecting the people you love."

"I'm sorry I wasn't around Friday night or yesterday," Alex told her. "You're leaving tomorrow and…" she trailed off, not entirely sure what to say. "I just couldn't be around her anymore."

"It's okay, Alex," Mary assured her again. "I understand and, even though I wish we could have spent more time together, we will get to see each other again soon."

"We will?"

Mary nodded, grinning slyly. "I'm coming back for Christmas _but_ I want to surprise everyone when I do, okay?"

Alex nodded, giving into a grin. "Your secret is safe with me!"

"Good," Mary said, taking a taste of her tea. "Now, quick, tell me all about Josh before your Dad gets here." When Steve had dropped Alex off at the nail salon this morning, she had proposed the idea that the three of them should have lunch together. Steve had gone off to run some sort of top-secret errand – he had refused to tell either of them where he was headed – but had agreed to meet them at the Wailana Coffee House for lunch at noon. Steve should be arriving at the restaurant within the next five minutes and Mary wanted to hear all about Alex's relationship with the teenage boy she had read about in Alex's emails to her. "You have a picture of him?"

Alex pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. Swiping her finger across the screen to unlock it, she pulled up the picture album and scrolled through several pictures. Locating the one she had been searching for, she enlarged it on the screen and handed the phone over to Mary.

"His eyes are so green," Mary commented. Smiling at Alex, she added, "He is _very_ cute."

Alex laughed, taking the phone back. "He is hot!" Taking a cursory glance around the restaurant and not spotting her dad, she added, "He's a really good kisser, too!"

* * *

Looking around Steve's living room, Catherine holstered her weapon. When Channing beckoned her over, she stepped towards him, taking in the sight of blood and a tooth on the floor. The only question: did the tooth and blood belong to Doris or to Mangosta, the Colombian assassin, long thought to be dead, who had been trying to locate Doris? This day had quickly gone from bad to worse. She had stepped into her house that morning only to be confronted by WITSEC Agent Channing – the same agent whose account she had hacked into to determine where Doris had gone after Steve had put her on a plane – and, after using the hand-to-hand combat skills she had learned in the Navy to rid him of his service weapon, she learned that he had Intel that one of Doris' old targets – Mangosta – had faked his death and was on the island to seek revenge on Doris. She and Channing had gone to talk to Doris, to let her know that Mangosta was alive, but she had insisted that there was no way he was alive. Catherine was pretty sure she had pissed Steve's mother off when she pointed out that it Mangosta would not be the first person to successfully fake their death in an explosion. Still, Doris had been unconvinced and she and Channing had left. Later, they had tracked Mangosta down to a hotel – there had been proof in his hotel room that he had been following Doris – but he had ended up eluding them so they had immediately headed to Steve's house to protect Doris but, obviously, they had been too late.

She startled at the vibration of her phone in her pocket. It was Alex. "Something happened at my house. You gotta come here." Alex's frightened but hushed voice came over the line before she even had a chance to greet the girl.

"I'm at your house, Honey," Catherine assured her. It took a few moments for it to dawn on her what Alex had said. "Wait, are you still here?"

"Mom?" Alex's voice did not come through the phone but from upstairs. Catherine looked up, spotting the teenager as she started a hurried descent down the stairs. Reaching the landing, she practically launched herself into Catherine's arms. Trembling from fear, Alex reported, "He had a gun and she had a – they – they – they fought and – I think – I think – she took him."

* * *

Alex's comment about Doris taking Mangosta had not made sense at the time – she and Channing both thought Alex had misspoken due to having been terrified – so they had brushed it off as the teenager just being confused. They had quickly ushered Alex out of the house and, after getting a GPS location from Chin, they had dropped Alex off at the Sullivan's – it was on the way – and then had headed to the location Chin had provided them. Upon entering the warehouse, the sight in front of them had made them both realize that the teenager had been very accurate in her recollection of what had happened: Mangosta was strapped to a chair and, standing over him, using car battery cables to torture him, was Doris.

An hour later, Catherine pulled up in front of Steve's house; a bruised Doris sat in the passenger seat of the car. Still in shock over discovering Doris' penchant for torture, Catherine didn't say anything.

"Please don't tell my son about this," Doris requested.

"Doris, I –"

"Please, Catherine," Doris requested again. "I don't want Steve to know."

"He might already know," Catherine told her. Seeing Doris' confused expression, she explained, "Alex was home earlier. She saw you and Mangosta fighting."

"She was home?" Doris asked, not quite believing what Catherine had told her. "I would have heard her come home."

Catherine shook her head. "She came in the same way she went out that night she went to the airport." She shrugged. "She didn't want to talk to you so she snuck in through her bedroom window."

"How much did she see?"

"I'm not sure exactly," Catherine told her. "But she was pretty adamant that she saw _you_ drag Mangosta out of the house."

Doris didn't respond right away. She expelled a breath. "Okay." She flipped down the visor and checked the bruise on her face in the mirror. She couldn't exactly hide the bruise from her son anyway. Even if she covered it with makeup, Steve would probably figure out something had happened. "Okay," she repeated. "Can you please not tell him about what happened in the warehouse?" That was one thing that her son certainly did not need to know.

Catherine hesitated to respond as she considered her options. If she told Steve what had happened after his mother and Mangosta had left the house, it would probably cause him to have even more distrust of his mother. Additionally, it would cause him even greater fear about something happening to her. Yet, if he knew that his mother engaged in torture it might very well bring back memories of when _he_ had been tortured by Wo Fat and that would cause more angst and mental anguish that he certainly did not need in his life right now. If she made this promise to Doris and Steve found out, it would more than likely cause problems between her and Steve. As she thought about it, she decided that was a risk she was willing to take; she truly believed that not telling him was for his own good. "I promise."

* * *

"I want to talk to you about something," Steve said as his daughter turned in their mini golf clubs to the employee in the booth. Only yesterday had he come home from his case to find his mother sporting a bruise on her face and his daughter trembling with fear every time she was in the same room as his mother. Catherine had finally explained to him what his daughter had witnessed and, while it concerned him that an assassin had been after his mother, it pleased him to know that the assassin had been taken into custody. His daughter had still been a little apprehensive that morning at breakfast so he had decided to take her on another spontaneous father-daughter date, first to play a round of mini-golf - he still owed her a rematch from the last time they had played - and then, before heading to the North Shore for lunch, he would get her opinion at the jewelry store.

"Okay," Alex said, turning away from the booth and falling into step with him as they made their way out of Glow Golf and into the mall.

Steve spotted a free bench and, with a hand on her shoulder, steered her towards it. Sitting down, he smiled at her before his eyes flitted past her to glance at the jewelry store only a few store fronts away. "So a couple of weeks ago, when Catherine and I were in Maui, I asked her to move in with us."

"Cool!" Alex said enthusiastically. "But wait," she said, her expression changing, "she's not living with us." Surprise flooded her features and incredulity filled her tone. "She said no?"

"Not exactly," he answered. Seeing her confused expression, he explained, "She is not opposed to moving in but we weren't sure how you would feel about it and –"

"I think it's a _great_ idea," Alex interrupted. "I love Catherine." She laughed. "I call her 'Mom'."

Steve laughed. "I know you do and I figured you'd be okay with it." He shrugged. "But her lease also does not end until June."

"So?" Alex said, shrugging her shoulders. "Make Doris move into Catherine's house then Mom can move into our house."

Steve didn't respond for a minute. He hadn't actually thought about his mom taking over Catherine's lease for her. Pretty damn good idea actually. "So you'd be okay if Catherine decided to move in?"

"Of course!" Alex said with a grin on her face. "That'd be awesome." She shrugged. "I call her 'Mom'. It's only logical for her to live with us all the time."

Steve returned her smile. "Well, good, I'm glad you feel that way because there's something else I want to talk to you about."

"Okay."

"I'm, um, I want to ask Catherine to marry me."

Alex squealed with excitement causing some passersby to look at them. "Seriously? That's awesome!"

"So I guess that means you're okay with it," Steve commented, laughing at her excitement. He expelled a breath, grateful that she had just made that part of this whole thing that much easier.

"Of course I am!" she answered, throwing her arms around him and hugging him. "The three of us are a family already anyways. It only makes sense to make it official." This was better than great: her Dad marrying Catherine would give her a type of family that she never had before. She'd have two parents who loved each other and her. They would be a real family!

Steve's smile grew even bigger. "Good. Great!" He glanced at the jewelry store again. "C'mon," he said, standing up. "I need your help with something." He had spent some time at the jewelry store just the other day – Alex had been with Mary – looking at engagement rings. He had managed to narrow it down to two and, even though he had a feeling which one he would end up buying, he wanted to know which one Alex thought Catherine would like best.

"Dad," Alex said, halting him in place when she reached for his hand.

"What?"

"Um," she started, a little hesitant to tell him because she wasn't sure how he would react. "Since you're going to propose, do you think it'd be okay if I ask her to adopt me?"

* * *

He had been sentimental for the last couple of hours, ever since his conversation in the jungle with Cordova. Cordova was the man who had staged a bank heist that morning in order to help a friend and fellow cancer patient named Jim die a hero in his daughter's eyes. Cordova, wanted by the Feds for twenty unsolved murders on the mainland, also had kids, Steve had sensed that, but he had refused to talk about them. Instead, Cordova had talked about Jim and how Jim's ex-wife wouldn't even let him see his daughter. Steve had sensed that Cordova had agreed to help grant Jim his dying wish because he, himself, was facing his own mortality and hoped that by helping Jim it would make up for all of pain he had caused. As he had talked to Cordova, Steve found himself thinking about Alex and how, not too long ago, he had also been a father who never saw his daughter. He still, even though he never admitted to anyone, not even Catherine, carried regrets about not having been there when his daughter had needed him. He felt a connection to Cordova, to Jim, and, not that he agreed with their methods, he understood what it felt like to want to die a hero in your child's eyes; as a father, he, too, did not want to leave this world with Alex hating the type of man he had become.

There had actually been a moment there when, after Cordova had told him to stop walking in the jungle and instructed him to turn around, he had felt that his own mortality was at stake. He had just stood there, channeling mental images of Alex, hoping that her memories of him would be happy ones and that she would feel that he loved her with all of his being. Fear and sorrow had filled him for a few moments but when he turned around to face Cordova, he was confident that his face did not betray his emotions. It had shocked the hell out of him when Cordova had pulled his service weapon out of his waistband and handed it to him. When Cordova had asked him to shoot him, stating that no one would know it was not self-defense, Steve had silently refused. There had been absolutely no way that he would give Cordova his dying wish.

His team had shown up then, arresting Cordova after he had wrestled his gun away from the man, and, since then, he had remained sentimental, his mind flooded with memories of Alex growing up. When Danny had told him that they had been given VIP tickets to the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, Steve had instantly known that he would be taking his daughter as his date. Now, as he helped his daughter get out of the car, it took his breath away, for the second time that hour, at how grown up she was; Alex was not his little girl anymore. The looks she had been receiving from teenage boys during dinner had just about driven him up a wall – it had taken nearly all of his willpower to not get up and strangle every single of them – but, as much as he had hated that, he had to admit that his daughter looked very beautiful in her dress. A part of him hated how young womanish she looked – couldn't they go back to the time before puberty had hit? – but the other part of him was so proud of the young woman she was becoming.

They met Danny and Grace just outside the entrance of the building and then headed inside. Grace immediately pulled out her cell phone, pushing buttons on it as they walked. "This is so cool," the young girl expressed, an excited smile on her face.

"Cool?" Danny asked as they stopped in place to talk. "Your face is glued to your phone."

Grace just looked up at him. "I'm tweeting pictures to my friends so they can see where I am."

Danny looked confused and looked at the McGarrett's. "What did she just say?"

Alex rolled her eyes, laughing at Danny's confusion as she pulled her own cell phone out of the purse she was carrying. As she did that, Steve decided to answer Danny's question. "She…" he trailed off, figuring it wasn't worth explaining to Danny. "You know what?" he said, directing his question to Grace. "Forget about him." He reached over and took Grace's phone. "I'll take a picture of you and we'll really stick it to them."

"Thanks, Uncle Steve."

"You got it," he returned, snapping several pictures of her as she posed for the camera. Spotting Arlo, the man who had called them that morning asking Five-0 to look into threatening messages that were being sent to the models, coming towards them, he handed the phone back to Grace. "Arlo!"

"I can't thank you enough for what you did," Arlo said, shaking Steve's hand. D:

"Whoa, whoa," Danny said, his face expressing his disbelief. "What are you thanking him for? He didn't do anything; I did everything".

Ignoring Danny, Steve's eye locked onto a familiar body not standing too far away. "Look at this," he said, reaching for Grace's hand while wrapping an arm around his daughter. "Alex, Gracie, come here." He led them further into the room, approaching Kamekona and another very large man from behind. He cleared his throat. "Aloha, gentlemen."

Kamekona turned around joined by the second man who could only be a relative of his. Around Kamekona's neck was a badge which had Steve's name printed on it. That explained the VIP passes that had been unexplainably missing at the entrance. "Looking sharp, guys," Steve complimented.

"How did you get in tonight?"

Kamekona didn't answer right away as he thought about what lie he would use. "Um, I used to date one of the models."

Danny reached a hand out and touched the badge around Kamekona's neck. "Did she give you Steve McGarrett's pass?"

Kamekona was spared the need to answer when one of the models called Danny's name. "Hey look, it's Danny". All four of them – Steve, Danny, Alex and Grace – turned around to see Behati walking towards them with two other models. "You made it."

"You look great," Danny commented.

"Thank you," Behati returned.

Another model that Danny had interviewed that morning bent down to look Grace in the eye. "This must be Grace."

"And this must be Alex," Behati commented, smiling at the teenager.

"You both are even more beautiful in person," the second model complimented. Her comment earned smiles from both girls. "And," she added, turning to Steve, "I don't know if Danny told you but you look really good for having a teenage daughter." When Danny had showed them pictures of his daughter earlier, he had also had pictures of Steve's daughter on his phone. She never would have guessed that the sexy man who had shown up at their fashion shoot set that morning with Danny would have been the father of a teenage daughter.

Steve thanked her and then smirked when he saw Danny's visible discomfort at the model's comment. Before he had a chance to say anything else, the third model standing in front of them asked the girls, "You two wanna put on some makeup?" Her question received very excited replies from the girls who immediately started walking away with Behati's friends.

"Hey," Danny said, shouting to the models, "just makeup though, please, no, uh, secrets or nothing."

Steve also chimed in. "Only a little bit of makeup. Got it, Alex?" The look on his daughter's face made him suspect that she wouldn't be obeying him. Ah hell, he would deal with it later if he needed to.

"So, I have to go do the show," Behati told them. "But, Danny, I really want to thank you for everything." She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "And, enjoy this time with your daughter. Little girls really need their daddies. They grow up very fast."

As she walked away, both men, but especially Steve, couldn't have agreed with her more.

* * *

As he leaned against the wall, observing everything going around, his daughter's cell phone vibrated for what had to be the millionth time in his pocket. Half an hour after disappearing over to the makeup vanities with the models, he and Danny had ended their conversation with Kamekona and discovered that Alex had actually heeded his instruction to wear only a little bit of makeup. Yet, she had also apparently decided it was a good time to try on one of the outfits that one of the models would be wearing on the catwalk later. Overall, the dress had not been too risqué for a fifteen-year-old girl but he had not particularly cared for even the small amount of cleavage that it had shown; he had made her immediately change back into the dress that she had come in. After that, while snacking on juice and cookies with Grace, she had become glued to her phone and she had not been happy when he had confiscated it.

Feeling the phone vibrate yet again, he pulled it out of his pocket and unlocked it. He was not a paranoid parent – he didn't feel the need to violate his daughter's privacy unless her behavior warranted it – but her phone had always been something that he could view whenever he wanted to. Alex knew that so he wasn't concerned about her having a meltdown when, after seeing a symbol that signified she had thirty Facebook notifications, he opened up her Facebook account. That was when he learned that she had posted a picture of herself wearing the dress from earlier and, even though he still didn't think the dress was overtly inappropriate, – again, the only issue he had with it was that is showed some cleavage – he was not very happy that she had posted a picture of her wearing it on her social network profile which too many teenage boys had access to. More curious now as to what kind of comments she received on the photo, he scrolled through every single comment.

Maybe it had been the wrong decision because it caused his blood pressure to rise and he felt the urge to track down these rude, disrespectful, and hormonally crazed boys and have a nice long talk with them. Some of the boys had been respectful, commenting that Alex looked pretty or that she had a beautiful smile. Others noted that they were jealous that she was the Fashion Show. Yet, others were extremely disrespectful, with some boys commenting on her cleavage and others expressing that Alex try on another outfit that showed more skin. Not caring that his daughter would be mad at him, he started typing his own comment, angrily emphasizing his disgust at some of the comments. Before he finished typing, a comment from Josh popped up on the screen and a sense of pride and satisfaction actually coursed through Steve's body. Everything that he had been typing, Josh had written the exact same thing. Josh had expressed his disgust at the boys, telling them that it was wrong to comment on Alex's "boobs" (Josh's words, not his) and that they clearly needed to learn to be respectful.

As much as Steve still had his concerns about Alex's relationship with Josh, it did bring a smile to his face to know that the boy stuck up for her, even when it was some of _his _good friends who disrespected her. He debated for a few minutes as he watched Alex's photos get even more comments, most of which were boys starting a verbal war with Josh, and then decided to not post what he was going to. Turning her phone off, he made a mental note to discuss this issue with his daughter, making sure she understood how inappropriate many of the comments were. He would also stress the importance of posting pictures that were respectful of herself. He slid her phone back into his pocket and walked across the room to where his daughter and Grace were talking with Behati. As he got closer, he saw that Alex was using Grace's phone and, when he reached the group, he practically dragged her away by the arm until they were out of earshot of everyone else.

"I wasn't going to say anything until later," he told her, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "But since you decided to go ahead and disobey me by using Grace's phone, I want to talk to you about that picture you posted."

"You took my phone away so you could stalk my Facebook page?"

"No," Steve answered. "I took your phone because you were being disrespectful by using it when people were trying to talk to you." He shifted his weight to the other foot. "Besides, you know the rules when it comes to your phone: anything on it is mine to look at."

"Fine," Alex said, her tone expressing annoyance at him. "So what about the picture?"

"We need to talk about some of the comments you –"

"Oh," Alex said, interrupting him. "You mean the one where Lucas asked me to take a close-up of my boobs? Or the one where James said my picture made him horny?"

"Well, yeah," Steve said, grimacing at the boys' comments. "Those and some others."

"Before you lecture me on the importance of having self-respect, why don't you take another look at the comments?" Alex suggested, glaring at him mildly. "Why don't you look and see what both Josh and I said in response to them?" Expelling a frustrated breath, she added, "I have plenty of self-respect. That's why I was using Grace's phone. I told them that they are all disgusting assholes and that if they don't learn to be respectful then my Dad, who can view everything on my Facebook page, would beat the crap out of them."

"Watch your language," Steve warned as he studied his daughter's face. "You really told them that?"

"Check for yourself if you don't believe me," she stated. She shook her head in disbelief. "Why can't you just trust that I'll stick up for myself when I need to?"

"It's not that, Sweetheart," he said, reaching out a hand and pulling her to him. He hugged her and dropped a kiss to the top of her head. "I just don't like the way they were talking about you." He released his hold on her and added, "It's the Dad in me. I'm sorry."

"I don't like when they say stuff like that either," Alex assured him. "That's why," she continued, breaking into a smile, "if they say it to me in person I might have to punch them in the face or kick them in the –"

He grimaced at the words he did not allow her to finish saying. "Do me a favor, would ya? If you plan on punching a boy in the face can you please let me know first? That way, I will be prepared to receive a phone call from Principal Kamiya."

* * *

**A/N: Any favorite lines from this chapter? Did anything surprising happen? **

**Also, in Episode 8 I was really bothered by the fact that Catherine agreed to keep Doris' secret from Steve. But, after thinking about it, I truly believe that Catherine did it to protect Steve. Even still, I think once Steve finds out it, he will be very hurt by it. So to remedy my conflicting feelings on the matter, for this story, I decided to make Catherine only keep a small part of Doris' secret. Hope that makes sense to everyone.**

**As always, please read and review! Mahalo!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: This chapter is _very_ long. I honestly tried to cut some of it out but my muse begged me to leave it in. As a result, the proposal is getting pushed back a chapter. Sorry! That said, the majority of this chapter contains spoilers for Episode 10 of season 3 (Huaka'I Kula or the Aloha girls camping trip episode) so if you have yet to watch it, I would not recommend reading. Despite the length of this chapter (I'm blaming the length of it on this episode being one of my favorites), I hope you enjoy it!**

**JM Reagan – Thanks. I can't wait for them to become an "official" family because they already are a great family! Thanks for putting on your friend hat, too. Apparently my muse decided to return for this chapter… and NO, it was not the wine! LOL. **

**Zaja – Thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy it.**

**Angel – The proposal will be soon. I promise! Haha, I think we all wish we had boyfriends like Josh ;) Thanks and I hope you like this chapter. **

**Pinkphoenix1985 – Haha, glad you enjoy the trend. I think I did it again by posting this chapter, didn't I? Mary and Alex are so much fun together and I love that Mary is someone Alex can talk to about boys (or Josh being a good kisser) and trust that what she tells her will not end up in her dad's ears! Haha, Steve's rising blood pressure… that poor man, it's only going to get worse ;) **

**Sunny irish – The proposal is soon! :D I can't wait to actually put all of the notes I have jotted down about it into something readable and I hope you all will enjoy it! We feel similarly about Doris so I totally understand. Thanks for reading!**

**Francis2 – Thanks for spending the time catching up on the story. Glad to see you back! **

**Gear's Girl – Thanks! I hope you enjoy the proposal when it finally does happen (next chapter I hope unless my muse decides to be demanding again). Thanks again!**

**Craftygirl11 – Thanks. Alex loves the idea of Catherine becoming her mom "officially" and it will be really healing for Alex to have a solid home life. It will be the first time that she'll have two loving parents and it will do wonders for her confidence and self-esteem. She's really going to thrive, I think. Thanks again for reading!**

**Ircam – Thanks so much! I understand that it's not always easy to review so no worries! I'm glad you are enjoying the story! **

**FicreaderT – Some of your questions about Steve putting off the proposal and whether or not he bought the ring is addressed immediately in this chapter. Hope it explains everything. That said, I really plan on having the proposal in the next chapter. (Of course, my muse may not cooperate…) Thanks as always!**

**Rolodexthoughts – Thank you. Me too! Hope you enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

"You promise you'll come?"

"Yes, Grace," Alex replied, her hand resting on the handle of the passenger's side door of her dad's truck. "I'll go camping with your troop next week." As soon as the Fashion Show was over and they were heading out to the parking lot, Grace had started talking excitedly about her upcoming Aloha Girls camping trip, eventually asking Alex to join them. She knew that her Dad had been asked to go a couple of days ago but she hadn't planned on going because she didn't know she was invited. Once Grace pretty much started to insist that she just _had_ to come, she had agreed after making sure it was okay with her Dad.

"You too, Uncle Steve?"

"Yes, Gracie," he answered, giving into a laugh at the look on Danny's face. A couple of days ago, when Danny had asked him to attend as an additional chaperone, Steve had sensed that Danny was less than enthused by the fact that Grace seemed more excited for him to attend – she was the one who had proposed the idea to her troop – than her own father. "Alex and I will both be there."

"It's going to be so much fun!" Grace exclaimed, jumping with excitement. "Right, Danno?"

"Yeah, Monkey," Danny agreed, ushering his daughter towards his car which was parked three spots away. "See you tomorrow, Steve."

"Night, Danny. Night, Grace."

"Bye, Uncle Danny!"

Ten minutes later, as they were sitting in traffic on the H1 Highway, Alex looked over at her dad, who had been quiet during the entire drive. She figured now would be as good a time as any to ask him about something that had been on her mind for a few days. "Dad?"

"Hmm?" he sounded out as he lifted his eyebrows in question.

"When are you going to propose?"

"What?" The way he jerked his head in her direction told him that her question had caught him off-guard.

"You bought the ring the other day," Alex reminded him. "You bought it almost a week ago actually."

Steve nodded. "Yeah, I did."

"Right," Alex said, giving him a weird look. Why did he seem to be so out of it? What was he thinking about that had him so distracted? "So when are you going to propose?"

"I don't know, Alex."

"Dad –"

"I'm trying to figure all of that stuff out," he interrupted, inching the truck forward just a bit. "I want it to be perfect."

"Just having you ask is what will make it perfect," Alex told him, spotting something in his eyes that told her there was more to it than that. Something else was causing him to be hesitant. "You both love each other and…" she trailed off, understanding what it was she had spotted in his eyes. "You haven't asked her because you've been thinking about when you asked my Mom to marry you." When her dad glanced in her direction, she knew she had hit the nail on the head. "That's it, isn't it?"

"Alex –"

"Catherine's not Mom, Dad," Alex pointed out needlessly. "She's… things are different this time."

"I know that, Alex."

"Then what are you –"

"Yes, things are different," Steve interrupted, stepping on the gas as they rolled past the accident scene that had been the cause of the traffic jam. "But what if… what if she says 'no'?"

"What if you never ask and you miss out on her saying 'yes'?" Catching his eye briefly, she continued, "You deserve to be happy, Dad. It's understandable that you're afraid she'll say no like Mom did but…" She shook her head and shrugged. "Catherine lets me call her 'Mom' and, to me, that means she's pretty committed to the both of us."

"I know that, Sweetheart." It was all he really could muster because the thought of Catherine possibly turning down his proposal was more nerve-wracking than any SEAL op he had ever participated in. He wanted to marry Catherine, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but, lately, the memory of that night he had dropped to one knee in front of Cindy had been coursing through his mind. He had loved her, too, at that time and had honestly believed that she would want to marry him but the way she had turned down his proposal… it had caused a wound that apparently still existed to this day. He loved Catherine and he knew that she loved him too – he wanted to give his daughter the real family that she had always deserved – but he was terrified of getting shot down yet again. "I will ask her and I'm going to want your help planning it."

"Will it be before Christmas?"

"Why Christmas?"

"It would be the first Christmas that I have a real family."

* * *

"I once saw a boar kill a tiger in India," Steve told the group as he stood looking out at all of them. "This is serious business, okay, and I'll tell you why." He lifted his hand, keeping one finger pointed upright. "Boars are deadly, unpredictable beasts. They are everywhere on this island, everywhere around us right now, and they can attack without warning. So you guys have to be ready to protect yourself at all times. Understand?"

Leaning to her left, Alex whispered in Danny's ear. "Bet you're regretting asking my Dad to come now, aren't ya?"

"He's scaring the crap out of them," Danny whispered back. "This is ridiculous."

"Good, we're going to talk about the kill zone now, okay?" Steve continued, ignoring the whispering coming from his daughter and Danny. "This is very important."

"Seriously?" Grace's troop leader, Madeline, said quietly to Alex and Danny. "Kill zone?"

"I'm so very sorry," Danny replied.

"I thought he was coming here to teach them survival skills?"

Alex laughed quietly. "This _is_ his way of teaching survival skills." She shrugged. "You think this is bad, you should've seen him when he taught me how to swim in the ocean." It must have been all of his Navy training because many of his lessons had always involved some sort of fear element.

"If it charges me, that's a three-hundred pound animal and he's crazy, okay?" Steve continued, more animated now. "It's gonna kill me."

"I made a terrible mistake," Danny said to Alex and Madeline. "I see that now and I apologize."

"Lucy, where are you going?" Madeline asked, seeing one of the girls get up and start to run past them.

"Getting my sweater."

"Okay, come right back." Madeline turned her attention back to Steve.

"Right between the shoulder blades," he said, reaching into his thigh holster and pulling out a knife. "This is my weapon of choice."

All of the girls expressed their excitement and Alex rolled her eyes. "Demonstration time," she muttered, knowing her dad well enough to sense what was coming next. Heck, she even remembered when _she _ had been privy to his wild boar lesson.

"Okay, okay," Madeline said, "I've had it. I'm going to go check on Lucy. Make sure he doesn't kill anybody."

"Oh," Danny replied. "I'm pretty sure he won't kill anyone."

"Where's she going?" Steve asked, gesturing towards the troop leader. "We good?"

"Yeah, we're good," Danny answered, standing up. "Let's, uh, take this opportunity to talk about something else. Something useful, like how to find fresh water or, uh, you know how to build a pillow out of flowers or something appropriate for the age group."

"Yeah," Steve said, confused as to what was wrong with him teaching the group of ten and eleven year olds how to kill and gut a pig. After all, he had given Alex that talk when she was nine. "You can definitely do that."

"Okay," Danny returned.

"Or," Steve suggested, throwing the knife so that it lodged in the bark of a nearby tree.

"Ooooo," the girls all expressed in unison.

"Who wants to learn how to do that?" Steve asked, pointing with both hands towards the tree, completely proud that he was inspiring more young girls to learn these important survivor skills.

"I do, I do," every single one of the girls said, raising their hands excitedly in the air.

A grin appeared on Steve's face as he looked at Danny. "You know," Danny pointed out, "there is something pathologically wrong with you, you know that?"

"No," Steve argued, his tone serious. "I'm going to teach these girls how to kill and gut a pig tonight, Danny. That's a survival skill."

"That's actually a horror film," Danny argued back.

"I learned how to do it when I was nine, Uncle Danny," Alex said, stepping past him to stand next to her dad.

"See –" Steve started to say, wrapping his arm proudly around his daughter. He was interrupted when Madeline came back, concern on her face.

"Has anyone seen Lucy?"

"She just went to get her sweater," Danny answered her.

"No, she's not there," her voice bordered on panicked. "Lucy!"

"She couldn't have gone far," Steve said, his voice calm. "Danny, why don't you check the camp bathroom? I'll check the trail. Alex, stay here with the girls." The three adults spread out in various directions as Alex, feigning that there was nothing to be overly concerned about, asked Grace to tell the rest of the girls a scary ghost story. As Grace started talking, Alex looked around and a strange feeling overtook her. For some reason, she had a feeling that something bad was going to happen. _Maybe it's just because of this stupid valley we're in. I _hate_ Ka'a'awa Valley._ Chalking it up to having to spend the night in this jungle for the first time since her kidnapping, she smiled at the girls, reassuring them that there was nothing to be worried about. Of course, when Danny and Madeline both reappeared alone a few minutes later, the bad feeling in her gut grew. Even when Madeline gathered the girls into a small circle and reassured them that everything was okay, the feeling didn't go away. Then, that bad feeling turned into nearly a full-blown panic attack when her Dad showed up a few minutes later, appearing from behind the line of tents and walking towards them alone.

"What's up?" Danny said, walking towards Steve. "Couldn't find her?"

"Get the kids back," Steve instructed.

"What?"

"Get 'em back," Steve repeated. "Danny, get 'em back."

"Back up girls," Danny said as Madeline shuffled the girls further away from the campfire. "What's going on?" he asked Steve. "What are you doing?" Just then he spotted Lucy walking towards them. With her was a man holding a gun.

"Don't even think about it," the man warned, pointing his gun in Danny's direction.

"Alright, Ron," Steve said, holding his hands out to his sides and slowly turning. "What's the plan? They are little girls. They are no threat to you. What do you want?"

"I want all of your cell phones and weapons. Throw them on the ground now. Now!"

"Okay," Madeline said, turning to the girls. "Do as the man says. C'mon." She started collecting all of the cell phones from the girls.

"You too," Ron instructed, pointing the gun at Danny.

Danny removed his cell phone from his pocket and tossed it on the ground. "No weapon," he told Ron, lifting his shirt slightly so that Ron could see he was telling the truth. "No weapon, okay?"

"Here's everything," Madeline told him, tossing all of the phones near Ron's feet. "They don't have weapons; they're children."

"Ron," Danny said, tearing the man's attention away from the girls. "My car is parked at the end of the trail. Let the girl go, take my keys, get the hell out of here. Alright?"

"Don't be an idiot, Ron," Steve said, "Go while you got a chance – take the car."

"Hey, listen to me," Danny said, "I know you don't want to do this, just let the little girl go. Please." Lucy started crying loudly and Steve shook his head.

"I'm getting tired of this guy, Danny," Steve said, pointing over his shoulder at Ron.

"Ron's going to do the right thing," Danny offered. "Right? Everything's fine. Something went wrong but we're going to make it right. Just tell us what you want."

"You," Ron said, his weapon now pointed at Steve.

"What?"

"Mr. Navy SEAL Survivalist," Ron said, thankful for the little bit of information the little girl had given him a few minutes earlier. "You're coming with me."

"No!"

Steve visibly flinched at the sound of his daughter's plea. He glanced back at Alex briefly and then replied, "Okay," he said with a nod, taking a few steps towards Ron. "Where are we going?"

"We're going back in the jungle," Ron told him. "I lost something in there and you're going to help me find it."

"Good," Steve said, "Let's go. You and me." He stuck his hand out and beckoned towards Lucy. "Come here."

"Yeah right," Ron said with anger in his tone. "The minute you get me alone, you'll snap my spine. No, the kid is coming with us."

"No!" Lucy exclaimed. "I don't want to!"

"Take me," Alex said, stepping in front of the younger girls. "I'm good at finding stuff. Take –"

"No, Ron," Danny interrupted, seeing Steve visibly tense at Alex volunteering herself. "The girl stays here. You don't need any of the girls to go with you."

"Come on," Steve tried again, beckoning Lucy to come to him. "Lucy, come here."

"Stay back!" Ron shouted, before he shot the gun, striking Danny in the arm. Chaos and screams erupted as Danny fell to the ground.

"Danno!" Grace shouted, breaking free of the group and running towards her father.

"Danny!" Steve shouted, hurrying over to his fallen friend and kneeling beside him. "Gracie, get back," he said, gently pushing her away from Danny.

As Steve examined Danny's injury, Grace ran back to the group, straight into Alex's arms. Alex cradled Grace's head, hugging the girl tightly as she willed her own body to fight off the impending panic attack that was threatening to begin. A few minutes later, the crazy man with the gun told them all to get inside the small storage shed where all of the camping supplies were stored when they were not being used. Alex released Grace, letting her embrace Danny and then hung back as all of the other girls followed their troop leader inside.

"Didn't you hear me?" Ron said angrily, waving his gun in Alex's direction. "I said get inside."

Steve glanced to his right to see his hesitant daughter just standing there. Willing himself to remain calm, he stuck his hand out towards her and said, "C'mon, Alex, do as he said: get inside." He saw the fear in her eyes and took cautious steps towards her. Reaching her, he placed a hand on her shoulder and ushered her towards the door of the supply building. Lowering his voice, he said, "Sweetheart, it's going to be okay. I need you to get inside and help take care of the girls."

"Let me go in Lucy's place," she said, as he gently pushed her inside of the building.

"Be strong for me and help with the girls," he told her again.

"Get inside Grace," Danny said, directing his daughter up the steps and inside the building. She immediately returned to throwing her arms around Alex.

"Danny," Steve said, reaching a hand out to touch his arm. "Let me see." He spent a few moments looking at Danny's arm and then, with a brief glance into Danny's eyes, he turned and said, "Let me treat this."

Ron, who still held onto Lucy with one arm, said, "No. Lock it up."

"Five minutes," Steve requested.

"Lock it up!" Ron returned, his voice louder than before.

"I'll be fine," Danny said, smacking Steve lightly on the arm. "We'll manage."

"Just do your best to get out," Steve said, his eyes roaming over everyone inside the building. "Get some help."

"Keep her safe, please," Danny returned.

"I'll take care of her like she was Alex or Grace," Steve promised, patting Danny on the back as Danny stepped into the building. "I'll see you guys soon, okay?" he said, reaching in and grabbing the handle of the door. "Alex, Sweetheart, I love you." He expelled a breath and pulled the door closed. As he slid the padlock through the latch on the door, he just hoped that he would be able to keep his promise.

* * *

Even though it had not taken very long for Madeline to located a couple of lanterns after her Dad had locked them inside the tin box otherwise known as the Aloha Girls campsite storage shed, it had been long enough for Alex to have a flashback to the last dark building in this valley that she had been locked inside. Her hands had started to get clammy and it started to get hard to breathe right when the small space had been illuminated by the lanterns. Alex blinked, finding herself coming back to the present, when the troop leader turned and asked, "Now, who wants to learn how to remove a bullet from a gunshot wound?"

No one replied and Steve's words echoed through Alex's head. Choking back her panic at being trapped in this damn jungle yet again, Alex said, "C'mon girls, it will be cool to learn and you can probably use it to help earn your first aid badge." That was when all of the girls, one-by-one, raised their hands to express their interest in removing a bullet from a gunshot wound.

"Should just keep it in for now," Danny suggested, not entirely trusting that Madeline actually knew how to remove a bullet.

"It's either her way or the unsanitary, no-other-option, dirty fingers method," Alex suggested, giving Danny the smirk that reminded him way too much of Steve.

"Um," Danny said uneasily, glancing at Madeline.

She smiled. "Alright, let's see what we have here." A few minutes later, she was pulling the bullet out of Danny's arm with a pair of pliers. Much to the fascination of the young girls, she dropped the bullet into a small frying pan and then turned back to Danny. She took the bandage that Alex handed her and said, "Now, remember to apply pressure until the bleeding stops." Once Danny's wound was covered, she instructed, "Girls, go find some sleeping bags and blankets. Let's try to get some shut eye, okay?"

"Okay," Danny said as Madeline rolled his t-shirt sleeve back down to cover the bandage. "That was really good. I didn't know the Aloha Girls were trained to triage."

"Well, my day job is as an ER nurse," she informed him. "You did great."

"Thank you," Danny said, wincing slightly at the pain in his arm. "I'm very glad I could provide a teachable moment for everybody here." He stood up. "We need to assess the situation."

"Assess the situation? Well, for starters, we are locked in the supply shed."

"I can see that," Danny said, glancing around. He noticed that Alex had taken refuge in the corner of the shed, sitting on the floor and hugging her knees as the rest of the girls milled about arranging sleeping bags on the floor. He wondered if the teenager was remembering the last time she had been in this jungle at night. He couldn't worry about that at the moment; right now, his priority was to getting all of them out of this shed. "How about a key?"

"I have a key," Madeline replied. "But it's padlocked from the outside."

"Well I can't break that door down."

"Why not?"

"Because it opens inward, that's why."

"Well," she said, standing up as well. "The supply picture is not much better. Other than lanterns and cooking gear and sleeping bags, we don't have much." She lowered her voice. "No water and no food."

"No food, no water. Okay, let's see about that."He turned to face the girls who were getting settled on the floor. "Ladies, let's gather around." He proceeded to tell them about the one time he went camping with the boy scouts – he got kicked out not long after that – and how a friend of his had smuggled in an entire rack of ribs. "So, I know one of you brought food with you."

"It's against the rules," one of the girls spoke up.

"That's right, Caitlyn," Madeline said, proud that the girl had obeyed the rules for this camping trip. "It is."

"Forget the rules," Danny said. "What happened to coming prepared?" He stood up. "Anybody got any ideas?"

"Yeah," Alex said, finally joining the group. "How about we try to find a way out of here and I can show the girls how to kill and gut a pig like my Dad was going to show them?"

"Great idea, Alex," Danny told her, ignoring the pig part of her statement. "But I'm falling short of ideas here so if anybody has any ideas, please throw them out." He took two steps and heard a creaking noise under his foot. "Wait a minute," he said, looking down. "You got a crowbar or something like a crowbar?"

"Uh, a tent stake," Madeline offered, handing the item to him.

Danny took the tent stake and squatted down. Using the stake like a crowbar, he was able to pop out the two nails that held the loose floorboard in place. Then, finally, he was able to remove the entire two by four, revealing nothing but dirt underneath. "Okay, good, no foundation. All we gotta do is get up a couple of these boards and dig our way out. Hand me another one of these." He turned towards the girls. "Grace, Alex, come here." He then directed the girls to work in small groups to dig up as many of the floorboards as they could.

* * *

"Go to Iolani Palace and don't stop until you get there, okay?" Danny instructed as the girls climbed into the Aloha Girls van. The sun had already risen by the time they had been able to pry the last floorboard loose. After convincing Alex that a much smaller person than she was needed to dig them out, he had sent Grace into the small crawlspace and, within a matter of minutes, Grace had unlocked the padlock and freed them all. Afterwards, they had headed immediately up the trail to where the van and his car were parked. The plan was for Madeline to drive the girls to HQ while he would head off on his own to attempt to track down Steve.

He climbed into his car and turned the key in the ignition. The engine rolled over several times but never fired up completely. Apparently the van was experiencing the same thing because Madeline climbed out of it and told him that the engine was dead. "Yeah, mine, too," he told her, getting back out of the car. He walked around to the front of his car and popped the hood. "Look at this. The guy cut the spark plug wires."

"Can we start them another way?"

"No, the spark plugs are what deliver the electrical current from the ignition system to the combustion chamber." Both adults turned to look at Alex who had approached them from behind and stepped up next to Danny. She bent down and got a better look at the engine. "I think that Ron guy is smarter than we all thought… we're screwed." She glanced at Danny. "What?" she asked, taking in the look of surprise on his face. "I've been helping my Dad work on Grandpa's car."

"Alright," Madeline said, turning around. "Ladies, come here. This is what we're going to do, alright? Lily and Sarah: firewood. Zoe, Caitlyn: water source. The rest of you: campsite cleanup. Let's go." The girls obeyed, wandering off to complete their assigned tasks. Madeline then noticed something on the side of Danny's car. "That's blood," she pointed out to him.

He stepped around Alex and took a look at the spot near his front right bumper. "Alright," he said, slapping his thigh. "That's about the right height for Ron's wound. Let me get an evidence kit." He moved to the trunk of his car and popped it open as Grace and one of her friends came running up.

"Danno, look," Grace said, holding out her hands in front of her. "We found a cell phone."

"That's good, Monkey," he said, looking at the multiple pieces of a phone she held in her hand. "But I have an idea those aren't going to work, though."

"But, like, one of the digital signal processors, it's not broken," Grace's friend, Riley, stated.

"Digital what?"

"Signal processor, Uncle Danny," Alex said, placing an encouraging hand on Riley's shoulder. "It's like the heart of the phone."

"Yeah," Riley agreed, beginning a more technical explanation. "The conversion chips translate the outgoing signal from analog to digital and vice versa."

Danny obviously had not understood a single word that the girl had said. "Try again." Alex laughed at his confusion which earned her a silencing glare.

"If I take the battery from this one," Riley explained, holding up one phone. "And the motherboard from this one," she added, holding up another one. "I might be able to get the phone to work."

"Ah," Danny said, turning around and looking at Madeline. "She's talking to me like I'm an idiot." He turned back to the girls. "Listen, I don't know what you're talking about at all but if you can make that work…" he turned back around to face Madeline again. "Does she get a patch from doing this thing?"

"All of them."

"Okay, good," he told the girl. "Go ahead, go ahead." Once the girls ran off, he moved back towards the front of his car with the evidence kit in hand. Alex trailed behind him, watching his every step as he first swiped a Q-tip over the streak of blood and then sprayed a chemical solution which turned the cotton end of the Q-tip pink. He put the cap back on the Q-tip and sealed it in an evidence bag.

"Uncle Danny?"

"What?" he asked, glancing at her as he removed the gloves he had donned to collect the evidence.

"I think we should go find my Dad and Lucy."

"That's what I plan on doing as soon as –"

"Not you," Alex interrupted. "_Us_. Me and you. And we should leave now because staying here, pretending to do busy work, isn't helping anyone find them."

"No," Danny told her firmly. "We will find your Dad and Lucy but you will not have any part of that. You will stay behind with everyone else."

"That's not fair," Alex argued. "He's my Dad."

"I know that, Alex," Danny told her. "And I understand that you're worried about him. I get that, honestly I do, but you will let me and the other adults locate them." Sensing an impending argument, he shrugged. "Besides, we don't even know what direction they went in."

"I can find them," she said adamantly.

Danny shook his head. This girl was just as stubborn as her father, if not more. "The chances of you being able to track them down in this jungle, in this terrain, are slim to none. I will not take that chance with you."

"I've done it before!"

"Alex –"

"It's true and you know it!" Alex argued, her voice rising in volume slightly. "I survived by myself in this _hell_ that is Ka'a'awa Valley and then I was able to retrace my own steps to find that stupid cabin! I can find them!"

"I get that you are scared," Danny told her, mentally reminding himself to remain patient with her. "I get that being here brings back a lot of memories BUT, under no circumstances am I allowing you to venture off into this jungle. I am responsible for your well-being right now and –"

"Danno! Mr. Williams!" Grace and her friend's voices drifted over to them. "We fixed it!"

He shouted that he would be right there and then returned his attention to the teenager. "I'm not arguing with you anymore. I am responsible for you and you will do as I say. Got it?" With a final glance at her, he shuffled away towards the group of girls huddled around the nearby picnic table.

* * *

"Let me tell you something," Danny said as a chill ran up his back from the mere thought of a spider being on him. "I hate this jungle. I hate jungles in general. Every jungle in the world I hate. And no disrespect but I am taking Grace out of the Aloha Girls. I am placing her in ice hockey. It's cold, there are no bugs, and no deranged kidnappers." _Speaking of deranged kidnappers, I probably should have checked on Alex before I headed into this hellhole. _He didn't even know where she had wandered off to or which Conservation Officer's jeep she had gotten into. Alex had gotten on his nerves practically all morning but he had understood why she had acted the way she did. Poor kid had been held captive in this jungle and then been forced to survive all alone in it for nearly eighteen hours; he didn't blame her for having been moody and scared, especially after watching her father be taken away at gunpoint.

"You know," Madeline pointed out. "You're the reason she does this."

"I'm the reason?" Danny asked, pointing a finger at himself. "This wasn't my idea. I told you I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts."

"She said it makes her brave, just like you."

"Oh, brave like me," he repeated. "Maybe I'm not as brave as she thinks I am."

"She's probably never seen you do that little spider dance."

"Yeah," Danny agreed. "I promised her I would bring Lucy back and she thinks there's nothing I can't do. I can do anything, right? One of these days she's going to realize that I am not Superman."

"Probably," Madeline acknowledged. "But that's not going to happen today." She pointed to the ground. "See? These tracks go straight up this trail but in a half mile it ends at a bridge that is out."

Danny looked at her and then his eyes flitted past her, locking onto something in the trees. "Look." He headed up the small incline towards a tree which had a parachute snagged in its branches. Inspecting the parachute, he discovered blood on it and immediately picked up the SAT phone he had been provided from a Conversation Officer and dialed HQ. A few minutes later, as he and Madeline were following the trail, Kono was informing him over the phone that a plane had been reported as crashing in the valley the day prior. Ron, it turned out, had been a passenger on the plane, which was transporting millions of dollars in diamonds. With an idea formulating about what had really gone on yesterday, Danny hung up the phone. Barely a minute later, a gunshot rang out, echoing throughout the jungle.

"Dad!"

Danny just about dropped the SAT phone at the sound of Alex's terrified voice. It was coming from somewhere ahead of them. "Alex?" When she didn't answer, he said her name again, "Alexandra McGarrett, get your ass out here." Ahead of them, about fifteen feet from where they were standing, the teenager stepped out from behind a set of bushes that had been her place of concealment. Like a deer in headlights, she just stood there, staring at him. By the look on her face, he knew she knew that she was in trouble. He stepped towards her, knowing that he, well actually Steve and Lucy, didn't have time for him to lecture her. "I told you to go with the girls. What about that didn't you understand?"

Alex shrugged and gestured towards her watch. "I logged the GPS coordinates of the campsite. If I didn't find Dad in a couple of hours I was gonna head back to the campsite."

"Your dad is going to have a field day with this, you know that," Danny told her. "He trusted me to –"

"Can you save yelling at me for later?" Alex interrupted him. "I need to go see if my Dad just got shot."

"Stay behind us," Danny told her, gently pulling on her arm so she stepped behind him. This was a real bind she had just put him in but he couldn't just leave her alone in the jungle. "And if I tell you to stay put, you better do it. Do you understand me?"

Alex swallowed hard, understanding the tone of his voice. "Yes, Sir."

* * *

"Stay here with Madeline," Danny instructed Alex. They had just come across a man named Jeff, lying at the bottom of a small ravine, and who had been shot by Ron about an hour earlier. The three of them had helped Ron get back up onto the trail and, after discovering that Steve had mentioned where the trio had been heading, Danny decided to head off after them. Madeline would be staying back to help tend to Jeff's injury and Danny would be damned if Alex would be tagging along with him. "Don't you even dare venture off, got it?"

"Yes," Alex answered, annoyance laced in her tone. "Got it, Uncle Danny."

"North," Danny confirmed with Madeline, referring to her earlier explanation of where the trail Steve had mentioned was located. He stood up, grabbing his backpack as he did and headed in the direction that Madeline had pointed him in. He dialed Chin using the SAT phone and told him that he was headed towards Api Falls Trail. Chin had informed him that he was already at the trail head after HPD had discovered an abandoned, stolen vehicle there which belonged to a man names Hines whose penchant for violence, according to Chin, made Ron look like "amateur hour". Not much later, more gunshots rang out and, approaching the scene with his gun drawn, he ran into Chin who informed him that he had not been the one to shoot the kidnapper Ron and that there was no sign of Steve, Lucy, or Hines.

* * *

"Is he coming?"

"Yes, Lucy," Steve answered, kneeling on one leg in front of her and holding her hand. "He's coming. But hey, we got a really good lead on him, okay?" Giving her an encouraging smile, he continued, "Lucy, listen to me, I need you to hide here, okay? I'm going to lead the man away from here until it is safe and then I will come back and get you."

A panicked and tearful Lucy replied, "I want to stay with you. I want to stay with you." Giving into a sob, she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him.

He placed a hand on her back, taking a deep breath. He understood her fear, he understood that she didn't want to be left alone, but he had to keep her safe. As much as he hated how scared she would be when he left her alone, he had do it; it's exactly what he would do if it was his own daughter with him. He comforted her for a few moments. "Lucy," he said, "Come here, look at me." She stepped out of his embrace and looked at him. He squeezed her hands and encouraged her the same way he would encourage Alex. "I need you to be really brave for me. You're doing so good. I promise you, I'm going to come back for you. I'm going to get you, okay?"He tilted his head a little to the left, gesturing towards some tall and dense bushes. "I need you to hide here for a little bit. I promise you I'm going to come back. Alright?"

"Okay."

"Good girl," he said, touching her cheek affectionately. "Come on." He led her to a dense section of jungle, making sure she was well concealed within the plants. "I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay." With her positive response, he headed out, hoping he would lead the man far enough away from Lucy. He just hoped that he could keep his promise to Lucy and get her home safe to her family while he returned home safe to his.

* * *

Finally calmed down enough after running five miles and swimming the equivalent of four miles in the ocean, Steve dried off with a towel on the lanai and then headed inside the house with Anchor. After Danny had shot Hines, thereby saving Steve's life, he had been extremely pissed off when he had learned that his daughter had disobeyed Danny earlier that day. Venturing off into the jungle to try to find him and Lucy had been extremely dangerous and _very_ stupid. It may just have been the dumbest thing his kid had ever done and, as soon as they had gotten home earlier that evening, he had wasted no time in making sure his daughter knew exactly how he felt about her actions. She had just stood there, not saying a single word, while he had yelled at her. As soon as he had stopped yelling, she had run up the stairs and into the bathroom where the water in the shower had immediately been turned on.

The water had stayed on during the entire time he and Catherine had prepared dinner and, when the chicken parmesan had only five minutes left to cook in the oven, Catherine had headed upstairs to check on Alex. When they both came downstairs fifteen minutes later, Alex's hands had been wrinkled from being in the water too long, her hair had been dripping wet, and her eyes had been red; Steve had assumed that she had been crying. Their dinner had been consumed in complete silence; Alex hadn't even looked at him. When Alex had finished the small amount of food she had put on her plate, Catherine had told her she was excused from completing her nightly chore and, when Steve had disputed her, telling Alex that she was still responsible for washing the dishes, Catherine had pretty much gotten pissed off at him, tossing the sponge at him and telling him to do the damn dishes himself. He had gotten angry again and, ignoring the dishes in the sink, he had headed outside for exercise.

Now, back inside, he took a cursory glance into the kitchen and decided to not worry about the dishes right now. He headed up the stairs and opened the door to his bedroom. He was shocked to discover that Alex and Catherine were both in his bed with Alex nestled up fast asleep with her head in Catherine's lap. The look he got from Catherine told him she was still upset with him, although he didn't really understand what he had done to piss her off. Needing to change his clothes, he stepped into the room and over to his dresser. He grabbed a pair of shorts out of the drawer and then turned to look at Catherine. "Guess this means I won't be sleeping in my own bed tonight."

"You're lucky I'm not making you sleep outside," she replied, keeping her voice hushed so as not to wake the sleeping teenager.

"Are we seriously doing this right now?" Steve asked her, confusion and displeasure on his face. He couldn't even remember the last time they had a serious argument but he sensed that they were just on the tipping point for a new one. "Are we seriously about to have a fight?"

Catherine glanced down at Alex and pointed towards the hallway. She lifted Alex's head and stood up, setting the teen's head back down on a pillow. She followed Steve out of the room, leaving Anchor lying on the floor near the bed, and closed the door behind them. "Do you really want to do this right now?"

"Sounds like you do," Steve replied, dropping his wet swim trunks right there in the hall in front of her before pulling on the clean pair of shorts.

Catherine shook her head. "I love you, Steve, but sometimes I just don't understand what goes on in that head of yours."

Steve also shook his head as he flung his wet shorts into the bathroom using only his foot. "What exactly are you so pissed off about? That my daughter cried in the shower?" He shook his head again. "I hate to break it to you, Cath, but every time she cries she gets your attention. Stop letting her use it to her advantage."

"Are you kidding me, Steve?" Catherine said, pushing past him and heading down the stairs. "That has to be one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard you say." Reaching the bottom, she turned and faced him. "You know very well that Alex doesn't just cry without a reason." She pointed up the stairs. "That girl does _not_ cry just to get my attention nor does she use it to gain an advantage over you."

"So her crying isn't what made you pissed off at me?" He put his hands on his hips. "What the hell is this about then, Cath?" His voice was louder, angrier.

Catherine expelled a breath, glancing upstairs again. She really hoped Alex would not wake up to the sound of them yelling at each other. "You had every right to be disappointed in her for the way she disobeyed Danny today. You had every right to be upset with her. Hell, you're her father, Steve; you had every right to yell at her, too."

"Well, thank you for reconfirming that I have a say in how to discipline my daughter."

"It's not about that, Steve," Catherine said, ignoring the tone in his voice. "Like I said, yell at her whenever you think it's appropriate but, sometimes, I wish you would take a moment to think about things from her point of view before you go off unhinged." When he just looked at her without saying anything, she continued, her voice louder than it was before. "She was terrified, Steve! Did you ever think to even ask her how she was doing with what had happened? Or did you just assume that she came out of that camping trip completely unscathed?"

"Cath –"

"When I went up to check on her earlier," she said, cutting him off. "It wasn't just tears that I found." She shook her head, blinking away her own tears that filled her eyes. "She was in the middle of a panic attack and she had thrown up at least twice." When he glanced upstairs at the bedroom, she continued, "She watched Danny get shot and then she saw you get taken away at gunpoint."

"She's seen someone shot before, Catherine," he pointed out, not really understanding her point.

"It was the first time that someone she cares about got shot in front of her," Catherine reminded him. _Hopefully the last._ "It was the first time she actually saw _your_ life being threatened _and_ it was the first time since her kidnapping that she had to spend the night in Ka'a'awa Valley."

"It's not my fault Danny got shot."

"I was scared!" Steve and Catherine both jerked their necks upward at the sound of Alex's voice. "I _hate_ Ka'a'awa Valley and you knew that I was nervous when we were driving there yesterday. You told me everything would be okay. You told me that you wouldn't leave me."

"I didn't have a choice, Alex," Steve replied, looking up at her. "I had to go with Ron, you know that."

"You could have let me go with you," Alex argued, looking down at him. "I wouldn't have been so scared if I was with you. I wouldn't have kept having flashbacks."

"You were safe with Danny," he reminded her. "And, if you didn't want to be having flashbacks, you shouldn't have gone back into the jungle by yourself."

"I can't believe you just said that," Catherine stated, staring at him in disbelief. "Alex, Honey, please go back to bed." Turning her attention back to Steve, she said, "Outside! Now!" She reached out and started pushing him towards the front door.

"I had the flashbacks when we were locked in the supply shed," Alex said, her tone sounding very distant. "That was the only time I had them." Steve and Catherine stopped and looked up at her; they both could see her hands trembling. "And I'm sorry you think it's my fault that I can't control when I have them." With that, she turned around and walked down the hallway into her bedroom, slamming the door closed behind her.

Steve started to take a step upstairs but was halted when Catherine tightly grasped his arm. "I think you've said enough for today, don't you?"

"I don't understand you right now," he said, angrily brushing off her arm. "You get angry at me when I yell at her and then you get angry when I try to make amends. Make up your mind."

"I was never mad at you for yelling at her," Catherine corrected him. "I was mad at you for not bothering to make sure she was okay. You and Lucy aren't the only ones who were affected by what happened." She glanced up at Alex's bedroom door. "She knows she should have obeyed Danny. She knows that she was wrong and she understands why you were upset with her. She sees things from your perspective. When are you going to start seeing things from hers?"

"You're taking her side on this?" Steve asked. "Unbelievable," he added, shaking his head.

"We're a family, Steve," Catherine returned, moving past him to head up the stairs. She turned around and looked down at him. "There are no sides." She expelled another frustrated breath. "Right now, I need to check on our daughter and I think it's best that you spend the night on the couch."

* * *

**A/N: Favorite quotes from this chapter… I have several. And, don't worry, just because they are fighting does not mean the proposal won't happen. If anything, it's going to make Steve realize that Catherine is 110% committed to both him and Alex. **

**As always, please read and review. Another 14 reviews will result in a total of 200. Just sayin'! Mahalo for reading!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: The long awaited chapter is finally here (although you gotta read through some other stuff first before you get there). Hope you all enjoy! ;)Warning: it does contain spoilers to episode 11. **

**BloodWolf347 – Thank you so much! I always love discovering that I have new readers. Hope you continue to enjoy the story!**

**Beccywhyte – Thanks! Glad you found this story and are enjoying it!**

**Narwhayley – Thank you! Hope you like this chapter ;)**

**HBSpud – Thank you!**

**Craftygirl11 – I was definitely on the fence with the whole "fight" as well. Glad you are still enjoying this story after all this time!**

**Fiveofan – Thank you. You will discover how he pops this question soon! ;) **

**Karymcgarret – Thanks! That was one of my favorite quotes, too. There are more awesome Cath quotes in this chapter, too.**

**AnonGuest - It sucks that you guys are so far behind with episodes but at least you get to watch them at some point. **** Glad you are still enjoying this story. Thanks!**

**Angel – Cath certainly knows how to express what she feels in her heart. There are a few more of those moments/quotes in this chapter. Biology aside, she really is Alex's mom. Thanks for reading!**

**Jean25 – Thanks for reading! Haha, you will see that Steve's night on the couch was miserable! **

**Maggiemcgarrett – It really is good for Alex that she has Catherine in her life. They are such an awesome family, aren't they? Thanks for reading!**

**Pinkphoenix1985 – Thanks. I think you'll enjoy this chapter. I know we talked about part of this before… in the months since that conversation happened, did this lose any steam? **

**Guest – Thanks! Me too!**

**Sunny irish – I absolutely loved Danny in that last chapter, too! Poor guy – I would imagine that trying to control the mini McGarrett is just as difficult as trying to control McGarrett! He's definitely good at attempting to control her, though! McRoll makes up… ;) **

**Gear's Girl – Thanks. That was one of my favorite parts, too! I love how Cath has become the mom that Alex never really had! **

**Ircam – As you will see, Steve and Cath do make up and this chapter ends on a very positive note! **** Thanks for reading!**

**FicreaderT – Yes, the dad in Steve was scared. They all make up ;) Hope you enjoy this chapter (I think you will ;) ! ) Thanks for reading!**

**Rolodexthoughts – Thanks! I love how Catherine fits so well into their family! Hope you enjoy this chapter! **

* * *

His night on the couch had been exhausting to say the least. The only times he had ever really managed to sleep on it was on those nights when he and Catherine had worn themselves out on it first. Needless to say, that had not happened last night so, instead of getting some rest, the whole time that he had lain on the couch his mind had been on the argument he had had with Catherine and some of the things that she had said. He absolutely loved that she was an advocate for Alex – he had been thrilled when Catherine had referred to Alex as _their_ daughter – not _his_ but _theirs_ – but he had not enjoyed the guilt trip she had laid on him. He absolutely understood that his daughter had been scared – Ka'a'awa Valley would always be a source of terror for her – but had it ever occurred to either of them that he had been equally scared? He had been absolutely terrified, not just for Alex but for everyone involved, when Ron had threatened all of them. After Danny had shot Hines, his fear had ended only to return ten-fold when he learned that Alex had disobeyed Danny and gone off into the jungle all by her lonesome. The second he had heard that his mind had instantly transported back to those days when Alex had been missing. His fear had turned into anger the moment he had laid eyes on her – it had just irritated him so much that she had willingly and knowingly put herself in danger – and it had been that anger which had spurred his yelling at her.

After nearly four hours of ruminating on both the camping trip and his fight with Catherine, he had finally gotten up from the couch at three-thirty and headed for another run. Five miles later, he returned home, determined to try to make things right again with both Alex and Catherine. After a quick shower, he had headed out to the garage, making several trips to the backyard with all of the necessary supplies. Twenty minutes ago, he had finished setting everything up in the backyard. He had headed upstairs, finding both Catherine and Alex in a deep sleep in his bed. A little annoyed that they had both managed to get some sleep when he hadn't been able to, he had headed back downstairs to prepare breakfast, making as much noise as was humanly possible.

"Oh, Babe," Catherine said, stepping into the kitchen with Alex right behind her. "It's you. We thought it was Danny again."

"'Bout time you two got up," Steve greeted, taking in their disheveled appearance. Okay, so maybe their night had been just as rough as his. "Here," he said, handing his daughter a large covered bowl full of the fruit salad he had just made. "Take this out back." He grabbed a glass jug containing freshly squeezed orange juice off of the counter and handed that to her as well. "This, too, please."

"You really wanna eat outside when it's raining?" Alex said, staring at him as if he had three heads.

"A little rain won't hurt you," he told her, leaning back against the counter and crossing his arms in front of him.

"Dad –"

"Don't argue with your father, Alex," Catherine interrupted, taking another step into the kitchen. She pointed out of the kitchen. "Just go do what he told you to do."

"C'mon, Anchor," Alex muttered unenthusiastically as she turned and shuffled out of the kitchen as the dog followed her out.

After Alex left the kitchen, Catherine turned and faced Steve, who was just standing there, looking utterly exhausted, and staring at her. "Hi," she said tentatively.

"Hi," he returned, wondering if it was just he that felt the tension in the air. "How'd you sleep?"

"Not great," she answered honestly. She and Alex had stayed up talking long after Steve had turned off the TV in the living room. The last time she remembered looking at the clock it had been two-thirty. It was just after five-thirty now; no wonder she was so damn tired. "But apparently it was still better than you did." Simply put, Steve looked absolutely ragged.

Steve chuckled at that. "I didn't get even a minute of sleep. I –"

"Why the hell is there a tent out here?" They could hear Alex's comments through the window which was opened part way. Catherine stepped up to the counter next to Steve and looked out at the window. Not only was there a large tent set up but most, if not all, of Steve's Navy gear was also out there on the lanai. "Ouch!" Alex exclaimed as something metallic could be heard hitting the pavement on the lanai. "Son of a –"

"Language!" Their warning had been in-sync with one another and they turned to look at each other, each one sporting an amused smile on their face. They stared at each other for several long moments and then, without knowing who had initiated it, they were kissing. One of Steve's hands roamed south, coming to rest underneath her shirt on the warm skin of her lower back, while his other hand rested on her hip pulling her flush up against him. Catherine's arms were around him, the fingers of one tangled in the soft curls at the nape of his neck; she moaned when his tongue danced with hers.

"Eww, gross."

Steve and Catherine nearly jumped from Alex's interruption. Breathing hard, they pulled their faces apart while Steve made sure to keep Catherine's body pressed against his – as if Alex seeing them making out wasn't bad enough, if she saw the partial erection he was now sporting she would be traumatized for life. Steve cleared his throat. "Alex, um, what –"

"I guess this makes the third place that I'm allowed to pay you back for," she said with a smirk, leaning against the door frame.

"Payback?" Catherine asked.

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked her.

"I've seen you two making out in here, on the couch, and on the porch that first day I met Catherine," Alex replied. "So now I get to pay you two back by making out in the same places." Her smirk grew even bigger when her dad grimaced at her comment.

"Just who exactly do you plan on making out with?" Steve asked through his clenched teeth.

Alex shrugged. "Pick any boy." She grinned at him. "Payback is payback; it doesn't matter who it's with."

Steve glared at her as he clenched his jaw. "You will _never_ make out with a boy. Not in my house and not anywhere! Do you understand me?"

_Hate to break it to ya, Dad, but I already have._ _And just you wait until Josh and I start dating. _Alex knew that if she vocalized that thought then her Dad would probably never let her out of the house again. So, instead, she laughed. "Are ever going to join me for breakfast?"

"Yes," Steve told her. "Now go back outside. We'll be there in a few minutes." After Alex left, he muttered, "Guess this means neither one of you is mad at me anymore."

"She was never mad at you for yelling at her. She was never really mad at you at all actually," Catherine informed him. She shrugged. "A little upset that you never asked how she was doing but she was never mad at you." She nodded out the window. "So, if whatever you have planned is your way of getting her un-mad at you –"

"It's not," he denied. "Not exactly." He released her as it was now safe enough to do so. He stuck his hand out and brushed a strand of hair off of her face. "I know that she was scared and I know why you got mad at me last night." He stroked her cheek with his thumb for a few seconds and then dropped his hand. "You have no idea how happy it makes me that she has you in her life and the fact that you referred to her as _our_ daughter…there are no words." It had done more than just make his heart sing – knowing that Catherine viewed Alex as her daughter, too, had helped him gain the confidence he would need to propose to her. He crossed his arms again. "I love you both but neither one of you…" he trailed off, changing what he wanted to say. "You're the one that said my daughter and I have a hard time communicating." He turned around and looked out the window, watching as a soaking wet Anchor ran circles around the tent. "That's what this is about: the three of us communicating and re-connecting." _Making sure you both understand that I'm not immune to fear, especially when the people I love are in danger._

"You do realize that, due to her lack of sleep, she is going to end up being grouchy in roughly half an hour," Catherine commented.

"Yep," he acknowledged, giving into a yawn. "That's why the first two things on the agenda is breakfast and family nap time." He already had the sleeping bags and pillows all set up inside the tent. They literally would be spending all day camping in the backyard. He backed away from the sink and stepped over to the fridge, taking the carton of eggs out of it. Setting them on the counter, he opened the cabinet and pulled out three plates; he set those down next to the eggs. He put his hand on the silverware drawer but, before he could pull it open, Catherine placed her hand over his and then her lips were on his again.

"I love you."

* * *

"The SEAL in me wasn't overly concerned," he told them, popping a piece of pineapple in his mouth. "But the dad in me…" He reached over and brushed hair off of his prone daughter's forehead. "The dad in me was scared."

"I was scared, too," Alex stated, looking up at him from the pillow where she was propping up her head with her arm.

"I know you were," he acknowledged. "But I had to do what was best for you – I had to keep you safe – and that's why I left you with Danny."

Alex expelled a frustrated breath. "I'm not five anymore, Dad. You don't always know what's best for me."

"Alex –" Catherine was cut off when Steve placed a hand on her arm.

"That's where you are wrong, Alexandra," Steve said, his eyes focused like a laser on his daughter. "You are still a child. I have lived a lot longer than you and I –"

"That's not fair! You –"

"You do not have to like it," he interrupted. "But _this_ time… this time I _did_ know what was best for you and one day you will understand that."

Alex glared at him. "You don't have the right to dictate what's best for me without me having any say in the matter!"

"Alex," Steve warned.

She narrowed her eyes at him, shooting him an angry look, before lying down completely and putting her iPod ear buds in her ears. Rolling over to face away from him, she cuddled up next to Anchor. Steve just stared at the back of her head, willing himself to remain calm. The fact that she had to constantly argue with him had gotten old months ago and, some days, it took all of his willpower to not tape her mouth shut. With a sigh, he settled down onto his back inside of his sleeping bag, resting his hands underneath his head and listening to the rain falling outside of the tent.

"You okay?" Catherine asked a few minutes later, finally settling down on her side next to him after she covered the bowl of fruit salad and moved it to the corner of the tent.

"She challenges me on _everything_," he replied, turning his head so he could look at her. "It's so damn frustrating sometimes." He shook his head. "I just don't understand why she refuses to accept that everything I do is because I believe it is what's best for her."

"It's not that she doesn't accept that, Steve," Catherine told him. "She knows you believe that."

"Then why does she constantly challenge me? Why do we argue over so much?"

Catherine laughed. "Babe, the reason you two butt heads all the time is because you both are exactly alike." At his confused expression, she added, "When are you going to look at your daughter and realize that she _is_ you?"

"If that's what arguing with me is like," he replied, giving into a sheepish smile, "then I'm sorry. I'm sorry we're both a pain in your ass."

She shook her head. "You're not." She smiled at him. "Well, I mean, you both can get on my nerves sometimes but I still love both of you very much." She leaned down and kissed him. "And I wouldn't trade either of you even if you got on my nerves on a daily basis."

Alex, whose iPod battery had died almost immediately after turning it on, rolled over, surprising Steve and Catherine, who had thought she was listening to music. With tears in her eyes, Alex asked, "You really mean that?"

Even though she did not know what Alex was specifically referring to, everything she had just said had been the truth so Catherine nodded. "Yes."

"You don't hate me for being just like him?"

"Of course not, Honey," Catherine told her, glancing briefly at Steve. She wasn't entirely sure why Alex had asked that question of her. "I love you and your Dad just the way you are."

Alex's eyes drifted to her dad's. "You too?"

"Of course, Sweetheart," he answered, studying her eyes for more insight into what thoughts were going through her mind at the moment. "You're my kid – I love you exactly the way you are."

"What did I do to earn both of your love?" Alex asked, her eyes flitting between both of them before landing on Steve. "How can you love me so much when Mom hated me for being just like you?"

"Love isn't earned, Honey," Catherine told her, reaching her arm across Steve to run a hand through Alex's hair. "It is something that is freely given. Nothing you do can make me love you more and nothing you do will make me love you less. I love you because I love you and it will always be that way no matter what."

A tear fell down the teenager's cheek as she unsuccessfully tried to stifle a sob. "I don't deserve your love."

"Alex? Sweetheart?" Steve said, glancing briefly at Catherine before wrapping his arm around his daughter. "Where's this coming from?"

"I'm not hers," Alex stated needlessly, as if they all needed a reminder that Catherine was not her biological mother.

"I may not have given birth to you," Catherine said, moving her hand to wipe a tear from Alex's cheek. "But you are mine in every way that matters. You are so very loved and cherished by me, Honey. Nothing will ever change that; I promise."

* * *

"What was that all about yesterday?" Steve asked, looking at his daughter as he stopped at a traffic light. Yesterday, after Catherine had stated that Alex was still hers even though she had not given birth to her, Alex had started to cry, finally falling asleep with her face buried in his t-shirt. All three of them had napped for three hours and it had still been raining when they had woken up. With Alex in a far less grouchy mood than earlier, he had managed to convince her to have some fun with him in the mud pit that was the backyard. They had spent the entire afternoon playing with his Navy gear – he had helped her get decked out in his full body armor; he had let her practice throwing knives at a target; he also set up a mini-obstacle course that had her crawling under pretend barbed-wire, fireman carrying a "buddy" to safety, climbing over things; how to dress a wound using a makeshift bandage; and he even showed her how to apply camouflage like he had when he was on covert missions. Catherine had snapped a picture of the two of them, dressed in full battle rattle and faces covered in camouflage, and he was certain it would be joining the rest of the photos hanging on the living room wall. Afterwards, to prevent mud from being tracked into the house, they had removed the body armor and jumped fully-clothed into the ocean – Alex, whose ankle was doing much better, had decided to head for a little swim – and then they had trekked back up to the house to shower before dinner. Alex had then spent the rest of the night finishing up homework and this was the first time he had gotten to ask her about her statements from the day prior. "Saying you don't deserve Catherine's love?"

Alex loved Catherine and she still wanted Catherine to adopt her. But sometimes she just felt that, if her own mother couldn't love her, then she shouldn't be loved by other women either. "Catherine stuck up for me the other day, Dad. She takes care of me; she supports me. Mom never did any of that." She shrugged. "Sometimes I think that if mom was incapable of doing those things for me then I'm not worthy of any other woman doing them for me."

"You are worthy and deserving of all the love in the world," he replied, resting a hand over hers. "Just because your Mom had a very hard time proving that to you, don't ever think you don't deserve to be loved."

"I can't help it sometimes," she told him. "It's just like being afraid that you're going to wake up one morning and decide you don't want me anymore. I can't help thinking that way sometimes."

"I understand that it's hard," he acknowledged, turning his attention back to the road as he continued on his way towards Alex's school. "But you just need to try to remember what we both tell you every morning and night – we love you."

Alex nodded in understanding. "Do you think I'll ever get past all the hurt that Mom caused me?"

Steve nodded. "Yes, you will. It will take some time, of course, but you will move beyond it." He glanced at her and smiled. This was the perfect time to ask for her help. "And I think making Catherine a permanent part of our family will help you do that. She will help you heal."

"So you're not scared of asking her anymore?"

"Do I worry that she might say 'no'?" he replied. "Yes, I do, but I think every man worries about that on some level."

"But you decided to finally ask her?"

Steve nodded. "I did and I'm going to want your help with it, if that's okay with you."

Alex grinned. "What do you need me to do?"

* * *

She looked down at the Styrofoam food container in her lap and then over at Steve, who was scarfing down his breakfast as if he had not eaten in a year. He looked at her, his mouth full, and smiled at her; she gave him a fake smile in return. She looked back down at her lap, pursing her lips out, as Steve continued to ravage his meal._ This certainly was not where I had pictured he would be bringing me for breakfast on Christmas Eve._

"Something on your mind?" Steve asked her, his words not entirely intelligible as his mouth was full of food.

"Okay," Catherine said, looking at him. "Remember when you said we would go somewhere special before my leave ends?"

"Yeah," he answered, putting another bite of food into his mouth.

"Well," she continued, gesturing to the food with her plastic fork. "Was this the special place you had in mind?"

"Yeah," he answered, giving her a smile. "Why?"

"No reason," she returned, although her mind was wondering what the hell was wrong with him. "It's great," she assured him, watching as he licked his fingers clean. "I just wanted to make sure."

"Well, obviously," he noted, "you had some other places in mind."

"Alright, well, if you want me to be honest," she said, looking at him again. "I didn't think that we would be eating breakfast out of a box in a parking lot."

Steve glanced briefly in the rearview mirror, forcing himself to bite back a pleased grin. "I think you're missing the big picture here," he told her.

"Am I?" Catherine asked.

"Yeah," Steve said, nodding. "I mean, we're alone, right?"

"Um," Catherine managed, looking at him like he was crazy before glancing into the backseat.

"And eating in the car is the whole retro drive-in experience with a Polynesian twist."

"Mmm," Catherine started. "Okay, look, I love Rainbow. All I'm saying is that, sometimes, a table and waiters, too. Maybe even a romantic setting." _Like the place you took me to in Maui._

"How is this not romantic?" Steve asked her. "We have great food." He reached forward and turned on the radio. "We got romantic music."

"First off," Catherine said with a smile as she turned off the radio. "Eighties hair band is not romantic."

"Yeah, Dad," Alex said, giggling from the backseat. "And, usually, romantic meals don't include bringing along your kid either. Especially on Christmas Eve."

Steve turned and glanced at his daughter, subtly winking at her. This was all a part of the plan they had concocted two weeks ago and Alex was playing along perfectly.

"Um, Steve," Catherine said, her gaze focused on the driver's side window. "We're being carjacked."

Steve turned to look out his window and found a gun pointed straight at him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Catherine reach her arm into the backseat, so as to shield Alex from the lunatic outside.

"Yo," the man said, "Keys and wallet, hand 'em over."

"Okay," Steve said, holding a finger up in the air. "Just hang on a sec." He turned back to Catherine. "Is a picnic romantic?" He was bound and determined to keep this act up in order to surprise the hell out of her when he got down on one knee and popped the question.

"Yeah," Catherine answered distractedly. Her attention was more focused on the gun still pointed at Steve.

"Hey, Haole."

Steve held up his hand, telling the man to wait. "There aren't any waiters at a picnic. How is this different than a picnic?"

"Okay, Steve," Catherine said, her gaze still on the weapon. "Crazy guy with gun."

"Give me the money," the guy demanded. "Or your lady and kid are going to watch you bleed."

"Uh oh, dude," Alex muttered from the backseat. "You're gonna pay for that threat."

"You sure you wanna do this?" Steve asked, gazing at the guy. The carjacker cocked the gun. "Alright."

Sure enough, Alex's warning to the man with the gun had been spot on as, ten minutes later, she and Catherine watched from the truck as her dad dragged the attempted carjacker inside the front doors of HPD. In only a span of seconds, her dad had managed to disarm the guy _and_ rip out his nose ring. It had been pretty entertaining to watch; the guy certainly had picked the wrong cop to mess with. Alex bet he would never make _that_ mistake again.

* * *

It had absolutely shocked Catherine and Alex when Steve had walked out of HPD with a boy in tow. The boy, Ethan, had been sitting in HPD, handcuffed to a desk after throwing a rock through one of HPD's windows. Steve had talked to him for a few minutes, discovering that Ethan's dad was missing and, until now, no one seemed to believe that he was in danger. Steve had instantly been drawn to the kid and had requested that Ethan be released into his custody. While they had been driving on the H1, they had learned that Ethan's mother had died when he was three – the two teens had briefly commiserated on the loss of their mother's – and that the only family he had was his father. With his father now missing, Ethan was alone and that had made Steve even more determined to locate his dad.

They had driven to Ka'a'awa Valley – the nervous tapping of Alex's foot had grown steadier with each mile that brought them closer – to the store run by Ethan's dad. Steve had turned off the car, instructing all of them to stay there, and then had headed to the door of the store. Catherine had checked on Alex, wishing she could do something to take away the girl's anxiety, and then turned her head back to the window just as Steve had taken his gun out of his holster. When Steve had kicked in the door, Ethan had ignored Catherine's instruction to stay put and, instead, hopped out of the truck, running into the store after Steve. When they had gotten inside the store, Steve had been on the phone, quickly hanging up to go after Ethan, who had demanded to know if the puddle of blood on the floor was his dad's.

Not having an answer for the boy, Steve had sent him and Catherine back outside while they waited for HPD to arrive. Then, at Ethan's insistence on helping with the investigation, Steve had recruited him as a new unofficial member of the Five-0 taskforce, telling the teenager that he needed a full debrief on his father. Then Steve had told Ethan that he would be staying with them until his dad was located. Catherine had volunteered to take Ethan to his house to pack a bag while Alex, who had remained inside the truck until that moment, had insisted on staying with her dad until he or one of his team members could take her home. Understanding his daughter's need to feel safe, Steve had allowed her to stay with him – outside of the shop – while Danny and Chin participated in the investigation inside. When it came time to leave the scene, Alex had climbed in the backseat of Danny's car while Steve hopped in the driver's seat. He dropped Alex off at the house – she needed to get things ready for later – before heading back to Ka'a'awa Valley to check on the man whose fingerprint matched the one found on the shotgun in the shop.

While Steve had proceeded with his team's investigation, Catherine had stayed with Ethan, first discovering a suitcase full of at least twenty-thousand dollars. Then, after taking Ethan to Headquarters where Steve had insisted that she ask Ethan to help identify the murder victim, Catherine had been forced to search for Ethan after he had snuck out of the office while she had gone to get him a juice out of the vending machine. After she, Steve, and Danny had managed to track him down by using the phone Steve had given him, they had talked some sense into the kid. After getting some information from Ethan, she had taken him back to his house while Steve and Danny continued the investigation. Barely an hour after she and Ethan had gotten back to his house, Ethan's father had shown up, accompanied by a man wielding a gun. Catherine had successfully disarmed the guy just before Steve and his team had shown up. After they had bid goodbye to Ethan, she and Steve had gone their separate ways – she had headed to Kamekona's shrimp stand to meet up with Steve's team while Steve needed to go do something and would meet them later.

Sitting at Kamekona's now, she was laughing with Chin, Kono, Danny, and Max as Kamekona dropped a big red Santa bag on the table.

"Ho, ho, ho," Kamekona greeted. "Mele Kalikimaka. Presents for everybody." He started passing out wrapped parcels to everyone. "Where's the Big Kahuna and Little? I want to give them their presents."

"Oh," Catherine said, peeling the tape off of her gift. "He said he was going to be a few minutes late."

"One free helicopter tour," Chin said, reading the printed words on his gift.

"One free tour plus a guest," Kono said, not sure what to make of it. "Thanks, Kamekona."

"I will respectfully decline," Danny said, "and give mine to Chin. Because I'm pretty sure with you driving that thing, it will end up in somebody's front lawn."

"I think I'll ask Sabrina to accompany me on the inaugural flight," Max commented.

"Oh, yeah?" Danny replied. "Mile high club, buddy."

As Chin leaned over to explain to Max what exactly the mile high club entailed, Kamekona informed them that they would all get to redeem their gifts once he completed his pilots training and received his license. Then, as Kono was questioning his decision to purchase a helicopter before having a license, Kamekona said, "Whoa, there he is. Double oh seven in the house."

Sure enough, when they all turned to look in the direction of the parking lot, Steve came strutting towards them, decked out in a tux – black bow tie and all – looking like Mr. James Bond himself.

He approached the picnic table where they were sitting, stopping behind Catherine.

"What – what are you doing?" Catherine asked him, practically drooling at how sexy he looked in that tux.

He reached his hand out and, as soon as she took it, he lifted her into his arms. "I'm taking you to dinner." Then he kissed her and started walking towards his truck.

* * *

"I thought you said you were taking me to dinner?" Catherine asked, giving him a doubtful expression when he pulled up to his house.

"Trust me," he said, getting out of the truck and moving around to open her door for her. He picked her up again, carrying her towards the house and then surprising her when he bypassed the front door and took them around the side of the house.

"What in the world?" Catherine muttered, her eyes big in surprise as she took in the scene in his backyard. She looked at him and he just grinned.

Lit tiki torches lined the backyard. The patio table was covered in white linen and two lit candles stood in the center while numerous red rose petals also served as table decoration. The table had already been set and she could see that he had gone through the trouble of pulling out his mother's fine china from wherever it had been hidden for the last twenty years. On the ground around the lanai were numerous other lit candles. Alex's iPod dock was plugged into the outside wall jack and was playing soft, relaxing romantic music.

Approaching the table, he set her back down on her own two feet and pulled out her chair for her. As he took his own seat, he rang the little bell that had been placed near his place setting. Almost immediately, Alex, who was dressed in the nicest dress that she owned, stepped onto the lanai from the house, with a bottle of wine in one hand and a white, linen napkin draped over the other. "Buona sera, Signore e Signora." Stopping at the table, she held the bottle of wine over Catherine's wine glass and then asked, "Un bicchiere di vino?"

"Si," Catherine replied, smiling at the girl but still wondering what this whole thing was all about.

Alex poured wine into Catherine's wine glass and then moved to her dad's, asking him the same question. When he replied in the affirmative, she poured his glass and then set the wine bottle into the ice bucket that was resting on one of the free chairs. Switching to English, she looked at Catherine and said, "On tonight's menu we have salad, lasagna, and your favorite: tiramisu." She looked at her dad. "Ready to start with the salad?"

He nodded. "Yes. Thank you, Sweetheart." As Alex moved back into the house, he lifted his wine glass, gesturing for Catherine to lift hers. "To us," he toasted, clinking her glass with his.

"To us," she echoed, taking a sip of the wine as she studied his expression. "What are you doing?"

He smiled. "You said you wanted a table and waiters and a romantic setting."

She nodded. "You're right, I did but this…" He raised an eyebrow in question. "This surpasses my expectations."

"Good," he said, smiling at her again. _Just wait until later._

* * *

An hour later, Steve rang the bell – he rang it whenever they needed something from their waitress – once more. Their dinner had been magnificent; the service impeccable. She and Steve had chatted throughout the duration of their meal but, suddenly, as their pieces of tiramisu had gotten smaller and smaller, Steve had become quieter. Anxious really. Catherine had asked him if he was okay and he had assured her that he was, although his expression told her he was a little distracted.

"All done?" Alex asked, stepping back outside, with one hand behind her back. By now, she had slipped out of her dress shoes and was walking barefoot.

"Yes," Steve said, pushing his chair back slightly. Looking at his daughter, he asked, "Ready?"

She nodded. "Are you?"

He nodded his reply and then started to talk. "Cath, Babe, I love you. _We_ love you. Ever since that day we first met in Coronado, I have been captivated by you. By your beauty and grace; your intelligence and athleticism; your smile; your laughter… by your amazing ability to kick ass when its' needed." He laughed nervously. "And from the moment you met my daughter, she, too, was captivated by you. You've been amazing to her and I can never thank you enough for that. You make our family complete."

He glanced up at his daughter, who nodded at him and then, looking at Catherine, got down on one knee. Holding the folded up paper she had been hiding behind her back, she said, "I love you, Mom, and I can't thank you enough for everything you have done for me. You've given me so much support and love…it's just incredible to me that you love me the way good moms love their kids." She unfolded the piece of paper. "Will you make me your official daughter by adopting me?"

Catherine's jaw dropped, tears filling her eyes at the teenager's request. She glanced at Steve, only to find him down on one knee on the other side of the table. "I love you, Babe." He popped open a ring box, revealing the most gorgeous ring she had ever seen. "Will you marry me and continue making me the happiest man alive?"

With happy tears brimming over her eyelids, she nodded. "Yes." Grinning as he pulled the ring out of the box, she repeated, "Yes, I will marry you." He slipped the ring on her finger and she wrapped her arms around him, kissing him fervently. Remembering the teenager, she pulled away from him. "And yes, honey, I will adopt you." Kissing the teenager on the head, she added, "I would _love_ to adopt you."

* * *

**A/N: So…what did ya think?**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: You all are simply amazing! 18 reviews for that last chapter. You have no idea how happy I am to know that you are enjoying this story!**

**I usually respond to each of your reviews but this time I don't have the time to (please forgive me) but thanks to: Seventeenforeverxoxo, FicreaderT, Angel, BloodWolf347, Pat Toby, Lawsy89, khrystyne lani, Guest, Beccywhyte, sunny irish, francis2, Gear's Girl, Craftygirl11, pinkphoenix1985, AnonGuest, JM Reagan, fiveofan, ncis42, and Narwhayley. I appreciate each of your reviews/comments. **

**I think you will all be surprised by Alex in this chapter. She really made my heart happy in this chapter. :D **

* * *

"Don't even think about it," Steve said, rolling up his shirt sleeves as he stood in the doorway leading to the lanai. His daughter was standing there, near the table, pouring the last little bit of wine from the second bottle of wine he and Catherine had opened earlier into a glass.

"What?" Alex asked, giving him a smile that was anything but innocent.

"You know what," he replied, stepping forward and taking the bottle out of her hands. "You are fifteen; you will not be sampling any wine."

"You know, in some European countries," Alex pointed out. "Kids younger than me get to have wine or schnapps with their meal."

"This isn't Europe," he reminded her, picking up the wine glass. "And even if it was, my rules would still take precedence over any cultural practice." Nudging her with his arm, he said, "C'mon, I'll help you with the dishes." They headed back inside where Steve discovered that Alex had already filled the kitchen sink with water and dish soap. He set the wine bottle and glass on the counter, turning to check the dishes on the center island. "Where are the leftovers?"

"In the fridge," Alex replied, picking up the sponge. "Where they belong."

"Watch your tone," he told her. "I was just making sure you didn't throw them away." Alex turned and faced the sink, rolling her eyes as she did, before starting to wash the dishes. Steve sauntered over to the sink next to his daughter. "You did eat, right?" Over the last month or so, he and Catherine had both noticed that Alex had been gradually eating less and less and, while she didn't look she had lost any weight, it had given them cause for concern.

"Yes," Alex replied, annoyance in her tone.

"Just making sure, Alex," he said, warning her about her tone with a look. "Want me to wash?"

"I thought this was one of _my_ chores?" she commented. "Besides, aren't you and Mom supposed to be celebrating or whatever it is people do after they get engaged?"

"She's on the phone," Steve replied, rinsing off the plates that Alex had just washed. Reaching for the dish towel, he added with a grin, "I think she'll be on it all night telling everyone she knows."

"Have _you_ told anyone?" Alex asked, setting a soapy salad bowl in the second sink. "Did you call Sam or Freddie?" Steve dropped the bowl onto the counter and it was Alex who reached out and caught it before it fell to the floor. When she looked at her father, all she could see was a haunted look in his eyes. "Dad?"

"Freddie…" he replied, his tone full of anguish. At the mere mention of his old friend's name, his mind had transported him back to that last special assignment they had been working in South Korea. He had gone through SEAL training with Freddie and then had been assigned to the same SEAL team. All SEAL's became more than just teammates – they were brothers – but he had always shared a special bond with Freddie. So much so that, when she had been younger and visiting him in Coronado, Alex would refer to Freddie as "Uncle Freddie", often demanding that he accompany them on their trips to the beach or the zoo. His and Freddie's last operation together had ended up being fatal for Freddie; it was a painful memory that haunted Steve to this day. "Freddie's gone, Sweetheart. He…" he cleared his throat. "He didn't survive our last mission in South Korea."

Alex felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Memories of those times shared with Freddie in Coronado flooded her mind – beach days; making funny faces at the monkeys at the Zoo; being pushed on the swings; watching her dad and him have push-up and pull-up contests on the playground – and she choked back a sob. She looked up at her Dad, seeing the pain in his eyes, and knew she needed to push her own sadness to the side. She threw her arms around him. "I'm so sorry, Daddy. I'm sorry you had to lose your best friend."

"Thank you, Sweetheart," he told her, taking the opportunity to wipe his hand across his moist eyes. He placed a kiss on the top of her head. "I miss him like crazy but he died a hero." He released her, taking the bowl from her hand and drying it. "But to answer your question: no, I have not told Sam."

Alex turned back to the sink, picking up another bowl and washing it. "Have you told Doris?"

He shook his head. "She should be home soon; she'll find out then."

"Okay." They continued to work for the next few minutes; Alex washing, Steve drying and putting the dishes away. When Alex grabbed the last dish off the island and carried it to the sink, she noted, "You realize that come tomorrow, once Uncle Danny sees Mom's ring, that everyone on this island is going to know."

Steve chuckled. "Yeah. Guess I'll have to make sure to call at least a few people before he shows up tomorrow otherwise it will probably be broadcasted over loud speaker knowing him." They both started laughing at that.

"I will never get tired of hearing the sound of your laughter," Catherine said, stepping into the kitchen with her cell phone in one hand and her engagement ring sparkling on the other. She set her phone on the island and stepped up behind the father and daughter. She placed a soft kiss on Steve's lips and then dropped a kiss to the side of Alex's head.

"You're off the phone sooner than I thought you would be," Steve observed, stepping around her to put more dishes away.

"Well, I only got as far as talking to my parents," she told him, placing a hand on his lower back. "I must say that was a rather surprising chat."

"Really?" Alex asked, turning around to face her. "Why?" She looked at her dad and grinned teasingly. "They don't approve of my crazy Dad?"

Catherine laughed. "No." Steve stepped back around her to dry the last of the dishes. "Apparently, they had been expecting my call." She placed a hand over Steve's, causing him to turn towards her. "You called my Dad?"

Steve grinned. "I wanted to do the right thing and ask his permission to marry you." Before he had even purchased the ring, he had called Catherine's dad, having an honest talk about his intentions to propose. Then, once he and Alex had planned the proposal, he had once again called her parents, telling them that tonight would be the night he would get down on one knee in front of her.

"What if he had said no?"

Steve shrugged. "I would've done whatever I needed to in order to convince him that I was worthy of marrying you."

"Well, thank you," she said, placing a kiss on his lips again. It certainly had surprised her to learn that he had gone the old-fashioned route of asking her dad for her hand in marriage, especially because the one and only time Steve and her Dad had met it had not gone very well. "I think you just gained some points in your favor." She then turned and looked at the teenager. "And you… my Mom said you and she had a nice long talk the other day."

Alex nodded but didn't say anything.

"You did?" Steve asked, surprise written on his face. Alex had not talked to Cath's parents either of the times he had. "When was this?"

"The other day," Alex shrugged, letting the water drain out of the sink and then starting to wipe off the counters. "Like Catherine said."

"How did you get their number?"

"Out of your phone," she mumbled, knowing that was something that could get her grounded since she was not supposed to know the code to unlock his phone.

"I'm just curious, honey," Catherine said, running her fingers through Alex's long, straight hair. "What did you two talk about?" Her mom had gone on and on about how much she had enjoyed talking to Steve's daughter and had expressed how excited she was to one day meet her in person.

"I wanted to make sure they were okay with you adopting me before I asked you." She finished wiping off the counter and tossed the sponge in the sink. Turning around to face Catherine, she shrugged. "You adopting me will make them my grandparents. I wanted to make sure they were okay with that."

"Well, I can tell you that they are absolutely _thrilled_ about everything," Catherine assured her.

"I know," Alex said, giving into a laugh. "Your Mom said she's so excited to _finally_ have a grandchild." She smiled. "And, we've already made some plans for when they come for the wedding." She had been a little nervous when she had dialed Mrs. Rollins cell phone but that nervousness had quickly disappeared. It had just been so easy and natural to talk to her; it had made her a little sad that she couldn't have the same relationship with Doris.

"Breakfast this morning was part of your plan, wasn't it?" Catherine asked, amazed at Alex's already blossoming relationship with her mom. She turned her attention to the love of her life. "You wanted me to think –"

"We didn't want you to suspect anything," Steve told her, leaning down and kissing her. "And, yes, we've had this whole day planned for awhile now." He wrapped his arms around both of them, dropping a kiss to Alex's head and then one on Catherine's lips.

"Did I really just hear the word 'wedding'?" Doris asked, stepping into the kitchen.

Steve released both of his girls and nodded. "Yes, you did." He placed a hand on Catherine's lower back. "Mom," he said, looking at her. "I asked Catherine to marry me."

Doris mouth dropped open in surprise. "You –"

"And I said yes," Catherine told her, holding out her hand to show off her ring.

"Wow," Doris said with a huge smile on her face. She stepped forward to embrace the couple. "You did great, Steven," she said, taking a step back and getting a closer look at the ring. "Welcome to the family, Catherine." She embraced Catherine again. Stepping back again, she kissed her son on the cheek. Then, patting him lovingly on the cheek, she said, "I never thought I would see this day." She hugged him again. "Have you called your sister to let her know?"

At the mention of her aunt, Alex instantly panicked, looking at the clock on the stove. _Crap! Mary!_ She had gotten so caught up in the hubbub of the marriage proposal that she had forgotten all about Mary's surprise trip to Honolulu for Christmas. "Um, Dad," she said, grabbing his hand and pulling on it. "We need to go. All of us. Now or we'll be late."

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked her.

"I have a surprise for all of you," she said, not offering anymore than that. "C'mon, we need to go."

* * *

"Alexandra?" Doris said, stepping into the kitchen and wrapping her bathrobe tighter around her body. It had only been a couple of hours ago that they had all wound down enough from the excitement of the engagement and Mary's surprise homecoming, finally deciding to go to bed. "It's three-thirty in the morning." She took a cursory glance around the room; every counter was covered with either a food item or a container of some sort. "What are you doing?"

Her hands in a bowl, Alex looked over her shoulder at her grandmother. "Dad said you had plans to go pick up our Christmas dinner from some restaurant." She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm used to it being a home cooked meal."

Doris stepped further into the kitchen, feeling, for the first time, absolutely no tension in the air between her and her granddaughter. She stepped up next to the teenager and looked at the bowl the teenager had her hands in. "Dough?"

Alex nodded, her hands kneading the mixture in the bowl. "First up are the pie shells." She nodded to the other mixing bowl on her right. "Then, while those are baking, I'll make the dough for the homemade cinnamon rolls we're having for breakfast."

"And the rest of this stuff?" Doris asked, a little surprised that her granddaughter had woken up early to bake pies. "You're going to make the entire meal?"

Alex nodded. "The menu is on the island," she said, scraping the dough off of her fingers. A beeping noise signaled that the oven was now heated to the proper temperature. "Can you bring me those two bowls that are over there?"

Doris, who had been eyeing the handwritten menu, picked up the two bowls. Turning around, she saw that Alex was rolling out the dough onto a sheet of wax paper. She stood there for a few minutes, just watching her granddaughter work diligently to prepare the pie shells in their respective baking dishes. When Alex was ready, she stepped over next to her and set the bowls down on the counter. She took the lid off of the first one, holding it on its side as Alex used a spatula to scrape the pumpkin filling into the shell. "Your dad always loved pumpkin pie."

"Grandpa did, too," Alex said, using the spatula to even out the filling before moving the dish to the side.

Doris took the lid off of the second bowl and was surprised to find it full of _her_ favorite pie filling. "You're making a pecan pie?"

"Dad once mentioned that it was your favorite," Alex replied with a nonchalant shrug as she poured the filling into the second pie shell.

Doris had to blink away a tear when she heard that. She and her granddaughter had never been on good terms – they hadn't even been on semi-amiable terms – so it really struck a chord with her to discover that Alex had thought about her, too, when planning her menu for the day. It may have been just a pie but it gave her a little glimmer of hope that things would not always be so confrontational with Alex.

"Wait," Alex said, stopping in mid-motion. "You're not allergic to soy are you?" Due to her ever worsening intolerance to lactose – even taking Lactaid pills before consuming dairy had, lately, been doing little to prevent side-effects caused by her allergy – she had used soy milk in each of her pie recipes. It wouldn't be a huge deal if Doris was allergic to soy – there was plenty of regular milk in the fridge – but it would delay the baking process if she had to make another pecan pie filling.

Doris shook her head. "No. Why?"

"I'm lactose intolerant," Alex told her, breathing a sigh of relief as she resumed filling the second pie shell. "So, everything I make today that requires milk will be made with either almond or soy milk."

"You're lactose intolerant," Doris repeated, taking the now empty bowl from the teenager and setting it in the sink. "But you've eaten some things I've made that have –"

"Normally," Alex replied, opening the oven door. "I can take a Lactaid pill beforehand and I'm fine." She put the first pie in the oven, setting it on the left side of the rack. "But over the last few weeks, the Lactaid hasn't helped any." She grabbed the second pie and placed it on the oven rack next to the first one. She closed the oven door, seeing Doris holding the timer in her hand. "Five minutes at four-hundred then drop the temp to three-fifty and bake for another forty." Doris set the timer to five minutes and nodded her head in understanding. "Thanks!"

"You're welcome, Alexandra," Doris said, stepping back over to the island and picking up the menu. "It's quite a menu you have here." She looked at her granddaughter. "Would you like some help? I mean, if you'd rather I not help, I understand but –"

"You can help if you want," Alex interrupted, leaning back against the counter. "Dad and I are going to the early church service with my friend Josh and his family – it's at seven-thirty – so if we can get most of the preparation done before then, all we'll have to do when we get back is cook everything." She stepped over to the sink and turned the water on. Lathering her hands up with soap, she continued, "I don't know if you or Mary or Mom are going with us to church…"

"First I've heard of it," Doris replied. She waited for Alex to finish washing her hands before asking, "Would you like us to go with you?"

Alex shrugged as she dried her hands on a dish towel. "Doesn't matter; it's up to you guys."

Doris smiled at her. "How about we wait and see how tired I am after all of this food prep?" Even though it had been twenty years since she had last cooked a large meal for her family, she doubted it would wear her out. Rather, she wanted to test the waters – this was the most cordial ten minutes she had ever had with her granddaughter – before invading on Alex's Christmas morning plans with Steve.

"Okay," Alex said, returning the smile. She hung the towel back over the bar on the front of the oven and then walked over to the far counter, opening the bag of sweet potatoes. "I'm gonna start peeling these. Do you wanna start making the cinnamon rolls? I hung the recipe for them up on the fridge." She had actually hung up all of the recipes on the fridge so they would be easily accessible when needed. In addition to the cinnamon rolls, the handwritten recipes also included one for cinnamon apple crisp; green bean casserole; cranberry sauce; sweet potato soufflé; and a bourbon, molasses and pecan glaze for the ham. And that didn't even cover the other dishes she had planned to make that did not require a recipe!

"I'd love to," Doris said, truly amazed at the transformation that had come over the fifteen-year-old. Maybe miracles really did happen on Christmas.

"Doris?"

"Yes?" Even _that_ was a step up from being called Mrs. McGarrett.

"Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, Alexandra."

* * *

Steve, who had woken up to the enticing smell of cinnamon, had been utterly shocked that morning when, at five-thirty, he found his daughter and mother talking as they worked side-by-side in the kitchen. With both of them completely immersed in their task at hand, neither of them had sensed his appearance in the doorway of the kitchen; he had just stood there, leaning against the doorframe, watching their interaction and smiling. It had been a long awaited moment and, even though he knew better than to think that all was well in their relationship, it pleased him immensely to have visible proof that could actually get along with each other. Catherine had then joined him, wrapping her arms around him from behind and dropping a kiss to his shoulder through his t-shirt before resting her chin on his shoulder. They had stood there together for a few more minutes, just watching the oldest and youngest of the McGarrett family line, until the timer on the stove went off which caused Doris and Alex to both turn around and spot them.

"Smells great in here," Catherine said, smiling at them both.

"Sure does," Steve agreed, placing a kiss on Catherine's wrist before moving out of her embrace. He stepped over to the stove as Doris took the cinnamon rolls out of the oven and set them on the stove top. Practically drooling at the sight of them, he asked his daughter, "Your recipe?"

She nodded. "Your favorite one."

"Thanks, Sweetheart!" He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and dropped a kiss to the top of her head.

Alex laughed at his excitement as she reached around him for the small container of frosting that she and Doris had made earlier. She handed him the container and a knife. "Here ya go, Dad. I know you like to frost 'em."

With his eye on the biggest cinnamon roll and mentally claiming it as his, he took the container from her. "I have the best kid in the world, don't I?" he asked to no one in particular.

"Yes, Babe," Catherine said, stepping up behind Alex and wrapping her arms around her. "Alex is the best kid in the world." She kissed Alex's head. "Merry Christmas, Honey." Looking at Doris, she added, "Merry Christmas, Doris."

"Merry Christmas, Mom," Alex returned.

"Merry Christmas, Catherine," Doris returned. "But I think you can start calling me 'Mom' now, don't you?" Smiling at the contented look on her son's face, she added, "Since you're planning on marrying my son and everything."

As he continued to frost the cinnamon rolls, Steve shouted for his sister. "Mary! Time to get up, Sleepyhead!"

"Oh, Steven," Doris scolded. "Leave your sister alone. Let her sleep."

Ignoring his mother, he shouted for his sister again. "Mare!"

"Dad?"

"What?" he said, smearing the last bit of frosting onto the last cinnamon roll and then wiping the extra off of the knife with his finger. Sticking his finger in his mouth, he turned and looked at her.

"Um, would it be okay if Mom and Mary and Doris go with us to the church?" she asked him. "I mean, if they want to, that is."

He gave her a surprised look and then glanced at his mom and then Catherine. "You're okay with all of them going with us?" _You really want your grandmother to join us?_

"What else are they gonna do besides sit around here, being bored?" Alex asked him. "We're not opening presents until we get home and all of the food is already prepped and –"

"Of course they can go with us," he assured her with a smile. "And, speaking of presents, I have this year's ornament ready for you to open in the living room." He had bought this year's ornament – a hand-painted scene of Paris which included the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, and Arc de Triomphe – way back in the spring, during their trip to France. It would be a great addition to the rest of the ornaments he had bought her each year and he had a feeling she would love it. He smiled at his mom and his fiancée. "Do you two mind getting breakfast ready at the table? I need to borrow my daughter for a few."

* * *

This year's ornament from her Dad had, once again, the perfect choice. The memento from their trip to Paris had brought back so many wonderful memories and had served as another reminder that her Dad really did love her and want her around. They had hung the ornament on the tree – it had joined each of the fourteen other ones – right as Mary, who was sharing a room with her, had come walking down the stairs, yawning. Together, the three of them had headed into the dining room to join Catherine and Doris, and, after her Dad declared that the largest cinnamon roll was his, they had eaten breakfast, laughing and chatting until it had been time to get dressed for church.

With five of them needing to shower and dress, they had each been resolved to taking a three-minute "Navy" shower. They had then headed to the church where they had joined Josh, Sam, and Mr. Sullivan in the second pew. Josh and Sam had, once again, wowed the crowd with a spectacular performance of _O, Come All Ye Faithful_ and, once the service was over, they had milled about with the rest of the parishioners for a few minutes, eating cookies and drinking juice, before all three of the Sullivan's eyes had locked onto Catherine's engagement ring. Excitement and a round of congratulations had ensued for nearly a half of an hour after that.

They had then headed home where they had immediately sat down in front of the Christmas tree and opened their presents. She had absolutely loved her first gift from Catherine – a matching necklace, earring, and bracelet set – that, according to Catherine, would match perfectly with her second gift – a beautiful blue-green gown that would be her attire to the upcoming Winter Formal. She had bought Catherine multiple day passes to the spa – something Catherine had mentioned needing months ago – and Catherine had insisted that she join her on at least one of those days. She and Mary had surprised each other with similar gifts – Mary had given her a $100 gift card for iTunes and she had given Mary two tickets to see Pink in concert in L.A. on February 16th – which had only reinforced how in-tune the two of them were with each other. Her Dad had loved the replacement watch – his had broken a few weeks ago – and had been completely shocked when he opened the parts – a carburetor, door panels, and vintage hubcaps – that she had bought for Grandpa's Mercury Marquis. Then, Doris had started crying at the handmade gifts she had made her – a scrapbook and photo album that documented her life story – and the promise to sit down and tell her about each picture. In return, she had also almost cried when Doris gifted her with fifteen different gifts – one for each Christmas that Doris had missed out on – and it had made her feel, for the very first time, like Doris really did love her.

That was when Danny had shown up, spotting Catherine's ring, and, while he congratulated her Dad and Catherine, she and Doris had headed into the kitchen to turn on the oven and start cooking their meal. After the ham had been placed in the oven, she had changed her clothes before taking Anchor for a nice long walk through the neighborhood. After their meal had been eaten – Alex had received numerous compliments on her menu selection – and the kitchen cleaned up, they had all headed to the backyard to relax for a little bit. They had all helped entertain Anchor for awhile before lounging on the lanai and just enjoying each other's presence.

Around four o'clock, the Sullivan's had showed up – apparently Mr. Sullivan and her dad had arranged for them to stop by for a bit – and Sam had given her dad a brand new football as a Christmas gift. Everyone except for the teenagers – they had managed to hang back without anyone noticing – had immediately headed to the backyard for a game of catch. That was when Josh had led her back onto the front porch and pointed out the mistletoe that was hanging from the awning. With grins on their faces, they had kissed for several minutes until Catherine's voice had called them out of their bliss. Catherine had told them that, while she personally saw nothing wrong with them kissing, - they were teenagers after all – they were both very lucky that it had been _she_ and not Steve who had discovered them making out on the porch. They had headed to the backyard after that and the Sullivan's left an hour later.

Then, later, they had sat back down to eat leftovers and pie. As Alex sat there, pushing food around on her plate and listening to her family's laughter, she had been shocked to feel a sudden twinge of pain in her heart. Despite how great the day had been, she had suddenly felt like something – or _someone_ – was missing. When the urge to cry had gotten too great, she had asked to be excused and then disappeared up the stairs; Anchor, of course, had been right on her heels.

Now, fifteen minutes after closing the door to her dad's room, she found herself crying as she watched old home movies. Even though her Mom had not really been around for those last two Christmases that she had lived in Seattle, Alex missed her. And, even though the home videos made that pain even worse, she couldn't tear herself away from watching them. She had a happy, loving family downstairs but even that couldn't ease the hurt in her heart. She took another tissue out of the box on the nightstand and blew her nose. Then, there was a knock before the door was being opened and Alex spotted Catherine standing there. "I'm sorry, Mom," she said tearfully. "I miss my Mom."

"Oh, Honey," Catherine said, pushing the door open further and stepping into the room. She sat down next to Alex on the bed and hugged her, kissing her on the head and holding her close. "It's okay. You don't need to apologize."

"Everything okay in –" Steve stopped talking in mid-question when he spotted Catherine comforting his crying daughter on the bed. "Alex?" He sat down on the other side of his daughter and Alex immediately cuddled up next to him. He looked at the TV screen and instantly understood what was going on.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she said, crying into his chest. "Everything was going good and it's been a great Christmas and now I miss her and I don't even know why."

"Don't ever apologize for missing your mother, Sweetheart," he told her, tightening his hold on her and resting his chin on top of her head. "It's okay." He continued to watch the movie that was playing on his TV for a few more minutes. Finally, he stated, "When we lived in Annapolis, you and I were always the first two awake. We'd snuggle on the couch together until your Mom got up and, when she did, your whole face would light up. Not because it meant that you got to open your presents but because you absolutely adored her." As he talked, he could feel Alex pulling her head away from him. "Then, after you opened all of your presents, the three of us would spend the rest of the day playing together." He turned his head and found his daughter looking up at him. "I remember one Christmas – your third," he continued. "That was the Christmas that you got this wooden dollhouse. You absolutely loved it and, even though you let me play with you both a little, that day was all about you and your Mom. You both spent all day playing with it and, to this day, I can still hear both of your laughter when I think of that moment." He glanced at Catherine, who was rubbing Alex's back soothingly, briefly then looked back at his daughter. "She was so good with you when you were little, Sweetheart. She was a great mother to you when you were little."

The tears had stopped falling but her eyes remained damp as she smiled at him. "I don't remember that so thanks for telling me."

He returned her smile before kissing her on the forehead near her hairline. "You're welcome." Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, he continued, "Now, what do you think about turning what we did last year into a new tradition?" Seeing the confused look on her face, he explained, "Taking the truck out, sitting in the back and waiting for the sun to rise."

Alex sat up straighter. "Really? We can go do that again?" When he nodded, she gave into a smile. "But what about Mom and Mary and Doris? Can they come, too?"

He brushed hair off her forehead, leaving his palm resting on her hairline. "You really want them all to come with us?" His daughter's behavior around his mother had surprised him all day. He really needed some time to talk to her about her sudden change of heart.

Alex nodded. "Our family is more complete this year than it was last year. They are part of that family."

* * *

**A/N: Please read and review. Let me know your favorite part or the most surprising part of this chapter. Thanks!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I know that it has been a very long time since I posted the last chapter and I am sorry for keeping you all waiting. It's been rough the last couple of weeks. First, my muse decided to pack her bags and leave town on me (she still hasn't really returned) then work was crazy and I got sick for a couple of days. Then I was out of town for a wedding and on the day I got back into town (on my birthday) I found out that a friend of mine lost his four-year-old son to brain cancer. Needless to say, it's been really difficult finding the time and/or energy to write this chapter. That said, this chapter is basically a combination of a lot of different plot bunnies that my muse decided to leave me. I admit that it's not anywhere near being my best chapter (heck, it may even be the worst) but it does finally reveal the last little bit of what Alex had endured during her kidnapping. Thank you to everyone who left me a comment and/or pm asking about this chapter. It really brightened my dark days to know that you all enjoy this story as much as you do. **

**As a warning, this chapter does discuss a sensitive topic (rape). **

* * *

"My favorite Christmas memory is Mary's first Christmas," Doris said, answering her granddaughter's question. Smiling at both of her kids, she explained, "Steve was almost six and usually he would wake us up by four to open presents. On this particular Christmas I woke up at seven and it was absolutely quiet in the house. When I stepped into the upstairs hallway I saw Steve sitting on his dad's recliner, holding Mary on his lap and telling her all about Christmas – both the Christian reason for the holiday and Santa."

"Aww, bro," Mary said as she smiled at her brother. "You _did_ love me when we were real little."

"That's so sweet," Catherine stated, smiling at Steve and resting her hand on his leg just above the knee. "Did you get any pictures?"

Doris nodded, laughing at the slightly embarrassed look on her son's face. "Yes, I did, although I'm not sure where they ended up."

"In one of Grandpa's boxes in the storage unit," Alex spoke up. She remembered seeing it in there during one of those days she had spent looking through all of her grandfather's things. Looking at her dad, she added, "I think we should get it out and show it to Uncle Danny. Then maybe he'd believe that you haven't always been a Neanderthal."

"Glad you all find it amusing," Steve commented when they all started to laugh. "And, yes, Mary, I've always loved you." He grinned at her, reaching over his daughter's legs to tap Mary on the arm. "Even when you are being a pain in my ass."

"Love you too."

"So Steven," Doris said, "what's yours?" They had already heard Mary's – 1991: the last Christmas before Doris had been 'killed' – and Catherine's – this year, since Steve had _finally_ proposed to her and Alex had asked her to legally become her mother – and now it was his turn to share.

"There have been a lot of wonderful Christmases," Steve told them. "Especially this one," he said, turning his head towards Catherine and placing a soft, chaste kiss on her lips. "But," he added, turning his head again and wrapping his arm around his daughter. "My absolute favorite Christmas was Alex's first one." He dropped a kiss to the top of her head. "After six years of not having a real Christmas – at least that's how it had felt to me – with Alex and Cindy my life was finally whole again. Christmas was _Christmas_ again."

Alex didn't say anything. Instead, she bent her knees to her chest and curled up against him, resting the side of her face on his shoulder. "I have four, all for different reasons," she said, knowing that it was her turn to answer the question she had posed to everyone earlier. Her tone melancholic, she continued, "The first would be the last Christmas I spent with Grandpa and the second would be the last Christmas I spent with my Mom." She shrugged. "I miss them both and I wish I could spend one more Christmas with them." She blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. "The other two would be last year and this year. Last year I was back with Dad again and this year our family is more complete."

They all smiled at her last comment for it expressed something that they each had found this year. Every one of them had, in one way or another, discovered a family this year. Whether it had been the children she had walked out on twenty years ago or the mother she had barely known or the man with the teenager daughter or the woman he had loved for years, each of the adults had either expanded or found their family again. As Alex had stated, their family _was_ more complete now.

Alex shivered against her Dad and then stood up and sat on the edge of the truck bed, her legs dangling off of the side.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm cold," Alex answered him, hopping gently off the truck to the pavement and climbing into the backseat of the truck. When she rejoined them a few minutes later she was wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt, both of which were far too big for her.

Steve shook his head. "Stealing my clothes again, I see."

Alex just shrugged, reclaiming the spot next to him. Now wasn't the time to have a discussion about just how often over the last few weeks she had worn his clothes. Nor was it the time to admit exactly _why_ she had worn his clothes on those occasions. "Time for hot chocolate?"

Steve agreed and, while Alex held the Styrofoam cups, he poured the hot chocolate. Tightening the top of the carafe, he set it aside and took his cup from his daughter. Doris, Mary, and Catherine all complimented them on the beverage while Alex tucked herself back against her dad's side. Even though reality told her she was safe, she still needed to feel his warmth in order to remind herself that the flashbacks that had started to appear a couple of days ago were _not_ a realistic threat. She needed him to make her feel safe. She felt her dad's eyes looking down at her – she just knew that he was wondering why she was so clingy – and she needed to change his focus. "Doris?"

"Yes?"

"You can call me Alex now." Four sets of eyes looked at her, each one expressing surprise at her comment. "I mean, if you want to, that is."

* * *

"Dad! Mom!"

At the sound of his daughter's voice shouting for him, Steve groaned tiredly and rolled over onto his stomach, draping one arm across Catherine's abdomen.

"What time is it?" Catherine asked, curling up on her side and pulling him closer so that he was spooning her.

Steve lifted his head, blinking blearily as he looked at the clock on the nightstand. "Four-fifteen," he told her, dropping his head back down on his pillow and groaning when Alex shouted for them again. She certainly was loud yet nothing in her voice gave him reason to be concerned. He groaned again, draping a leg over both of Catherine's and pulling the sheet back up over both of them. "Too damn early," he muttered, breathing into Catherine's hair. Sure, he had been up earlier than this on most mornings for the last eighteen years yet, after not going to sleep at all on Christmas night and not going to bed until just about four hours ago – he and Catherine had taken Alex and Tracy to see _Les Miserables_ –, he was tired and his damn kid needed to be in bed, too.

"She gets it from you, you know," Catherine said, still refusing to open her eyes.

"I'm not that loud," he muttered, hearing the sound of feet treading heavily up the stairs.

"Mom! Dad!" Alex's voice was accompanied by the sound of her knocking on the door. She called for them again and then suddenly the door was opening. "Dad! Mom!" she said, jumping onto the end of the bed.

"Alexandra!" Steve exclaimed, propping himself up on his elbows and glaring at her. "What have I –"

"You gotta come downstairs and look at the pictures," she interrupted him, pulling on his hand.

"Alex!"

Catherine rolled over onto her back, placing a hand on Steve's arm; a silent reminder for him to watch the aggressiveness in his tone. "What pictures, honey?"

Hopping in place on her knees, an excited grin blossomed on the teenager's face. "The shelter! It's finished. You gotta come see the pictures Denise sent me!"

"Alright," Catherine said, smiling at Alex as she slid out from underneath the sheet. "Let me just go to the bathroom first."

"C'mon, Dad," Alex said, tugging on his hand again, hoping that the distraction of the pictures would make him not question why exactly she was up this early.

"It's four-fifteen, Alex." At his statement – or maybe it had been the tone in his voice – the smile on his daughter's face fell and he instantly knew he had screwed up. As she backed off the bed and got to her feet, he sat up in the bed, making sure that his boxer-brief clad lower half stayed underneath the sheet. "Alex, Sweetheart—" He was cut short when his daughter stomped out of the room.

Five minutes later, after locating a clean pair of shorts and a trip to the bathroom, he headed downstairs to find Catherine and Alex sitting on the couch, looking at the laptop which was balanced on Alex's legs. "You started without me?" he asked, stepping over their stretched out legs – their feet were resting on the coffee table – and took a seat on the other side of his daughter.

"Mom wouldn't let me," Alex replied grumpily. When she started to mumble under her breath, Catherine nudged her with her elbow and reminded her to double check the attitude. Ignoring the urge to roll her eyes, Alex leaned forward and picked up one of the coffee mugs sitting on the coffee table. "Here," she said, handing it to her father. "Can I show you now?"

* * *

"So what exactly was that the other day?" Steve asked, throwing out the fishing line. After looking at the pictures that Denise had sent that morning, Catherine had received a call from her CO, calling her to report to duty on base. After she had left, Steve had decided to extend their father-daughter date by taking her out on a boat for a couple of hours. "With your grandmother?"

"It was Christmas," Alex replied, sitting back in the boat seat and propping her feet up on the ledge next to her fishing pole.

"So you decided to forgive her? Just like that?" he asked, wishing he could see her eyes through the sunglasses that she was wearing. "Or should I just consider it a Christmas miracle?"

Alex shrugged. "I thought it'd be nice for everyone to have a Christmas without fighting."

"So it was all an act," Steve stated, his tone expressing his disappointment. "It would have been better if you had been genuine."

"It wasn't an act," Alex said, finally turning her head to look at him. "I still don't trust her, Dad, but she loves you and Mary. She misses Grandpa; she's hurting, too." She shrugged again. "Those things alone made me realize that maybe I shouldn't be so hard on her all the time." She turned her head to look back out at the ocean. "But this doesn't mean that I'm going to break down the wall that's around my heart when it comes to her. I still think she's going to end up hurting you and Mary." _I think she'll end up hurting every member of the family she claims to love._

Steve sighed. One of his greatest wishes for his daughter was that she would open herself up to more people, including his mother, but then again, with him as her father and Cindy as her mother she had learned how to close her heart off to most people years ago. At least she was being honest with him. "Speaking of you being nice, I certainly had not expected you to buy the parts for the car."

"A simple 'thank you' would suffice," Alex told him, understanding the underlying meaning in his tone. "Besides, they weren't as expensive as you think they were."

"It's not…" he trailed off, changing what he wanted to say. "I'm just surprised is all and I already did say thank you."

Alex turned and grinned at him sheepishly. "Maybe it was a little selfish of me to buy 'em."

"How so?"

"I've enjoyed all the times that we've worked on Grandpa's car together," she told him. "I was kinda hoping you still want to do that. You know, maybe you still wanna teach me how to install all the parts and just teach me about cars in general."

Steve stared at her for a few moments. Even though she had worked on the Marquis alongside him on a few occasions, she had never really expressed any interest in auto mechanics at all. "Since when are you into cars?"

"I'm not really," she answered honestly. "But you are and Grandpa was and I just want to be able to share in that with you." Being in the garage with her Dad, working on Grandpa's car, had made her feel connected to both of them in a different way than anything else ever had. Sometimes, even, it had felt like Grandpa was there in the garage with them and, several times, it had felt like she could hear his voice again; she had even gotten a whiff of that smell that always reminded her of him. "I just like spending time with you." She shrugged. "I mean, I like when we do stuff as a family with Mom or with Mary or even with the rest of our ohana but I like spending one-on-one time with you, too. I like our dates."

"I like our dates, too," Steve told her, smiling at her. "Speaking of dates," he continued, reaching down into the cooler and pulling out a bottle of water. "As much as I enjoyed the movie last night, I'm a little concerned that my daughter will be playing the role of a woman who sells herself for sex."

Behind the safety of her sunglasses, Alex rolled her eyes. "Fantine's story represents the plight of millions of women around the world. Women who, due to life circumstances, are forced to do whatever it takes to take care of their children. Women who…" she trailed off, catching the uncomfortable look in her dad's eyes. "Relax, Dad, it's not like we can act out that scene in our show." Instead, she would be led off-stage by a male, only to return with a bruised face and ripped clothes that were the result of the implied rough encounter.

"It's just not easy for me to imagine you playing a character who…"

"Da-a-ad," Alex drew out, interrupting him. She didn't really mind having a discussion about the character of Fantine but doing so made her think about the phone call she had received several days ago from Alyssa. Thinking about what Alyssa had told her made her experience flashbacks. That phone call was what had triggered them to begin, after all. "Can we please just talk about something else?"

Steve studied her for a few minutes, finally deciding to risk a potential emotional shut down on her part. "Yes," he said, reaching over and taking the sunglasses off of her face. "Let's talk about what's been going on with you because, to be honest, I'm a little worried."

"Why are you worried?"

"Because your insomnia is back," he told her, watching as she turned away from him to look out at the water. "Because you've been stealing my clothes more frequently."

Alex sighed. She was quiet for a few minutes before finally deciding to admit to only a mere fraction of what she had been dealing with lately. "You remember when I was little and how I acted every time you had to go away?"

"Yeah," Steve said, nodding as his mind traveled back to ten years ago.

"_Daddy?" _

_Steve turned around to face the door of his room where his five year old was standing, cheeks still flushed from sleep. "Hi, Sweetheart," he said chirpily, already sensing the impending tantrum. He watched as Alex walked over to his bed, reached into his open duffel bag, and removed one of his t-shirts from it. As she backed away, he reached out a hand and placed it gently on her head. When she looked up at him, he said, "No." _

_She pouted out her bottom lip. "You can't go."_

_Steve sighed, taking his t-shirt out of her hands and placing it back in the duffel before picking her up. With her perched on one hip, he picked up the duffel in his free hand and headed to the living room. He sat down on the couch, with Alex sitting in his lap facing him and her arms around his neck. "I'll be back in a couple of days." _

"_I don't want you to go." _

"_I have to go, Sweetheart," he told her, placing a kiss on her forehead. _

"_Why?" _

"_It's my job," he answered her, reaching up and pulling her pigtails tight. "We talked about this, remember? The Navy makes me go away sometimes."_

"_You were gone _five_ days ago," she reminded him, accidentally scratching his neck with her cast. "You just got home!" _

"_Alexandra," he said warningly, trying to stave off the screaming that threatened to be had. "I know I just got home." She had been right – it had only been five days ago when he had walked out of the debriefing building towards the parking lot when his little girl had come running towards him, screaming his name excitedly. His father had stood there, leaning against his rental car, just smiling at them; his dad had flown from Hawaii to Seattle a week ago and had driven down to Coronado to surprise him with a visit from his daughter. "But the Navy needs me to go away again… just for a few days." _

"_No!" Alex said loudly. _

"_Alex –"_

"_The Navy's a big stupid head," she exclaimed. _

_There was a knock on the apartment door and Steve, knowing who it was, yelled, "It's open!" Spotting his dad walk into the room, he returned his attention to his daughter. "You and Grandpa are going to have fun for a couple of days and, before you know it, I'll be back."_

"_No!" Alex screamed, her eyes filling with tears. _

"_Alexandra!" Steve and John exclaimed simultaneously._

_Even at five years old, Alex knew she shouldn't be yelling at her dad but she didn't care. He was her daddy and the Navy shouldn't take her daddy away from her. "I don't want you to go!" she told him again, tightening her hold around his neck._

_Steve glanced at his dad, who stepped forward and reached to take Alex from him. "C'mon, Princess," John said, gently pulling the girl away from her father. "If we leave now, we can go feed the seagulls on the beach." _

"_No!" Alex shouted, wrapping her arms tighter around Steve, kneeing him in the ribs as she did. _

"_C'mon, Sweetheart," Steve said, trying to peel his daughter's fingers from their death grip on his neck. "I need you to be a big girl for me." Having success, he passed his daughter off to his dad and stood up. Stepping over to his duffel, he sealed it shut and slung it over one shoulder. He stepped back over to his dad and daughter. "I love you, Sweetheart," he told her, leaning forward and kissing her. When she flung herself forward, nearly falling as she did, he had no choice but to grab her. She instantly hugged his neck again, burying her face in the crook of his neck. With another sigh, he held her against him. He had only been living apart from her for ten months, yet, every time he had to say goodbye to her, it got harder and harder to do so. _

"_She'll be okay, Steve," John assured him, prying his granddaughter off of her father. "Princess and I are going to have lots of fun – the Zoo and the beach and we'll go look at the boats in the Naval Yard –"_

"_Daddy's sposed to take me to the Zoo," Alex piped in, her eyes full of tears. _

"_When I get back, we'll go," Steve assured her. "You're going to get to visit the Zoo two times," he explained, giving her a smile. _

"_I don't want you to go," Alex stated again, her tone extremely tearful. _

"That little girl is still inside of me," Alex stated, bringing him back to the present. "Just because I don't throw tantrums when you leave anymore, doesn't mean I'm okay with you leaving." _It doesn't mean I don't have anxiety every time you get called to a case; I'm scared you'll be murdered, too._

* * *

"Hi, Kono," Catherine greeted after opening the front door. Smiling, she added, "Please, come in."

"Hi, Catherine," Kono greeted in return as she stepped across the threshold and into the house. "Hi, Ste –" Her voice changed to one of concern when she saw her boss sitting on the couch, holding an ice pack to his groin and another to his left eye. "Geez, what the heck happened to you?"

Steve just grunted. He'd been spending the last ten minutes trying to wrap his mind around what had happened but none of it made any sense. His daughter had been acting a little strange the last couple of days, even more so after that afternoon on the boat two days ago, but the bits and pieces he had been able to put together – insomnia; fear of something happening to him on the job; missing Seattle – did not even begin to explain what had happened.

Despite her own confusion about the whole situation, Catherine took pity on him and answered Kono's question. "Any concerns we had about Alex being able to defend herself…" she trailed off, shaking her head at the memory of what had happened not even fifteen minutes ago. She and Steve had come in from a short run on the beach to find Alex standing in the middle of the living room, just staring out the front window. Steve had touched her gently on the shoulder and, without any warning, Alex had jerked around, quickly kneeing Steve in the groin before punching him in the face. It was only when Catherine had shouted her name that Alex had snapped out of whatever trance she had been in. When Alex realized what she had done to her father, her face had taken on a look of shock and then she had run up the stairs to her room. Catherine had tried to talk to Alex, tried to find out what had scared her, but the teenager had refused to talk to her.

Kono gasped. "Alex hit you?"

"She did more than hit me," Steve managed to say, his voice at a slightly higher pitch than normal. He shifted in place slightly, groaning as he did.

"It's just not normal behavior for her," Catherine said, glancing up the stairs at Alex's closed bedroom door. She looked back at Steve, asking a question that she didn't expect him to have an answer for. "What the hell had her spooked?"

"Do you think I'd be sitting here, icing my nuts, if I knew the answer to that?" Steve snapped at her.

"Steve –"

Kono, who could feel the confusion and tension in the air, interrupted Catherine. "Maybe I'll have some luck." She shrugged. "I'm taking her to lunch; maybe she'll open up to me."

* * *

"Thanks for bringing me here," Alex said, glancing at Kono as they walked through the grounds of the cemetery towards the gravesite. "I know it's not what we had originally planned to do."

"That's okay," Kono assured her, following the teenager as they weaved through the headstones. She had no idea whose gravesite Alex planned on visiting. All she knew was that, during lunch, an extremely remorseful Alex had confessed to having hurt Steve and then had asked if they could stop by this cemetery. "You had a rough morning so if this helps –"

"Here it is," Alex said, stopping in front of a headstone and interrupting Kono. "My dad hated him."

Kono looked at the name on the headstone: Martin Engler. A confused Kono – why had Alex requested to visit the grave of one of her kidnappers? – looked back at the teenager. "That's understandable; Martin Engler was one of your kidnappers."

Alex shook her head. "He saved me, Kono." Alex squatted down, brushing some soil off of the headstone. "He saved me from more than anyone knows. He saved me from stuff I thought I had hidden so far away in my mind that I would never have to think about it again." She looked up at Kono. "Until a few days ago."

"Does this relate to what happened this morning?"

Alex nodded, taking a seat in the grass. "I know my parents want answers – they want to know where my mind was when I hurt my Dad – but some things… some things you just can't tell your parents."

Kono took a seat in the grass next to her. "If you're looking for someone to talk to, you can talk to me."

Alex opened her mouth but then closed it, hesitating for several long moments. She finally took a deep breath and started talking. "Alyssa called me last week to tell me about this party she went to with one of her friends. Some of the things going on at the party made her feel uncomfortable so she called her parents to come pick her up. She tried to get her friend to leave with her but her friend refused." Alex glanced at Kono before continuing. "The next morning Alyssa found out that her friend was raped at the party and Alyssa believes that, if she had stayed, she also would have been raped."

"That's –"

"The thing is, though," Alex continued, interrupting Kono, "apparently another girl from my school was raped on Christmas Eve. Our society is so saturated with it."

Kono nodded before attempting to speak again. "You're right: rape is a pretty common crime." In the United States, Kono had learned from research, sexual assault occurred every two minutes with an average of over 200,000 victims each year. "I'm sorry to hear about what happened to both of those girls but I'm glad that Alyssa followed her gut and got herself out of that situation."

Alex nodded. "Me too." She diverted her eyes down as her fingers toyed with blades of grass. "It just…," she said, her voice dropping to just above a whisper as she continued, "it makes me remember what happened to me."

Kono didn't answer right away, trying to understand what Alex was saying. "I'm sorry, Alex, but I don't really understand. That day, at the hospital, the doctor said…"

* * *

"He pulled my shorts down," Alex stated, keeping her eyes on the model sailboat – it had always served as a focus point – situated on the second shelf of the bookshelf in her therapist's office. "I was naked from the waist down and he was just looking at me with this creepy grin on his face." She took a deep breath, not able to look over at the couch where her parents were sitting, and moved her eyes to glance at Dr. Knight before resting them on Kono, her eyes pleading for Kono's support and encouragement.

Kono nodded. "It's okay, Alex. Go on." Alex had re-confirmed what the ER doctor had told them all on that day Alex had found on the side of road – she had _not_ been sexually assaulted. Yet, Alex had told her the whole story – of where her mind had been prior to her hurting her father – and had become more distraught, more anxiety-laden, with each passing moment. After Alex had finished talking, Kono had suggested that they give Dr. Knight a call, to ask for an emergency appointment so Alex could get some help from the adolescent psychologist. Dr. Knight had an opening appointment and, during the drive to the hospital, Alex had asked Kono to call her parents and ask them to meet them there. Steve and Catherine had met them in the waiting area less than five minutes after their arrival and, when Dr. Knight had come out to get them, Alex had requested that only Kono join her inside the office at first. Only then, after Alex had spoken with Dr. Knight – she had re-told her story in its entirety as well as explaining what she had done to her father that morning – had Steve and Catherine been called back to join them. Now, Alex was repeating the story for them.

"Boris got naked and he…" Alex trailed off, visibly shuddering at the memory. "Detective Engler saved me." She started tapping her foot on the floor nervously as she took a few moments to get her breathing back under control. "But now I keep seeing it all over again in my head. Only now, Detective Engler isn't there to save me."

It took a few minutes for anyone to respond – Dr. Knight and Kono were giving Steve and Catherine time to process everything – but then Steve broke the silence. "Alex, Sweetheart –"

Alex visibly cringed at the sound of his voice before jumping to her feet. Looking at her therapist, she said, "I can't…"

Victoria Knight nodded with an understanding that had come after months of therapy sessions with the girl. "Okay. We can continue talking about this next time if you want."

Alex nodded and then looked at Kono. "Can you take me home now?"

A few minutes later, after Kono and Alex had departed the room, Steve looked at Victoria Knight. "Do you think…" he shook his head, trying to clear it of the new concern he had for his daughter. "Is it possible that she's still hiding something from us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think Martin Engler really was there?" Steve swallowed the lump in his throat. "What's the likelihood that she's sparing us from other details? Do you think she was –"

"Steve," Catherine said, placing a comforting hand on his arm. "Doctor Davenport had checked her for any signs of sexual assault; there were none."

"I know what he told me," Steve replied. "But what –"

"No," Victoria Knight interrupted him. "I don't think she's withholding anything from us."

"My daughter won't even look at me," Steve said, his tone worrisome. "I've interviewed rape victims before, Dr. Knight, and –"

"Mr. McGarrett," Victoria interrupted, hoping to calm him down before he turned into a raging storm. "I've spent a lot of time with Alexandra. I've also spent a lot of time working with girls her age who have been raped and that look in your daughter's eye? Her body language? That's remorse. Remorse from what she did to you this morning."

* * *

"Thanks, Kono," Steve said as he walked her to the door. "I really appreciate you being there for her today."

"Anytime, Steve," Kono returned. "I'm just glad that she was willing to open up to you and Catherine, too."

"Me too," he told her, opening the door. He bid her goodbye with another thank you and then closed the door behind her. He turned around to spot Catherine still standing in the dining room, her back towards him as she looked out the windows into the backyard. He walked towards her, stepping up right behind her and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her tightly into his embrace. He kissed the side of her head, before leaning down and resting his chin on her shoulder. "Did you know about Alyssa's friend or the girl from Alex's school?"

"No," Catherine replied, her gaze still focused on the teenager sitting down in the sand. "Alex never said anything to me."

"I didn't know either," Steve told her. He also watched his daughter for a few minutes, seeing her toss a tennis ball into the water for Anchor to retrieve, only to do it all again when the dog brought it back to her, dropping it at her feet. "I'm not mad at her for what happened." Actually, he was pretty damn impressed by how well she could defend herself. Any father would probably be proud to have a daughter who could render any male useless with an effective and well-placed knee to the groin. "Although, I don't think you and I will be having sex tonight."

"You should tell her that you're not mad at her," Catherine said, turning in his arms to face him. "You know how she gets – she holds onto guilt like it's her lifeline – and she still has this deep seated fear that you're going to abandon her like Cindy did. Maybe she needs some reassurance that –"

Steve interrupted her with a kiss. "I understand what she's going through – the PTSD part, that is – and I will go try to explain that to her." He kissed her again. "Love you."

He then left her, exiting through the door to the lanai, and walked barefoot through the grassy backyard. He slowed down his pace as he approached the beach, stopping in place when Anchor ran up to him, tennis ball in mouth, and rubbed against him, begging to be petted. Steve obliged by running a hand down the dog's back and then a satisfied Anchor turned and headed back to Alex, where he laid down right in front of her. Steve approached his daughter cautiously, deciding to stand a few feet away from her. "If you think I'm mad at you, I'm not," he said, his head facing the beach while he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "I'm not mad at you, Sweetheart."

"I'm sorry," Alex told him. "I didn't mean to do it. I didn't know it was you until after it happened."

Steve nodded. "I know, Sweetheart." He took a few steps over to her and sat down next to her, being careful to not touch her. She may be talking to him but that didn't mean she wouldn't be terrified by his touch again. "I understand what it's like to be trapped inside a flashback. I understand what it's like to react the way you did; I've been there myself."

Alex nodded, remembering those nights after he had returned from North Korea. That had been the first and only time her Dad had physically hurt her – she had made the mistake of trying to wake him from a nightmare – and she would never forget the haunted look he had in his eyes that night. "Yeah, I remember what you were like after North Korea."

Steve nodded. "I almost choked Catherine once."

"What?" Alex asked, her jaw dropping open in surprise. "You did?"

Steve nodded again. "It happened one night – I had been asleep and must have been dreaming about one of my missions – when Catherine rolled over in bed and bumped me." The look in his eyes told his daughter that he was still bothered by what he had done. "The next thing I know, I'm hearing someone call my name and I look down to see my hand around her throat."

"Wow," Alex exclaimed, looking at him for the first time. "But you were asleep when that happened; I was _awake_."

"He's not always asleep when it happens." Alex and Steve both jerked their heads around to see Catherine stepping towards them. "It's happened in the middle of the day, when he's been wide awake, yet trapped in a flashback."

Alex turned to look at Steve. "Really?"

He nodded. "Yep. A flashback is a flashback, regardless of whether you are asleep or awake. And how we react during them – how we react when we are startled – isn't something we should feel guilty about." He reached a tentative hand out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "You shouldn't be upset with yourself for what happened – you couldn't control it – and I'm not upset with you either."

Alex shrugged. "Yeah, I guess." The tension in Alex's body relaxed when Catherine sat down next to her. "The thing is…" Alex said, glancing at her dad and then back at the water. "This shouldn't be bothering me at all. It would be one thing if I _had_ been raped but…"

"You went through something very traumatic, Sweetheart," Steve reminded her. "Just because the act was prevented doesn't change anything: it was still a traumatic experience for you."

Alex sighed, leaning slightly against Catherine before reaching her hand out and rubbing behind Anchor's ears. "He saved me, Dad," she finally said, turning her head to look at him. "He saved me _twice_ and you still hate him."

Steve shook his head. "I don't like him for going along with the plot to put you in that situation to begin with," he clarified. "However, I am very grateful that he kept Boris from hurting you."

"Okay," Alex said, before turning to look at Catherine. "Are you mad that I wouldn't tell you?"

Catherine shook her head. "Not at all, Honey. I'm actually just really glad that you decided to tell somebody because that kind of stuff… it's not good to keep it to yourself."

* * *

**A/N: I was hesitant to include the part where Steve mentions icing his "nuts" but JMReagan encouraged me to keep it in. Thanks again to everyone who attempted to send my muse back home to me where she belongs. **

**Thanks for reading!**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Last week was a tough week for those of us in the USA. Prayers to Boston and West, Texas and prayers of thanksgiving that no one ended up being killed by the Ricin. Ricin is deadly and it's a brutal death, at that. **

**Moving on… thank you to everyone who pm'd me or reviewed after the last chapter: Angel, sunny irish, Guest, Pat Toby, francis2, anonguest, Maggiemcgarrett, guest, pinkphoenix1985, ncis42, JMReagan, FicreaderT, bloodwolf347, homeybadger123, Suuz-5-5 as well as a huge welcome to suninthenightsky. So glad you found this story and are enjoying it! Thanks for your reviews!**

**As a warning, there is some discussion of sex in this story. It's nothing graphic or descriptive at all but since there are minors who read this story, I figured I should post the warning.**

* * *

"You okay?" Josh asked, his hands resting on top of the piano keys. Alex nodded but the immediate grimace afterwards conflicted with it. "You're in pain," he said, immediately reaching for her hand. He brushed his thumb over her scar; a second painful grimace on her face confirmed his suspicion. "How can I make it feel better?"

Alex shook her head, sucking in a painful breath. "You can't."

He stared at her for a few moments and then looked back at her hand. He looked at her again and a smile appeared on his face. He brought her palm to his mouth and kissed the scar. "No luck, huh?" He shrugged. "Kissing the 'boo boo' always used to work when we were little."

"Yeah," Alex murmured, appreciating how sweet he was. She leaned forward and kissed him, jerking and biting his lip when another sharp burst of pain traveled through her hand. "Sorry," she grunted through clenched teeth.

"It's okay," he said, swiping his tongue over the blood on his bottom lip. "No harm done," he assured her, giving her a smile. "I wish I could help make the pain go away."

"It'll pass," she told him, the pain causing a tear to fall down one cheek. "Always does."

"Yeah," he acknowledged, reaching out and wiping the tear away with his thumb. "But you shouldn't have to deal with this pain at all."

Alex nodded. "You shouldn't have to deal with the pain of me biting your lip." Her gaze drifted up from his mouth to his eyes. "You shouldn't have to deal with me giving you a black eye either." _That_ had happened this morning when he had snuck up behind her at the mini golf place. It had triggered a memory from the cabin and, like she had done with her dad only a few days ago, she had struck out, punching him in the eye. He hadn't retaliated or gotten mad – for some odd reason, he had known that the punch had been the result of having interrupted a flashback – and, while they had iced his eye, she had told him – having already told the story to Kono, Dr. Knight, and her parents, it had been so much easier to talk to Josh – about the recent memories of the near-rape. He, of course, had expressed anger at Boris and then had hugged her, reassuring her that he was not upset with her. He then had expressed how impressed he was by her ability to throw a punch.

Josh shrugged, giving into a smirk. "You could always try kissing them to make it better."

Alex rolled her eyes but went ahead and gave him a peck on his lips before placing a soft kiss on the bruise surrounding his eye. "Better?"

"Much," he answered. "How about you stop playing along with me and just focus on the singing?"

"I don't want to sing anymore."

"Okay," Josh said, picking his hands up from where they had been resting on the piano keys. Closing the lid to the keys, he suggested, "How about we go down to the beach for a little bit?"

* * *

Steve stormed through the backyard, headed straight for the beach. He and Catherine had just arrived home and, while Catherine had headed upstairs to change out of her duty uniform, he had gone looking for his daughter and Josh. He had stepped onto the lanai and had instantly regretted allowing the boy to spend the afternoon at the house _without_ adult supervision. He reached the sand, moving around the sunglass clad, sleeping teenagers to stand in front of them, blocking the sun. With feet spread shoulder width apart and arms crossed in front of him, he glared down at them. He could feel his blood pressure rising as he stared down at his daughter, who was curled up on her side, her head on Josh's shoulder and a hand resting palm down on his chest. Before he even had a chance to nudge them with his boot, Josh spoke up. "Hi, Mr. McGarrett."

"What the _hell_," Steve started to say, using the toe of his boot to nudge his daughter's foot. "Do you two think you are doing?"

"Sir?" Josh said, his sunglasses masking the confusion in his eyes. With Alex slowly stirring next to him, he removed his arm from around her and sat up.

"What the _HELL _is this?" Steve yelled.

"Dad?" Alex said, sounding slightly dazed as she sat up. "What are you –"

"Sir –"

"Up! Both of you!" Steve yelled. "Now!"

The teens both obliged but it took Alex longer to do so as she was still unsteady and dizzy from the heavy dose of painkillers she had taken earlier. "Sir, what –"

"Go home, Josh!" Steve yelled, cutting off the boy's question and pointing towards the house with his finger. "And you," he continued, turning his attention to his daughter. "Get your butt to your room!"

"Hey!" Catherine shouted, catching all of their attention as she made her way through the backyard towards them. Reaching the last bit of grass right before the sand, she asked, "What's with all the shouting?"

Steve ignored her question, turning his eyes on Josh again. "GO HOME, JOSH!"

Josh looked at Steve for a few moments and then glanced at Alex and Catherine before deciding to obey the order given him. He had absolutely no idea why Mr. McGarrett was shouting at them; he would try to figure that out later.

"Steve?" Catherine asked, turning her attention back to her fiancée as Josh jogged towards the side of the house.

He ignored her again. "Alexandra McGarrett! I thought I told you to go to your room!"

"Why are you yelling at me?"

"I'd like to know the same thing," Catherine said, the look on her face clearly expressing that she believed Steve was acting irrationally. "Why are you yelling at them?"

"Lieutenant Rollins?" Alex and Catherine turned around at the sound of Josh's voice. "Catherine?" Josh continued, sparing an uneasy glance at Steve. "The front tire of my bike is flat." He shrugged. "Must have rolled over a nail or piece of glass or something." He looked at Catherine. "Could you give me a ride home?"

"Of course I –"

Steve interrupted Catherine. "No! I will be taking you home. I think I need to have a talk with your dad about –"

"Alex and I are going with you then," Catherine said, seeing the uncomfortable look in Josh's eyes.

"No," Steve replied, shaking his head. Looking at his daughter again, he continued, "How many times do I have to tell you to go to your room?"

"Alex, Josh," Catherine said, turning to face both of the teenagers. "Go wait for us in the truck."

Without a word, both teens glanced at Steve and then quickly headed away towards the side of the house. When they were gone, Catherine turned and, with her arms crossed, turned her sights on Steve.

"Don't give me that look," Steve told her, knowing exactly what that look meant.

"Why were you yelling at them?"

Steve shook his head, refusing to answer her. "We're not talking about this right now." He moved past her, making sure he was well outside of her range of reach so that she couldn't reach a hand out and thwart his progress.

* * *

"Did you have a bad day at work or something?" Alex asked as her dad pulled out of the driveway. It was really the only logical explanation for why he had just acted the way he did in the backyard.

"What?" Steve said, glancing over his shoulder at her.

"Usually when you have a bad day you come home and start acting like a –"

"Not another word from you," Catherine said, turning around to look at the teenager seated behind her. "I want you to sit there and be quiet. Got it?" Alex just looked at her, not saying a word. "I asked you a question."

"You said 'not another word'", Alex pointed out.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Steve give into a slight smirk, which disappeared as soon as she pinched him on the thigh. Narrowing her eyes at the teenager, she repeated, "Not another word from you for the rest of the drive." When Alex nodded and turned to look out the window, Catherine looked at Josh and then turned back around. "That goes for both of you as well. Understood?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Josh and Steve said at the same time before Steve made a point to bring one hand to his lips, acting like he was zipping them closed.

The rest of their twenty minute drive to the Sullivan house was full of absolute silence. No one, not even Catherine, opened their mouth to speak. Pulling up to the curb in front of the house, Steve put the truck in park. "Alright, Josh, let's go."

Catherine laid a hand on Steve's bicep. "Maybe we all should go inside."

Steve shook his head. "No. This is something Josh, Jason and I need to discuss." With another glance in his rearview mirror at Josh, he repeated, "Let's go, Josh."

Catherine waited until Steve and Josh were inside of the house before she undid her seatbelt and turned around to face Alex. "What happened earlier?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know why he's mad at us. I don't know why he yelled."

"Okay," Catherine returned. "Why don't you just tell me about earlier? Maybe we can figure it out together."

"I fell asleep after taking some pain medicine for my hand," Alex began, removing her seatbelt and getting more comfortable in the seat. "I woke up to Dad nudging me with his foot and then he just started yelling."

* * *

"I understand your concern, Steve," Jason said, looking at Steve across the coffee table. "But I think we both can agree that the situation certainly could have been worse." After getting a slight nod of agreement from Steve, he turned his attention to Josh, who was sitting in the recliner at the end of the table. "Do you understand why Mr. McGarrett was upset?"

Josh, who was still wearing his sunglasses, leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I understand that he's protective of Alex. _That_ I get." He shook his head. "But no, I don't understand why he was upset." Josh turned his head to look at Steve. "No disrespect, Sir, but I honestly don't understand why you automatically assumed we had been doing something you don't approve of."

Steve expelled a breath before replying. "You were asleep… practically on top of one another."

Josh shook his head. "Not true, Sir. _Alex_ was the only one asleep."

"You both are fifteen years old," Steve reminded him. "You should not be –"

"Sir," Josh said, interrupting him. "We did not plan on going down to the beach and taking a nap. We were talking and then suddenly her head was on my shoulder and she was fast asleep." Josh stood up, moving to stand behind the recliner. "I get that she's your daughter. I get that you have rules and I respect those rules."

"One of his rules is that the two of you not fall asleep cuddling," Jason reminded his son. He wasn't choosing sides – Steve had over-reacted yet Josh needed to understand that he must abide by Steve's rules for being around Alex – and was trying to serve as a good mediator between the two. "Cuddling and sleeping next to each other can lead to things that neither of you is ready for."

"I gave him my word," Josh reminded his father. "I promised him that I would never disobey his rules and I also promised him that I would take care of Alex." Josh turned his attention back to Steve. "Today those two things were in conflict with each other so I went with what I thought you would prefer I do: take care of your daughter."

That was not exactly what he had expected to hear from Josh. "What do you mean?"

"She had a rough day," Josh told him before lowering his voice a little. "A rough few weeks actually." He cleared his throat. "She –"

"You need to look Mr. McGarrett in the eye when you talk to him," Jason said, fed up with the fact that his son was still wearing his sunglasses. "Take your sunglasses off."

"Dad," Josh started to complain.

"Take them off."

Josh sighed and then turned his head away so that they could only see one side of his face. Only then did he remove his sunglasses. "Alex hasn't been sleeping and –"

"What did I tell you, Joshua?" Jason interrupted, not quite understanding why his son was acting so out of character. Usually Josh had no problem with looking someone in the eye while talking to them. "Be respectful."

"She had a rough morning," Josh said, not yet turning to face them. "I should have known better than to sneak up on her."

"Joshua," Jason warned again.

"I just wanted her to get some sleep," Josh continued. "To stop being so on edge." With that said, he turned, revealing his black eye to both of the men, who jumped to their feet.

"She hit you?" Steve asked, stepping closer to look at the damage to the teenager's left orbit.

"I snuck up on her," Josh said, wincing slightly under the faint brushing of his father's fingers over the bruise. "She didn't mean to hit me. She thought I was Boris. She thought I was…" Josh trailed off, blinking away the overwhelming emotion that hit him every time he thought about the trauma Alex had endured during her kidnapping. "I don't care that she hit me." He gave into a laugh, hoping it would change the mood in the room. "I think you'd actually be proud about how hard she hits."

Ignoring Josh's laughter, Steve turned to his friend. "I am so sorry, Jason."

* * *

"Do you think that maybe his issue was with you sleeping on top of Josh?" Catherine asked after listening to Alex's recap of her entire day.

"I wasn't _on top_ of Josh," Alex told her, leaning her head on the side of the driver's seat headrest. "I was asleep _next_ to him." She shook her head. "I don't get why he can't trust me. He always jumps to conclusions and always thinks I'm up to no good."

"It's not you that he doesn't trust you, Honey," Catherine replied. "You're his daughter and he's concerned about your well-being."

"Josh isn't a bad guy."

"I know that," Catherine said, "and so does your Dad." She reached over and brushed hair off of Alex's face. "Your dad and I remember what it was like to be your age. At fifteen, sometimes your hormones can get the best of you."

Alex sat back in the seat, putting distance between herself and Catherine. "You and Dad think about sex a lot, you know that?"

"Alex –"

"What? It's true," Alex argued. "You both have given me numerous lectures on the topic but have never asked me what _my_ views are on the matter. You both automatically assume that I'm going to take after my Dad in that regard too."

"I've never…" Catherine trailed off, recognizing the look in Alex's eye as one that told her she was close to clamming up and refusing to continue talking to her. Opting for another route, she asked, "You're right. We have never asked you that but how about we talk about that now?"

Alex didn't say anything for several long moments. "I'm fifteen, Mom. I spend eight hours at school in class and another two-and-a-half in rehearsals. I spend another hour, at the least, commuting to and from school each day. That's half of my day right there and that doesn't even include the three or four hours I spend on homework each day. That leaves eight hours to eat, sleep, shower, and walk Anchor. Even if I wanted to be having sex, when would I find the time?"

Alex brought up a good point: apart from school breaks and weekends, she never had any free time. Yet that still didn't get to the heart of the matter. "That's a good point, Honey, but it doesn't really tell me if, given the opportunity, you would have sex with Josh. Or any boy for that matter."

"No, I wouldn't." Alex was firm in her answer; Catherine didn't doubt her one bit.

"No," Catherine repeated while silently breathing a sigh of relief. Although Catherine herself had lost her virginity in high school – she had been sixteen – and also believed that Alex would practice safe sex, she also felt that Alex was not emotionally ready to enter into a sexual relationship. "Thank you for your honesty."

"It's not that I don't like Josh," Alex continued. "Because I do. I like him a lot and I'm pretty sure it's well known that we'll most likely start dating when I finally turn sixteen." _Only 133 more days_.

"Yeah," Catherine replied, nodding her head in agreement. "I've already started trying to help prepare your dad for that day."

"I like Josh," Alex repeated. "And I don't know if, in a year from now, I will feel differently."

Catherine sensed there was more. "But?"

Alex shrugged. "All I know for sure is that I understand what it's like to be the result of an unplanned pregnancy. Failed birth control; a torn condom; whatever it was that resulted in me." Alex got momentarily distracted by the front door of Josh's house opening. Spotting her dad as he stepped onto the front porch, she hurried to finish her though. "I know what it's like to be the reason that two people stayed together much longer than they ever should have – the reason my parents ended up hating each other – and I don't want my future children to ever feel that way. I want…" Alex trailed off, closing her mouth as her Dad started making his way back to the truck.

Alex's explanation pulled at Catherine's heartstrings. Whether the teenager realized it or not, what she had just said, spoke volumes about the deep-seated pain she was still harboring. Feelings of having been a mistake, of having been unwanted, were as ever present now as they had been on the day Cindy had relinquished her parental rights. Despite all of the trauma Alex had experienced over the last two years, the emotional scars from having had a neglectful mother and a semi-absent father during her formative years still had the greatest effect on her overall well-being. Catherine had thought much of that had been addressed during therapy but Alex's comments proved that some scars ran far too deep.

"I apologized for yelling at Josh," Steve said as he climbed into the truck. Turning around, he looked at his daughter. "Maybe I over reacted just a little. I'm sorry."

"Okay, thanks," Alex said, sliding to the right so she was once again sitting behind Catherine. She buckled her seatbelt and then directed her eyes to look out the window.

It was then that Steve noticed Catherine, who was still looking back at Alex, with a strange look in her eye. "Everything okay in here?"

Catherine blinked twice then turned to look at him. Giving into a fake smile, she answered, "Yeah. Now let's go back home."

Steve gave her a look that told her he didn't quite believe her. Glancing at Alex, he figured he would save his questions for Catherine for later. "I have a better idea. How about we head to the North Shore for dinner?" He wanted to talk to his daughter about what had happened today – punching Josh; taking medication for the severe pain in her hand; why he had yelled at her and Josh; as well as some other things that today's case had brought to mind – and, if that conversation took place at the house, Alex would probably take the opportunity to run upstairs and lock herself in her bedroom when she felt the questions either made her uncomfortable or got too tough.

* * *

"Which cereal do you want to get?" Doris asked her granddaughter as they turned into the cereal aisle of the grocery store. Even though her residence was now at Catherine's house, she still spent a good portion of her day at the house she had raised her children in. As it was, she still had some of her things there while some of Catherine's things were still at that house. Doris spent her nights at the smaller house but she still helped Steve out with things at his house. Like grocery shopping, for example, on those days when he and Catherine, with their busy schedules, could not find the time to do so. Knowing she would need to pick up some items for them, she had offered to take her granddaughter for a manicure that morning – it was a day off of school for Alex – before stopping by the store.

Looking up from the cell phone which she had been glued to for the last twenty minutes, Alex shrugged. "Cheerios?" A dinging sound emitted from the phone, signaling the arrival of another text message. In the three weeks since that morning she had punched Josh (as well as the subsequent awkward conversations with both her dad and Catherine), she had spent more time texting throughout the day than she had ever since moving in with her dad. Of course, she had gotten in trouble a few times with her parents for texting during dinner or late into the night. Regardless of the many threats to have her phone taken away, she still felt it was more important – for Alyssa and other friends in Seattle as well as for her own sanity – to keep up the steady flow of messages; her PTSD laden mind needed the distraction.

Doris laughed, shaking her head. Alex reminded her so much of Steve when he had been younger. "You may as well get three or four boxes then since you and your dad both eat them." As the teenager quickly typed a message on the phone's touch screen, Doris watched her. She disliked how much time Alex had started spending on her phone but today the girl at least had been responsive every time she had been spoken to. That was much better than last week when their family dinner had been interrupted by Steve ripping the phone out of his daughter's hands after he had, unsuccessfully, attempted to engage her in conversation three different times without receiving a single response. When Alex slid the phone into her pocket and turned to face the cereal, Doris continued down the aisle.

A few minutes later, Alex joined her in one of the freezer aisles, dropping four boxes of cereal into the cart. "You disappeared on me," Alex commented, deciding to inform her grandmother of the creepy man who had been in the aisle with her. "You left me alone with some creepy dude who kept checking you out."

"Sorry," Doris replied, giving her a kind smile. "Your dad used to take _forever_ to pick his cereal. I didn't want to rush you in case you were the same way." The truth was, however, that Doris had fled the aisle after spotting the man, who had been standing near Alex looking at cereal boxes, checking her out. Not wanting him to realize she had caught him watching her, she had vanished to another section of the store, wanting to test her gut feeling that he was following her.

"I'm not completely like my Dad," Alex replied, pulling her phone out of her pocket when it dinged with an incoming message. She leaned back against one of the closed freezer doors and started typing a response.

Doris returned to looking at the selection of frozen vegetables. In the reflection on the glass, she spotted the same man from earlier; once again he glanced in her direction. "Alex? Would you mind heading over to the bakery section and seeing if they have any fresh bread for us to make garlic bread tonight? Maybe you can teach me to make that famous chicken parm of yours?"

"Sure!" Alex said, heading off immediately with her phone in hand.

With her granddaughter gone, Doris decided to approach the man. She spun around and walked towards him, ramming her shopping cart into his. "You are following me."

"No, I wasn't."

"Oh really?" Doris replied, reaching into his cart and picking up the box of cereal he must have selected earlier. "Well I suggest you try something with a little more fiber because clearly you are full of crap."

* * *

Catherine stepped out of the kitchen, carrying a bowl and a glass of water. She walked over to the couch where Steve was sitting, eating an MRE and reading from a book that was lying on the coffee table in front of him. "Hey, we missed you surfing yesterday morning." They had both had plans with some of their old Navy buddies to go surfing yesterday but when she had arrived at the beach, fresh off of an overnight shift, he hadn't been there. She had called him several times but each time his phone had gone to voicemail. Due to his having worked all day yesterday and she having had another overnight shift last night, this was the first time since then that they had seen each other.

"I had something else I had to do," he replied, giving her a cursory glance before returning his attention to the book.

"Yeah?" she said, setting the glass of water down on the table. "What's going on?"

"Work related stuff," he answered, lying as he gave her a fake smile before returning to his beef stew MRE. She didn't need to know that he had hired an old Navy contact to spy on his mother.

Catherine studied him, knowing he was fibbing and being vague for a reason. She decided to figure out the reason why later. "Well, I can't believe you passed up my grandmother's ragu," she commented, showing him the bowl in her hands. "For beef stew MRE."

"I had a craving."

"For military rations?" she asked, incredulous. He was acting _very_ weird.

"Will you do me a favor," he started, pointing behind her with his fork, "and pass me that canteen behind you please?"

He returned to eating his MRE as she reached for the canteen from the end table. A grin appeared on her face as she turned back around with the canteen in hand. Handing him the canteen, she said, "You know what? I have my camo in the car. If you want, I can throw them on and we can play out this whole trapped in a bunker fantasy you've got going on right now." Now _that_ comment got his attention.

Steve swallowed a swig of water as he looked at her, memories from other nights spent acting out fantasies floating around in his mind. He set down the canteen and the MRE as he gave into a smile. "I like the foxhole fantasy." With that, he gently pushed her so that she was lying on the couch. Straddling her with his legs, he directed his lips to the spot right above her collarbone.

A clearing of a throat disrupted them far too soon for their liking and Steve lifted his head to spot his mother, dressed in a tight fitting black dress and high heels, coming down the stairs. Doris laughed uncomfortably. "I am so sorry. Can you just help me with this?"

Catherine pushed Steve off of her and got to her feet. "Yeah. Doris, you look amazing!"

"Thank you," Doris replied, smiling at her future daughter-in-law.

"What's the occasion?" Catherine asked, stepping behind Doris to look at the clasp of the necklace she had obviously been struggling with.

"I have a date."

Steve, who had been sitting on the couch, jerked his head up at that. Did he really just hear his mother say that she had a date? "I'm sorry. What?"

Hearing the doorbell ring, Doris commented, "That's probably him."

Steve, who had a sneaking suspicion about _who_ would be wining and dining his mother, stood up and moved over to the door. His suspicion was confirmed when he opened the door to spot Mick, wearing a suit and holding a bouquet of flowers, standing on the porch. He quickly closed the door which led to a knock from the other side. He opened it again, sticking his head out. "What are you doing here?"

"You asked me to keep an eye on your mother," Mick reminded him.

"An eye," Steve reminded him, continuing to whisper loudly. "_Not _a hand, not any other part of your body."

"At my age, they are all mothers or grandmothers. We've got chemistry."

At that moment, the door was pulled open further and Doris stepped up beside her son. Taking in the flowers that Mick is holding, she said, "Anthuriums! They are so beautiful. Thank you." She took the bouquet from Mick and started the introductions. "This is Catherine, my future daughter-in-law. Catherine, this is Mick.

"Hi," Mick greeted, shaking Catherine's hand. "How do you do?"

"And, I think you already know Steve," Doris continued, enjoying it when both men squirmed uncomfortably. "I'll just go put these in water. You want to go wait in the car?"

"Yeah," Mick returned, wondering how this date would go now that Doris knew he had been asked to keep tabs on her.

"Oh, Doris, let me take them," Catherine offered. She took the bouquet from Doris before turning and heading into the kitchen.

Alex showed up then, coming up the front walk with a backpack swung over one shoulder. Reaching the front door, she gave Mick a strange look. Then, taking in the sight of her grandmother, she complimented, "Doris, you look really nice."

"Thank you," Doris returned, giving the teenager a smile. "Mick, this is Alex."

"Alex?" Mick asked, looking at Steve for confirmation. "As in, Alexandra? Nice to see you again."

Catching the confused look from his daughter, Steve explained, "You met Mick once when you were little."

"Well, shall we head out?" Doris asked, looking at Mick.

Alex's mouth dropped open at that. "You have a date with the creepy guy from the grocery store?"

Steve and Doris both exclaimed, "Alex!"

"Seriously?" Alex asked, shaking her head in disbelief. "Unbelievable," she muttered under her breath. Looking back at her grandmother, she added, "You do realize that you are still wearing your wedding ring, right?" With that, she pushed past all of them and moved into the house.

"Sorry," Steve said to Mick. "About that. She –"

Mick interrupted him, choosing to go for some humor. "Is yours?" he said, finishing Steve's thought for him. The teenager's lack of a filter had reminded him of some past experiences with Steve. "Have a good night," he finished, stepping back onto the porch to wait for Doris.

Doris reached around her son, grabbing her purse off of the end table. "You know, if you wanted to know what I was up to all you had to do was ask." She then patted Steve's cheek and kissed it.

After Doris left, closing the door behind her, Steve just stood there with his hands in his pockets. Damn his mother for having been an agent with the CIA!

"You hired creepy guy to spy on her?" Alex's question caused Steve to turn around and look at her. She was sitting on the couch, holding his open MRE and sticking a mouthful of beef stew in her mouth.

"His name is Mick, _not_ 'creepy guy'," he scolded before stepping over to the couch. "That's my dinner."

Alex looked up at him, grinning as she put the utensil back into the MRE bag to grab more of the food. "Not anymore."

Steve shook his head, stepping around the coffee table to sit down next to his daughter. "Hey, Cath!," he shouted. "Can you bring another MRE out here when you come?"

Not even a minute later, Catherine stepped out of the kitchen, with a sealed bag of MRE in one hand. She stopped in place to take in the sight of Alex greedily chowing down on Steve's beef stew. "Really?" she asked, shaking her head at them. "You too?"

"What?" Alex asked, her mouth full of food.

"A bowl of ragu is sitting right there," Catherine pointed out as she sat down on the other side of Alex. Handing Steve the new MRE, she continued, "and you choose the beef stew MRE."

Alex shrugged. "I missed lunch today. I'll eat some ragu when I'm done with this." She feigned a glare at her dad. "Dad pretty much ate all of this anyway. He didn't even save the oatmeal cookie or the toaster pastry that comes with it."

"How do you know what comes in –"

Alex interrupted her dad. "Sometimes when you were deployed and Grandpa was visiting me, he would go to the commissary on base and buy us MRE's to eat." She shrugged. "I wished I was having dinner with you and that was the best that he could do at the time"

"Here," Steve said, spilling the contents of his Spaghetti with Meat Sauce MRE bag onto the table. "This comes with an oatmeal cookie, too." He handed that to her before adding, "And that orange beverage drink mix you like."

"Thanks!" Alex exclaimed, setting down the bag of beef stew. She reached down for her backpack, which was on the floor at her feet, and opened it, pulling out an unopened bottle of water. She then reached for the beverage bag that had been included in the MRE set. After opening the drink mix into the bag, he opened the bottle of water, pouring water into the bag until it reached the line indicated on the bag.

"You could have just poured the mix into your bottle," Catherine observed.

"If you're gonna eat an MRE, you gotta do it right," Alex told her.

Looking over his daughter's hunched over form, Steve smiled at Catherine. "That's my girl!" He then turned his attention back to the Spaghetti MRE, pouring water into the heating bag, activating the chemical reaction to heat the food, leaning the now hot bag against his canteen. Relaxing back against the couch as he waited the few minutes for his food to heat, he asked his daughter, "So why didn't you have lunch?"

Alex shrugged. "Forgot to." She took a drink from the beverage bag, tipping it back expertly so all of the liquid made its way into her mouth. "With the show starting tomorrow, some of us ended up meeting at lunch to go over lines and everything."

"I thought that's why you had a final after school rehearsal," Catherine commented.

"Yeah," Alex agreed, "we did." She shrugged again. "Guess we were just too excited to remember to eat." After roughly two months of rehearsing, tomorrow night was _finally_ opening night for the musical. "You are going to be there, right?"

"Of course I will," Steve assured her. He had already told the Governor that he needed tomorrow night off. Even if they caught a new case tomorrow, his team already knew that he would be leaving them for a couple of hours to attend Alex's musical. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Same here," Catherine told the teenager. She had actually requested two days of leave to make sure that she wouldn't be called to work during the middle of the show. "Can't wait to see it!"

* * *

**A/N: The muse is slowly starting to return. Let me know what you think. Mahalo!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: So I am toying with the idea of creating a prequel to the MFS series, something along the lines of MFS: The Early Years. Ideas? Thoughts? Would you be interested or not? There's not a guarantee it will happen but my muse has been teasing me with some plot ideas…**

**I also want to take a moment to recommend a new story written by JM Reagan. It's titled "Aftermath" and details Steve's journey with PTSD. Only one chapter has been published so far but it's going to be great. Please consider checking it out and letting her know what you think about it. Thanks!**

**Warning: This chapter references Episode 15 (Hookman). Yes, I do realize that the last chapter referenced Episode 16 but please forgive me for exercising poetic license to swap the episodes in my story. Also, part of this chapter talks about vomiting – if you get sick just reading about it… read at your own risk. **

**Thank you to:**

**Pinkphoenix1985 – so sorry RL is crappy but glad to know that this little crazy story is so soothing to your soul. Thanks for taking the time to review!**

**Sunny irish – Yeah, Doris wearing the wedding ring pisses me off, too. grrr…. Thanks for reading!**

** 92 – Welcome to this story! Every time someone tells me they have spent a whole day reading this story, getting caught up, it simply amazes me! Thank you so much!**

**JM Reagan – Thank you! Haha, "The Over-Reaction King!" Love it! **

**Ncis42 – Thank you! Josh has a special place in my heart too ;)**

**Homeybadger123 – Thank you so much for your review. I agree – both Kono and Catherine are really good role models for Alex. She's always needed some strong women to look up to and learn from and she finally has that. Yes, I am Active Duty military. Thank you so much for your support. **

**Angel – Yep, Steve is very protective of his daughter, but at least he acknowledged that he had over-reacted. I do plan on doing the roller derby episode. Glad you are still enjoying the story. Thanks for reviewing!**

**Tessab – You're welcome, lol. Overprotective Steve is great, isn't he? Steve certainly does have his hands full… just wait until Alex turns 16! Haha! Glad you are still enjoying this story. Thanks!**

**Francis2 – Thanks for your review! **

**Gear's Girl – Thank you!**

**FicreaderT – Thank you! **

**AnonGuest – I am so sorry… I thought I had posted the spoiler warning but it turns out I didn't **** Part of that was from Episode 16. I truly am sorry about that. Lol, Steve does need a Gibbs head slap sometimes, doesn't he? Thanks for reading!**

**Suninthenightsky – Hope you enjoy the Les Mis part in this chapter. Thanks again for reading/reviewing!**

**Rolodexthoughts – I love Josh and Alex, too! Thanks for reading!**

* * *

Ever since the curtain had gone up, Steve's eyes had been riveted to the stage. Josh, having been wonderfully transformed into prisoner 24601, had captured the attention of the entire audience from the moment he had opened his mouth to sing the opening number. Steve had been blown away by not only Josh but the rest of the cast and crew as well. In addition to the amazing musical talent of the cast members, the set design, costumes and makeup had also been amazingly well done; Steve actually felt like he had been transported back to late 18th century France. He had been so captivated by the student performers that he had not even recognized his own daughter when she, having been in a group with other female actresses, had first appeared on stage.

His eyes had tracked her every movement on the stage; his ears had been tuned to her voice. The emotions on her face as she performed had really struck a chord with him. It was as if she really _was_ Fantine. He could hear the desperation in her voice every time she mentioned her daughter, Cosette, and he could see the anguish in her eyes when she had been thrown out onto the streets by her employer. He had just about cried out when he had watched her be forcefully shoved into a chair as forceps were jammed into her mouth by a man interested in extracting teeth. Having been totally in character, Alex had resisted while releasing a struggled cry during the tooth extraction; it had almost made Steve sick to his stomach to watch. The last scene that he and the rest of the audience had watched was the character of Fantine being approached by a French soldier, who had been holding a gold coin, and then the two had wandered off stage.

Having seen the recent movie version of this musical, Steve knew what scene was supposed to be occurring behind the scenes. The agony of the build up to the next scene – Alex's big solo performance – must have been bothering him more than he had realized; he didn't acknowledge when Catherine extracted her hand from underneath his and started rubbing where he had held a death grip on it. He thought knowing what was happening off screen would have prepared him for what was coming. Yet, when the music started to play and two screens on the stage were parted to reveal Alex's character, looking very destitute, wearing a dirty and slightly torn dress with bruises on her arms from the rough encounter, a mixture of emotions in her eyes – shame at selling her body and depression over what her life had become – Steve had to remind himself that the girl on stage was Fantine and _not_ Alexandra Isabelle McGarrett.

_There was a time when men were kind_

_When their voices were soft_

_And their words inviting_

At the sound of hearing his daughter's voice for practically the first time – earlier in the show, she had sung with others – Steve's eyes filled with tears. It was more than the fact that her voice was beautiful; the raw emotion in her voice was what got to him. Then again, although Alex's life did not resemble Fantine's at all, she still had experienced men who were full of anger and who were prone to committing violent acts. The show director really had done a great job in selecting Alex for the role of Fantine; it was the perfect choice.

_There was a time when love was blind_

_And the world a song_

_And the song was exciting_

_There was a time_

_Then it all went wrong_

Steve could not tear his eyes away from his daughter. If he had dared to steal a glance around the auditorium, he would have seen that everyone in the audience was captivated by his little girl. If he had allowed a small part of himself to listen for other sounds, he would have heard nothing but his daughter's voice. The stage was hers and all eyes were on her.

On stage, Alex stood up from the wooden, ratty, makeshift bed where the last "hidden" scene had taken place. As she had rehearsed hundreds of times over the last few months, she spotted the X on the opposite end of the stage floor and slowly, ever so slowly, made her way over to it, continuing to sing as she did.

_I dreamed a dream in time gone by_

_When hope was high_

_And life worth living_

_I dreamed that love would never die_

_I dreamed that God would be forgiving_

She reached the X and stood there for a few seconds. Then, as had been previously choreographed, she turned her head to look over the crowd into the distance, as if looking back on the life she used to have; the life that had long since fallen out of her grasp and which she would never have again.

_Then I was young and unafraid_

_And dreams were made and used and wasted_

_There was no ransom to be paid_

_No song unsung, no wine untasted_

_But the tigers come at night_

_With their voices soft as thunder_

_As they tear your hope apart_

_As they turn your dream to shame_

Sitting in the front row of the auditorium – the first two rows had been reserved for the families of cast members – afforded Steve the ability to spot the tear that rolled down his daughter's face as she continued to sing. If anyone ended up critiquing this show, the one thing they could not legitimately express was that Alex had not been in character. If any of the cast members were in character, Alex and Josh had mastered that to a T.

_He slept a summer by my side_

_He filled my days with endless wonder_

Alex's voice grew louder, angrier. The raw emotion of having been used and abused by her lover came streaming through her crescendo.

_He took my childhood in his stride_

_But he was gone when autumn came_

_And still I dream he'll come to me_

_That we will live the years together_

_But there are dreams that cannot be_

_And there are storms we cannot weather_

Alex started gasping for breath as she continued, her emotions spilling forth just as Fantine's had in the latest movie adaption.

_I had a dream my life would be_

_So different from this hell I'm living_

By now, tears were freely flowing down Alex's cheeks. Steve was grateful for the darkened auditorium since his own eyes were brimmed with tears. Had he stolen a glance at Catherine, he would have seen that she had already given into the tears and, having been deeply touched by Fantine's plight, was silently sobbing.

_So different now from what it seemed_

_Now life has killed the dream I dreamed_

As that last note faded into a decrescendo, the spotlight dimmed, leaving Alex, and the stage, in absolute darkness.

* * *

With a loud sigh, Alex rolled over onto on her back and then sat upright turning so her legs were dangling off the side of the bed. She took another look at the two pictures in her hand and then stood up. "C'mon, Anchor." She walked over to her bedroom door and opened it, looking down the hall to see if the door to her dad and Catherine's room was opened or closed. The door was ajar, with different flashes of light spotted through the opening; they must be watching TV. She headed down the hallway with the ever faithful, now one year old, black Lab at her heels. Reaching the door, she knocked.

"You can come in."

Alex pushed open the door at the sound of her dad's softened voice. "Sorry," she whispered, taking in the sight of Catherine, rolled onto her side and sleeping. "I didn't know she was asleep. I –"

"It's okay," Steve assured her, gesturing for her to come further into the room. "Come on." Alex stepped into the room, moving around to her dad's side of the bed as Anchor claimed a spot on the floor near the door. She climbed into the bed, half sitting next to Steve, sharing his pillow with him. "Can't sleep?"

Alex shook her head but didn't verbally answer him. Her eyes were focused on the TV which was still airing the late night local news. Steve just watched her, his eyes flitting downward to spot the item she was clutching with the fingers of her left hand, and then back up to her face. After a few minutes, she reached over and took the remote out of his hand, flipping the channels until she found ESPN. He listened to the sportscaster discussing the upcoming Pro Bowl, scheduled to take place, as it did every year, two weeks from now in Honolulu. His eyes drifted back to his daughter's face; the slight clenching of her jaw confirmed his suspicions. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," Steve told her, not believing her. He relaxed his body some more, turning his attention away from her, deciding to act nonchalant about the whole thing. He watched the sports broadcast with her for a few minutes before saying, "You were kinda quiet at dinner." After the show that evening, the three of them had gone out to dinner with the Sullivan's and three other families. Upon their arrival at the restaurant, Alex and the other teens had all chatted casually, laughing and talking excitedly about how well their opening show had gone. However, after awhile Steve had noticed that Alex had become less talkative with a somewhat distant look in her eyes. Even after they had left the restaurant and had been on their way home, she hadn't said very much to either of them. It had only been when Alyssa had called her, that Alex had started talking again.

Alex tore her eyes from the television set to look at him. "Doing the show kinda wears you out." She shrugged. "I know I'm not on the stage as much as the other characters, especially Josh's, but my part… it's… it kinda drains me out emotionally."

Steve nodded in understanding. "I don't know if Catherine wants you to know this or not but she told me that your solo performance made her cry."

"Oh." Alex didn't know what to make of that.

Steve wrapped his arm around his daughter's shoulders. "You even brought some tears to my eyes."

"I did?" That definitely had not been something she had expected to hear. Sure, she had been around in the past when her Dad had given into tears but to cry while watching a musical? That did not sound like her dad at all. "Why?"

"When you first told me about the musical," Steve started to explain, "I knew I'd be in for a surprise the first time I heard you sing." He gave her a smile that reached his eyes. "But I honestly had no idea that I would be as 'wowed' as I was. I don't really know how to describe it other than to say that you were incredible."

"I'm not that good of a singer," Alex argued. "Pualani, the girl who played Cosette, is such a better singer."

"You are still good, Alex," Steve told her. "Having a good voice is not something you inherited in your genetic code so to hear you sing the way you did…" he trailed off. Neither he nor Cindy could ever sing a note. Of course, that hadn't kept either of them from singing to each other back in those days when they had been young and in love. With the two of them as her parents, it had been really surprising to hear Alex sing as well as she had. "It wasn't just your voice though. It was the raw emotion in it."

"Yeah," Alex muttered, nodding. She certainly had cried a lot during the solo performance. Of that there could never be any doubt.

"About that –"

"My job as playing Fantine is to make the audience understand her plight and everything she had been through."

Alex's answer was quick; a little too quick for his liking. He sensed there was more to it but he decided to tread softly. "Well, you were extremely successful in doing that." He watched as she cast her eyes downward, her eyes staring at the item in her hand, which, due to it being turned over, he could not tell what it was. "How were you able to get yourself so into the character?"

Alex shrugged, swallowing the lump in her throat, before deciding to just be honest with him. "Part of it is just imagining myself in her shoes – imagining what I would feel like if I had to send my child away because I couldn't take care of her and imagining what I would feel like if I had lost my job and been forced to sell my teeth and hair and body just for some money – but the other part…" She trailed off, blinking away the moisture in her eyes before looking at him again. "The other part was me channeling all of the similar negative emotions I have felt over the last five or so years." _Guilt; disgust; shame; lost; confused; anger; loneliness; all things I still feel more often than I probably should. _

"Alex –"

"Are you going to come to tomorrow's show?"

The sudden question caught him off guard and it took a few moments to respond. "I'm going to try. Depends on work, you know that."

Alex nodded as her fingers started to tap nervously on her legs. "Yeah. I just – everyone says the opening show is the hardest one but I – I think tomorrow might be worse for me and I – well, I understand that you might not be able to make it."

Steve just looked at her for a few moments. It had been a struggle for him the last year or so, especially the last few months, watching her become more independent with every passing day. The little girl that used to rely on him for so much now needed him less and less. Knowing that even though she didn't just specifically state it, Alex's comment had basically just admitted to needing him and that made him feel good. He would do everything he could to make sure he could attend her show tomorrow night. "Tomorrow," he finally repeated before calling to mind tomorrow's date. Had it really been a year already? "Alex –"

Alex interrupted him. "Tomorrow's…"

Steve finished her thought for her. "One year since your mom died."

A small smile appeared on Alex's face; relief at his having remembered. "Yeah," she confirmed, looking down at her hand. She turned the picture over and showed it to her dad. "I found this in one of the boxes that David had sent me," she explained, brushing a gentle finger over her mom's sun-kissed face. "I'd never seen it before." The picture showed her mother, with a wide smile on her face, standing on the beach in a two-piece bikini and, next to her, was a turquoise colored surfboard sticking up out of the sand. Alex looked up at him again. "She looks so happy."

A blast from the past. That was the only thing Steve could think of when he saw the picture that his daughter handed him. _Summer 1993: South Carlsbad State Beach_. Steve stared at it for several minutes, not capable of speaking as a flash flood of memories filled his mind. Clearing his throat, he finally spoke, "I remember this; I was the one who took this photo. It was a couple of weeks after we had first met."

They had been so lost in their conversation that neither of them had noticed that Catherine had woken up, turned over and was now facing them. She had been listening to their conversation for the last ten minutes or so and, when they had mentioned that Cindy had died one year ago tomorrow, it had just about broken her heart to hear the underlying pain in both of their voices. Even though Cindy had been a lousy excuse of a mother for the last few years of her life, she had not always been that way. Even if she had been a neglectful, self-centered mother from the moment she had given birth to her daughter, she was still, and always would be, Alex's mother; Cindy was still the first woman that Steve had ever loved.

"Did you ever hear the story about how your parents met?" Catherine saw that her question startled both of the McGarrett's. When Alex finally responded, it was with a simple shake of her head. Catherine gave both of them a smile and then scooted up on the mattress so that her head was next to Steve's. "Maybe your Dad can tell you."

"I don't…" Alex started to say, a look of concern in her eyes. "I mean, I'd like for him to tell me but –"

"But what, Honey?"

"I shouldn't…" she trailed off, hesitating before starting again. "It's not fair to you," she finally said, dropping her voice to just above a whisper.

"Hey," Catherine said, reaching across Steve to place her fingers under Alex's chin. Lifting her chin until Alex looked at her, she continued, "Just because you call me 'Mom' now doesn't mean your mother is erased from memory. Cindy will always be your mother, Alex, and you should never feel afraid to talk about her around me. It doesn't hurt me when you want to talk about her. She's your mom."

Alex nodded but her eyes suggested that she still wasn't sure. Catherine glanced up at Steve, whose attention was back on the picture. "Tell you what," she said, sitting completely upright in the bed. "How about I go sleep in your room for the rest of the night and you stay in here with your dad to talk?"

Steve gave her a grateful smile before asking his daughter, "Any other pictures you want to know the story about?"

Alex nodded. "A couple."

Steve nodded towards the bedroom door. "Go get 'em." Once Alex had left, he turned to grab Catherine's hand before she got out of the bed. He pulled her towards him until she was practically lying on top of him. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Thank you." He reached his hands to her cheeks and pushed the hair away from her face. "It really means a lot to me that you're okay with her talking about Cindy."

"I would never get upset with her for talking about her mother, Steve," Catherine replied, looking down at him. "Just like I would never get upset with you for telling Alex about when you fell in love with her mother."

Steve just sighed as his hands moved down to rest on her lower back.

"Hey," she said, stroking a thumb over the stubble on his jaw line. "She was your first love; she gave you your daughter." She gave into a laugh. "Now, if you start comparing me to her on a daily basis then I'll probably get upset, but it doesn't bother me that you two talk about her every once in awhile. Alex needs to talk about her." She kissed him quickly. "And so do you."

* * *

"Hey," Steve greeted as he closed the front door behind him and spotted a ragged looking Catherine coming down the stairs with a pile of soiled sheets and clothes in her hands. "Let me," he offered, reaching to take them out of her hands.

"I've got them," she insisted, lightly brushing him off. She had already stuck her hand in the vomit that covered the items in her hands. There was no point in him also becoming contaminated. "The kids are out on the balcony." She was trying to air the house out for a little bit. "Maybe you can convince them to try to eat something. Toast maybe?"

"Okay," he replied as he started to climb the stairs. He looked into the bathroom to spot a can of Lysol and a sponge on the sink. Two towels were thrown on the floor; he made a mental note to pick those up as soon as he was done checking on the kids. He stepped into his daughter's room; the smell of sickness in the air told him that the room had yet to be cleaned. Not that he could blame Catherine for that as she'd been busy ever since she got the phone call from Maika'I loa Academy that morning.

During breakfast that morning, Alex had complained about not feeling well. Yet with nothing but a slight stomachache – she had not had a fever or any other symptoms – they had taken her to school. Then, not even an hour later, the school had contacted Catherine – Steve had been in the middle of their case involving a sniper killing cops, including his Dad's best friend Ben Keoki, and had missed their initial phone call – stating that Alex was in the nurse's office, puking into a bucket. By the time she had gotten to the school – it had taken an hour to get approval from her CO to use the rest of the day as a sick day and then to drive to the school – she had received a call from Jason, who was currently on the Big Island for one of his unit's pre-deployment exercises, asking if she could pick Josh up from school because he, too, was sick. When Catherine had arrived at the school, she discovered the nurse's office to be full with nearly two dozen kids who had become sick. From a phone conversation they had had half an hour ago as he was leaving the office, Steve knew that Catherine had whisked the teenagers to the house as quickly as she could – she had been forced to stop twice so that one or both of them could throw up – and she had pretty much been running up and down the stairs, splitting her time between Alex upstairs and Josh downstairs, all day without much of a break.

Steve stepped onto the balcony where both teens were sitting in the patio chairs, each one holding a small trash can on their lap. He stepped around his daughter's chair, leaning down and kissing her on the forehead. "Hey, Sweetheart."

"Hi, Dad," Alex said weakly.

"Hi, Josh," Steve greeted, turning to look at the boy.

"Hi, Mr. McGarrett," Josh greeted, his voice just as weak as Alex's had been and his face just as pale.

"Feeling any better?" His question was answered when Josh started retching into the trash can he was holding. Steve glanced at his daughter, recognizing her body language for what it was – she had always been one of those kids who would puke if she saw or heard someone else doing it – and then _she_ was also puking into her trash can. "Guess not."

"Sorry, Sir," Josh apologized. "Not sure I'm ready to go to the Arronson's." TJ Arronson was a classmate and friend of Sam's, whose father worked in the same unit as their dad. As soon as the last minute orders had come down for the three week exercise on the big island, Mrs. Arronson had offered to keep both Sam and Josh throughout the duration of the exercise. He and Sam had only been staying with them for two days now.

Steve nodded in agreement. "I actually just got off the phone with your Dad and we agreed that, as long as you are sick, you will be staying here with us." It didn't seem very fair to drive Josh to the Arronson's, only to have him infect everyone there with the apparent stomach bug. Especially not when the McGarrett household was already infected.

"Thank you, Sir," Josh said, groaning at the cramping in his stomach as Alex stood up and hurriedly fled into the house. "I'm glad I haven't started with _that_."

* * *

"So the _entire_ cast is sick?" Steve asked Catherine, wanting confirmation of what Josh had told him. He joined her in the laundry room with another shirt of Alex's and the two towels from the bathroom.

"Pretty much, yeah," Catherine confirmed, taking the soiled items from him and tossing them onto the pile on the floor. "They've already gone ahead and cancelled the shows scheduled for the weekend."

Steve stood behind her and started massing her shoulders. "I don't think either of them is going to be able to even attempt to eat anything at this point." He placed a kiss on the side of her head. "How about we order Japanese takeout for us?"

Catherine sighed, thinking about the phone call she had just received prior to him coming downstairs. She turned so she was facing him. "As great as that sounds, it's going to have to wait until later." He raised an eyebrow in question. "The school nurse called and recommended we take the kids to the ER. Apparently the student that got sick on Monday afternoon was just confirmed as having an _e. coli _infection. With the entire cast and some of their family members being sick with the same symptoms, it's a possibility they all have it. I guess the health department is now looking at the restaurant where they all ate at Sunday night." She shrugged. "Even if they don't have _e. coli_ they could probably use some IV fluids anyway."

"Damn," Steve replied. He had made it to Alex's second show, the one that had taken place on the one year anniversary of Cindy's death, but had not been able to go to dinner afterwards with the rest of the cast and their families. With Jason having left that morning, Alex and Josh had been taken to the restaurant by a fellow cast member's parents. That had been three days ago. "Okay, well, I can take them. You've had a busy day; stay here and relax."

Catherine shook her head. "Just let me change my clothes real quick and I'll go with you." When he opened his mouth to argue, she continued, "I'm going with you, Steve, okay? You've had a busy day, too." The case his team was working on was a tough one. A sniper was taking out HPD cops. Not only had Steve known all of the cops who had been murdered – they had worked with his father – but the deadly bullets had also been engraved with each respective cop's name.

Catherine wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. "We'll go take care of them together and then tonight maybe we can help each other de-stress."

Steve pulled her hips closer to his body, grinning lasciviously at her. "I like the way you think, Lieutenant."

* * *

**A/N: The song that Alex sings is called "I Dreamed A Dream". The music is by ****Claude-Michel Schönberg****, with orchestrations by ****John Cameron****. The English lyrics are by ****Herbert Kretzmer****, based on the original French ****libretto**** by ****Alain Boublil**** from the original French production. It was first published in 1980 (French) and the first English-language production opened in October 1985. **

**As always, please read and review. If I get 14 reviews on this chapter, my average number of reviews will increase to 13 per chapter. Thanks! **

…**Remember to check out JM Reagan's story "Aftermath". Mahalo! **


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews on the last chapter! **** :-) Only ten more and this part will reach 300 reviews! This chapter should answer some of the questions you all asked in your reviews for chapter 22. This one's not as long as normal but you can blame that on my muse :/**

**Warning: This chapter refers to the ending of episode 3.15 (Hookman). And, yes, I did cry while writing part of this…**

* * *

Steve pushed open the door of his bedroom, opening his mouth to speak but closing it before saying a single word when he saw that Catherine was sitting in their bed, talking on the phone. Returning the smile she gave him, he stepped over to the dresser. He pulled a pair of shorts out of the drawer and headed off to the bathroom, leaving Catherine to finish her conversation. He took a Navy shower and then brushed his teeth before making another quick check on the teens. Stepping back into his bedroom, he quietly closed the door, making sure to lock it behind him. He smiled again at Catherine and stepped over towards the bed.

"Try to get some sleep," Catherine said to the person on the phone. "And I hope you feel better soon." She listened for a few seconds. "I will. Love you too." She ended the call, setting her cell phone down on the nightstand. "Hey," she greeted, placing a soft kiss on Steve's lips as he sat down next to her.

"Hey," he returned, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close. "Finally asleep."

"Both of them?" Steve's nod was the confirmation she needed. "Good." They had gotten home about two hours ago after spending several hours in the ER. At the hospital, the teens had each been hooked up to IV fluids and given antibiotics. Stool samples had been sent to the lab and the results were expected within twenty-four to forty-eight hours. They had stopped once on the way home to empty tubs full of vomit and, as soon as they had gotten home, the kids had each made a mad dash for one of the bathrooms. Suffice it to say, tomorrow morning Catherine, who would be taking the day off from work, would banish the kids to the balcony or lanai while she aired out and scrubbed the house with Lysol.

She grabbed his hand, absentmindedly rubbing the spot where his wedding band would one day rest, and changed the topic. "That was my Mom."

Steve glanced at the clock, doing the math in his head. "Why is she up in the middle of the night?"

"Her sciatica is acting up again," she answered. "But that's not why she called."

"Oh."

Catherine smiled at him. "She wants to know what date we've picked."

"Oh," he repeated, curious about what Catherine had told her mother as they had yet to pick a date for their wedding. "What'd you tell her?"

"That we hadn't decided yet," she answered, stroking the back of his hand. "But that we were considering the beginning of August."

"You still want an August wedding?" The last time they had actually discussed wedding plans had been well over a week ago.

Catherine nodded her response before asking, "You don't?"

"I don't care," he answered honestly. He recognized the brief flicker of hurt in Catherine's eyes. "I'm sorry but I don't." He placed a kiss to her temple. "I'm okay with getting married whenever." He grinned at her. "All I want is for you to become my wife. I don't need some elaborate ceremony with our family and friends present. I mean, we can go visit Chaplain McHugh in the morning and have him perform the ceremony – just the two of us – for all I care." He kissed her, letting his lips linger on hers for awhile. He pulled away slightly so that their noses were still touching. "I love you and I just want to marry you."

Catherine returned his smile, loving that he no longer had any problems saying those three little words to her. It warmed her heart to know that he wanted to be married, that he wanted to be her husband. Yet, she only planned on getting married once and, like every woman she knew, she had been dreaming of her wedding day since she was a little girl. "So, are you saying you are totally opposed to having a ceremony?"

Steve shook his head, realizing his mistake. "No. I want you to have your dream wedding and I'll do whatever you need me to do to help you prepare for it." He kissed her again. "If you want to wait until August, that's fine with me."

"Well, August seems the most logical to me," Catherine told him, relaxing against him. "If Alex gets accepted to STEM, she'll be in Annapolis the third week of June." When Steve nodded in agreement, she continued, "Then, if we still decide to surprise her with the trip to Seattle, that will take us to right after Fourth of July. If we plan our wedding for, oh I don't know, the third or fourth of August, we will still have a month after we get back to finish planning if we need to."

Steve smiled. "The first weekend of August it is." He placed a quick kiss on her lips. "Wait. You do plan on getting married in Hawaii, right?"

Catherine laughed. "Of course, Sailor." She pulled him down so that he was lying on top of her. Her arms around his neck, she added, "And, just so you know, you _will_ be wearing your dress blues."

"Is that an order, Lieutenant?"

"You said you want me to have my dream wedding," she replied, laughing at him. "Even as a little girl my dream wedding involved me marrying a sailor who was wearing his dress blues."

"Well," he said, bringing his hands up to brush her hair off her face. "I guess I'll have to comply with your command then."

Catherine laughed before biting her lip and looking at him with a seductive look in her eye. "Right now, I'd like you to comply with my wish from earlier."

With a smirk on his face, he asked, "You mean de-stressing?" Without waiting for a response, he kissed her deeply, brushing his tongue against her lips until she granted him entrance. They spent the rest of the night in bed doing anything but sleep.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Alex asked Josh as they reclined in the chaise loungers on the lanai. It was Day Three of being sick and, a few minutes ago, Josh had hung up his cell phone after having a conversation with his dad. She had only heard Josh's side of the conversation but the terseness of his words suggested that something had been bothering him. After hanging up, he had resorted to absolute silence instead of continuing the conversation they had been having prior to the phone call. That only confirmed her suspicion that something was weighing heavily on his mind.

"Yeah," he muttered, his eyes focused on the waves as they came to shore in the backyard. He knew Alex didn't believe him – she could read him better than almost anyone – yet, when she didn't say anything to call him out on his fib, it reminded him of how grateful he was to have her as a friend. She was always so patient with him, giving him the time and space he needed before opening up to her. She never pressured him to talk and that, ultimately, was what propelled him _to_ talk to her about things. He sat there for a few minutes, just staring out at the water, thinking back to the conversation he had just had with his dad. Finally he sighed and then rolled over onto his side to look at her. "No," he admitted. "Not really."

Alex turned onto her left side to face him. "What's wrong?"

"Dad's deployment date got moved up."

"To when?"

"End of May," Josh said, releasing a loud sigh. His dad's unit had originally been scheduled to head to Afghanistan in the middle of July for a seven month deployment.

"Does that mean they'll be coming back sooner?" As much as it sucked that Mr. Sullivan would be leaving his boys sooner than planned, she wanted to hold onto the hope that there was a silver lining to be found somewhere.

Josh shook his head. "Still supposed to return some time in February or March."

"That sucks."

"Yeah," Josh agreed, nodding. "And to make it worse, my grandmother was admitted to the hospital yesterday. Now, my grandparents might not be able to come here and stay with us anymore."

Alex finished his train of thought for him. "Which means you would have to go back to the mainland during the deployment."

"Yeah," Josh answered, expelling a frustrated breath. "To my aunt's in El Paso." He grimaced as his stomach started to cramp and he moved his puke bucket in front of him in case the nausea turned into him actually throwing up for the first time in four hours. When the urge passed, he continued, "I _hate_ El Paso."

"Josh—"

"You know what's even worse though?" he asked, not waiting for a response before answering his own question. "The worst part is that this deployment really has me freaked out. My dad's been deployed before, even after my Mom left, but none of those ever scared me like this one does. And it's weird because, even though I'm scared shitless about this, I still want to follow in his footsteps and join the Army. I don't care about me being deployed at some point but… I just… I keep thinking the worst and I can't get my mind to think any differently. I've even had a couple of nightmares about it." He swiped a hand across his face before locking his eyes on Alex again. "Tell me it's going to be okay. Tell me I'm stupid for being scared that he won't come back."

"You're not stupid, Josh," Alex told him. "It's normal to be scared. I get scared every time my dad gets called to a case."

"Tell me it's going to be okay," Josh pleaded, reaching his arm out to grab a hold of her hand. "Tell me _he's_ going to be okay."

Alex shook her head, hating the terror in his voice. Josh and she were close, of that there was no doubt, but, even then, Josh wasn't one to readily admit his fears. On those rare occasions when he did admit his fears, the raw emotion in his voice, the way his desperation caused him to plead for her help, to plead for her to promise something that she couldn't… it just about broke her heart. "I can't." She expelled a breath. "I don't know if everything will be okay." She turned her hand over to lace her fingers with his. Squeezing his hand and keeping her gaze locked on his, she continued, "All I can tell you is that I'm not going anywhere. Whatever happens, good or bad, we'll get through it together."

They stared at each other, in absolute silence, for a whole minute. Then, with his eyes closed, Josh turned his head and pushed his face against the back of the chaise lounge chair. Understanding that he needed some time, Alex just sat there, letting their joined hands fall to rest in her lap, and looked out at the water. As she did, she allowed her mind to drift to thoughts about what it would be like if Josh left for the mainland during his dad's deployment and, when her mind started to adopt some of Josh's fear – terror over the possibilities of something bad happening to Mr. Sullivan – she forced herself to push that fear away and to think about other things.

A few minutes later, Josh's voice pulled her from her thoughts. "Guess that changes your opinion of me now," Josh joked. "I'm not strong Josh Sullivan anymore."

"Not having any fear isn't what makes you strong," Alex replied. "Being able to admit your fears is a huge part of having strength." She smiled at him. "Admitting your fears and moving beyond them is what makes you strong."

Josh returned her smile. "Well, you're the perfect example then."

Alex shook her head. "I'm not so sure."

"Why not?"

Alex shrugged. "I have a lot of fears, Josh, and sometimes I'm not confident that I can move past them."

"Ka'a'awa?"

Alex shook her head. Ka'a'awa Valley brought back bad memories, that was a given, but she had survived that place twice – once during her kidnapping and once during that camping trip with Grace's Aloha Girls troop – so, if she were to get stuck there again, she was fairly certain she would survive again. "I fear that my ankle will never heal properly, keeping me from running ever again and keeping me from attending the Naval Academy." She looked back at him, keeping eye contact as she continued, "I fear that, one day, Danny, Chin, or Kono or maybe Officer Lukela or some other HPD cop will show up at school or here at the house to tell me that my dad's been killed by some suspect." Her gaze drifted away, settling back on the distant sail boats in the water. "Some mornings I wake up sobbing because I fear that will be the day my dad decides to stop loving me."

Josh let go of her hand and raised his hand to her face. He tenderly stroked her cheek with his thumb until she looked at him. "That's never going to happen, Alex. Your dad loves you so much."

"Yeah," Alex acknowledged, raising a finger to her head. "I know that in here." She dropped her hand to her heart. "But in here…" she trailed off. "My mom broke me." She shrugged. "Sure, maybe she really did love me at the end, that last time I saw her, but she had stopped loving me for awhile and…"

* * *

In the kitchen, after having overheard Josh and Alex's conversation, Steve finally released the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. Having come home after they had closed the sniper case, his first stop had been in the kitchen to grab a glass of water and then he had planned on heading outside with the kids. As he had been standing at the sink, filling his glass with water, however, the teens' conversation had come drifting through the open window and, distracted, he had stood there listening to their every word. Everything that both kids had admitted to fearing had really struck a chord with him. No child should ever have to deal with the fear of losing their parents to violence but, unfortunately, being the children of military men, it was something they grew up experiencing. What bothered him even more than that though was one statement made by his daughter: she was terrified that one day she would be told he had been killed in the line of duty. That statement made him think, yet again, on how he had spent the past few hours. If the suspect in their sniper case had not been tracked down, it could have been very possible that Alex would, at this moment, be receiving that news that she feared so much. He, Steve, had been the next target, with his last name having been etched into the sniper's bullet casing.

After discovering the casing with his name on it, he had experienced the most eerie thing ever; having a conversation with his dead father had been the strangest experience in the world. Yet, he truly believed that it had really happened. That experience ultimately had been why he had headed home before even finishing some of the paperwork that still needed to be done. He had wanted to talk to his daughter, share with her what he had experienced, but her conversation with Josh had distracted him from doing that.

"Steve? Babe?" Catherine's voice reminded him that he was not alone in the kitchen and he turned to look at her. "You okay?"

He nodded, forcing himself to get rid of the mental image of Alex receiving the news of his death. "I'm gonna go check on them. You're headed back to work now?"

"Yeah," she answered, knowing he was on edge about something more than just the conversation they had overheard. She assumed it had to do with the case he had just wrapped up; she'd make it a point to ask him about it later. "I'm working until 1900 tonight," she reminded him.

Steve nodded. "Call me when you're leaving, okay?" He bent his head down and kissed her. "Love you." They walked out of the kitchen together and then parted ways with him heading to the lanai as Catherine headed for the front door.

"Hey, you two," he greeted, stepping onto the lanai. Anchor, who had been in the yard lifting his leg on a tree, must have heard his voice because the dog came running up to him, jumping on his leg in greeting. He petted the dog and then leaned down to kiss his daughter on the forehead. Good, her fever had broken. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," both kids replied.

"Good," Steve returned, noticing that they both looked remarkably better from last night. He nodded towards the bucket Josh was holding on his lap. "Still throwing up?"

Josh shook his head. "No, Sir. I haven't puked in about four hours."

"Good," Steve repeated. "What about you?"

"About six hours or so," Alex told him.

"And the other symptoms?"

"Still there," Alex answered. "But not as frequently."

"Same here," Josh piped in.

Steve nodded in understanding. "Since you're both doing a little better, what do you think about getting washed up and dressed? Then we can head to the store to pick up more crackers and Sprite before heading to my office for the rest of the afternoon." He would just be finishing up paperwork so it wouldn't be exciting for either of them but it would get them out of the house for awhile, which they both obviously needed. Maybe it would help take their minds off of things.

"Okay," Josh answered. "No offense, Sir, but it will be good to get away from your house for a little while."

Steve laughed. "None taken," he assured him. "Why don't you head to the shower? Maybe we can all be ready to leave in thirty or forty minutes?"

"Sounds good, Sir," Josh said, standing up and stretching before turning and heading into the house.

Once Josh left, Steve claimed that chair and turned his sights back to his daughter. He was surprised to see her looking at him, carefully studying him. "What?" he asked her.

"Are you okay?" she asked him. He looked very much like he had when he had returned from Japan after seeing his mother for the first time in twenty years. Only this time, he didn't have that haunted look in his eyes. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

Geez, his kid could read him so well sometimes. If only he could still read her the way he used to be able to. "Well," he started, "there is something I want to tell you. Something that happened a little bit ago." He shrugged. "You might think I'm crazy or imagining the whole thing but…" With that, he started telling her the story.

_He picked up the casing, turning it to read the engraving: McGarrett. He heard his teammates as they walked away, leaving him next to the sniper's body. He stood there, looking down at The Hookman's body, until movement drew his eyes upward. Standing in front of him, wearing his motorcycle helmet was Officer Keoki, his dad's old friend and first victim of the sniper. _

"_We just wanted to thank you, Steve," Keoki stated. _

_It was then that Steve noticed Officer Ookala, another of his dad's old friends and second victim of the sniper. He stood there stunned, not believing his eyes. Here they were, two dead men, now seemingly in the flesh, talking to him. He saw some movement out of his left eye; he nearly had a heart attack when he saw that it was his father standing there, wearing his HPD uniform. His father reached out his hand and he took it, shaking the hand of the man whose death had led him to becoming the head of Five-0. _

"_You're all I could have hoped for in a son, Steven," his father told him. "I am proud of you." _

"After that, he told me that he wasn't just proud of me for everything I've done as a SEAL or as a cop," Steve continued, trying to gauge what his daughter was thinking about this. "He said his proudest moment was the day I stood up in court at your custody hearing. He said all he ever hoped for was that I would fight for both of our – yours and my – happiness." He reached a hand over and wiped away the lone tear that fell down his daughter's cheek. "He said to tell you he loves you and that he hopes you keep talking to him every single day because he's still listening."

"Dad," Alex said, her voice breaking and the tears falling. "How…"

"I know," he said, "its crazy, isn't it?"

"No," she argued, "it's not." She swiped a hand across her eyes, wiping away the tears. "You're not crazy. It was real. _He_ was real. He had to be." She looked at him, her eyes seeking his confirmation. "He had to be real, right? How else would he know about the custody hearing and about you fighting for me?" She sniffled, another tear falling as her voice became softer. "If he wasn't real, why would he mention me talking to him? I'm the only one who knew that I still talk to him every day."

* * *

**A/N: If anyone is interested: STEM stands for Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics. The Naval Academy offers a one week course to high school students in the summers. If you would like more info on it, just google Navy STEM and the link on the Academy's website will show up. **

**I hope no one is disgruntled by the fact that I added to Steve's conversation with his father. It just seemed logical that, in my storyline, John would mention his granddaughter. **

**As always, please read and review. Let me know you favorite part(s)! Thanks!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: This chapter turned out entirely different than I intended. I actually took what was supposed to be 24 and moved it to the next chapter (25). That said, I really need to warn all of you, especially those of who may suffer or have suffered from PTSD, that the beginning of this chapter is VERY difficult to read. **

**Sunny irish – Sorry the last chapter was so emotional for you. I'm not really sure where most of those emotional scenes come from :/ I am very glad that you discovered this story over a year ago :-) Thanks, as always, for reading!**

**HBSpud – You have great insight into what it means to watch people ship off to war, not knowing if they will make it back. While I don't have any plans of killing Jason off, I do hope to show the difficulties of having a loved one overseas. Thank you for the well wishes for my own career – fortunately, I'm not currently with a deployable unit. **

**AnonGuest – Thank you! I'm always hesitant to post a conversation heavy chapter but I'm glad that it seemed to be well-received by the readers. Thanks again!**

**Angel – I think it's very telling about what type of relationship Josh and Alex have based on what they are able to share with one another. Glad you loved that little moment between them :-) Thanks for reading!**

**Yasmina9 – Thanks for reviewing! Glad you found it sweet but my apologies for making you emotional!**

**FicreaderT – lol, I actually agree with you that canon Catherine would not want a fancy wedding but I sort of elected to go a different route for one main reason: seeing Steve in his dress blues! What a fine specimen of a man! :-) Thank you so much for your in-depth review. I really love it when readers "digress" as you did. Thanks again!**

**Homeybadger123 – I know Catherine's role was minimal in the last episode but I hope a certain scene in this chapter makes up for it. Thanks so much for reading/reviewing!**

**Craftygirl11 – Yes, I'm intentionally skipping episodes every now and then, pretty much based on how my muse responded to each one. Glad you enjoyed the scene between Steve and his father. My apologies for not consistently responding to each one of you at the beginning of every chapter. I'd blame it on lack of time but I suppose that's not a sufficient excuse. I will try to do better! Thanks for commenting!**

**War sage – Thank you!**

**Francis2 – Thank you so much. When I do discuss what will happen to Josh and Sam during their father's deployment, I hope I don't disappoint. **

**JM Reagan – Thanks for the review! Sorry the last chapter was so emotional… just be forewarned that this one might trigger emotions of a different (negative) magnitude.**

**Rolodexthoughts – Thanks! I really love Josh and Alex too!**

* * *

_She always smelled him before she saw him. A heady combination: stale beer, cigarettes, body odor, breath that always smelled like pickles and onions. That had been the smell that had filled her nostrils the moment she stepped foot outside of the house. It was the smell that she last remembered before the blackness had consumed her only a day ago – or had it been two? Three? – and it had been the first thing she had smelled when she had opened her eyes again. That smell, his smell, permeated everything even before he stepped foot inside this hellhole she was stuck in. She was fairly certain that she would never be able to eat onions or pickles again when – _if_ – she ever got out of here._

_She heard him cough outside and then his voice, mumbled and low, talking to someone. She wondered what time it was and how long it had been since he had left, leaving her in the pitch black of the room. With the lone window being covered in something – foil? Black paper? – it had been impossible for her to keep track of the passage of time. She didn't know if it was the middle of the night or middle of the day. If only she could reach the window to peel away whatever covered it; the restraint around her ankle prohibited any movement bigger than a foot or two in any direction._

_She had been taken outside only twice but those quick trips to pee had only showed her that they were deep in the jungle. The black mask on his face – both of their faces – hadn't given her any clue to who they were or how they knew her name. It was just one big, scary mystery and all the time – minutes? Hours? Days? – they had left her alone had only added to her mental anguish. Was it true what he had said to her? Did her family not care about her? Were they even looking for her? Did they even care that she was gone? Those questions plagued her mind and they were worse than the physical injuries she had already endured._

_Her focus transitioned to the physical as she felt something crawl up her bare leg. Another creepy crawly worked its way up her arm. A shiver shot up her spine. It was big, whatever it was. She wiggled, trying to cause enough movement in her limbs so that the thing would choose to abandon its plan to bite her. She fought against the ankle restraint, her legs stiff and sore from lack of movement. She tried to move her arms, which were suspended above her head, but all that did was cause minor rope burn on her wrists._

_She willed herself to remain calm. She swallowed the taste of bile in her mouth. She told herself to breathe. She tightly closed her eyes, inhaled, and then slowly exhaled. The sense of nausea left her. She inhaled again before slowly exhaling. When she opened her eyes, she squinted at the sudden and shocking light that was coming from the open door. The smell of her own vomit, expelled hours or even days earlier, disappeared. In its wake came that smell which invoked fear, that smell which she had smelled a few minutes ago, that smell that told her something wicked was about to happen._

_She blinked, her eyes adjusting to the harsh brightness of the light. When the now familiar tall frame and broad shoulders filled the doorway, she couldn't help but release a gasp. The black mask was gone, his face no longer hidden. It wasn't the scar on his right cheek that frightened her but the dark look of something she couldn't recognize – it was something she had never seen before in her entire life – in his eyes. She cowered back against the wall when he stormed into the room, slamming the door closed behind him before he stomped over towards her, his boots tracking in mud as he did._

_She almost threw up as his vile stench grew stronger and stronger. She closed her eyes, preparing herself for another kick to her ribs, when he reached her. The loosening of the ropes allowed her arms to fall heavily to her lap. That feeling of relief was only momentary. The next thing she knew she was flat on her back and he was straddling her, his right arm holding her tied together wrists up above her head. It wasn't until he pulled her shorts down that she finally understood the look in his eyes. She screamed and started struggling, doing everything she could to wiggle free of him. The backhand to her face stung, causing her eyes to well up. She blinked away the tears, screaming for help when she heard the door to the cabin open. The man on top of her shifted his body slightly, giving her a good look towards the cabin door._

_He was here! He really did care! She started screaming for him, calling his name, but he just stood there, looking at her, watching the man unzip his jeans and pull his pants down. She screamed again, shouting for him to save her but all he did was stand there, watching her succumb to the abuse. Then he slowly backed out of the room, his eyes never leaving hers even as he ignored her pleas for help._

* * *

Steve woke up to the sound of his daughter screaming bloody murder. Grabbing his service weapon out of the nightstand, he sped out of the room, rushing down the hall and pushing his way into her bedroom.

"Daddy! Don't go!" Alex was shouting, sobbing, and thrashing about in her bed when he stepped into her room. "Daddy!" She screeched. "No! Don't go!"

Steve set his weapon down on her dresser, rushing over to her bed, sitting on the edge. Alex was still thrashing about on her bed, lost in the throes of a violent nightmare, tears streaming down her face and clothes completely soaked in her sweat. There was vomit on her bed sheets, whether that was still from the illness or a result of the nightmare he couldn't be sure. "Alex!" he said loudly. "Alexandra!" Alex kept screaming, pleading with him to not leave her. Despite several more attempts to rouse her from the nightmare, he failed and his little girl kept shouting for him; it broke his heart.

"Alex," Catherine said, her voice steady and gentle as she sat down on the other side of the terror-stricken girl. "Alex, Honey," Catherine repeated, placing a cautious yet strong hand on Alex's thrashing legs. The gesture worked. Alex, breathing heavily, jerked upright into a sitting position, her eyes wide in fear. "Your Dad's here, Honey," Catherine told her. "He's not leaving you."

"Here?" Alex asked, her chest heaving with heavy breaths and her eyes focused distantly on the gap between Catherine and Steve.

"Daddy's here, Sweetheart," Steve said, reaching out a hand and pushing away the hair that was stuck to her forehead. He retracted his hand when she flinched at his touch. "Alex, Sweetheart…"

"He left me," Alex cried, turning her head to look at Catherine. The poor child was still trapped in the place where her mind had taken her. "Dad let him hurt me."

Catherine saw Steve wince as Alex's comment. As if Alex having nightmares wasn't bad enough, now she was dreaming of Steve allowing someone to hurt her. "It was a dream, Honey."

"I'm right here, Alex," Steve told her, reaching a tentative hand out to lightly stroke her cheek. "Daddy's right here. You're safe."

"Boris," Alex started, her breathing slowly returning to normal. "He…" she trailed off, finally looking at her father. "You just watched. You didn't stop him."

"It was a nightmare, Alex," Steve told her again. "It wasn't real." He moved his hand up to push more hair off of her forehead.

"It felt so real," Alex needlessly admitted before falling into his embrace, giving into sobs all over again. It was clear from the way she buried her face in his bare chest and the tight hold she had on him that she was searching for comfort, for a feeling of security. He was more than content with giving those needs to her, even if it meant staying up the rest of the night with her, with her clinging to him out of fear.

"I know it did." He held onto her, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. "But I would die before I would ever let anyone hurt you." When Alex shuddered from crying so hard, Steve shared a look with Catherine and then held his daughter tighter.

"How about some water?" Catherine suggested. When Steve nodded in agreement, Catherine leaned over and kissed Alex on the head and then stood up. She headed to the doorway of the room, stopping in place when she spotted Josh sitting in the hallway right outside of the room. His back was against the wall and his legs were stretched out in front of him. When he looked up at her, she could see the concern and pain in his eyes. She pulled the bedroom door closed behind her. "Josh –"

"I would give anything to be the one who had to deal with those nightmares," he told her. "I would do anything to take that pain away from her." He shook his head, not bothering to blink away the tears in his eyes. "I…"

"C'mon, Honey," she said, nodding her head towards the stairs. "I'm getting some water for Alex but, after that, how about you and I chat for a bit? I don't think any of us will be going back to bed anytime soon."

* * *

"How is she?" Josh asked the very second that Catherine stepped back into the kitchen after taking a glass of water upstairs.

"Her dad's with her now," Catherine replied, not wanting to share with him that Alex was still upstairs shaking and crying in Steve's arms. "She'll be okay." When a whistling sound filled the room, she glanced at the stove, spotting the kettle on the back right burner.

Stepping over to the stove, Josh said, "I'm making tea. Want a cup?" He picked up the kettle by the handle, reaching over with his other hand to turn off the burner.

"You drink tea?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Josh answered, taking two steps to the right and beginning to pour the hot water into a navy blue mug that advertised for the Naval Academy. "Not very masculine of me, is it?" Turning to face her, he lifted the kettle a little. "Would you like a cup?"

Catherine nodded. "Yes, thank you." She waited until he had finished pouring the cups, watching as the tea bags drifted to just below the surface. When he handed her a cup, she smiled at him. "There's nothing wrong with you drinking tea."

Josh laughed as he leaned back against the counter. "Tell that to the guys on my football team. They equate tea drinking with old ladies and their cheerleader girlfriends."

"I know lots of men who drink tea," Catherine told him before taking a sip of the hot beverage. "Most of who are in the military; quite a few SEAL's actually." She gave into a small smile. "Steve, for one."

"Mr. McGarrett? Really?" Josh took a sip of his tea. "I get my tea drinking from my M…" he trailed off, wondering why his mother had yet again to cross his mind. The last couple of days of being sick had caused him to do a lot of thinking and, even though most of those thoughts had been about his dad's upcoming deployment, his mother had often been the subject of that thinking too. He had talked to Alex about some of those thoughts but others he had kept pretty close to his chest, not ready to share those with her. Or anyone for that matter. "Sorry," he finally said, looking back at Catherine. "My mom's been on my mind a lot lately."

"No need to apologize," she assured him before suggesting they go sit in the dining room. She followed the teenager into the dining room, taking a seat across the table from him, deciding to sit silently until Josh decided to talk to her. _If _he decided to talk to her at all which she felt like he would at some point.

He finally did, after nearly ten minutes. "It's not even that I wish my Mom was here, that I had a relationship with her, because I don't. Not the Mom that dropped us off at that police station and then drove away without looking back." He shrugged as his hands came to wrap around the tea cup on the table in front of him. "I just… I miss the old her. I wish I could have a conversation with the Mom that I used to have." He looked at Catherine, locking eyes with her from across the table. "I wish my Dad had a woman who loved him. I wish Sam and I had the kind of Mom that Alex has found in you."

"It seems perfectly logical to me that you miss having a Mom, that you miss being able to make good memories with her," Catherine replied. "If I were in your shoes, I'm sure that I would feel the same way and I know that Alex feels the same way about her mother."

"Yeah."

Focusing on one statement of his, Catherine asked, "If she were here now – the good mom that you remember – what would you talk to her about?"

"If she was still the good mom? The one who never left us? If none of the bad stuff ever happened?" He gave into an uneasy laugh. It was hard to imagine what life would be like if his mother had never abandoned them while his dad was deployed to Iraq. Or of how different his life might be. He thought about it for awhile, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Then, a smile slowly formed on his face.

"The first thing I'd do would be to ask her to sing to me. She had this incredible voice; she was an amazing musician. Then we would sit down and have a cup of tea and I'd talk to her about my dream to go to West Point and about my love for football. I'd talk to her about Sam and how he's such an amazing kid. I'd talk to her about my Dad and how I can only dream of becoming half the man that he is." He sat back in the chair, finally relaxing completely. "I'd talk to her about how I feel more at home in Hawaii than I ever did anywhere else we've lived. I'd talk to her about my friends." The smile grew on his face. "I'd ask her what she thinks about Alex and I'd tell her about the special bond Alex and I share. And how Alex is the best friend I have ever had and how I know in my heart that we will always be in each other's lives." He glanced uncomfortably at Catherine before his eyes drifted back down to stare at his cup. "I'd ask her about love: if it's when you literally feel pain when the other person is hurting; when you look at someone and you know that you would sacrifice everything for her."Josh looked up to find Catherine watching him. This time, when he continued talking, he maintained eye contact with her. "If you don't even really care that much about kissing her because all you want, which is the best part of your day, is just to be with her, next to her, even if she's mad at you." He shrugged, tapping his fingers on his tea cup. "I think that's what love is and I wonder what my Mom would say about that."

Catherine didn't respond right away. Did Josh really just express what she thought he did? If he had, was she supposed to take on the role of being that typical adult – like her father had been, for example – who believes that teenagers don't have any notion of what love is? Was it her responsibility to tell Josh that he was too young to be in love, especially with her soon-to-be daughter? Would it make her irresponsible to support his declaration of love? She was fairly certain that Steve would not be happy with her if she did make that decision.

As she considered what to say, she studied Josh, watching as he sipped his tea while looking past her into the backyard. Her dilemma was this: she could relate to everything Josh had just expressed about love. Everything he had expressed described exactly what she felt towards Steve. Every sing time he woke in the middle of the night, after his PTSD had triggered yet another nightmare, she literally felt pain in her body for the mental anguish he had been forced to deal with for so many years. Steve was the person that she would sacrifice everything, even her life, for; she'd even willingly put her own career on the line numerous times by giving him access to Naval Intel for several of his cases. Plus, even though sex with him was always the best she ever had, some of the best, most content moments of her life had been when it was just the two of them, lying on the beach or in a hammock, neither of them saying a word, just enjoying being alive together. In addition to that, she, who had never in a million years desired to have children of her own, had known that Steve was "the one" when she would find herself, even before their engagement, imagining what it would be like to bear his children and raise them with him. No other man had ever made her reconsider her thoughts on having kids.

Having many of the same thoughts about love as Josh did made it extremely hard for her to question what he had expressed feeling. Steve might get upset with her but, in this moment, Josh needed (and deserved) her to be honest with him. "I don't know what your Mom would say," she told him, giving him a smile. "But those things that you said… they are exactly how I feel about Steve."

Josh nodded. "It's probably what my Dad felt about my Mom at some point."

"I'm sure it was," Catherine told him. "And I'm sure your Mom felt it about your Dad, too."

Josh shrugged. "I don't know. I think if you really love someone like that you'll never be the one who chooses to walk away." He sighed before dropping his voice so low that Catherine had to strain to hear him. "Especially when you have kids and your spouse is deployed to a war zone."

"Josh –"

Just like that Josh changed gears, clearly having had enough of the sentimentalities. "Is Alex going to be okay? I think her nightmares are getting worse."

* * *

"Don't go!"

"You need to change out of those clothes, Sweetheart," Steve told her, his hand still on the doorknob of her bedroom door as he looked back at her. She finally stopped sobbing ten minutes ago but had refused to let go of him until a few minutes ago when he had convinced her that she needed to get out of her sweat soaked clothes and that they needed to change the sheets on her bed since those were covered in vomit. "I can't be in here when you change. Plus, I need to grab clean sheets out of the linen closet."

"But –"

"I'll leave the door cracked and you can talk to me the whole time you're changing, okay?"

Alex looked at him warily. "You promise you won't leave?"

"Alex –"

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise," he told her, mentally reminding himself to not get annoyed by her demands and clinginess. She needed the security of knowing he wasn't going anywhere; she needed to feel safe; she needed him. "Now, get changed and when you're done we'll swap out the sheets, okay?" When she nodded in agreement, he opened the door and stepped into the hallway, pulling the door behind him, making sure to leave it cracked just a bit. He took a few steps over to the hall linen closet, opening the door and searching for the second set of sheets that fit on his daughter's mattress.

"Dad?"

"I'm right here, Alex," he assured her, not at all surprised by the amount of panic already in her voice. She had been through one hell of a nightmare and it had terrified her more than any other nightmare ever had. Hell, even _he_ had been affected by the state he had found her in less than half an hour ago.

"Just making sure."

Steve found the sheets he was looking for and grabbed them off of the middle shelf. With them in hand, he closed the door and then leaned against the wall in the hallway. When he heard Alex call for him again, he said, "I'm still here, Sweetheart."

"I woke you and Mom up, didn't I?"

"It's okay, Sweetheart." He could finally hear the sound of her dresser drawers being opened. Then she called for him again.

"Dad?"

"Yes, Alex."

"Why is your gun in here?"

"Just in case, Sweetheart."

"Dad?" This time when she called his name her voice was muffled.

"Yes, Alex."

"In case what?"

He sighed quietly. _In case someone had snuck into your bedroom and was hurting you. In case I needed to kill the stupid son-of-a-bitch who even attempted to hurt you._ "Just in case… that's all." She didn't respond immediately after that and he was left leaning against the wall for several minutes. _What the hell is taking her so long?_

"Dad?"

"Yes, Alex."

"Boris is in jail, right?"

"Yes," he answered her. Boris had been in maximum security for over a year now since that day he had held a knife to Alex's throat. "And he can never hurt you again."

The door opened, revealing Alex who was now wearing one of his t-shirts and a pair of his shorts that looked like capris pants on her. "Promise?" She asked him, looking up at him with her big, dark blue, fear-filled eyes.

"Yes, Sweetheart," he told her, stepping forward. "He'll never hurt you again. I promise."

"You'll keep me safe?"

He nodded. "Always."

* * *

**A/N: Now that you've reached the end of this chapter, I will admit that I was very hesitant to leave part of Josh and Catherine's conversation in here. After sitting on it for awhile, my muse finally decided to let Josh have his way. **

**As always, please read and review. I truly appreciate every single one of you (those who review and those who don't). Knowing you all are looking forward to this story, helps motivate me to write. Writing this little (okay, maybe not so little) story has actually really helped me through some rough times so thank you to all of you for being the reason I've been able to pick myself up off the floor and move on. : -) **


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: I've been holding off on saying this but I think now is the time to say this: Over the last few months I have come** **across fanfics that seem to me to have been inspired by MFS due to the subject matter, plot twists, and characters, etc and were written long after I posted MFS. I'm very flattered by this but I would very much appreciate it that if you want to use Alex or any of my original ideas, you would ask me first or at the very least credit me or say that I inspired you. Yours, MisterEWriter.**

**Now that that's done, I must say: You all blew me away with your reviews for the last chapter. You have no idea how much all of your words have deeply touched my heart; I really needed to "hear" them over the last few days. There are so many of you to thank so please forgive the long A/N.**

**JMReagan – Thank you! I wanted it to feel as real as possible… glad it came across that way!**

**Angel – Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it so much. Josh really needs a mom figure in his life and I think he's starting to see that Cath could offer that same type of motherly advice that he's been missing out on. **

**Francis2 – Thanks. Glad you enjoyed the flashback even though it showed Alex's trauma in a harsh way. Glad you are still enjoying the story.**

**Sunny irish – I know, right? LOL, I write a lot, don't I? Josh is an awesome kid isn't he? Thanks for reading!**

**Craftygirl11 – Thanks. Sorry to hear RL is still tough for you right now : -( Hope it gets better for you. Until it does, don't worry about updating your story. This little make-believe world we create is so insignificant compared to RL. **

**FicreaderT – Thank you! I think Josh deserved to have a grown up conversation and my muse felt that Catherine was the most logical considering the situation. LOL, Steve is going to have to learn that it's not all about him or his wants… eventually he will have to deal with not always getting his way. Thanks for reading!**

**Pinkphoenix1985 – It's okay, honestly. RL is more important than this story, even if it is a sanity saver for you. Yeah, it was pretty chilling wasn't it? Hopefully not too much but in all fairness I did warn everyone. I think it was very heart wrenching for Steve to hear that, in her dream, Alex saw him allowing her to be abused. They've got a rough road ahead with Alex's trauma but, as I hope you see in this chapter, the nightmare has led to them making some progress in one part of their relationship. Thanks for reading!**

**Ncis42 – Thanks! That's an awesome compliment! :- ) **

**AnonGuest – Her nightmare was extremely heart wrenching (I'm actually quite surprised that I was able to write that scene the way I did, considering I have never experienced anything as traumatic as that) and it definitely connected two of the most traumatic things she has ever experienced: abandonment and kidnapping/attempted rape. Gut wrenching. Thanks for thinking that I'm talented enough to become a professional writer… that might be one of the best compliments I have ever received! Really appreciate your reviews! Thanks!**

**Guest – Thank you! Glad you are enjoying it!**

**Guest – Thank you! Glad you loved that chapter! Steve loves his daughter more than life itself and I think it shows in just about every interaction they have (even when they aren't talking or are fighting). Alex has a lot of people who care about her but I honestly don't think she truly believes it based on the issue of her abandonment. Oh, Newtown. I can only imagine the trauma you have experienced just by being near there. It's amazing really, how something not immediately connected to us, can profoundly impact our sense of security. I'm not a psychiatrist but, yeah, it sounds like you might have some PTSD. I will pray that things get easier for you. Thanks again for the awesome review. : -)**

**GoodbyeLove-HelloDisease – First off, welcome to this story! Secondly, intriguing screen name! Thirdly, thanks for the review. Steve's an awesome daddy, isn't he? (I've modeled him after the kind of dad I imagine canon Steve would be, if he ever becomes a father). Thanks again!**

**Jean24 – Thanks for your review. You're right – sometimes writing this story does take a huge emotional toll on me. I feel the emotions of scenes when the ideas first come to me then I feel them again when I write the scenes and then I feel them for a third time when I edit. Thank you so much!**

**Rolodexthoughts – Thanks! Glad you enjoyed the Josh/Cath scene. Josh truly has feelings for Alex that run deeper than anyone truly knows. As for Josh's mom… this might be a bit of a spoiler but his feelings regarding her are going to become even more complex at some point ; -) . I'm glad that Alex's journey with PTSD has come across as being truly real and accurate. I've never suffered trauma to the point that Alex has… not even remotely close… so I've based things off of things I have seen other people go through. Ugh, it's heart wrenching. **

**War sage – Thank you! Glad you are still reading! **

* * *

"What are you thinking about right now?" Steve asked his too-quiet daughter. It had been two hours since she had woken up everyone in the house with her nightmarish screams. After changing the sheets on her bed and throwing a load in the washing machine – Alex, refusing to let him out of her sight, had accompanied him to the laundry area – they had grabbed some bottles of water out of the fridge, before heading back upstairs, where he had suggested they head to the balcony. Of course, as he had expected, she had waited until he had claimed a chaise lounge chair before sitting down next to him and resting her head on his shoulder. They had chatted for awhile and, taking his daughter's lead, had avoided all talk of the nightmare. About twenty minutes ago, Alex had suddenly grown silent and initially he had taken it as a sign of her falling asleep. Yet her breathing pattern had told him that she was still awake. He had given her some time, giving her the silence that she obviously needed, but knew that things would only get worse the longer he left her to her thoughts.

Even though he had hoped she would open up to him, he had not really expected her to. After all, they still had issues communicating sometimes and Alex was still as independently stubborn as ever. Not that he could blame her: she had spent so long dealing with things by herself that she still fell back to that practice on more occasions than not. When she did give him an honest answer, it not only surprised him that she elected to open up but the answer itself was not what he had been expecting. The kidnapping; Boris; Martin Engler; anxiety; PTSD; all of those would have been logical topics. But Cindy? That made absolutely no sense to him whatsoever. "You're thinking about your Mom?"

Alex sat up and, nudging his legs out of the way, turned to face him, sitting with her legs crossed in front of her. "I think maybe she was actually right about something."

"About what?" When he heard her answer, it amazed him that she actually maintained eye contact with him. Normally it would have been the kind of comment that would have caused her to shield her eyes from him.

"That I complicate things for you." That had been one of those things her mother had always told her whenever she asked why her dad didn't see her very often.

"Alex –"

"Let's face it, Dad," Alex interrupted, resting a hand on his lower leg. "In a couple months I will have been here for two years. For all of that time, minus my first week here, I've been a kid who suffers from nightmares, anxiety, and major abandonment issues." She shrugged. "And if I'm not dealing with that crap, then I'm dealing with something else; there's always something. You can't tell me all of that doesn't complicate your life."

"That doesn't make things complicated," Steve argued gently. "It makes me a parent."

Alex shrugged, suggesting that she didn't quite believe him. "Well, I'm sure all of the irresponsible, disrespectful, and stupid things I've done haven't made it easy for you." When he raised an eyebrow in question, she explained, "You know, hacking on your work computer, buying a plane ticket to Seattle. That kind of stuff."

"Wait a second," Steve said, a teasing smile appearing on his face. "So, what you're telling me is, you finally agree that those things were irresponsible?"

"I never claimed they were anything else," Alex replied before returning to her previous statements. "Sorry I've made things difficult for you by being stupid."

"First off," Steve said, sitting up straighter in the chaise lounge chair. "You're not stupid. Secondly, from the moment you were born – before that even, I suppose – I never expected things to be perfect. Kids aren't perfect and neither are parents. Kids will make mistakes and so will parents."

Alex took the opportunity to tease him, just like he had tried to do a few seconds earlier. "So, what _you're_ telling _me_ is, you finally admit that you're _not_ perfect?"

Steve laughed. His kid was such a smart ass sometimes and he absolutely loved it. "Only when it comes to being your dad." His comment made Alex roll her eyes. Hearing her laugh was like music to his ears; it was such a far cry different than the terrified screaming that had woke him up earlier. "Seriously though, Sweetheart," he continued, reaching over and covering her hand with his. "I always knew you would make mistakes; that's life. You screw up sometimes and that's perfectly okay. When it comes to you making mistakes, the only thing I expect of you is that you learn from them."

Alex nodded her understanding. "Okay, but it still hasn't been easy for you. _I _haven't made it easy for you. Not being easy means it's complicated."

Steve shook his head. "Parenting isn't supposed to be easy, Alex. I honestly believe that it's the hardest thing in the world. But that doesn't make it complicated. It doesn't mean you complicate my life."

"Guess you and Mom will never agree on that, will you?"

Steve shook his head. "Never."

She studied him for a few minutes. "Well I think I know one thing you will agree with her on."

"What's that?"

"That no one in my life will ever keep me as safe as you do."

"Your mom told you that?"

Alex nodded. "In the letter she left me. She wrote a lot of things that I never heard her say in life, like how she made a mistake in keeping me from you and how you and I always had a special kind of bond." She smiled wistfully. "She said that, even though you and her split up a long time ago, a part of her still loved you a little because of how well you always took care of me and how great you are at keeping me safe." She released a breath that told Steve she had been waiting for a long time to share with someone parts of her personal letter from Cindy. "Mom went off on several different tangents." She laughed. "She started talking about fairytales and how they really are true because, more than teaching us that dragons exist, fairytales tell us that dragons can be beaten." She shook her head as another wistful smile appeared on her face. "She said that the thing about you is that you are better than any of the princes or knights in shining armor in those fairytales. You're better than them because, even though you could slay every dragon that comes my way, you also teach me how to slay them for myself."

"Alex," Steve started, "that's…" he trailed off, momentarily stunned by what Cindy had told their hear that Cindy had admitted to still loving him a little and that she had the utmost confidence in his abilities to take care of their daughter… it was surprising, to say the least. It wasn't as if Cindy had ever really expressed those things while she was still alive, not for a long while anyways. "That's…" he tried again, failing to put into words what he was thinking. _Incredibly accurate of how I've always approached my role as Alex's dad._

"I don't doubt what she says," Alex continued without waiting for him to finally find the words to express what he was thinking. "I just think that some dragons can't be slain."

"What do you mean?"

Alex sighed before expelling a loud breath. "My abandonment issues for one. Two: my inability to trust more than a handful of people. Three: my struggle to communicate effectively with you. Four: my deepest fears."

Steve sat up even more, swinging his legs up and over his daughter until he was sitting next to her, his hip touching her knees. He wrapped an arm around her, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. "Let's start with the third one," he told her, pulling away so he could look at her. "I think you're doing a pretty good job at communicating with me right now."

"Really?"

He nodded, giving her an encouraging smile. "A great job actually." He kissed her on the forehead. "The first two you mentioned will take some time but eventually you learn to adapt and overcome. As for the fourth: why don't you try telling me some of those fears?" Sure, he had overhead her conversation with Josh two days ago but he really would like to hear her tell him to his face directly.

"My dream is to go to the Naval Academy, just like you did," Alex answered. "It's what I want more than anything." Her shoulders slumped and a frown appeared on her face. "But what if I can't get in?"

"What makes you think you won't get in?"

"My ankle," she answered honestly. "I think I'll be okay with my academics and I know that Governor Denning has already talked to Senator Schatz about my interest in the Academy so maybe he'll make me one of his nominations for the Academy." She glanced down and touched her ankle. "I'm just afraid that this isn't going to ever get any better."

"Tell you what," Steve proposed, drawing his daughter's eyes back up to his. "I can promise to work with you to get your ankle strong again and then, once it is, I have a ton of ideas on how to help you prepare for the Academy. I can help make you extremely competitive physically and tactically."

"How?"

"I'll come up with a training schedule for you and we'll do it together," he answered, having already thought about it since she had first mentioned her interest in applying for the Academy. "We'll up your swimming and biking program and we'll practice the fitness assessment regularly. I was also thinking we can go on some ruck marches, start out with lightweight rucksacks and short marches but eventually end up with rucks of 35 to 50 pounds and twelve to fifteen miles or so. Maybe, if you're interested, I can also teach you some hand-to-hand combat and, of course, we'll go to the range more and improve your shooting skills."

"Really?" Alex asked him excitedly. "You think my ankle will get strong enough to do all of that?"

Steve nodded. "I do. It might take some hard work but it will get there."

"That's awesome! When can we start?"

Steve laughed at her excitement. "How about Sunday?" She had stopped vomiting less than twenty-four hours ago – he was attributing her throwing up earlier to her nightmare – and he wanted to give her at least two more days of taking it easy before she started pushing herself physically again. "But, remember, we have to take it easy at first."

* * *

"Good morning," Steve greeted, following his daughter into the kitchen. Stepping around her, he walked over to Catherine and kissed her.

"Morning," Catherine returned, placing another peck on his lips. "How…" she trailed off, not bothering to ask Alex her intended question when she heard Alex start talking to Josh.

"Sorry I woke you up last night."

"It's okay," Josh replied, giving her a smile. "I was having a rough time sleeping anyway."

"I'm still sorry," she told him, looking at the counter they were standing by. "What is all this?" The counter was covered in a lot of fresh vegetables and fruits, lactose free cheese, a carton of eggs, a loaf of bread, and juice.

"Since you and I are pretty much feeling better, Catherine and I thought we'd have a big breakfast." He shrugged. "I figure if it's too much for our stomachs to handle, at least we will have had a good meal." He nodded towards the ingredients on the counter. "Omelets, toast and fruit," he told her, reaching up into the cabinet and pulling out some glasses. He reached for the orange juice and began pouring it into one glass, handing it to Catherine when it was full. "Anyone else want some?" he asked, gesturing to the juice container.

Both Alex and Steve took him up on the offer and he continued to pour glasses while talking to his friend. "What would you like in yours? Everything?"

Alex's eyes drifted over the items on the counter: mushrooms, ham, spinach, green pepper, zucchini, and tomatoes. Then her stomach churned at the sight of the last item. "Everything but onion."

"Oh, yeah," Josh said, turning to hand Steve his glass of orange juice. "Can't believe I forgot you don't eat onions."

"When she was little she did," Steve commented, not yet understanding why his daughter had stopped eating them nearly two years earlier. "She was the only kindergartner who didn't pick the onions out of the spaghetti sauce at school."

"It's because of him," Alex said, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She opened her eyes back up. "Boris always smelled like onions."

"Alex –" Steve tried, stepping towards his daughter. She had been doing well in the five hours since her nightmare. One simple conversation had turned that around.

"It's also why I don't eat pickles anymore. Smelling either of them makes me sick." She looked at Josh and then the onions, then at her dad, leaving her gaze on him for several seconds as she thought about the conversation they had earlier. She looked back at Josh. "On second thought, go ahead and put some onions in mine."

"Alex," Steve tried again, reaching a hand out to touch her shoulder.

"I'm fine, Dad." Alex argued, pulling away from him yet grinning up at him. "Slaying dragons, right?" A dog bark signaled that Anchor was ready to come back inside from his morning frolic in the backyard. Alex smiled at them and then turned and left the kitchen.

"Slaying dragons," Steve murmured, turning to face the window to watch his daughter and her dog.

"Dragons?" Catherine asked confused. Steve didn't answer her and Josh just shrugged his shoulders. He didn't always understand the McGarrett's either.

* * *

"Hey, Sweetheart," Steve greeted after hitting the speaker option on his cell phone as they walked back to the car from the crime scene located at the Tactical Operations Fantasy Course.

"Hi, Dad," Alex greeted in return, her cheerful voice instantly bringing a smile to her father's face. "Hi, Uncle Danny."

"Hey, Kiddo," Danny returned, pausing momentarily as he got into the passenger seat of his car. "What trouble are you getting into today?"

Alex laughed. "Oh, you know, I thought I'd start the day by hot wiring an HPD cruiser. Then maybe I'll try my hand at some petty larceny. After that I'll probably just find all those older guys that my Dad has always warned me about –"

"Alexandra!" Steve exclaimed, shaking his head as he turned the key in the ignition. "Don't you dare go find those kind of boys."

"Really?" Danny asked, looking at Steve like he had three heads. "Out of all of that, that's what has you most concerned?"

"That's because she would never actually hot wire a car or commit larceny," Steve explained, pulling the car away from the crime scene. "But tracking down boys… I wouldn't put that past her. If, for no other reason, than to just give me a heart attack."

"Hey," Alex's voice came through the phone. "You do realize I can hear you, right?"

"Sorry, Sweetheart," Steve said, glaring at Danny. "I –"

"Why would I waste my time looking for older boys when I have Josh?" Alex asked, knowing exactly what kind of effect her comment would have on her dad. "I can think of tons of things Josh and I could do that would –"

"Alexandra!"

Alex laughed again. "He has aneurysm face, doesn't he, Uncle Danny?"

"Of course he does," Danny said, stifling a laugh with his hand. "I think there's even a vein in his forehead that's getting ready to pop."

"Better get that first aid kit ready then," Alex said, beginning to laugh hysterically.

"You two done?" Steve asked, glaring at Danny once again. When they both stopped laughing, he continued, "Did you two plan this little phone call?"

"No," Alex answered, giving into another laugh. "That is a great idea though. I'll have to keep that in mind for next time."

"Let's make sure it's a really good one," Danny chimed in, grinning at Steve when he received another glare in his direction.

"Don't encourage her, Daniel," Steve scolded. "Did you need something, Sweetheart?"

"No, not really," she told him. "I actually was calling just to say thanks again for last night." Last night had been the first performance of Les Miserables since the entire cast and crew had gotten sick with _e. coli_. When she had left for school yesterday morning, both her dad and Catherine had informed her that they would be unable to attend the show due to their work schedules. As much as that had sucked, she had understood and, after school, she had hung out with other cast members until it had been time to get ready for the show. The last thing she had expected to see when she stepped on stage for her solo performance had been her Dad sitting in the front row. It hadn't been until after the show that she learned he had been able to move up his meeting with the Governor in order to make it to her show. Then he had surprised her again by telling her that they would head to dinner and then have father-daughter date night. After a lot of fun playing mini-golf and laser tag at Rascals Family Fun Center, they had headed to the Hilton Hawaiian Village for the weekly, Friday night fireworks show before getting Italian ice cream from La Gelateria. It had been an unexpected, surprising, and fun night; so different from that nightmare fueled night of only eight days ago.

"You're welcome," Steve told her, a smile gracing his face. "Glad you had fun." He glanced at the clock on the dashboard. "So what are you and Catherine doing on your girls' day now that Kono can't join you?"

"We're gonna head to base in a few and –"

"Why are you going to base?"

"Mom needs to pick up something," Alex explained even though she wasn't sure what exactly Catherine needed to pick up from the office. "Dad, is it okay if I take some money out of my account?"

"How much money are we talking about?"

"A hundred and fifty maybe," she answered. "I want to buy some new jewelry and maybe buy you some new shirts."

"What's wrong with the shirts I have?" Steve asked, glaring at Danny again when Danny started chuckling at Alex's comment.

"They're all a shade of blue," Alex said, before she could be heard yelling for Anchor to come back inside the house. "You really should consider a different color palette for your wardrobe." That comment caused Danny to laugh even louder.

Choosing to just ignore Danny, Steve told her, "You don't need to take money out of your account for new jewelry. Just use the debit card I gave you and –"

"Please, Dad," Alex pleaded. "You don't need to keep buying me stuff. It's not like I _need_ new jewelry; I just _want_ it. Besides, I have all that money just sitting there and –"

"A hundred dollars," Steve interrupted her. "That's it. But, please, don't try to spend it all on jewelry. And _don't_ spend it on a new wardrobe for me."

"Red," Alex stated. "I'm thinking you'd look handsome in red."

* * *

"La Mariana Tiki Bar," Steve told Danny as they walked along the pathway in front of Iolani Palace. "I'll drive."

Tossing Steve his keys, Danny stated, "No surprise there."

Looking up as he reached the Camaro, Steve was surprised to spot Catherine's car headed toward them. Based on his conversation with Alex roughly an hour and a half ago, he really thought the two of them would be off spending his money by now. Catherine's car came to a stop along the opposite curb and both car doors opened. "Hi!," Catherine greeted as she approached them with Alex not far behind her.

"What the –" Danny started, taking in Catherine's choice of attire for the day. "What the hell is this?"

"What?" Catherine asked, looking at Steve for some sort of explanation. "We can't surprise Steve at work?"

"Oh, you can do that," Danny answered. "I'm talking about the, uh, jersey."

Catherine looked down at her blue jersey. "Oh, well we moved around a lot as a kid so, you know, I never stayed around long enough to get tied to a team."

"Oh, so you willingly root for the Dallas Cowboys?" Danny asked her, disgust evident on his face.

"Oh, come on!" Catherine argued. "Who doesn't like America's team?"

Steve raised his hand. "I don't."

"Me either," Alex chimed in.

"And, if I recall correctly," Steve continued, "my Redskins _humiliated_ your Cowboys the last time they played."

"_Your_ Redskins are just as bad as the Cowboys, Dad," Alex informed him as if she were the expert on all things football. "Seahawks all the way!"

Amused by the little family interaction, Danny commented, "That's very cute. You've got a Cowboys fan engaged to a Redskins fan and a kid who's a Seahawks fan. It's like the Capulets and the Montagues."

"Ha ha, that's good," Catherine complimented as she laughed. "I'll give you an A plus for that literary reference."

"Thanks," Danny said, a pleased smile on his face.

"Actually I came here with a peace offering for Steve," Catherine informed them. "See the NFL hooked up my unit with tickets to the game tomorrow so," she pulled three tickets out of her purse, "the three of us are going to the Pro Bowl!"

A conflicted look appeared on Steve's face. "I'm already going with Danny."

"We got 50 yard line seats," Danny commented, pretty sure that he had the best seats in the house.

"We got them this morning," Steve explained, noting the disappointed look on both Alex's and Catherine's face. "I'm sorry."

"Okay," Catherine said, sliding the tickets back into her purse. "Well these are pretty good so I'm sure we can find someone else to join us."

"I'm just going to let that awkward moment fade out a bit," Danny finally said, interrupting the short awkward silence. "We need to get to the bar."

"For a case," Steve explained, seeing the questioning look on his daughter's face.

"It's for a bar case," Danny needlessly added before walking over to his car.

"Why don't we do some tailgating before the game together?" Steve offered, hoping his daughter and fiancé wouldn't be too mad at him for already having tickets to the game.

"I would love that," Catherine said, an amused smile appearing on her face. "But I don't want to get in the way of your man date with Danny."

"It's not a man date," Steve argued.

"Is too a man date," Alex said, grinning when her dad lightly swatted her.

"Anyway, Kamekona already invited himself so you're not getting in the way." Steve bent his head down and kissed Catherine on the lips.

Still wanting to tease him, Catherine stated, "Oh, that's a three-way man date." She started walking backwards towards her car. "Cute. Very, very cute." Catherine laughed at the expression on Steve's face before getting back into the driver's seat of her car.

Snapping her seatbelt into place, Alex asked, "You're not gonna tell him we have tickets to watch from the sideline?"

"Nope," Catherine said, turning the key in the ignition. "He can find that out tomorrow when he's in his seat watching us celebrate _on_ the field." Steering the car back onto the road, she asked, "So which store do you want to visit first?"

* * *

"What do you think?" Steve asked Danny as they walked onto the field. Their plans to attend the Pro Bowl had gone to hell when Steve had dislocated his shoulder taking down a suspect. Even though he had told Danny to go to the game without him, Danny had refused, choosing to accompany him to the hospital instead. While he had been getting his shoulder fixed, Danny had watched the game on the TV in the waiting room. That was where Danny had discovered that Alex, Catherine and Kono had tickets to watch the game from the sideline. That had only upset Danny even more so, upon leaving the hospital, Steve had called Catherine to ask if there was any chance she could get them access to the field after the game.

"It's amazing," Danny observed.

"It's amazing, right?"

"I think it'd be a little more impressive with 50,000 people in the stands, the greatest athletes of all time on the field," Danny stated. "It's nice like this."

"Sorry you had to miss the game," Steve said genuinely. He spotted Catherine walking towards them, holding a bag in her hand; Alex was nowhere to be seen. "But look at it this way," Steve continued, hoping that not all of Danny's dreams had been shattered. "Next year Peyton Manning will be picked for the Pro Bowl team again, right?"

"Okay," Catherine said, reaching them. "You have the field for a few minutes but then they have to cover it up."

"Okay. Thanks," Steve told her.

"No problem. Listen," she returned, turning her attention to Danny. "Peyton said he was really sorry. He really wanted to meet you but he had a plane to catch."

"Peyton. Peyton?" Danny said incredulously. "What are you guys? On a first name basis now?"

"Kinda," Catherine told him, not bothering to mention that Alex had actually met Peyton a few years ago in Seattle, thanks to her step-father having some connections to the NFL. "We, uh, we had a talk back there and I told him that you were a huge fan and that you couldn't make it because of a case and, uh," she continued, pulling an autographed football out of her bag. "He wanted me to give you this."

"Okay that's awesome," Steve commented, taking in the signature on the ball.

Danny looked at the autographed ball, momentarily stunned by the gesture. "That's really great. Thank you. What's he like?"

"So nice," Catherine replied, a dreamy smile on her face. "And really tall."

"Should I be jealous?" Steve asked, catching Catherine's eye.

"Should you be jealous?" Danny asked rhetorically. "He's, uh, a four time MVP, Super Bowl Champion, future hall of famer."

"Okay, besides that what has he done?"

"What's he done?" Danny repeated, looking at Steve with a completely dumbfounded expression on his face.

"Yeah, what's he done?"

"Oh, he hosted Saturday night Live," Danny replied. "A lot of charity work; works with kids." He raised his hand which was holding the football. "He gave me this football."

"We should throw the… let's throw the ball," Steve suggested, ignoring the slight throbbing in his right shoulder.

Catherine laughed before pointing out, "That right there is an autographed football."

Steve shrugged. "When's he going to get the chance to catch a pass on an actual NFL Field?" In that moment, Alex's laughter rang out from somewhere behind him. Turning around, Steve saw that his daughter, who was sporting a Seattle Seahawks helmet on her head and holding a football in her hand, was being carried over the shoulder of a man who easily had a couple of inches on Steve and looked to be pushing three hundred pounds. The man could have easily passed as an NFL player. It surprised the heck out of him and Danny when, after being set back down on her own two feet, Alex introduced the man.

"Max, this is my Dad," Alex said, pulling the helmet off of her head. "And Danny Williams." Gesturing to the big man, she continued, "Dad, Uncle Danny, this is Max Unger. Center for –"

"For the Seahawks," Danny interrupted, excited to meet another professional football player. "Nice to meet you, Max," he greeted, shaking the man's hand.

"You too, Detective," Max greeted as he spotted the police badge that the much shorter man was wearing on his belt. Grinning, he reached out to shake Steve's hand. "And you're 'Dad'."

Steve laughed. "Steve McGarrett. Nice to meet you." He glanced at his daughter and then back at Max. "Hope Alex hasn't been too much of a handful."

"Not at all," Max replied, grinning down at the teenager. "Alex and I go way back. It's been what? Four years?"

"Yep," Alex confirmed. "We met during your rookie season in 2009." She looked at up her Dad. "Max also helps Denise out at the shelter sometimes."

"Great," Steve said, before turning his attention back to Danny. "Let's go," he suggested, reaching for Danny's football.

"This is my ball," Danny reminded him. "And it's autographed by –"

"I'll hike it," Max offered, reaching for the ball. "If you want to run a play."

"Uh, okay," Danny said. There was no way he was going to pass up the opportunity to play ball with a Pro Bowler. He looked at Steve. "You want me to run post? A fly? Square in, square out?"

"Why don't you run and I'll just throw the ball?"

"Okay," he said, handing Max the ball. As he prepared himself to run, he watched as Steve took his spot behind Max Unger, who was preparing to hike the ball. This certainly was going to make up for having to miss the game.

* * *

**A/N: Alex's comment "I complicate things for you" goes back to MFS part 1, chapter 11 when Steve first asked Alex if she would want to live with him permanently.**

**The fairytale quote about dragons is credited to English writer G.K. Chesterton. His exact quote is, "****Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." The part after that, about Steve being better than princes and knights, is strictly credited to me and my muse.**

**Max Unger is, in fact, a Center for the Seattle Seahawks. However, the idea that he volunteers at homeless shelters is something I created for the purposes of this story.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: It truly amazes me that I have already received more reviews for this part of the MFS series than part 2 received in its' entirety and 3x more than part 1 did. Warning for this chapter: contains spoilers for episode 3.18, or the Roller Derby episode. **

**Sunny irish – Thank you! There's hope yet for our two stubborn, favorite daddy-daughter duo! **

**Angel – Thanks, glad you enjoyed the chapter. Alex loves to give her dad aneurysm face, lol!**

**Gear's Girl – Thank you!**

**JMReagan – Thanks!**

**Pinkphoenix1985 – Thank you! Alex is sometimes complicated to write. She's certainly not how I originally imagined her but she's kind of demanded to become something else than initially planned. Glad you enjoyed it!**

**AnonGuest – Thank you so much! Lee Rigby has been in my prayers all week. Memorial Day was Monday and I spent the day remembering and honoring all of my brothers and sisters in arms who paid the ultimate sacrifice in service to our country. It's not something any of us strive to do but we are all willing to pay that price if it is required of us.**

**Francis2 – Thanks! I love the dragon quote too. **

**Tessab – Thank you! Nice to hear from you again! **

**Guest – Thank you!**

**Rolodexthoughts – That was one of my favorite lines, too! lmao, it is so much fun to write Danny and Alex messing with Steve, especially when it gives him aneurysm face!**

**FicreaderT – No worries, all of that is soon to come, especially with where Josh and Sam will stay during Jason's deployment. It's not quite teasing but Alex does address her Dad's injury in this chapter. I'm pretty sure I will end up continuing through the summer, only because this keeps turning into something longer than planned! Maybe I'll finish this in enough time to start working on prequel pieces to this storyline. Thanks for reviewing!**

**War sage – Thank you! **

* * *

"Where's your sling?"

"Alex –"

"You're setting a bad example for me, you know that?" Alex told him, standing in the doorway of the kitchen with her hands on her hips and her backpack slung over one shoulder.

"I don't need a sling," Steve argued, barely managing to hide a wince when he reached for a box of cereal on the top shelf of the pantry.

"That's not what the doctor said," Alex reminded him, setting her backpack down on the floor and moving further into the kitchen. After throwing the autographed football to Uncle Danny yesterday, her dad had hunched over in pain, grabbing his right shoulder. It hadn't been until after he had told them he needed to go to the hospital that she and Catherine had learned that the reason he and Danny had missed the Pro Bowl was because her dad had been getting his dislocated shoulder fixed in the ER.

"Alex," Steve said with a tone that warned her to stop arguing with him.

"Do you also plan on disobeying his order that you don't go to work for a week?"

"Last time I checked, young lady," Steve told her, crossing his arms in front of him and intentionally not answering her question. "I'm the adult, not you. When did you become my parent?"

Alex looked at him with that look that reminded him surprisingly of Catherine. "The moment you decided to start acting like a child by disobeying the doctor's orders."

Steve shook his head, resisting the urge to laugh at how much she sounded like him. "I've been hurt worse than this before," he told her, stepping over to the fridge and opening it. Reaching in for the carton of milk, he added, "Besides, I think I know my body better than the doctor does."

"I'll call Mom." Catherine had been called into work a couple of hours ago, around three a.m., and Alex really wished she was here right now. At least then it wouldn't just be her having to argue with her stubborn father.

"Oh, so that's what you're going to resort to?" Steve asked her. "Gonna tattle on me?"

"If I wanted to tattle on you," Alex told him, reaching for the loaf of bread on the counter. "I would call Doris." _Which I already did since I knew you wouldn't listen to me._ She glanced at the clock on the stove; her grandmother should be showing up soon. She took two slices of bread out of the bag and popped them into the toaster, pushing the button down to start the toasting process. "If you would just behave like a good boy…" she teased, stepping over to the pantry and grabbing the jar of peanut butter out of it. Turning back around to face him, she grinned. "Guess we know who's to blame for my stubbornness and tendency to disobey authority."

"You get that from your mother." Yeah, even he couldn't keep a straight face after saying that. Turning serious again, he looked at her questioningly. "When's the last time you disobeyed authority and why don't I know about it?"

Alex shrugged, turning back around to the counter when her toast popped up in the toaster. "Maybe I'll do it today," she told him, a teasing tone in her voice. "Coming to pick me up from Principal Kamiya's office will give you something to do." She turned her head and gave him a pointed look. "You know, since you're not allowed to go to work."

Steve sighed, finally pouring his cereal and milk into a bowl. "Wanna give me a heads up on what you're going to get in trouble for?"

Alex shrugged again, spreading peanut butter on her toast. "Running in the halls; rappelling out the third floor window; climbing up the flagpole; breaking into the teachers' lounge…" she trailed off, grinning to herself about the reaction her next comment would get out of her dad. "Heavy PDA in the hallway." She laughed to herself when she heard a spoon drop to the floor and she knew _exactly_ what his face looked like now.

"Why do you do that to me?"

Turning to face her father, Alex grinned, pleased that her comment had had the desired effect. "Eighty-eight days, Dad. Eighty-eight days." She laughed again at the look of displeasure on his face. Hearing Doris' voice calling for them followed by the sound of the front door closing, Alex shouted, "In the kitchen!" To save herself from having to answer the questioning look her father shot her, she took a bite of her toast.

"Good morning," Doris greeted, stepping into the kitchen. She immediately walked over to her son, studying him to determine the reason for her granddaughter's phone call earlier. Her question was answered when, as she hugged him, he winced. "So you're hurt," Doris stated, studying his face for any sign of just how much pain he was in. "What did you do?"

"It's nothing, Mom," Steve claimed. Catching the guilty look in his daughter's eyes, he continued, "You called her?" When Alex just shrugged nonchalantly, he muttered, "So much for you not tattling."

"Of course I called her," Alex finally answered. "Since you won't listen to me _or_ Mom _and_ you don't want to adhere to what the doctor ordered, maybe you'll listen to her." Turning her attention on her grandmother, she explained, "Dad dislocated his shoulder yesterday when he tackled a suspect. After he got it fixed, he decided to throw a football to Danny which caused him to injure it again."

"Alex," Steve started, his tone scolding.

Alex continued as if he hadn't said anything. "The doctor last night told him to wear a sling for the next few days." Nodding towards her father, she added, "As you can see, he seems to think that he knows better than the doctor does."

"Alex," Steve said, warning her again. "You –"

"Let her talk, Steven," Doris told him, narrowing her eyes at him to tell him that he better not try to argue with her. "Go on, Alex."

"Thank you, Doris," Alex said, ignoring the glare her Dad shot her. "He's also not supposed to work for five to seven days but I think he's already plotting to head to the office as soon as I leave for school."

"You finished?" Steve asked her. He couldn't believe his daughter had called his mother to come keep an eye on him. "Or is there anything else you feel the need to tell her?"

Alex smirked at him before looking at her grandmother again. "Excuse his attitude. He's a little grumpy over the fact that I turn sixteen in _eighty-eight_ days."

"Oh, right," Doris said, smiling at her son. "That's the day you get to start dating. How exciting!" Her smile grew even larger. "I can only imagine how many boys are going to show up here and –"

"Really, Mom?" Steve said, shaking his head. "Do you have to encourage her?"

"Oh, relax, Steven," Doris told him. "You have to let her grow up some time."

"Yeah, Dad," Alex added, taking another bite of her now cold toast. "_Relax_." Hearing the doorbell ring, she continued, "That'll be Josh. I better go so we're not late for school." She stepped forward and kissed her dad on the cheek. "Love you."

"Love you, too," Steve said, his tone still bordering on grumpy.

"He can still come by after school, right?" Having both done very well on their PSAT exams in the fall, they were both now scheduled to take the SAT and ACT exams in April – they also planned on taking them again in the fall – and, with the help of both of their father's, had developed an eight week study schedule, with today being the first of the study sessions. "Test prep?"

"I remember," Steve told her. "And yes, he can still come by to study."

"Thanks," Alex said, grabbing the rest of her toast – she'd have to eat the rest while she rode her bike to school – and moving towards the door of the kitchen. She bent down and picked up backpack, slinging it over one shoulder. Turning to face her father and grandmother again, she repeated, "Enjoy your day together. Love you, Dad."

"Love you, too," he returned, this time making sure he didn't sound as grumpy.

"Much better," she commented, giving him a smile. She turned around and took a step before quickly turning around again. "Hey, Dad?" She grinned at him when he looked up from his cereal bowl. "Next time wear the sling."

* * *

It had been three and a half weeks since she had experienced her first nightmare in which her dad allowed her to be abused by Boris. Since then she had had two more of that type of nightmare and, like he had been after that first one, her Dad had been there, to wake her from the terror and hold her until her fears had subsided. Like they had after the first one, they had stayed up together for the rest of the night both times, regardless of whether she had school or he had work the next day. They would spend that time just talking; some of their best communication had occurred during those early mornings spent waiting for the sun to rise.

They were running in the mornings again – three times a week – and supplementing the other two weekday mornings with biking ten to twelve miles. After school, on the days that the musical cast didn't have rehearsals, she and Tracy spent some time running around the track at school; Tracy had improved so much over the last year that she would be ready to try out for the cross-country team in the fall. Alex would then either head to her dad's office or home, where she would complete her school homework or study for the SAT and ACT with Josh. After dinner, which rarely included all three of them (Catherine, her dad, and herself) together, she would either finish her homework or spend some time in the backyard with Anchor, before finishing the night with a short swim in the ocean. On the nights that they weren't working, her dad or Catherine would join her for the swim. With all of the physical activity, her ankle hurt a little, but not nearly enough to keep her from working on getting back into shape or prepping for the Naval Academy.

The minimal amount of ankle pain allowed her to finally get back on the surfboard. On weekend mornings, when Kono wasn't working, they would go surfing together on the North Shore and then get breakfast together. Afterwards, depending on what was socially going on with her friends or if her parents were working, Alex would either go hang out with her friends, work on school projects, or go for a long hike or bike ride with her dad and Catherine – twice they had run the Koko Head Crater Stairs – and Anchor would often join them. Friday and Saturday nights were set aside for the performances of _Les_ _Miserables _which left Sunday afternoons or evenings, if her dad wasn't working, for their father-daughter dates. They had only had one of their dates in the last three-and-a-half weeks. On the other Sundays, Alex and Anchor would spend the afternoon at Kamekona's shrimp truck, with Alex helping to cook and serve shrimp and Anchor just lounging near the truck until Alex would take him down for a dip in the ocean to cool off.

Alex felt like everything had been going great; it was such a nice change to finally be content with life again. Her social interactions with friends – not just Josh, Tracy, and Seth – had been extremely fun while allowing bonds to strengthen beyond that of that mere classmate/acquaintance type of relationship. She was still doing very well academically and felt very confident that she would do well on her upcoming AP US History exam and the SAT and ACT. She also looked forward to meeting with her guidance counselor to determine next year's academic schedule and she had a feeling her schedule would be heavy with AP and Honors classes. She also looked forward to being able to take on an advanced leadership position in NJROTC next year. Even things at home had improved: she and her dad were communicating better than they ever had; with Catherine around, it had really felt like they were a real family; even Doris had stopped by a few times to share a meal or just hang out. Although Alex still had some doubts about Doris, it had been nice to have the opportunity to create memories with a grandparent again.

Considering how well everything had been going, how well everyone had been getting along, it took Alex completely by surprise when, within a six hour span, two things started crumbling right before her very eyes.

"You really think I can do it?" Tracy asked her as they exited the locker room and stepped back onto the path that would take them towards the courtyard of the school.

"I do," Alex said encouragingly. She was so excited and proud of her friend. They had just finished a three-mile run around the school track and Tracy had run it in her fastest time ever, averaging around nine minutes a mile. While that was still slow to be competitive in any cross-country race, in five to six months, Tracy should be able to try out and make the cross-country team. "You have improved so much over the last year. Keep up the good work and by the time tryouts come in the fall, you should be able to run an eight minute mile which will make you very competitive!"

"Really?"

"Yes," Alex said laughing. "You should be really proud of yourself, Tracy."

"I am but I…" she trailed off, coming to a stop when she spotted Josh and Seth standing on the sidewalk ahead of them. "What's that about?"

"I don't know," Alex said, concerned at what she was seeing. Josh and Seth appeared to be arguing and their aggressive stances suggested that it was pretty serious. While all friends fought every once in awhile, good friends like Josh and Seth were did not argue that aggressively.

"Hey!" Tracy shouted, jogging towards them with Alex next to her.

"What's going on?" Alex asked when they reached them.

"Let me guess," Seth said, his anger filled eyes focused on Josh. "You're going to choose her over me."

"I'm not choosing anybody," Josh replied, loudly expelling a breath as he tried to regain some sense of calm.

"I don't see you telling her you can't study with her," Seth continued, his eyes glancing momentarily at Alex. "Yet you have no problem saying no to hanging out with me."

Josh took a deep breath before responding. "Our study sessions have been planned for weeks, you know that. You just now asked me to hang out with you tonight and I can't." He ran a hand through his hair. "I honestly don't get why you're so upset about this. We can hang out later this week and we'll be at your birthday party on Thursday night."

"I bet if Alex asked you to hang out tonight you would."

"Seth," Alex said, trying to get his attention off of Josh.

"Stay out of this, Alex!" Seth shouted at her.

"Seth," Tracy said, placing a hand on her boyfriend's arm. "You need to –"

Seth turned his body to face Tracy. "Oh, that's right, pick their side." He stepped back, away from her touch.

"I'm not choosing sides," Tracy told him. "I just think we all need to calm down and talk about this without screaming at each other."

"You know what?" Seth said, shaking his head. "Forget this. Forget all of you." He angrily turned and stomped off, leaving his friends staring after him, wondering what the hell just happened.

"Are you okay?" Alex finally asked Tracy.

"That was uncalled for," Josh stated, looking at Tracy. "He shouldn't have treated you like that. I'm –"

"I'm fine," Tracy said, although the look in her eyes expressed quite the opposite. "I think I'm gonna head home." Giving Alex a smile that was obviously forced, she added, "Thanks for running with me again today."

"Tracy," Alex said.

"Its' okay, Alex," Tracy stated again. "I'm fine. I'll, uh, talk to you guys later, okay?"

Once Tracy was gone, Alex turned to look at Josh. "What was that about?"

"He wants me to go to some party tonight with him."

"His parents are letting him go to a party on a Tuesday night?"

Josh shrugged. "I guess." He picked up his backpack from the ground. "My dad just got back, Alex, and he's leaving again in less than three months."

"I know," she told him. "And you want to spend as much time with him as possible before he deploys."

"Yeah," Josh said as they started to walk in the direction of the bike racks at the front of the school. "We already have plans to do stuff tonight, just the three of us, and Seth doesn't seem to understand that." He glanced at her briefly. "I think there's more going on with him though."

"Yeah," Alex agreed, reaching over and squeezing his hand. "It's not like him to blow up about something like that." Tugging gently on his hand, she pulled him to a stop. "When Tracy and I first saw you guys, it looked to be pretty intense. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Josh answered, even if it wasn't quite the truth. Seth, who had quickly become his second greatest friend in Hawaii, had started acting differently, angrier, over the last week or so and, after the things that Seth had said to him before the girls had shown up, he feared that his friend was becoming a complete stranger to him. "I don't want to talk about it anymore, okay? Let's just go study."

* * *

A couple hours after her studying session with Josh had ended, Alex found herself sitting at the dining room table across from her father. Open takeout containers from a Japanese restaurant sat on the table between them; the tick-tock of the clock was the only sound in the house. Using her chopsticks, she picked up a caterpillar roll then, taking another glance at the empty chair beside her, she set it back down. Sitting back in her seat, she watched as her father consumed his meal. The tenseness in his shoulders and the distant look in his eyes told her that something was bothering him. Maybe that explained why he was oblivious to her discomfort. Maybe that explained why he hadn't said a word since sitting down at the table to eat. "Where's Mom?"

Steve stopped chewing his California Roll, tearing his eyes off of his takeout container to look at her. He took a couple more bites before swallowing, wondering how to explain it all to her. "Not here."

"Obviously," Alex said, glancing at the empty chair that was where Catherine always sat. "Where is she?"

"She's staying with one of her friends," he told her before returning to his meal.

"Why?" Alex asked, confused. It didn't make sense that Catherine wasn't here tonight, especially considering the two of them were supposed to go for a long walk on the beach with Anchor later. "She's supposed to be here."

Steve sighed, setting his chopsticks down on the table. "Something happened earlier and…" he trailed off, trying to figure out what exactly to tell her. "Something happened and, well, I told her not to come home."

"What?" Alex asked, the anger instantly flashing in her eyes. "Why? This is her home!"

"It _was_ her home," Steve corrected. "I'm not sure she'll ever be coming back here."

"What?" Alex repeated. "What is wrong with you?!"

"She kept something from me, Alex," Steve said, not at all fazed by her angry outburst. "Catherine kept the truth from me about something that is pretty significant…" he trailed off, shaking his head, still in shock at the feeling of utter betrayal that was sitting heavy in his chest.

"So your solution is to kick her out of her home?"

"I thought I could trust her," Steve continued, not bothering to address his daughter's question directly. "She knows how many people have lied to me over the years. She knows –"

"You love each other!" Alex screamed. "You're getting married in five months!"

"I don't know about that anymore either."

Alex looked at him, stunned. "Unbelievable, Dad. You find the love of your life and you're just gonna throw that all away because of some stupid lie! Did you even ask her about it? About why she didn't tell you about whatever it was?"

"Why does it matter why she did it?" Steve asked her. "No reason she gives –"

"Because you love each other!" Alex screamed at him before switching gears. "Doris lied to you and you forgave her."

"Alex –"

"Doris' lie was the worst kind of lie there is," Alex commented. "I bet that Catherine's is nothing compared to that."

"Alex –"

"What about the mother-daughter breakfast at my school on Friday morning?"

"She probably won't be able to make it."

"Was that her decision or yours?" Alex asked him, her eyes full of anger. One look from her dad provided the answer. Alex stood up, pushing her chair back until it hit the wall. With both palms resting on the countertop, she screamed, "She is my Mom! For the first time in forever, I have a mom who actually wants to do things with me and because you are too stubborn to try to work things out with her, you're going to take her away from me?" Pushing off the table, she narrowed her eyes at him. "How dare you! We finally have a real family and now you're going to throw it all away like it's nothing?" Alex shook her head, blinking away the angry tears that threatened to fall. "I can't believe how stupid you are acting right now." When he didn't say anything, she added, "You're being a big jerk, you know that?"

* * *

When his daughter had walked away with Anchor in tow, he hadn't said anything, choosing, instead, to just sit there at the table for at least twenty minutes. He understood why Alex was upset with him – he hadn't expected her to act any differently – but what was more important right now was that Catherine, the woman he had wanted to marry, the woman that he had been in love with for seven years, had flat out lied to him. Catherine was the only one who truly knew how many people had betrayed his trust over the years. She was the only one who he had confided in about the pain caused whenever his friends and family lied to him. Catherine knew how much he valued trust in his relationships and for her to betray him in that way… it hurt tremendously. In a way, it felt like the ultimate betrayal.

Glancing at his watch, he realized that he only had about an hour until his mother was due to show up at the house. After getting hurt earlier in the day when she had encountered a burglar, who Steve now believed had to do with this Mangosta guy that Catherine had kept secret from him, he had told her that he wanted her to stay at the house with him. While that had seemed like a good idea _before_ he found out that Catherine had kept the truth from him, he really wasn't in the mood now to deal with his mother. Yet, he couldn't just turn her away; she would stay with them until he figured out how to approach the issue with her. With very little time until she showed up, he figured he should head upstairs to talk with his daughter. Yes, she was mad at him but he still needed to explain things to her; they needed to have an adult discussion about everything that had gone today.

Picking up as many of the takeout containers as he could carry, he made sure to grab both sets of chopsticks before heading upstairs. When he made it to her room, he was glad to see the door slightly ajar. Despite hearing her talk to someone, he nudged the door open with his elbow and stepped into the room. She gave him an exasperated look when she saw him step into the room and then she politely told the person on the phone she needed to go. "Love you."

"That better not have been a boy you just said that to."

Alex glared at him, tossing her phone onto her bed. "Not that it's any of your business but I was talking to Mom."

"Alex –"

"Just because you're mad at her, doesn't mean I have to be," Alex interrupted him. "She's Mom and I'm not going to stop talking to her just because you think I should."

"I never said that," Steve said, setting the takeout containers down on her desk.

"You didn't have to," Alex told him, still glaring at him. "You implied it by telling me that you don't want her to go to the mother-daughter breakfast or just be here with me, you –"

"I don't want to fight with you, okay?" Steve said, interrupting her.

"Yeah, well, if you're here to ground me, I don't care," Alex told him. "I'm not going to apologize for yelling at you or calling you a stupid jerk."

"I know," Steve told her. "You don't apologize for expressing what you believe to be the truth." He held her chopsticks out to her. "Truce? Please? At least let me explain what happened." She hesitated for several long seconds but then finally took the chopsticks from him. Turning to reopen the food containers, he added, "By the way, because you chose to yell at me, you are grounded. You're not allowed to leave this house all weekend, except for your shows." Looking at her and seeing that she didn't really care about being stuck in the house all weekend, he added, "And you won't have your phone for the rest of the week." There: a punishment she actually gave a damn about. "Any questions?"

"About my punishment or about your fight with Mom?" Alex asked snarkily. Understanding the look of warning he gave her and not wanting to add any more time to her punishment, she stepped over to her bed and picked up her cell phone. Turning it off, she handed it over to him.

"Smart move," he commented, pocketing her phone before offering a takeout container to her. "If you're ready to abandon your bad attitude, I'll tell you what happened."

_Hours after he received a phone call from a physician in the ER informing him that Doris had been injured, Steve had headed to her house to look at the burglary scene. He had been standing in her living room, taking in the scene and staring at the open safe in the wall, when Catherine had walked in, interrupting him from his thoughts and concerns. _

"_What happened?"_

"_Well," Steve told her, "according to Doris, she interrupted a burglar."_

_A skeptical look came over Catherine's face. "This doesn't look like a normal burglary." _

"_That's because it wasn't a normal burglary." He turned back around to face the open safe. "This was a surgical strike. Whoever did this knew exactly what they were looking for and they knew Doris well enough to know where she would hide something." He turned back around to look at Catherine. "She's lying to me again. I don't know what to do, Catherine." _

_That had been the trigger point that told Catherine she needed to come clean with him. "Steve."_

"_Yeah," he replied with a distracted tone. _

"_I need to tell you something."_

"_What?"_

"_Have you ever heard of, um, someone named Mangosta?" Catherine asked him. _

_He was quiet for a few moments, silently running over names and faces of people he had encountered over the years. "Mangosta. No, why?"_

"_He's an operative from Doris' past in covert ops." _

_That was interesting information. "Did you get this information from Navy Intel?" he asked her. _

_Catherine shook her head. "No."_

"_Then how do you know this?" One part of him wanted to know but the other part of him feared the answer. _

"_You remember that incident at your house a couple of months ago?" Catherine asked him. "When Alex saw your mother fighting with some man? That man was Mangosta. He came after Doris. That's why he was there that day." She turned and glanced at the open safe. "I think this might be connected to him." _

_The information she had just given him, came like a stab to the heart. He remembered that day – his daughter had been terrified when he had gotten home that night – but he had been told by both his mother and Catherine that Doris had encountered a masked intruder. Neither of them had ever even alluded to the fact that the man had been targeting Doris. "Why would you not tell me?" _

"_I wanted to," Catherine answered, hoping, but not expecting, her words would lessen the tension that was coming off of him in waves. "And I should have."_

"_Yeah," Steve said, his voice raised in anger. "You should have!"_

"_I made a promise," Catherine told him. "And Doris… she didn't want you to worry so I didn't…" she trailed off, shaking her head. _

"_You should go," Steve said, feeling, for the first time ever when it came to her, scared about how he might physically respond if she didn't leave. "Okay?"_

"_Steve."_

"_Catherine," he stated, stepping back to provide her with a direct route to the front door. "You need to go and I don't think you should come home tonight." _

"Really, Dad?" Alex asked, looking at him with her chopsticks halfway to her mouth. "That's why you're not letting her come home?"

"Alex, I –"

"Sounds to me like Doris is the one to blame again," Alex commented. When she received a reproving look from her dad, she added, "It's true. She's the one that asked Catherine to not tell you." She shrugged. "Besides, I don't think Catherine would ever intentionally hurt you. She _loves_ you, Dad. I mean, she lets you bug her for favors all the time and she never complains. She's even still doing this stupid undercover roller derby thing for you even though you treated her like crap."

"It's not that simple, Alex."

"Why do you have to complicate everything?" Alex asked him, putting the sushi in her mouth and chewing. "Catherine loves you and you love her. She would never intentionally do anything to hurt you and she would probably even give her life if it meant protecting us." Setting her food container down on her desk, she rested a hand on her dad's arm. "You love her, Dad, you know you do. Loving each other doesn't mean it's perfect. It doesn't mean you'll never fight or hurt each other. Loving each other means you'll fight like hell to make things right when one of you makes a mistake. I've never know you to give up on anything; you can't just give up on your relationship without a fight. Talk to her, Dad."

* * *

Two days later, his daughter's words still echoed in his head. Yesterday, they had arrested the man responsible for the death of a roller derby player and it had all been thanks to Catherine's undercover work. In fact, it had been the bullet from _her_ service weapon that had rendered the man useless, saving another player's life in the process. He had barely said two words to her that day, just asking her if she was okay, and he hadn't talked to her since. Even earlier at the funeral, when he could feel her eyes on him, he had not spoken a single word to her. He was still so hurt by what she had done that he hadn't even looked at her.

Now, here he was, still wearing his clothes from the funeral, making a cup of tea for his mother, prepared to give her a chance to come clean with him about the break-in. He was so ready to have this conversation with his mother, that he had instructed his daughter to take a long walk with Anchor; he hadn't wanted her to overhear their conversation. With the tea finished steeping in the cup, he threw away the tea bag and carried the cup out to the living room. Sitting on the edge of the coffee table, facing her, he said, "Hey, Mom, we need to talk."

"Sure, honey," Doris said, taking a sip of her tea. "What's up?"

"Who robbed your house?"

"I told you," Doris answered. "I didn't see him."

Already sensing that his mother would continue to deny any knowledge about what had happened, he asked, "Did it have anything to do with Mangosta?"

Doris looked shocked at his question. Quickly recovering, she commented, "Catherine told you, huh."

His emotions coming into play and his daughter's words ringing in his ears, he asked, "Is it not enough that you can't open your mouth without lying to me, you gotta use Catherine against me too?"

"I wasn't using Catherine." She set her tea cup down on the end table next to the recliner. "I was trying to protect you. I was trying to protect Alex."

"Just stop for a minute," Steve told her. He was sick and tired of his mom constantly using the excuse that everything she did was to protect him and his daughter. Her excuses were getting old; at some point she would have to admit that she was not the truly selfless person she claimed to be. "Just stop, alright." Hurt coming through in his tone, he stated, "Catherine and I had a good thing and now what? Huh?"

"Steve, that girl loves you," Doris declared. "She wasn't trying to hurt you. I wasn't trying to hurt you."

"You don't get it," he insisted. "You still don't get it."

"Steve, I'm sorry."

"Who robbed your house, Mom?" he asked, trying again.

"I don't know."

"Who robbed your house!?"

"I don't know!"

Steve stood up and started to pace. To say he was frustrated would be an understatement. "Okay," he finally said, trying a different approach. "What was in the safe?"

"It was a microfiche," Doris honestly told him after tears brimmed to the surface of her eyelids. "It had un-redacted action reports from my entire career in covert ops." She started to cry. "It had names."

He couldn't believe it. How could his mother be so stupid to hold on to that sort of information?  
"Mom, that is incredibly dangerous information," he told her. "It can get you killed. It can get me killed." He shook his head, not quite able to control his anger anymore. "It can get my daughter killed!" He let that sink in for a minute. "How long did you have it?"

"Since I left the CIA."

"Where did you keep it all those years?" He almost wished he hadn't asked the question.

"Here under the floorboards in the office."

His anger boiled to the surface again. "You brought it into this house! With Dad and Mary and me? Was it here when my daughter used to visit Dad?"

"You don't understand," Doris said, intentionally not answering his question about Alex. "It was to keep you all safe."

"No, Mom," he argued.

"Yes," she insisted forcefully. "It was my leverage, my insurance policy. In case anyone ever came after me. It was what kept us safe."

"So long as nobody knew where it was," he stated, unable to look at her anymore.

"It's all I had."

He took one last look at her and then walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him. He headed directly for his truck, climbing into the driver's seat and sitting there for a few minutes as he willed his body to calm down. When his body had calmed down, when his anger had subsided enough to not make him a distracted driver, he put his seatbelt on and turned the key into the ignition. It was only when he glanced in his rearview mirror that he spotted his daughter and Anchor sitting in the backseat. Not saying anything, he turned and looked at her.

Alex, who had heard her dad's conversation with Doris through the open window at the front of the house and then had headed to the truck to hide out, said, "I'm scared to be alone with her."

After keeping eye contact with her for a long minute, Steve finally nodded and then turned back around and started driving away from the house.

* * *

He wasn't really sure what had allowed him to find her. He wasn't even sure if that was his intention when he had left the house. All he knew was that he had driven in the direction that the pull in his heart had led him to take. Slowly pulling his truck in behind her car, he had sat there for a few minutes just looking at her through the windshield. Catherine was standing there, looking out at the water, her beautiful brown locks blowing in the breeze behind her. He loved her and, even though he was still hurt and disappointed by her betrayal, maybe his daughter had been right. Maybe he needed to fight for their relationship. Maybe he owed it to her to at least hear her out.

Finally, without saying a word to his daughter, he got out of the truck and walked towards her. He didn't say anything to her as he approached her. When he reached her, she turned to face him, which proved that even though she hadn't been looking at him, she had sensed that it was him approaching her. "I am so sorry," she said to him, her tone honest and guilt-laden. "I should have told you."

It sounded like the most sincere apology he had ever heard and it made him think that maybe his daughter and mother had been right: Catherine had not intentionally hurt him. Without saying a word, he kissed her, drinking in the taste of her lips on his. He brought one hand up to cup the back of her head and reveled in the feel of her hands on his cheeks. Pulling back from her, he gazed into her eyes for several long moments and then he hugged her, holding her tight and resting his face in the crook of her neck. Breathing in the smell of her, he said, "Please come back home."

* * *

**A/N: Please leave a review! Mahalo!**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: This chapter is kind of dialogue heavy and I'll give fair warning that Danny and Steve have a moment where they discuss a certain stage of a girl's life that makes every man uncomfortable. I personally think it's funny but some of you might find it disgusting. Additionally, part of this was written in response to a request from lilAzIaNpride24. AND, I got writers block about halfway through this so, as my muse usually does when that happens, a certain character ended up being "tortured". **

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!**

**Sunny irish – Hehe, yeah, Alex and Josh may as well be official… if only Steve would realize that they are basically dating without the official title, lol! Alex really has come a long way, hasn't she? Seth's story is far from over ;) Thanks for reviewing!**

**JMReagan – Thank you! I really feel that Steve needed to hear it from someone other than his mother. Cath loves him and he loves her. He just needed to hear it a couple of times (he can be so hard-headed sometimes)! Thanks for reviewing!**

**AnonGuest – Thank you! Haha, yeah, Alex LOVES to push his buttons and it will only get worse. Can I just give you a glimpse into the future (yes, I already know where they will all be eight years from now ;) )? Let me just say that her days of pushing his buttons are far from over : -) Thanks for reading!**

**Angel – lol, yep, one of her favorite things is to mess with her dad ;) I have a feeling Steve's stress level is going to go through the roof once his daughter turns 16. Thanks for reading!**

**Lacey21 – Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!**

**Jean25 – Thank you! That's quite a compliment. Glad you are enjoying the story!**

**Francis2 – I think them breaking up would be extremely detrimental to Alex's well-being and I think that's why she fought for her family the way she did. I'm glad McRoll didn't break up too. Thanks for reading!**

**Craftygirl11 – Haha, every time I re-read that conversation between Steve and Alex, I laugh, too. Seth's story isn't over yet ;) and, as you will see in this chapter, Seth has to work things out with more than just Josh now. I don't think I'm going to do that episode, sorry to disappoint. Thanks for reading!**

**Rolodexthoughts – I'm going to leave you all hanging about what's going on with Seth for awhile but, as you will read here, it's not just Josh he needs to work things out with now. Thanks for reviewing!**

**lilAzIaNpride24 – Thank you so much for your review! I love it when new readers stop in and "say" hi! Thanks, I love Steve and Cath, too, mostly because I think she's one of a few people who actually completely "get" Steve and can deal with his faults. She loves him for who he is and that's just perfect in my eyes : -) Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you continue to enjoy this story!**

**War sage – Thank you!**

**Guest – Thank you for reviewing! If anyone can get through to hard-headed Steve it's his daughter : -) **

**Aleja21 – Thank you so much! **

**FicreaderT – Thank you. Glad you enjoyed that part. Seth's story is far from over but it won't be revealed in this chapter. Eventually though! Thanks again!**

* * *

"Hey," Catherine said, moving her hand from the gear shift and placing it on Alex's leg. "You doing okay?" Alex had been extremely quiet throughout breakfast. On second thought, Alex had pretty much been quiet since the three of them had arrived back at the house last night. After Steve had found her on the beach and asked her to come back home, the two of them had headed over to their vehicles and Catherine had been surprised to see Alex and Anchor in Steve's truck. Alex had genuinely been excited to learn that she would be coming back home but, other than a brief conversation during which Alex had informed them of the reason she was no longer going to Seth's party, Alex had not said very much for the rest of the night. Granted, she had spent most of the evening in her room working on school assignments and studying but it had been like pulling teeth to get her to talk over dinner.

"I'm fine," Alex told her, glancing at her. "Just tired."

"You didn't sleep well?"

"Not really," Alex replied honestly. She had spent the night tossing and turning, trying to wrap her mind around what had happened to her core group of friends. Seth and Josh had their argument not even three days ago and, by yesterday morning, Seth had decided that he no longer wanted to be friends with Josh. That essentially equated to him no longer speaking to her either. To make things worse, at lunch yesterday, Seth broke up with Tracy which had been something none of them had been expecting. Tracy had, understandably, taken it pretty hard as there had been absolutely no signs of trouble between them.

"Would you like to talk about Seth?" Catherine asked her, reaching up and turning the volume down on the radio. "Or am I wrong to assume that's why you couldn't sleep?"

"No, you're not wrong," Alex told her. "And no I don't want to talk about it." She shrugged, resting her head back against the seat. "There's nothing to say. I don't understand Seth's recent behavior. None of us do." She glanced at Catherine again. "I just feel really bad for Tracy; I don't know how to help her."

"All you can do is be there for her when she needs someone to talk to," Catherine advised her. "Offer her a shoulder when she needs to cry. Heartache is something that has to heal on its' own."

"Yeah," Alex muttered, turning back to look out the window.

"Will she be at this breakfast?"

"No, her Mom's still out of town."

"Oh." Catherine hadn't realized that. The last she knew was that Tracy's mom had left for the mainland nearly a month ago now. "Tell you what. Why don't you invite Tracy to come out to dinner with us after your show tonight?"

"I'm pretty sure my Dad considers tonight the start of the weekend," Alex informed her. "Which means my grounding starts the second my show ends."

"Right," Catherine said, knowing that Steve had plans to hang with some of his Navy buddies tonight after Alex's show. She would be the parent tonight so if she decided to take Alex out for dinner then that was her prerogative. "Your punishment for calling your dad a stupid jerk."

"He told you?" Not waiting for a response, she crossed her arms in front of her and it was clear that she was frustrated. "Guess you're gonna yell at me now."

"No," Catherine told her. "Your dad already punished you for it. I'm just curious as to why you called him that."

"Because it's exactly how he was acting," Alex informed her. "I felt that he was being stupid for not letting you come home after you told him about that Mangosta guy and I called him a jerk for keeping you away from me."

"So it was to stick up for me?"

Alex shook her head. "I stood up for our family. He was being stupid by acting like our family didn't mean anything, by acting like he could just throw it all away."

"Honey, I don't think –"

"Would you have listened to him if he had told you to stay away from me?"

That question caught Catherine off guard. She was grateful to be pulling into the parking lot at the school; it gave her a minute to frame her thoughts. She pulled into a parking spot. "I don't think your Dad would do that."

"That's not what I asked but okay," Alex said, reaching down and unsnapping her seatbelt. She reached for the door handle but stopped when she felt Catherine's hand on her arm.

"I really believe that your Dad always does what he thinks is best for you," Catherine told her, witnessing the flash of disappointment in the teenager's eyes. "But," she continued, "_But_, if your Dad and I ever break up, if he ever tells me to stay away from you, then I will have to fight him on it. I would tell him that he's wrong. If I had to I would go behind his back and spend time with you." She gave Alex a smile while running a loving hand through her hair. "I'm completely, one hundred percent invested in you and no one, not even your Dad, will ever change that."

A relieved smile filled Alex's face. "Good," she said, expelling a relieved breath.

"Where did that question come from?" Steve had told her that Alex had been upset with him for how he had reacted after he had been told about Mangosta. But why did Alex have this fear that her father was going to tell Catherine to keep out of her life? Why did the teenager think her father would ever do that? Whatever the reason, she would be contacting Steve later to find out.

Ever since her Dad had told her that Catherine might not be making it to today's mother daughter breakfast, Alex had been thinking back to that day when she had been forced to make a choice between her parents. Even now, nearly a year and a half later, that memory still made her feel sick to her stomach. "I've already been put in the position where I had to pick between my parents. I don't want to do that again. I don't think I _can_ do that again."

"I will never put you in that position, Honey," Catherine assured her, squeezing Alex's arm. "I hate to break it to you but you are stuck with me for life."

Alex laughed. "I can think of worse people to be stuck with."

"Good," Catherine said, giving into a laugh. "Now what do you think about heading inside to this breakfast?"

They got out of the car and, after Alex grabbed her backpack of the back seat, they headed up the front walkway of the school. When they reached the top of the stairs, just outside the doors, Alex surprised Catherine by suddenly hugging her. "Thanks for doing this with me. My mom's idea of participating in school functions was donating money. We never did any of the mother-daughter events." She stepped out of the hug. "This really means a lot to me. More than you know."

* * *

"I'm telling you, Danny," Steve said, glancing across the desk at the other man. "It's puberty." He was referring to Grace, who, according to Danny, had started acting overly emotional – bi-polar like really – happy one minute, angry and crying the next. "She's going to…" he trailed off, cringing at the memory of when he had learned that Alex had experienced her first period. "Before too long you're going to have to start stocking up on sanitary pads and –"

"Stop," Danny told him, a conflicted look on his face. "Just stop."

"You think it's bad now," Steve continued as if he hadn't even heard Danny's plea. "Just wait until she has an accident and you're the only one around to help wash her clothes and sheets."

"Dammit, Steven," Danny said, "Just stop, okay?"

Steve grinned at Danny's discomfort, only because he had experienced what Danny would soon be facing and, believe it or not, he had managed to come out only relatively scathed. "Look, Danno, I know it's hard watching Gracie reach that stage of her life but if I survived Alex going through puberty than you can certainly survive Gracie's."

"Please, Steven," Danny pleaded. "Just stop." He knew that Grace had to grow up at some time but it all seemed to be happening far too quickly; wasn't she just a baby yesterday? "You were there when Alex… well, when _that_ happened? I thought you were –"

"Alex was an early bloomer," Steve informed him, knowing that Danny had assumed he had been deployed during that stage of Alex's development.

"Oh." Danny shifted uncomfortably in the chair. From the looks and sounds of it, Grace might prove to be an "early bloomer" too.

"Yeah," Steve continued. "Imagine my surprise when I show up for Christmas when Alex is eleven and I learn that she reached that milestone a month earlier."

"Eleven," Danny muttered, staring past Steve's head. "Grace isn't eleven yet."

"No, she's not," Steve acknowledged. "But apparently it can happen at ten. It did for Cindy." He caught the stressed look that crossed Danny's face briefly. "Relax, buddy. It'll be okay. Grace has Rachel to help her deal with it." He thought back to a conversation he and Catherine had last fall. "Thank goodness Alex has Cath."

"The emotional roller coaster that Grace has been on," Danny told him. "It's… I'm not sure I have the patience to deal with it all of the time."

A grin appeared on Steve's face. "That's when you hand them over to the women and let them deal with it." He laughed. "Who better to deal with a moody, hormonal girl than a woman who is also moody and hormonal once a month?" At that moment his cell phone started vibrating on the desktop. Glancing at the caller ID, he smiled and answered it, putting the phone on speaker. "Hey, babe," he greeted. "How was the breakfast?"

"It was nice," Catherine's voice came through the phone. "We volunteered to help plan the next one."

"Oh, that's nice," Steve told her. "Glad you enjoyed it." He glanced at the clock on his desk. "You headed to work?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Before I get to base there's something I need to ask you."

"No, Alex cannot have three hundred dollars to buy a dress." He and Alex had stopped by the mall one day last week and she had spotted some fancy looking dress in a storefront window. Since then, she had been asking him for permission to take money out of her account to buy it. His answer was still no.

"What?" Catherine asked him. "Alex wants a three-hundred dollar dress?"

"Oh, never mind," Steve replied, realizing that Alex must not have asked Catherine to convince him to give her the money. If she hadn't yet, it would only be a matter of time before she did. "What's up?"

"Did you happen to say something to Alex to make her feel like I would abandon her?"

"What?" Steve exclaimed. "I never said you were going to abandon her."

"Okay," Catherine replied, trusting that he had never used those very words. "But that doesn't explain why Alex seemed to think that I wouldn't be following through with our plans to go to this morning's breakfast. Or why she specifically asked me if I would obey you if you told me to stop spending time with her."

Steve didn't answer right away as realization dawned on him. "I, um, may have told her that you might not be going to the breakfast anymore."

He could hear Catherine expel a breath and he knew that she was trying to remain calm. "Why would you do that? What would make you even suggest something like that?" She expelled another breath. "You know that she already has abandonment issues and you –"

"Cath, I –"

"You know what, Steve?" She interrupted, her tone telling him just how upset she was with him. "I'll just talk to you about this tonight, okay? I…" she trailed off momentarily. "We'll talk tonight when you get home, okay?"

"Cath –"

"I'm almost to base," she told him. She had left her Bluetooth device at the house that morning and base regulations stated that talking on a cell phone without a hands free device was prohibited. "We'll talk tonight."

"Alright, fine," Steve told her, feeling a little bit of relief that he would have time to figure out his defense. "Have a good day at work. I love you."

"I love you, too," she replied. "But, just so you know, you better plan on sleeping on the couch tonight."

"Yeah," Steve muttered, reaching over and disconnecting the call. Abashed, he looked at Danny. "See what I mean? Hormonal woman."

Danny shook his head and laughed. "No. I was married once, remember? I know hormonal women when I see them and that," he said, pointing to Steve's phone. "That's just you in the doghouse, buddy."

"Doghouse?" Chin asked, stepping through Steve's open office door followed by Kono. Both of them carried stacks of case files in their arms.

"What did you do now, Boss?" Kono asked, setting the case files on the corner of Steve's desk. "These are all for you, by the way."

"These, too," Chin told him, adding his files to the pile started by his cousin.

"You're kidding me, right?" Steve asked, looking at both of them. It wasn't even ten o'clock yet and his employees were telling him they were done with their case files. That must explain why the cousins had both already been in the office when he arrived here two hours ago.

"Just waiting for your review and signature," Kono told him, smiling sweetly at him.

"Let me guess," Steve said, looking at each of his team members. "You're all going to head out now, leaving me all alone to finish these reports."

"That's what happens when you're in charge," Chin commented, earning laughs from Danny and Kono. "See you tonight at Alex's show," he continued, heading back out of Steve's office and stopping at the doorway. "Oh, yeah. What are you in the doghouse for?"

When Steve didn't answer, Danny spoke up. "Seems like genius here said something to make Alex think Catherine was going to walk out of her life which, considering Alex's abandonment issues, was _not_ the smartest thing to do."

"Danny," Steve said, glaring at his friend.

"Wow," Chin exclaimed. "Good luck talking your way out of that one."

"No wonder you're in the dog house," Kono stated.

"Wow, thanks guys," Steve stated. "Guess I know whose side you are on."

* * *

"What's going on with her?" Kono asked, her eyes following Tracy as the girl headed in the direction of the restaurant bathroom. She had met Catherine, Alex, and Tracy at Haleiwa Joe's Seafood and Grill less than an hour ago and, so far, the usually chatty Tracy had been quiet.

"She had a rough day," Alex answered, thinking back to how rude Seth had been to Tracy at lunchtime. All Tracy had done was walk up to him, to see how he was doing, and he had lashed out at her, telling her to leave him alone and to stay away.

"What do you mean, Honey?" Catherine asked. She had arrived at the auditorium early, nearly an hour before Alex's performance, and, as a result, she had been able to hang out backstage with the cast, helping the girls get into their costumes and fix their hair. She had spent some one-on-one time with Alex before heading out to take her seat in the audience and, even though Alex had been moody and rude, she hadn't mentioned anything about Tracy having had a rough day.

"Seth." That was all Alex offered as she didn't feel the need to rehash everything that had led to Tracy's misery.

"Seth?" Kono asked with a confused expression on her face. "I thought –"

"Seth broke up with her yesterday," Catherine explained. "And that was after he decided to cut Josh and Alex out of his life, too."

"Wow," Kono said, looking at Alex who kept glancing anxiously in the direction of the bathroom. "I'm surprised by that."

"Yeah, me too," Alex muttered. Tapping her fingers on the table top, she added, "Wish I had my phone."

"You should have thought about that," Catherine reminded her. "_Before_ you called your dad names."

"You know why I did it," Alex replied, turning her head to look at her. "You would have done the same thing if you were me."

Catherine shrugged her shoulders. "That doesn't mean your Dad was wrong in punishing you. What do you want your phone for anyway?"

"I just do, okay," Alex stated roughly as she turned her head away from Catherine.

"Hey," Catherine said as she reached over and put a hand under Alex's chin, forcing Alex's face to turn towards her. "You need to watch your attitude. That's the third time I've had to tell you that this evening and I have no problem adding to the punishment you already have. Stop with the attitude. Got it?"

Alex gently slapped Catherine's hand away from her chin. "Wow, when did you turn into my jerk Dad?"

"That's it!" Catherine exclaimed, her tone expressing that she had had enough of the teenager's attitude. "There will no longer be shopping or a trip down to the water after we eat." Due to the restaurant being entirely crowded, it was taking longer than normal to get their food. "As soon as we eat we are going home."

"Whatever," Alex mumbled under her breath.

"_And_ you are now grounded next weekend, too."

"What?!" Alex exclaimed. "But –"

"You want me to add the following weekend, too?" That immediately made the teenager shut up. "That's what I thought," Catherine stated, still trying to understand what had happened during the time between the breakfast that morning and the show earlier that would have caused Alex to turn into a mouthy kid again. She didn't really care what had caused Alex's crappy attitude; it wasn't an excuse for Alex to act like a brat. "Anything you want to say to me?"

"Nope," Alex replied sharply, popping the 'p'. "I'm gonna go check on Tracy." With that, she made a quick exit from the table.

"Wow," Kono commented once Alex was out of earshot. "What was that all about?"

Catherine shook her head. "No idea."

"You've got your hands full," Kono observed. "Between her attitude and Steve being in the doghouse…" she trailed off. "But it looks like you've got the mom role down pat."

Catherine sighed. "Thanks. I try. She makes it very difficult sometimes – they both do. I love her as if she were my own but…" she trailed off, bringing her beer bottle to her lips and taking a swig. "How'd you know that Steve's in the doghouse?"

"Danny."

Catherine nodded in understanding. "Enough about the craziness in my house," she said, setting the bottle back down on the table. "How are things with Adam?"

"Good," Kono replied, a satisfied smile appearing on her face as she thought back to why she had not attended Alex's show earlier that evening. Some alone time with Adam, in his bedroom and then again in his shower… it had certainly brought a smile to her face and a good feeling to all other parts of her body. "His flight left right before I came here."

"How long will he be gone for?"

"A couple of days."

"I'm guessing he's the reason for that big smile you had on your face when you got here," Catherine commented, grinning at the slight blush that appeared on Kono's face. "It's that good, huh?"

"It's amazing. The best I ever had."

"What's amazing?" Alex nosily asked as she and Tracy took their seats at the table.

When Catherine saw Kono's blush spread, she answered, "We were just talking about her relationship with Adam."

"Oh," Alex stated. "That's cool that everything is going well with him." Looking across the table at Tracy, she explained, "Adam is Kono's boyfriend."

"Oh," Tracy said. "Is he a cop, too?"

"No," Kono replied. "He's… a businessman." She wasn't even sure if Alex knew exactly whose Adam family was or the kind of business his family had been in, she wasn't about to tell Tracy all of those details.

"A _cute_ businessman," Alex added. "What?" she asked when everyone turned their eyes on her. "Just because I'm a teenager doesn't mean I'm blind. Just because he's more than twice my age doesn't mean I can't think he's good looking."

"Don't let your Dad hear you say that," Catherine told her. When Alex mumbled something under her breath, Catherine asked, "What was that?"

"Nothing," Alex replied, sliding sideways in the booth a little to put some more distance between the two of them. She was already in enough trouble and she needed to remember to watch her mouth around Catherine. "So things are going good with him?"

Kono nodded. "They are going great."

"Is Chin handling it better?" Catherine asked her friend.

"Why doesn't Chin like him?"

"Stop being so nosy," Catherine chided. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn't be so quick to scold Alex but her patience had worn thin. She really hoped their food would be delivered soon because she was more than ready to send the teenager to her room for the night.

"It's complicated," Kono said, answering Alex's question. Turning her attention back to Catherine, she answered, "He's gotten better. I think so, anyways." She shrugged. "At least none of the guys openly express their unease about it anymore."

"Good," Catherine commented.

"Does he treat you well?" Alex ignored the look of annoyance that Catherine sent her way. "Do you love him?" Alex shrugged. "The way I see it, if you love each other and he treats you well, then who cares what anyone else thinks."

* * *

_The liquid was cold on her feet; some of the beverage squished between her toes. The man's arm was like a vise across her chest, tightening with every passing second. Something metallic rested against the bare skin of her neck. She found it hard to breathe and she felt like her heart was getting ready to pound its' way out of her chest. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion; the screams from the crowd had long ago gone silent. She silently willed herself to remain calm; fighting whomever had grabbed her would only make things worse. _

_It seemed like hours had passed before she saw her dad running towards them, his gun drawn and wearing a bulletproof vest and thigh holster. He skidded to a stop in front of them; she saw the flash of panic in his eyes before the SEAL in him took over. He put his gun in his thigh holster, holding his hands up in the air. "You don't want to do this. Let the girl go." _

"_You mean your daughter, Commander McGarrett?" The man's accent was thick and, somewhere in the back of her mind, it sounded somewhat familiar. Yet, as hard as she tried, she couldn't place it. "Isn't that right, Alexandra?" the man asked as he started to lightly drag the knife tip against her cheek. "This man's your daddy." _

_She didn't answer him as she focused on her dad. She looked into his eyes, hoping they would shed some light on how they could get out of this, on how he could save her. She wanted to keep herself from crying but she was too terrified; she could pretty much feel the fear coursing through her veins. _

"_Answer me!" the man yelled, pressing harder with the knife. Alex could feel the skin on her cheek tearing; the blood started dripping down her cheek. _

"_You son-of-a-bitch!" her dad yelled, grabbing his gun again and aiming it at the man. "You—"_

"_Dad," she pleaded tearfully, finally giving into the tears. She could feel them mingling with the blood as they made their way down her face. "Daddy." _

"_Shut up!" the man yelled, as he wrapped his left arm tighter around her. It felt like he was crushing her but that was minimal to the feeling of the cool metal of the knife tip being pressed against her neck. _

_Her dad started yelling at the man, asking him about what he wanted and promising to give him whatever he wanted as long as he let her go. Her eyes drifted downward, landing on the ink of the tattoo on the man's wrist. A simple pentagram inked in black. That, too, was eerily familiar. She searched her brain, trying to trigger a memory that would provide some clue as to who this man, who apparently knew her _and_ her dad, was. She heard the man shouting at her dad, stating that this had nothing to do with him. Then it dawned on her. She knew exactly where she had seen that tattoo before; she knew who the voice belonged to, even if the man didn't look the same anymore. "He's Boris, Dad!" She screamed, wincing as the knife pierced the skin of her neck. "His tattoo." _

"_Alex, it's going to be okay. I promise. Boris, I—"_

"_Shut up! Stop talking!" This time Boris' arm pressed forcefully against her windpipe and she gasped for breath. She flinched every time the knife tapped against her bloody cheek. "This is what's going to happen," Boris continued, pointing the knife at her dad. "You are going to stand there and let your daughter and I go for a walk." _

_Alex's eyes drifted past her dad, landing on Catherine who appeared behind him. "Mom!" _

_The knife started tapping against her skin again. Boris spoke. "It's time I show your daughter what happens to people who steal." _

"_Dad!" she pleaded again. _

"_It's going to be okay, Sweetheart," her dad assured her as he holstered his weapon again. "Just go with him for now. It will be okay."_

"_Dad, no!" she screamed. "Mom!"_

"_We love you, Alex," Catherine told her. "But your Dad is right: it's time you go with Boris now." Catherine placed her hand in Steve's. "C'mon, Babe. Let's go home." _

Alex woke up with a start to the sound of Anchor barking incessantly. Her heart was pounding heavily and she was soaking wet with sweat. The soreness in her throat told her that she must have been screaming for awhile. She jumped when something touched her back and her arms flailed about in defense until they struck something.

"It's just me, Honey."

Alex reeled back, out of reach of Catherine, and hugged her knees to her chest. "You left."

"It was a bad dream but you're safe now."

"You left. You and Dad let him take me," Alex insisted, rocking in place.

"No, Honey," Catherine insisted, scooting closer to the teenager and reaching for her with a tentative arm. Successful, she wrapped her arm around Alex and pulled her close. They had gotten home from dinner a few hours ago and Alex had immediately headed to her room. By the time Steve had gotten home an hour and a half later, Alex was asleep. Catherine and Steve had only barely begun to discuss why he was in the doghouse with her when he had been called to a case. She kind of wished he was here now, to show the terrified teenager that he was still here, but, at the same time, she was glad he wasn't: this was so painful to watch. "Dad and I will never leave you."

"You left me," Alex said again, expelling a shaky breath which matched the anxiety coursing through her body. "You…"

"I'm right here, Alex," Catherine assured her, dropping a kiss to the top of Alex's sweat soaked head. "I'm right here and you are safe."

**A/N: As always, please read and review! Mahalo!**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews last chapter! Please forgive me for not thanking you each individually this chapter. For those of you who have been asking for more Alex/Josh… hope you enjoy a small part of this! FicreaderT... your wish is my command! **

* * *

Steve saw the panic in his daughter's eyes the moment she stepped foot inside the kitchen. When she turned around and sped out of the room, he knew exactly what thoughts were going through her mind, he knew where she was headed. He followed her out of the kitchen, watching as she raced up the stairs. He reached her when she opened the door to his bedroom; a sigh of relief came over her.

"She didn't leave," Steve told her, his voice just above a whisper. "She's still here." He covered his daughter's hand which was on the doorknob and pulled the door closed. "She's not awake yet." He had gotten home around three-thirty that morning. His pillow and a blanket had been stacked on the floor outside of their bedroom and a note stuck on top told him that he was banished to the couch. At that point he was too tired to even attempt to sneak into bed beside Catherine. Of course, as was normal when it came to nights spent on the couch, sleep had been hard to come by. After two hours of tossing and turning, he had given up on the ever elusive sleep and had gone for a swim. He had just returned to the house and put a pot of coffee on to brew when Alex had stepped into the kitchen.

Withdrawing her hand from underneath his, she pushed past him and headed back downstairs. He followed her into the kitchen, pouring himself a steaming cup of coffee while watching her search the refrigerator for something to eat. When she finally pulled out a carton of eggs and other fresh ingredients for an omelet as well as some turkey bacon from the freezer, he spoke up. "Mind if I join you for breakfast?"

"Why?" Alex asked, turning around to face him.

"What do you mean why?"

"Well, usually when someone asks 'why' it's because they are trying to determine for what reason or purpose –"

"I see that you still haven't dropped the attitude you had last night," Steve commented, setting his coffee cup down on the counter and crossing his arms in front of his chest. He had talked to Catherine briefly, right after she and Alex had gotten home last night, and she had informed him that Alex's grounding had been extended to next weekend, too. Of course, she had also made it a point to remind him that he would be spending the night on the couch, if he made it back before they were up for the day.

"Yeah, well," Alex replied, mimicking his stance. It essentially looked like a face off in the middle of the kitchen. "Maybe I still have a reason to have an attitude."

"I don't care what your reason is," he scolded her. "It's no excuse for you to be rude to Catherine. You need to stop disrespecting her and –"

"So it's okay for you to get mad at your mom sometimes but I can't?" Alex interrupted him. "Now you're a hypocrite."

"Two more weeks, Alex!" Steve told her, his voice louder than before. "And that's on top of Catherine's added punishment." That now made an entire month where Alex would be stuck inside the house on the weekends with no phone, Facebook, or Skype to help occupy her time. Maybe she would put that time to good use, reflecting on how not to disrespect her parents.

"You know what," she said, glaring at him. "I changed my mind. I'm not hungry." Turning, she hurried out of the kitchen, nearly bumping into Catherine as she stepped into the living room.

"What's wrong, Honey?" Catherine asked, reaching a hand out to stop Alex. The teenager just shook her head and pushed past her. When she reached the stairs, she picked up her pace, running up them two at a time. Her quick departure ended with a forceful slam of her bedroom door. "What did you do?" Catherine asked, turning around to face Steve.

"Why do you assume that I did something?"

"Well, let's see, Steve," Catherine said, her hands on her hips. "She came running out of the kitchen upset and _you_ were the only one in there with her."

"The only thing I did was ground her for two more weekends," Steve informed her as headed back into the kitchen. "And if she doesn't get rid of that attitude soon, if she doesn't stop mouthing off, she'll be grounded even longer."

Catherine sighed and followed him into the kitchen. Leaning against the door frame, she stated, "I'm not saying she has an excuse to be disrespectful but did you even try to find out _why_ she's acting the way she is?"

"She's probably worried about her friends," Steve suggested, intentionally not answering Catherine's question. "Trying to figure out what's going on with Seth. Or maybe she's just stressed about her upcoming exams."

"That could be part of it, I suppose," Catherine replied, crossing her arms in front of her as she watched him. "But there's more to it than that."

He could sense where this conversation was leading. "Let me guess: you blame me."

Catherine moved off the wall and walked over to him. "I don't think you intentionally meant to her but, babe, she…" She sighed. "She had a really bad nightmare last night."

"She's had nightmares before, Cath," Steve reminded her. "You know that. The only people responsible for them are Wo Fat, Boris Balakov, and Martin Engler. If she had never been kidnapped, she wouldn't have those nightmares."

She expelled a breath to prepare herself for the argument she sensed would be coming. "Her nightmare last night was different and, as much as I hate feeling this way, I honestly believe that it stemmed from what you said to her the other day. I—"

"So her nightmare was not related to her kidnapping?"

"It was related to Boris."

"So, again, as I said earlier –"

"Steve," Catherine stated firmly, placing a hand on top of his which rested on the countertop. "Last night's nightmare involved us – you _and_ me – walking away from her, _abandoning_ her, and letting Boris take her." She noticed the look in his eyes, the one that told her he was finally seeing the error of his ways, and she nodded. "It's not just you in her nightmares anymore. It's not just you that she fears will abandon her. That girl is scared to death that I'm going to walk out on her just like her mother did."

"Are we sure that this was the first one that you were in?"

"I can't be one hundred percent sure," Catherine admitted. "Because she never shares with us the details of her nightmares _but_ this was the first one where, after waking up, she stated that I was there, too."

"So you think my misplaced comment, my moment of not thinking before I spoke, is what triggered it?"

"I think it's a possibility," she told him, stroking her thumb along the back of his hand. "And, as her parents, we'd be doing her a disservice if we don't do what we can to try to make this better."

"So you want me to go apologize to her," Steve guessed, running a hand along the stubble on his jaw line. "And tell her that, once again, her big idiot of a dad screwed up?"

Catherine shook her head. "No." She brought her hand up to his face and stroked his cheek with her thumb. "We're in this together, Babe." She gave him an encouraging smile. "I think we should try to figure this out together while we make breakfast and _then_ we can go upstairs and talk to her."

* * *

"Go away," Alex said, her voice muffled by her pillow. The triple knock on her door resounded again. "Go away!" she shouted, lifting her head off the pillow so her voice could be heard better.

"Alex, Honey, it's just me," Catherine's voice came through the door. "I brought you something to eat."

Alex sighed and waited a minute as she thought about what to do. Her stomach made the decision for her so she stood up and walked over to her door. Unlocking it, she opened the door and was greeted by not only Catherine, who was holding two plates of food, but also her dad, who had a plate of food in one hand and a jug of orange juice topped with three plastic cups in the other. "You tricked me," Alex told Catherine, glaring at her dad.

"Too bad," Catherine told her, pushing her way into the room which made Alex take a few steps backwards. "Don't let me catch you with your door locked again," Catherine scolded her, walking over to Alex's desk and setting down the plates, before sending the teenager a pointed look. Alex knew that one of the ground rules in their house was to never lock her bedroom door; for safety reasons, she needed to keep it unlocked.

"And I won't tell you again: stop slamming your door," Steve added, setting the jug of orange juice and his plate down on Alex's desk before stepping back out of the room.

"If that's the only reason you came up here – to reprimand me – then you can leave now," Alex said, not caring how rude she was acting.

"Alexandra Isabelle McGarrett," Catherine said, speaking in a tone that instantly made Alex regret her tone of voice. "You better drop the attitude right now. Do you understand me, young lady?"

Alex swallowed hard. She hated – absolutely _hated_ – hearing someone use all three of her names together – it had always signified her being in trouble – especially when Catherine was the one to say them. Basically it meant that she was due to be in _big_ trouble. "Yes, Ma'am."

"Good," Catherine said, her voice no longer stern. "Sit down; let's eat."

"I have homework I need to do," Alex told her when her dad walked back in carrying two chairs from the dining room. Sensing that the meal would consist of some sort of lecture, she wanted nothing more than getting out of eating breakfast with her parents.

"You're stuck inside the house all weekend," Catherine reminded her, dropping into the chair that Steve had set down for her. "I think you have plenty of time to get your homework done, don't you?"

Alex sighed but swallowed the retort she wanted to express. Resolved to her fate, she sat down in her desk chair and started to eat the food her parents had prepared for her. She managed to sneak Anchor two small pieces of turkey bacon while she bided her time before whatever lecture her parents had planned for her would begin.

"Catherine told me about your nightmare." Alex glanced at her dad when he finally spoke but she didn't say anything in response. "Alex," he prodded in a tone that told her she better reply to him. Or else.

"Okay, she told you about my nightmare," Alex said, pushing her food around on her plate with her fork. "So what?"

Steve expelled a breath as he reached over and placed a hand on top his daughter's. "I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to be completely honest with me." Nodding towards Catherine, he added, "With us."

"I'm not going to tell you every detail of my nightmare."

"I know," Steve replied. "I'm not going to ask you to."

"Okay."

"Okay," Steve said before asking, "Was that the first time that Catherine has been in your nightmare?"

"Yes," Alex replied quietly, her eyes downcast as if she were ashamed for having had the nightmare.

"I know it's hard, Sweetheart," Steve told her. "I know nightmares are terrifying but you just have to try to remind yourself that Catherine wasn't at the cabin."

"That's not where the nightmare took place," Alex said softly as she subconsciously lifted a hand to her neck. Her fingers brushed over the spot where Boris had held a knife, the spot where he had drawn blood.

Watching his daughter's actions, Steve's mind flashed back to that day; his memories were as clear as if they had happened yesterday. "Outside the smoothie shop."

Neither Catherine nor Steve missed the anxiety that quickly came over the teenager. The shaking of her hand, the tapping of her foot, the look in her eyes that told them her mind was remembering that day; all of these things were unsuccessfully masked by Alex before she stood up and stepped over to the window. The teenager leaned against the window pane, her face turned slightly so she was looking outside, and her arms were crossed in front of her chest. She closed her eyes and started performing some meditative breathing exercises as she willed her body to fight off the impending anxiety attack.

When Alex finally appeared to relax, Catherine spoke up. "We need to ask you another question." When Alex turned to look at her, she continued, "Do you think that your nightmare – do you think me being in your nightmare – may have been triggered by what your dad said to you earlier this week?"

Alex glanced at her dad and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know."

"You can be honest, Sweetheart," Steve told his daughter. "If I'm to blame –"

"I don't know, Dad," Alex told him. "It might be but maybe something else is to blame, too." _Like the play. Ever since I started performing the role of Fantine, ever since I learned more about her character, I've found myself thinking more and more about abandonment as well as sacrifice. It makes me think of Mom: she abandoned me but I also believe she sacrificed her life for me. It makes me fear being abandoned again… by you… by Catherine. I am so scared that you both will leave me to navigate the rough waters of life all by myself._

"Something else?" Steve asked, sending a curious glance towards Catherine. "Like what?" When Alex just shrugged and turned away, he knew that his daughter would not be explaining any further. He got out of his chair and stepped towards her. Brushing hair off of her face, he apologized. "I am so sorry for what I said. I realize now how detrimental it was to you and how negatively it affected your sense of security. I never should have said it and I am sorry."

"You're right," Alex stated, looking up at him. "You shouldn't have."

"Can you forgive me?"

Alex glanced at Catherine, who was still sitting in a chair at the desk, before looking back at him. "Will you say the same thing the next time you and Mom have a fight?"

Steve took a few moments to respond. "I can't promise that I'll never say anything stupid again," he told her. "But I _can_ promise to never ask Catherine to stop spending time with you." His daughter looked at him skeptically and he knew that it would take more than just an apology from him to convince her that he would never force Catherine to walk away from her. "I have an idea," he told her, thinking back to what he and Catherine had discussed downstairs. "Maybe it will help you feel a little more secure and help with your fear of Catherine abandoning you."

The expression in his daughter's eyes told him he had piqued her interest. "What's your idea?" she asked him, relaxing her body posture as she did.

"Well," Steve started, glancing back at Catherine and giving into a smile. "It's about the adoption."

"What about it?" Alex asked as she stepped back over to her chair and sat down before she continued eating her food.

"As you know," Steve said, joining his daughter and fiancé at the desk. "We were going to wait until our wedding day to finalize the adoption." During one of his and Catherine's discussions about their upcoming nuptials, they had decided the course of action to take with Alex's adoption as well. They had decided, since Alex and he had both "proposed" on the same day, that the wedding day would also be Alex's adoption day. After everything that had occurred over the last week, as well as Alex's most recent nightmare, they had decided while making breakfast that perhaps it would be better if Catherine adopted Alex sooner rather than later. That way, if he were to ever make the same sort of idiotic comment again, Alex would have the reassurance of knowing that, regardless of what he said to her, legally he could not keep Catherine away from her.

Alex nodded. "Right."

Steve reached over and placed a hand on Catherine's thigh, squeezing it affectionately, as he smiled at his daughter. "Catherine and I were thinking we could move up your adoption which would mean that, legally, she would be your mom _before_ we get married."

"That's allowed?"

Catherine and Steve both nodded. "Yes, it is," Catherine answered. When Alex didn't say anything for a couple of minutes, she asked, "Is that something that you would like us to do? File the papers early so I can adopt you sooner?"

A bright smile appeared on the teenager's face. "I'd love that."

"Great!" Steve and Catherine both exclaimed. "We'll work on the paperwork this weekend and submit it on Monday," Steve told her, earning a grin from Alex.

"How about we also start having mother-daughter dates?" Catherine proposed. Sure, she and Alex had had "girl days" on a few occasions but most of those had been something they had planned on the spur of the moment. They never had days set aside for just the two of them. At least not like Alex and Steve had for their father-daughter dates. "I know we're both busy – you with school and me with work – but how about we try to do something, just the two of us, at least once a month?"

"That'd be great," Alex said, enthusiastically. She chewed on the inside of her cheek for a few moments. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"It would also help me if you start referring to her as 'Mom'."

"What?" he asked, confused. "Don't I already?"

Alex shook her head. "Not really. Take this conversation for example. You said that _Catherine_ and you were thinking about moving up my adoption and that you promised to never ask _Catherine_ to stop spending time with me. Before that you asked if my nightmare was the first one that involved _Catherine_. Never once did you refer to her as Mom."

"Okay," Steve replied. "It's going to take some time for me to get out of the habit of referring to her by her first name when I'm talking to you but I'll do my best to start referring to her as Mom."

"Thanks," Alex said with a smile on her face. "So are you both gonna be busy today?"

"Not unless I get called to a case," Steve answered her. "Why?"

"I need your help studying for Japanese," Alex told him. Then, looking at Catherine, she added, "And will you be able to look over my English paper?"

"Sure," Catherine told her. "I think I can manage that." She laughed. "As long as it's not your physics homework." She had not been terrible at physics when she had taken it in both high school and at the Academy; Steve was just far better suited to help their daughter when she had questions about the subject.

"Oh, yeah," Alex said, grinning at her dad. "I'll need your help with that, too."

* * *

"Dad's taking us Ziplining on Saturday," Josh told her as he spun the combination lock to the last number and opened his locker. "He said we could each invite a friend. You wanna go?"

"I'd love to," Alex replied, slipping her left arm through the shoulder strap of her backpack. The heavy bag was now equally balanced on her back. "But I can't."

"Oh," Josh said as he pulled textbooks and notebooks out of the locker and put them into his backpack.

"I'm grounded for the next three weekends."

Josh stopped what he was doing and looked at her. "Weren't you _just_ grounded this past weekend?"

Alex nodded. "Yep. What started as one weekend turned into four."

Josh shook his head as he resumed gathering the books he would need to complete tonight's homework. "What'd you do this time?"

"Mouthed off to my parents."

"You really need to stop doing that," he told her, zipping his backpack shut and closing his locker. "At this rate I'm never going to get to see you on the weekends and that will be a huge problem when we finally start dating."

"Oh," Alex said, giving him a teasing smile. "So it's for purely selfish reasons that you don't want me to be grounded."

He grinned at her as he stepped closer until there was barely any space between them. "I happen to enjoy spending time with you and I miss you when we don't get to hang out together." He reached a hand up and started playing with a strand of her hair. "I look forward to getting to call you my girlfriend and I hope that, when that day comes, that we actually get to spend time together on the weekends instead of you being grounded all the time." He shrugged. "And yeah, I guess that makes me selfish, but oh well."

"I like spending time with you, too," Alex said, glancing to their left and right. Seeing that the coast was clear, she stood on her tiptoes and placed a quick, barely there kiss on his lips. "For the record," she added, when she was standing normally again. "I'm not the only one of us who gets grounded; don't you still owe your Dad one hundred dollars for going over your texting limit?"

"It was only seventy-five dollars," Josh clarified, referring to the event from a few weeks ago. On top of owing his dad money for the phone bill, he had also been grounded for a week, unable to use his cell phone for anything but emergencies. "And, besides," he added, running a thumb across her cheek. "I had been texting you."

"So you're blaming me?"

Josh shook his head. "No, I'm just saying it was worth it." He grinned at her and brought his mouth down on hers. Hearing someone clear their throat, he pulled back and looked to their left to see a teacher – Ms. Essick – looking at them. "This was worth it, too," he whispered before they turned to face their English teacher.

"Joshua Sullivan and Alexandra McGarrett," Ms. Essick scolded. "Do I need to remind you about our rules for PDA at this school?"

"No, Ma'am," both teenagers replied. "Hand holding is allowed. Hugs can only last five seconds and kissing isn't allowed on school property," Josh explained, summarizing the paragraph written about the topic in their school handbook.

"Alright," Ms. Essick said. "Since this is the first time I've caught you, I will be nice and let you both off with a warning. Next time, though, I will have to report you to Principal Kamiya."

"Yes, Ma'am," the teenagers said. "It won't happen again." Once their teacher went back inside her classroom, Alex turned and swatted Josh on the arm.

"Ouch," Josh said, rubbing his arm and exaggerating the pain of the hit. "What was that for?"

"For almost getting me in trouble."

Josh shrugged as they turned and started walking towards the main entrance of the school. "It was worth it."

"Would it be worth it if my Dad found out?"

He shrugged again before looking at her and grinning teasingly. "I'd just tell him you started it."

Alex just shook her head. After all, she had technically kissed him first, even if her lips had barely touched his. "Even if you did tell him that, my Dad still wouldn't like you kissing his little girl. He might not let you date me after all."

Pushing open the front door of the school, they stepped outside. "He already gave me his permission and I'll hold him to that."

"What?" Alex said, stopping in place as he continued down the stairs. "He – you – he gave you his permission to date me?"

Stopping on the bottom step, he turned and looked at her. "When you're sixteen."

"When did this conversation happen?" Her dad had never informed her that Josh had asked for his permission to date her once she was old enough.

Josh shrugged. "Couple of weeks ago, I guess." Holding his hand out for her to take, he continued, "C'mon. Mind if we head to Seth's before we go study?" He had seen Seth that morning – from a distance, of course – hanging out on the far edge of the parking lot that morning with a group of boys that he didn't recognize. Yet, Seth had not been present in homeroom that morning nor had he been at lunch or at any other class throughout the day. Even though Seth was still not talking to him, Josh sensed that something was very wrong with him. Maybe it was nothing more than Seth having gotten sick before the morning bell had rung; he wanted to stop by Seth's house, even if he was uninvited, just to ease the feeling of dread that had settled in his gut by ten that morning.

* * *

"He hasn't come home from school yet."

Alex opened her mouth to tell Seth's mom that he had never been at school that day but the look Josh sent her told her to be quiet. "Oh," Josh told Seth's mom. "We must have missed seeing him before we left. I'll, um, try giving him a call later."

"Okay. I will let him know you both stopped by," Seth's mom told them. "It's so good to see that you're both doing better."

"Better?" Josh and Alex asked her, confused by her comment.

"Yes," she answered, "Seth said you both were sick. That's why you couldn't make it to his party."

"Oh," Josh said, continuing to play along. "Right." He took a step back from the door. "Well, take care, Ma'am. See you soon maybe." After Seth's mom bid them both goodbye, she closed the door and they turned to walk away. Alex didn't say anything as she watched the conflicted expression on Josh's face. When they reached their bikes, which were parked near the sidewalk, they each picked up their backpacks from the pavement and put them on. Straddling her bike, she grabbed her bike helmet where it had been hanging from the handlebars and put it on. "It doesn't make sense," Josh finally stated, snapping the chin strap of helmet so it was secure on his head. "She thinks he was at school today and she doesn't know that he has cut us out of his life."

"Josh –"

"I think he's in trouble, Alex," he finally admitted to her. "I have a really bad feeling about all of this."

"What do you want to do?" she asked him. "Do you want to go back up there and tell his mom the truth?"

Josh shook his head. "What if I'm over-reacting? I don't want her to worry if it's nothing, if it's him just deciding to ditch school for the day."

"What if you're not? What if he is in trouble?" For Seth to suddenly change his demeanor, for him to suddenly throw away his friendships, was completely out of character and Alex felt it was a sign that something was seriously wrong with their friend. When Josh didn't answer her, she suggested, "We could go to my Dad's office and talk to someone there about it."

He was silent for several long moments. Finally he nodded. "Okay, let's go to Five-0 Headquarters."

* * *

Steve knocked on his daughter's bedroom door and, without waiting for a response, pushed it open. His daughter was lying on her side, asleep in her bed. She looked so peaceful laying there with her brown hair fanned out on her pillow that he hated to wake her. Yet, before he had sent her home with Catherine earlier that evening, he had promised to keep her, as well as Jason and Josh Sullivan, informed on what his team had found out about Seth Akanu. At this point, his team did not have a lot of information but the little bit of information they had discovered was pretty significant.

It had surprised him when Alex and Josh had shown up at his office that afternoon as both teens were supposed to be at the Sullivan's studying for their SAT exam. He had been even more surprised when the teenagers had asked to talk to the team about some concerns they had about their friend Seth. Josh had done most of the talking, expressing his concerns about Seth's new choices for friends, his having skipped school that day, some weird and worrisome messages he had been posting on Facebook, and how Seth's mother was not aware of Seth having ended his friendship with Josh, Alex, and Tracy. In addition to that, Josh had told them that, on the few occasions when Seth had actually made eye contact with him over the last week, there had been something different in Seth's expression… something that suggested to Josh that Seth was scared and maybe even depressed. Both teens had acknowledged that maybe Seth was just going through a rebellious phase but their gut instinct told them that he was in trouble. After calling Jason to come pick up his son, Steve had promised the kids that the team would look into it.

Steve sighed. Walking over to his daughter's bed, he flipped on the lamp on the nightstand and then sat on the edge of her bed. Alex woke up – the light shone directly in her eyes – and squinted. "What –"

"Hey, Sweetheart," Steve greeted, looking down at her.

"Dad?" Alex looked at the digital clock on her nightstand and then, seeing that it was after midnight, she quickly sat up in bed. "Is Seth okay?"

"I, um, I don't know," Steve admitted. Seeing the confusion on his daughter's face, he explained, "Seth never came home tonight, Sweetheart."

"What?" Alex exclaimed with panic in her voice.

"We tried to locate his cell phone," Steve told her. "But it hadn't been turned on since he left his house this morning. We looked at his Facebook page but it didn't really give us any clues to what he might have been up to lately. There's nothing that might explain why he cut you, Josh, and Tracy out of his life or who his new friends are."

"You said he didn't come home."

Steve nodded. "I was on the way to his house to talk to his parents – one concerned parent to another – when Jason called me, telling me that Seth's dad had called him, wondering if Seth was at his house. Right after that, Mr. Akanu called me, looking for Seth."

"He's missing?" This time when she asked him a question, her voice was quavering.

Steve nodded again, placing a comforting hand on top of hers. "Yes. We don't know much more than that at this time. His parents have filed a missing persons report and tomorrow my team will continue looking into it with HPD."

"You gotta find him, Dad."

"I'm going to do my best."

* * *

**A/N: Don't hate me for the cliffhanger!**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter: AnonGuest, Angel, Craftygirl11, HBSpud, FicreaderT, sunny irish, Rolodexthoughts, JM Reagan, and war sage. Also thank you to the new readers who have pm'd me and/or added me to their favorites and follow list. **

**It's been a crazy, busy couple of weeks for me and I'm running on very little sleep but I hope my tiredness doesn't come through too much in this chapter. This chapter is full of family goodness :-) **

* * *

Alex knocked on her dad's open bedroom door, wondering if that would be enough to wake him up. He was sprawled out on his stomach, one leg sticking out from underneath the sheet, and lightly snoring into his pillow. Knowing how late it had been when he had gotten home, she hated to wake him but circumstances warranted her need to. She knocked again and when he didn't stir, she stepped into the room and over to the bed. Preparing to respond to his startle response, she placed a hand on his bare shoulder and shook him lightly. "Dad."

As expected, he startled, flipping over onto his back and reaching out to grab her. She jumped back, well outside his span of reach. Blinking blearily, Steve glanced at his daughter. "Geez, Alex," he muttered, silently berating himself for nearly knocking his daughter flat on her ass when he had startled awake. "What the hell time is it?"

"Six thirty," she answered. Confident that he was awake enough to not accidentally lay a hand on her, she sat on the edge of his bed. "I know you just got home less than three hours ago and that you haven't slept much the last couple of nights," she continued. "But my bike tire has a hole in it and we don't have anything to patch it and –"

"You don't have to be to school until nine today," Steve reminded her, sitting up in the bed.

"Yeah, I know," Alex answered. Today was one of those days which happened once a quarter, the day where all of the staff at her school had some big breakfast together, resulting in the students having a shorter day of school. "But I thought that maybe we could have breakfast together first." She shrugged. "Maybe down by the water? Or I could treat you to breakfast some place instead."

Steve studied her for a few moments, wondering what had happened to his argumentative and moody daughter of just a few days ago. In the three days since Seth's disappearance, Alex had returned to, what he described as, a very deep, contemplative and introspective state. She had been quiet but not to the point of withdrawing from social interaction. She was worried about her friend, of that there was no doubt, but she didn't appear to be depressed and, not once, had he or Catherine – more Catherine really since he was working long days and nights – witnessed any sign of her being panicky or anxious. He had expected to be hounded by his daughter or her friends on an hourly basis about the progress in locating Seth. Her friend was still missing but Alex had yet to bug him or any of the team for information on the case. "Are you okay?"

Alex nodded. "I am." She shrugged. "I just want to do something nice for you. Will you please let me buy you breakfast? You get to pick the restaurant."

Steve sensed there was something she wasn't telling him but he wasn't one to turn down father-daughter time, especially since they had had so little of it the last few days. "Okay. Let me shower first."

"It better be a Navy shower."

"Is there any other?" Steve asked, returning his daughter's grin. Nudging her off the bed until she stood up, he swung his legs until his feet were planted on the floor. "One other stipulation."

"What's that?"

Steve nodded at her. "You're not leaving the house looking like that."

"You bought me this skirt!"

Steve nodded. "I did but, from what I remember, it was longer than that. So you either unroll the waistband so it's back to the proper length _or_ you go put some pants on." When his daughter looked at him with a look of disbelief, he laughed. "You forget that you're my daughter and I know you."

"Fine," she said, lifting her shirt up slightly and completely unrolling the waistband of the skirt. When she was done, the skirt rested just above her knees. "There. Happy now?"

Steve grinned. "Very." He laughed at her again. "Now get out of here. I'll be downstairs in five minutes."

* * *

"You're doing it again," Steve commented, eying his daughter over the rim of his coffee mug.

"I'm doing what again?"

"Watching me," he answered. "Just like you were in the car for the entire drive here."

Alex shrugged. "So? You're my dad; I'm allowed to look at you."

Her comment made Steve smile; she had used his own line against him. "Okay," he said, setting his mug back down on the table. "Fair point." He sat back in the booth, crossing his arms in front him. "I guess I'm just curious about why you've been watching me so much lately. What do you see when you look at me?"

Alex didn't answer right away as she continued to study him. Finally, she answered him. "I see how much time and effort you've been putting into finding Seth. How hard you've been working. If you do that for my friend, I can only imagine what it was like for you when I was missing." She gave him a smile. "This whole thing with Seth missing… it's made me look at you differently."

"What do you mean?"

She didn't answer him directly. "Did Mom tell you that I've spent the last three mornings talking with Dr. Knight?"

Steve nodded. "She did but what does that have to do –"

"Over the last couple of days, I've realized some stuff," Alex interrupted, pausing a few moments to take a sip of orange juice. Setting the glass back down on the table, she continued, "When I chose you over my Mom, I thought that would be the end of her having control over my relationship with you." She sighed. "I was wrong. Her death brought back all the memories of her having abandoned me and that abandonment has affected our," she pointed to him and then at herself, "relationship more than mom ever did when she was alive."

She stopped talking when their waiter showed up, delivering their breakfast – pancakes with strawberries for him; blueberry crepes for her – and refilling her dad's coffee. After the waiter left and after she took her first taste of her breakfast, she resumed talking. "I allowed what my Mom did to make me question everything you said, to doubt your promise of never leaving me, to not trust you when you told me you loved me. I allowed her actions to continue controlling our relationship even after her death." Setting down her utensils, her face took on an even more serious expression. "I haven't always been nice to you. I've been disrespectful, rude, and downright unfair. I've questioned your motives, challenged your authority, doubted your love, and stopped trusting that you will never abandon me like she did."

She slid out of the booth and joined him on his side of the table, sitting next to him. Looking up at him, she continued, "Mom's death should have been liberating. It should have led way to forgiveness and should have served as an opportunity for me to be free from pain. Instead, I used it to hurt you by constantly questioning your love for me. I got angry with you about certain things even though I know in my heart that you would never allow me to feel the pain of abandonment again. I was so very wrong to do that to you – it's the biggest mistake of my life so far – and I am sorry."

"Alex, Sweetheart, I…" Steve trailed off, emotion hitching in his throat. He wrapped an arm around her, pulled her close, and dropped a kiss to the top of her head.

"I love you, Dad," she told him. "And I will never again let myself stop appreciating you. You are the best dad a girl could ask for and I wouldn't trade you for anything."

* * *

"So," Steve said, reaching up and lowering the volume of the radio in his truck. "I have a question." After his daughter's heartfelt apology and introspective expression, they had resumed their breakfast, chatting and laughing. For the first time in awhile, their interaction felt natural. The iron wall that had been Cindy had finally been knocked down, lending way to a sense of peace and a comfortableness that his daughter had not shared with him since that rainy night in Seattle when Cindy had relinquished her parental rights. Sure, Alex's transformation had seemed sudden yet, by looking into her eyes, he could see that it was real. It didn't mean things would be perfect between them – he'd be stupid to think otherwise – but at least she had reached that point in her life when she acknowledged and appreciated him for whom he was, and all that he did for her, as her father.

"What?"

"Well," he started, flipping on his right turn signal so he could maneuver the truck into the exit lane. "In the past you have hounded me about some of my cases. I kind of expected the same thing now, especially considering I'm looking for one of your friends."

"And you want to know why I haven't asked you about it," Alex finished for him.

Steve nodded. "You or your friends."

"You said you'd do your best to find him," she replied, catching his eye momentarily when he glanced at her. "That's enough for me." She shrugged. "I don't need to know all of the details. I won't ask for them when Seth is finally found. That stuff is for your team, Seth, and his family to know."

"And if we don't find him?" Steve asked as he pulled into the parking lot of the school. He didn't want his daughter to think that there was no hope left. Yet, if he _did_ tell her about all of the dead ends his team had run into, she would realize that his team had just about done all they could to find Seth.

The day after the sixteen year old had been discovered to be missing, his team had tracked down the boys that Josh had seen hanging out in the school's parking lot with Seth. The boys were all, with the exception of one, seventeen years old and each had been kicked out of their public school for a variety of reasons. Two of the boys had actually attended Maika'I loa Academy as freshmen but had transferred to a public school after acquiring too many suspensions under their belts. All five of the teenagers had admitted to leaving school grounds with Seth on Monday – they had apparently, according to the boys and later confirmed to be true, spent a couple of hours at an arcade downtown – but none of them seemed to know what had happened to the boy after that. Steve, along with the rest of his team, had sensed there was more to the story but the teens had lawyered up, refusing to talk after that. His team had figured out that Seth's cell phone had last pinged off of a tower in Honolulu but, right around the time that the teens had left the arcade, his cell phone had been turned off; it had yet to be turned back on. There had been reports of sightings all across Oahu – one had even come in from Maui – but none of those leads had resulted in very much. Their case simply was at a standstill and it was pissing all of them off.

"I'll know that you did your best," Alex told him. "If Five-0 can't find him, no one can." She shrugged. "It won't be easy but I'll still know you did your best. That'll be enough for me."

"Okay," Steve said, pulling up to the curb in the drop off lane. "Thank you for that and thanks for breakfast, Sweetheart. Have a good day at school. Let me know how your meeting with your guidance counselor goes."

"I will," Alex assured him as she removed her seatbelt. Leaning over, she kissed him on the cheek. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

* * *

Alex said goodbye to Josh – he had insisted on walking with her to Five-0 Headquarters before hopping on his bike and heading home – before she headed into the building. She was greeted by a couple of familiar faces as she made her way upstairs to her dad's office. When she stepped through the front doors of HQ, she could see the four Five-0 members sitting around the Smart Table; every single one of them looked exhausted. Her dad looked up and smiled at her, which elicited Chin, Danny and Kono to greet her. Steve instructed his team to go home and shower; he would call them if something came up. When she reached the Smart Table, her dad hugged her and dropped a kiss to the top of her head. "How was school?"

"Good," Alex answered, taking a step back and looking at him. Something in his voice had been shaky, suggesting that something was bothering him. "Are you okay?"

"Yep," he answered, giving her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He was fine. He just wasn't ready to tell his daughter that Governor Denning wanted them to turn over Seth's case to HPD no later than tomorrow at noon. Steve didn't blame the Governor since, before too long, something more serious (in the Governor's eyes) than a missing teenager would come across their desk, needing their full and undivided attention. At the same time, Steve knew what Seth's parents were going through and he hated having to tell them that he could no longer search for their son. Maybe the interview Seth's parents had given an hour earlier on the local news would send more leads their way. "So, how'd your meeting with the guidance counselor go?"

"Good," Alex replied. "Can we talk about the ideas of classes she helped me come up with for next year?"

"Sure," Steve told her, curious to see what his daughter and her guidance counselor had come up with for her junior year academic schedule. "Mom should be here in a few then the three of us can sit down and discuss it, okay?" As it had been for Alex's first two years of high school, Steve would go over the proposed list of classes with her and then, once they agreed on the schedule, he would sign the form stating that he had reviewed and approved the class list. When his daughter's face beamed with a smile, he asked, "What?"

"You referred to her as Mom." Alex gave into a pleased laugh and hugged him.

"Oh, before I forget," Steve said, causing his daughter to step out of the hug. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out an envelope. Holding it to her, he continued, "This came in the mail today for you."

"What is it?" Alex asked, taking it from him. Her eyes scanned the name of the sender: United States Naval Academy. She looked up at him. "You think it's about STEM?"

"Probably," he answered, his eyes flitting over her to land on the woman walking into HQ. "Hey, Beautiful," he greeted.

"Hey, Babe," Catherine returned, reaching them and giving Steve a kiss. "Hi, Honey."

"Hi," Alex returned distractedly. Glancing up at her dad, she asked, "Can I?"

Steve nodded. "It's from the Academy," Steve explained when he saw Catherine's questioning eyes.

They both watched as Alex nervously opened the envelope. She pulled the single piece of paper, which was folded into thirds, out of the envelope, letting the envelope fall to the floor as she unfolded the letter. Her eyes scanned it and both of her parents sensed what the letter said, even before she announced it. "I got in! I'm going to STEM!" Large smiles appeared on both Steve and Catherine's face. They quickly embraced their daughter, congratulating her on her acceptance to the competitive program.

"It's June seventeenth to the twenty-first," Alex told them, reading the rest of the letter. "And I have to bring a poster or presentation of a previous STEM experience." She looked at them. "You think my Physics project on Hydropower energy would be good enough?"

"I think that sounds perfect," Catherine said, smiling at Alex's excitement and happiness.

"I do, too," Steve told his daughter, reaching out and placing a hand on the backpack that she still wore on her shoulders. "What do you say we go into my office and we talk about that school schedule of yours? Then maybe we can go to an early dinner?"

"Okay," Alex murmured, her eyes still scanning the acceptance letter as she shrugged out of her backpack. They headed to Steve's office, where Steve set Alex's backpack down on the couch as Catherine moved a chair over so that it was next to Steve's desk chair.

Seeing that his daughter was still distracted by the letter, he tapped her on the shoulder. "How about you put that away for now and show us your schedule?"

"Oh, right," Alex said, folding up the letter and stepping over to her backpack as her dad took his seat behind his desk. She unzipped her bag, pulling out a pocket folder and carrying it over to her dad's desk. Opening it, she put the STEM letter in the left pocket while simultaneously pulling out a proposed class schedule. "Here," she said, stepping in between her parents, sitting down and balancing her weight on one of her dad's legs.

Steve and Catherine scanned the list which, to no real surprise, consisted mostly of honors and AP classes. The list consisted of the following: Honors Pre-Calculus, AP Biology, AP European History, AP Literature, NJROTC, Japanese Four, AP Psychology (Fall Semester), and US Government (Spring Semester). "What do you think?" Alex asked.

"Well, honestly," Steve commented, "that's a pretty heavy course load."

"I agree," Catherine said, "That's a lot of AP courses."

Alex's face fell slightly. "So you think it'll be too hard for me?"

"No," Steve and Catherine said at the same time. Steve nodded for Catherine to continue with what she wanted to say.

"I don't think it's too hard for you," Catherine told her. "I'm just concerned that, with that many AP's, studying and homework is going to take up so much of your time that you won't have time for anything else. I want you to be able to have a social life and to be able to run on the cross-country team."

"Mom's right, Sweetheart," Steve said, taking over for his fiancé. "I don't want your last two years of high school to be so stressful that you end up getting burnt out."

"But I need to be competitive for the Naval Academy."

"We know that, Sweetheart," Steve replied, glancing at Catherine and seeing that she was still on the same page as him. "But you don't have to take _all_ AP classes to be competitive."

"The Academy wants you to be well-rounded," Catherine said, continuing for Steve. "They want you to be athletic and physically fit, be a leader in various activities, show that you are great at time management, be involved in civic engagement; it's not just about the advanced academics."

Alex was quiet for several long moments as she thought about what they both had said. If anyone knew what the Naval Academy expected out of its applicants, then her parents were the prime example. They both had received an appointment to the Academy and both had experienced great success during their four years there. On top of that, she knew that they both supported her decision to want to attend the Academy and they both spent a lot of their free time with her to ensure she would become a highly competitive applicant. As she thought about it, she knew they were right. "Okay, so what should change on the schedule?"

"Do you need to take AP Biology?" Catherine asked, looking back at the list of courses. "Or can you take another non-AP science course?"

"I need a Biology course to graduate from Maika'I loa," Alex explained. "And I haven't taken one yet because I took regular Biology when I was in eighth grade."

"Oh," Catherine replied, learning that news for the first time. "Well, then it doesn't make sense to take regular Biology all over again." She smiled up at the teenager. "I think you should keep that class. What do you think, Babe?"

Steve nodded. "I think the AP Bio is fine but what about this AP Psych class and AP European History?"

"The Psychology course was kind of a toss-up," Alex replied honestly. "Mrs. Palakiko thought that maybe the non-AP class would be too easy for me."

"You've never taken a psychology class before, have you?" Alex shook her head no in response to her dad's question. "I'm thinking it'd be better for you to take the introductory, non AP course this year. If you do well and really enjoy it, you can always save the AP course for next year." Steve glanced at Catherine. "Does that sound fair?"

"Yes," Alex replied. "I'm happy with that decision."

"Okay, good," Steve said. "Now what about –" He was interrupted by the sound of his cell phone ringing. Gesturing for his daughter to stand up, he picked up his cell phone and headed out of the room, answering it as he pulled his office door behind him.

Alex and Catherine watched him through the glass of the office, seeing a sigh of relief come over him as he listened to whoever was on the phone. Alex's question was answered when her dad stepped back into his office. "Dinner is going to have to wait," he told them as he slid his cell phone into his pocket and picked up his badge from the desktop. He considered walking out without telling his daughter the good news but, sensing that she wouldn't hound him to go with him, he decided against it. "That was HPD. They found him."

"Alive?"

Steve nodded. "Yes, he's alive, Sweetheart. I don't know many details but I need to call the team and get them to meet me at the hospital where they are taking him." He turned to head back out of the office. "I don't know what time it will be but I'll meet you both at home later, okay?" Without waiting for a response, he continued towards the door of HQ.

"Dad!" he heard Alex scream for him. By the time he turned around, she was in front of him, throwing her arms around him. "Thank you."

* * *

Later that evening, Steve walked into his house to see his daughter and Catherine sitting on the couch , huddled over one of Alex's school books which were spread all over the coffee table in front of them. Both of them jerked their heads up at the sound of the front door closing. "How is he?" Alex asked quickly.

"He's okay," Steve answered her, setting his wallet and badge down on the end table. He took a seat next to his daughter on the couch. "I can't tell you all the details – Seth will do that when he's ready to – but I can tell you that he's safe. He needs to spend a day or two in the hospital, mostly for dehydration, but then he will go home."

"Did someone hurt him?"

Steve shook his head. "Not exactly." He expelled a breath, his mind reeling with all of the information he had received in the last few hours. "Seth had a lapse in judgment a few weeks ago which led to him witnessing something he shouldn't have. Out of fear, he decided to run away the other day." He tucked a strand of hair behind his daughter's ear. "That's all I can tell you."

Alex nodded. "He's safe. That's all I care about." She hugged him. "I know I already said it but thanks."

"Oh, you don't have to thank me, Sweetheart," Steve told her, giving Catherine a smile over the top of his daughter's head. "So what are you two working on?"

"Nothing now," Alex said, pulling away from him. "Right, Mom?"

"Right." Seeing the question in Steve's eyes, Catherine smiled. "We decided to wait for you to order takeout." She pulled two menus out from underneath Alex's math textbook and handed them to him. "You pick: shrimp or pizza."

* * *

Three days later on Sunday night, Steve and Catherine left Naval Base Pearl Harbor and headed back home. They had received the final authorization less than an hour ago and, in less than eighteen hours, they would be headed out of the country on the mission. Thinking about having to tell their teenager, they wondered if going through all the red tape and getting the authorization had been the easy part. They wondered how Alex would handle the news.

When they arrived at the house, they found Alex and Anchor in the backyard, just sitting on the beach. "Hey, Honey," Catherine greeted, dropping Steve's hand to take a seat next to Alex in the sand. "Your dad and I need to tell you something."

"Are you pregnant?"

Both Steve and Catherine blanched at that question. "Wh – wh- what?" Steve asked, looking at Catherine for confirmation that she was not, in fact, carrying his child. It wasn't that he was opposed to having another child but he and Catherine had yet to have that conversation.

Alex laughed. "Relax, Dad, it was a joke." She grew serious again. "Unless you really are," she said, looking at Catherine.

"No," Catherine said, clearing her throat. "I'm not pregnant."

"Okay, so what's up?"

Steve joined them in the sand, electing to take the lead on this conversation. "Remember I told you that Freddie died during our last SEAL mission?" When Alex nodded, he continued, "Well, what I didn't tell you at the time was that I had not been able to bring his body back with me."

That comment surprised his daughter. "So it's still _there_? His family hasn't been able to say goodbye?"

"No, they haven't," Steve told her. "And that's what Mom and I want to talk to you about." When his daughter looked at him again, he continued, "We got permission from the Navy and State Department to go retrieve his body in trade for some prisoners that our country is holding."

"Wait," Alex said, looking back and forth between her parents. "You said 'we'. Does that mean you're both going?" Her parents both nodded, sharing a look between them that suggested they were concerned about how she would react. She had a feeling she would surprise them. "When do you leave?"

Yep, she certainly did surprise them. She could see that when her parents shared another look between them. She laughed. "He was your best friend, Dad. He was Uncle Freddie." With tears threatening to fall, she added, "His family should get to bury him. He deserves to be buried on American soil." She blinked away the moisture in her eyes. "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow around lunchtime," Catherine answered.

"Okay," Alex said, throwing Anchor's ball for him to fetch. "I hope you didn't ask Doris to stay with me because I –"

"You're still scared of being alone with her," Steve interrupted. "We know that, Sweetheart."

"Good," Alex replied. "So?"

"You're going to stay with Chin," Steve told her. Danny was getting Grace for the entire upcoming week and Steve hadn't wanted to take away from their time together by burdening him with caring for Alex, too. Kono had also been an option but she already had plans to spend time with Adam as many nights as their caseload allowed. Chin had actually been excited when Steve had asked if Alex could stay with him while he and Catherine were gone. "He'll pick you up after school tomorrow and you and Anchor will stay with him until we get back."

* * *

**A/N: It might seem to some of you that Alex "grew up" over night but I don't think it's too far of a stretch for the situation with Seth to be the eye-opening experience that she so desperately needed. **

**As always, please read and review. I really would love to have at least twelve reviews for this chapter. Thank you!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Warning: This chapter contains spoilers for the first forty minutes of Episode 3.20. The only additions that I've made to the episode were made to weave Alexandra's existence into it. Since this chapter alone ended up being nearly 8,000 words, it does not include the funeral scene nor does it include any of Alex's visit with Chin. That will probably be included in the next chapter (unless my muse dictates otherwise). When reading this chapter, please remember that Steve and Alex have not always had a close relationship. Thank you to everyone who left reviews on the last chapter (since this chapter is so long I will not thank you individually) and to those new readers who have followed/favorited this story.**

* * *

_~BUD/S Training - December 2000 – Naval Special Warfare Training Center, Coronado, California~ _

_Steve rolled over in his bunk, blinking as the glow from the street light outside the window hit him in the face. It took him a few seconds to realize that his roommate's bunk was vacant. Instantly he realized, based on what had happened earlier that day at training, where his roommate must have headed. Steve jumped out of bed, pulling his uniform bottoms on over his shorts, tucking in his Navy issued t-shirt, and then speedily sliding his feet into his boots before blousing his trousers. With that complete in record time, he raced out of the room and headed towards the Chief's Quarters. Sure enough, he spotted his buddy from the Academy, Freddie Hart, standing in the grass, looking at the gold bell which, if rung three times, would signal that the person ringing it had decided to quit SEAL BUD/S training. He reached Freddie just before the bell is rung for the third time, tackling him to the ground. _

_Freddie pushed Steve off of him and the two young men stood up, facing each other. "What are you doing?" _

"_Saving you from yourself," Steve answered._

"_Leave me alone, man." _

"_Go back to bed," Steve told his friend as he stepped in front of Freddie, putting himself between his friend and the bell._

_Freddie roughly pushed Steve to the side. "I said get out of my face." _

"_Hart." As Freddie reached for the bell again, Steve pushed him from behind, causing the taller man to go chest down on the ground. "I'm trying to do something to stop you from doing something you'll regret." Before Steve knew it, Freddie was taking a swing at him; he could feel his lip bust open as Freddie's fist connected with his face. He saw Freddie reach for the bell again. "Hey." As soon as Freddie turned towards him, Steve took a swing at Freddie. His fist connected with Freddie's nose; the force of the punch caused Freddie to land a few feet away. Freddie turned to look at Steve before taking a running dash towards him. Reaching Steve, he wrapped his arms around Steve's midsection, pushing all of his body weight forward until both men were on the ground, locked together and wrestling on the damp grass. _

"_Everybody drop!" At the sound of Chief Joe White's command, the two men stopped fighting, immediately dropping into the plank position. "Keep your backs straight," he instructed them as he stepped onto the grass in front of his quarters. "On your feet," he commanded when he reached their position. Both of his young SEAL recruits stood, snapping to attention in front of him. Hart had a bloody nose; McGarrett, a bloody lip. "What the hell is going on?"_

"_Ensign Hart was just polishing the bell because he's so motivated, Chief," Steve answered, bound and determined to not let Freddie quit the BUD/S program. _

_Chief White looked at the bloodied men, his eyes darting back and forth between both of them. "Outstanding." Turning around, he stepped over to the bell, spent some time looking at it, and then looked back at the SEAL candidates. "Excellent effort, Son," he told Hart. "Now, if you two fat, pitiful excuses of men are done, I want you to bear crawl back to your bunks and get the hell out of my sight." _

"_Hooyah, Chief," Steve said. _

"_Hooyah," Freddie said, with far less enthusiasm than his roommate. _

_Both men dropped into the proper position and turned to head in the direction of their bunks. Before they could start bear crawling, Chief White instructed, "And take the five-mile shortcut by the coast. I don't want you to tire yourselves out for the two mile ocean swim at zero six-hundred." _

"_Hooyah, Chief," they responded as they started their journey back to their bunks. _

_Three miles later, they were still bear crawling, creeping along the path near the beach. It had started raining – no, it was more like a torrential downpour – over a mile ago and both men were soaked to the skin. _

"_I was finished man," Freddie said, breaking their silence for the first time since they had left the Chief's Quarters. "Done. Why'd you stop me?" _

"_Your dad doesn't say much, does he?" _

_Freddie gave Steve a weird look but answered, "Never a wasted word. Why?"_

"_He's patriotic, too?" _

_Freddie stopped in place and kneeled in the mud. "Where are you going with this?" _

_Steve stood up. "Why don't you just answer the question?"_

"_Yeah, okay," Freddie replied. "He's a flag waver. He came over from Ireland with nothing and now he's living the American Dream. Why?"_

"_Last Thanksgiving you and your Mom were doing the dishes," Steve stated, reminding his friend of the last holiday they had all spent together. It had started his first year at the Academy; when Freddie's mom found out that he had nowhere to go for Thanksgiving, she had invited him to spend the holiday with them. A pregnant Cindy had accompanied him his sophomore year and Alex had spent her first three Thanksgivings at the Hart house, too. "Alex and Cindy were in the kitchen with both of you, too. You remember?" _

"_Yeah."_

"_It was just me and your old man and a bottle of whiskey," Steve told him. "Alright? And he opened up to me, started giving me this speech about how a man needs something to believe in, something to fight for and, according to him, there was no greater cause than the United States of America. _

"_He said all that, huh?" Freddie sounded a little doubtful._

"_Yeah, he did, okay?" Steve replied. "But you know what else he said? He said the proudest moment of his life was when you joined up for SEALs." They both just looked at each other, still working on resting their sore muscles and catching their breaths. After a few minutes, when Freddie still hadn't said anything, Steve asked, "You think it's just you that's having a hard time out here?"_

"_What?" _

"_It's not just you, man," Steve informed him. He shook his head. "You know how easy it would be for me to ring that bell just so I can hold my daughter again?" He sighed. "She's three, man, and here I am, clear across the country, missing out on six months of her life. You have any idea how much it nearly kills me every time I talk to Cindy and she tells me that my little girl won't sleep because I'm not there? You know how badly I just want to hold Alex and kiss her sweet little face and hear her laugh?" He shook his head again, blinking away the emotion on his face. "This is the toughest thing I've ever done, too, Hart, but you don't see me sneaking out of my bunk at night to ring that damn bell." _

"_How do you do it?" Freddie asked, looking up at Steve from his kneeling position. "I know you miss her, McGarrett. How the hell do you do it?"_

"_For your dad, the greatest cause to fight for is the United States of America," Steve answered. "For me, it's our country _and_ it's my daughter. These six months away from her will all be worth it if I know that our job is helping to secure her future. It's all worth it if it turns me into a man that she can respect one day; if she can be proud of what I've done with my life." Steve dropped into the mud next to his friend. "I don't know what _your_ cause is but whatever it is, don't lose sight of it. You know that we were both born to be SEALs." _

* * *

~Osan Air Force Base, South Korea, April 2013~

"They say every BUD/S class has its surprises," Steve said as he looked down at the simple wooden casket containing his friend's remains. He and Catherine had landed at Osan Air Force Base twelve hours ago and, after meeting with their escorts – soldiers from the US Army and South Korean military – and after eating a late breakfast, they had traveled by convoy up to the DMZ. At the heavily guarded border between North and South Korea, two North Korean prisoners, dressed in orange jump suits, were handed over to a North Korean military officer in exchange for Freddie's remains. The casket had been loaded into one of the trucks and then they had returned to the Air Base located in Pyeongtaek, South Korea. Now, Steve was inside one of the helicopter hangars with Catherine at his side, standing watch over the casket. "Freddie was ours." Steve glanced at Catherine and continued explaining. "After that night, he was unstoppable. He became the best student; toughest soldier; the guy that everybody could depend on, who never ever gave up."

A smile appeared on Catherine's face; she believed that Steve had just described himself, too. "I think some of it must have rubbed off on you."

"Commander!" A male voice drew their attention to the front of the hanger. Turning, they spotted a pilot, wearing his flight suit, standing in the entrance to the hangar. "We're pulling chops in fifteen. Time to load the bird."

"Thank you!" Steve told the pilot, turning back around to face Freddie's casket. "Hey, do me a favor," he requested from Catherine. "Give me a second with this guy."

"Of course."

"Thanks," he said as she walked away from him. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a set of dog tags; black rubber silencers – they weren't mandatory for service members but, for SEAL's, the clanging of dog tags together could prove fatal – surrounded each tag. He held up the dog tags, looking at them. "Alright, buddy." He hesitated for a moment and then pulled the top off of the casket, leaving it partially opened. It struck him then, more so than it had earlier, that this was it; this was the start of his final farewell to his friend, his buddy, his brother. He was overcome with emotion yet he refused to allow a tear to fall. His gaze drifted downward to look at the skeleton's right upper limb, his breath hitching in his chest as something grabbed his eye. He couldn't believe it! After all of the red tape, after months of having the State Department broker this trade, it had resulted in this betrayal. He hung his head; he knew his journey was far from over.

"Steve, the plane's ready," Catherine said, putting her cell phone in her pocket and walking back towards him. He was hanging his head; his body tense. It broke her heart to see how heartbreaking this was for him. "Steve."

"I'm not going anywhere," Steve told her.

Catherine was confused. "What are you talking about? Why not?"

"This isn't Freddie." His voice was strong. Firm. Confident.

Catherine still didn't understand. The skeleton was dressed in the tattered remains of a SEAL uniform, a uniform with the name 'Hart' above the right chest pocket. "I don't understand," she told him. "If this isn't Freddie, then who is it?"

"I don't know."

"Steve, listen to me," she said, trying to reason with him. "This trade was brokered at the highest of levels, okay? It would seem incredibly stupid for North Korea to try to pull a fast one." She glanced at the casket. "Now, it's been a few years. There's some decomp." She looked at him again, making sure he realized that she wasn't doubting him; she just needed to be sure. "You sure?"

"I'm positive," he told her, his mind reeling with the memory that proved he knew what he was talking about. "This is NOT Freddie."

* * *

_~Iraqi Green Zone, September 2010~_

_Steve headed in the direction of the Headquarters Briefing Room, thankful for the order to report there; it would provide a short respite from the dry, dusty, one-hundred degree weather. It had been four months since Baghdad had seen a drop of rain and he could feel the layers upon layers of dust on his face. As he stepped into the air-conditioned tent, he set his KEVLAR down on the table before removing his sunglasses and setting them down, too. Always a soldier, he kept his rifle strap slung over his shoulder, the weapon at the ready. "Sir," he said, announcing his presence to his old SEAL instructor and now Commander Joe White. _

"_Commander, good, c'mon in," Commander White greeted._

"_Sir," Steve repeated, moving to stand in front of a table near Joe. On the other side of the table, facing him and seated before a laptop, was a Vice-Admiral. "You wanted to see me, Sir." _

_Commander White nodded, reaching for the laptop and turning it so Steve could look at the screen. "You recognize them, Commander?" _

"_Yes, Sir." Of course he recognized the two men on the screen; they were the men his SEAL team had chased around the globe for the last four-and-a-half years. "The Hesse brothers: Viktor and Anton. International arms dealers. We've been tracking them for some time, Sir, but they are always one step ahead." _

_The man who Steve had spotted when he had entered the tent and who Steve recognized as a member of the CIA – he had met him once on a previous assignment yet the man's name escaped him at the moment– spoke up from where he sat on the lone couch in the tent. "That's because they've been given sanctuary by world class scum: Chechnyan rebels, war lords, hostile governments."_

"_And now we've got a fix on their location," Steve stated, putting all of the pieces together in his mind. A SEAL who had been involved in tracking down the Hesse brothers for as long as he had just wasn't pulled away from his unit for no good reason. "That's why I'm here."_

"_Dark Sun," Commander White stated. "Ever hear of it?"_

_Steve thought for a few moments. "Yes, Sir. Far East terrorist organization run by a fanatic named Han Ji-Woon."_

_Joe nodded, telling Steve his statement had been accurate. "The relationship between Dark Sun and the Hesse brothers is still unstable." He nodded towards the laptop. "However, we picked up chatter that indicates Viktor is sending his brother Anton to finalize a major arms deal with Dark Sun."_

"_Commander, we have a window of opportunity to roll this guy up," Mr. CIA told him. "The first confirmed face-to-face hearing confirms that the Intel is good so we need to act now."_

"_Excellent," Steve exclaimed. He had spent way too many years away from his daughter – she was now a teenager and he hadn't seen her in nearly two years – and most of that time away from her had been because he was chasing the Hesse brothers from one corner of the world to the other and back again. A lot of sleepless nights; too many close calls; innumerable trips to the hospital; Purple Hearts awarded to each member of his team; he, along with his entire SEAL team, had been waiting for a long time to bring the Hesse brothers to justice. _

"_Not so fast," Joe told him. "There's a discrepancy. This deal is going down at the Dark Sun training compound in North Korea."_

"_Okay," Steve returned. "Well, aside from the HVT, do we have updated source Intel on how many hostiles are inside the camp? What weapons they are using? Whether they are using multiple controls?"_

"_That's where I come in," the CIA agent stated. "My people will get you whatever you need."_

_The Vice Admiral behind the desk spoke up; making sure Steve understood exactly why he had been summoned to the HQ Briefing tent. "Stealth would be the operative word here, Commander."_

_Steve nodded. "You want me to insert, snatch up Anton, then exit the area without being compromised, Sir." _

"_Exactly," the Vice Admiral replied. "Bare this in mind: this mission does not exist. If you are killed or captured, you are on your own." _

"_Yes, Sir," Steve replied, very well aware of the implications of the mission and what effect it would have on his daughter if the mission failed._

"_That means no rescue attempt," Mr. CIA explained. "No negotiations. Not even an acknowledgement of your service." _

"_I understand." _

"_Steve," Joe said. "We are not going to send you down range all by your lonesome. Pick a team member to go with you. Someone with extensive operational background." _

_In his mind, there was only one man he wanted with him on the mission. "I know just the man, Sir." _

_After putting the request in that Freddie Hart join him on the mission, Steve had headed back out into the dust and heat, leaving Commander White and the Vice-Admiral to contact Freddie and set up his flight from the States – Freddie had been granted leave just over a week ago – to South Korea, where he and Freddie would be departing from for their journey to North Korea. Steve had found his team gathered outside of the chow hall where he informed them that he had been given new orders. Then he had headed off to the showers; he'd worry about grabbing some chow later. After feeling clean for the first time in weeks, Steve decided to call Seattle, hoping to talk to Alex before he headed off later that night for Osan Air Force Base. _

_He listened to the phone ring, over and over again, until, finally, Alex's voice came on the line. "Aberdeen residence; this is Alexandra speaking." _

"_Your last name is McGarrett," Steve said, a bit taken aback by his daughter's new way of answering the phone. "Not Aberdeen." _

"_Oh, hi, Dad," Alex greeted._

"_Hi," he returned. "So what's with the new way you answer the phone?"_

"_Mom told me I have to," she answered before quickly changing the topic. "Are you back at your apartment?"_

"_No," he replied._

"_Where are you?"_

"_I can't tell you that," he told her, glancing at his wristwatch. "Listen, Sweetheart, I can't talk very long but I just wanted to –"_

"_You're going on _another_ mission?" _

_Most people would have taken her tone to be one of strict curiosity. He, on the other hand, could sense a hint of pain and fear. Not that he really blamed her. He had been physically absent for a large portion of her life, especially the last year and a half, during which he hadn't seen her at all. He tried to come up with something to say to her, something to alleviate her emotions, but failed. "I know it's been awhile since we talked but I haven't really had access to a phone." _

"_Its fine," Alex told him. "When are you going to be back in Coronado?" _

_Steve sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He couldn't remember the last time he had a real discussion with his kid. He couldn't remember the last time when Alex had not pretended that their screwed up father-daughter relationship didn't bother her. Most times their conversations consisted of talking about how she was doing at school or what the weather was like or their plans for dinner – mostly things that didn't have much importance at the end of the day – and it was getting harder and harder to figure out what to talk about with her. With each and every phone call, he could feel his daughter slipping away from him. "I don't know." _

"_Yeah," Alex said distractedly. "Well, Grandpa's calling so I gotta go." _

"_Alright, Sweetheart," he said. "Be good and stay safe. I," he heard the click of the line being disconnected, "love you." _

* * *

_~Operation Roundup: International Waters/ North Korea – September 19, 2010~_

"_Did you call her?" _

"_Alex?" Steve asked as he glanced at his buddy, teammate, and brother, Freddie Hart. _

"_Yeah, man," Freddie returned, tightening the straps on the gear strapped to his waist. "Please tell me you called her before we left." He had known Steve's daughter since she was only a few weeks old and he, maybe better than anyone, knew how much of Steve's world revolved around that girl. Freddie knew how hard it was, and had always been, for Steve to be away from her for so long, especially because, even when they were at home in Coronado, Alex was still over 1,200 miles away in Seattle. "Still can't believe she's a teenager already." _

_Steve sighed. "Yeah, thirteen, man." He shook his head, giving his straps another look over. "I haven't even seen her since before her twelfth birthday." _

"_You'll make it up to her," Freddie reminded him. "You always do." _

"_I don't know," Steve admitted. This wouldn't be the first time he confided in Freddie about his fears of failure as a father. "I don't even know the last time when I had a real conversation with her." _

_Freddie gave him a pointed look. "Alex loves you, Steve. She looks up to you and she understands why you can't be there very often. She understands your job and respects you because of it. You're a good father; don't ever start questioning that." Sitting down beside his friend, he decided on a change of topic, hoping to change the focus of Steve's thoughts. "Hey, who packed this chute for you? It's not going to open._

"_It's only six miles down," Steve reminded him. "I'll grab your legs." Steve heard his buddy chuckling while he kissed the small photo in his hand. As he put the photo back into his pocket, he glanced over at Freddie, only to see the man grinning. "What are you so cheerful about? You've been grinning like a clown ever since we got airborne."_

"_I got married over the weekend," Freddie informed him. _

"_No you didn't."_

"_Yeah," Freddie said, nodding. "I did. Kelly and I decided we just couldn't live without each other so… yeah."_

"_Really?" Steve asked, quite unable to believe that Freddie Hart had finally decided to settle down._

"_Yeah." _

"_Last week you hated each other," Steve pointed out, referring to the short email he had received right after Freddie had made it back home. _

"_That was last week," Freddie told him before telling his friend even better news. "Then we found out we're having a baby. So…" he trailed off. "It's a girl." _

_Steve laughed. "It just gets better and better." _

"_So what the hell?" Freddie continued. "I've been in love with her since high school." He rolled up his right sleeve to reveal a tattoo of a heart, etched with his new wife's name. "I want to do the right thing." Steve laughed again. "I've never been much of a ring guy. What do you think?"_

"_I think you're a sentimental son-of-a-bitch." _

"_Thanks. That's sweet of you, man." _

"_You're a stupid one, too," Steve added, nodding towards the tattoo. "Kelly's got two l's." Freddie panicked, looking down at his arm. "You can't read anyway. What's the difference?" _

_Freddie laughed, seeing that Steve had been pulling his leg. "You scared me, man." _

"_Congratulations, Bubba," Steve told him. "Welcome to fatherhood." _

"_Thanks, brother," Freddie returned. "If I'm half the dad you are I know I'll be great." Laughing, he continued, "Don't think you're not going down next with marriage, Smooth Dog. I've seen you with LT Rollins. That's the real deal, man. Try not to mess it up." Grinning at Steve, he continued. "You probably should introduce her to Alex, too, by the way." _

_Steve thought for a few moments. "Roger that!"_

_The red jump light switched to yellow, indicating that it was time for them to stand and prepare to jump. They moved towards the open end of the plane. _

"_Nothing gets better than this, huh?" _

"_I can think of one thing," Steve replied. "Changing dirty diapers!" _

_Both men laughed. "You should know," Freddie commented. "But I'll get back to you on that one." _

_Steve held out his fist. "Alright, Daddy-O." He bumped fists with Freddie. The light turned green and they both jumped; headed on the six mile journey down through the sky, straight into enemy territory. _

* * *

~Osan Air Force Base~

Steve pointed to the skeleton's right forearm. "Right forearm. No tattoo, okay?" he told Catherine, referring to the story he had just told her. "That's how I know this is not my boy."

"Okay," Catherine said, knowing that Steve was completely right about this body not being Freddie's.

"Okay," he repeated.

"So where's Freddie?" Catherine asked.

"He's gotta be where I left him."

"Alright, Steve, this is when we call the State Department," Catherine told him, sensing that he would be turning all SEAL on her by insisting on going to retrieve Freddie's body by himself. "We go through the proper diplomatic channels."

"Catherine, we've done that." He gestured towards the casket. "This is where we are. Look where it left us."

"Okay. What about our people?"

Steve sighed. "Even if I convince the Navy to green light an op, it's going to mean ten weeks of mission prep. Freddie's family has been waiting for three years already. I think that's long enough." He closed the lid on the coffin and moved past her, heading deeper into the hangar.

From behind him, he heard: "Steve, I'm going with you."

"Absolutely not," he returned, not even bothering to stop walking.

"Well, I'm not asking you for your permission.

"It doesn't matter," he told her. "You're not going anywhere." There was absolutely no way in hell he was going to let Catherine, the love of his life and his fiancée, go with him across the DMZ into a country whose citizens would never hesitate to kill an American. He would go by himself; he would handle it by himself.

"Hey! Look," Catherine said, reaching a hand out towards him as he finally turned to look at her. "Come here." They both stopped in place, turning to face each other. "Let's forgo the whole John Wayne, it's too dangerous for a lady speech, okay? You're gonna need support. I've done three tours in Kabul and I'm just as qualified as you are when it comes to taking care of myself." Not to mention, how the heck would she explain to their daughter that she had let him go off to North Korea by himself? Granted, it was risky for both of them to be going after Freddie's body but, at least with two of them, they had a better chance of getting out alive and back home to Alex.

There was no arguing with her there. "Yes you are."

"Good! Then you also know that I'm not very good at taking no for an answer."

Steve didn't respond right away. Very few people could have that affect on him; when she put it like that, when she used that tone of voice, he knew that this was yet another battle that he would lose. "I'm not going to win this one, am I?"

"No, you're not."

"Okay, fine," he said, turning and walking away.

"Good," Catherine returned, following him to the back door of the hangar. "Now that we've got that taken care of, how do plan on doing this," she put her eight-point cap on, "because all I've got is a pack of gum, some Dramamine, and a ready smile."

"I'm working on it," he told her as they snuck out of the hangar through the back door.

* * *

~Somewhere in North Korea~

Steve woke up disoriented, looking at the steering wheel of a car. His head pounded as he sat upright, trying to remember where he was and what had happened. After leaving the hangar at Osan AFB, he and Catherine had changed into civilian clothes before renting a car from the rental company on base and starting the drive north towards Seoul. They had stopped for a quick bite to eat on post at the US Army Garrison Yongsan in Seoul – they had called Alex while they ate, telling her that their trip would be taking longer than expected – and then had continued driving for another half hour to the small town near the DMZ where his old buddy, Frank Bama, the man who had flown a helicopter into North Korea and helped rescue him from Wo Fat, was still living and operating.

They had met Frank inside a bar and, after Frank had consumed his daily mixture of snake blood and rice milk, they had headed out to a field where Frank showed them what was left of his beloved helicopter _Tangerine_. Apparently a flock of oriental honey buzzards had taken out the copter which left them resorting to Plan B. Frank had driven them through the jungle, stopping a few clicks from the DMZ. He had supplied them with a couple of weapons and extra magazines, warning them to stay on the trail since it weaved through the middle of a minefield. After that, Steve and Catherine had headed into the jungle, following the path as directed until they had come to a small clearing at the foot of a sixty degree incline, the same exact clearing where he and Freddie had stood side-by-side nearly three years ago.

After that, he and Catherine had headed in the direction of the camp where he and Freddie had once apprehended Anton Hesse.

While using their binoculars to spy on whatever was going on at the camp, Steve had spotted an all too familiar face; a man who, on those nights he dreamed of Freddie, haunted his dreams. It was the same man who had first shot Freddie during that last mission; Steve knew that man would know where Freddie's body had been buried. Steve remembered telling Catherine they needed to follow that man, which they had done, holding the man hostage in his car while instructing him to take them to Freddie's body. The last thing Steve remembered was the man falling out of the driver's side door. Then the car swerved and everything went black.

Steve blinked, taking in the tree that the car had slammed into. Hearing a groan, he said, "Catherine!" He looked into the backseat and saw her moving tenderly to sit upright. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she told him. "Where is he?"

His door not opening, Steve climbed out of the open window and onto the top of the car. With his weapon posed in the ready, he looked around, searching for the man. Spotting the man moving within the dense foliage, Steve hopped off of the car and chose an alternate route, eventually catching up to the man and tackling him from the side. The man started yelling so Steve pushed his head into the ground, attempting to cover his mouth to keep him quiet. With Catherine's help, they both applied enough force to push him face first into the ground.

"Shut up," Steve told him. "Shut up." He heard movement so he glanced over Catherine's prone body and spotted a man with a weapon investigating the sounds he must have heard. The man finally walked away without spotting them; they slowly rose from the ground. "Let's try that again. Shall we?"

They tied the man's hands together behind his back and followed him through the jungle with their weapons trained on him. The man finally stopped in a clearing, nodding to a spot a couple of yards ahead of them. Speaking Korean, he told Steve that Freddie's body was buried in that spot. Steve took a knife out of his thigh holster, cutting the ties on the man's wrists. "Dig," Steve instructed.

Finding a large stick with a slightly pointed edge, the man looked at Steve and Catherine. Seeing that they still had their weapons pointed at him, he started digging in the mud. Satisfied, that Catherine's weapon would do for now, Steve took his canteen out, unscrewed the top, and handed it to Catherine. "How bad?" he asked her, referring to the injury that he knew she had acquired in the car accident.

"It only hurts when I breathe." Steve shook his head at that, remembering how Alex had once told him the exact same thing. _Shit. Alex. I shouldn't have let Catherine come with me; if this recovery mission goes wrong, Alex shouldn't have to lose both of her parents. _He shook his head to clear it of the guilt and then, wanting to see his love's injury for himself, he gently lifted the side of her shirt, spotting a large bruise on her side. "It's just a fractured rib. I'll be okay," she assured him, seeing the look of worry in his eyes. "Trust me, your head looks a lot worse."

"Stop! Stop!" Steve instructed, stepping away from Catherine as he spotted skeletal limbs sticking out of the mud. The Korean man stopped digging, looking at Steve for further instruction. "Move. Move!" Steve told him as he bent down with one knee in the mud to look at the decomposing skeleton, which was wrapped in some sort of cloth. He lifted up the cloth that covered the right forearm; the faint outline of a tattoo confirmed that this was Freddie. He brushed his thumb over the tattoo as Freddie's laughter rang in his head.

"Is it him?" he heard Catherine ask him.

Choked up, all he could do was nod. Then, with a strangled tone, he answered, "Yeah." He continued looking at the skeleton, his eyes finally taking in the weird markings: one of the fingers was bent at a weird angle; the left patella was completely shattered; a hole where Freddie's elbow should have been. A sickening wave of nausea hit his stomach as a feeling of dread and understanding came over him. He lifted the cloth which covered the skull, only to find a large hole right above the right eye socket. The pain hit Steve right in the gut; his buddy's remains had been desecrated; the bastards had mutilated his friend! Steve hung his head, giving into the tears, wanting so desperately to sob out loud and grieve for what had been done to his brother. The guilt hit him again, too; he never should have left Freddie that fateful day.

"Steve?" Catherine said, truly concerned the moment he had started to weep. She moved closer to him, keeping her weapon trained on the man. "Babe, what is it?"

Steve didn't answer her as he continued to grieve; the sounds of his sniffles could be heard by both the man and Catherine. "Did you do this to my friend?" Steve demanded to know when he turned to look at the man, who just looked away. "Huh?" Steve continued angrily. "Hey! Did you mutilate my friend?" Angrier now, Steve pulled a pistol out from his thigh holster and grabbed the man by his shoulder, putting the weapon under the man's chin. "Who did that? Who gave the order? Did Ji-Woon give the order?" When the man refused to answer, Steve pushed him face first into the ground, holding the weapon against the back of the man's head. "Was it Ji-Woon?" He put the gun back in the holster, swapping it for a knife and holding it to the man's throat. "Listen to me very carefully. You have three seconds to answer my question, okay? Or everything you did to my friend, I'm going to do to you. One. Two."

"Han Ji-Woon," the man spat out with terror in his voice. "He ordered us to do it."

"Where is he?"

"At the camp."

With that answer, Steve knew exactly where they would go next. Five minutes ago this had become more than just a recovery mission. Now, this was a mission of revenge; he would kill the son-of-a-bitch that mutilated Freddie's body. Steve tied the man's hands behind his back and put a rag in his mouth to keep him from shouting for help. He forced the man to lie on his back on the ground. With a grenade in one hand, he gripped the safety lever, pulled the pin, and continued applying pressure on the lever. Lifting the man's hand, Steve placed the grenade on the ground, not removing his hand from the lever until the man's head was resting on it and applying the necessary pressure to keep the grenade from exploding. One move and the man will die; Steve wouldn't be losing any sleep over it. "I wouldn't move if I was you."

Steve and Catherine then headed towards the camp, quietly taking down two armed men from behind, and snapping their necks. Hearing movement behind him, Steve pulled out his knife and threw it at the man, hitting him square in the chest. Despite having a knife sticking out of his heart, the man's finger still froze on the trigger, causing bullets to start flying through the air. Before they knew it, Steve and Catherine were getting fired upon. When they attempted to move down the bridge, away from their attackers, they discovered that they were cornered by more North Koreans with weapons. They were forced to give up their weapons and were escorted, at gunpoint, to the camp, where Han Ji-Woon, the most hated man on Steve's radar at the moment was waiting for them.

"It's nice to see you again, Commander," Han Ji-Woon greeted. "I see you brought another friend."

"I've got a lot of friends," Steve returned, his contempt for the man obvious in his tone. "Right now they are moving in on this location."

"I don't think so," Han Ji-Woon disagreed. "I think you're here alone on some foolish, personal vendetta."

"Commander Hart was already dead," Steve stated, his emotions – guilt, regret, hatred – threatening to bubble to the surface. "Why did you have to desecrate his body?"

The terrorist stepped up to Steve, grabbing him roughly by the back of the neck. "You should have just taken what I gave you and gone home."

"Is that why you sent us the wrong body?" Steve asked, knowing the truth even if the man wouldn't admit to it. "So no one would find out what you animals did?" Han Ji-Woon backed away without saying a word. "Answer my question."

In less than a minute, they all heard an explosion; Steve and Catherine knew it was from the grenade Steve had left underneath that man's head. A firefight quickly ensued. As Catherine dealt with a couple of terrorists, Steve reined his sights on Ji-Woon whose attention was only on Steve. Ji-Woon fired but it was Steve's shots who hit their target. Three bullets from Steve's weapon hit the man square in the chest. Steve fired again; another three bullets caused the terrorist to fall to his knees. Steve approached Ji-Woon, shooting twice more. Seeing nothing but red – he wanted revenge, he wanted to destroy the man that had desecrated a corpse – he fired again; the man fell backwards onto the ground. Steve moved in closer and saw that Ji-Woon was now dead. He stood there, his mind back on that day when he had lost Freddie forever; that day when he had failed in bringing his friend home alive; that day when he had failed in making sure Freddie got to meet his baby girl.

* * *

_~North Korea, September 2010~_

_They had managed to infiltrate the camp without being seen and were now waiting for Anton Hesse to make his way towards them. As Anton had walked by the tree they were using for concealment, Steve had stepped out and quickly punched the man in the face, giving Freddie an opportunity to cover the man's head with a bag. They had been well on their way out of the camp without being seen until Anton, who was being held in place by Steve, started shouting. This had drawn the attention of the North Koreans and a hail of bullets had started streaking their way._

_The fire fight had been going pretty well – despite there only being two of them versus an entire unit of North Koreans, they seemed to have had the upper hand and had taken out a few terrorists – until Freddie got clipped in the shoulder. Freddie had stressed that he was okay and instructed Steve to continue moving with Anton while he provided cover. Steve had managed to get Anton behind some equipment without either of them getting clipped but, when Freddie joined them, Steve could see that Freddie had a hand over his lower right abdomen. _

"_Get the package out of here," Freddie told him, his voice laced with a hint of pain. "I've got your six." _

"_What are you talking about?" Steve asked him. "Get off your ass." He started pulling on Freddie's arm, trying to get him to stand and go with them to the truck they planned on using to get the hell out of here. _

"_Let go," Freddie demanded. _

"_Our job is not leaving anybody behind," Steve reminded him. _

"_You won't," Freddie told him. "Look at me." Steve glanced down, seeing the large pool of blood getting rapidly larger before his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, Steve. Don't let this be for nothing. You need to go home and continue being Alex's dad. Don't let both of our daughters lose their fathers." _

_Steve fired a few more shots at the enemy. Freddie seemed pretty resolved to his fate; Steve didn't want to accept it. Missions went wrong all of the time but _this_ mission wasn't supposed to end this way. He and Freddie were supposed to get out of here, safe and sound. They were supposed to return stateside and see their families. Freddie had just gotten married; he was supposed to become a father. _

"_Steve," Freddie said, drawing his brother's attention back to him. "I need you to do something for me." _

"_No, no, no, no_,"_ Steve replied, still not ready to accept this is being real. _

"_No, listen to me," Freddie insisted. _

"_What are you talking about, man?"_

"_Listen to me!" Freddie said, looking at him with desperation in his eyes. "One day, you tell my daughter… you tell my girl that daddy loved her. Promise me."_

_Steve closed his eyes, willing himself to not give into the pain of knowing that his friend, his brother, was near the end. _

"_Promise me!" Freddie pleaded._

"_I promise, alright," Steve told him. "I promise." _

_Freddie looked down, seeing even more blood. "You go," he told Steve. "Hooyah, brother." Hooyah: the war cry of the SEALs but Freddie knew that Steve understood it as meaning more than that. For them, two men who had first met at the age of eighteen at the Naval Academy; who sweated, bled, and battled together at SEAL training; who saved each other's back on innumerable covert missions; for them, Hooyah was an expression of love. It was an expression of that undying bond of brotherhood._

"_Moving!" Steve told him as he grabbed Anton and dragged him to a vehicle. The shooting continued behind Steve as he tossed Anton into the back of the truck and he climbed into the driver's seat. He put the car in reverse, bound and determined to get Freddie the hell out of there. An explosion from a grenade thwarted his plans. _

"_I said get the hell out of here you stubborn son of a bitch!" Steve looked in the rearview mirror at the sound of Freddie's shout. Steve saw the enemy moving in on Freddie. Freddie lay there with his weapon propped on its stand, releasing a hail of bullets, killing one enemy soldier. Steve watched as Freddie got hit twice more and then again. Steve watched as his best friend, his brother for life, slumped over in death. Despite having breathed his last, the ever faithful and ever loyal SEAL's finger remained on the trigger, continuing to fire at the enemy. Steve, in shock, stayed there, looking in the rearview mirror until, finally, Freddie's weapon stopped firing. It was only then that he drove away, leaving Freddie's body behind enemy lines. _

* * *

~Somewhere over the Pacific Ocean~

"If he hadn't covered me," Steve told Catherine as he stared at the plane seat in front of him. "I never would have made it out of there." _If it wasn't for Freddie, I never would have made another memory with my daughter. Alex would have had to bury me. Instead of good memories, like we have now, she would have had an American flag and my dog tags to serve as a reminder of all the time I spent away from her. As much as I am grateful for having had the chance to change my relationship with my daughter, it should have been me that died that day. I had thirteen years of being a father at that point; Freddie should have been granted even one. _

"You did everything you could do," Catherine assured him. "And you completed the mission."

"Yeah," Steve muttered, his mind drifting to what had happened only one day after having left Freddie in North Korea. He relayed the story of how, during the drive across South Korea to hand Anton Hesse over to the appropriate American authorities, he had received a phone call from his father. "I knew something was wrong right away," Steve told her. "He sounded scared, you know. Like the day he told me my mother had died."

There were times when words were soothing. This was one of those times when words would do nothing to help Steve with his grief. Catherine understood that so she covered his hand with hers, squeezing it and running her thumb back and forth across his skin, hoping he would take comfort from her touch. As their flight continued its way across the Pacific Ocean, she studied his face, even long after he had closed his eyes and given into sleep. Guilt was a normal part of life – it was a normal thing to feel after a tragic death, too – and she knew that Steve would be hurting for awhile from this experience. She just hoped that Steve wouldn't let the guilt eat away at him for an extended period of time.

* * *

**A/N: Are you crying? I am! This episode makes me cry every time I watch it. I think it truly shows the emotional and strong bonds that brothers and sisters in arms have to one another. I, personally, can testify to those bonds; your willingness to die so that your battle buddy can make it home to his/her loved ones… ah, there's nothing quite like it. **

**Hope you enjoyed my re-telling of this episode. Please leave me a review (only 16 more reviews until I reach 400 – unbelievable). Thank you for reading. **


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Over 400 reviews! Wow! You all are amazing! Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: Runner043, both AnonGuest's, Narwhayley, loveRnB, Angel, stellaSMacked, FicreaderT, francis2, pinkphoenix1985, Guest, Rolodexthoughts, sunny irish, Craftygirl11, JM Reagan, and war sage. **

**Today is Independence Day here in the USA; a celebration of that day in 1776 when the Declaration of Independence was signed and adopted, giving American independence from Great Britain. It's a day to reflect on the sacrifices made by those early settlers on our lands who longed for freedom from tyranny and oppression; who longed for freedom of speech, religion, and press; who envisioned a future of democracy and the right to dream of a better life. Since that day 237 years ago, millions of Americans have paid the ultimate sacrifice in the defense of freedom. (I acknowledge that billions of people around the world, not just American, have died defending their country and I'm not ignoring their sacrifices).**

**With that said, it's only fitting that I have chosen to post this chapter today. Freddie Hart's funeral (the last four minutes of episode 3.20) is a beautiful representation of the sacrifices made by service members, as well as the sacrifices made by the families of those who have died in the defense of freedom and independence. It's heartbreaking, yet full of hope. **

* * *

"Hello?" Alex asked hesitatingly as Principal Kamiya closed the office door behind her, leaving Alex alone in the room. A few minutes ago, she had been called out of AP History with the instructions of reporting to the Principal's office. With class having just started, she had left her backpack, text book and notebook where they were and, ignoring the immature "oohs" of the majority of her classmates who just assumed she had done something to get in trouble, she had left the classroom. Upon her arrival at the Main Office, Principal Kamiya had called her into her office, telling her that she had a phone call.

"Hi, Honey," Catherine greeted.

"Mom?" It was clear from her tone that Alex was confused as to why she was receiving a call, on the school's landline nonetheless, at the end of the school day. "Everything okay? Did dad get hurt again?"

"No, he's not hurt," Catherine assured her. "Everything is okay. Our trip is just taking longer than expected."

"Oh, okay," Alex said, sitting down in one of the chairs facing the Principal's desk. "Where are you?"

"At Yongsan in Seoul."

"Is that the Army post?"

"Yes, it is," Catherine told her. "We're grabbing a bite to eat." They had been up very early that morning and had missed breakfast. It was now ten a.m. and they had stopped at the post dining facility on the Army post to grab a brunch and coffee before they continued their journey north towards the DMZ.

"Is Dad doing okay?" Alex knew how close her dad had been with Freddie – brothers in almost every sense of the word – and she could only imagine how difficult this whole situation was for him. Her dad was a military man who believed with his entire heart and soul in that old military mantra of "no man left behind'; it must have almost killed her dad to have to leave Freddie behind during their last mission together. She knew her dad well enough – after all, she was pretty much _exactly _like him – to feel that he was probably living with a tremendous amount of guilt right now. Going to recover Freddie's body must be bringing back a _lot_ of memories of that fateful day; if she were her dad, she would be having an extremely difficult and emotional time. "Uncle Freddie meant a lot to him."

"He's doing as well as can be expected," Catherine told her, although she was fairly certain that Steve would be getting very angry and upset as soon as they actually located Freddie's remains. "He's coming with our drinks now." After paying for their meals at the front door, they had both grabbed a tray and joined the line with a few other diners – mostly young Privates and Specialists – taking in the wide variety of options before selecting their individual choices. After choosing a table in the far corner, away from the other diners, Steve had offered to go fill their mugs with coffee. "Want to talk to him?"

"Yes, please." Alex waited several moments – she could hear as her Dad set their meal trays down on the table – until her Dad came on the line, greeting her. "Hi, Dad," she returned. "How's Army food?"

"Well, I haven't tasted it yet," he told her, "but I've been here before and I can vouch that food from military dining facilities tastes about the same everywhere. You remember eating at the galley in Coronado?"

"Yeah," Alex said, smiling at the memories. Most of the times that she and her dad had grabbed something to eat at the galley at the Naval Amphibious Base in Coronado it had been with a lot of the guys from her dad's unit. She remembered sitting at the table surrounded by the biggest and strongest group of men, all of whom had always done a great job of making her feel like the most special little girl in the world. "I think the only thing I ever wanted to eat there was either chicken nuggets or spaghetti."

Steve chuckled at that. "You kept telling me that you didn't like anything else but I knew better. You would eat anything I put in front of you." He laughed again, taking his first bite of biscuits and gravy. "You were so stubborn, even at six, that it was just easier to let you eat what you wanted – within reason, of course – as long as you ate at least a serving a vegetables."

Alex laughed at that. "Dinner there was always fun. So was breakfast when we went with…" she trailed off, swallowing a lump in her throat. On the few occasions when they had gone for breakfast at the galley, Freddie had always joined them. Several times when she had visited Coronado, her dad still had to train during the day; she would spend the day at the childcare facility on base. She had never exactly been happy when her dad told her that she would be spending the day there instead of with him and Freddie had always done a great job of making her look forward to going to daycare. _Uncle Freddie._

Ever since her dad had told her a couple of days ago that he and Catherine would be traveling to recover Freddie's body, she had been doing a lot of thinking about the man who, when she was younger, had been the closest thing to an uncle that she had. Knowing what she did now about when he had died had made her think of something else that she probably owed her dad an apology for. That phone call from over two years ago, when her dad had called her for the first time in weeks, to tell her he was going on another mission. He had been scared; she realized that now. Maybe he didn't even remember that specific phone call but she did and it was another one of those things that she wished had never happened. "Dad, about that phone call… you know, the last one you made to me before you called to tell me about Grandpa. I'm sorry. I should have let you talk. I should've stayed on the phone with you even though Grandpa was calling me. I –"

"No, no, no," Steve said, interrupting his daughter. "That was a long time ago, Sweetheart. Things were different then. You don't owe me an apology and I don't want you to start feeling guilty about that." When Catherine raised her eyebrows curiously, he just shook his head.

"You're going to go do something dangerous again, aren't you?" Alex asked him. As soon as his voice had come over the line, an uneasy feeling quickly settled in her gut. It was the same one she had experienced multiple times over the last two years, like when he had gone off to help Jenna search for her fiancé and when he had gone off in search of Wo Fat after their trip to France.

Steve didn't answer right away as he looked across the table at Catherine. He chewed on the inside of his cheek; a sign which told Catherine that he was thinking seriously about something. After a long minute, Steve's body relaxed; she knew he had made a decision about whatever had been occupying his mind. He took a quick glance around the room. Satisfied that he wouldn't be overhead, he replied to his daughter. "I can't tell you specifically where we are headed," he told her as he saw Catherine's eyebrows rise in interest. "But we came here to get Freddie and we haven't been able to do that yet."

"Why not?" Alex asked him. "You're supposed to be on your way home now."

"I know, Sweetheart," he replied, expelling a breath. He wondered if he would be getting a lecture from Catherine once she heard what he would tell their daughter next. "I… something went wrong with the transfer and we were given the wrong body."

"So I guess the answer to my question would be yes," Alex stated. "You are going to do something dangerous."

Steve sighed. "Alex –"

"I get it, Dad," she interrupted him. "I don't like it but I get it. I understand why you're doing it and I respect you for that. Freddie would do the same thing if the situation were reversed."

"Thank you for understanding."

"I'm proud of you for following your heart," Alex continued, feeling the need to provide him with reassurance that she wasn't mad at him for leaving again to do something that might put his life at risk. "I'll never be mad at you for fighting for what you believe is right; Mr. and Mrs. Hart need closure. The thing is though, Dad… I still need you."

"I know you do," Steve told her. "My plan is to have Freddie's body on a plane no later than tomorrow morning. I mean, we do have a Sweet Sixteen party to plan, don't we?"

Alex laughed. "So you're still not in denial about me turning sixteen in thirty-one days?"

Steve sighed. "If I had my way, you would have stayed five forever."

"Yeah," Alex agreed, understanding that he really would have made her stay little forever if he had had the power to do so. "I should let you go so you can eat. Love you, Dad."

"Love you, too."

"Can I talk to Mom again real quick?"

Steve passed the phone across the table to Catherine. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Alex answered. "Two things. One: I'm assuming Dad's hair is still the way it was when you both left here?"

"It is," Catherine acknowledged, eyeing Steve over the rim of her coffee mug; his hair was getting a little long and his sideburns were thick. "Why?"

"Do I have your permission to give him a haircut when you get back?"

"I don't think I'm the one you should be asking that but sure," Catherine told her, grinning at the thought of Alex taking a razor to Steve's head.

"Okay."

"What's the second thing?" Catherine asked her.

"Oh, I just wanted to tell you that I love you."

Catherine smiled. "I love you, too."

* * *

"Your dad called us earlier," Chin informed Alex as he pulled his truck out of the parking lot at Headquarters. Alex had ridden her bike to HQ after school and, upon her arrival, she had greeted him, Kono, and Danny briefly before heading straight for Steve's office, where she worked on school work for the next two-and-a-half hours. On three different occasions, one of them had attempted conversation with her but she had not been very talkative. She actually seemed to be a little down and all three of them had wondered if it was due to the conversation she had received from her parents. "He said he and Catherine had already called you to let you know their trip got delayed."

"Yeah," Alex replied. "They were given the wrong body." She glanced at Chin. "You know my Dad – he won't leave until the job is done."

"Yeah," Chin murmured, hoping that Steve's current trip to North Korea didn't end up like the last one. "So," he continued after a few minutes of silence. "How are you dealing with them having to be gone longer?"

Alex shrugged. "Okay, I guess. Freddie's family deserves closure and my Dad can give them that by bringing Freddie's body home." Alex sighed. "I just… I keep thinking about my Dad and how hard this has to be for him." She glanced at Chin. "Freddie was like a brother to him and like an uncle to me – you know, like you and Danny are now – and my dad lost him the day before my grandfather was killed."

"I didn't know that."

"I only learned that recently," Alex informed him. "I didn't even know Freddie had died until the night my Dad proposed to Catherine." At first she had not understood why her dad had never told about Freddie's death. The understanding had only come after learning _when_ Freddie had died; her Dad had saved her extra grief by only telling her about Grandpa's death. "Learning about his death has made me start to think a lot about my Grandpa," she admitted to Chin, "and I keep reliving the moment when I learned about his death."

"That's understandable," Chin told her.

Alex nodded in agreement. "You remember when we talked about Malia the other night?" Her first night staying with Chin had been the first time she had been at his house since his wife had been murdered. He had left her in the living room while he had gone to change out of his work clothes. When he had returned, he had found her holding a photo of Malia that had been taken on their wedding day. They had spent the next half hour talking about Malia – how much she was missed; what they missed most about her; Chin told her their love story. Then they had talked about grief and how, even though it did get easier over time to live without their lost loved ones, the pain of losing them, especially to violence, never quite went away. Instead there was a hole in their heart that could never be patched. "About how, even though you were with her when she died, you still went through a stage of denial?"

Chin nodded. Even now, nearly a year after Malia's death, there were mornings when he would wake up, wondering why her side of the bed had not been slept in, and part of his brain would tell him that she had just worked a night shift at the hospital. Some days the smell of her would permeate the house and it would make him question if she had ever really died or if it had just been some sick nightmare. People always talk about the stages of grief and how each person progresses through them differently. For him it was a process full of regression: he could go weeks at a time feeling like he had once and for all accepted her death, feeling hopeful for the future, but then denial would rear its' ugly head all over again. "I remember."

"When my dad called to tell me about Grandpa, the first thing I did was deny it."

"_Hi, Sweetheart," Steve said, hearing his daughter come on the phone. He had received the call from his father earlier that day; less than ten hours ago he had listened on the phone as his father had been murdered by Viktor Hesse. After that, with their convoy shot to hell and Anton Hesse dead, he and the remaining transfer team had headed back to Osan Air Force Base where they went through a three-hour debrief – Commander White and the Vice Admiral participated via video-teleconference – before being released for showers and chow. Before he had left the debriefing room, he had informed the command team about his father's death and they had immediately granted him leave – apart from his father's murder he was also long overdue for some shore leave – to go take care of things in Honolulu. They had booked him on the first Space A flight back to the states, which had left him with three hours to shower, eat, and figure out how the hell to tell his daughter that her favorite person in the world was gone, all before getting on the plane to his boyhood home. _

_He now had about an hour left before his flight was scheduled to leave. He had dialed the apartment in Seattle, praying that Cindy would be the one to answer the phone. She had and he had told her about his dad. She had expressed her condolences and then they had agreed to not tell their daughter the violent details of his dad's death. He had then asked to speak to Alex, knowing that what he was about to tell her would be the most difficult thing he had ever had to do up until this point. His daughter's entire world was about to be shattered. _

"_Hi, Dad," Alex greeted cheerily. "Your mission's already done? You headed home now?" _

"_Hi," he repeated, instantly feeling nauseated from knowing that his daughter's cheery mood was about to smothered by grief. "My mission is done and I'm getting on a plane to the states in about an hour… but not to Coronado."_

"_Oh, where are you going?"_

"_Honolulu." _

"_Why?" As far as she knew, her dad never visited her Grandpa. The only time they ever really saw each other was when she was there, too. _

_Steve expelled a trembling breath. "There's something I need to tell you. It's about Grandpa." _

"_What about him?" _

"_Something happened, Sweetheart," he told her, not really knowing how to go about this. "Grandpa – he – he's gone, Alex. Grandpa died." _

"_What?" Alex shouted through the phone. "No he's not!"_

"_Yes, he is," Steve told her. "I'm going to Hawaii to take care of everything." He blinked away the moisture in his eyes and forcibly swallowed the lump in his throat. "He died –"_

"_Stop lying!" Alex shouted at him. "Why are you lying to me?" With that, the line went dead and all Steve could hear was the dial tone. He sighed and hung his head, holding his cell phone in his hand. He sensed what his daughter was doing right now and he expected her to call him back shortly. Sure enough, not even three minutes later, his phone was vibrating in his hand. "He won't answer any of his phones," Alex told him with a tearful voice. "Why won't he answer?" She now sounded panicky. "He always answers my calls." _

"_He's gone, Sweetheart," Steve told her again. "I wish it wasn't true but he is." His heart broke when he heard his daughter's sobs coming through the phone. He wanted nothing more than to be there right now, in that apartment, holding his thirteen year old as she was consumed with grief that, he was sure, felt like a stab to her heart. _

"_She locked herself in her room, Steve," Cindy told him after it had grown quiet for a long minute. _

"_I'm getting ready to head to Honolulu," he told her, not bothering to mention that he had a quick layover at Yokota Air Force Base in Japan before heading to LAX, where he would hop on a private jet bound for Oahu. "The funeral will probably be in three or four days." He needed to contact his sister and work out some of the funeral plans with her before solidifying any plans. "Once that's confirmed, if I send you an email with an e-ticket for Alex, can you make sure she's on a flight to Honolulu?" _

"_Yeah, sure," Cindy replied. "A heart attack." _

"_What?" _

"_A heart attack," she repeated, lowering her voice. "That's what we'll tell her if she asks," she explained, referring to their previous conversation when they had decided that Alex was too young to learn of the gruesome details of John's death. _

"I called my Dad a liar because I couldn't believe that Grandpa had died." Alex sighed. "I hadn't thought about that evening in awhile but now I can't get it out of my head." She looked at Chin, locking eyes with him when they stopped at a traffic light. "My dad had lost his best friend and his dad in less than twenty-four hours of each other and I called him a liar."

"You were hurting, Alex," he reminded her. "You idolized your grandfather – he was your whole world; he was your hero – and no one ever expects their hero to die."

Alex didn't say anything for a couple of minutes, long after he had continued through the green light, driven a few blocks, and turned onto his street. "Sometimes I wonder how my Dad was able to get through losing them both back-to-back like that."

Chin pulled his truck into his driveway. "He had you," he told her. "He had a responsibility to continue living for you, just like I have a responsibility to Malia to continue living my life. It's what she would want me to do, no matter how much it hurts sometimes."

Alex smiled. "I think she'd be proud of you for not letting the pain control you. And for letting the love you both had for each other carry you through the hard times."

"Thanks," Chin said, returning her smile. "Were you able to get all of your homework done?" When Alex nodded in response, he suggested, "How about we go inside and get Anchor and then go grab dinner to take up to Makapu'u Lookout?"

"Sounds great, Uncle Chin!"

* * *

Steve, wearing his dress blues, stood at attention with Catherine on his left and Alex on his right. It was a true military funeral with seven young sailors waiting for the command to begin the twenty-one gun salute, the group of other sailors standing opposite them, and Freddie's friends and family sitting nearby; in front of them all was the flag draped coffin which brought them all together. Steve stared at the coffin, only barely registering what the chaplain had said previously, as he struggled to maintain military composure.

"Let us not despair," he heard the chaplain say. "Instead, let us celebrate Commander Freddie Hart's life."

Steve watched as the group of six sailors bent down and, with supreme military order and precision, lifted the flag from the top of the coffin, snapping it straight so it was flat at around shoulder height. The first round of seven gunshots rang out. The flag was folded in half lengthwise. The second round of shots rang out; the triangular folding of the flag began. The third and final round of shots rang out. The folding of the flag was complete; the red and white stripes didn't show; only the white stars on blue background were visible. The Rear Admiral who had been standing on the other side of Alex stepped forward, taking the fold flag from a young sailor. He turned and knelt on one knee in front of Freddie's widow, offering her the flag.

"On behalf of a grateful nation and a proud Navy, I present you this flag in recognition of your husband's years of honorable and faithful service to his country." With the flag now in Kelly's hands, the Rear Admiral stood up and saluted her; a gesture of respect and gratitude; an acknowledgment of her sacrifice as well as her husband's.

When the salute was dropped, Steve stepped forward, placing a white gloved hand on Kelly's shoulder as he stepped alongside her. Bypassing her, he approached Freddie's mother, hugging her as she greeted him by using his first name.

"Thank you," she said as they dropped the embrace. He couldn't find the words to reply so he just gave her a small smile before turning to face Freddie's father.

Freddie's father shook his hand. "Commander, thank you for bringing our boy home."

Steve nodded, searching inside him for the strength to respond. "My privilege, Sir." He moved back towards Kelly, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. Then, with a slight glance at his own daughter, he knelt down in front of Freddie's daughter, the little blonde girl seated on Kelly's left. He sniffled, struggling to control his emotions, as he removed a set of dog tags – Freddie's dog tags – from his left pocket. "I loved your daddy," Steve told the girl as tears filled his eyes. "And I know he would have loved you very much." He leaned forward, draping the dog tags around the girls' neck and watching as her little fingers toyed with them. "Now wherever you go, he'll always be with you." He glanced once more at Kelly before standing up. Looking over the seated crowd, he spotted his team; their attendance at Freddie's funeral meant the world to him. He sniffled again as he blinked away the tears. Freddie's parents approached him again and started talking; Steve finally relented, accepting Freddie's mother's invitation for him, Catherine, and Alex to join them for dinner at their house the following night.

Freddie's loved ones left ten minutes later – it had broken his heart when he had spotted Freddie's daughter placing a kiss on Freddie's coffin – and Steve finally turned his attention back to the spot where he had been standing earlier. He shared a look with Catherine; her love and concern for him clear in her eyes. When he noticed that Alex was nowhere to be seen, he raised his eyebrows in question as he walked over to Catherine. When he reached her, he was surprised to see what she held up for him to see: Alex's dress shoes. "She gave me these and walked away." She nodded towards a spot down the road. "When she got far enough away to not cause a distraction, she started to run." He expelled a shaky breath and she could see the emotional pain in his eyes. "I let her go because –"

"It's what I would've done," he finished for her, his eyes focused on the direction where Alex had run. They both knew Alex well enough to understand that their daughter was hurting. She was grieving and, in true Alex fashion, she would run until she couldn't anymore. Only then would she give into the tears. He was pretty sure that a teenage girl running through the streets of Honolulu barefoot, in a black mourning dress no less, would certainly grab the attention of everyone she passed. As much as he would prefer to not have her subjected to that kind of embarrassment and attention, he knew that he had to let her go. He had to let her grieve in her own way. Steve sighed, looking at Catherine again.

"I know," she told him. And she did. She understood how difficult this had been for him – she had been there when he had broken down at the sight of Freddie's desecrated remains – and she knew that he was holding onto so much guilt. She also sensed that he would start having nightmares again, this time about his and Freddie's last mission. On top of that, she knew he was exhausted – run down from the emotional roller coaster and adrenaline rush they had been operating under – and he still probably had a headache from the head injury he had acquired in the car accident. She knew that he was thinking about his daughter; everything they had been through the last couple of days told her that he just wanted to hold Alex and never let go. "Let's finish up here and go home."

* * *

When they arrived home, Catherine headed directly upstairs to change out of her uniform while Steve headed straight for the backyard to let Anchor, who had been standing by the door to the lanai, scratching to be let out, outside. As soon as Steve opened the door, he saw the reason for Anchor's unusual behavior: Alex. His daughter was standing in the sand of their private beach, her long hair blowing in the breeze behind her. Donning his headgear again, he walked through the grass of the backyard towards her. When he was less than five steps from her, she turned to face him. "I'm sorry. I just –"

"I know," he said, holding out his arms, allowing her to step into his embrace. "I know," he repeated, dropping a kiss to the top of her head as she started to cry into his chest. "I miss him, too," he murmured, finally allowing a few teardrops to fall down his cheeks. They stood there, grieving silently together, oblivious to anything else going on around them, for awhile; Steve estimated ten minutes had passed before Alex released her hold on him.

Stepping back, Alex wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Sorry," she said, eyeing his dress blue jacket. "I messed up your jacket."

"It's okay," Steve told her. "It's due to go to the dry cleaners soon anyway." His shoes were now scuffed, too, but he didn't really care. He'd take care of those later, before he needed to wear them again. He watched as Alex turned to face the ocean. Anchor came up to him, licking his hand before dropping a tennis ball at his feet, so he bent down and picked up the ball, tossing it into the water and watching Anchor excitedly go after it.

"I was doing okay," Alex told him although her eyes never drifted from the ocean. "Until you started talking to his daughter." She turned to look at him. "Then I just lost it. All these memories just flashed in my mind and I had to get out of there before I had a complete breakdown." There was even more to it than that – it wasn't just memories of the past that had made her emotional – but she wasn't quite ready to admit that she, too, in addition to her dad, was feeling a tremendous amount of guilt.

Steve had to smile at one of her statements. "We certainly have a lot of memories of him, don't we?" Freddie had been around a lot of the time during Alex's early childhood. So many fun memories of Alex's visits to see him in Coronado involved Freddie in one way or another. "He was really good at making you laugh, wasn't he?"

Alex smiled. "Yes, he was."

A quick memory flashed through his head. During one of Alex's visits he had been called to his commander's office for a last minute one-on-one meeting. As a result, he had been in desperate need of a sitter and Freddie had volunteered to stay with Alex. When Steve had gotten back to his apartment later that evening, his living room and dining room had been converted into a big fort, with blankets and sheets draped from one chair to another, from the back of the couch to the back of the TV; Alex's laughter had been echoing through the air and her stuffed animals and dolls had been serving as guards at the two entrances/exits of the fort. After figuring out the password to the fort – it had been Seal – he had crawled on hands and knees into the fort, finding Alex snuggled up next to Freddie as they watched _Lilo & Stitch_ on his personal laptop. Steve smiled at the memory. "I've got an idea," he said, tossing the ball one more time for Anchor to fetch. "How about we go inside, change our clothes, and teach Mom how to build an epic fort in the living room?"

Alex shot him a surprised look. "Epic as in Freddie epic?"

Steve nodded. "Freddie epic."

* * *

"Steve?" Catherine asked, dropping a kiss to his shoulder before moving to stand beside him. "What's wrong?" The three of them had built a fort in the living room earlier – it had yet to be dismantled – and, after eating their Japanese food which had been delivered to the house, they had relaxed in the fort together, just chatting. They had considered spending the night down there but her cracked rib and the mere exhaustion from the last couple of days had made them change their minds. The three of them had headed to bed only three hours ago yet here Steve was, standing in the doorway of Alex's room, watching her sleep.

"Nothing," he told her.

Catherine didn't believe him because, despite what he told her, the look in his eyes told her differently. "She's okay, Steve." She reached for his hand, lacing her fingers with his. "Come back to bed and we'll talk about whatever's weighing on your mind." Steve looked at her; she would probably never understand why he always seemed so surprised by her knowing him as well as she did. "Come on, Sailor." Once they were settled back in bed, Catherine propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at his face. "Okay, spill it."

Steve sighed. "That could have been Alex today," he told her. "It could have been her sitting there, receiving the flag that draped my coffin and having my dog tags put around her neck." His eyes filled with tears. "I know I shouldn't dwell on it because it wasn't her but…" he expelled a shaky breath. "I should have died that day. It should have been me and not Freddie."

"Steve –"

"Freddie should have had the chance to meet his daughter."

"You're right," Catherine told him, tenderly stroking her fingers through his hair. She understood what he had said but she also understood what he had not said. "It's not fair that Freddie never got to hold his daughter but we both know that nothing is guaranteed in life. I don't know why things can be so unbalanced and unfair – why some men get to meet their children and others don't – but, babe, you can't go through life telling yourself that you are less deserving than Freddie of being granted time with your daughter. I don't know why Freddie had to die before his daughter was born. All I know is that _you_ survived that mission for a reason. You might not ever know that reason but you can't question it and you can't allow yourself to feel guilty because of it."

* * *

**A/N: As always, thank you for reading. Please leave a review if you are inclined to do so : -)**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: HBSpud, 92, sunny irish, AnonGuest, FicreaderT, Angel, Runner043, francis2, camps1893, loveRnB, pinkphoenix1985, JMReagan, Rolodexthoughts, Craftygirl11, and war sage. Thank you also to those new readers who have favorited or followed this story. I appreciate all of you. **

**A small part of this chapter was inspired by a conversation I had with pinkphoenix1985 many, many months ago… although it's not exactly as we had discussed. **

**Hope you enjoy this chapter and I apologize for any tears this may cause. **

* * *

"I can't believe how grown up she is," Mrs. Hart commented, nodding towards the teenager who was standing below them in the backyard and talking to Kelly and Catherine. "It seems just like yesterday that the two of you plus Cindy were sitting down at our table eating Thanksgiving dinner."

Steve nodded, taking a sip from his Longboard beer bottle, before leaning down and resting his forearms on the railing of the deck that overlooked Kaneohe Bay. "She'll be sixteen next month." He looked at the woman beside him and sighed. "Where has the time gone?"

"When it comes to our children, the time always passes too quickly," Mrs. Hart replied, a hint of nostalgia in her tone as she patted him tenderly on the forearm. "Almost sixteen," she stated, glancing back at Alex before looking at Steve again. "Does she have a boyfriend?"

He shook his head. "She's not allowed to date until she's sixteen." He took another swig of his beer. "Although," he muttered with a hint of irritation in his voice, "knowing her and Josh, they'll probably start dating the very _second_ she turns sixteen." Heck, at this point, based on shared looks between the two and the occasional moony expression on his daughter's face after she had spent time with Josh, he had a feeling that the two teenagers, much to his dismay, probably acted like they were already dating when they were alone. He hated to think that the kids' study session might consist more of studying each other rather than their SAT prep books. The only thing which calmed his suspicions was the fact that both kids performed well on the practice tests, showing that they were getting at least some studying accomplished.

"Josh?"

"A friend of hers," Steve explained, his eyes focused on his daughter. "Don't get me wrong; Josh is a good kid. He even asked my permission to date her once she's old enough." He sighed again. "It's just…"

"She's your little girl and it's hard for you to start letting go," she finished for him. When Steve still looked a little uncomfortable, she added, "You've done a good job with her. That was so sweet what she did for my granddaughter."

A smile appeared on Steve's face and pride at his daughter's selfless act filled him to the core. Freddie's mother was referring to the gift that Alex had given the little girl: a photo album full of pictures of Freddie. He had woken up at four that morning to use the restroom and, on his way back to the bedroom, he had seen a light shining through the sheets of the fort they had constructed in the living room yesterday. On further look he had seen Anchor's head sticking out of the front entrance to the fort, obviously guarding the girl that they both loved. He had headed downstairs and, on hands and knees, had entered the fort through the side entrance, where he discovered his daughter taking photos of Freddie out of an album that had been put together nearly a decade earlier. He had inquired as to what she was doing and she had informed him that she wanted to put an album together for Freddie's daughter. "Alex hates that Freddie never got to meet Hope. She wants her to know him." He cleared his throat and blinked away the tears in his eyes. "The same way that she had known him when she was younger: his humor; his ability to make her laugh like no one else could; his dedication to duty; his love of country." A hint of a smile appeared on his face, as a memory flooded his mind. "How Freddie once tried to resuscitate a stray kitten that Alex found outside and then planned a funeral for it just to make Alex feel better."

"I remember him telling me about that," Mrs. Hart replied, nodding as she reflected on all of those things she missed about her heroic son. "Now that we're living in Hawaii, I hope you stop by every now and then, especially as Hope gets older, to share with her your memories of Freddie."

"Of course," Steve replied, knowing that if it had been him who had died in North Korea, Freddie would not have hesitated to remain an active part of Alex's life. "When exactly did you move out here?" As had been stressed to him prior to heading into North Korea on the mission that had taken Freddie's life, the mission had been so covert that it would be deemed to never have existed, meaning Freddie's service there had never been acknowledged by the U.S. Government. Steve knew that the Hart's had questions about what had happened to their son but, apart from the immense guilt he had felt – it had been him, after all, who had selected Freddie for the mission – his service to his country had required that he remain quiet about the whole thing. That had essentially led to him losing contact with the Hart's; he just hadn't been able to speak them without hating himself for not being able to give them the answers they had so desperately needed. The last time he had spoken to them, more than three years ago, they had still been living on the mainland.

"Only six weeks ago," Mrs. Hart told him. "We had decided a long time ago that we wanted to retire out here. Freddie always loved the stories you told us about growing up here and he wanted to raise his family here. He and Kelly talked about moving out here after the baby was born; he was going to request a transfer to Pearl Harbor to become an instructor at the SEAL training facility there."

That was news to Steve. He had no idea that Freddie had been planning on leaving their active SEAL unit. "He never told me about the transfer."

"He was waiting until your unit got back from deployment," she informed him. "Anyways, ever since Hope's birth, Kelly kept mentioning that she wanted to keep Freddie's dream alive. She worked on saving up money." Without knowing what had happened to Freddie, Kelly had not been eligible to receive his life insurance benefits. Now, with Freddie's body buried on American soil, Kelly would receive those funds in a couple of weeks, once all of the necessary paperwork was submitted. "We finally decided to stop waiting so we took the plunge and moved here." For the first two years after Freddie had headed back overseas after his two week leave, the three of them had been fearful of packing up and moving; what if Freddie had finally come home and they hadn't been there? "We told Kelly that she and Hope could live with us until she had enough money to get a house of her own."

"He loved that little girl," Steve told her as some of Freddie's last words echoed in his head. "He told me about her," he continued, a smile appearing on his face as he remembered Freddie's laughter and grin. "He was so excited about Kelly being pregnant. He would have been a great father."

"Yes, he would have," Mrs. Hart agreed, giving into a wistful smile. "How could he not be?" she asked, her smile changing to a happy one as she looked up at him. "He had his dad and you as examples of great fathers."

Steve winced slightly at that as he watched his daughter in the yard below them. "I think you're giving me more credit than I deserve. Sometimes I think I should have done things differently with her."

Mrs. Hart nodded towards the teenager. "You've done a good job with her. Don't ever question that."

"Thanks," he replied, taking another swig of his beer. "We've come a long way in the last two years."

"Is that when you she came to live with you again?"

Steve nodded. "What started as a summer visit turned into me getting sole custody."

"Sole custody?" Mrs. Hart asked, a look of surprise on her face. "Cindy doesn't see her anymore?"

"It was… complicated," Steve told her before a hint of hurt flashed in his eyes. "Cindy died unexpectedly fourteen months ago."

"I am so sorry, Steve," Mrs. Hart told him as she covered his hand with her own and gave it a little squeeze. "I know how much you loved each other at one time."

"Thank you," Steve told her, giving into a grateful smile.

She then watched as his gaze drifted to the backyard again where it settled on the beautiful brunette he had introduced just yesterday as his fiancée. Instantly, Mrs. Hart could see the calming effect that Catherine had on him. "Catherine seems great."

"She is," Steve replied, giving into a smile. "She's amazing." He gave into a laugh, still not quite able to believe that Catherine would become his wife in a couple of months. "She loves and understands me better than anyone ever has and what's she done for Alex…" he trailed off. It still took his breath away every single day when he thought about how much positivity Catherine had brought into Alex's life. "She truly loves my daughter." He glanced at Freddie's mother again. "She's adopting Alex. It should be finalized next week."

"That's great, Steve," Mrs. Hart exclaimed, a smile gracing her face. "I can almost hear it… Freddie's laughter as he tells you he told you so. He would be so happy to know that you are getting married and that Alex is living with you again."

* * *

"How are you doing, Alexandra?" Freddie's father asked, looking down the table at the teenager. Alex was just sitting there, non-talkative with very little of her food having yet to be consumed. "Everything taste okay?"

When his daughter didn't reply, Steve reached around Catherine's back and nudged Alex on the shoulder. That got her attention. When she jerked her head to look at him, he sent her a disapproving look and told her, "Don't be rude. Answer Mr. Hart's questions."

Confusion flickered in her eyes briefly; she hadn't heard a single word that had been spoken at the table. Then she looked past her Dad at Mr. Hart who was sitting at the head of the table. "I'm sorry, Sir. What did you ask?"

"I notice you haven't eaten very much," he commented. "You don't like it?"

"No. I mean, it tastes great, Sir," Alex said, letting her gaze drift across the table to the little blonde girl who was wearing Freddie's dog tags. "I, um," she dropped her gaze downward. "I'm sorry," she said, pushing her chair back. "Please excuse me." She stood up and hurried out of the dining room.

Steve and Catherine both took their napkins off of their laps and set them on the table, a clear sign that they were considering going after their daughter. Mrs. Hart spoke up. "I'll go. If that's okay with you." When Catherine and Steve both nodded, picking their forks back up to resume their meal, she stood and left the table. She walked down the hallway, coming to stop outside the hall bathroom, which was slightly ajar. She knocked twice then pushed the door open. Alex was sitting on the side of the tub, her head cradled in her hands. Closing the door behind her, Mrs. Hart stepped into the bathroom and grabbed a tissue from the box of Kleenex on the countertop. Then, sitting on top of the closed toilet lid, she placed a comforting hand on Alex's back and, when Alex lifted her head to look at her, she handed the teenager the Kleenex. "Thanks," Alex said quietly, dabbing at her eyes before blowing her nose.

"You don't need to feel guilty." Alex's face took on a look of a surprise at her comment. "Don't feel guilty about your dad sitting out there at that table while my son isn't."

Tears filled her eyes again. "They never got to meet each other." She blew her nose again. "Freddie was so great with me and I wasn't even his kid. Hope should have been given the chance to experience that for herself."

"My son would have been a great father," Mrs. Hart stated, remembering how amazing Freddie had been interacting with the young Alex. "Of that I have absolutely no doubts." She reached over and brushed some hair off of Alex's face. "But, honey, you –"

"When Freddie died, I already had thirteen years with my dad," Alex interrupted. "I love my dad and I'm not saying I wish it was him that died but…" a few more tears made their way down her cheeks. "It's not fair that I still get more time with my Dad when Hope didn't even get one day with Freddie."

"My son died doing what he loved," Mrs. Hart replied. "As much as I miss him, I am so proud of him."

Alex looked at Mrs. Hart as more tears brimmed in her eyes. "He died so that my dad could live." Her dad hadn't stated that to her exactly but, based on the fact that he had to be the one to go recover Freddie's body, coupled with the tremendous amount of guilt she could see in her dad's eyes, she had been able to put all of the pieces together. All of them had. "He died so that my dad could come back to me. How can you not be angry about that?"

"He died the same way he lived – serving our country – and, for that, I can never be angry," Mrs. Hart told her. "And, yes, maybe his final act in life was to make sure your Dad came back alive to you but I'm not angry about that."

"How can you not be?" Alex asked her as she thought about all of the things she loved most about having a dad. "He never got to hold her. Hope will never get to feel his arms wrap around her in a hug. She'll never hear him tell her that he loves her." A few more tears escaped her eyes. "She'll never know what it's like to have a tea party with her dad or to dance with him in the living room or…" she trailed off, unable to voice the endless list of experiences she had shared with her own dad.

"I don't know details of all the missions your Dad and Freddie were involved in over the years," Mrs. Hart interrupted as she reached over and placed a comforting hand on Alex's back, where she started to rub soothing circles with her palm. "But I've seen the injuries and scars; I've seen the Purple Hearts; I've witnessed the nightmares. All I know for sure is that your Dad played an instrumental role in making sure Freddie came home after all of those missions with their SEAL team." Locking eyes with the teenager, she firmly stated, "Your dad helped keep my son alive long enough so he could create that little girl out there. I will never completely lose Freddie because his spirit is alive and well in his daughter. I see so much of him in her and, for that, I am eternally grateful."

Alex sniffled again. "Does it hurt to see my Dad with me? To see us together?" She wiped her eyes with her hand. "I mean, doesn't it bother you to know that Freddie can't be here to experience all of the things my Dad got to experience with me? Like see Hope go to kindergarten or learn how to ride a bike or become a teenager?" She lowered her voice to just above a whisper, her tone betraying the immense emotional pain she was feeling. "Does it hurt to know that Hope will only know her dad through pictures?"

"Yes," Mrs. Hart replied honestly. "It does hurt to know that Hope will never get to know how wonderful her dad was and that she'll never get to hear him laugh." _She'll miss out on so much. _She stood up and pulled a washcloth out of the linen closet. Wetting the washcloth, she continued, "But, no, it does not hurt to see you and your Dad. I'm happy that you have each other." She rinsed out the washcloth, sitting back down on the lid to the toilet and began to wipe Alex's face with the moist cloth. "I'm glad that your dad came back from that mission. As much as I miss my son – as hard as this has been on all of us – it would have been even worse if two girls lost their daddies that day."

Alex reached up and wrapped her fingers around the woman's wrist. With her other hand, she took the washcloth out of Mrs. Hart's hand. "Thanks," she told her with a grateful smile on her face before standing up and tossing the Kleenex in the small trash can next to the toilet.

The woman returned her smile. "You're welcome," she returned, standing up. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Whenever you start feeling sad about Hope not having her dad around," Mrs. Hart said, taking the washcloth from Alex and hanging it on the towel bar to dry. "Whenever you feel guilty, can you promise to go spend time with your Dad? Do something fun. Make wonderful memories that will last a lifetime. It's what Freddie would have wanted." She rested her hand on the door handle and pulled it open, stepping into the hallway.

"Yes, Ma'am," Alex repeated, following the woman into the hall. "Mrs. Hart?"

"Yes?" she replied, stopping in the hallway and turning around to face the teenager.

"I'm sorry about Freddie," Alex said to her. "But thank you for raising him to become one of my heroes."

* * *

"Can we make S'mores?"

Steve glanced at his watch, the glow of the clock hands telling him it was nearing eleven. Earlier at the Hart's he had been concerned when his daughter had left the table in an emotional rush but his concern had lessened when, after returning to the table with Freddie's mother, Alex had appeared to be better. She had been mentally present, engaging in a long chat with Freddie's father about her interest in the Naval Academy, and, later, joining Catherine in swapping dessert recipes with Kelly and Freddie's mother. They had left the Hart's around eight-thirty and, during their drive across the island, Alex had surprised him and Catherine by asking if they could set the tent up in the backyard and have a family campout that night. Having locked eyes with her in the rearview mirror, he had sensed that, despite the fact that they would not get home until nine at night, he needed to respond positively to her spontaneous request. There had just been something in her eyes that had compelled him to say yes.

As soon as they had gotten home, they had all headed upstairs to change their clothes and then, while Catherine had taken Anchor for his walk, he and Alex had headed to the garage where they had pulled out the tent, sleeping bags, and other necessary equipment, to include the fire pit which satisfied Alex's yearning for as real a campout as they could make it. They had finished setting everything up about half an hour ago and they had just been relaxing on a blanket outside of the tent, looking up at the stars, since then. Steve glanced at Catherine and then back at his daughter. "S'mores? Really?" When Alex nodded – she had that same look in her eyes from earlier – he nodded. "Go grab everything we need," he told her. She was instantly upright, turning to head towards the house. "That includes your Lactaid," he reminded her, not wanting a repeat of what had happened the previous weekend when she had consumed some milk chocolate without taking her medication first. "You think this is crazy, don't you?" Steve asked Catherine as soon as his daughter was out of earshot.

"Why would I think that?" Catherine asked in return as she sat up, resting her palm on his abdomen.

He reached a hand up and brushed a strand of hair off her face, taking a moment to stroke her cheek with his thumb before sitting up and giving into a shrug. "What other dad lets his daughter convince him to set up a tent in the backyard at nine at night?"

"Only the good ones," she told him, wrapping her arms around his neck and placing a quick kiss to his lips. "I see it too, Steve," she said when she pulled back a little. When he raised his eyebrows in question, she explained, "That look in her eyes. Whatever it is, she needs this time with us. With you."

When Steve nodded in agreement but didn't say anything, she added, "I see what's in your eyes, too. You're still feeling guilty and not just about making it out of that jungle while Freddie didn't. You also feel guilty about having been away from Alex for so long and now you want to make up for lost time."

Steve gave into a chuckle, amused at how well Catherine knew him. The events of the last couple of days had profoundly affected him. Even though he had always known it, yesterday's funeral had made him realize that his time with his daughter would eventually run out. That, more than anything else, was the hardest part of being a parent. He had spent more than enough time away from his daughter, not creating memories with her; he'd be damned if he allowed that to happen again. "So you won't be mad if I decide to steal her away tomorrow for a day out, just the two of us?"

"Of course not," Catherine replied. "She's your daughter."

"She'll be your daughter soon, too," Steve reminded her, a contented smile appearing on his face. "Hopefully in less than 72 hours."

"Okay," Alex said as she rejoined them with her hands full of items to make the S'mores. Kneeling next to them, she dropped the bag of marshmallows, wrapped Hershey bar, box of graham crackers, and three skewers onto the blanket. "We're going to need to buy more marshmallows." She looked at her parents. "You were talking about me, weren't you?"

"What makes you say that?" Catherine asked her.

"Because you both have that look on your face."

"Well," Steve said, reaching for the bag of marshmallows. "I was thinking you and I could have one of our dates together tomorrow."

"Will we be back in time for the barbecue at Seth's?" Seth's parents had called her dad earlier that day, telling him that Seth was ready to see his friends again and inviting everyone over for a dinner get-together. Alex was excited to see her friend, to get visual confirmation that he was okay, but, based on her own experience, she wondered if he was truly ready to be surrounded by a lot of people.

Steve nodded, handing a skewer and marshmallow to Catherine. "Of course." Taking a marshmallow out of the bag, he handed it to Alex. "So?"

"Sure," Alex replied, stabbing the marshmallow with the skewer. "But when are we going for our mani-pedi's?"

"We can go on Sunday," Catherine told her, toasting her marshmallow over the fire in the fire pit. "How about we start planning your birthday party?"

"I don't know about you," Steve stated, opening the chocolate bar. "But I was thinking we could go all out. You know, have everyone show up mid-morning and you celebrate all day until it's time for dinner and cake." Alex and Catherine both turned and stared at him. "What?"

"You're going to throw me a party that lasts all day long?"

"Everyone knows that I've tried to pretend that it's not happening," Steve replied, shocking Catherine and Alex with his honesty. "But I can't deny it anymore. You're growing up, Sweetheart, and you only turn sixteen once." He shrugged. "I figure, since I have the best kid in the world, I need to make sure she has the best Sweet Sixteen party in the world."

Alex threw her arms around Steve's neck, careful to not poke anyone with the toasted marshmallow on the end of the skewer. "Thanks, Dad."

After stacking a piece of chocolate on top of a piece of graham cracker, Steve held it out for Alex to stick her toasted marshmallow on and used the second graham cracker to finish making the dessert. Once Alex was happily munching on her S'more, Steve leaned over and whispered in Catherine's ear. "If she even mentions playing Spin the Bottle or Seven Minutes in Heaven…"

* * *

Seeing a tense Josh come back inside the house, Alex looked out the window at Seth, who was now standing alone in the backyard. Excusing herself from the conversation, she headed outside, stepping into place next to Seth, who was standing next to the fence, looking out at the Hawaii Kai Marina that bordered the backyard. She rested her arms on the top of the wrought iron, five foot tall fence, leaning forward as she glanced at him before taking in the view of the mountains in the distance. Out here, in the evening sun, there was no mistaking the yellowing bruise around his left eye; the swollen scab on his bottom lip made her wonder how many people had beaten him up. The patches of peeling skin on his arms and face reminded her of the sunburn she had acquired during her time spent in the jungle after being released by her kidnappers.

"I suppose you're going to stay mad at me, too," Seth finally said, turning to look at her. "Just like Tracy and Josh."

"I'm not mad at you, Seth," Alex told him, turning to face him. "I never was mad at you. I was confused by your behavior before you went missing and then I was scared."

"I was scared the whole time," he muttered, turning back around to face the water.

"They were both scared, too," Alex told him. "Just so you know."

"Sure as hell don't act like they were."

"You didn't treat them very well," she reminded him. "You know that and so do I."

"I was trying to protect all of you," Seth exclaimed, frustration evident in his tone. "I…" he trailed off, blowing out a heavy breath.

Alex reached over and grabbed his shaky hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Give them some time and space; they'll come around." Giving him an encouraging smile, she added, "And until they do, you and I can hang out together, without them."

"You're taking this so much better than they did."

Alex shrugged. "I know what it's like to be scared. I'd be lying if I said I've never run when I've been scared." She shrugged again. "I don't know exactly what happened to you. I don't know what made you scared but, honestly, I don't need to know because I believe you when you say you felt like you had no other option. You obviously went through something traumatic but you're back now. You're safe. That's all that matters to me."

Seth gave her a smile and then hugged her. "Thanks."

"Should I be jealous?" Josh's question caused them to break the hug.

"Should I?" Tracy asked, when Seth and Alex turned to look at them.

"Jealous?" Alex asked, a look of confusion plastered on her face.

Josh nodded, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "First you're holding hands and now you're hugging."

"Are you kidding me?" Alex asked, recognizing the look in Josh's eyes that told her exactly what was going through his mind. She glanced at Seth, who had yet to say a word to their friends, before looking back at Josh. "Are you serious?"

"Of course we're kidding," Tracy replied, taking more steps towards them. "I know you two look at each other like siblings."

"You might have been joking," Alex stated, her eyes still on Josh. "But Josh isn't."

"Sure I am," Josh argued.

"Oh yeah?" Alex asked, confident that she had seen a twinge of true jealousy in his eyes moments earlier. It had been the same look as Monday and Thursday afternoons when he had found her talking to a boy from her Japanese class in the school hallway after school. Only one way to find out for sure. "And what would you do if I kissed him just now?" Something flashed in his eyes, confirming what she already knew. "That's what I thought. You gonna get like this every time I talk to a guy?"

"Hey," Seth said, looking at Tracy uncomfortably as he watched the interaction between two of his friends. "Um, how about we all hop in the pool. Maybe play some pool basketball?"

Alex nodded, tearing her gaze from Josh to look at Seth. "Yeah, okay."

"Sounds great," Tracy replied, grabbing Seth's hand and giving him a smile when he gave her a look of surprise. They started moving towards the pool with Alex just two steps behind them.

"Alex," Josh said, reaching his hand out to grab hers.

"Don't," she replied, pulling out of his grasp.

"Alex," he said, trying again.

She shook her head. "That's three times in less than a week, Josh. Is this what you're going to be like if we start dating?"

"_If_?" he asked with a look of mild shock on his face. "I thought we had already decided to start dating once you –"

"Not if you're going to turn into some jealous jerk who…" she trailed off, looking past him at their friends who were removing their out layer of clothing to reveal their swim wear. "We'll just talk about it later, okay?"

"Alex," he said, this time with more insistence in his voice. "I'm –"

"This is supposed to be Seth's night," she interrupted him. "Let's not ruin it for him by having a fight."

* * *

"I'm not telling you what's going on with me and Josh," Alex told him, omitting the traditional greeting when answering the phone.

"That's not why I'm calling," Steve told her, trying his best to keep his anxiety in check. He was still curious as to what had taken place between Alex and Josh last night while at Seth's house – she had refused to tell either him or Catherine last night – but, right now, there was something more urgent he needed to attend to. "Why are you answering Mom's phone?"

"She left her phone with me while she went to the bathroom," Alex replied. "She's coming back now."

"Okay, give her the phone as soon as she gets back."

"What's wrong?"

"Put your mother on the phone, please," Steve instructed her. He heard muffled voices before Catherine's voice came on the line.

"Hey, Babe," she greeted. "Everything okay?"

"No," he answered honestly. "Where are you?"

"We just finished up at the salon," she told him. "We're going to head to the Marketplace for lunch."

"No," he told her, fear coursing through his veins as he thought of them being out in public. "I need you to take Alex some place safe."

"Steve, what's going on?"

"No, you know what?" he continued as if he had not even heard her question. "Go to base. You'll both be safe there." Naval Base Pearl Harbor would be one of the safest places on the island for them as Wo Fat's chances for entering were slim to none thanks to the rigid security procedures at the front gate.

"Steve," she said again, "What's going on?"

He expelled a breath. "He's back, Cath. Wo Fat's back." Less than an hour ago, his team, being followed by some pesky daytime talk show host, had been at a crime scene where the victim had been mutilated beyond recognition. He had been roughly twenty feet away when he had recognized the man wearing a HPD uniform as Wo Fat. A shootout had ensued; Wo Fat had gotten away. "Please, Cath, just go to base and I'll call you when it's safe to go home."

Little did he know that he would actually be calling her sooner than expected, but not to provide her with the 'all clear' message; rather, he would end up calling her to ask for her help with their case.

* * *

**A/N: I was a little confused as to where Freddie's funeral was supposed to take place so, in the last chapter, I placed it in Honolulu. As a result, I felt it was important to explain how Freddie's family ended up living in Hawaii. **

**FicreaderT – That thing that I said was going to happen at the end of this chapter… I had to move it to the next one. Sorry!**


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter (mostly a filler chapter); life just got really busy. **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: Angel, ****GeishaXnoXHimitsu**, **sunny irish, JM Reagan, pinkphoenix1985, Guest, fiveofan, Runner043, AnonGuest, francis2, Craftygirl11, FicreaderT, Rolodexthoughts, and war sage. Thanks to the new readers who have favorited/followed my story. Also, a huge thank you to Rolodexthoughts for reading over part of this chapter and giving me honest feedback about it. Also, thanks to FicreaderT for helping come up with the names of Catherine's parents (she even went as far as trying to contact someone associated with the show). Neither of us was able to find anything from the show writers about their names so if, later down the line, the show mentions the names of Mr. and Mrs. Rollins, please do not the inaccuracy against me. (If anyone does know their names let me know and I can republish this chapter with their corrected names). **

**Warning: this chapter refers to the last few minutes of episode 21 in case you have yet to watch it. **

* * *

"Here's my contribution to the vocabulary words," Alex stated, tossing the rubber-banded index cards on the table top of the conference room in Headquarters. She pulled a notebook, pen, and her well-used SAT study guide book with little colored tabs sticking out on the side out of her backpack and then sat down.

"I didn't finish making all of mine," Josh told her, looking at her from across the table. Last week they had gone through the reading section of their study guides, jotting down a list of all of the words they had come across that they didn't know the definitions for, and then had separated the list in two. They had given themselves a week to get the note cards written and today was the agreed upon deadline. "I was going to," he explained, seeing the annoyance flash in her eyes. "I was working on them last night actually but then you texted me back and –"

"So it's my fault?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "You answered my question like I had asked you to. I just…" he trailed off, giving into a slight shrug of his shoulders. "I spent the rest of the night thinking about what you said and I—"

"I don't really want to talk about this right now," Alex told him, flipping through the study guide until she found the page where they had last left off. Seth's party had been three days ago and since then she had managed to avoid having a verbal conversation with him about his episode of jealousy. They had tried to talk about it before departing Seth's house but Josh's hard-headedness and refusal to admit that he had, in fact, been jealous had only served to frustrate her even more. On Sunday, she had left her phone at home, not really to avoid getting a text from him but mostly so there would not be any distractions during her spa day with Catherine. Of course, later that day, when her dad had called Catherine asking for help with tracking down Wo Fat, she had wished she had her phone with her; it had been so boring being stuck on Naval Base Pearl Harbor. Yesterday, thankfully, she had been busy with exams in all of her classes and then, after school, her Dad had taken her to a dental appointment; she hadn't had to face Josh at all. Last night Josh had texted her, asking her why she was upset with him and she had refused to text him back right away, going instead to talk to Catherine about everything.

Catherine had expressed her concern, telling her that jealousy was not a good trait and that, based on her own experience with a high school boyfriend, jealousy sometimes led to anger and violence. She had told Catherine that she wanted to try to work things out with Josh and _not_ because of their plans to start dating in less than a month. Rather, she had stressed that, because Josh was one of her best friends, she felt like she should at least try to make him see the error of his ways. Catherine had respected that decision of hers but had also stated that she would be carefully watching the way Josh interacted with her and, if she spotted something that appeared to be a red flag, even if all she did was sense that things were escalating, she would not hesitate to separate them by any and all means necessary. Nor would she hesitate to get both her dad and Josh's dad involved. Catherine had then encouraged her to be downright honest with Josh, laying down the rules with him, and to remember the importance of standing up for herself. It was only after that conversation with Catherine that she had finally texted him back more than two hours after receiving his text. Now was the first time she had been alone with him since Seth's party.

Josh sighed. "What if I told you that you were right?"

"It doesn't matter if I am right or not," Alex told him, even though she knew she was right about his behavior being irrational. "Right now, all we need to be doing is studying."

"I can't fix this if we don't talk about it."

"Josh," she stated, annoyance in her tone.

"Alex," he returned, never dropping eye contact with her. "I can't focus on studying if I don't try to fix this now. Please? Just five minutes?"

Alex sighed and closed the study guide, using her pencil to mark her page. "Fine, five minutes," she acquiesced, sitting back in her chair and crossing her arms in front of her, letting him know that she was less than pleased to be having this conversation, considering he had yet to get it through his thick skull that he had been acting stupid.

"Thank you," he replied, giving her a small, grateful smile. He sat there, looking at her, for several long seconds as he debated how to begin. Finally, he spoke. "You told me I had acted like an irrational jerk." When she didn't say anything in reply, he continued, "I can see the jerk thing. I mean, I shouldn't have tried to deny being jealous, especially not when you can read me so well." She still didn't say anything and her gaze never faltered. _Geez, she's really pissed at me._ "I'll admit that was a jerk thing to do but can you please explain why you think I'm being irrational? Please?"

Alex took a deep breath and expelled it. "Being jealous isn't like you, Josh. I've never seen you the way you've been the last week. There's absolutely no basis for your jealousy." She uncrossed her arms, taking on a more relaxed pose with her arms resting on the arms rests of the chair. "I don't know." She shrugged. "I guess I don't understand why you're acting like this all of a sudden. It's not a good trait and, if you keep it up, it's going to be detrimental to our relationship. It will ruin our friendship before we even start to date." She wasn't sure if that answered his question or not but she hoped she got her point across to him.

She assumed it had when it took awhile for him to respond. Instead, he just sat there, his mouth slightly open, staring at her. Finally, he cleared his throat. "You're right. It's not a healthy trait." He stood up and moved around the table, taking the seat next to her and swiveling the chair so he faced her. "I don't want to ruin what we have before we get a chance to explore taking our relationship to another level." He reached over and covered one of her hands with his own. "I'm sorry."

"I appreciate your apology," Alex told him, withdrawing her hand from underneath his. "But there's more to it than that. What made you start getting jealous?"

He sat back in the chair and shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, I guess the closer it's gotten to your birthday, I've started noticing it more and more."

"It?"

Josh nodded. "How many guys look at you," he explained. "How many of them flirt with you. I mean, you're beautiful so I get it but I—"

"I know we're not dating yet," Alex interrupted, forcing herself to not be influenced by his compliment. It was a struggle really to not melt every time he called her beautiful. After all, he was one of only a few people who had ever complimented her in that way. She couldn't even remember a time when her mother had called her beautiful. "But have I ever given you any reason to think that I'm no longer interested in you becoming my boyfriend?"

"No."

"Have I ever flirted with another boy," she continued. "Or made you feel like you had some competition? Have I ever given you reason to not trust me?"

"No," he repeated. "Never." He shook his head. "But it's not you I don't trust. It's them."

"Them?" Alex asked, giving into an amused laugh. "You got jealous of Seth. Seth! You know he's like a brother to me."

"It's not funny," he growled out, glaring at her.

Alex just stared at him for a minute. "When did you become so insecure?"

"I've always had some insecurities," he muttered, glancing at one of the self-made scars on his leg. "You know that."

"Okay, that's a fair statement," she replied, following his line of sight and resting her eyes on one of the visible wounds that was a result of his mother's abandonment. She reached over and touched his hand, causing him to raise his head and look at her. "But you've never been insecure about us."

"I know," he said, hanging his head in shame. "I screwed everything up and I'm sorry."

"Not everything is screwed up," Alex told him. "But if you –"

"What do you mean it's not screwed up?"

"I'm here, aren't I? Trying to talk things through with you."

Josh nodded. "Yeah you are but only because I begged you to talk."

"Well, seeing you grovel…" Alex trailed off, changing her mind about making a joke. "Look, if you really think all those guys are interested in dating me then that means my options are endless and I can choose to date whoever I want." She saw the level of disappointment rise in his eyes. "But I've chosen you, Josh." The disappointment quickly changed to giddy hope. "Despite you acting like someone I could barely recognize this last week, I'm still interested in giving dating a try." When Josh cracked a smile and reached for her hand, lacing his fingers with hers, she squeezed his hand and then pulled it away again. "But, if you start getting all jealous again whenever another boy talks to me, I will have to call you out on it and I'll have no choice but to break up with you."

"I understand," he told her, bound and determined to not screw things up again, especially because he knew that she would follow through with what she had just said. "Tell you what: if I end up acting like an irrational jerk again, feel free to sic your Dad on me."

Alex laughed. "Well, yeah, that's a given; you hurt me, he hurts you."

"I'm sorry," he told her again and she could see the sincerity in his eyes.

"I understand what it's like to not be able to trust people," she reminded him. "And you're one of the people who helped me learn to trust again."

"You helped me learn to trust again, too."

Alex nodded, thinking about how far they both had come since their first introduction. When they had first met at that summer camp nearly two years ago, they both had been dealing with issues of neglect, loneliness, a little bit of self-hate, and a crazy inability to trust most people. Those mutual feelings had been what had initially drawn them to each other – lost souls have an uncanny ability to recognize each other, even when their feelings are never vocalized initially – and together they had been able to move past all of the pain and confusion. "Even if you can't trust other guys to not try to steal me from you," she told him. "You need to just rely on your trust in me. Okay?" Giving into a grin, she added, "Or else I'll beat you up and then sic my Dad, Danny, Chin _and_ Kamekona on you. You'll have to deal with my Mom and Kono, too, and they're both pretty good at kicking butt…"

* * *

"Alright," Steve said, leaning forward to grab the remote control and then pushing a button to power off the television. "What did you think?" He was referring to the taped episode of the Savannah Walker Show, filmed during his team's last case, which they had just watched after it had aired earlier that day. Catherine, having had assisted by providing some satellite imagery of a trail head, had already known all of the details of the case. Alex, on the other hand, had only been told that Wo Fat had, first, been spotted at the crime scene and then apprehended later. After the film crew had finished taping, they had informed his team (and the Governor since it had been Denning who had approved the ridiculous taping anyway) that the footage would be aired the next day – today – and, after Alex had expressed interest in watching it, they had agreed to tape it and watch it as a family after dinner, once Alex's homework was completed.

"I'm still surprised the Governor approved it," Catherine commented, looking past Alex, who was sitting straight with her back against the couch. "I mean, granted the show didn't air until after your case was over, but still."

"All about publicity, I guess." Steve commented. He agreed with Catherine that a news crew should never have been given permission to be even partially embedded into their case. "What about you?" he asked his daughter, noting her silence not just now but throughout the duration of the show. "You haven't said a single word."

"You had the chance to kill him," Alex commented, her voice distant as she stared at the black screen of the TV. "You had the chance to kill him," she repeated, making him call to mind how he had stared down the sight of his weapon at a partially burned Wo Fat, knowing that he finally had been given the opportunity he had longed for ever since he had heard his father's murder over the phone. Alex turned her head to look at him. "But you didn't."

"Alex, I…" he started to say, interpreting his daughter's tone to be full of disappointment.

"Thank you," Alex said, surprising him when she threw her arms around him. "Thank you for being the best man I know." After everything Wo Fat had done to their family, after the torture that evil man had subjected him to, she had expected her dad to kill Wo Fat at the first opportunity provided to him. So, when, not even seven minutes ago, she had watched as her dad lowered his weapon, thereby giving Wo Fat a free pass to continue living his life, albeit burned and behind bars, her breath had hitched in her chest; she had seen an entirely new side of her dad, one that had probably been there all along, but had, until now, gone unnoticed by her. He was now, more than ever before, her hero. "And for being someone I can respect and be proud of."

Steve didn't say anything in reply as he hugged her, breathing in the smell of her freshly shampooed hair before dropping a kiss to the top of her head. Resting his chin on top of her head, he looked at Catherine and couldn't help but give into a smile. His daughter's words meant the world to him, giving him confidence that he was doing right by her. Steve's eyes drifted to the end table next to Catherine's end of the couch, resting briefly on the envelope there, before looking back at her. He flashed a grin at Catherine before subtly nodding his head. When she reached for the envelope, he let go of his daughter. "Catherine and I have something to tell you."

"What?" Alex asked, looking downward as something was thrust into her hands. "What is this?" she asked, eyeing the official looking envelope – the words "State of Hawaii" was printed on it – before looking at both of them.

"Open it," Catherine urged, giving her a smile. As Alex flipped the envelope over to open it, Catherine looked at Steve, whose eyes were practically sparkling with happiness.

"Tomorrow!?" Alex exclaimed excitedly, turning to look at Catherine. "The adoption will be finalized tomorrow?"

Catherine nodded. "At three-thirty tomorrow afternoon you will officially be my daughter." Alex grinned and then, before Steve or Catherine knew what was happening, she was crying. "Alex?" Catherine asked as she shared a concerned look with Steve as placed a hand on Alex's back.

"Alex?" Steve also said, wrapping an arm around Alex's shoulders. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Alex answered, swiping a hand across her eyes.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I'll finally have a mom who loves me," the teenager answered before being swept up into her soon-to-be mother's arms.

* * *

"He was joking, right?" Steve asked as he slid under the covers on his side of the bed.

Catherine didn't answer as she climbed into bed next to him. He had asked the same question, a reference to something Danny had told him more than an hour earlier, twice previously: once to Alex, who had refused to answer, and once to her while they had been finishing cleaning up from the Adoption party they had hosted earlier that evening. With it now being just after eleven, she had legally been Alex's mother for eight hours. After the adoption had been finalized that afternoon, the three of them had headed straight for the North Shore where, as a surprise to Alex, they had taken their first official pictures as a family. Then they had headed home where Steve, having planned it without either of their knowledge, surprised her and Alex with a large backyard party, attended by all of their friends and family – even her parents had been there; the original plan had been for them to surprise her at the Courthouse but a delayed flight had changed that – to celebrate the adoption.

It had been a very emotional experience, watching Alex meet her new grandparents for the first time; it had been an instant connection. While Steve and the other men – Chin, Danny, Kamekona, Jason, Seth's father, Tracy's father – started the grilling, she and Alex had spent about half an hour walking the beach with her parents, chatting and catching up. Of course, Catherine had caught a glimpse of Doris upon their return to the house and it had appeared like Steve's mother was a little hurt by Alex's ease and happiness with her parents. The rest of their evening had been full of laughter, with the seven kids in attendance playing in the ocean, and the adults having an equal amount of fun with their conversations. The party had started to break up around nine, with Kamekona, Chin, and Kono having to leave first; they were soon followed by Tracy and Seth's families. At some point, about an hour after that, Josh and Alex had stepped back onto the lanai – they had offered to start putting leftovers into the fridge and to load the dishwasher with dirty dishes – rushing hurriedly back down to the water. The reason for their speedy retreat had been made clear a few minutes later when Danny, flustered and embarrassed, had told Jason and Steve that he had just caught their teenagers making out in the kitchen.

"Right?" Steve continued. "He was just being a pain in the ass?"

Catherine sighed, rolling onto her side to face him. "Why do you say that?"

"It's Danny," Steve replied. "He likes to say certain things just because he knows how they'll affect me."

Having once caught Josh and Alex kissing, Catherine believed that Danny had truly seen what he had claimed to have seen. Yet, she didn't understand why he had made such a big deal out of it. "Would it bother you if he was telling the truth?"

Steve looked at her; his face took on the expression which Danny referred to as 'aneurysm face'. "You think he was? I mean, Alex wouldn't, would she?"

Catherine shrugged. "He seemed genuinely embarrassed although I can't understand why."

"No," Steve stated, clearly in denial. "Alex wouldn't…" he trailed off, looking at Catherine again. "I had a feeling Josh had kissed her once before," he admitted, thinking back to that camping trip with the Sullivan's and Boyer's from two Christmas holidays ago. "You really think they would? After I told them no dating until she was sixteen."

Catherine had to stifle a laugh. "No dating is not the same as no kissing."

Steve glared softly at her. "Why do I get the feeling that you find all of this amusing?"

"Because it is," Catherine told him. "Seriously, Steve, did _you_ wait until you were dating before you kissed a girl?"

"I—"

"No," Catherine interrupted, answering her question for him. "You were the boy who got in trouble in third grade for kissing girls on the school playground. Not to mention, weren't you also the thirteen year old who got suspended for meeting a girl in the girl's bathroom in the middle of class so you could make out with her?"

Steve's glare intensified. "You need to stop talking to my Mom," he told her, rolling over to face away from her.

Catherine leaned over him, dropping a kiss to his shoulder. "I get that she's your little girl but she _is_ fifteen. Almost sixteen." When he looked at her, she added, "Besides, it could be worse."

"How?"

"She could be electing to kiss one of the 'bad boys'." She gave him a smile. "At least Josh is a good kid. Even though I know you don't think any boy will ever be worth dating her."

"True," Steve acquiesced. "But I still don't like that –"

Sliding her hand up the outside of his thigh, she interrupted, "Maybe we can stop talking about what you don't like and focus on something you _do_ like." With that, she moved her hand around to the front of his thigh, stopping just shy of the desired location. It was enough to get a physical response out of him and he turned over, rolling on top of her, as all thoughts of his daughter quickly vanished from his mind.

* * *

"That was Audrey's mom," Catherine reported as she rejoined Steve, Alex, and her parents at the dining room table. "She's signed the waiver so make sure you get it from Audrey when you go back to school on Monday." Today was Thursday, the day after the adoption, and Alex had no school for the rest of the week due to a state mandated training conference for all of the teachers. She and Steve both needed to head to their respective offices soon; Alex would be spending the day with her new grandparents.

"Awesome!" Alex exclaimed, taking a bite of toast. "She didn't think she'd be able to make it but…" she trailed off, looking up from the table to look at her dad, who was seated on her left. "That's twelve so far. Are you still sure about this?" Twelve people, not including the three who had yet to RSVP or her parents, was a lot of people, meaning that the first part of her birthday celebration would end up being pretty expensive. "We don't have to –"

"Yes, I'm sure," Steve interrupted her. "There is absolutely no way we are going to cancel Ziplining, especially now that you have me excited to do it again."

"It was really fun last time we did it, wasn't it?" Alex replied, giving into an excited grin. She looked across the table at Michael and Caroline Rollins – she still couldn't believe they were her grandparents now thanks to the adoption – and asked, "Have you ever Ziplined?"

Caroline, a steaming cup of tea in her hands, shook her head. "No and I have no desire to."

"Really?" Alex asked her. "How come?"

"Mom prefers to keep her feet planted firmly on the ground," Catherine answered, leaning into Steve slightly as he placed a kiss to her temple.

"Exactly," Caroline agreed. "I am nothing like my husband or daughter when it comes to that kind of stuff."

"That's right," Michael spoke up. "Catherine gets her proclivity for those kinds of activities from me." Smiling fondly at his memories, he added, "When we lived in Texas, I don't think a single day went by when you didn't ask me to take you skydiving." In addition to skydiving, his daughter had, at one time or another, expressed interest in rock climbing, parasailing, hang gliding, spelunking, and other activities that made her mother stay up at night with worry. At the same time, Catherine had always been very feminine too; a sign that she did have some of her mother in her. Many times young Catherine had insisted on going hiking or ice skating or climbing trees in one of her many skirts and, as she had done on the day of her prom, had often gone from being covered in mud to dressed in a beautiful formal gown in the span of an hour.

"You let her go skydiving when she was a teenager?" Alex asked, her jaw dropping slightly open in awe. She turned to look at her dad. "Why won't you let me go?"

"I don't have much say in the matter, Alex," Steve reminded her. "There is not a single skydiving company on Oahu that allows anyone younger than 18 to participate."

"But you could take me," Alex argued, referring to his experience with the sport. "I'll go tandem with you. Or just have me go with one of your Navy friends who teach at the SEAL training camp."

Don't start, Alex," he told her, knowing from experience where this conversation was headed. It was the same argument she had made the last time he had discussed it with her. Picking his vibrating phone up off of the table, he quickly added, "I'll take you when you're old enough." He answered his phone with his traditional greeting, listened for a few seconds, and then hung up. "I have to go," he announced, standing up from the table as he slid his cell phone into his pocket. "Love you," he stated, bending down and kissing Catherine. "Behave today," he continued, moving onto his daughter. "Got it?" he asked, tapping her on the shoulder so she looked up at him.

"Don't worry," she replied, giving him a grin. "I won't do anything you've never done." That earned a good chuckle out of everyone but Steve.

He sighed. "What am I going to do with you?" He shook his head at her laughter. "I'm serious, Alex," he told her. He looked at his future in-laws. "Don't let her convince you to buy her a bikini bathing suit," he told them, referring to another one of his daughter's arguments of late. "And she's not allowed to have her phone back either." He started to move out of the room.

"Dad?"

"No phone," he repeated.

"That's not what I want to know."

"I really need to go, Sweetheart."

"Can I cut your hair tonight?" she asked him, turning to look at him. His hair had looked pretty bad even before he had left to recover Freddie's body; it looked even worse now. "It doesn't look very good on you right now."

Steve feigned a look of offense. "You don't like this?" he asked, pointing to his head. The truth was that his hair was currently longer than it ever had been. He didn't really like it either and had been planning on trimming it later today.

"Babe, to be honest," Catherine said, joining the conversation. "I agree that it's time you get a haircut."

"Okay," he said, looking back at his daughter. "I'll let you cut it as long as you don't promise to make me bald."

* * *

**A/N: We are getting closer to Alex's 16****th**** birthday! Please read and review! Let me know if there is anything special you would like to see for her birthday! Thank you!**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: So sorry for the delay in posting. Between being on vacation for a week and other RL things, I just didn't have much time for writing. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. **

"I gotta hand it to you, Buddy," Danny stated as he, Catherine, Alex and Steve arrived at Kamekona's Sumo Smash-em Event. "You got a lot of heart showing up with that haircut."

"You know," Steve replied, "I find it difficult to be insulted by a man who uses more products in his hair than most women." Beside him, Alex started laughing, not bothering to stop when Danny shot her an annoyed look.

"Sinead O'Connor called," Danny said, continuing their brotherly diatribe. "She wants her hair back." Catherine laughed out loud at that; Alex, not knowing who Sinead O'Connor was, just stared at Danny in confusion.

"Very good," Steve stated, complimenting Danny sarcastically on his pop culture reference.

"You know," Catherine commented, expressing her thoughts on Steve's new haircut for the first time. "Hairstyle would imply this was intentional. I think Alex just got a little carried away with trimming his sideburns."

"You too, huh?" Steve asked, looking at Catherine.

"What?" she asked with an amused smile on her face. "It's what happened." When Alex and Steve had headed into the master bathroom last night to cut his hair, she had expected his hair to be slightly trimmed. To say she had been surprised when he had exited the bathroom with his hair as short as it was now would have been an understatement. Of course, at the time, she had not wanted Alex to feel bad about the haircut so, instead, she had asked them to explain what had inspired the buzz cut. Now, though, it was just comical, considering the slack he was getting from Danny.

"Oh, so you did this to him?" Danny asked the teenager. "Was it payback for him embarrassing you at some time or another?" He glanced at Steve and then back at Alex. "Because, I mean, I know he can be very annoying sometimes but this is just cruel and unusual punishment."

"I like it," Alex replied. "I think it's a lot better than before. His sideburns looked like crap." Catching the look her dad shot in her direction, she continued, "What? It's true. Your hair was way too long and it looked terrible underneath your combination hat at Freddie's funeral."

Before Steve had a chance to reply, Kono and Chin joined them on the sidelines of the sumo match-up. "Whoa," Kono said, looking at Steve. "Bold new look there, Boss."

"Everybody? Really?" Steve asked with a dismayed look on his face. "Okay, it's hair. Hair grows back."

"If you're lucky," Chin piped in.

"I like it," Alex repeated, entirely committed to her belief that his hair now looked far better than it had prior to her taking a razor to his head.

"You would," Danny commented. "Considering you're the one who cut it like that."

"I found a picture and thought he looked handsome in it," Alex said with a shrug. "And, you know, Uncle Danny, if you let me cut your hair like this, you could start helping to save the environment by not needing to use a can of hairspray every morning." That earned a laugh from everyone except for Danny.

"A picture?" Chin finally asked, referring to the teenager's comment. "From when?"

Alex shrugged. "I was little; I don't remember."

"It was from my BUD/S graduation in 2001," Steve stated before telling the story behind the picture to his daughter.

_Coronado – BUD/S Graduation – 2001_

"_Daddy!" As he had walked amongst the crowd, the multitude of people – family members of those sons, fathers, brothers, and lovers who had been attending BUD/S training for six months – gathered to celebrate this special day, had made it difficult to locate the two people of his family who had come to his graduation. As he cleared the crowd, his eyes finally landed on Cindy, who was characteristically standing back from the crowd in an attempt to avoid a moment of claustrophobia, smiling when her eyes found his. Even though she had turned down his marriage proposal on the eve of his departure for Coronado, he still felt this immense swelling of love in his heart for her; by the look in her eye he had a feeling that catch-up sex tonight would be mind-blowing. The only person in the world he loved more than her was his three, soon to be in five days, four year old. He heard his name again and squatted in place with his arms wide open as his little girl came running towards him. _

_He enveloped her in his arms, holding her tightly against his chest, before picking her up. He breathed in the smell of her shampoo, placing kisses all over her little face as he started to walk towards Cindy. It was amazing the affect that hugging his little girl again had on him; he could instantly feel the stress of the last six months leaving his body. Alexandra wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his neck, and he could hear her murmuring his name over and over again. As he and Cindy made their way towards each other, he could feel Alexandra's little hands start stroking his head. When he reached Cindy, he wrapped his free arm around her, pulling her close and they kissed each other with equal fervor. They broke apart when their daughter started calling for them repeatedly. _

"_What, honey?" Cindy asked, leaning against Steve as he pulled her closer into his side. _

"_It's Daddy," Alex told her, as her little fingers moved from his hair down to his face and back up to his hair again. Her gaze, locked entirely on Steve, was one of pure love and admiration. _

"_Yes," Cindy replied, smiling at the immense joy on her daughter's face. "It's Daddy. We're with Daddy again." _

"_Where's your hair, Daddy?" Alex asked him, confirming what Steve had suspected as the reason for her fascination with his head. _

"_It's a buzz cut," he told her, not expecting her to understand that the Navy required all BUD/S students to have their hair trimmed in this manner. _

"_Buzz?" she asked him, stopping her ministrations on his head and giving him a confused look. "Bees go buzz." _

_He chuckled. "Yes, Sweetheart," he said, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Bees do go buzz." _

"_Why no hair, Daddy?" _

"_Because the Navy made me cut it all off," he told her, glancing at Cindy and wondering if Alex was still in that phase where she questioned every single thing they said to her. _

"_Why?" _

"_Because that's one of the Navy rules," Cindy told her daughter, reaching up and tucking a loose strand of hair behind Alex's ear. _

"_Why?"_

_Steve saw the look that flashed in Cindy's eyes. Six months of being a single mom to their overly curious child; no wonder she looked tired and annoyed at Alex's questions. He tried to change it up, hoping Alex's curiosity would lessen some if he asked her a question. "Do you like my hair like this?" _

_Alex studied him for several long moments, her fingers stroking his head again. "You're pretty, Daddy." _

"_I think you mean handsome," Cindy told her, forcing herself not to laugh at the expression on Steve's face. _

"_No," Alex insisted, shaking her head, adamant that her word choice had been accurate. "Daddy's pretty!" _

"_What's that I hear? McGarrett's pretty?" The male voice belonged to Freddie Hart, who, along with his parents, joined them. The two families already had plans to grab lunch together at a local restaurant before heading their separate ways for their two weeks of leave. _

"_Shut it, Hart," Steve muttered, before he dropped his arm from around Cindy which allowed him to hug Freddie's mother and shake Mr. Hart's hand. _

"_So, little lady," Freddie said, greeting the child, "You think your daddy is pretty."_

_Alex nodded. "Buzz," she said, reaching over and touching Freddie's short hair. "You're pretty too, Uncle Freddie." All of the adults laughed at that – the expression on Freddie's face was hilarious – and Steve's laughter was the loudest. _

"_Congratulations, Steve."_

_Their laughter was cut short by the man's voice that came from several feet away. "Grandpa!" Alex shouted, wiggling so much that Steve had to set her down on her two feet. Alex ran towards John McGarrett, jumping into his arms, oblivious to the look of absolute surprise on her dad's face. As Alex started chatting non-stop at the older man, the father and son duo just stared at each other; Steve was surprised to see his father, as he had not been scheduled to attend the ceremony. _

_Cindy, understanding the history and tension between the two, squeezed Steve's hand reassuringly and then stepped over to John. She kissed him on the cheek and then took her daughter from him. "C'mon, Alexandra, let's go for a walk while Daddy talks to Grandpa." _

"_No," Alex argued, pulling away from Cindy. "I want Daddy and Grandpa." _

"_Go with Mommy," Steve told her. _

"_No!"_

_Freddie wasn't sure if he should interrupt or not but decided he would attempt to help his friends out. "Hey, Alexandra? Would you like to see the grown up playground your daddy and I got to play on?" He was referring to the difficult obstacle course that they had completed multiple times during Phase 1 of their training. _

"_Monkey bars?" _

_Not monkey bars a three year old could go on. "How about we go see?"_

"_Okay," she said, reaching for his hand. _

_Leaning down, he whispered in Cindy's ear. "If you want to stay here with Steve, my parents and I can keep an eye on her."_

"Anyways," Steve said, no longer talking directly to his daughter but to his teammates as well. "After Cindy and I spent fifteen minutes catching up with my Dad, the three of us met back up with the Harts and Alex. That's when we took the pictures." They had taken a few pictures of just the three of them – him, Cindy, and Alex – as well as a couple with his dad and one with the Harts.

Danny turned and looked at the teenager. "And you really do like his hair like this?"

Alex nodded. "I think it makes him look younger," she told them. Giving into a smirk, she glanced up at her dad. "And pretty."

Steve rolled his eyes at her as he phone started to ring. "McGarrett." After several seconds of listening to the caller, he hung up. "We gotta go." He leaned over and kissed his daughter on top of her head. "Love you." He then kissed Catherine, letting his lips linger on hers for a few seconds. "I love you. Enjoy the day with your parents."

* * *

"What's going on?" Catherine asked him, placing a hand on his bicep. "Why are you so tense?"

Steve expelled an anxiety-laden breath. "This case…" he trailed off, shaking his head in an attempt to clear it. "I didn't sleep very much when Alex was missing," he told her. "But the one time I did, I had a nightmare that we found Alex dead." He expelled another shaky breath. "This girl that was found this morning… it was like my nightmare was being played out in front of me." The teenage girl had been found barefoot, with a bullet wound in her back, and buried in a shallow grave in the jungle. As if seeing the girl's body hadn't been bad enough, it had been worse when Charlie Fong had found proof that the girl's ankle had been shackled for years. He had tried his best to not make comparisons to Alex, to not make this case personal, but it had made him nearly sick to his stomach to think that his own daughter had also been shackled during the time of her captivity. "I'm not supposed to make these things personal but I can't help it."

"I know this is hard for you," Catherine told him. "I would be reacting the same way if I were you." She hugged him and, when he wrapped his arms around her and nestled his face into her neck, she knew he was taking comfort from her touch. She waited until his anxious breathing returned to normal and for his body to relax. When it did, she stepped out of the embrace. "I know it's hard but you need to keep reminding yourself that our daughter is safe." Nodding to her right, she continued, "She's over there with my parents, laughing and having fun, without a worry in the world at the moment." When Steve turned to look at one of the picnic tables at Kamekona's, she dropped a kiss to his shoulder. "She's going to be sixteen in ten days. Try to focus on how exciting that is."

Steve snorted as he leaned back against the car. "Exciting for who?" He looked down at her. "All her turning sixteen means is more stress for me."

"Oh, stop," she returned, giving him a playful slap on the arm. "You _are_ looking forward to her birthday and you know it."

Steve's eye picked up on Danny, who was standing at Kamekona's shrimp truck being handed a bag of food. "Looks like our lunch is ready," he told her, referring to the food they had ordered for the team. "We better head back HQ."

"Okay," she replied, kissing him quickly. "If you need me, just call. Alright?"

Steve nodded as Danny strolled towards them. "Tell Alex I love her. I'll let you know when I'm on my way home."

* * *

Glancing through the glass on the lanai doors, Alex spotted her Dad sitting on the couch, his head back and his legs propped on the coffee table. He had arrived home about ten minutes ago. His white pants had been covered in dirt and he had looked exhausted. He had joined them on the lanai briefly, only long enough to give Catherine a kiss and tell them he was going up to shower but would join them as soon as he was done. Considering he had opted for the couch instead, Alex figured his day had been harder than he had let on when she had spoken to him on the phone earlier. Excusing herself from their game of Trivial Pursuit – she asked Catherine to take her turn for her – she headed inside, taking Anchor with her.

Her dad never gave any sign that he had heard her enter the house. Not until she sat down next to him, right leg flush against his left leg and shoulder touching his upper arm. "Hi," she greeted when he opened one eye to look at her.

"Hi."

"Are you doing okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked as he raised his head off the back of the couch to look at her fully.

Alex shrugged. "Because you're human _and_ you had a rough day." She bumped her knee against his. "It's okay to not be okay sometimes. You taught me that."

"I'm okay," he told her, kissing the top of her head. "And I appreciate your concern. It's just… it was an emotional day."

Alex nodded in understanding and they sat there in silence for several minutes. "Did it remind you of when I was missing?" Alex asked finally, looking up at him.

"Yeah, Sweetheart," Steve said, finding it hard to talk over the lump in his throat. "It did."

"No one ever talks about the parents," Alex commented, studying the emotions etched in her dad's face.

"What?"

"You always hear psychologists speculate about how kids will adapt after having survived being kidnapped," Alex replied, her hand coming down to rest on Anchor's head as he rested his head in her lap. "But no one ever talks about the lasting effects it has on the parents. Even when the kid survives and comes home…"

"Alex –"

"It's true, Dad," she interrupted. "The focus is always on the kid, never on the parents. Or in your case: _parent_." She shrugged. "I think my kidnapping was probably harder on you than it was me."

"There is no way this was harder on me," Steve insisted.

"I disagree," Alex argued gently. "Because of the element of the unknown."

"The unknown?"

Alex nodded. "I knew where I was; I knew what was happening to me; I knew what the guys who had taken me looked like. You didn't know any of that, Dad. The fear you were going through was worse than anything I was enduring at the time."

"They hurt you, Alex," he needlessly reminded her. "What I went through when you were missing is nothing compared to that."

"You and I both know that emotional pain lasts far longer than physical pain," Alex countered with stubbornness equal to that of her father. "So you're right: your emotional anguish is nothing compared to the physical pain I went through." She gave him a smug smile. "It's worse."

Steve rolled his eyes and gave into an amused laugh at her insistence on being right. Pulling her close again, he dropped a kiss to the top of her head. Resting his cheek against her head, he snagged the TV remote off of the end table and powered on the television. Maybe all he needed to unwind from his stressful day was to enjoy a quiet evening with his daughter; a reminder that she was safe and sound at home, that the days of her kidnapping were long past, would help him to re-focus on the positive things in life. He started flipping through the channels, finally stopping on ESPN at his daughter's request so she could check the baseball scores from the weekend's games.

"I'm sorry no one likes your hair." Her apologetic tone matched the look of disappointment on her face.

Steve shrugged. "I could care less what people think."

"I'm still sorry," she told him. "

"Well," he said, squeezing her shoulder affectionately. "I don't mind my hair looking like this."

Alex smiled. "Good because I still think you look handsome."

"Thank you, Sweetheart," he returned, giving her a bright smile. Feeling his stomach grumble, he glanced at his watch. "Have you guys had dinner?"

"No, we were waiting for you."

"What do you say we go pick up some takeout?"

"Sounds good," Alex replied, getting to her feet. "I'll see what everyone wants." She started to move across the room, headed back towards the lanai but stopped when she heard her dad speaking.

"Why don't you give the Sullivan's a call and see if they would like to join us."

"Really?"

Steve nodded. "Yes, really." As his daughter left the house, he laid his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. It had been a rough day but his daughter had managed to make him feel better; oh, how he loved that kid! He felt his body relaxing as it sank into the couch and, for the first time all day, his mind wasn't recalling Alex's kidnapping.

"Did you really tell Alex she could invite Jason and the boys over?"

Steve opened his eyes just as Catherine sat down next to him. "Yes, I did. Why?"

"I confiscated her phone today because she wouldn't stop texting Josh," Catherine informed him. "I thought maybe she was using that excuse as a way to talk to him."

"Nope, it was completely my idea," Steve assured her as he lifted her hand to his face and kissed it. "I need to talk to Jason anyway; tell him what we decided to offer."

* * *

"Are you sure, Steve?" Jason asked, looking over at his friend as they stood on the lanai, a beer in both of their hands, watching their children play with Anchor down on the beach. "I don't want to inconvenience you by –"

"It's not an inconvenience," Steve interrupted. "Catherine and I talked about it and we're in agreement: the boys can stay with us until your parents can get here." He shrugged. "That way you won't have to take them out of school two weeks early and they won't have to be shuffled around from home to home for a year. Their home is here now; let them stay." He took a swig of his beer. "Even if your parents' trip gets delayed, the boys can still stay here."

"I don't know what to say," Jason told him, still in mild disbelief that Steve had offered to take care of his boys for those few months between his deployment date and the fall when his mother should be well enough again to come take care of them here in Hawaii. A few hours ago he had finally been able to solidify some summer plans for Sam, who would be spending four weeks in Texas with friends whom they had known in Italy. His initial plans had been to send the boys to his sister's place in Kansas City but, due to her having received an appointment with the Peace Corps for a twenty-seven month stint in Cambodia, he had been forced to search for alternative solutions. His parents, despite their declining health status, had offered to take the boys for the summer before returning to Hawaii with the kids for the school year but those plans had also changed when his mother had been admitted to the hospital a few months ago. Due to some complications during her recovery from a minimally invasive heart surgery, his parents were simply unable to care for the boys over the summer. All of the stress associated with finding a place for his boys was now over thanks to Steve and Catherine's generous offer. It brought such a grand sense of comfort to know that his boys would be staying in a safe and loving place. Knowing they would be well taken care of would give him less to worry about during his deployment. "That means more to me than you know."

"I've been there, man," Steve said. "Luckily for me, the timing always worked out better." He nodded towards the three children. "We haven't quite worked out living arrangements yet but we'll probably work on converting part of the living room into a bedroom for your boys. If that's okay with you."

"They could sleep on the floor every night," Jason stated. "You're doing me a huge favor." Shifting his beer to his left hand, he reached a hand out and offered it to Steve. Shaking his friend's hand, he added, "Thank you."

Steve smiled. "You're welcome." His eyes glanced back towards the beach; his face gave way to a frown. "I will warn you though: if I ever catch him in my daughter's room…"

Jason followed Steve's line of sight, his eyes landing on Josh, who had his arms wrapped around Alex's midsection from behind as they were both sharing a laugh with Sam. Jason sighed. "It was so much easier when he thought girls had cooties."

"Mind telling him that Alex has cooties?"

Jason laughed. "That wouldn't work and you know it." He took another swig of his beer. "I'll make sure he understands the rules and that, if he screws you up, you get to punish him however you see fit."

* * *

**A/N: Anyone surprised that Steve offered to take in the boys? **


End file.
